1
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:12,370
Going down to South Park
Gonna have myself a time
2
00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:15,710
Friendly faces everywhere
Humble folks without temptation
3
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,840
Going down to South Park
Gonna leave my woes behind
4
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:22,640
Ample parking day or night
People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"
5
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,770
I'm heading up to South Park
Gonna see if I can't unwind
6
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:25,890
West side.
7
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,860
Come on down to South Park
And meet some friends of mine
8
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,830
Well, you boys must be pretty excited.
Your first night of Scouts.
9
00:00:38,950 --> 00:00:41,360
It's gonna suck. There's gonna be
all these new kids there we don't know.
10
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,740
- Yeah.
- Well, now, that's part of the fun.
11
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,330
Yeah, both Kenny's dad and I were
in Scouts for years.
12
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:49,590
Was your dad in Scouts, Cartman?
Oh, yeah, you don't have a dad.
13
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,260
That's not funny. Jesus Christ!
14
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,840
Are you excited
for your first night of Scouts, Timmy?
15
00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:56,510
Timmy!
16
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:57,890
Yeah, he's excited.
17
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,230
- Well, hey, fellows!
- Hey, Butters.
18
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:06,900
Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
19
00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:08,270
There's lots of kids here
from other schools,
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00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,690
and I don't know anybody.
21
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,020
All right, boys,
we're gonna head to the bar.
22
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,620
We'll be back to pick you up at 9:00.
23
00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:14,860
You boys just make sure to obey
the Scout leader now.
24
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,370
He's the man in charge.
25
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:17,910
Hello, Scouts!
26
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,240
- Hey, it's Big Gay Al.
- Hello, Stanley.
27
00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:23,830
I was happy to see you
and your little friends' names on the list.
28
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,000
Timmy!
29
00:01:25,130 --> 00:01:28,300
- You're the new Scout leader?
- I just got transferred in.
30
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:30,670
I think everyone's here now,
so we can get started.
31
00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:32,380
Come on, Scouts.
We've got work to do.
32
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:33,930
Hooray! See you, Dad.
33
00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:38,510
Hey, are you parents going
to stand there all night?
34
00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:41,350
This meeting is for Scouts only,
you silly gooses.
35
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,190
Now, before we get started, Scouts,
I want to introduce you
36
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:51,540
to someone very special here tonight.
He's a brave little boy with disabilities
37
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:54,330
who proves just by being here
that Scouts are for everyone!
38
00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:55,490
Timmy!
39
00:01:55,630 --> 00:01:58,660
So let's all give a big round of applause
to little Jimmy.
40
00:02:00,050 --> 00:02:01,330
Well, hello, everyone.
41
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,000
Jimmy?
42
00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:10,890
Look, I'm not saying
the new Scout leader's a bad person.
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00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:12,970
I just don't think he should be
a Scout leader.
44
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,850
Well, he got to where he is
by being a good Scout.
45
00:02:14,980 --> 00:02:16,440
Maybe we should just leave him alone.
46
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,440
- Well, how gay is he?
- He's really, really gay.
47
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,230
Well, then I don't want
my boy there, either.
48
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,440
So he's a homosexual. So what?
49
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:25,570
I have nothing
against homosexuals either, Randy.
50
00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:27,450
But the big camping trip is next week.
51
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,820
Are you saying you're fine
with this guy camping overnight
52
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,500
alone with our boys?
53
00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:33,580
You know,
boys emulate authority figures.
54
00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:36,710
Even if it doesn't turn them gay,
they could end up all talking all femme
55
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,720
and prancing around like girls.
56
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,470
That's ridiculous.
57
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,300
People, people, please!
58
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:45,220
You're forgetting
that homosexuality is a choice.
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00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:46,600
As many of you know,
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00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:49,730
I myself went through
a homosexual phase.
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00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,400
But the light of Christ showed me
how to change.
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00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:55,610
Just give me two hours with this man
and I can convert him back.
63
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,070
That's what you said about Peterson
64
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,240
and then you ended up
having sex with him.
65
00:02:59,370 --> 00:03:00,400
That's right. He did.
66
00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:04,210
And so that's how to make
banana-nut muffins.
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00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:07,870
And now, as a very special treat,
our very special friend Jimmy
68
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,340
is going to do what he loves most.
Motivational stand-up comedy!
69
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:12,660
Let's give him a big hand!
70
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,840
Wow! What a great audience!
71
00:03:15,970 --> 00:03:18,590
Well, just in case you were wondering,
I do have a disability.
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00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,760
I am totally happy with the way
I was born, very much.
73
00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,010
I travel to different states
74
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:24,350
and talk to kids
about being proud of what they are.
75
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,720
My mom says God had
a plan for everyone.
76
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:28,480
I guess I was Plan B.
77
00:03:31,070 --> 00:03:32,780
You guys like impersonations?
78
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,280
How about Jimmy Stewart?
79
00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:39,030
"Merry Christmas, movie house."
And John Travolta.
80
00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,490
"Oh, my God, Mr. Kotter. Mr. Kotter.
Oh, my God, Mr. Kotter."
81
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,580
Jimmy's funny, dude.
82
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:47,200
Yeah, well, he's
the coolest kid with disabilities
83
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:48,370
in the world!
84
00:03:49,380 --> 00:03:51,960
- Kenny, it's 9:00.
- Come on, Stanley.
85
00:03:52,550 --> 00:03:54,100
Guess we're out of time, kids.
86
00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:55,800
Now, tomorrow you all have bake sales
87
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:57,970
in your respective neighborhoods
to raise money.
88
00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,480
We'll meet back here next Tuesday,
89
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,930
and see who raised the most.
Good luck!
90
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:02,140
Hey, I've got a great idea.
91
00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:04,430
Why don't we see if Jimmy wants
to come be in our Scout club?
92
00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:06,860
- Hey, yeah.
- Timmy, Timmy.
93
00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:09,400
Hey, Jimmy, you want to come join
our bake sale in South Park tomorrow?
94
00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:11,320
Jeez, sure, that'd be great.
Thanks, fellas.
95
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:13,820
- Come on, Stan.
- Bye, Big Gay Al. We had a great time.
96
00:04:13,950 --> 00:04:15,700
- Yeah, thanks.
- Bye, Jimmy.
97
00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:17,490
See you tomorrow
at the bake sale, fellas.
98
00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:19,120
You were right, Dad.
Scouts is awesome.
99
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,830
- Yeah!
- We told ghost stories
100
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,920
and learned how to make
a tornado in a glass bottle.
101
00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:25,460
Yeah, and we learned how to make
cakes and muffins for our bake sale.
102
00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:27,220
And, best of all,
we met this kid named Jimmy.
103
00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:30,130
He's disabled, but he doesn't let it
ruin his life. He's awesome!
104
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,590
Yeah, we're going to use him
to help raise money at our bake sale.
105
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:35,100
Cartman, don't say "use him",
you big silly goose.
106
00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:37,890
What did you say?
107
00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:41,060
I just called Cartman a name.
He's a silly goose.
108
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,190
You do not say "big silly goose"!
109
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,070
You call him an asshole
like a normal kid.
110
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,280
But, Dad, I was just trying to...
111
00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:49,870
Stanley, you call your friend
an asshole this instant!
112
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:51,330
Asshole.
113
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:52,650
That's better.
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00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:54,500
Don't call me asshole,
you son of a bitch.
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00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,420
Hello? We are having
a bake sale to raise money
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00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,460
for Scout Troop Number 69.
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00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:04,300
Please stop by and give us a hand.
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00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:05,510
And now, for your entertainment,
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00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,210
our new best friend,
stand-up comic Jimmy!
120
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:12,890
Wow, what a great audience.
I just flew into South Park.
121
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:14,570
Boy, are my crutches tired.
122
00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:17,730
What a terrific audience.
123
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,110
You know, people sometimes ask me,
124
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,560
"Are you angry at God
for making disabled people?"
125
00:05:21,990 --> 00:05:25,080
I say, "No, I think the world is better
with President Bush."
126
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:29,710
What a brave little boy.
127
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,370
He's able to use comedy to overcome
his handicap! I love him!
128
00:05:33,510 --> 00:05:34,540
Timmy.
129
00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:36,470
Well, I sure have met
a lot of interesting people
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00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:39,960
here in South Park.
How about that Eric Cartman kid, huh?
131
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,600
"God damn it!
No, kitty, that's my pot pie.
132
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,850
"God damn it! God damn it!"
133
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,900
- I don't sound like that.
- And how about that school counselor?
134
00:05:50,690 --> 00:05:55,520
"Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad, okay.
Drugs are bad, okay. Okay."
135
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:58,820
Wow, what a great audience.
"Mr. Hat, be quiet, Mr. Hat!
136
00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:02,490
"Mr... Hello there, children... Mr. Hat.
Hello... Mr. Hat."
137
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:05,830
"I'm making Salisbury steak for lunch.
Salisbury steak for lunch."
138
00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:09,170
"God damn it, God damn it!"
139
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,330
And of course,
my very favourite, "Timmy!"
140
00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:15,420
"Timmy! I'm living a lie,
I'm living a lie, Timmy!
141
00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:20,890
"Timmy, I'm living a lie! Timmy!"
142
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,550
Sometimes it's like, "Please, Timmy,
learn a new word."
143
00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:25,650
"Timmy! Timmy!"
144
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,320
Wow, looks like when it comes
to comedy, I really take the...
145
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,620
I really take the... I really take the cake.
146
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,610
Jimmy! Jimmy!
147
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,660
Timmy!
148
00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:47,380
Well, this is it. We've simply gotten
too many complaints
149
00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:49,550
from concerned parents about him.
150
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,220
- I'm afraid we don't have a choice.
- Hiya, fellas!
151
00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:55,800
- How are you today, Scout?
- I'm super! Thanks for asking.
152
00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:58,430
The troops are off having bake sales
and I'm pleased to report
153
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,060
that we have already raised over $600
for the event. Yippee!
154
00:07:03,070 --> 00:07:07,730
Big Gay Al, it has recently come
to our attention that you are gay.
155
00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:11,120
Well, stop the presses! You figure
that out all by yourself, silly buns?
156
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,610
Yes, well, unfortunately for you,
the Scouts have a policy
157
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:17,200
that openly gay men cannot belong.
158
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:22,580
We are left with no options, Mr. Al.
I'm afraid you are hereby out of Scouts.
159
00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:27,380
- Out of Scouts?
- We're sorry, Mr. Gay Al.
160
00:07:27,510 --> 00:07:31,430
But I've been in Scouts since I was nine.
It's a huge part of my life.
161
00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:34,270
You must understand
that Scouts is a private club.
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00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,890
A club that follows certain beliefs
163
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,860
and one of those beliefs is
that homosexuality is immoral.
164
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,280
- I see.
- It's nothing against you, personally.
165
00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:46,450
What if I promise not to be gay
any more? Pinkie swear!
166
00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:50,320
- We think it's best you just move on.
- Right. Move on.
167
00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:57,380
Oh, hey, Timmy.
I'm glad you called, very much.
168
00:07:57,630 --> 00:07:59,670
I've been detecting
some animosity towards me lately
169
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,380
and I was hoping
we could bury the hatchet.
170
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,720
- Timmy.
- What's that?
171
00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:06,800
- I live a lie. Timmy.
- A present? You got me a present?
172
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:08,220
Timmy.
173
00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:09,430
Gee, you didn't have to do that.
174
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,890
I mean, I understand
why you'd be jealous of my talents.
175
00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:15,730
If you work at it, maybe you could be
as handi-capable as I am, huh?
176
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:18,530
Wow, a parka!
You didn't have to do that, Tim-Tim.
177
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:21,200
- Tim, Timmy.
- Sure, I'll see if it fits.
178
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,110
This is very warm.
Thanks a lot, Tim-Tim.
179
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:26,410
Well, I'll see you around.
180
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:27,540
Timmy.
181
00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:35,790
There he is! Kill him, kill him!
182
00:08:40,430 --> 00:08:41,760
Thanks again, Tim-Tim.
183
00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:43,850
Tim-Timmy!
184
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:17,380
Bye, Scouts.
185
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:22,260
- Okay, okay, Marc, stop playing now.
- Hey, don't yell at me.
186
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,850
You asked me to come over
and play sad songs for you to pack to
187
00:09:24,990 --> 00:09:27,650
- and then you yell at me!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
188
00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:31,780
But now I've packed everything away,
so just play something uplifting, like
189
00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:34,700
"I'm-Gonna-Put-All-This-Behind-Me-
and-Make-it-Okay" music.
190
00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:37,410
Oh, I don't want her
You can have her
191
00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:39,120
She's too fat for me
192
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:40,630
Oh, Jesus, Marc.
193
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:47,420
Parents, this is the new Scout leader,
Mr. Grasier.
194
00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:49,760
He will be taking over
for the homosexual.
195
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,920
Nice to meet you.
196
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:52,930
Marsh, right? We actually
kind of know each other.
197
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,010
- Your wife and mine are friends.
- Your wife, huh?
198
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,810
Carol is the head
of a girls' Mountain Scouts troop.
199
00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:01,060
Well, I guess we're off to the bar
until 9:00, then.
200
00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:02,770
Going to go pound some brews, huh?
201
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:06,850
And so I says to him, "Hey, I may be
handicapped, but I'm not dead."
202
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,620
Wow, what a terrific audience.
203
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:11,030
Well, for my next joke, I'm gonna need
204
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,240
a volunteer from the audience,
very much.
205
00:10:13,370 --> 00:10:15,000
- How about you, Timmy?
- Timmy.
206
00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:16,790
Sure, come on up here, Tim-Tim!
207
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,580
Timmy, ladies and gentlemen!
Let's all give him a hand, very much.
208
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,170
Come to think of it,
give him a pair of legs, too!
209
00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:25,380
Here, Timmy. Put on this silly hat.
210
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:30,020
Just for a second, Timmy.
Don't be a jerk, Timmy.
211
00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:32,980
- Hey, don't push me!
- Timmy!
212
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,860
Cripple fight!
213
00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:37,560
That is enough, Scouts!
Take your seats!
214
00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:39,890
All right, Scouts!
215
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:42,650
I am your new Scout Master,
Mr. Grasier!
216
00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:43,820
Together, we are going to become
217
00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:46,660
the best, the sleekest,
the most well-polished Scout troop
218
00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:48,830
in all of Colorado. Isn't that right?
219
00:10:49,630 --> 00:10:51,250
When I ask you a question,
you will answer,
220
00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:53,450
"Yes, Scout Master!"
Do I make myself clear?
221
00:10:53,590 --> 00:10:55,250
- Yes, Scout Master!
- Good.
222
00:10:55,670 --> 00:11:00,300
Now, the first activity
for this evening will be naked pictures.
223
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,140
I'm going to take
some pictures of each of you naked,
224
00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:05,260
in case we need them for later.
225
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:09,810
Oh, what is this? If there's one thing
I hate, it's a whining platoon.
226
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:12,730
"We don't want to do push-ups.
We don't want to get up early.
227
00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:15,400
"We don't want to have you take
naked pictures of us!"
228
00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:19,200
- Man, this guy sucks!
- Now, fall in and strip down, Scouts!
229
00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:25,290
All right, Scouts, we're gonna end
this meeting with a little puppet show.
230
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:28,250
Here's a little Scout.
He's always prepared.
231
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:30,210
He's always ready.
232
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:32,670
Now, here's a little Scout telling
his parents
233
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,290
that Mr. Grasier took
naked pictures of him.
234
00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:36,630
Look what happens.
235
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:40,710
Oh, no! Oh! Oh! Oh!
236
00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:43,810
- Do I make myself clear, Scouts?
- Yes, Scout Master!
237
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,600
Oh, hello, parents.
All right, that's all the time
238
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:47,980
we have for tonight, Scouts.
239
00:11:48,110 --> 00:11:51,030
- We sure had a great time, didn't we?
- Yes, sir, Scout Master!
240
00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,610
Wow, you sure whipped
those kids into shape.
241
00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:55,620
Yeah, now they're acting like men.
242
00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:59,280
Well, you know what I say about kids.
They're all pink on the inside.
243
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:00,830
- You bet.
- I heard that.
244
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,160
See you, Mr. Grasier.
245
00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:12,300
Go away! I'm dead!
246
00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:16,890
- Here he is.
- Big Gay Al, what are you doing?
247
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,390
Yeah, get your big gay ass
off the couch,
248
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,020
and come be our Scout Master again.
249
00:12:20,150 --> 00:12:21,310
I can't, kids.
250
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,480
- I've been kicked out of Scouts.
- Kicked out? Oh, no!
251
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:27,100
But you have to come back.
We hate our new Scout leader.
252
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,350
Really? Why?
253
00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:31,490
- We can't tell you.
- Why not?
254
00:12:32,410 --> 00:12:35,620
Oh, no, no! Oh, no, no!
255
00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:40,080
Please, Big Gay Al. We don't want to go
on a camp trip with this guy.
256
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:44,290
Boys, there's nothing I can do.
The Scouts don't allow homosexuals.
257
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:45,750
Well, then that settles it.
258
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:46,970
Fellas, what we're gonna have to do is
259
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,220
try to change the Scouts' rules,
very much.
260
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:53,100
- What do we want?
- Gays in Scouts!
261
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,640
- When do we want it?
- Timmy!
262
00:12:54,770 --> 00:12:56,520
- What do we want?
- Gays in Scouts.
263
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:57,760
- When do we want it?
- Timmy!
264
00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:00,140
- What do we want...
- Oh, no.
265
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,310
- When do we want it?
- Timmy!
266
00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:05,680
- What do we want?
- Gays in Scouts!
267
00:13:05,810 --> 00:13:07,220
- When do we want it?
- Timmy!
268
00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:09,560
All right, this looks like the perfect place
to get some signatures.
269
00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:11,650
Puppies! Puppies for sale!
270
00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:14,150
Beat it, toots!
We got discrimination work to do.
271
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,390
All right, let's set up.
272
00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:17,310
Hi, we're here to collect
signatures and support
273
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:19,160
to force the Scouts to accept gays.
274
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,230
Hello? Gays in Scouts? God damn it!
275
00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:24,740
Hey, why don't we have Jimmy do
some stand-up comedy?
276
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,330
- Like at our bake sale, very much?
- That's a great idea!
277
00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:28,740
Attention, ladies and gentlemen!
278
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,250
Now, for your entertainment,
stand-up comic, Jimmy!
279
00:13:32,050 --> 00:13:33,460
Wow, what a great audience!
280
00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:37,090
For my first joke, I'm gonna need
a volunteer. Come on up here, Tim-Tim.
281
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:42,220
Timmy, when I tell you to do something,
you do it!
282
00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:44,640
- Timmy!
- Timmy, don't make me kick your ass.
283
00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:46,520
- Timmy.
- Put on your hat!
284
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,480
- Timmy!
- Put it on!
285
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,770
Dude, this looks like it could get ugly.
286
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:55,320
Timmy. Timmy.
287
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,230
Not this year.
288
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,330
Timmy, Timmy.
289
00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:05,130
Cripple fight!
290
00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:07,710
Come on!
291
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,750
Come on!
292
00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:13,460
Timmy.
293
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,770
Cripple fight!
294
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:27,190
Yeah, let's go!
295
00:14:28,030 --> 00:14:31,230
Attention, shoppers.
Outside today we have cripple fight.
296
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:33,080
Cripple fight outside.
297
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:40,410
Come on.
298
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,670
- Jesus Christ, dude.
- Oh, my God!
299
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:53,090
Just let them have it out, Susan.
They'll run out of steam soon.
300
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:58,940
- Timmy. Timmy.
- Come on.
301
00:14:59,110 --> 00:15:01,520
- Timmy.
- No.
302
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,080
Timmy.
303
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:19,000
Timmy.
304
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,370
I told you. Put on the hat.
305
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:31,930
You dirty mother...
306
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,740
- What's going on?
- Some kind of gay pride rally.
307
00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:27,670
Oh, Timmy!
308
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,130
Tom, I'm standing out front
of Henry's Supermarket
309
00:16:38,270 --> 00:16:42,680
where five brave little boys are holding
a rally to support gays in Scouting.
310
00:16:42,810 --> 00:16:45,020
The rally is drawing so much attention
311
00:16:45,150 --> 00:16:48,100
that people from all over the country
are taking media notice.
312
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,940
Those boys have shown me the light.
313
00:16:50,070 --> 00:16:52,280
I never knew the Mountain Scouts was
a hate group.
314
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:54,610
This is a wake-up call to America.
315
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:56,780
We cannot turn our backs
on gays any more.
316
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,160
Oh, God, they're actually pulling it off.
317
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:02,620
The rally has also caught the attention
of old Scouts members
318
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:06,700
like Steven Spielberg, director
of such films as Always and 1941.
319
00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:08,960
I salute those boys and their courage.
320
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:12,380
I am hereby cutting all my funding
to the Scouts.
321
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,380
The rally has also caught the attention
of high-power lawyer Gloria Allred.
322
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,480
It is a disgrace that these homophobes
are allowed to discriminate.
323
00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:22,850
I am taking this case on personally.
324
00:17:23,190 --> 00:17:24,520
With this kind of support, Tom,
325
00:17:24,650 --> 00:17:27,900
these boys are sure to have
a victory for gays. Back to you.
326
00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:29,030
Thanks, Chris.
327
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,400
In other news, the FBI has finally caught
328
00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:34,110
the child molester known
as Mr. Slippy Fist.
329
00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:37,540
This sick child molester was found
with disturbing, graphic photos
330
00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:40,160
of young boys naked,
which we will show you now.
331
00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:42,620
Here's one and here's another.
332
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,250
- Kenny?
- Oh, my God.
333
00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:47,720
Look at this one. Sick son of a bitch.
There's one right here.
334
00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:52,850
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
335
00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:01,480
Jimmy!
336
00:18:14,090 --> 00:18:16,240
All right, boys. Break it up.
337
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:22,630
All rise.
338
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,260
In the case of Big Gay Al
versus Mountain Scouts of America,
339
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:31,610
due to the overwhelming show
of support, it is the ruling of this court
340
00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:35,940
that the Scouts must allow Big Gay Al
and all gays into their club.
341
00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:38,480
All right!
342
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,950
Well, we've all learned
an important lesson.
343
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,030
That just because
somebody's gay doesn't mean
344
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,360
they're gonna molest children.
345
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,160
Straight people do that, too.
346
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:47,870
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
347
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,950
And furthermore, the Scout elders
will be put into stocks for three days
348
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,300
so they can see how it feels
to be outcast.
349
00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:59,680
- We did it! We did it!
- I did it! I did it!
350
00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:05,140
Today is a great day for democracy.
351
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:09,150
The Scouts have been exposed
for the vile gay bashers they are.
352
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:13,940
And we owe it all to me
and these six brave little boys.
353
00:19:14,910 --> 00:19:16,820
Five brave little boys.
354
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:22,990
And now, here to take his official oath
back into Scouts is Big Gay Al.
355
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,040
Thank you all very much.
356
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:27,750
But I don't want this.
357
00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:30,130
What did he say?
358
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:33,510
Look, I appreciate what you kids did,
I really do.
359
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,590
But this isn't what I wanted.
I'm proud to be gay.
360
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,810
And I'm proud to be in a country
where I'm free to express myself.
361
00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:43,890
But freedom is a two-way street.
If I'm free to express myself,
362
00:19:44,190 --> 00:19:47,360
then the Scouts have to be free
to express themselves, too.
363
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:51,940
I know these men. They are good men.
They are kind men.
364
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,200
They do what they think is best for kids.
365
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:56,620
No matter how wrong
we think they might be
366
00:19:56,750 --> 00:19:59,580
it isn't right for us to force them
to think our way.
367
00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:03,080
It's up to us to persuade
and help them see the light
368
00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:06,960
not to extort them to.
Please don't cut the Scouts' funding.
369
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,260
The Scouts help
and have always helped a lot of kids.
370
00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:10,670
That's why I love them.
371
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,510
I will continue to persuade them
to change their minds,
372
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,680
but this is the wrong way to do it.
373
00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:18,930
So I am hereby dropping my case
374
00:20:19,110 --> 00:20:23,520
and allowing the Scouts their right
to not allow gays into their private club.
375
00:20:24,860 --> 00:20:26,520
- Hurray!
- Hurray!
376
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:29,990
- So wait. Did we do good?
- Yeah, I think so.
377
00:20:30,450 --> 00:20:31,570
We kick ass.
378
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:33,830
Come on, kids.
Let's go get some ice cream.
379
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,630
You can't do this, you homophobe!
380
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,620
Well, Timmy, I guess we learned
an important lesson, too, very much.
381
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,790
There is room for more than one
handi-capable person in Scouts.
382
00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:45,210
- Timmy.
- I'm glad we're best friends now.
383
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:46,970
- See you at Scouts.
- Timmy.
384
00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:54,270
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy
385
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,140
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy
386
00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:58,480
Timmy, Timmy
387
00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:03,610
Dude, Timmy, come on.
We're gonna be late for Scouts.
388
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,830
All right, boys.
I am your new Scout leader.
389
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,790
Everything is going to be just fine.
No naked pictures.
390
00:21:13,210 --> 00:21:14,870
- Timmy.
- Yes, Timmy?
391
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:18,500
- Oh, dear. Jimmy?
- Yes?
392
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,420
You know our policy.
I'm afraid you're out of Scouts.
393
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:23,670
Out of Scouts?
394
00:21:26,060 --> 00:21:27,140
Timmy.
395
00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:30,640
What? Hey, wait a minute.
This is crazy! You can't do this.
396
00:21:30,770 --> 00:21:33,350
- Wow, I never knew Jimmy was gay.
- Me, neither.
397
00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:35,940
- No! No!
- Timmy!