1 00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:08,307 Captioning made possible by comedy central 2 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,276 ? I'm going down to south park? 3 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,912 ? Gonna have myself a time? 4 00:00:11,947 --> 00:00:13,513 ? Friendly faces everywhere? 5 00:00:13,946 --> 00:00:15,248 ? Humble folks without temptation? 6 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:17,000 ? Going down to south park? 7 00:00:17,035 --> 00:00:18,744 ? Gonna leave my woes behind? 8 00:00:18,779 --> 00:00:20,418 ? Ample parking day or night? 9 00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:21,754 ? People spouting "howdy neighbor"? 10 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,055 ? Headin' on up to south park? 11 00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:25,658 ? Gonna see if i can't unwind? 12 00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,646 ? So come on down to south park? 13 00:00:30,681 --> 00:00:32,598 ? And meet some friends of mine? 14 00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,739 All right, miss sanders, 15 00:00:40,172 --> 00:00:41,474 All ready for your abortion? 16 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,944 Ready as i'm ever going to be, i guess. 17 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,512 Well, try to relax. 18 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,282 It will all be over very soon. 19 00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:53,185 Doctor, can we turn off that television? 20 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,222 Oh, yes, i'm sorry. 21 00:00:57,957 --> 00:00:59,692 Now, there is one more thing. 22 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,525 What? 23 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,861 Have you heard of stem cell research? 24 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,162 I've heard of it on the news, 25 00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:04,428 But i don't know what it is. 26 00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:06,632 Well, basically a lot of amazing studies have shown 27 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,801 That stem cells might be used to fight cancer 28 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:09,903 And a myriad of other diseases. 29 00:01:09,938 --> 00:01:10,935 Right now, a lot of stem cells 30 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:13,139 Come from the tissue of aborted fetuses- 31 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:15,273 I'm sorry, unwanted children. 32 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:18,344 And if you sign a release that tissue can go to study. 33 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,513 Oh, well, i suppose if it can help others. 34 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,682 The hope is that someday it might. 35 00:01:22,717 --> 00:01:24,434 Okay. 36 00:01:24,469 --> 00:01:26,117 Great. 37 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,887 Well, here we go. 38 00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:43,502 Nurse. 39 00:01:43,936 --> 00:01:45,671 This is to go toalder'slabs for stem cell research. 40 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,406 Yes, doctor. 41 00:01:50,876 --> 00:01:53,444 ? On the road again? 42 00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:57,782 ? Just can't wait to get on the road again? 43 00:01:57,817 --> 00:02:01,721 ? The life i love is making music with my friends? 44 00:02:01,756 --> 00:02:05,625 ? And i can't wait to get on the road again? 45 00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:08,661 ? On the road again? 46 00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:12,964 ? Going places that i've never been? 47 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:16,035 ? Seeing things that i may never see again...? 48 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:18,204 Jesus christ! 49 00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:24,675 ? On the road the road? 50 00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:27,313 ? Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway? 51 00:02:28,614 --> 00:02:31,217 ? My baby takes the morning train? 52 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,821 Hmm? 53 00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:38,808 ? On the road again...? 54 00:02:38,843 --> 00:02:40,760 What do we have here? 55 00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:42,928 Well, that burned a long time. 56 00:02:43,362 --> 00:02:44,663 Yeah, that was pretty good. 57 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,965 Oh dude, there goes one. 58 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,665 Okay, go. 59 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,435 All right! All right! 60 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:52,905 You've had that cough a while, kenny, you okay? 61 00:02:54,206 --> 00:02:55,508 Hey, fellas, hey, fellas! 62 00:02:55,941 --> 00:02:56,774 What, butters? 63 00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:58,544 Eric says you gotta come to his house right away. 64 00:02:58,579 --> 00:02:59,377 Tell him we're busy. 65 00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:01,147 Oh, well, he knew you'd say that 66 00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:03,315 So he told me to tell you that you don't wanna miss this. 67 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,582 What, did he lose 100 pounds? 68 00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:07,219 Yeah, yeah, he knew you'd say that too 69 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,822 So he said to say, "up your ass, jew." 70 00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,390 Yeah. 71 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,593 All right, let's go see what he wants. 72 00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:19,365 Oh, it's all sticky. 73 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,366 All right, cartman, what's so important 74 00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:24,136 You had to pull us away from lighting cow crap on fire? 75 00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:25,438 Oh, you guys, you're not gonna believe it. 76 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,270 What? 77 00:03:26,305 --> 00:03:28,040 Guess what i have sitting in my backyard. 78 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:29,341 A trampoline? 79 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,443 Better. 80 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:31,510 A boat? 81 00:03:31,944 --> 00:03:32,777 Better. 82 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:33,679 A f-King machine? 83 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:34,980 Better. 84 00:03:35,414 --> 00:03:37,800 Well, what, cartman? 85 00:03:37,835 --> 00:03:40,186 33 aborted fetuses. 86 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,391 Oh yes. 87 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,091 What? 88 00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:48,826 Mint condition, tax free. 89 00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:51,030 Cartman, what the hell are you doing with aborted fetuses? 90 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,296 I'm leaving, right now. 91 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,066 Oh, i guess you don't watch the news, kyle. 92 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,766 You've never watched the news, fat-Ass. 93 00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,536 And what the hell does that have to do with anything? 94 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,838 Stem cells, numb nuts. 95 00:03:58,873 --> 00:03:59,670 Stem cells? 96 00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:01,006 Oh, and what do you know about stem cells? 97 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,140 What the heck are stem cells? 98 00:04:03,175 --> 00:04:04,442 They're cells that come from fetuses. 99 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,778 And some research shows that they could be used 100 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,610 To treat diseases. 101 00:04:06,645 --> 00:04:07,912 It's been proven, jew! 102 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,213 I saw it on "3-2-1 contact". 103 00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,514 With all the research that's going on 104 00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:12,718 Stem cells are worth three times their weight in gold. 105 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,887 What i have in my backyard is an aborted treasure chest. 106 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,490 I hate you so much. 107 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,226 Fine, i don't need you assholes! 108 00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:25,731 I can sell these fetuses all on my own! 109 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:31,370 Hello, is this university of colorado biology department? 110 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,671 Great, i understand you're currently doing research 111 00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:34,406 On stem cells. 112 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,974 Cool, because i'm currently in possession 113 00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:38,744 Of some aborted fetuses i'm looking to unload. 114 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:42,214 How much do you pay? 115 00:04:42,648 --> 00:04:43,516 No, no, come on, i got a guy in cleveland 116 00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:46,118 Who's gonna give me $80 a pound right now. 117 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,853 How about 100? 118 00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:50,456 You're breaking my balls, i'll think about it. 119 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,590 Bos-Nad medical group? 120 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,794 Yeah, i called earlier about the stem cells and the fetuses. 121 00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,494 Okay, hi, randy, yeah. 122 00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,697 Oh yes, they've been kept in a cool temperature, yeah. 123 00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:01,734 These are primo fetuses, randy, i wouldn't jerk you around. 124 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,903 So what can your company give me for them? 125 00:05:04,336 --> 00:05:06,505 Oh, randy, you're breaking my balls here. 126 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,807 You're breaking my balls, randy. 127 00:05:07,842 --> 00:05:09,108 Oh please! 128 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:10,409 Okay, you tell me where you can get aborted fetuses 129 00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,144 For 70 cents on the dollar? 130 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,410 You tell me, chuck. 131 00:05:13,445 --> 00:05:14,712 Yeah, i didn't think so. 132 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,048 Y'know, i'm just like the fetuses, chuck, 133 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,017 I wasn't born yesterday either. 134 00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,917 Uh-Huh, so are you gonna talk to me 135 00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,687 Or are we just gonna keep bull-Ing each other? 136 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:22,953 Breaking my balls, chuck. 137 00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:23,856 I gotta unload these fetuses, 138 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,157 You wanna do some research. 139 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,476 Are we talking here or what? 140 00:05:26,511 --> 00:05:27,725 You're breaking my balls. 141 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,061 I'm telling you, if you let this deal pass you by 142 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,664 You're making a "fetal" mistake. 143 00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:34,231 A hundred-Ten? 144 00:05:34,266 --> 00:05:37,303 All right, all right, we got a deal. 145 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,003 Good-Bye. 146 00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:40,773 Damn, i'm good. 147 00:05:47,713 --> 00:05:48,979 Can i help you? 148 00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:50,749 Yes, i'm making a delivery of these fetuses here. 149 00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:52,449 Oh right, the fetuses. 150 00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:53,785 We were very lucky you called. 151 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,052 Our last shipment of fetuses 152 00:05:55,087 --> 00:05:56,388 Was was lost in a truck accident. 153 00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:57,655 Gee, that's terrible. 154 00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:58,991 So who do i talk to about payment? 155 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,726 This is awful, just awful. 156 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,992 Oh, larry. 157 00:06:02,027 --> 00:06:03,727 This young man has the new fetuses for research. 158 00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:05,931 You're gonna love these fetuses, larry, they're top notch. 159 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,534 Oh, i'm sorry but we can't buy those from you now. 160 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,101 What?! We made a deal, larry. 161 00:06:11,136 --> 00:06:13,088 I brought them all the way down here already! 162 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,040 I'm afraid the government has just put a ban 163 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,775 On stem cell research. 164 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,608 A ban- Why? 165 00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:20,246 Too many people were upset about using 166 00:06:20,281 --> 00:06:21,981 Aborted fetal tissue for study. 167 00:06:22,016 --> 00:06:23,247 It's too bad, too. 168 00:06:23,282 --> 00:06:25,451 We really could've helped a lot of people. 169 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:26,717 Aye! 170 00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:28,921 What the hell am i supposed to do with these things, huh?! 171 00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:31,523 God damn it! 172 00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,126 Dude, it looks like cartman and kenny 173 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:34,994 Are ditching school again. 174 00:06:35,427 --> 00:06:36,728 Yeah, they're gonna get busted again. 175 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,030 All right, class, let's take our seats. 176 00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,849 Now, before we get started, stan and kyle, 177 00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:43,235 The principal needs to see you in her office. 178 00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:44,935 The principal, oh, come on! 179 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,705 We don't know where cartman is, miss choksondik. 180 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,024 She needs to see you now. 181 00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,768 Ah, man, here we go again. 182 00:06:49,803 --> 00:06:51,477 Use the jew as a scapegoat. 183 00:06:54,079 --> 00:06:54,947 Hello, boys. 184 00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,549 Wait, what's going on here? 185 00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,285 All right, look, we don't know for sure 186 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:00,551 Why cartman is ditching school, 187 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:01,887 But it has something to do with abortions. 188 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,153 That's all we know. 189 00:07:03,188 --> 00:07:04,490 You didn't do anything wrong, boys, 190 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,225 We just need to talk to you. 191 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,394 Have a seat. 192 00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:10,961 Boys, uh... 193 00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:15,334 Your little friend kenny went to the hospital last night, m'kay. 194 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:19,238 And, well, he's pretty sick. 195 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:21,207 Kenny's sick? 196 00:07:21,242 --> 00:07:23,107 Well, how sick? 197 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:25,311 Children, kenny has been diagnosed 198 00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,878 With a terminal disease. 199 00:07:27,913 --> 00:07:32,251 But, the doctors are gonna make him better, right? 200 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,118 Oh, dear. 201 00:07:33,552 --> 00:07:34,853 Mom, that's what hospitals are for. 202 00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:36,155 They can make him better. 203 00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,855 Randy. 204 00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,156 They don't think so, stanley. 205 00:07:39,191 --> 00:07:41,759 Your friend is terminally ill and that means... 206 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:47,866 Well, son, that means he's going to be going to heaven soon. 207 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,035 Wait, kenny's going to die? 208 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,735 He might, kyle. 209 00:07:51,770 --> 00:07:56,073 But, he's our f- F-F-Friend. 210 00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:58,711 We know, and that's why he's gonna need you boys 211 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,278 To be strong for him, m'kay. 212 00:08:01,313 --> 00:08:03,916 He needs you now more than ever. 213 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,518 No, this can't happen. 214 00:08:06,952 --> 00:08:08,470 Kenny can't die! 215 00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:09,989 Kenny can't die! 216 00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:16,695 Come on, jack, you gotta be able to offer me more than that. 217 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,098 Yes, i realize there's a ban on stem cell research, 218 00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,432 But i've got 30 some-Odd human fetuses in my backyard. 219 00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:24,937 I'm sure there's other research your company can do with them. 220 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,203 You'll take one? 221 00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:27,539 Okay, how much for one? 222 00:08:27,973 --> 00:08:30,142 Oh, jack, you're breaking my balls here, jack. 223 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,311 Hello, is thiscaptain bly's seafood restaurant? 224 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,011 Yeah, hi, i've got a shipment of about 31 225 00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:36,215 Of the most succulent shrimp from the west indies. 226 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:37,950 These are killer shrimp, gary, 227 00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:39,650 Your customers are gonna love 'em. 228 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,420 What kind of price are you paying for shrimp? 229 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,155 Oh, gary, you're breaking my balls, gary. 230 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,690 How about 10 and a quarter? 231 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,759 Balls, gary, breaking them. 232 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,759 All right, i'll call you back. 233 00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,095 Sweetie, your friends are downstairs. 234 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,362 They need to see you. 235 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:52,915 Not now, mom, i've only unloaded three "fetae", 236 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,433 I've gotta sell the rest before they spoil. 237 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:55,734 They say it's an emergency. 238 00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,035 All right. 239 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,137 Butters? 240 00:08:58,172 --> 00:08:59,169 Yeah. 241 00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:00,072 Are you through databasing the clientele sheet? 242 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,338 Just about. 243 00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:02,241 All right, well, you gotta take over 244 00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:03,108 The telemarketing for a bit. 245 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,375 Oh, okay. 246 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:05,277 Just remember what i taught you 247 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,145 And follow protocol. 248 00:09:06,578 --> 00:09:07,446 The next number to try is on the list. 249 00:09:07,481 --> 00:09:09,181 Right. 250 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,386 Hello, is this mr. Thompson with anatomy research? 251 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,520 Yes, hello, sir. 252 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:18,689 We have a surplus of unborn fetuses 253 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,326 That we think you could use for dissection study. 254 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,363 Uh-Huh, how much are you pay for that? 255 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,063 You're breaking my balls. 256 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:28,700 I said you're breaking my balls, mr. Thompson. 257 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,268 My balls. 258 00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:33,905 What is this, a p.T.A. Meeting? 259 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,508 Cartman, kenny's in the hospital. 260 00:09:36,942 --> 00:09:39,943 In the hospital, why? 261 00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:41,713 They told us he has a muscular disease. 262 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,750 And that, and that he might die. 263 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,485 Die... kenny? 264 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,486 Don't you say that, kenny's not gonna die. 265 00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:52,124 I'm going to take the boys to go see him at the hospital, eric. 266 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,293 We thought you might want to come. 267 00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:56,262 Yeah, yeah, of course. 268 00:09:56,297 --> 00:09:58,197 Let me get my coat. 269 00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:01,667 There we go, little buddy. 270 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:02,933 Thank you. 271 00:10:02,968 --> 00:10:04,269 You sure you don't want to take your jacket off, 272 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,102 It's pretty warm? 273 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,837 No thanks. 274 00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:08,173 Hey, look who has some visitors. 275 00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:09,873 Ooh, what a lucky little man. 276 00:10:09,908 --> 00:10:12,945 We'll be right outside if you need us, kenny. 277 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,415 Hey, dude, how's it going? 278 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,681 Okay, i guess. 279 00:10:17,716 --> 00:10:20,319 We brought you a present, it's agobo fighter. 280 00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:22,054 Don't tell him what it is, dude. 281 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,355 Sorry. 282 00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,693 Hey, we were all talking about how when you get better 283 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,428 We're all gonna go down to stark's pond again 284 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,729 And go camping, huh, stan? 285 00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,765 I- 286 00:10:37,669 --> 00:10:39,404 Stan, stan! Where you going? 287 00:10:39,838 --> 00:10:40,671 I can't, i just can't. 288 00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,224 Dude, he needs us right now. 289 00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:43,742 I can't see him like that, kyle. 290 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:44,610 All those hoses and wires. 291 00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:45,876 He's a kid, dude, 292 00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,646 He's supposed to be running around and laughing. 293 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,615 I know it's tough, but- Look at me! 294 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,467 I know it's tough, okay, i know. 295 00:10:51,502 --> 00:10:52,827 But we have to be tough right now. 296 00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:54,153 And what are we supposed to do, huh? 297 00:10:54,586 --> 00:10:56,321 Stand in that room and keep making small talk? 298 00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,189 Make believe like everything's okay? 299 00:10:57,623 --> 00:10:58,455 I can't do it! 300 00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,791 Look, however hard you think it is for you, 301 00:11:00,225 --> 00:11:01,093 It's a lot harder for him. 302 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,628 Just leave me alone! 303 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,094 Stan, you can't leave. 304 00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:06,732 I'm not the one who's leaving, he is! 305 00:11:11,069 --> 00:11:12,769 Y'know, it's funny, kenny. 306 00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,540 Stan and kyle have always sort of been 307 00:11:14,575 --> 00:11:15,841 Best friends, y'know. 308 00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:20,179 Well, i don't know if i ever told you this, kenny, but... 309 00:11:20,612 --> 00:11:24,516 I kinda always thought you were my best friend. 310 00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:25,817 I don't know. 311 00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:27,951 Yes, you're my best friend too. 312 00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:31,023 Okay, we're gonna need to give kenny some time to sleep now. 313 00:11:31,456 --> 00:11:32,289 Don't you worry, kenny, 314 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:33,625 I'm gonna find a cure for you. 315 00:11:34,059 --> 00:11:36,228 Everything's gonna be okay. 316 00:11:43,168 --> 00:11:44,001 Cartman? 317 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,337 Oh, kyle, hey. 318 00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,072 What's going down, jew-Boy? 319 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,507 Cartman, were you crying? 320 00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:52,711 No, no, i mean, i, i got something in my eyes. 321 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,012 The air in here is just- 322 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,615 Oh, man. 323 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:57,881 Hey, cartman. 324 00:11:57,916 --> 00:12:02,688 I care a lot about him too. 325 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,027 I'm gonna find a cure, kyle. 326 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,797 I swear to god, i'm gonna find a cure. 327 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,532 Sure you will, cartman. 328 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,267 Sure you will. 329 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,773 This is where the bulk of our stem cell research 330 00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:22,641 Was being done. 331 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:23,907 But due to the government ban 332 00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:25,642 We're mostly just packing things up. 333 00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,846 Doctor, can you tell me exactly how stem cells work? 334 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,466 Look, you have trillions of cells in your body- 335 00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:33,051 Heart cells, skin cells, brain cells and so on. 336 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,353 But before a cell is designated 337 00:12:34,786 --> 00:12:36,955 As a toenail cell or a pancrea cell, 338 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,491 It's what we call a stem cell. 339 00:12:38,526 --> 00:12:39,992 Sort of like a blank cell. 340 00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:41,258 Do you understand? 341 00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:42,993 Not at all, but go on. 342 00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,112 Because these cells are blanks 343 00:12:44,147 --> 00:12:45,197 They will often program themselves 344 00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,799 Based on what cells you put around them. 345 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,101 You see this rat? 346 00:12:49,534 --> 00:12:52,137 Earlier this year we surgically removed the middle of her spine. 347 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,540 Then we injected her with some stem cells and, 348 00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:56,908 They became the missing part of the spine. 349 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,175 My god. 350 00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,945 Nerve cells damaged by parkinson's disease 351 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,680 Or heart tissue of cardiac patients, 352 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:05,584 Might ultimately be replaced by tissue grown from stem cells. 353 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,718 So then, could stem cells be used 354 00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:09,921 On someone whose muscle tissue is wasting away? 355 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,188 In other words 356 00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,391 If a little boy was dying from a muscular disease 357 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,560 The stem cells could become new muscle tissue. 358 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:16,428 That's the theory. 359 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,128 Well so then, 360 00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:20,332 If the stem cells are placed next to ashakey's pizza 361 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,867 They would become another shakey's pizza. 362 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,333 And you'd have your own shakey's pizza 363 00:13:23,368 --> 00:13:25,103 Where you didn't have to charge yourself to eat! 364 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,855 Well, no, to build another shakey's 365 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,573 It would be better to use lumber. 366 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:29,406 Hmm. 367 00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:30,707 But, unfortunately, 368 00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:32,477 The government has banned stem cell research. 369 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,611 And so, we'll never know. 370 00:13:34,646 --> 00:13:35,514 Looks like somebody's gonna have to try 371 00:13:35,947 --> 00:13:38,116 And change the government's mind. 372 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,383 Where are you going? 373 00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:40,719 There's a pretty brave kid fighting his for his life 374 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,454 In the hospital right now, doctor. 375 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:46,358 I'm gonna go get him some bigger boxing gloves. 376 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:47,659 Hey, kid... 377 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:53,298 Give 'em hell. 378 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,866 Oh, doctor. 379 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,503 Thanks... thanks. 380 00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:02,806 Oh, hey, kid. 381 00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:06,311 Good luck... good luck. 382 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,649 Oh, and doctor. 383 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,384 Oh, never mind. 384 00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:17,823 And see, here's one from butters. 385 00:14:18,256 --> 00:14:20,425 It says, "we can't wait to see you back in school, kenny." 386 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,594 And it has a picture of him and you in a little airplane. 387 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,294 Oh, isn't that nice? 388 00:14:24,329 --> 00:14:26,498 You've got lots of friends, don't you, kenny? 389 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,198 Yes... 390 00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:29,101 But what about stan? 391 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:30,367 Stan? 392 00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:31,703 Oh, well, no, there's nothing here from stan. 393 00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,872 But stan's gonna come see you real soon, i bet, kenny. 394 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,572 I hope so. 395 00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:37,342 Hey, look who's here. 396 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,608 Stan?! 397 00:14:38,643 --> 00:14:39,511 Hello, kenny. 398 00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,463 I'm laura jones and this is bob farren. 399 00:14:41,498 --> 00:14:42,981 We're with the make-A-Wish foundation. 400 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,516 Oh, kenny, isn't that nice? 401 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,017 Make-A-Wish foundation? 402 00:14:46,451 --> 00:14:47,753 We travel the country giving special little 403 00:14:48,186 --> 00:14:49,921 Boys and girls like you their biggest wish. 404 00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,223 Neat, huh, kenny? 405 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,090 Yeah. 406 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:54,259 So, kenny, if you could have one wish 407 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,428 What would it be? 408 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,766 What's your wish, pal? 409 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,936 What did he say? 410 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:09,875 He said his wish is not to die. 411 00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:21,586 Okay, and what if you could have two wishes? 412 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,154 What would the second one be? 413 00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:27,659 I know, i bet you'd like to meet madonna, huh? 414 00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:34,131 What was that? 415 00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:35,467 He said madonna's an old anorexic whore 416 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:36,733 Who wore out her welcome years ago. 417 00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:38,503 And that now she suddenly speaks with a british accent 418 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,371 And she thinks she can play the guitar. 419 00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,973 And she should go f- K herself. 420 00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:45,443 Should i come in now? 421 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,179 Uh, not quite yet. 422 00:15:53,685 --> 00:15:54,986 Hello there, children. 423 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:55,819 Hey, chef. 424 00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:57,155 How's it going? 425 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,422 Bad. 426 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,024 Yeah, things have been better, huh? 427 00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:02,794 Why would god let kenny die, chef, why? 428 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,963 Kenny's my f-F-Friend. 429 00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:08,216 Why can't god take someone else's f-F-Friend? 430 00:16:08,251 --> 00:16:11,161 Stan, sometimes god takes those closest to us 431 00:16:11,196 --> 00:16:14,072 Because it makes him feel better about himself. 432 00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:17,073 He's a very vengeful god, stan. 433 00:16:17,108 --> 00:16:19,277 He's all pissed off about something we did 434 00:16:19,711 --> 00:16:21,229 Thousands of years ago. 435 00:16:21,264 --> 00:16:22,712 He just can't get over it. 436 00:16:22,747 --> 00:16:25,315 So he doesn't care who he takes. 437 00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:27,519 Children, puppies- It don't matter to him. 438 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,254 So long as it makes us sad. 439 00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:30,555 Do you understand? 440 00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:32,724 Then why does god give us anything to start with? 441 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:33,990 Well, look at it this way. 442 00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:35,725 If you want to make a baby cry, 443 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,797 First you give it a lollipop, then you take it away. 444 00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:41,399 If you never give it a lollipop to begin with 445 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,568 Then you would have nothing to cry about. 446 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,870 That's like god, 447 00:16:45,303 --> 00:16:47,437 Who gives us life and love and help 448 00:16:47,472 --> 00:16:50,725 Just so he can tear it all away and make us cry. 449 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,979 So he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. 450 00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:57,032 You see, it's our tears, stan, 451 00:16:57,067 --> 00:17:00,051 That give god his great power. 452 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,522 I think i understand. 453 00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:08,692 My name is eric cartman and i live in colorado. 454 00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,896 My best friend in the whole world is kenny mccormack 455 00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:13,064 And he's sick right now. 456 00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,366 He's real sick. 457 00:17:14,799 --> 00:17:15,667 He's only eight years old 458 00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:17,836 And the doctors don't think he has very long to live. 459 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,403 Look, i realize that using the tissue 460 00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:24,342 From aborted fetuses for research is a touchy subject, 461 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,613 But, all i know is that if there's a chance, a chance, 462 00:17:27,648 --> 00:17:31,200 That stem cell research could save my best friend's life, 463 00:17:31,235 --> 00:17:34,753 Well, i guess i owe it to him to try to change your minds. 464 00:17:35,186 --> 00:17:38,657 I love kenny mccormack and... 465 00:17:39,524 --> 00:17:42,561 I want you to love him too. 466 00:17:42,994 --> 00:17:45,996 I'm sorry, i'm not the best speaker in the world. 467 00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:52,537 Maybe i could put it best in the words of a timeless song. 468 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,441 ? It was the heat of the moment? 469 00:17:56,875 --> 00:18:00,310 ? Telling me what your heart meant? 470 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:06,418 ? The heat of the moment shone in your eyes? 471 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:10,322 ? I never meant to be so bad to you? 472 00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:14,624 ? One thing i said that i would never do? 473 00:18:14,659 --> 00:18:18,563 ? One look from you and i would fall from grace? 474 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,166 ? And that would wipe the smile? 475 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,335 ? Right from my face? 476 00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:28,106 ? Do you remember when we used to dance? 477 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,810 ? And incidents arose from circumstance? 478 00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:36,699 ? One thing led to another we were young? 479 00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:41,553 ? And we would scream together songs unsung? 480 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:45,257 ? It was the heat of the moment? 481 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,892 ? Telling me what your heart meant? 482 00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:54,566 ? The heat of the moment shone in your eyes? 483 00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:00,503 And so you see, now that the ban 484 00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:01,805 On stem cell research has been lifted 485 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,442 We can sell your fetus to companies like alder labs. 486 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,709 Oh, i don't know. 487 00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:08,780 Look, i can offer you $75 for that fetus right now, jill. 488 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,480 $75? Well, all right. 489 00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:12,684 Great, just sign right here, please. 490 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,384 Hi, having an abortion today? 491 00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:16,588 Great, listen, if you'd like to sell your abortion for research 492 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,288 I'm offering $75. 493 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,925 Help out a little bit with your medical bill in there. 494 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,227 Why don't you sign right there. 495 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,493 Excuse me, ma'am, 496 00:19:23,528 --> 00:19:24,829 Can i interest you in selling your aborted fetus? 497 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,564 We're not going to the abortion clinic. 498 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:27,432 I'm gonna have this baby. 499 00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:28,733 Oh, i'm sorry to hear that, 500 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,902 Because there's a little boy dying in a hospital right now 501 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,637 Who could sure use that baby more than you could. 502 00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:34,806 The stem cells from your fetus could help save his life. 503 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,409 Oh, well, i guess we can always 504 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,710 Just make another one. 505 00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:40,445 Oh, mark, i love you. 506 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,711 All right! 507 00:19:41,746 --> 00:19:43,915 Now kenny has a fighting chance. 508 00:19:47,385 --> 00:19:48,687 Young man, do you know where you're going? 509 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,638 Yeah, i'm gonna see my friend 510 00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:52,157 Because he needs me right now. 511 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,423 All right! 512 00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:56,061 Go, kid, good for you. 513 00:19:58,663 --> 00:20:00,398 Hey, kenny. 514 00:20:05,603 --> 00:20:07,338 Oh, no. 515 00:20:07,772 --> 00:20:09,906 No. 516 00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:13,411 He just, he just stopped breathing. 517 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,678 And it was over. 518 00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:18,183 But... i didn't get to see him. 519 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:21,653 Kyle, i didn't get to say good-Bye. 520 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,990 Did he say anything before he went? 521 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,176 He just said... 522 00:20:28,211 --> 00:20:30,328 "Where's stan?" 523 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,402 And so, we will all miss kenny- 524 00:20:39,437 --> 00:20:42,474 His playful laughter, his innocent smile. 525 00:20:42,907 --> 00:20:46,377 But we will never forget that it was because of brave kenny 526 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,848 That stem cell research was allowed to continue. 527 00:20:50,281 --> 00:20:51,149 I let kenny down. 528 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,318 I'm his worst f- F-Friend. 529 00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:55,053 You guys, come quick! 530 00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,319 What, cartman? 531 00:20:56,354 --> 00:20:59,390 It's- Why, it's a miracle, you guys! 532 00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:02,861 What, cartman, what's happened? 533 00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:04,994 Look. 534 00:21:05,029 --> 00:21:06,765 I put the stem cells from all the fetuses i had 535 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,031 Next to shakey's. 536 00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:10,668 And theyarereplicating a new shakey's. 537 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,368 It worked! 538 00:21:12,403 --> 00:21:13,670 This whole time 539 00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:15,006 You were just using kenny's illness 540 00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:16,541 To lift the ban on stem cell research 541 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,610 So you could sell your stupid fetuses? 542 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,645 Stupid fetuses?! It's my own shakey's. 543 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,946 I actually hugged you. 544 00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:24,514 I held you in my arms and cried with you. 545 00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,284 I figure i only need 100 or so more aborted babies 546 00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:28,019 And i can finish up the kitchen. 547 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,285 Aaah! 548 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,404 Ahh, kyle! 549 00:21:30,439 --> 00:21:31,489 Kyle! 550 00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:33,658 Hey, i wasn't kenny's worst f-F-Friend. 551 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:35,393 Cartman was. 552 00:21:36,694 --> 00:21:39,297 Captioning made possible by comedy central 553 00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:41,900 Captioned by soundwriters™