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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:43,103
Okay Mister Thompson,
voting line is right over there.
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00:00:43,642 --> 00:00:46,421
- Next, please.
- Mom?
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00:00:46,587 --> 00:00:49,487
Mommy?
Where's my mommy?
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00:00:49,612 --> 00:00:52,651
Oh dear,
did you lose your mother, little boy?
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00:00:52,972 --> 00:00:55,520
- Mom!
- Security!
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00:00:57,014 --> 00:01:00,559
- Huh?
- This little boy lost his mom!
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00:01:00,684 --> 00:01:04,325
She said to wait for her
by the plastic boxes if I got lost!
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00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:06,854
It's alright come on.
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00:01:21,052 --> 00:01:23,804
Mom, where's my mom?
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00:01:23,929 --> 00:01:26,920
Oh dear, did you lose your mommy,
little boy?
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Would you like some warm nuts, sir?
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Ha ha haa! Warm nuts she says!
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Mom!
I lost my mom!
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Warm nuts, sir?
Warm nuts?
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No way, dude.
No way.
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00:02:01,459 --> 00:02:04,791
Mom!
I can't find my mom!
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- You like warm nuts, sir?
- Ahah! Okay, okay, it's getting old.
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00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,372
Mom!
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Mom!
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The people have spoken
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and the President of the United States
is once again, Barack Obama.
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I assure you all that I am
heading back to the White House
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00:02:35,477 --> 00:02:39,076
more motivated,
more titillated than ever.
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Don't be sad, ike.
Just be happy that you live in a
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country where people get to
elect a president at all.
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- Hello?
- Hey, Kyle, what's up?
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Nothing,
watching the election results.
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Yeah, I figured.
It's the day after the election
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so you're probably sitting on
the couch telling your little
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00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:58,011
brother how great it is to
live in a Democratic society.
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00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:00,778
Listen, Kyle, could you come over
for a second.
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I've got something
I need to show you.
34
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,487
- What?
- Please, Kyle.
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00:03:03,612 --> 00:03:05,268
It's kind of important.
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Alright,
what is this all about, Fat Ass?
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You happy with the election
results last night, Kyle?
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It doesn't matter if I am or not.
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00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,611
People voted and I stand
behind the President.
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00:03:15,024 --> 00:03:17,237
Oh, it's such a Democratic
thing to say, Kyle.
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00:03:17,362 --> 00:03:18,772
What if I were to tell you...
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00:03:18,897 --> 00:03:22,160
that I have something in my room
that could change the entire election?
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00:03:22,326 --> 00:03:24,454
- Sure you do.
- What if I did, Kyle?
44
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,243
What could you possibly
have in your room
45
00:03:26,368 --> 00:03:27,791
that could change
the outcome of the election?
46
00:03:34,453 --> 00:03:35,841
Pretty sweet, huh?
47
00:03:36,235 --> 00:03:37,481
What the hell is this?
48
00:03:37,606 --> 00:03:38,468
What's it look like?
49
00:03:38,634 --> 00:03:41,388
Hundreds of thousands of votes
from all the swing states.
50
00:03:41,803 --> 00:03:42,889
I don't believe it.
51
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:44,761
No, really,
there are states full of swingers.
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Bunch of perverts if you ask me.
53
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Why do you have these?
54
00:03:47,643 --> 00:03:49,547
Funny how voting works in this country,
isn't it, Kyle.
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Each one of these a person...
someone who took the time to get
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00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:56,206
themselves informed,
actually got up and drove to a voting
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00:03:56,331 --> 00:03:57,904
area to make sure
their voice was heard.
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00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:02,211
Dude!
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00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:04,253
Here's another patriotic American.
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00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,855
He probably spent hours listening
to all those presidential ads
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00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,417
and tuned in to every debate.
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00:04:09,373 --> 00:04:10,267
Knock it off, Cartman!
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00:04:10,392 --> 00:04:12,836
Now believe it or not, Kyle.
I actually need your help.
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00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,160
But first,
you have to promise not to tell anyone.
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00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:17,103
You're not getting away with this,
you fat turd!!
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00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,995
Run now, little firefly.
It's all part of the plan.
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00:04:31,723 --> 00:04:34,942
Sweetie, there's a Mr. Pun Lee Tsao
on the phone for you.
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Thanks Mom.
I'll take that... in the study.
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00:04:38,006 --> 00:04:40,218
Do I have a study?
I don't think I have a study.
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00:04:40,343 --> 00:04:41,531
That's fine.
71
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,661
Mr. President.
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00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:47,464
Yes.
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00:04:47,589 --> 00:04:49,548
Line two from China for you, sir.
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00:04:49,673 --> 00:04:51,416
It's General Tsao.
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Yes, hello, General.
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00:04:54,710 --> 00:04:58,048
We presume you are pleased
with the election results?
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Very pleased.
Thank you for your help.
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00:05:00,549 --> 00:05:04,554
And you, no doubt, will now begin
filling your side of the bargain.
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00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,300
You'll have what you want.
I'll meet you in three hours.
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00:05:09,262 --> 00:05:11,567
Sir, the election may have gone
the way they said,
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00:05:11,692 --> 00:05:14,731
but we can't possibly give
the Chinese what you promised.
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00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:18,169
I don't know how they did it
but the Chinese secured my victory.
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I have to fulfill my obligation.
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00:05:20,392 --> 00:05:22,632
And what if General Tsao
suddenly gets the courage
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to go to the press with all this?
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Don't worry.
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Everyone knows General Tsao's chicken.
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00:05:34,596 --> 00:05:35,585
Eric Cartman?
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00:05:35,751 --> 00:05:38,880
We have a report you might
be involved in voter fraud.
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00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,505
Mmm, no.
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00:05:40,881 --> 00:05:42,592
You mind if we search your room?
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00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:44,299
I'm sorry, but I know my rights.
93
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You can't search my room
without a warrant,
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00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:47,722
and I'm afraid I can't
give you permission.
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00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:49,402
This isn't a joke, Cartman!
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00:05:49,527 --> 00:05:50,896
You have to believe me, Officer,
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the outcome of the election
depends on it.
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00:05:52,816 --> 00:05:54,104
Let's just see.
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00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,689
Hey!
You can't do that!
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00:05:56,504 --> 00:05:58,108
Upstairs!
First door on the left!
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I know my rights!
Stop right now!
102
00:06:05,808 --> 00:06:08,285
But... they were here.
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I swear it!
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Stacks and stacks of ballots
from states all over the country!
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00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:16,167
I was always told that we lived
in a country based on freedom.
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That the one thing that made
America different was
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that the government could never barge
into our lives unwarranted.
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00:06:20,623 --> 00:06:22,088
But it's all changing, isn't it?
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Ever since Obama was first elected,
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it's all changing.
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Oh my God, what have we done?
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I guess this country is changing.
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We're sorry, little boy.
We're so sorry.
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Please, you've got to believe me!
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They've still got to
be here somewhere!
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We have to find them!
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But where could they be?
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Where?
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And why would I care so much
about the election results?
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So many questions, Kyle.
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So little time.
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Guys! You guys!
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Listen,
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Cartman has tens of thousands
of voter ballots hidden somewhere!
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He's changed the outcome of
the election!
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Wow, really.
That's pretty impressive.
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00:07:03,672 --> 00:07:06,267
Come on you guys, he's hid them
somewhere we have to find them.
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00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:08,498
But I thought Obama won
pretty easily last night.
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00:07:08,623 --> 00:07:10,034
Dude, because of the electoral college
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00:07:10,159 --> 00:07:11,980
these votes in swing states
can really matter!
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00:07:12,105 --> 00:07:13,498
I don't understand that stuff at all.
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00:07:13,623 --> 00:07:15,044
I need Morgan Freeman
to explain it to me.
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00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:17,437
Yeah, I love when Morgan Freeman
explains stuff.
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00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,712
Whenever I'm confused about
what's going on in a movie
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00:07:19,837 --> 00:07:23,271
I'm always so relieved when Morgan Freeman
shows up and explains the plot to me.
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God dammit,
this is serious, you guys!
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Cartman has stolen the election!
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00:07:26,964 --> 00:07:28,784
Well, maybe Cartman had a good reason.
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00:07:30,598 --> 00:07:33,261
Butters, you know something,
don't you? Huh?
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00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:34,704
Uh, no!
Why?
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00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:37,073
- What did Cartman tell you?!
- He didn't tell me nothing!
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And I swore to secrecy!
It's really important, Kyle,
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00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:41,064
and it isn't what you think.
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00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:44,255
- Don't make me say any more.
- Tell us what you know, right now.
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00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:46,067
I can't, don't you see?
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00:07:48,053 --> 00:07:50,553
Don't make me swallow this!
I'll do it!
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00:07:51,068 --> 00:07:53,094
- Is that an M&M?
- It's an almond M&M!
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00:07:53,219 --> 00:07:55,544
I'm very allergic to almonds!
Please!
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00:07:55,669 --> 00:07:56,893
Just leave me alone!
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Then you have to tell us.
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00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,909
Well... huh...
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00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,598
Oh, shit!
Don't let him swallow it!
153
00:08:05,723 --> 00:08:07,821
- Pry his mouth open!
- He ate it!
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00:08:08,307 --> 00:08:09,675
Butters,
where are the ballots going?
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00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:10,824
Where are they going?
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00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,449
I... I... I hate almonds.
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- More melted butter, sir?
- Mmm, mmm.
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Little boy,
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the President is on his way
to pick up the ballots.
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00:08:37,545 --> 00:08:38,476
Where are they?
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00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,452
They're nearby.
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00:08:40,577 --> 00:08:41,783
Very safe and sound.
163
00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:45,150
I just might want to
alter our deal a lite bit.
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00:08:46,365 --> 00:08:47,763
Alter our...
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00:08:47,888 --> 00:08:50,488
the President will be here in moments
with what we want!
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00:08:50,654 --> 00:08:53,491
Yeah, tell me again exactly
what you plan on doing with it.
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00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:55,491
Oh my God, it's the President!
168
00:08:57,430 --> 00:08:59,527
- The President!
- Congratulations, sir!
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00:08:59,891 --> 00:09:02,614
Thank you, thank you all
for your votes of confidence.
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00:09:02,969 --> 00:09:04,629
If I could just be a little rude
171
00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:07,171
and ask to have a nice
quiet meal in private?
172
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:08,565
Oh, of course!
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00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:10,754
Come on, let's let the President
have some peace and quiet!
174
00:09:10,879 --> 00:09:13,274
Wow,
the President eats at Red Lobster!
175
00:09:13,399 --> 00:09:15,133
He's just a normal guy like me!
176
00:09:15,258 --> 00:09:16,973
Come on, guys!
President says get out!
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00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,360
I didn't actually vote for him. Huh.
178
00:09:23,570 --> 00:09:24,571
Alright.
179
00:09:24,926 --> 00:09:26,081
Where are the ballots?
180
00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:34,603
{pub}Your friend has had
a severe allergic reaction.
181
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,442
Can we please just
try and talk to him?
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00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,703
Alright, but don't take too long.
183
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,904
Butters, you have to tell
us what Cartman is up to.
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00:09:46,195 --> 00:09:48,350
I didn't want to have to do this,
but if you don't tell us,
185
00:09:48,475 --> 00:09:51,424
I'm gonna tell your dad you helped get
the wrong person elected president.
186
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,718
No!
Please, you can't!
187
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,428
Then just tell me
what Cartman is up to!
188
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:56,980
Okay! Okay!
189
00:09:57,217 --> 00:09:59,326
(he burbles something incomprehensible)
190
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:01,046
What'd he say?
191
00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:03,393
(incomprehensible)
192
00:10:03,518 --> 00:10:04,286
Oh.
193
00:10:04,411 --> 00:10:07,106
What do you mean the election isn't the
biggest thing that happened this week?
194
00:10:07,272 --> 00:10:10,026
(incomprehensible)
195
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:10,883
What?
196
00:10:11,008 --> 00:10:13,211
(incomprehensible)
197
00:10:13,336 --> 00:10:14,935
You mean the missile defense program?
198
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:18,117
Butters, where is Cartman
supposed to hand over the ballots?
199
00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:19,744
At Red Lobster.
200
00:10:20,872 --> 00:10:21,914
At Red Lobster.
201
00:10:22,661 --> 00:10:23,373
Where?
202
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,874
Red Lobster.
203
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,961
- Huh?
- He said, at r-r-red...
204
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,379
Red Lobster!
205
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,172
- Red Lobster!
- What?
206
00:10:31,484 --> 00:10:33,049
R-r-r-red, r-r-r-red...
207
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,384
Red Lobster!
208
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,624
Red Lobster!
209
00:10:35,749 --> 00:10:37,142
Oh, Red Lobster.
210
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:41,307
General Tsao,
do you have the missing ballots or not?
211
00:10:41,939 --> 00:10:43,232
Sure, we have the ballots.
212
00:10:43,357 --> 00:10:46,771
But we don't have them right
here with us now.
213
00:10:48,661 --> 00:10:52,026
Okay, you want me to come in again,
we can start over. What the fuck is this?
214
00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:54,340
Alright!
Where are the missing ballots?!
215
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:55,744
President Obama?
216
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,491
Oh, God dammit, Kyle,
I was just about to get what I wanted!
217
00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,655
Mr. President, we got you re-elected.
218
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:03,237
Now you will give us
the Star Wars technology
219
00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:05,039
so that we can make the sequels!
220
00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:08,465
I told you China would get
the rights to Star Wars from Disney
221
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:10,814
as long as my presidency was secure.
222
00:11:10,939 --> 00:11:13,380
Until I have those
ballots it is not secure.
223
00:11:13,505 --> 00:11:16,738
Wait a minute.
The rights to "Star Wars," the movies?
224
00:11:16,863 --> 00:11:18,249
What the hell is going on here?
225
00:11:18,374 --> 00:11:22,010
What's going on is the sale
of America's greatest asset.
226
00:11:23,544 --> 00:11:26,833
You see, when the United States
created Star Wars
227
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,619
it made this country
incredibly powerful.
228
00:11:30,134 --> 00:11:31,524
Morgan Freeman?
229
00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:36,215
Earlier this week, Lucas signed
the rights to Star Wars over to Disney,
230
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:39,595
and the Chinese saw a way
to obtain it for themselves.
231
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,917
The Chinese government knew
that President Obama would help them
232
00:11:43,042 --> 00:11:46,414
take the rights from Disney
if they helped him get re-elected.
233
00:11:47,064 --> 00:11:48,065
Oh.
234
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:51,638
But the child who actually stole
the ballots has hidden them
235
00:11:51,763 --> 00:11:54,975
and won't give them to anyone until
his demands are met.
236
00:11:55,766 --> 00:11:58,113
You've all got quite
a mess on your hands.
237
00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,134
I wish you well with it.
238
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,306
Just one thing Morgan Freeman.
239
00:12:04,028 --> 00:12:06,893
How come every time something convoluted
needs explaining, you show up?
240
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:11,064
Because every time I show up
and explain something, I earn a freckle.
241
00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,696
So here's the deal, General Tsao.
Mr. President.
242
00:12:18,862 --> 00:12:20,507
When the Chinese make the sequels,
243
00:12:20,896 --> 00:12:23,188
I get to play the part
of Luke Skywalker's son.
244
00:12:23,439 --> 00:12:25,078
Cartman Skywalker.
245
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,665
That was not the deal!
We will not be bullied by you!
246
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:32,921
Well, then I guess we're about
to play a game of chicken, General Tsao.
247
00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:40,090
I get it.
General Tsao's ch-chi-chicken.
248
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,876
You are absolutely sure about this?
249
00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:46,441
It's been confirmed, Mike.
My God, we may have won this thing.
250
00:12:47,477 --> 00:12:48,377
Sir?
251
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:51,062
Sir, we have some incredible news.
252
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:54,280
There are rumors of hundreds
of thousands of stolen ballots.
253
00:12:54,405 --> 00:12:56,752
You might have won
the election after all
254
00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:04,649
There's nothing here, Kyle.
255
00:13:04,774 --> 00:13:06,160
Anything in the basement, Jimmy?
256
00:13:06,326 --> 00:13:08,588
Just old junk and boxes
of Eric's mom's dildos.
257
00:13:08,713 --> 00:13:09,664
Well, keep looking!
258
00:13:10,802 --> 00:13:12,710
Oh, my goodness, what's going on?
259
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:13,585
Sorry, Ms. Cartman,
260
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,581
but your son took some things
that didn't belong to him.
261
00:13:15,706 --> 00:13:19,164
I've told him to respect people's property.
What did he take?
262
00:13:19,289 --> 00:13:20,567
He stole ballots
in all the swing states
263
00:13:20,692 --> 00:13:22,073
so the wrong person
was elected president.
264
00:13:22,198 --> 00:13:24,948
Oh, well,
no TV for him for a few days.
265
00:13:25,579 --> 00:13:28,808
There's nothing here, Kyle.
Not even one Scooby clue.
266
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,949
Oh, my God, you guys!
Look!
267
00:13:34,299 --> 00:13:36,232
Dude, it's Boba Fett's ship!
268
00:13:49,331 --> 00:13:51,664
Just what the Dickens
is going on here, ha ha?
269
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,374
Oh shit, it's him again.
270
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:55,815
What's this about
a deal with the Chinese?!
271
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:58,003
I own all this shit now!
272
00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:02,566
I own the death star,
I own Tatooine, it's all mine.
273
00:14:03,795 --> 00:14:04,899
Alright, fuckers.
274
00:14:05,024 --> 00:14:06,870
Where are the missing ballots?
275
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:11,850
Butters.
276
00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:15,342
You just couldn't keep your mouth shut,
could you, Butters?
277
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:17,732
I didn't say anything!
I promise.
278
00:14:18,132 --> 00:14:20,985
I guess we learned that when it comes
to Star Wars we can't trust anyone.
279
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:24,238
Not the president, not the Chinese.
And not you.
280
00:14:24,404 --> 00:14:27,074
Please, Eric!
I tried to be quiet, I swear!
281
00:14:27,323 --> 00:14:28,785
Shhhh, it's okay, Butters.
282
00:14:29,162 --> 00:14:31,140
Nobody's going to find
the election ballots.
283
00:14:31,265 --> 00:14:34,683
I have them hidden away,
somewhere nobody would ever look.
284
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:39,143
A place in town people
barely even know exists.
285
00:14:43,102 --> 00:14:46,093
Hey, guys!
Lookin' to buy a Hummer today?
286
00:14:46,663 --> 00:14:50,389
We're having a Rocktober sales
event that's goin' into Rockvember.
287
00:14:55,746 --> 00:14:56,776
Hey, there!
288
00:14:56,901 --> 00:14:59,148
Interested in test driving
a Hummer today?
289
00:15:00,089 --> 00:15:03,686
I can see you... the Ray Bans,
got that nice bicep hanging out
290
00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:05,863
the window rolled down.
What do you think?
291
00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:15,164
Rockvember sales event, guys!
Every Hummer comes with a free Segway.
292
00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:17,701
Hey, why don't you shut up?
293
00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:20,784
Just excited about these deals,
that's all.
294
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:39,438
We found him, sir.
But still no sign of the missing ballots.
295
00:15:39,604 --> 00:15:41,774
Go on, leave us alone.
296
00:15:43,547 --> 00:15:44,929
Now listen, little boy,
297
00:15:45,054 --> 00:15:49,046
the reason this country works is
because people go out and vote.
298
00:15:49,351 --> 00:15:52,038
- Every vote counts, and...
- Cut the crap, Mouse.
299
00:15:52,163 --> 00:15:53,900
You only care about
the election results because
300
00:15:54,025 --> 00:15:55,788
Romney would have been tougher
on the Chinese.
301
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:58,451
Why don't you just tell me
where the missing ballots are?
302
00:15:58,576 --> 00:16:01,225
It'll make your death
a lot less painful, ha, ha.
303
00:16:01,466 --> 00:16:04,566
Trust me, they're somewhere
nobody will ever find them.
304
00:16:05,386 --> 00:16:07,746
If you kill me then Obama will
stay president and you'll lose
305
00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:09,634
Star Wars to the Chinese forever.
306
00:16:14,101 --> 00:16:16,963
Pretty neat, huh?
How would you like to have one?
307
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,655
I can get those at Kmart.
If you want me to switch sides
308
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,648
you'll have to do better than that.
309
00:16:23,479 --> 00:16:26,391
- Like what?
- I want a part in the new movies.
310
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,911
Well, then, why didn't you just
come to me in the first place?
311
00:16:30,036 --> 00:16:33,075
If you wanna be in the next
Star Wars, I'm your guy.
312
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:35,196
I get to be Luke Skywalker's son.
313
00:16:35,321 --> 00:16:37,496
And there has to be
a character called Jewbacca!
314
00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:39,910
You can be Luke's son,
you can be Han Solo's son,
315
00:16:40,035 --> 00:16:41,959
I don't give two shits in a ****.
316
00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:42,673
Really?
317
00:16:42,798 --> 00:16:45,227
Well, then,
I suppose that making the votes public
318
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:46,720
is the right thing to do.
319
00:16:46,845 --> 00:16:48,252
I can get the ballots for you.
320
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:51,465
But if I'm gonna smuggle them here,
I'm gonna need a blaster and a Tonton.
321
00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:55,161
Sure thing!
I got a Tonton coming up my asshole. Haha.
322
00:16:55,286 --> 00:16:56,592
- Haha!
- Haha!
323
00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:57,370
Hehe.
324
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,024
This is Breaking Election News!
325
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,618
Hold that phone!
326
00:17:02,743 --> 00:17:05,580
The election may be over,
but rumors are running rampant
327
00:17:05,705 --> 00:17:09,153
that hundreds of thousands of ballots
for Mitt Romney were stolen.
328
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,153
We need everyone's help here.
What you're looking for are big
329
00:17:12,278 --> 00:17:13,689
boxes of ballots, hundreds of them.
330
00:17:13,814 --> 00:17:15,548
Please check your basements,
your attics.
331
00:17:15,673 --> 00:17:22,003
And you claim that a General Tsao hired
your friend Fat Ass to steal the ballots.
332
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:24,848
But so far the Chinese are
refusing to speak with us.
333
00:17:24,973 --> 00:17:27,245
Yeah, well,
probably because General Tsao's chicken.
334
00:17:29,454 --> 00:17:31,092
Is that it?
Did he just... did he just...
335
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:34,261
Yes, Chris we are getting confirmation
that was the millionth time!
336
00:17:34,427 --> 00:17:37,853
Excitement and revelry in South Park
as a little boy has just
337
00:17:37,978 --> 00:17:41,514
made the General Tsao's chicken
joke for the one millionth time!
338
00:17:41,639 --> 00:17:43,798
- What?
- Little boy, the General Tsao's chicken joke,
339
00:17:43,923 --> 00:17:47,269
a favorite for years, you've just
hit the magic number how's it feel?
340
00:17:48,157 --> 00:17:49,864
I... what?
341
00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:52,308
He's being presented the check now.
342
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:55,116
A five thousand dollar gift
certificate to PF Chang's.
343
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,922
This has been a long campaign
but someone's finally done it, wolf.
344
00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:03,322
Well, we tried dude.
345
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:06,002
It just seems so unfair.
346
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:09,069
People won't ever even know that
the wrong man is in the White House.
347
00:18:09,751 --> 00:18:11,359
Well, I mean, look at it this way.
348
00:18:11,484 --> 00:18:13,878
Almost half the country did
actually vote for Obama.
349
00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:16,630
If the election really just came
down to a bunch of boxes Cartman stole,
350
00:18:16,755 --> 00:18:18,274
then, does it matter that much?
351
00:18:18,399 --> 00:18:20,746
It matters, Stan.
It matters.
352
00:18:24,352 --> 00:18:26,390
Come on down to Stephenson Hammer
353
00:18:26,515 --> 00:18:29,358
for our big Christmas
in Humvember sale!
354
00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:32,028
Not sure what to get
your loved one this holiday season?
355
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,962
Why not give them a nice Hummer?
356
00:18:34,087 --> 00:18:36,532
Nothing beats a Hummer
on Christmas morning!
357
00:18:37,853 --> 00:18:41,098
Stan... when's the last time you saw
somebody drive a Hummer?
358
00:18:41,692 --> 00:18:44,541
Uh, forever ago.
Like 2010.
359
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:46,542
Oh my God.
360
00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:51,297
Hey! Looking for a Hummer today?
361
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,470
Got some 2009s here.
362
00:18:53,843 --> 00:18:57,421
Never been driven... ever.
363
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,562
Go on, get outta here.
Shoo!
364
00:19:02,138 --> 00:19:05,102
- Look! There they are!
- Hey! Hi there!
365
00:19:05,643 --> 00:19:08,625
You kids like hummers, huh?
Lemme show you these babies!
366
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:10,333
We found it, you guys!
367
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,485
Oh, no!
They followed us!
368
00:19:16,696 --> 00:19:19,867
Oh hell yes! Asians!
Hey guys!
369
00:19:20,274 --> 00:19:22,203
- Get out of our way.
- No!
370
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,997
These don't belong to you.
They belong to the people!
371
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:29,651
I am tired of playing games!
This little farce is over!
372
00:19:31,811 --> 00:19:35,351
I don't think so, General Tsao.
This way, Officers!!
373
00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:41,764
Oh my God, it's a sales rush!
374
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,432
Oh my God.
375
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,769
Are those what I think they are?
376
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:50,481
Yes, we must show these to the public
for democracy's sake! Right, Kyle?
377
00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:54,944
Sir, we found something.
At the Hummer sales lot outside of town.
378
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:56,706
You don't understand!
379
00:19:57,011 --> 00:20:00,616
We are trying to protect
the greatest film series ever made!
380
00:20:00,925 --> 00:20:01,951
Protect it?
381
00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:03,900
What the hell is going on here?
382
00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:06,455
Perhaps I can explain it to you.
383
00:20:10,213 --> 00:20:12,088
You see, it turns out
384
00:20:12,213 --> 00:20:16,193
the only reason the Chinese
so desperately wanted Star Wars
385
00:20:16,618 --> 00:20:21,254
is because they're afraid that Disney
might not be the right place for it.
386
00:20:21,794 --> 00:20:26,851
The Chinese simply want to guard
Star Wars' impeccable legacy.
387
00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:28,811
Is that Morgan Freeman?
388
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,950
And now we are at a crossroads.
389
00:20:31,075 --> 00:20:32,853
If these ballots are made public
390
00:20:32,978 --> 00:20:36,435
then the man that people
voted for will be president,
391
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:40,186
but he will no doubt
keep Star Wars from the Chinese
392
00:20:40,508 --> 00:20:42,780
and allow Disney to keep it instead.
393
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,893
And so we have to ask ourselves:
394
00:20:46,018 --> 00:20:47,386
What's more important?
395
00:20:47,863 --> 00:20:50,273
That the right man is elected president,
396
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,318
or that Star Wars is
with people who will protect it most?
397
00:21:02,466 --> 00:21:04,983
Unit four, what is it? Over?
398
00:21:05,108 --> 00:21:06,393
Well, kid?
399
00:21:06,518 --> 00:21:09,393
Well, if you put it that way.
400
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:12,988
Come in! Unit four, come in!
What have you found?
401
00:21:14,018 --> 00:21:15,198
Nothing, sir.
402
00:21:15,323 --> 00:21:18,594
We just found some tremendous deals
on cars nobody wants, that's all.
403
00:21:18,719 --> 00:21:19,653
Barkley, out.
404
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:26,785
No! But Obama wasn't really elected.
Don't you people care?!
405
00:21:38,378 --> 00:21:41,634
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com