1
00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:07,100
* i'm going down
to south park *

2
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:08,800
* gonna have
myself a time *

3
00:00:08,900 --> 00:00:10,500
* friendly faces
everywhere *

4
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,500
* humble folks
without temptation *

5
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:14,100
* going down
to south park *

6
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,400
* gonna leave my
woes behind *

7
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,600
* ample parking
day or night *

8
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:19,000
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *

9
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,200
* headin' on up
to south park *

10
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,300
* gonna see
if i can't unwind *

11
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:25,700
* tim-Tmah tim-Mah,
tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah *

12
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:27,400
* so come on down
to south park *

13
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,000
* and meet some
friends of mine *

14
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:38,800
Be careful
with my baby!

15
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:39,800
What have we got?

16
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:41,700
Not sure- Looks like
a possible code 56!

17
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,400
Kenny...
shut up, kenny!

18
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,800
You're going to
be okay, baby...

19
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,600
Get me 50 ccs
of ketamine stat!

20
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,400
And get something
for the kid too!

21
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,400
Is he going to
be okay?

22
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,000
Let the doctor
do his work, ma'am.

23
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:00,900
Doctor!

24
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:01,700
Did you find out
what's wrong with him?

25
00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:03,400
I'm afraid he's...

26
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:05,100
Running out
of time.

27
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,400
Why, what's
wrong with him?

28
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,500
It's his time,
it's running out.

29
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:11,800
Well, what
does he need?

30
00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:14,100
He needs to have
more time.

31
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,700
What can we do?

32
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,600
Well, i suppose we could
try a time transplant...

33
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,500
I'll have to call in
a specialist.

34
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,400
It's going to be
okay, baby.

35
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:23,400
We're going to
get you more time.

36
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,800
Kenny!
Goddamn you kenny!

37
00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,300
Hello there, children!

38
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,900
Chef, cartman is
in the hospital.

39
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:33,100
They think
he might die.

40
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,400
Yeah, and we don't know
whether or not we should care.

41
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:36,700
Well, what's
wrong with him?

42
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:37,900
Well, nobody
seems to know.

43
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,400
But we think it's because
he drank kenny's soul

44
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,300
Four weeks ago.

45
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,400
Kenny's ashes
were in an urn

46
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,500
And cartman drank it thinking
it was chocolate milk mix.

47
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:44,700
Children!

48
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,200
Why didn't you tell me
about this sooner?

49
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,800
Like we said, we didn't know
whether or not we should care.

50
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,000
Well you should!

51
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,300
Cartman is your friend
whether you like him or not!

52
00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,800
Now come on, we gotta
get to that hospital!

53
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:56,200
He's looking
a little better today.

54
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,900
Yes, but his time
is still getting weaker.

55
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:01,500
It will give out soon
unless we do something.

56
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,500
Hey guys!
How's it going?

57
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,200
Cartman?

58
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,100
No, that's kenny.

59
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,300
What the hell are
you assholes doing here?

60
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,500
That's cartman.

61
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,700
Oh my god, eric

62
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,600
How long have you been
channeling kenny?

63
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,600
Oh, about a month.

64
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,300
Let's not validate
his delusions.

65
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,500
Kenny?

66
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,500
Kenny do you know
what you need to get free?

67
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,200
He's gone again.

68
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,600
Ms. Cartman, we need to
get eric to a medium

69
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,000
Who can speak with people
who have crossed over.

70
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,100
What!
That's preposterous!

71
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,300
What this child needs
is a time transplant!

72
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,400
This hospital isn't
gonna do him any good!

73
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,500
We need to take him
to see john edward.

74
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:35,500
Hey, i've
seen that guy!

75
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:36,700
He has a tv show where
he brings people on

76
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,200
And talks to
their dead relatives!

77
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:39,000
That's right.

78
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,300
We have to go see him
in new york!

79
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,200
I warn you, ms. Cartman,

80
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:42,800
Your son's time could
give out at any minute.

81
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,600
He needs to be kept here where
his time can be monitored!

82
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,700
Oh what should i do!

83
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,800
I'm playing roulette
with my child's life!

84
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,900
Ooh, wait, "hairspray" is
showing in new york isn't it?

85
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:51,700
Let's go there!

86
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,200
Good! You children
need to come to.

87
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,900
Eric needs all the support
he can get right now.

88
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:56,900
We're going
to new york?

89
00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,300
Welcome aboard
flight 673 to new york.

90
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,700
We are happy to show you a
feature film during the flight.

91
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,700
In a moment, we will
be showing a preview.

92
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,300
Oh cool, we get
to watch a movie?

93
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,300
Awesome!

94
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,500
Rob schneider
was an animal!

95
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,800
Then he was a woman!

96
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,400
And now
rob schneider is...

97
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,500
A stapler!

98
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,000
And he's about to
find out

99
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,000
That being a stapler...

100
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,900
Is harder than it looks!

101
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:29,500
Rob schneider is
"the stapler" rated pg-13!

102
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,700
Weak.Weak.

103
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:31,900
Heh-Heh!

104
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:34,800
That was kenny
laughing, not me!

105
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,300
This must be
the place.

106
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,500
Okay, audience members, hi.

107
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,100
Welcome to the
taping of the show.

108
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,600
It's all general
seating in there,

109
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,500
And just remember, mr. Edward
might not hear from

110
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,400
The particular dead person
you want to talk to.

111
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,700
So just keep
an open mind.

112
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,900
Don't worry, eric, i'm sure
he'll be able to help you!

113
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,400
Ladies and gentlemen,
john edward.

114
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,900
Thank you... thank you...

115
00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:01,500
Alright,
let's get started.

116
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,100
It's coming from over here...

117
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,400
Does the name mike
mean anything to anybody?

118
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,200
I'm getting mike-
Definitely an m...

119
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,500
Maybe matt.

120
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:14,000
Mike- Matt- Mary.

121
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,400
Mary was
my mother!

122
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:19,000
Okay, okay,
and she died?

123
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,000
Yes, yes she did!

124
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,200
Okay and she's telling me
something about the money?

125
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,400
"The money is safe"
is that making sense?

126
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:27,100
Hmmm, not really.

127
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,300
It must be from somewhere else
in the audience then.

128
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,300
The money-

129
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,300
Uh, over here, please.

130
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:32,100
We have
a dead friend.

131
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,800
Quiet down, boys, it doesn't
work that way...

132
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,200
Uh... uh, okay i'm getting
someone now who's name is

133
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,100
J... t... l... m... k...

134
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:42,900
Kenny!

135
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,200
Kenny says hi.

136
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,700
Woaaaaa!

137
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:48,100
Okay, now i'm getting
that kenny died?

138
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:48,900
We told you that.

139
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,400
And it wasn't
a good death.

140
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,800
It was,
it was a sad death.

141
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,000
It was like, a death
that made people sad

142
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,100
Does that make sense?

143
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,000
Yyyyeah.

144
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,300
Oooh!

145
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,100
Look, mr. Edward,
can you just ask kenny

146
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,300
How we can
get him out please?

147
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,600
Doesn't work that way-

148
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,300
Now kenny is telling me
that you were his best friends

149
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,500
And he's in
a safe place.

150
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,200
No, no, he's trapped
in cartman's body.

151
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,400
Oh, there's
somebody with him.

152
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,700
Who is kyle?

153
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:12,800
I'm kyle!

154
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,600
Oh right... and did
an older woman pass.

155
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,300
She's asking for kyle,
maybe a grandma.

156
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,100
Yeah, my grandma-
She's here?

157
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,200
She says there's something
she asked you to do

158
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,400
And you're not doing it.

159
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,400
She wants you to
look for four white doves.

160
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,500
Oh my god!

161
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,000
Now she's sending me
a "p" word

162
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,300
Maybe it's a
"b" or a "h"...

163
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:28,400
My harry
died last year!

164
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,100
Oh it's coming
from over here!

165
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,200
I'm getting all kinds
of voices today, wooo!

166
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,200
Hey, wait
a minute, dude!

167
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,900
Okay, now harry,
he's telling me-

168
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:38,800
Ooh well, he's saying that
you two used to do things?

169
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,500
And that those
things involved, stuff?

170
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,600
The things
did involve stuff!

171
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,700
Wow-Aoao-Oao!

172
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:47,900
Aw man!

173
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,300
I can't believe i got
fooled by that asshole!

174
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,400
He seemed
better on tv?

175
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,300
Yeah, they must edit
the shows down on television

176
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,700
To only show him getting
mostly right answers!

177
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:58,000
Grandma is watching me...
always watching me...

178
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,200
Dude, you don't believe that guy
talked to your grandma, do you?

179
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,700
Aagahgh!
Agahgahgagh!

180
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,000
Eric?

181
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,500
It must be
his time!

182
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,400
I think it's
running out!

183
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,600
We've got
no choice.

184
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,000
The only people i know
who might be able to help eric

185
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:10,000
Are my parents.

186
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:13,000
We'll have to take the
next flight to scotland!

187
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,200
Okay, children, this is your
flight back to colorado.

188
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,300
Your parents are meeting you
at the airport in denver.

189
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,500
We don't get
to go to scotland?

190
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,500
It's too far, and your
parents want you back home.

191
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,500
Oh well, good luck getting
kenny out of you, fatso.

192
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,700
Thanks, asshole.

193
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,000
Come on, we gotta
catch our plane!

194
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,600
You children get right on
that plane now!

195
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,200
This is a final boarding
announcement

196
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,000
For flight 342 to denver.

197
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,200
That's us, come on.

198
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,400
Four white birds!

199
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:35,300
Huh?

200
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,100
There's four
white birds!

201
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,800
This is what
grandma wants!

202
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,500
She wants me
to attend jewleeard!

203
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,800
Dude, you were going to see
four white birds eventually!

204
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:44,300
So is it coincidence that
grandma did talk to me

205
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,500
About me going to
jewleeard someday?

206
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,500
Yes, now come on,
our plane's gonna leave.

207
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:49,700
I'm not going back.

208
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,700
What?!

209
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,300
I have to join jewleeard
and make grandma proud!

210
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:53,300
Tell my parents
i'll call them.

211
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,000
Kyle!
No, kyle!

212
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,200
Aw crap!

213
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,100
Hey, uh, i need to
talk to mr. Edward, please.

214
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,600
He doesn't do
private readings.

215
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:04,700
I'm not here
for a reading

216
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,100
I just need to ask him
something real quick.

217
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,000
Alright,
come on in.

218
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:11,500
Just wait right here,
i'll go fetch him.

219
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,400
Jesus christ...

220
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,200
Here he is!

221
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:18,700
Ladies and gentlemen,
john edward.

222
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,100
Thank you, thank you.

223
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,800
Hey, i need to ask you
a big favor.

224
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,900
You did a reading
of my best friend

225
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:30,000
And uh, well you kinda
messed him up.

226
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:30,800
Ohhh...

227
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,500
"The john edward show
is not liable for

228
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,100
Opinions and materials given for
entertainment purposes only."

229
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,700
Look, my friend kyle won't
fly back home to colorado.

230
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:40,200
All i need you to do is
just talk to him and tell him

231
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,600
Y'know, that the whole talking
to dead people isn't for real.

232
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:43,700
Maybe it is
for real.

233
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:44,600
Right,
but it's not.

234
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:45,700
It's a trick you do
and i need you

235
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:46,700
To just let my friend
kyle know that

236
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,900
So he can go on
with his life.

237
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,500
Look, people have the right
to be skeptical.

238
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:50,700
I really hear
voices in my head.

239
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,100
Yes, we all hear
voices in our heads.

240
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,600
It's called intuition.

241
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,500
Get over yourself and tell my
friend it's just for fun.

242
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,700
Look, what i do
doesn't hurt anybody.

243
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,100
I give people closure and
help them cope with life.

244
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,200
No, you give them
false hope

245
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,900
And a belief in something
that isn't real.

246
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:02,800
But i'm a psychic.

247
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,100
No dude,
you're a douche.

248
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,200
I'm not a douche!

249
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,100
What if i really believe
dead people talk to me?

250
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,500
Then you're
a stupid douche.

251
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,100
I think i've had enough
of your bullying me!

252
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:11,600
Get out of my house
or i'll run upstairs

253
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,100
Lock myself in my panic room
and call the police.

254
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,400
I'm nine years old!

255
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:16,900
I'm not talking to your friend
and i'm not a douche!

256
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:21,000
Get outta my house
or i'm calling the police!

257
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,800
You are so a douche!

258
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,400
I'm nominating you for biggest
douche in the universe award,

259
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,400
Ya douche!

260
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,400
Son of a bitch!

261
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:47,900
Kenny!
Shut up, kenny!

262
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,300
You shut up, fat ass!

263
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,500
Hang in there, sweetie,
we'll be there soon.

264
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,100
Welcome aboard scotland air.

265
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,800
Our trip to edinburgh should
take about twelve hours.

266
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,100
Twelve hours?

267
00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,200
Jesus christ!

268
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,000
In the meantime, we'd like to
show you a complimentary film.

269
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,900
Oh good.

270
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,500
Rob schneider is a
wall street executive.

271
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,000
With everything
going for him!

272
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:10,300
Only problem is

273
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,000
He's about to become...

274
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,100
A carrot!

275
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:15,500
I'm a carrot!

276
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:18,100
It's twenty four
carrot comedy!

277
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,000
Rob schneider is...

278
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,000
"A carrot"
rated pg-13.

279
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,900
Oh for the
love of christ.

280
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,600
I wanna watch,
fat boy!

281
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,300
No, kenny,
it's not funny!

282
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,400
Kyle- Kyle!

283
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:32,600
Don't try
and stop me, stan,

284
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:33,700
This is what
my grandma wants!

285
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,800
Look, i went and saw
that john edward guy.

286
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:36,500
He's just a big douche.

287
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:37,100
He's not a douche!

288
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,000
He talked
to my grandma!

289
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,200
Kyle, you can't
run your life based on

290
00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:41,500
What some douchie
psychic said.

291
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,300
They all just use a technique
called "cold reading".

292
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,400
They've used it for
hundreds of years

293
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,300
To make people
believe them.

294
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,800
Hey, woa now,
john edward is for real!

295
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:48,600
No, he's not.

296
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,900
Yeah, my sister
told me

297
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,900
He knew our mother's name
and when she died!

298
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:53,900
John edward?

299
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,400
Oh yeah, i heard he walked up
to a guy on the street

300
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,800
And said his dead father
wanted to say happy birthday

301
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,000
<i>And it was his birthday!</i>

302
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,100
Yeah, kid, how do
you explain that?

303
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,600
Alright, look
i'll show you.

304
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,800
I just need a volunteer,
how about you?

305
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,000
Ohhh, me!

306
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,000
Okay, i'm going to
pretend that a dead person

307
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,600
Is talking to me
about you, okay?

308
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,300
Okay...

309
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,600
Okay, watch, kyle.

310
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,300
It's an older man-
Someone very close to you.

311
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,700
My father?

312
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:20,200
Does this month, november,
hold a special significance?

313
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,000
My birthday
is in november!

314
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:24,900
Right, because he's saying
"tell her happy birthday".

315
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,000
Oh my god!

316
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,400
See kyle, i just started with
something really vague.

317
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,000
I chose "older man"
because i'm betting

318
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,000
That based on this woman's age
her father is most likely dead.

319
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,200
But if her
father wasn't dead

320
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:33,500
I could still say it was
some other older man.

321
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,700
But how'd you know her
birthday was in november?

322
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,800
I didn't, i asked her if
november meant anything.

323
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,400
Her father could have
died in november

324
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,500
Or thanksgiving could've
been really special for them

325
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,500
But i go with the birthday
and validate now as if i knew

326
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,100
By saying, "he wishes you
a happy birthday".

327
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,600
What else does he say?

328
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,000
Okay, i'll just use
an old standard...

329
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:51,700
He's saying, "the money-
Stop worrying about the money".

330
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:52,900
Oh my god...

331
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,000
My sister and i have been
fighting over his inheritance!

332
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,200
That's amazing!

333
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,300
No, it isn't.

334
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,600
When a father dies
inheritance is usually an issue.

335
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,000
And money is something
everyone worries about.

336
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,000
That sounds a little
too coincidental.

337
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,800
Yes, there's only
one explanation.

338
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,100
This kid can communicate
with the dead!

339
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,200
Wow!Wow!
Woaaa!

340
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,600
Do me next, i want to
talk to my mother!

341
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,100
Can you try to reach
my grandfather?

342
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,300
You have to tell me

343
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:13,700
If my sister is
in a good place!

344
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,100
Me next!
I'll pay you!

345
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,200
Kid, how would you
like your own

346
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,000
"Talking to the dead" show?

347
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:29,600
Hi, pop!

348
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:32,300
Junior! Aw son, it's
good to see you, na!

349
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,900
These are my friends,
the cartmans.

350
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,500
Well come in
out of the cold, na!

351
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,900
There's heavy fog on
the moors tonight.

352
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:40,300
Look what the
cat dragged in, nelle!

353
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,100
Oh my baby,
come home!

354
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,400
Hi, momma!

355
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,900
Lord, i thought you
wasn't coming til 9:00!

356
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,000
Mom, this is
my friend ms. Cartman.

357
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,200
Please,
call me liane!

358
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,400
So nice to
have you here, liane.

359
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,400
And is this the children
you told us about?

360
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:55,700
Yeah, pop,
this is eric.

361
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:56,000
Let's see hya...

362
00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,500
Mm-Hmm...

363
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,600
Yup, there is definitely more
than one children in there!

364
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:04,400
Oh dear.

365
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,000
Nelle, you best
have at it, na.

366
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,200
Oh lord, and i just put the
roast in the oven, too.

367
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,900
Ain't gonna have no time
now to baste it...

368
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,400
Don't nobody blame me.

369
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,600
Woman can't baste the roast and do
everything else at the same time.

370
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,300
I ain't saying the roast is
going to be terrible,

371
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,300
Maybe just a little dry

372
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,900
But i suppose we can make
some extra gravy

373
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,100
To take the dryness
out later.

374
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,200
Alright, children,
stand up on this chair, na.

375
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,100
Right na?

376
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,500
Yes, right na.

377
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,800
Watch it, lady!

378
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:37,200
Just stay still, eric,
mom knows what she's doing!

379
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,500
At a very young age

380
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,400
One young boy learned
he had a special gift

381
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:45,100
This is
"the other side"

382
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,700
Okay...
listen to me.

383
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,400
Listen very carefully.

384
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,300
This-Is-A-Trick
that i am doing, okay?

385
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,200
Watch- All i'm gonna do
is say a name

386
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,000
That i'm gonna
pick at random, okay?

387
00:12:56,100 --> 00:13:00,200
"They want me to acknowledge
pete or peter... "

388
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,500
Yes!
Yes my peter!

389
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:03,800
Ooohh!

390
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,000
No, stop clapping!

391
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,500
All i did was
pick a random name

392
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:07,700
And wait for somebody in the
audience to give a response.

393
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,600
Now that i see that there
is a lone woman, crying

394
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,900
My instinct tells me
peter was her husband.

395
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:14,800
So i say,
"peter was your husband?"

396
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,800
Yes! Yes,
my husband, peter!

397
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:19,300
Ohhh!Wow!
Ooh!

398
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,000
Stop it!
I didn't do anything!

399
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,200
You knew
peter was dead!

400
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,000
I didn't start
by saying "peter is dead"

401
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,100
I started by saying,

402
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,300
"They want me to
acknowledge peter".

403
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,100
That could have meant
peter was in the audience

404
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,700
Or that peter was somebody's
friend or that peter had died.

405
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,200
I couldn't
be wrong, see?!

406
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,400
Now, i can look at this woman
and see that she's fairly young

407
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,800
So odds are, her husband was
fairly young when he died.

408
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,600
So i can say something like,

409
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:40,600
"I'm getting that peter's
death was very untimely."

410
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,800
Yes, it was!

411
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:42,800
Ohhh!Wow!
Ooh!

412
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,900
Amazing!

413
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,200
Ask peter if he knows
my little billy!

414
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:50,100
Okay...
let's back up.

415
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,700
Not literally!

416
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:58,300
In the name of
all that is holy

417
00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,800
We demand this spirit
be set free!

418
00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,900
Agh... agh...

419
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,800
There we go!

420
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:04,800
We're gettin'
something, na!

421
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,300
Come out, spirit soul!

422
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,900
Come on out, na!
It's safe!

423
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:11,400
Ughhhhhh!

424
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,400
Here it comes!

425
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,300
The spirit is
coming out, na!

426
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,100
Ooh, that's
the potatoes.

427
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,100
Well, hold on the potatoes
two seconds woman!

428
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,900
The soul's
coming out, na!

429
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,500
Yaghagh!

430
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,900
Aaghaghag!

431
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,200
It's almost out!

432
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:30,800
Alright, son, now
bring me the victim child!

433
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,800
The victim child?

434
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,700
Yeah, you know!

435
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,400
The child that we sacrifice,

436
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,600
So we could put kenny's soul
into its body!

437
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,700
Oh lord they didn't
bring a victim child.

438
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:45,900
Where were we going to find
a child to sacrifice?

439
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:49,100
We weren't going to ask you
where you got it from.

440
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,400
Blabblefalg!

441
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,600
Aw, damage!

442
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,500
The spirit's out and
it don't have nowhere to go!

443
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,500
Ooh thomas, don't let it
get on the curtains.

444
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:01,600
Rob schneider derp da derp-

445
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,900
Derp dee derp
de derpy derp!

446
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,300
Until one day

447
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:09,000
Derp da derp
da derp derp!

448
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,800
Derp dee derp-
Da teetley tum!

449
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:21,100
Rob schneider is

450
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:25,400
Da derp dee derp da teetley
derpee derpee dumb

451
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,700
Rated pg-13!

452
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,400
Here, look, kyle.

453
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,100
I found tons of testimonials
on the internet

454
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,100
Stating that john edward
has the entire studio wired

455
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,200
To hear what people are
talking about before the show

456
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,100
And he pays actors to be
plants in the audience!

457
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,000
You're just jealous he's a
better psychic than you.

458
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,400
Fine, i give up!

459
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:45,300
You wanna stay in new york,
then go ahead!

460
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,100
So, you think you can talk to
dead people better than me?

461
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,600
No, i don't think
either one of us can.

462
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,700
They told me your show is
getting better ratings than mine!

463
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:55,700
That you're saying
i'm a fraud on your show!

464
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,200
You better not
ever call me a liar

465
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,700
Or a fake or a douche again or
else i'll sue you for slander!

466
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,300
I am saying this
to you, john edward.

467
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,200
You are a liar,
you are a fake

468
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,200
And you are the
biggest douche ever.

469
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,900
Everything i tell people is
positive and gives them hope!

470
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,400
How does that
make me a douche?

471
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,000
Because the big questions
in life are tough.

472
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:15,100
"Why are we here?" "Where are
from?" "Where are we going?"

473
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,100
But if people believe in
asshole douchie liars like you

474
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,400
We're never going to find the
real answers to those questions.

475
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,400
You aren't just lying,

476
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,300
You're slowing down
the progress of all mankind.

477
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:22,700
You douche.

478
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,900
I'm not a douche!

479
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,100
And i challenge you
to a psychic showdown!

480
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,400
I'll prove to the world that
i'm psychic and you're not!

481
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:31,500
Fine, douche!

482
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,000
I'm not
a douche!

483
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,600
Well come on,
the soul is in here,

484
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,200
It's panicking, na!

485
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,800
It's going
to the light!

486
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,100
Unfortunately it's
the living room light!

487
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,000
I'll open a window, you
try to chase it out, thomas.

488
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,200
Go on, na, soul, na!

489
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:48,600
Here spirit,
come out the window

490
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,900
And i'll give you
tree-Fiddy!

491
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,700
Now don't go offering the soul
no tree-Fiddy, woman!

492
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,200
I just trying
to persuade it.

493
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,000
Well, i know but
you could at least

494
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,400
Start at a buck o' five
or something!

495
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,100
Oh christmas,
there it go again!

496
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,600
It's headin'
for the kitchen!

497
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,100
Oh thomas,
the pot roast!

498
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:06,200
Don't let it
get in the roast!

499
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:11,900
Oh well...

500
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:15,000
I guess the child's
a pot roast now.

501
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,100
What do we do
with it now?

502
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,100
I'll wrap it up
with plastic wrap

503
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,000
So you can take it
home with you.

504
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,500
Should last a few months
in the freezer...

505
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:23,900
Hey, i feel
a lot better.

506
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,400
Eric, you're okay!

507
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,200
Oh baby,
your time is back!

508
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,900
This child...
is clean.

509
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,800
Ladies and gentlemen
it's "psychic showdown".

510
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,300
Here are john edward
and stan marsh.

511
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,100
Thank you!

512
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,400
Alright, asshole, i know you're
here to try and throw me off

513
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,600
So go ahead
give me your best shot!

514
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,100
No, i don't want to
talk to you,

515
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,700
I want to talk
to the audience.

516
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:46,700
What- Why?

517
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:47,900
You see, i learned
something today.

518
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,300
At first i thought
you were all just stupid

519
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,400
Listening to this
douche's advice.

520
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,000
But now i understand
that you're all here

521
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,300
Because you're scared.

522
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,400
You're scared of death and he
offers you understanding.

523
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,600
You all want to believe in it
so much, i know you do.

524
00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,900
You find comfort in the thought
that your loved ones

525
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:01,500
Are floating around trying
to talk to you.

526
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:02,200
But think about it...

527
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,600
Is that really
what you want?

528
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,000
To just be floating around
after you die

529
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,400
Having to talk
to this asshole?

530
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:09,500
We need to recognize this stuff
for what it is- Magic tricks.

531
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:12,100
Because whatever is really
going on in life and in death

532
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:16,400
Is much more amazing
than this douche.

533
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,100
You're right, stan.

534
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,600
My grandma isn't
floating around

535
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:29,200
Judging me and
watching what i do.

536
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,100
She's dead.

537
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:30,600
Dead and gone forever!

538
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,300
Yeah!

539
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,400
But i do have a special power
i know i do!

540
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,400
There's nothing special
about you, dude.

541
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:37,100
Get over yourself.

542
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,600
Goddammit,
i'm special!

543
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:42,500
What the-

544
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:43,400
Agh!

545
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,100
Greetings from
the janax galaxy.

546
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,400
We seek the great
john edward!

547
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:00,900
Why that's...
that's me!

548
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,900
Sir, it is an honor
to meet you.

549
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,500
Well, thank you
very much!

550
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,000
No, it can't be.

551
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:11,000
I am quagmar and this is the
intergalactic bdiu committee.

552
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,300
Mr. Edward, it is my honor
to inform you

553
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,700
That you have been nominated for
biggest douche in the universe!

554
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,400
What?

555
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:21,900
You are the first nominee
from the milky way galaxy!

556
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,500
Congratulations!

557
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,500
Oh dude!

558
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,400
If you'll step into
our blavlefreed

559
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,600
We'll give you a first-Class
ride to the awards show!

560
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,000
No, wait,
i'm not a douche!

561
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,000
I make people feel
good about themselves!

562
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,900
I give people resolution!

563
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,200
Now do you people
believe me?

564
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,900
I don't know...

565
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,100
How'd edward know
my father died in march?

566
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,600
Goddammit that was
a long flight!

567
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,500
I thought'd we never get out of
stinky-Ass smelly scotland!

568
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,200
Oh it's so good
to have you

569
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,400
Acting like yourself
again, sweetie!

570
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,400
Well come on, we better get
kenny back to his parents.

571
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,400
Wait a minute-

572
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,100
Who's got
the pot roast?

573
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:04,700
I thought
you got it!

574
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,200
It's still at
baggage claim!

575
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:06,800
Aw dammit!

576
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,600
Come on, we
gotta find him!

577
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,000
Kenny!

578
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,500
Rob schneider is a somewhat
popular comedic actor

579
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,000
Who seemed
to have it all...

580
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:19,400
Until one day
he came across a pot roast!

581
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,900
And his life
changed forever!

582
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:27,300
Now, he's sharing his body
with an eight-Year-Old boy!

583
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:28,400
And he's about to find out

584
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:31,400
That being eight...

585
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,200
Ain't so great.

586
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,600
Rob schneider is
kenny!

587
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,500
Rated pg-13.

588
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:43,600
Live from space station zaed
in the valxen galaxy

589
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,900
It's the biggest douche
in the universe awards!

590
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,200
This year's nominees are:

591
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,500
Graglar
the destructor

592
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:56,100
Andromeda galaxy
planet j-Eleven.

593
00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:00,300
Dormanta unit five,
jalax galaxy- Planet heelm.

594
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,300
Durrrrrrr!

595
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,600
John edward, milky way galaxy,
planet earth.

596
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,100
I'm not a douche!

597
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,700
And finally,
ursala, the giant douche

598
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,200
From the horsehead nebula -
Station j-12.

599
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:18,600
And the winner for biggest
douche in the universe is...

600
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:23,000
It's john edward, milky
way galaxy, planet earth!

601
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,400
Aw, now come on now!

602
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:26,100
* here he is

603
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,600
* the biggest douche
of the universe *

604
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:30,700
* in all of the galaxies

605
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,100
* there's no bigger douche
than you *

606
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:39,600
* you've reached the top
the pinnacle of douchedom *

607
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,500
* good going, douche

608
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,800
* your dreams
have come true *

609
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,000
Derp da derp
da derp derp!

610
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,600
Derp dee derp
da teetley tum!