1 00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:19,005 Ok children, let's take our seats. 2 00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:21,849 This morning we're going to have a special lecture 3 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,850 from your school counselor, Mr. Mackee. 4 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:30,119 Now, now, who was that? That is not appropriate behavior, mmkay? 5 00:02:30,248 --> 00:02:32,239 I'm sorry Mr. Mackee, mmkay? 6 00:02:32,288 --> 00:02:35,194 - Uh, that's ok, just don't let it happen again. 7 00:02:35,195 --> 00:02:38,495 We won't let it happen again Mr. Mackee, mmkay? 8 00:02:38,608 --> 00:02:40,838 - Ok, ok, that's fine. - Mmkay? 9 00:02:40,968 --> 00:02:42,686 Ok. 10 00:02:42,928 --> 00:02:47,669 No, uh, as your counselor, I'm here to tell you about drugs and alcohol 11 00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:49,270 and why they're bad, mmkay? 12 00:02:49,488 --> 00:02:53,481 So, first of all, uh, smoking's bad. You shouldn't smoke. 13 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:57,078 And, uh, alcohol is bad. You shouldn't drink alcohol. 14 00:02:57,208 --> 00:03:01,486 And, uh, as for drugs, well, drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. 15 00:03:01,608 --> 00:03:04,645 Ok, that about wraps up my introduction. Now, uh, are there any questions? 16 00:03:05,448 --> 00:03:08,121 - Yes, Stan. - Why do dogs have cold noses? 17 00:03:08,248 --> 00:03:10,318 Uh, well, I'm not sure. 18 00:03:11,248 --> 00:03:14,843 No, uh, let's focus our discussion first on mari-ja-uana. 19 00:03:14,968 --> 00:03:19,439 Mari-ja-uana's bad. And it also has a very distinct smell, mmkay? 20 00:03:19,568 --> 00:03:23,883 I'm gonna pass around just a little tiny bit, and I want you all to take a smell 21 00:03:23,884 --> 00:03:26,984 so you know when someone is smoking mari-ja-uana near you. 22 00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:31,763 Mmkay, take a smell, pass it on, and when it gets back up to me, we'll finish talking about it. 23 00:03:31,888 --> 00:03:36,723 In the meantime, I want to get into alcohol a little, mmkay? Alcohol is bad, kay? 24 00:03:36,848 --> 00:03:39,649 - If you drink alcohol you should uh.... - Hey, are you guys 25 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:40,950 gonna come to Ike's party this weekend? 26 00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:44,484 - Your little brother's having a party? Why, is it his birthday? - No, it's his Bris. 27 00:03:44,608 --> 00:03:48,078 -What the hell is a Bris? - I don't know, but there's going to be lots of food, and a band. 28 00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:52,804 - Oh, kick ass, I want to have a Bris. - And so, uh, that's why alcohol is bad. 29 00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:55,567 Uh, has, has that mari-ja-uana made it back up here yet? 30 00:03:56,328 --> 00:03:57,807 No, oh, oh, okay. 31 00:03:57,928 --> 00:04:02,524 Let's talk about LSD. Uh, children, LSD is, is bad. 32 00:04:02,648 --> 00:04:05,958 It's a drug made famous by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. 33 00:04:06,088 --> 00:04:09,478 - Hey, are we supposed to get your little brother presents for a Bris? - Uh, I'm not sure. 34 00:04:09,608 --> 00:04:12,247 - Dude, you better find out. - Boys, are you paying attention? 35 00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:14,494 - Sorry Mr. Mackee, mmkay? 36 00:04:14,495 --> 00:04:18,495 - Mmkay. Now children, has that mari-ja-uana made it around yet? 37 00:04:20,768 --> 00:04:23,077 Uh, who, who has the mari-ja-uana now? 38 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:30,002 Oh, oh, okay, whoev, whoever has the marijauana, just pass it up to the front row, mmkay? 39 00:04:32,328 --> 00:04:36,480 I am very disappointed in you young man. You should be ashamed of yourself. 40 00:04:36,608 --> 00:04:40,886 - What could have possessed you to be so stupid? - I'm sorry Principal Victoria. 41 00:04:41,008 --> 00:04:43,877 Wehell, sorry isn't going to cut the cheese this time mister. 42 00:04:43,878 --> 00:04:46,000 I'm afraid I'm going to have to suspend you from school. 43 00:04:46,048 --> 00:04:49,882 - You mean I'm fired? - Well I guess that's the grown up way to put it, yes. 44 00:04:50,008 --> 00:04:53,261 But, but it was an honest error of judgement, mmkay? 45 00:04:53,262 --> 00:04:56,562 I, I really thought it was important for the kids to know the smell of marihuana, mmkay? 46 00:04:56,688 --> 00:05:00,397 It was an error of judgement Mr. Mackee, but I'm afraid I have to let you go for it. 47 00:05:00,528 --> 00:05:02,883 We searched each one of those kids, but came up empty. 48 00:05:03,008 --> 00:05:04,346 We had to let them go home, 49 00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,947 and one of them now has have a lid of Jamaican grass because of you! 50 00:05:07,088 --> 00:05:12,208 How, how am I going to make ends meet, mmkay? What, what will I do for money? 51 00:05:12,328 --> 00:05:15,284 There, there now. Maybe this will all blow over someday 52 00:05:15,285 --> 00:05:18,985 and we can give you a job as a janitor cleaning up vomit with that pink sawdust stuff. 53 00:05:19,848 --> 00:05:21,884 Mmkay. 54 00:05:25,328 --> 00:05:28,957 - Man, that sucked getting searched. - Yeh, my ass is killing me. 55 00:05:29,088 --> 00:05:33,320 - Why did they search us? That marihuana never even made it to us. - I wonder who took it. 56 00:05:35,688 --> 00:05:38,760 And now it's almost time for Bo-bo's. 57 00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:45,361 - Hello there children. - Hey, Chef. How's it goin'? 58 00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:49,163 - Bad. - Why bad? - Children, I heard about what happened at school today. 59 00:05:49,288 --> 00:05:53,247 - Now none of you took that nasty marijuana did you? - No dude! We never even saw it. 60 00:05:53,368 --> 00:05:57,600 Ok, because I just want to tell you that drugs are bad. 61 00:05:57,728 --> 00:06:02,165 - We know, we know, that's what everybody says. - Right, but do you know why they're bad? 62 00:06:02,288 --> 00:06:05,000 Because they're an addictive solution to a greater problem causing disease of both 63 00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:07,401 body and mind with consequences far outweighing their supposed benefits. 64 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:10,127 And do you have any idea what that means? 65 00:06:10,648 --> 00:06:15,487 - No. - I know, drugs are bad because if you do drugs, you're a hippie, and hippies suck. 66 00:06:15,588 --> 00:06:18,476 - Look children, this is all I'm going to say about drugs: 67 00:06:18,608 --> 00:06:22,840 Stay away from them, there's a time and a place for everything, 68 00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:27,086 - and it's called college. Do you understand? - Sure. 69 00:06:27,168 --> 00:06:29,887 - Ok. - Hey, are you going to come to Ike's Bris this weekend? 70 00:06:30,008 --> 00:06:32,647 Oh hell no, I can't bear to see that. 71 00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:37,478 - What do you mean? - Don't you boys know what a Bris is? They're going to circumcise him. 72 00:06:37,608 --> 00:06:40,520 - What's that? - Oh boy, here we go again. 73 00:06:41,328 --> 00:06:47,198 Children, uh, what's the one thing that's more sacred to a man than anything else in the world? 74 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,687 - Uh, bicycles? - Ham? 75 00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:52,800 - No, not ham you fat fuck! - Screw you! It's ham isn't it? 76 00:06:52,928 --> 00:06:57,160 No, no, no children, I'm talking about the most important part of a man's body. 77 00:06:57,288 --> 00:06:58,767 - Your heart? - Your eyes? 78 00:07:00,068 --> 00:07:01,427 Oh, your penis. 79 00:07:01,428 --> 00:07:02,364 That's right. 80 00:07:02,408 --> 00:07:05,148 Hey, my mom says you're not supposed to call it a penis Kenny. 81 00:07:05,149 --> 00:07:06,749 You're supposed to call it a fireman. 82 00:07:06,888 --> 00:07:09,925 - A fireman? - That's the proper way to say it, or else you get a spanking. 83 00:07:10,048 --> 00:07:13,953 Damn it children. Why do I always have to be the one to explain all this stuff to you? 84 00:07:13,954 --> 00:07:15,354 Ask your parents for once. 85 00:07:15,448 --> 00:07:17,040 Hey, wait! 86 00:07:17,168 --> 00:07:19,602 Dude, something tells me this Bris thing isn't good. 87 00:07:20,928 --> 00:07:25,365 Hey Mackee, you got any more pot? My four year old needs a fix. 88 00:07:26,648 --> 00:07:31,119 Hey Mackee, now we see what you and Homer Simpson have in common. Dope!! 89 00:07:31,928 --> 00:07:35,967 Hey Mackee, who do you think you are you stupid drug taking hippie?!? 90 00:07:36,968 --> 00:07:38,526 - Hey, you stoned man? - You wanna do some drugs? 91 00:07:42,488 --> 00:07:45,032 Hell, I don't think I've seen you around here before. 92 00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:49,733 No, I, I just, I had to get away, mmkay? I just lost my job. 93 00:07:49,848 --> 00:07:54,000 Ah, that's weak man. You know what you need? You need a good, stiff drink. 94 00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:58,440 - Oh, uh, I, I don't drink, mmkay? - Trust me man, it'll make you feel better. 95 00:07:59,528 --> 00:08:01,246 Uh, drinking's bad. 96 00:08:01,608 --> 00:08:05,442 Go ahead, drink the beer. It'll calm you down. 97 00:08:06,888 --> 00:08:10,563 Yeh, why the hell not? It's just a beer. Don't be such a pussy, mmkay? 98 00:08:14,408 --> 00:08:17,559 - So, how do you feel? - Oh, about the same. 99 00:08:17,688 --> 00:08:19,997 Ah, you just need something a little stronger. 100 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,278 - Kyle, you have to stop them! - Stop who? 101 00:08:23,408 --> 00:08:27,003 - Dude, I found out what a Bris is. I found out what they're going to do to Ike. - What? 102 00:08:27,128 --> 00:08:29,961 They're going to chop off his wee-wee! 103 00:08:31,368 --> 00:08:34,806 - Chop off his wee-wee! Are you sure? - Yeh dude! It's a Jewish tradition. 104 00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:36,607 It's called a circumsticion. 105 00:08:36,768 --> 00:08:40,355 - Dude, that is not cool! Chopping off wee-wees is not cool! 106 00:08:40,356 --> 00:08:42,456 That can't be true! My parents wouldn't do that! 107 00:08:42,568 --> 00:08:43,868 Dude, I asked five different people. 108 00:08:43,869 --> 00:08:45,562 They said all Jewish boys have circumsticions, 109 00:08:45,563 --> 00:08:47,763 and the, and they make it into a party called a Bris. 110 00:08:47,848 --> 00:08:50,726 You don't just chop off somebody's fireman!? 111 00:08:50,848 --> 00:08:53,726 I won't believe it! I won't! I have to ask my mom and dad! 112 00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:57,727 We are young, mmkay? 113 00:08:57,728 --> 00:09:01,728 Heartache to heartache... we stand, mmkay? 114 00:09:01,729 --> 00:09:05,729 No promises, no demands, mands, mands, mkay? 115 00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:11,759 - Uh, is this my house? - Your key ain't gonna work Mackee. I changed the locks. 116 00:09:11,888 --> 00:09:14,960 - Why Mr. Freely? - I'm not rentin' to you anymore. 117 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,398 I heard that you got fired from your job for selling drugs to children. 118 00:09:18,528 --> 00:09:21,964 No, no, no, mmkay? It, it wasn't like that. 119 00:09:22,088 --> 00:09:24,035 Drugs are an illegal narcotic! 120 00:09:24,036 --> 00:09:27,736 And having never taken drugs, I can say that they have nothing to offer. 121 00:09:27,848 --> 00:09:33,400 - But I've never taken drugs either. - I've never taken drugs and look at me. I'm totally fine. 122 00:09:33,528 --> 00:09:36,565 Now get off my property before I lose control and kill you. 123 00:09:39,848 --> 00:09:42,408 Drug user! Drug user! 124 00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:44,509 Come back here... 125 00:09:45,728 --> 00:09:48,117 - Just a little higher. - Mom, dad! 126 00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:52,400 Oh, hi boobala, I'm glad you're here. You can help us decorate for the party? 127 00:09:52,528 --> 00:09:55,998 - Your mother's made gahagafaka. - What the hell is gafagafaka? 128 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,483 Mom, dad, what exactly is this party for? 129 00:09:59,168 --> 00:10:03,081 To celebrate your little brother's passage into life. 130 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:05,597 - Meaning what? - Meaning we're going to circumcise him. 131 00:10:06,328 --> 00:10:10,003 - They are going to cut off his fireman! - It's Jewish tradition, Booby. 132 00:10:10,128 --> 00:10:12,340 Normally we do it right after the baby is born 133 00:10:12,341 --> 00:10:14,341 but we had to do it later for Ike because he's a... 134 00:10:19,008 --> 00:10:22,559 Oh, now what's gotten into him?!? Stan, will you go talk to him? 135 00:10:23,528 --> 00:10:26,838 Let us cut off your pee-pee, Stan!! 136 00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:31,917 Oy, what is the matter with them? 137 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,801 - I can't believe my parents are cannibals. - What are you going to do, dude? 138 00:10:34,928 --> 00:10:36,110 I have to save my little brother. 139 00:10:36,111 --> 00:10:39,211 I have to send him away until my parents come to their senses. 140 00:10:39,328 --> 00:10:41,080 - Come on, Ike. - Hidee how. 141 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,465 - Cover me for a while. I'll find a place to hide him and come back. 142 00:10:43,466 --> 00:10:46,766 - No way dude! We're not staying alone in your house with your wee-wee chopping parents! 143 00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:48,780 Just give me thirty minutes. Come on Ike. 144 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:54,162 Oh, I can't sleep, it's too cold, mmkay? 145 00:10:54,288 --> 00:10:58,884 - Hey, you want something to warm you up? - Oh, uh, I didn't know this dark alley was taken. 146 00:10:59,008 --> 00:11:01,822 Here, try this. It'll warm you up. 147 00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:03,924 - Uh, ehehe, mari-ja-uana's bad. - What? 148 00:11:04,048 --> 00:11:07,326 - Uh, mar-mari-ja-uana makes you feel depressed and low, mmkay? 149 00:11:07,327 --> 00:11:09,427 - And you don't feel that way now? 150 00:11:09,528 --> 00:11:11,519 Uh, good point. 151 00:11:15,648 --> 00:11:18,037 Nah, I don't feel any differ... 152 00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:21,200 Oooh, ooh baby, get down, mmkay? 153 00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:27,460 - Man, this alley is cool. It's so love and beautiful. - Oh boy. 154 00:11:29,568 --> 00:11:31,887 - Come on Ike, hurry up. - A total nurra. 155 00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:35,523 - Where's the next train going? - Lincoln, Nebraska. Train leaves in five minutes. 156 00:11:35,648 --> 00:11:37,684 - You want to go to Nebraska, Ike? - Noo. 157 00:11:37,808 --> 00:11:40,547 - I need one ticket for my little brother. - That's a little brother? 158 00:11:40,548 --> 00:11:41,767 I thought it was a trash can or something. 159 00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:43,679 What's wrong with his head? 160 00:11:43,808 --> 00:11:47,357 I'm sorry but we just can't throw Caucasian babies on an outbound train. 161 00:11:47,488 --> 00:11:49,270 - But my parents are going to cut off his ding-dong. 162 00:11:49,271 --> 00:11:50,971 - What? Why the hell would they do that?!? 163 00:11:51,008 --> 00:11:52,317 They've just gone crazy for a while. 164 00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:54,718 Please mister, I have to hide my brother until they come to their senses. 165 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:57,442 - No can do, sonny. - Damn it! 166 00:12:01,208 --> 00:12:04,439 Ike, if you want to keep your penis, you have to get on this train. 167 00:12:05,408 --> 00:12:08,525 - Ready Ike, kick the baby! - Don't kick the baby. 168 00:12:09,608 --> 00:12:13,526 Bye Ike, be safe. I'll come find you in Nebraska when mom and dad are back to normal. 169 00:12:13,527 --> 00:12:14,527 Bye bye. 170 00:12:17,208 --> 00:12:19,358 Oh man, where am I, uh? 171 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:23,197 Hey wow, it's that counselor from the elementary school, Mr. Mackee. 172 00:12:23,328 --> 00:12:26,047 - Wow dude. - Oh, hi boys, how are you today? 173 00:12:26,168 --> 00:12:27,647 Pretty good man, how are you? 174 00:12:27,768 --> 00:12:31,204 Oh, I've been better. I've been kicked out of town for doing drugs. 175 00:12:31,328 --> 00:12:34,291 - Hey, us too. - Yeh, remember you caught us smoking weed 176 00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:36,492 in the bathroom and got us suspended. 177 00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:39,361 Oh. O fortune, how you mock me. 178 00:12:39,488 --> 00:12:42,719 Ah, cheer up bro, all you need is some clear liquid to get your head straight. 179 00:12:43,928 --> 00:12:46,567 Uh, boys, L-LSD is bad. Mmmm. 180 00:12:49,648 --> 00:12:52,720 Uh, who, who put all this cotton in my mouth? 181 00:12:52,768 --> 00:12:57,444 Yeh, baby. The world is so small. 182 00:12:59,248 --> 00:13:03,036 I'm free, I'm free. 183 00:13:03,168 --> 00:13:06,126 - Sweet dude, totally killer. - That guy's totally tripping. 184 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,722 - There, what do you think? - What the hell is that supposed to be? 185 00:13:11,848 --> 00:13:13,096 I'm making a dummy Ike doll. 186 00:13:13,097 --> 00:13:15,697 My parents think he's out with me right now, and I have to bring him back for dinner. 187 00:13:15,768 --> 00:13:17,643 Dude, I think your mom's gonna notice that isn't Ike. 188 00:13:17,644 --> 00:13:19,900 Not if I say he's sick and put him to bed right away. 189 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:24,240 - No, go away, bad dog. - Dude, what did you make that doll out of? 190 00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:27,963 - I used a bunch of bones from the butcher shop. - Is that why it stinks so bad? 191 00:13:28,088 --> 00:13:31,558 - Hi boys. - Hi Mr. Mackee. 192 00:13:31,688 --> 00:13:35,158 - Are you boys stayin' out of trouble? - Yes. 193 00:13:35,288 --> 00:13:39,042 Ok, I, I'm just gonna go over here for a while. 194 00:13:39,488 --> 00:13:43,163 Anyways, I need you guys to help me so that my parents don't realize Ike is gone. 195 00:13:43,288 --> 00:13:46,598 - Knock it off asshole. - No way! I'm never going back to your parents house. 196 00:13:46,728 --> 00:13:50,164 Come on dude, if it were your little brother we'd help you. 197 00:13:50,688 --> 00:13:52,167 Ehh. Wait a minute! No you wouldn't! 198 00:13:59,048 --> 00:14:03,599 Would you look at that honey, somebody dropped off a perfectly good trashcan. 199 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,600 Yeh, nooiwawagoche. 200 00:14:07,928 --> 00:14:11,045 Booby, where have you been? Dinner's been ready for five minutes. 201 00:14:11,168 --> 00:14:14,001 Sorry mom, I just had to deal with Ike. He, he's been cranky. 202 00:14:14,128 --> 00:14:16,364 How is my little jelly bean? 203 00:14:16,365 --> 00:14:17,365 Babaseemee mama. 204 00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:19,507 I, I'm gonna take him up to the bathroom to get washed up. 205 00:14:19,508 --> 00:14:22,668 Ok, but first let mommy give you a kiss. 206 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,320 Uh, no mom, he, he doesn't want you kissing him. 207 00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:29,002 - Oh my God, make it stop! - Put it down you stupid dog! 208 00:14:29,128 --> 00:14:33,521 - My baby! Oh God!!!! - Get out of here you mutt! Let him go! 209 00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:49,608 Oh he's dead, he's dead, my little Boobala's dead. 210 00:14:49,728 --> 00:14:52,561 There there Sheila, there's nothing we can do. 211 00:14:57,528 --> 00:15:00,939 Yea, usher us unto the Lord sayeth some Jewish guy once. 212 00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:02,640 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. 213 00:15:09,888 --> 00:15:13,039 Hey, wait a minute, how come Ike's tombstone have a Canadian flag on it? 214 00:15:13,168 --> 00:15:15,682 Well booby, there's something you have to know. 215 00:15:15,808 --> 00:15:18,276 Ike wasn't really your brother, he was adopted. 216 00:15:18,408 --> 00:15:21,844 - What?!? - He was not really a Broflovski, he was Canadian, 217 00:15:21,968 --> 00:15:24,528 but we loved him all the same. 218 00:15:24,768 --> 00:15:25,961 You mean to tell me that all this time 219 00:15:25,962 --> 00:15:28,101 I've been trying to protect Ike from having his fireman cut off 220 00:15:28,102 --> 00:15:29,502 and he's not even my real brother? 221 00:15:29,568 --> 00:15:31,206 What are you talking about? 222 00:15:31,328 --> 00:15:34,320 Dude, Ike isn't dead, he's in Nebraska. 223 00:15:34,888 --> 00:15:37,286 - What, what, what?!?! - Dude, you shouldn't have told them that, 224 00:15:37,287 --> 00:15:38,687 now they're gonna find him and cut off his penis. 225 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:42,158 - Fireman! - Oh, who the hell cares? He's not even my responsibility. 226 00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:44,459 Hey you guys, look out. 227 00:15:44,768 --> 00:15:47,726 - Oh my God, they've killed Kenny. - You bastards. 228 00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:53,278 Yea, let us ponder the Lord's mercies. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. 229 00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:01,166 Get out of the way you damn hippie. 230 00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:04,567 I don't need to take your right wing authoritative bullshit. 231 00:16:04,648 --> 00:16:07,720 - What? - Uhh, you're just like the government, man. 232 00:16:07,848 --> 00:16:10,915 Trying to prosecute out of one side of your mouth, mmkay, 233 00:16:10,916 --> 00:16:14,016 while supporting guns out of the other, mmkay? 234 00:16:14,088 --> 00:16:17,717 Oh, why don't you go to a Grateful Dead concert? 235 00:16:17,848 --> 00:16:20,819 I can't man, Jerry Berry's dead, mmkay? 236 00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:24,920 Hey man, I overheard what you said. That was cool. 237 00:16:25,028 --> 00:16:26,800 Wha, oh, thanks man. 238 00:16:26,928 --> 00:16:30,238 Would you like to come over to my place and finger-paint? 239 00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:34,725 Sure man, finger-paintin's cool, mmkay? 240 00:16:39,928 --> 00:16:43,204 - Now where did you leave him young man? - Ah, how the hell should I know? 241 00:16:43,328 --> 00:16:48,641 - Gerald, do something about your smart-ass son. - Uh, mind your...mother, smart-ass. 242 00:16:48,768 --> 00:16:52,681 If we don't find him, so help me, you're going to be grounded for a month. 243 00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:56,296 All this time, look out for your little brother Kyle, take care of your little brother Kyle, 244 00:16:56,297 --> 00:16:57,697 and he wasn't even really my little brother. 245 00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:02,047 - Kyle, just because Ike is adopted doesn't make him any less your brother. - Yeh, right. 246 00:17:02,528 --> 00:17:06,123 Excuse me, we're looking for a two-year old Canadian boy. 247 00:17:06,248 --> 00:17:08,478 Two-year old Canadian boy, two-year old Canadian boy... 248 00:17:08,479 --> 00:17:10,877 Oh, I think they might have one of those down at Hap's bar. 249 00:17:10,879 --> 00:17:12,879 Huh, come on! 250 00:17:20,027 --> 00:17:22,527 - Ike!! - Babaturtle. 251 00:17:22,528 --> 00:17:25,679 Hey lady, that's my table post, you can't have that! 252 00:17:29,608 --> 00:17:35,285 Wow man, you know it's like, you go through life thinking you're an individual, mmkay? 253 00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:41,483 Then you realize that you're more than that, mkay? We're all just one big individual, 'kay? 254 00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:48,399 Let's get married and have a honeymoon in India. 255 00:17:51,728 --> 00:17:55,004 Now you march to your room and you think about what you've done! 256 00:17:55,128 --> 00:17:58,245 - But first apologize to your brother! - He's not my brother! 257 00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:01,838 - Apologize to him! - I'm sorry Ike. - Uhuh forget that. 258 00:18:07,648 --> 00:18:10,446 Wow, this is so beautiful. 259 00:18:10,568 --> 00:18:13,446 I am one with the animals, and the trees. 260 00:18:13,568 --> 00:18:15,923 And I am one with you. 261 00:18:16,048 --> 00:18:19,120 At long last I have found 262 00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:22,126 a true reason to be 263 00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:24,842 Now I feel I can start a new 264 00:18:32,408 --> 00:18:36,720 - What the hell is going on? - Tough love Mr. Mackee, we're taking you to rehab. 265 00:18:36,848 --> 00:18:39,965 I don't want to go to rehab, I haven't even done drugs in weeks. 266 00:18:40,088 --> 00:18:42,953 We were wrong for shunning you Mr. Mackee, and we apologize. 267 00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:44,654 We should have realized you needed help. 268 00:18:44,728 --> 00:18:47,640 Yeh, and now we're going to make sure you get the help you need. 269 00:18:47,768 --> 00:18:50,726 - I don't want help! - You'll thank us later. 270 00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:56,165 Hello Tom, hello Patty, thanks for coming to Ike's Bris. 271 00:18:56,728 --> 00:18:58,844 Look Ike, it's your Uncle Murray. 272 00:18:58,968 --> 00:19:01,198 Hello Ike, say where's little Kyle? 273 00:19:01,328 --> 00:19:03,452 He's been sent to his room for being a bastard. 274 00:19:03,453 --> 00:19:06,053 He's decided that Ike isn't his brother since he's adopted. 275 00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:08,642 - Hi there. - Hello, do I know you? 276 00:19:08,768 --> 00:19:12,477 Oh no, but I never miss a Bris. Here, I brought some dip. - Oh, thanks. 277 00:19:12,608 --> 00:19:15,202 Well, I guess the chopping is about to commence. 278 00:19:15,203 --> 00:19:16,503 Odifaner. 279 00:19:17,008 --> 00:19:18,680 What do you want? 280 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,581 I want to secom odifaner. 281 00:19:23,768 --> 00:19:26,441 Oh no you don't. That isn't going to work on me, Canadian. 282 00:19:26,568 --> 00:19:28,121 - Maybe you're being too hard on him dude. 283 00:19:28,122 --> 00:19:31,022 No way, there's no real connection between us. It was all a big lie. 284 00:19:31,023 --> 00:19:34,623 Cookie monster. Two, three, four, five. 285 00:19:34,728 --> 00:19:38,038 Go on Canadian, beat it! I'm through getting in trouble for you. 286 00:19:38,039 --> 00:19:39,839 Brother, fire fly. 287 00:19:41,408 --> 00:19:44,525 You have to admit you have a problem before anybody can help you. 288 00:19:44,648 --> 00:19:48,436 - But I don't think I really have a problem. - Nonsense, you did drugs. 289 00:19:48,568 --> 00:19:51,878 - I suppose you forgot all about your family. - I don't really have a family. 290 00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:54,647 - And you lost your job. - No, I lost my job before that. 291 00:19:54,768 --> 00:19:56,804 Mr. Mackee, you're supposed to be an adult. 292 00:19:56,805 --> 00:19:59,705 The problem with drugs is that people forget to stop doing them. 293 00:19:59,888 --> 00:20:03,119 There is a time and a place for everything Mr. Mackee, and it's called college. 294 00:20:03,248 --> 00:20:07,241 Now, I want you to repeat after me, "drugs are bad." 295 00:20:07,888 --> 00:20:11,324 - Drugs are bad. - Drugs are bad. 296 00:20:12,448 --> 00:20:14,120 Uh, d, Drugs are bad. 297 00:20:16,168 --> 00:20:20,878 Hello Dr. Schwartz. Thank you so much for coming all this way to perform Ike's Bris. 298 00:20:21,008 --> 00:20:24,239 Oh, my pleasure Sheila. I brought the normal cutting device, 299 00:20:24,368 --> 00:20:27,917 but then I remembered Ike is Canadian, so I brought the right one. 300 00:20:28,048 --> 00:20:31,006 - Where is the little rug rat? - Right over here. 301 00:20:31,768 --> 00:20:33,838 Come here you! 302 00:20:34,728 --> 00:20:36,764 Odifaner. 303 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:47,367 Shecaca madifaner. 304 00:20:49,368 --> 00:20:51,518 There you are, come on Ike, it's time. 305 00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:55,278 You stay away from my little brother! 306 00:20:55,408 --> 00:20:58,313 - But, but, but son I just... - You aren't going to cut off his wee-wee! 307 00:20:58,314 --> 00:20:59,914 Not today you sick ass weirdo! 308 00:20:59,928 --> 00:21:03,967 - Kyle, what are you talking about?!? - And you, you should be ashamed of yourself. 309 00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:07,239 Don't you understand that us males are defined by our firemen? 310 00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:12,965 Yes, the fireman is very magical. If you rub his helmet, he spits in your eye. 311 00:21:13,728 --> 00:21:17,687 Kyle, a, a circumcision is a very common thing for Ike to have. 312 00:21:17,808 --> 00:21:22,836 His father had it, his grandfather had it, and... his brother had it. 313 00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:27,758 - No! No it isn't true! - We're not gonna cut it off, we're just gonna snip it. 314 00:21:27,888 --> 00:21:29,606 So it looks bigger. 315 00:21:30,968 --> 00:21:35,996 - Oh hey, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. - Yeh, I want to get a circumsticion too. 316 00:21:37,608 --> 00:21:40,198 - Congratulations Mr. Mackee. You are fully recovered. 317 00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:42,899 I can't thank you enough for everything. 318 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:46,677 - I feel like my old self again. - Just one more thing. 319 00:21:47,968 --> 00:21:52,280 - Remember that you can stay sober. - I will Ms. Social Worker. 320 00:21:52,408 --> 00:21:54,364 I will, mmkay? 321 00:21:55,408 --> 00:21:59,321 - It's ok Ike, I'm here. - And a one, and a two, and a... 322 00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:00,439 Bris. 323 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:01,840 Ouch babababa. 324 00:22:04,241 --> 00:22:05,041 Cookie monster. 325 00:22:05,168 --> 00:22:08,922 - Ike, you're ok. - Wow dude, I guess having a Bris isn't all that bad. 326 00:22:09,048 --> 00:22:10,468 Yeh, you know, I've learned something today. 327 00:22:10,469 --> 00:22:13,769 Family isn't about whose blood you have, it's about who you care about. 328 00:22:13,888 --> 00:22:17,767 And that's why I feel like you guys are more than just friends. You're my family. 329 00:22:17,888 --> 00:22:19,088 - Except for Cartman. - Naturally. 330 00:22:19,089 --> 00:22:22,089 Well, screw you guys, I don't want to be in your penis chopping family anyway. 331 00:22:24,368 --> 00:22:29,142 And so now children, your school counselor is back to tell you first hand 332 00:22:29,143 --> 00:22:32,106 - about his nasty experience with drugs and alcohol. 333 00:22:35,968 --> 00:22:40,678 Drugs are bad. You see, I was at the bottom of the barrel. I was a wreck. 334 00:22:40,808 --> 00:22:42,764 Well, I didn't even care about money. 335 00:22:42,888 --> 00:22:44,799 I was, I was wasting my life. 336 00:22:44,928 --> 00:22:46,759 Hey, you guys want to come to my Bris tomorrow? 337 00:22:46,888 --> 00:22:49,129 You can't have your Bris tomorrow, that's when I'm having mine. 338 00:22:49,130 --> 00:22:51,167 No way, I set up mine first, hippie! 339 00:22:51,168 --> 00:22:53,490 No boys, you need to listen up, mmkay? 340 00:22:53,491 --> 00:22:56,491 What, what I'm talking about might save your life someday, mmkay? 341 00:22:56,568 --> 00:22:59,207 - Okay Mr. Mackee, mmkay? - Mmkay. 342 00:23:02,728 --> 00:23:06,960 Now, as I was saying, drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. 343 00:23:07,848 --> 00:23:11,887 If you do them, you're bad, because drugs are bad, mmkay? 344 00:23:12,008 --> 00:23:17,036 It's a bad thing to do drugs, so don't be bad by doing drugs, mmkay? 345 00:23:17,168 --> 00:23:19,600 That'd be bad. Cause drugs are bad, mmkay?