1
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,100
* i'm going down
to south park *

2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,600
* gonna have
myself a time *

3
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,100
* friendly faces
everywhere *

4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,200
* humble folks
without temptation *

5
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,200
* going down
to south park *

6
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,000
* gonna leave my
woes behind *

7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,700
* ample parking
day or night *

8
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,500
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *

9
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,800
* headin' on up
to south park *

10
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,000
* gonna see
if i can't unwind *

11
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:28,400
* tim-Tmah tim-Mah,
tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah *

12
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,400
* so come on down
to south park *

13
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,500
* and meet some
friends of mine *

14
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,500
Oh cool, a preview!

15
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,300
Coming this summer,

16
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,000
It's the classic film
that changed america.

17
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,700
"E.T. The extra-Terrestrial"!

18
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:45,900
The new, redone version
for 2002!

19
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,300
All the e.T. Effects have been
digitally upgraded.

20
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,700
All the guns have been digitally
changed to walkie-Talkies.

21
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,000
And the word "terrorist" has
been changed to "hippie".

22
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,300
Aw, dude, why would
they do that?

23
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,200
Yeah, hippies and terrorists
are the same thing.

24
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,000
No, dude, spielberg changed
terrorist to hippie

25
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000
To make e.T. More p.C.

26
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,900
That's gay.

27
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,500
Coming this summer,

28
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:06,400
It's the motion picture
that changed america.

29
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,500
"Saving private ryan",
the re-Re-Release,

30
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,500
Where the word "nazi"
has been changed to

31
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,400
"Persons with political
differences".

32
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:15,400
And all the guns have been
replaced by walkie-Talkies.

33
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,000
Why the hell do these directors
keep updating their movies?!

34
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,900
And now for your
feature presentation!

35
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,900
The classic re-Re-Re-Release

36
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,800
Of "star wars: the empire
strikes back!

37
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,300
Woo hoo!

38
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,000
Aaaaaghhh!

39
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,400
God dammit,
that pisses me off!

40
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,900
Yeah, we want
our money back!

41
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,300
Sorry, suckers!

42
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,800
You asshole!

43
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,300
Why don't they leave
those movies alone!

44
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,800
We liked them the way
they were!

45
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,200
Don't you see
what this means?

46
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,300
All our favorite movies are
going to be changed and updated

47
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,100
Until we can't even
recognize them anymore!

48
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,200
Tweek is right.

49
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,700
It isn't fair for those
asshole directors

50
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,200
To keep changing their movies
and making them different!

51
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,900
Movies are art and art
shouldn't be modified!

52
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,200
Yeah, what if
they had modified

53
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,400
The roman colosseum
every year?

54
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,200
It would just be another
big "douchie" stadium now!

55
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:07,900
We have to
do something!

56
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:08,800
Let's form a club!

57
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,800
Yeah, we could
form a club

58
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,100
That takes food stamps
from poor people

59
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,600
And then sells them back to
the government for a profit!

60
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,000
No, fat-Ass!

61
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,000
I mean a club to protect
films from their directors

62
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,600
So they can't be
messed with!

63
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:20,300
Yeah, we'll be the "save films
from their own directors' club".

64
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,200
Yeah!

65
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,300
No!
No, no!

66
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,000
I don't wanna form a club!
That's too much pressure!

67
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000
Look, i'm supposed to
take it easy.

68
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,700
Just watch the clouds,
sit in the grass.

69
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,500
If we form a club there'll be
responsibilities,

70
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:29,000
Commitments!

71
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:29,900
Tweek, now god dammit,

72
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,900
We picked you to
replace kenny

73
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,600
Because we thought you were
a team player!

74
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:33,600
I'm not!

75
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,400
I'm not
a team player!

76
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,800
Now either you stop with
these "faggotronics"

77
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:37,900
Or we'll find someone
to replace you!

78
00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,200
Aaagh!
Oh, jesus!

79
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,300
Dude, that sign sucks,
nobody's gonna show up!

80
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,500
What's wrong with it?

81
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,600
Look at it, dude,

82
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,200
You're not offering
any fabulous prizes.

83
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,800
You have to offer
fabulous prizes

84
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:51,600
If you want people to show up
for your stupid crap.

85
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,500
Here...

86
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:56,900
Free hat?

87
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,700
Yeah, if you offer free hats,
maybe people will show up.

88
00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,800
But we don't
have hats!

89
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:00,800
We can make them
out of paper.

90
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:02,400
It's not hard, just stupid
little paper hats.

91
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,200
People just need free stuff.

92
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,000
Don't you guys
know anything?

93
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,100
You see?

94
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,700
First we were just forming a
club, now we have to make hats!

95
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:09,800
Where does it end?!

96
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,000
Alright, let's go get
the gymnasium ready.

97
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:11,700
Tweek, you go make
50 hats.

98
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,000
50 hats?
Oh jesus!

99
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:17,400
I'll never make it!
I'll never make it!

100
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,400
Tweek!

101
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,000
Calm down, son.

102
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,400
Remember what
dr. Norris told you-

103
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,700
Find your center.

104
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:23,700
My center?

105
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,500
My center.

106
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:28,200
Calm... puppies.

107
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,800
Tweek!

108
00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:36,300
Tweek!

109
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,500
Tweeeeeekk!

110
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,100
How many hats
have you made?

111
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,200
Oh god!

112
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,100
We only have until 10 a.M.
Tomorrow, get the lead out!

113
00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:43,300
Aagh, oh god!

114
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:48,300
You guys,
we have a big problem!

115
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,200
I was up all night
making hats-

116
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,500
I only slept for an hour-

117
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,300
And then i dreamt about
making hats!

118
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,400
But i only made 15!

119
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,100
Calm down, tweek.
15 might be enough.

120
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,700
Yeah, let's see if anyone's
even shown up yet.

121
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,500
Dude, there's like a thousand
people in there!

122
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,100
A thousand?
Oh jesus, man!

123
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,600
I don't have nearly
a thousand hats!

124
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,000
They're gonna kick
your ass, tweek!

125
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,100
Tweek, it's okay!

126
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,900
Look, maybe these people
all turned out

127
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,500
Because they believe
in saving films!

128
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,300
Maybe they don't even care
about the free hat!

129
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,100
Free hat!
Free hat!...

130
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,000
Oh god!

131
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,100
I told you guys-

132
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,500
Never underestimate
the power of a free hat.

133
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,300
I gotta move away,
you guys!

134
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,200
Relax, tweek, we're just gonna
have to go in there

135
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,000
And explain what happened.

136
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:31,200
There are more important things
right now than free hats.

137
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,000
Okay, uh, we wanna thank you
all for coming.

138
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,600
We're really happy to see such
enthusiasm for our cause.

139
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,100
Uh, one thing
before i continue:

140
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:44,300
Unfortunately, we don't have enough
of the free hats for everyone.

141
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,600
Uh, excuse me?

142
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,100
Yes, we apologize,
but our friend tweek here,

143
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:51,400
Didn't make
enough of them.

144
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,200
Oh jesus, don't
tell them it was me!

145
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,800
We don't care about that.

146
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,900
You don't?

147
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,900
You mean you just came because
you believe in our cause?

148
00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:58,200
Yeah, free hat!

149
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,000
What?!

150
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,200
Hat mccullough!

151
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,200
He was sent to
prison in '82

152
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,400
And we believe he should
be released!

153
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,200
Yeah!

154
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,400
Free hat!
Free hat!...

155
00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:11,600
Okay, apparently, there's been
a bit of a misunderstanding.

156
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,500
This is a rally to save films
from their directors.

157
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,900
To do what?

158
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,700
We believe that films are pieces
of art that must be preserved

159
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,100
From the perverse hands
of their aging filmmakers.

160
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,700
Oh... sorry.

161
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,800
Come on, everyone, guess
we're in the wrong place.

162
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,600
Free hat!
Free hat!

163
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,300
Wait, wait, wait!

164
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,800
Don't you see what's happening
out there?

165
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,500
The films that you all grew up
with, that touched your lives

166
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,200
And are a part of your soul, are
now being updated and changed.

167
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,000
Join us and we can be a group
that makes a difference!

168
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,500
Can we also work towards
freeing hat?

169
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,000
Uh, sure, and we'll also
try to free hat.

170
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:50,100
Free hat!
Free hat!...

171
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,800
212, 213, 214 members!

172
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,800
You guys, you guys!

173
00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:57,700
Oh god!
I've got terrible news!

174
00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,800
What?

175
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,100
Ted koppel wants us
to appear on "nightline"

176
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,100
To talk about our cause!

177
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,500
Really?
That's great!

178
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:04,800
No, it isn't, man!

179
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,300
That is way
too much pressure!

180
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,800
If we go on nightline, the whole
country can hear about

181
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,500
What's happening to
our classic films!

182
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,200
Just remember that
i do all the talking.

183
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,200
You? Why?

184
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:13,800
Because i'm the
official spokesman.

185
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:14,900
I got dibs on it.

186
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,400
When did we do
dibs for it?

187
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,500
Just now.
One two three- Dibs!

188
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,000
Knee.

189
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,100
Alright, fine, you're
the spokesman, cartman.

190
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,200
But you better not
screw it up!

191
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,200
What could
possibly go wrong?

192
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,000
A new movement is
sweeping the country,

193
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:29,200
Led by four determined boys
from south park, colorado.

194
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:32,200
The organization was created
to protect hollywood's

195
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,100
Classic films from the hands
of their directors,

196
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,100
And also to free
hat mccullough.

197
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,600
So boys, i'll ask you the question
that's on everyone's minds.

198
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:42,200
Why does your organization want
to free hat mccullough,

199
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,900
The convicted, confessed serial
murderer of 23 babies?

200
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,000
I believe that can
best be answered

201
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,500
By our official
spokesman, tweek.

202
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:52,900
Agh!

203
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:55,000
Well, hat mccullough admitted
he killed those toddlers,

204
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,700
Why do you want him free?

205
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,000
Oh, jesus, man!

206
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,400
Just answer me
this, tweek-

207
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,600
What do you see as positive
about toddler murder?

208
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:08,000
Uh, uh, it's...
it's easy?

209
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,400
Yes, it is easy.

210
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,500
Alright, then on to
your other cause.

211
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,200
"Saving films from
their directors".

212
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,900
What got you boys
interested in this?

213
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:18,100
Especially given your
pro-Toddler murder status.

214
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,200
We believe that films have to be
taken away from people like

215
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:22,300
Steven spielberg and george
lucas because they're insane.

216
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,500
I'm glad you said that, boys,
because joining us now

217
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,600
Are steven spielberg
and george lucas!

218
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:27,200
Oh christ, agh!

219
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,900
Hello, ted.
Hi, ted.

220
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,700
Gentlemen, these toddler murder
fans think that you're insane

221
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,500
And shouldn't be allowed to
alter your films. Your response?

222
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,700
Well, first of all,
both george and i

223
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,000
Are very firmly against
the murdering of toddlers.

224
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:39,900
Hear, hear.

225
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,300
Dude, that's steven spielberg
and george lucas.

226
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,500
Get me out of here!

227
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,700
Please somebody get me
out of here!

228
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:44,900
And as for
altering our films,

229
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,600
All we're doing reaching a
new audience with our movies.

230
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,300
As the makers of dreams, we like
to speak for the children.

231
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,100
Uh, we thought we were
speaking for the children.

232
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,200
Yeah, we're children.

233
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,600
Look, if the beatles went back
and updated "the white album"

234
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,400
Every few years,
what would we have now?

235
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,400
Yeah, these guys are only
motivated by money, ted.

236
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,500
How so?

237
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,400
Think about it-
Jew.

238
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,900
Jew.
Jew.

239
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:06,300
Coincidence?

240
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,700
I'm not a jew!

241
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,900
You little brats- I mean,
you darling children

242
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,700
Don't know what
you're talking about.

243
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,200
Changing e.T. Was the
best thing i ever did.

244
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,700
Dude, don't you see
that it's not?

245
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,100
It'd be like changing
"raiders of the lost ark"!

246
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,200
Wait a minute,
what did you say?

247
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,600
That's brilliant!

248
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,900
Yes, change raiders
of the lost ark,

249
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,200
Why didn't we
think of it before?

250
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,100
No! No!

251
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,600
Members, this is our
darkest hour.

252
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:36,300
We have just learned that
george lucas and steven spielberg

253
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,000
Now intend to update and change
"raiders of the lost ark".

254
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,900
There is only one way we can
stop this important,

255
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,100
Historical piece of art
from being harmed.

256
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,400
Mr. Secretary?

257
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,600
Thank you.

258
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,300
Our intelligence tells us that
the original negative

259
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,600
To raiders of the lost ark

260
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,400
Is currently somewhere
in george lucas' house.

261
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,200
We need to find
and usurp that negative.

262
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,000
And if we can get a hold
of the negative,

263
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,200
They can't change
the movie?

264
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,300
That's our
understanding.

265
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,400
Sounds like
a good idea to me!

266
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,200
I don't want them to change
raiders of the lost ark!

267
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,600
Yeah!

268
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:05,700
We should get that negative
as soon as we get hat free!

269
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,600
Yeah!

270
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,000
Free hat!
Free hat!

271
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,800
No, no, we need to do
this first.

272
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,400
But we have to free hat.

273
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,500
It's just that, you know,
he killed 23 babies.

274
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,700
Yeah, but it was
in self-Defense!

275
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,000
Yeah!
Yeah!

276
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,600
He killed 23 babies
in self-Defense?

277
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:23,100
Hat was attacked maliciously
and unprovoked

278
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,000
By a gang of babies
in westown park.

279
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,900
When that many babies
get together

280
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,400
They can be like piranha.

281
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,300
Three eyewitnesses
testified that

282
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:33,200
If hat hadn't killed those
babies, they'd a killed him!

283
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,800
Yeah!
Free hat! Free hat!

284
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:37,000
Alright, but right now
we gotta focus on

285
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,100
Getting those original
prints of raiders.

286
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,500
He's right,
we better split up.

287
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,900
Some of you go with the boys
to get those film prints,

288
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,200
The rest come with me

289
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,600
To go talk to the governor
about freeing hat!

290
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:47,200
Yeah!

291
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,400
Free hat!
Free hat!...

292
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:55,900
Well, looks like we're gonna
have to do this ourselves.

293
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:57,300
No, that's it!
I'm out!

294
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,200
I can't deal with the stress
you guys create!

295
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,400
We're just gonna
fly to california

296
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,700
And break into george
lucas' house-

297
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,300
What's stressful
about that?

298
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,100
Aagh!

299
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,500
Okay, tweek, let me
tell you something.

300
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,100
You've been our new friend now
for two weeks, okay?

301
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,600
And i've gotta be honest with
you, it isn't going well.

302
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:10,100
People aren't that into you,
tweek, they find you annoying.

303
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,800
Now i'd say you've got
one last shot here,

304
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,800
And i don't want you
to blow it, okay?

305
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,700
Does that help take
the stress off?

306
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:21,600
Okay, go.

307
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,500
I'm not breaking into
george lucas' house.

308
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,600
I'm not breaking
into george lucas' house.

309
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,900
I'm in a green field.

310
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,700
Shut up, tweek, this is not
the time for "faggocity"!

311
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,600
This looks like
the right room.

312
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,500
I'm in a field,
surrounded by deer.

313
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:35,600
Over here!

314
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:46,600
That's it!

315
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,200
Alright,
get it, tweek!

316
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,300
Nu-Uh!

317
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,700
Get it,
you piece of crap

318
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,300
Before i grab your nutsack
and twist it!

319
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,900
What are you doing?!

320
00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,300
Oh god!
Oh jesus!

321
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:01,200
You're the boys from
that stupid club!

322
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:01,900
Gimme that!

323
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,800
Do with us
what you will, mr. Lucas,

324
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:06,400
But please don't change
raiders of the lost ark.

325
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,300
We're gonna
make it better.

326
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,800
The movie is gonna be changed
and that is that!

327
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:10,800
Alright, you asked for it.

328
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,800
I'm afraid you
leave us no choice!

329
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:13,400
It's time for plan b.!

330
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,400
Aw, really?

331
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,800
Oh god,
not plan b.!

332
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,700
You have a heart
made of ice, mr. Lucas,

333
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,600
So we're going to
melt your icy heart

334
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,600
With a cool island song.

335
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,100
Gentlemen?

336
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,600
What?!

337
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:28,400
Hit it, tweek!

338
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,300
* in the tropical isles
with the coconut trees- *

339
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,600
Wait, wait!

340
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:35,500
I thought we were gonna
cool his hot heart

341
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,200
With a cool island song.

342
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,800
No, he has a icy heart.

343
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,900
But you can't melt ice with
a cool song, r-Tard!

344
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,400
So we have to warm
his icy heart

345
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,800
With a hot
island song?

346
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,100
It's a cool island song!

347
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,700
Then we're gonna end up
freezing his hellish heart

348
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,000
With a cool island song.

349
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,300
Aw, do we wanna
do that?

350
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,700
Alright, that does it!

351
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,400
Yes, thank you,
officer.

352
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,600
The police are
on their way, boys.

353
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,500
Soon you'll be in jail
getting rammed!

354
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,800
Aagh!

355
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,400
Those rams can do to us what
they will, mr. Lucas,

356
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,900
But we'll never stop
trying to protect films!

357
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,100
It's not too late
to do what's right.

358
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,500
Give us the print.

359
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,100
There's still some good
in you, mr. Lucas,

360
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,400
We know there is!

361
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,900
It is... too late
for me, boys.

362
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,300
You yourself
led the campaign

363
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,800
Against the colorization
of films.

364
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,400
You understand why films
shouldn't be changed!

365
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,200
That's different.

366
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,900
These are my movies,
i made them,

367
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:24,600
And i have the right to do
whatever i want with them.

368
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:25,600
You're wrong,
mr. Lucas.

369
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,100
They're not your movies,
they're ours.

370
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,100
All of ours.

371
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,500
We paid to go see them,

372
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,000
And they're just as much a part
of our lives

373
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,200
As they are of yours.

374
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,200
When an artist creates,

375
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:37,000
Whatever they create
belongs to society.

376
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,100
Have i...
become so old

377
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:43,100
That i've forgotten what
being an artist is about?

378
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:45,400
Give the print to us so that we
can protect it from spielberg

379
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,000
And anyone else
who wants to alter it.

380
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,600
Perhaps...
you are right.

381
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,100
Stop!

382
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,700
What are you
doing, george?

383
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,100
Steven, i-

384
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,100
Give me that print,
george.

385
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,000
We need to make
the alterations.

386
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,700
Steven, these boys
had a point.

387
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,400
I don't remember what
it was, but it was good.

388
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,400
You haven't let these
doe-Eyed children

389
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,300
Affect your judgment,
have you, george?

390
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,800
Don't forget-
You belong to me.

391
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,600
Don't listen to him!

392
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:16,300
You still have a chance to
preserve your film!

393
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:24,200
I'm...
i'm sorry, boys.

394
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,800
Ha ha ha-Haaaa!

395
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:30,700
Now, take the children
prisoner!

396
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,600
What?!

397
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,700
You troublemakers shall be
my guests of honor

398
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,300
At the premiere of the new
raiders of the lost ark!

399
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,500
Your gay little club
is over!

400
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,400
You,
steven spielberg!

401
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,100
Come on, you guys!

402
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,800
Oh my god, they're
gonna kill us!

403
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,300
Don't even
think about it, kid!

404
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:48,200
I'm not afraid to use
this walkie-Talkie.

405
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,800
The one with the cocaine
problem escaped, mein director!

406
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,700
Leave him!

407
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,400
Let him run back
to his mommy.

408
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,800
We must get the film ready
for the premiere.

409
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,800
Lucas! Come!

410
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,200
It's the digitally
re-Enhanced re-Release

411
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,000
Of the very first, pilot episode
of "south park"!

412
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,800
Yes, the classic, rough,
hand-Made first episode

413
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,300
Is getting a makeover
for 2002!

414
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,900
The simple, funny aliens are now
super bad-Ass and cool!

415
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:16,200
The flying saucer?

416
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:18,500
No longer cheap construction
paper- But a 4.0 megapixel

417
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:21,000
Non-Drop digital masterpiece
of technology!

418
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,700
Yes, everything's new.
New is better!

419
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:25,000
When we first made
south park,

420
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,600
We didn't want to use
construction paper,

421
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,400
We just had to
because it was cheap.

422
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,100
Now with new technology we can
finally re-Master south park

423
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,400
To make it look sharp,
clean and focused.

424
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,000
And expensive.

425
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,100
Yes, all the charm of
the simple little cartoon

426
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,500
Will melt before your eyes

427
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,700
As it is replaced by newer and
more standardized animation!

428
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,300
For instance, the scene
at the bus stop.

429
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,900
We always meant to have imperial
walkers and giant dewback lizards

430
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,400
In the background, but
simply couldn't afford it.

431
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,100
Get this special enhanced
version quick!

432
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,800
Because another enhanced version
will likely be coming out for 2003!

433
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,700
Members!

434
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,200
Uh, oh jesus-
You have to do something!

435
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,600
Our club's president, treasurer,
and secretary

436
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,000
Have all been taken hostage
by steven spielberg!

437
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,200
Agh!

438
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:08,500
Prisoner?
You mean like hat?

439
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,000
Yes, just like hat!

440
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,800
But the governor
won't pardon hat,

441
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,600
So how can we get him
out of prison?

442
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,300
Yeah!

443
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:16,100
No, listen to me!

444
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:19,900
We're not talking about
hat right now, okay?

445
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:20,700
Get it?!

446
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,800
Look, we went to
george lucas' house

447
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:25,600
And tried to melt his icy heart
with a warm island song,

448
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:26,900
But then spielberg showed up

449
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,300
And took three of
our members prisoner!

450
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,200
They're going to premiere the
new raiders of the lost ark

451
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,400
And we have to rescue them,
do you understand?!

452
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,800
Hey, he's got
a point there.

453
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:39,400
Yeah, maybe we could melt
the governor's icy heart

454
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:40,400
With a cool
island song!

455
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,800
Yeah!
Let's go!

456
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:43,700
No!

457
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:44,600
No?

458
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,900
No, he's right.

459
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,600
We have to freeze his hot heart
with a cool island song!

460
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,500
Or is it freshen his hot temper
with a cool island song?

461
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,300
Let's cool his hot temper
with a fresh island song!

462
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,700
That's it!

463
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,300
Oh god, i'm gonna have to
do this myself!

464
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:02,500
Oh god!

465
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,800
Well, the print is finished
and the day has come!

466
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,600
Tonight, steven spielberg
and george lucas

467
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,000
Will be at the premiere of
the new, special edition

468
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,400
Of raiders of the lost ark.

469
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,500
Lots of celebrity guests
and other rich people

470
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,500
Will be on hand to witness
all the updated effects

471
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,900
And modernized technology!

472
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,200
Ho-Oh!

473
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,400
The kid?

474
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,100
The tweeked-Out kid?

475
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,300
I'm gonna blow up
the print, spielberg!

476
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,800
Your persistence
surprises even me.

477
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:49,100
Surely you don't think you can
escape from this premiere?

478
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,600
That depends on how reasonable
we're all willing to be.

479
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,600
All i want
are my friends.

480
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,500
Wow...

481
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,000
Except for cartman,
you can keep him.

482
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,200
Ah!

483
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,500
And if we refuse?

484
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,000
Then your premiere
has no movie!

485
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,900
He's definitely
lost it.

486
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,000
Yup.

487
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,400
Okay, okay,
stand back.

488
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,600
Stand back, back!

489
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,800
Okay, kid, you win,
blow it up.

490
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,700
<i>Zuroch!
Zuroch!</i>

491
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,600
Blow it back to god.

492
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,700
All your life has been the
pursuit of seeing a great film.

493
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,100
This new version of raiders
has digital effects

494
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:23,000
Beyond your wildest dreams.

495
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:26,800
You want to see it screened
just as much as i.

496
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,200
Come on, tweek,
blow it up!

497
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:32,200
Son, we are simply passing
through history.

498
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:35,600
This- Is improved history.

499
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:43,900
Do as you will.

500
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:52,000
* in the tropical isles
with the coconut trees *

501
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,400
* the air is fresh and
the people are free *

502
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,300
* but here in the mountains
there's no freedom like that *

503
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,900
* there's a man in prison
and his name is hat *

504
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,100
<i>Haffaaa mali fi!</i>

505
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,200
Thanks for coming,
everyone!

506
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,700
This is the birth
of the new version

507
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,800
Of raiders
of the lost ark!

508
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,100
We shall screen it here
and then destroy

509
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,800
All the old prints
in celebration!

510
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,300
Hooray!

511
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:37,100
Begin the film!

512
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:41,500
Ohh, aaahh!

513
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,300
You guys!

514
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,300
Close your eyes,
don't look at it!

515
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,200
What?

516
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,800
Don't watch the movie,
you guys!

517
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,300
It'll be terrible,
close your eyes!

518
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,200
Oohhh...
aahh...

519
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,100
It's beautiful!

520
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,700
Wait a minute.

521
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,200
This version
is awful!

522
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,500
Yeah, they ruined it!

523
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,300
Oh my god,
it's terrible!

524
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,700
Aaaagh!

525
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,200
You...
you guys okay?

526
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,100
Yeah, i think so.

527
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,300
Man, that new version
must've sucked balls.

528
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,600
Today is a day
of celebration!

529
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,000
And we owe it all to these
four brave, young boys!

530
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,300
Yeah!
Alright!

531
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,700
And thanks to the bravery of
this young man in particular-

532
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:23,000
Hat mccullough is finally
free from prison!

533
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:26,700
What?

534
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,800
Hat! Hat! Hat!...

535
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:31,900
Thank you, everyone-
Kill the innocent!

536
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,200
Uh, i'm so thankful for all your
support- Rape the virgin!

537
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:40,500
And uh, i just wonder if i could
get a baby real quick?

538
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,300
Sure, give that
man a baby!

539
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,200
Come on, you guys,
let's get outta here.

540
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,600
Oh my god!

541
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,100
Do you think we did
a good thing, stan?

542
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,100
I mean, no one even
seemed to notice.

543
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,100
Yeah, well, sometimes
the things we do

544
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,300
Don't matter right now.

545
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,700
Sometimes they matter
later.

546
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,800
We have to care more about later
sometimes, you know?

547
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:02,100
I think that's what separates us
from the steven spielbergs

548
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,100
And george lucases
of the world.

549
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:05,600
That and youth-
Those guys are old.

550
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,100
But what about the
original prints

551
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,900
Of raiders
of the lost ark?!

552
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,400
What if somebody else takes
them and tries to change them?

553
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,300
Don't worry, tweek,
it's somewhere safe,

554
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,300
Somewhere where nobody
will ever find it.