1
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,637
Put more clay on the balls.

2
00:00:52,247 --> 00:00:54,024
Boys! What is that?

3
00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:56,073
A reindeer?

4
00:00:56,112 --> 00:00:59,862
You know, I've had it! You four boys never take art class seriously!

5
00:01:00,118 --> 00:01:00,770
What a crime.

6
00:01:02,502 --> 00:01:04,070
You think art is not important?

7
00:01:04,255 --> 00:01:06,219
Weelll, art is just kinda... for gaywads.

8
00:01:06,626 --> 00:01:07,543
I love our class!

9
00:01:07,807 --> 00:01:08,396
See?

10
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:12,539
Do you think this is funny?!
Do you think this is funny, huh?!

11
00:01:17,098 --> 00:01:21,215
Well, you four can just spend your afternoon
after school here making new pottery!

12
00:01:23,401 --> 00:01:24,136
You can't do that!

13
00:01:24,194 --> 00:01:25,873
I certainly can! I'm your teacher!

14
00:01:26,162 --> 00:01:27,183
You're an art teacher!

15
00:01:27,183 --> 00:01:28,251
Make it two hours!

16
00:01:30,889 --> 00:01:32,190
Mrs. Dreible thinks she's so cool!

17
00:01:32,268 --> 00:01:33,686
How dare she talk to us like that?!

18
00:01:34,038 --> 00:01:34,893
(Yeah, how the fuck is that?!)

19
00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:38,945
We can't let her get away with this!
I think tonight we need to do something drastic.

20
00:01:39,522 --> 00:01:40,203
Like what?

21
00:01:40,204 --> 00:01:45,437
Like find out where Mrs. Dreible lives, and go over there, and... TP her house.

22
00:01:47,167 --> 00:01:47,753
(Yeah!)

23
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:48,618
TP her house?

24
00:01:48,686 --> 00:01:50,214
Toilet paper! Cover her house in toilet paper.

25
00:01:50,494 --> 00:01:51,511
Oh.

26
00:01:52,059 --> 00:01:53,361
What's the matter, Kyle? You chicken? Ugh!

27
00:01:56,718 --> 00:01:59,823
Quiet, boys. This isn't playtime, you're being punished!

28
00:02:01,071 --> 00:02:03,483
Fine! But we'll have the last laugh tonight, artwhore!

29
00:02:03,534 --> 00:02:05,762
Yeah! Payback time, you ugly skank!

30
00:02:12,887 --> 00:02:13,956
D'you think that's enough?

31
00:02:14,071 --> 00:02:14,706
Should be fine.

32
00:02:14,707 --> 00:02:17,985
Don't you guys think this is a little suspicious?
We should buy something else so it doesn't look obvious.

33
00:02:18,279 --> 00:02:20,734
Okay. Here we go, pack of chewing gum.

34
00:02:22,045 --> 00:02:23,496
Hello boys. Find everything you need?

35
00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:24,650
Yep. All set.

36
00:02:25,222 --> 00:02:31,624
Mokay, let's see here. Toilet paper Toilet paper...

37
00:02:31,625 --> 00:02:33,815
So, what are you kids up to tonight?

38
00:02:34,045 --> 00:02:36,288
Oh, we're just gonna watch some TV, maybe play a board game.

39
00:02:36,681 --> 00:02:41,056
Nice relaxing night at home, huh? Toilet paper Toilet paper

40
00:02:41,858 --> 00:02:46,393
Eh, hey. Now you kids be careful with this
chewing gum.Don't go sticking it under tables.

41
00:02:46,892 --> 00:02:47,451
Okay.

42
00:02:47,551 --> 00:02:51,719
Okay. Toilet paper Toilet paper Tooilet paper..

43
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:55,402
You know, son, I rmember you comin' in last week and buying this much toilet paper.

44
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,669
Heh yeah, that that's right.

45
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,861
You TP'ed a house last week, Cartman?

46
00:03:00,983 --> 00:03:02,630
No. Last Thursday night was fajitas night.

47
00:03:10,093 --> 00:03:11,078
Is this the right house?

48
00:03:11,289 --> 00:03:14,732
It's the right address-wait! Look there!
There's Mrs. Dreible! This is the place.

49
00:03:17,119 --> 00:03:18,429
Oh wait, wait, there's kids inside.

50
00:03:18,877 --> 00:03:19,541
So?

51
00:03:19,543 --> 00:03:21,095
So we're not TP'ing a house with kids inside it!

52
00:03:21,218 --> 00:03:22,818
Kyle, we all agreed to do this!

53
00:03:22,881 --> 00:03:24,638
We didn't say nothin' about no kids, man!

54
00:03:24,852 --> 00:03:27,660
Kyle, you're bein' an asshole! Now let's do this thing and get out of m'yeah.

55
00:03:28,866 --> 00:03:30,960
Here's what I think of your art class, you God-damned bitch!

56
00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:32,315
(Yeah! Fuck you!)

57
00:03:56,891 --> 00:03:57,989
Come on, let's go!

58
00:03:59,629 --> 00:04:00,639
What have we done?

59
00:04:01,423 --> 00:04:02,221
Let's go, Kyle!

60
00:04:10,914 --> 00:04:12,791
We're, we're in trouble. We're in sooo much trouble.

61
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:14,778
Aw man, that was sooo awesome!

62
00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:19,126
How can you say that? Did you see what we did to their house?! It'll take them days to clean that up!

63
00:04:19,277 --> 00:04:20,104
Who cares??

64
00:04:20,104 --> 00:04:22,230
Well, YOU don't, because you're a non-caring asshole, Cartman!

65
00:04:23,006 --> 00:04:26,129
Me?? There's toilet paper on your hands, too, Kyle.

66
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,073
Cartman's right, Kyle. We're all in this together.

67
00:04:33,863 --> 00:04:36,730
Noo! No. Noo!

68
00:04:40,082 --> 00:04:44,103
Honey, what is it?? Oh, Jesus no! Our house!

69
00:04:44,509 --> 00:04:46,523
Mommy! Mommy!

70
00:04:47,437 --> 00:04:50,125
Whyyy? Whyyy?

71
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,162
Ah! Oh God! Oh God!

72
00:04:57,172 --> 00:05:00,998
Hey, uh, you guys here what happened last night?
Mrs. Dreible's house got covered with toilet paper.

73
00:05:01,812 --> 00:05:03,980
Yeah. They say it's gonna take three weeks to get it all down.

74
00:05:04,628 --> 00:05:06,821
Yeah? Well, Ol' Mrs. Dreible probably had it comin' to her.

75
00:05:07,085 --> 00:05:10,262
I don't know. I don't think anybody deserves that kind of brutality.

76
00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:12,397
Well, I understand the people who did it weren't caughts,

77
00:05:12,398 --> 00:05:15,913
so-o... Looks like nobody will ever know the geniuses who masterminded that perfect crime.

78
00:05:18,047 --> 00:05:23,298
Okay children, let's take our seats. Oh, uh, Stan, Kyle, Eric, and Kenny, the counselor wants to see you in his office, now.

79
00:05:23,638 --> 00:05:24,678
Damn!

80
00:05:24,813 --> 00:05:25,519
Oh God!

81
00:05:27,638 --> 00:05:29,269
How the hell did they find out it was us that TP'ed that house?

82
00:05:29,407 --> 00:05:33,509
Will you relax, Kyle?! They have nothing on us! As long as we all stick to our story, we'll be fine.

83
00:05:34,024 --> 00:05:35,671
We'd better go over our story again so we don't screw it up.

84
00:05:36,427 --> 00:05:40,107
Okay. Last night, all four of us were at the bowling alley until about 7:30,

85
00:05:40,108 --> 00:05:42,522
at which time we noticed Ally Sheedy, the Goth chick from the Breakfast Club,

86
00:05:42,523 --> 00:05:45,178
was bowling in the lane next to us, and we asked her for her autograph, but she didn't have a pen,

87
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:49,624
so we followed her out to her car, but on the way we were accosted by five Scientologists who wanted to give us all personality tests,

88
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:52,110
which were administered at the Scientology Center in Denver until 10:45,

89
00:05:52,111 --> 00:05:55,589
at which time we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho de Burritos Rojos,

90
00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:59,279
south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger, named Gary Bushwell,

91
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,723
arriving home at 11:46.

92
00:06:02,305 --> 00:06:04,587
I'm confused. Did Ally Sheedy take that personality test?

93
00:06:04,869 --> 00:06:05,540
Yes, dude!

94
00:06:05,897 --> 00:06:06,831
Kyle, it's very simple:

95
00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:10,159
we followed Ally Sheedy out to her car, but on the way we were accosted by five Scientologists

96
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:14,016
who wanted to give us all personality tests, which were administered at the Scientology Center in Denver until 10:45,

97
00:06:14,017 --> 00:06:17,101
at which time we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho de Burritos Rojos,

98
00:06:17,102 --> 00:06:20,698
south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger, named Gary Bushwell,

99
00:06:20,699 --> 00:06:22,531
arriving home at 11:46, you got it??

100
00:06:22,934 --> 00:06:25,184
-Ah, Ah I, ah I thought...
-Oh, for Christ's sake!

101
00:06:25,335 --> 00:06:28,241
Look, Kyle, just let Cartman do all the talking, okay? He's better at being in trouble than anybody.

102
00:06:28,466 --> 00:06:29,430
Thank you, Stan.

103
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:30,896
Sh sh, here they come, here they come.

104
00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:34,230
And so I said, 'That's a terrific joke, Wendy. Tell us another one.'

105
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,980
Oh, hello, Mr. Mackey. Are you ready to see us now?"

106
00:06:37,203 --> 00:06:41,946
We're gonna talk to you one at a time, boys, m'kay? Kenny, will you step into my office, please?

107
00:06:42,252 --> 00:06:42,995
(Me??)

108
00:06:43,285 --> 00:06:45,252
Come on, Kenny, let's go, 'k?

109
00:06:47,942 --> 00:06:49,410
Touché, Mr. Mackey, touché.

110
00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:51,276
Why are they doing us one at a time?

111
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:55,245
They want to see if we mix the story up, and see if someone will rat out the other three for a better deal.

112
00:06:55,493 --> 00:06:56,617
I can get a better deal?

113
00:06:56,951 --> 00:06:59,692
Kyle, so help me God, if you Jew us out on this one, I will fucking kill you!

114
00:07:01,628 --> 00:07:03,787
There we go. That should be about the last of it.

115
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,670
Ex- excuse me, uh, wha-what are you doing?

116
00:07:11,863 --> 00:07:13,340
Crime scene investigation!

117
00:07:14,703 --> 00:07:17,547
There are several footprints in the snow. Perhaps more than one perpetrator?

118
00:07:17,548 --> 00:07:20,306
Ah... look, we really don't wanna make a big deal out of this.

119
00:07:20,679 --> 00:07:23,833
Is that the toilet paper there? I'll need to take those bags as evidence.

120
00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:28,795
Lo-ih ih it's just not that big a deal, I mean, I toilet-papered houses myself when I was a kid.

121
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,881
You?! So where were you last night at around 9?!

122
00:07:32,675 --> 00:07:33,615
I was here.

123
00:07:33,693 --> 00:07:35,164
Aha!! Got you!

124
00:07:36,182 --> 00:07:38,471
Officer, why would I TP my own house?

125
00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:39,749
Insurance?

126
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:43,778
It wasn't me, okay? Now, if you don't mind, I just wanna get my yard back to normal.

127
00:07:44,152 --> 00:07:47,746
Now you listen to me! Whoever TP'ed your house is still out there roaming the streets.

128
00:07:48,214 --> 00:07:51,722
It's only a matter of time before another house and another family is victimized!

129
00:07:52,219 --> 00:07:54,086
I have to stop that from happening.

130
00:07:55,282 --> 00:07:57,283
You really have nothing better to do, do you?

131
00:07:57,303 --> 00:07:58,493
No I do not.

132
00:08:02,614 --> 00:08:05,225
Noo! No. Noo!

133
00:08:08,559 --> 00:08:10,178
Oh, Jesus no! Our house!

134
00:08:10,784 --> 00:08:12,847
Mommy! Mommy!

135
00:08:13,545 --> 00:08:16,974
Whyyy? Whyyy? Whyyy?

136
00:08:21,124 --> 00:08:24,734
Oh God! Oh God! I have to tell the truth! 
Mooooomm!

137
00:08:27,698 --> 00:08:29,437
Hello, Kyle. Going somewhere?

138
00:08:31,664 --> 00:08:34,041
I was... I was just going to get a drink of water.

139
00:08:34,188 --> 00:08:35,869
No need. I have one for you right here.

140
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,009
Oh. Okay. Thanks.

141
00:08:41,050 --> 00:08:42,467
Is there anything else I can get for you?

142
00:08:42,582 --> 00:08:44,993
Noo, I'll just... be... going back to bed now.

143
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:47,159
You do that. Goodnight, Kyle.

144
00:08:50,619 --> 00:08:55,365
Josh Meyers TP'ed over six hundred houses in less than a year. He's a real monster.

145
00:08:55,797 --> 00:08:59,910
I just need to talk to someonen who knows how toilet paperers think.

146
00:09:00,245 --> 00:09:06,604
Just remember: he'd toilet-paper you in a second if he had the chance. He's the last cell on your left.

147
00:09:19,023 --> 00:09:22,798
Hello, Josh. My name is Officer Barbrady. I'm with the South Park police.

148
00:09:24,142 --> 00:09:27,435
That's a terrible cologne you're wearing, officer. You should try something more... casual.

149
00:09:28,411 --> 00:09:31,264
I was hoping you could help me solve a toilet-papering case?

150
00:09:31,423 --> 00:09:34,488
And why would I do that? Because I'm such a charming fella?

151
00:09:35,468 --> 00:09:37,932
Uh please, I need your help. What would you want in return?

152
00:09:39,842 --> 00:09:45,639
Due to the harsh nature of my crimes they don't allow me to have toilet paper in my cell. You can imagine how bothersome that becomes.

153
00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:48,522
You... know I can't give you toilet paper, Josh.

154
00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:51,855
Nno, but it was worth a try, doesn't it?

155
00:09:52,649 --> 00:09:56,497
Tell me something, officer: why is it that you police such a small town. You must have had larger inspirations.

156
00:09:56,598 --> 00:09:58,698
What happened to those... big-city dreams?

157
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,735
Well, that's kind of personal.

158
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:06,905
Quid pro quo, officer. Tell me what I want to know. And I'll help you catch whoever toilet-papered that house.

159
00:10:10,229 --> 00:10:15,073
Look kid, I have very little time to catch whoever toilet-papered that house. Tell me what you know.

160
00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:18,109
Are those the crime scene photos? Let me see them.

161
00:10:22,892 --> 00:10:26,182
Yes. Yes. Not bad work, not bad at all.

162
00:10:26,851 --> 00:10:29,132
These toilet-paperers are professional, at least one of them is.

163
00:10:29,474 --> 00:10:31,576
So you think there was more than one. Why?

164
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,099
Tell me something first.

165
00:10:33,168 --> 00:10:36,980
When you went to the academy you had
something to prove. You wanted to protect and serve, but mostly you wanted to protect yourself.

166
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,870
Who were you protecting yourself from, Officer Barbrady?

167
00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:42,814
Oh all right, all right, my uncle Charles used to hit me with a belt!

168
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:49,309
Thank you. Your toilet-paperers are most like males between the ages of 8 and 10 and probably virgins.

169
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:52,351
Parents notice that much toilet paper missing, so they would have to have bought it themselves.

170
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,205
Find out where the toilet paper came from, officer, and you just might catch your man.

171
00:10:58,308 --> 00:10:59,919
Stan, Kenny, can I talk to you guys for a second?

172
00:11:01,351 --> 00:11:04,740
I think we have the counselor and the principal fooled, but we need to talk about Kyle.

173
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:05,883
What about him?

174
00:11:05,884 --> 00:11:07,950
Come on, you know. He's losing it. He's gonna crack.

175
00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:08,958
(I think so too.)

176
00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:10,930
Kyle can't take the heat; he's gonna sing like a canary.

177
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,850
Then we're all gonna take the fall for what we did.

178
00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:13,827
Ha-ey fellas.

179
00:11:14,654 --> 00:11:15,592
Butters.

180
00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:28,594
Look you guys, all it takes is for one of us to crack, and we all know who the weakest link is!

181
00:11:28,663 --> 00:11:29,255
So what should we do?

182
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:31,873
We have no choice. We have to kill Kyle.

183
00:11:33,264 --> 00:11:34,650
-Dude, we're not killing Kyle!
-(Yeah!)

184
00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:36,004
Why not?

185
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,504
Kyle's not gonna say anything, alright?

186
00:11:37,789 --> 00:11:40,337
He almost spilled the beans in the counselor's office! He can't even keep the story straight!

187
00:11:40,581 --> 00:11:44,054
I'm telling you guys, he's weak. He's weak, and he'll be the end of all of us.

188
00:11:47,011 --> 00:11:48,272
You wanted to see me, Officer Barbrady?

189
00:11:48,636 --> 00:11:49,781
Yes, thanks for coming, Mr. Bell.

190
00:11:50,197 --> 00:11:55,168
A house was TP'ed in South Park and I need to see if you can identify the toilet paper I recovered from the scene.

191
00:11:55,778 --> 00:11:57,322
I'm... sorry I have to do this.

192
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:01,778
Oh my God.

193
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,662
Is this toilet paper from your store?

194
00:12:04,434 --> 00:12:10,480
It's... difficult to tell, it's... so decayed, I... wait a minute, yes. Yes, I recognize the floral pattern now.

195
00:12:11,032 --> 00:12:12,610
Positive ID on the toilet paper.

196
00:12:12,653 --> 00:12:14,767
Who would... do this to toilet paper? Who?

197
00:12:14,869 --> 00:12:18,541
Mr. Bell, do you remember anyone suspicious buying toilet paper in the last few days?

198
00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:20,066
Suspicious like how?

199
00:12:20,066 --> 00:12:23,593
Well, like someone who was black or Mexican or Middle Eastern.

200
00:12:24,054 --> 00:12:26,994
Nnoo, the only Mexican guy I recall bought toasted tarts and chips

201
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,173
and... we don't allow Middle Eastern people in the store.

202
00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:31,126
Oh my God!

203
00:12:34,802 --> 00:12:36,038
What's this all about, Cartman?

204
00:12:36,102 --> 00:12:39,465
I just wanted to see how you're doing, Kyle. Why don't we go out for a little boat ride?

205
00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:40,467
A boat ride?

206
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:42,444
I just thought we should find a private place to... talk.

207
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,494
Well, okay.

208
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,639
Could you help me put this cement block and chain in the boat?

209
00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:54,188
Okay, let's go.

210
00:13:02,872 --> 00:13:04,206
So how are things, Kyle?

211
00:13:04,811 --> 00:13:08,078
Terrible. Every time I close my eyes I see the house we TP'ed.

212
00:13:08,697 --> 00:13:11,306
I see the tears of our art teacher and hear the screams of her daughters.

213
00:13:11,307 --> 00:13:12,841
And you feel like you have to confess.

214
00:13:14,409 --> 00:13:15,128
I don't know what to do.

215
00:13:15,555 --> 00:13:18,487
Part of me feels like I wanna end it all now. Tell people what heppened.

216
00:13:20,002 --> 00:13:22,709
You know, I never knew how beautiful this pond was before.

217
00:13:23,158 --> 00:13:28,793
So cold. The world can feel like that. So calm on the outside, as if nothing bad ever happens.

218
00:13:33,066 --> 00:13:34,405
What the hell are you doing, Cartman?!

219
00:13:34,454 --> 00:13:37,613
I'm killing you. But unfortunately I could only afford a Wiffle ball bat, so it's gonna take a while.

220
00:13:38,307 --> 00:13:39,900
Cartman!

221
00:13:39,901 --> 00:13:41,987
Don't fight it, Kyle, it will only take longer.
Just slip into sweet unconsciousness.

222
00:13:43,629 --> 00:13:48,651
You wanna kill me?! Fine! I can't live like this anymore! Go ahead! Do it!

223
00:13:57,055 --> 00:13:58,037
Won't be long, Kyle.

224
00:14:02,485 --> 00:14:04,073
Josh, I need your help.

225
00:14:04,533 --> 00:14:06,642
The answer is right in front of you, but you can't see it.

226
00:14:07,203 --> 00:14:08,151
How do you mean?

227
00:14:08,261 --> 00:14:10,869
Tell me, the toilet paper. Was it quilted?

228
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:11,879
Yes.

229
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:12,851
Single-sheet?

230
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:16,367
No, two-ply. What? What does that tell you?

231
00:14:17,497 --> 00:14:19,200
Why does one toilet-paper houses

232
00:14:21,090 --> 00:14:22,101
To get revenge.

233
00:14:22,648 --> 00:14:23,738
No, that is incidental.

234
00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:28,797
Your toilet-paperers wanted to transform the art teacher's house, thus transforming her entire occupation.

235
00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:29,956
What do you mean?

236
00:14:30,076 --> 00:14:32,339
Your uncle, who hit you with a belt. Was he a large man?

237
00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,105
I don't have time for this, kid.

238
00:14:34,178 --> 00:14:38,542
Did he stink like bayer when he came home from work all powoor from playin' down at the pool hiyouse?

239
00:14:38,868 --> 00:14:43,343
Alright alright my dad dressed me up like a little girl on poker nights and he made me sit on all my uncles' laps!

240
00:14:47,650 --> 00:14:49,722
Uh, oh. Thank you.

241
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:54,430
Your toilet-paperers are most likely students in the art teacher's class, students who aren't very good at art.

242
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:57,124
Oh. Of course! One of her students!

243
00:14:57,409 --> 00:15:01,015
Fly along now, Officer Barbrady. You've got some arrests to make. Fly fly flyyy. Fly fly flyyy.

244
00:15:04,815 --> 00:15:07,559
Josh, were you doing the silly voice for the policeman again?

245
00:15:08,027 --> 00:15:08,684
No, sir.

246
00:15:16,831 --> 00:15:17,936
Cartman, what are you doing?

247
00:15:18,075 --> 00:15:20,574
I'm getting rid of our problem. Kyle will be dead in a matter of hours.

248
00:15:22,157 --> 00:15:25,903
You don't have to kill Kyle, dude. The police made an arrest. And the person confessed!

249
00:15:26,684 --> 00:15:27,637
-They did?
-They did?

250
00:15:27,638 --> 00:15:29,855
They say they got the guy that did it down at the police station.

251
00:15:30,632 --> 00:15:32,376
Who confessed? That doesn't make any sense.

252
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,925
But can I still kill Kyyyle?

253
00:15:53,811 --> 00:15:55,034
Hello boys. How are you?

254
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:58,668
We heard that you have the person who TP'ed the art teacher's house? Is that true?

255
00:15:59,002 --> 00:15:59,792
It sure is!

256
00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:02,842
Uh, can we see them-him-her?

257
00:16:02,893 --> 00:16:03,993
Right over here.

258
00:16:04,625 --> 00:16:08,228
Yeah, we interrogated the suspect for over forty hours, and he finally cracked.

259
00:16:09,434 --> 00:16:10,416
Hey fellas!

260
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:11,352
Butters?

261
00:16:11,626 --> 00:16:13,002
Yep. I'm in jail.

262
00:16:13,888 --> 00:16:15,096
You con-fessed?

263
00:16:15,096 --> 00:16:17,643
Uh huh. Unh, they said I TP'ed the art teacher's house.

264
00:16:17,871 --> 00:16:20,431
I don't seem to remember it, but they're pretty sure it was me.

265
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:22,573
I just can't get my behavior under control!

266
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,963
His parents are on their way down now.

267
00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:29,379
Yeah. And boy, are they gonna uh let me have it! Just wait till my father gets here!

268
00:16:30,034 --> 00:16:31,870
You guys, we can't let him do this!

269
00:16:32,223 --> 00:16:33,779
What are you talking about? This is a gift from God.

270
00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:37,163
An early Easter present all wrapped up in a pretty ribbon from Jesus Christ himself!

271
00:16:37,443 --> 00:16:39,316
Well I'm just a little asshole, is what I am.

272
00:16:39,317 --> 00:16:42,169
When God made me, he must have not been payin' very close attention,

273
00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:44,423
'cause I turned out wrong! Just plain wrong!

274
00:16:44,694 --> 00:16:46,749
Officer Barbrady, Butters didn't TP that house.

275
00:16:46,897 --> 00:16:47,915
Why do you say that?

276
00:16:48,231 --> 00:16:49,618
-Because it was-
-Wiffle ball, anyone?

277
00:16:49,815 --> 00:16:51,700
Anyone care for a nice game of Wiffle ball?

278
00:16:52,286 --> 00:16:55,458
You know, it's not my parents I'm worried about. It's my girlfriend, Karen.

279
00:16:55,627 --> 00:16:59,917
Why, she lives in Michigan. But when she finds out about this, woooo smokey, is she gonna be sore!

280
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:03,014
She might even break up with me. And it would serve me right, too.

281
00:17:03,113 --> 00:17:06,348
All right, boys, visiting time is over. Thanks for stopping by.

282
00:17:09,647 --> 00:17:11,653
You see guys, it all worked itself out.

283
00:17:12,102 --> 00:17:15,407
Tadow, tadow, how you like me now? Feel a little silly now, Kyle?

284
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:17,394
Tadow, how you like me now?

285
00:17:17,613 --> 00:17:18,778
I still feel bad, Cartman

286
00:17:19,052 --> 00:17:23,095
What? Hu- How can you feel bad? Somebody else is gonna pay for our crime.

287
00:17:23,455 --> 00:17:25,028
Yeah. That makes it even worse.

288
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:33,084
Kyle, you don't seem to understand.
We're we're not gonna get punished for this. Ever.

289
00:17:33,124 --> 00:17:33,880
I know.

290
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:38,331
So... so then, how can you feel bad?

291
00:17:38,331 --> 00:17:40,783
He feels guilty for doing it and for letting someone else pay for it.

292
00:17:42,422 --> 00:17:43,574
...But he's not gonna get in trouble.

293
00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:46,178
It doesn't matter if you get in trouble of not, you can still feel bad.

294
00:17:46,626 --> 00:17:48,428
I think you're right, Kyle. Maybe we should confess.

295
00:17:48,475 --> 00:17:49,622
(Yeah, maybe we should.)

296
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,128
What?? Eh... hey you guys!

297
00:17:52,635 --> 00:17:55,062
There's nothing to feel bad about! We're, we're off scot-free!

298
00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:56,765
We feel bad for other people.

299
00:17:58,864 --> 00:17:59,642
For oth-er...

300
00:18:04,815 --> 00:18:07,096
ih, is it that ...you think you might get in trouble later?

301
00:18:07,182 --> 00:18:10,405
Tomorrow in school we'll all tell the teacher it was us, and let her decide what to do.

302
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:13,137
And Cartman, if you had any thread of a conscience at all, you'll do the same!

303
00:18:14,634 --> 00:18:18,230
Eh buh... eh... eh... Freakin' weirdos, man!

304
00:18:19,144 --> 00:18:21,954
Well well well! I had to see it to believe it!

305
00:18:22,061 --> 00:18:22,958
Hi, Dad.

306
00:18:23,115 --> 00:18:24,544
Don't you "Hi, Dad" me!

307
00:18:25,141 --> 00:18:28,361
Look at you! Standing behind prison bars! Again!

308
00:18:28,644 --> 00:18:29,366
Yeahhh.

309
00:18:29,406 --> 00:18:31,287
What fibs have you been telling this policeman, Butters?!

310
00:18:31,288 --> 00:18:33,787
You know damn well you didn't toilet-paper that house!

311
00:18:34,099 --> 00:18:34,825
Huh??

312
00:18:34,825 --> 00:18:36,815
Butters was with us all night, Officer Barbrady.

313
00:18:36,863 --> 00:18:40,905
Butters, what have we told you about confessing to crimes you didn't commit?! We have had it, mister!

314
00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:44,817
Well, he kept accusin' me for hours, and then he shot me up with sodium pentathol.

315
00:18:45,031 --> 00:18:46,241
And that's your excuse?!

316
00:18:46,601 --> 00:18:50,011
Well, looks like I made a mistake. I... guess I'd better let you out now.

317
00:18:50,217 --> 00:18:52,627
Just wait till we get you home, you little fibber!

318
00:18:53,062 --> 00:18:55,050
Officer, can I stay in jail, please?

319
00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:57,554
Come on, you guys! Hurry! Guys, hurry!

320
00:18:58,277 --> 00:18:59,267
What is it, Cartmam?

321
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,621
It's over this way! Come on!

322
00:19:08,629 --> 00:19:09,998
So how are things, guys?

323
00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:12,267
Cartman, we're confessing tomorrow in school, and that's final.

324
00:19:12,298 --> 00:19:13,859
I'm afraid I can't let that happen.

325
00:19:14,104 --> 00:19:15,514
You can't kill all three of us, Cartman!

326
00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:16,413
Can't I?

327
00:19:24,343 --> 00:19:25,296
Excuse me, everyone.

328
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:29,671
I have someone with me who can tell us all who toilet-papered the art teacher's house!

329
00:19:31,865 --> 00:19:36,212
Josh insisted he be able to tell you the names of the toilet paperers in person.

330
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:39,922
Uh, that's nice, Officer Barbrady, but we actually don't need to know-

331
00:19:39,923 --> 00:19:44,540
Hold it! Principal Victoria, Mr. Mackey, Mrs. Dreible. We have something we need to tell you.

332
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:47,252
All right. Will you people stop barging into my office, please?

333
00:19:47,608 --> 00:19:49,613
What's the matter, Principal Victoria? Was your mother abusive?

334
00:19:49,614 --> 00:19:52,387
Did she spank your thighs with cold cuts and stick umbrellas up your ass?

335
00:19:52,886 --> 00:19:53,900
Get him out of here!

336
00:19:54,086 --> 00:19:56,697
Uh, Policeman Brown, will you take Josh outside, please?

337
00:19:57,315 --> 00:20:00,383
Ooo, Polceman Brown, never quite made officer. Why is that, Polceman Brown?

338
00:20:00,622 --> 00:20:02,453
We have to confess that we were the ones that-

339
00:20:02,454 --> 00:20:05,440
It's too late, boys, m'kay? We already know everything.

340
00:20:06,501 --> 00:20:07,956
You, you do? How?

341
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:11,039
Hi guys.

342
00:20:11,242 --> 00:20:12,189
Cartman??

343
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:14,199
I told them everything, you guys. It's over.

344
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,279
Luckily for us, one of you had enough of a conscience to come forward.

345
00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:19,118
My consciences just caught up with me.

346
00:20:19,225 --> 00:20:20,181
That's not fair!

347
00:20:20,182 --> 00:20:24,401
You all get two weeks of detention, except Eric, who gets one week for being brave.

348
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,931
But, but he's lying! He doesn't have a conscience!

349
00:20:27,115 --> 00:20:32,238
Well, I guess my work here is done. After all this, I'm gonna need a long vacation.

350
00:20:32,844 --> 00:20:37,070
This was supposed to be my story! My coming to terms with a guilty conscience! This isn't fair!

351
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,676
Okay, Josh, time to go back to the... Oh no!

352
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:45,675
He... He was too fast for me. He ran out the door!

353
00:20:45,693 --> 00:20:47,199
Couldn't you have gone after him?

354
00:20:47,452 --> 00:20:50,445
Well, ah I'm covered in toilet paper. I'd look silly.

355
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,755
Welcome to detention.

356
00:20:55,178 --> 00:20:59,860
You will be here till five o'clock, so make good study use of your time. M'kay?

357
00:21:00,023 --> 00:21:01,255
Wugh! Two weeks of this!

358
00:21:01,503 --> 00:21:03,546
Yeah. But I have to say, I feel a lot better now.

359
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:04,675
I know what you mean, Kyle.

360
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,755
I realize now that even though you might not get caught doing something bad,

361
00:21:08,032 --> 00:21:09,329
you can still get caught later.

362
00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:10,033
Oh Jesus!

363
00:21:10,033 --> 00:21:12,423
I didn't feel bad before, but now I just feel terrible.

364
00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:14,756
You just feel bad for yourself that you're in detention!

365
00:21:15,053 --> 00:21:17,316
Right. I guess I learned today that sometimes you-

366
00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:20,038
Oh, stop it, Cartman! You didn't learn anything! Not a God-damned thing!

367
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:27,656
Police station.

368
00:21:27,899 --> 00:21:28,909
Hello Officer Barbrady.

369
00:21:29,669 --> 00:21:31,322
Josh? Josh, where are you?!

370
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,939
I'm afraid that giving away my location might be harmful to my freedom, officer.

371
00:21:35,229 --> 00:21:38,026
I just wanted to thank you for helping me get out of that dingy cell.

372
00:21:38,027 --> 00:21:41,669
Josh, you have to go back to Juvenile Hall. You only have a three-week sentence.

373
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:42,764
Sorry, officer, gotta run.

374
00:21:43,071 --> 00:21:44,969
There's something I've been meaning to do for quite some time.

375
00:21:45,101 --> 00:21:46,594
Ciao.