1 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,140 Settle down children. 2 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:44,141 I have some difficult news which is going to make you all very sad. 3 00:00:44,287 --> 00:00:47,400 The school board is considering firing me as your teacher. 4 00:00:48,327 --> 00:00:52,764 There is a possibility I might be let go and never allowed to teach you again. 5 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:55,082 - Yes Stanley? - That's ok with us. 6 00:00:55,207 --> 00:00:57,926 - That's fine. - No, it isn't it makes you very sad! 7 00:00:58,047 --> 00:01:00,281 Now apparently the school board thinks that I 8 00:01:00,282 --> 00:01:01,482 don't teach you anything about current events. 9 00:01:01,487 --> 00:01:05,275 So tomorrow they're gonna have you do presentations for the whole board. 10 00:01:06,527 --> 00:01:08,460 "Current events in South Park". 11 00:01:08,461 --> 00:01:11,461 ow I want you all to read a news paper or better yet watch television 12 00:01:11,887 --> 00:01:14,924 and come up with something current in South Park to do a report on. 13 00:01:16,287 --> 00:01:20,075 Now this will be a group project so I'm gonna place you all into groups of five. 14 00:01:20,207 --> 00:01:23,882 Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, Pip, and Token, you'll be group one. 15 00:01:24,007 --> 00:01:28,478 And group two will be Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny, and… 16 00:01:29,287 --> 00:01:31,437 and Tweek. 17 00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:34,400 - Oh not Tweek. - We don't wanna be in a group with Tweek. 18 00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:37,837 There's nothing wrong with Tweek. I bet he'll do a great job in your group. 19 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,554 I can't stand that kind of pressure! No sweet Jesus please! 20 00:01:40,555 --> 00:01:42,355 Dude, we can't work with this kid. 21 00:01:42,487 --> 00:01:44,642 That's what Chet Everet thought when the new female 22 00:01:44,643 --> 00:01:46,643 intern joined the cast of Medical Center. 23 00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:49,223 He thought who is this woman with her gozungas and high heels? 24 00:01:49,224 --> 00:01:50,224 What does she know about medicine? 25 00:01:50,225 --> 00:01:52,648 Well that intern saved Chet Everet's brother 26 00:01:52,649 --> 00:01:55,549 with a kidney transplant so you see? 27 00:01:55,607 --> 00:01:57,484 - No. - Well let me put another way. 28 00:01:57,607 --> 00:02:01,122 You have to give your reports to the town committee tomorrow! 29 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:03,752 And if it doesn't kick ass and you make me look bad, 30 00:02:03,753 --> 00:02:05,853 Mr. Hat is gonna smack you bitches up! 31 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,406 - Hello there customer. - Hello, how are you today? 32 00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:19,485 Great. What can I get for you? Large coffee, small coffee? 33 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,618 I'm actually interested in something else. 34 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:24,019 I'm John Poston from the Harbuck's Coffee Corporation. 35 00:02:24,047 --> 00:02:26,402 Oh, you're that corporate guy who keeps calling. 36 00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:29,961 That's right. How come you don't call me back? 37 00:02:29,962 --> 00:02:32,662 All we wanna do is buy out your coffee shop here. 38 00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:35,034 Oh forget it. My-my store is not for sale. 39 00:02:35,035 --> 00:02:39,035 My company's prepared to make you a very generous offer. 40 00:02:40,447 --> 00:02:42,782 This is a Crampsonite brief case. 41 00:02:42,783 --> 00:02:45,583 All leathered, has four compartments, and a key with lock. Interested? 42 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:48,445 I don't think so. My coffee shop is worth a lot to me. 43 00:02:48,446 --> 00:02:50,546 Alright how about five hundred thousand dollars? 44 00:02:50,647 --> 00:02:52,239 The answer is still no Mr. Poston. 45 00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:55,302 You see when my father opened this store thirty years ago, 46 00:02:55,303 --> 00:02:58,303 he cared about only one thing making a great cup of coffee. 47 00:02:58,407 --> 00:03:02,155 Sure we may take a little longer to brew a cup, we may not call it fancy names. 48 00:03:02,156 --> 00:03:04,056 I just guess we care a little more. 49 00:03:04,127 --> 00:03:06,193 And that's why Tweek coffee is still home 50 00:03:06,194 --> 00:03:07,794 brewed with the finest beans we can muster. 51 00:03:07,847 --> 00:03:12,523 Yes Tweek coffee is a simpler coffee for a simpler America. 52 00:03:12,647 --> 00:03:15,356 Well that's to bad. We're just gonna have 53 00:03:15,357 --> 00:03:17,657 to open our Harbucks right next door to you. 54 00:03:17,727 --> 00:03:19,408 But that could put me out of business. 55 00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:23,409 This is a capitalist country pal. Get used to it. 56 00:03:24,007 --> 00:03:26,965 - Hello Mr. Tweek. - Hi Officer Barbrady. 57 00:03:27,087 --> 00:03:30,238 - Who was that? - Oh just some dong. What can I get for you? 58 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,858 The usual. 59 00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:36,457 - Thanks see you tomorrow. - Bye-bye. 60 00:03:40,047 --> 00:03:43,278 Ok we have to do this stupid report on so... 61 00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:50,318 So lets figure out what to do it about. 62 00:03:52,087 --> 00:03:55,318 How about we do it on that Raymond guy on TV, you know everybody loves Raymond. 63 00:03:55,447 --> 00:03:57,429 No Cartman, we can't do it on Raymond again. 64 00:03:57,430 --> 00:03:59,930 It has to be on a current event in South Park. Tweek do you have any ideas? 65 00:04:00,127 --> 00:04:02,846 - This is to much pressure. - Great. Lot of help you are kid. 66 00:04:02,967 --> 00:04:04,396 - The Gnomes. - What? 67 00:04:04,397 --> 00:04:06,597 - We can do a report on the gnomes. - What gnomes? 68 00:04:06,727 --> 00:04:09,406 The Underpants Gnomes. The little guys that come in your room 69 00:04:09,407 --> 00:04:10,907 real late-late at night and steal your underpants. 70 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:16,916 So that's where all my underpants go. - Dude that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 71 00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:19,925 I've never seen any underpants gnomes. - They come out at 3:30 in the morning. 72 00:04:20,047 --> 00:04:23,278 Most people aren't up then, but I am. I can't sleep ever. 73 00:04:23,407 --> 00:04:25,547 Dude we can't do a presentation on underpants gnomes. 74 00:04:25,548 --> 00:04:27,248 Mr. Garrison will fail because you're making it up. 75 00:04:27,327 --> 00:04:30,302 Sleep at my house tonight. I'll prove it to you. 76 00:04:31,127 --> 00:04:33,773 They want me to sell the store. It's so much money. 77 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,574 Some things are more important than money. 78 00:04:35,607 --> 00:04:40,044 The people of South Park count on you to give them that first cup of coffee everyday. 79 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:43,936 I know, but if they open a Harbucks right next door we might go out of business. 80 00:04:43,937 --> 00:04:45,937 They really have my balls in a vice-grip. 81 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,765 Oh hello son. How was your day? 82 00:04:49,887 --> 00:04:52,401 - That's good. Who are your little friends? - What do you mean! 83 00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:55,405 - We're his oral report. - Ya. We have to stay up all night to write it. 84 00:04:55,527 --> 00:04:58,378 Well have some coffee boys. I'll brew up another pot for later. 85 00:04:58,379 --> 00:05:00,179 Coffee? I don't think I like coffee. 86 00:05:00,247 --> 00:05:02,643 Oh you'll like this coffee, it's fresh. 87 00:05:02,644 --> 00:05:05,544 Country fresh, like the morning after a rain storm. 88 00:05:05,607 --> 00:05:08,532 Kay. Maybe it'll help us figure out what to do our report on. We have to 89 00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:10,633 present it to the entire South Park town committee tomorrow. 90 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:14,405 Oh. I've got one for you. How about doing a report on how large 91 00:05:14,406 --> 00:05:17,006 corporations take over little family owned businesses. 92 00:05:17,087 --> 00:05:19,317 - Richard! - No I'm serious hon. 93 00:05:19,447 --> 00:05:22,120 These boys should learn how the corporate machine is ruining America. 94 00:05:22,247 --> 00:05:25,810 You see, I own a coffee shop and now some great, big multimillion-dollar 95 00:05:25,811 --> 00:05:28,111 company is going to move in and try to take all my business, 96 00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:31,642 which means I may have to shut down and sell my son Tweek into slavery. 97 00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:34,156 - Slavery?! - Yes slavery. 98 00:05:34,287 --> 00:05:37,563 - Wow that sucks dude. - They really have my balls in a salad shooter. 99 00:05:37,687 --> 00:05:40,406 We're already doing a paper on Tweek's underpants gnomes. 100 00:05:40,527 --> 00:05:44,725 Now Tweek, how many times do we have to tell you, your underpants are missing 101 00:05:44,847 --> 00:05:47,361 because you lose them not because of underpants gnomes. 102 00:05:47,487 --> 00:05:49,010 C'mon you guys. We better get to work. 103 00:05:49,011 --> 00:05:52,711 Ok, but corporate takeovers is a much more fertile subject. 104 00:05:52,887 --> 00:05:56,163 Honestly Richard, I don't see why you have to preach to some eight-year-olds. 105 00:05:56,287 --> 00:06:00,075 Actually honey, I think those little tikes are just what we need. I've got an idea. 106 00:06:03,167 --> 00:06:05,635 - Man, this stuff is strong. - Kinda bitter. 107 00:06:05,767 --> 00:06:08,884 - What if my parents go out of business? What'll I do? - Don't worry about it. 108 00:06:09,007 --> 00:06:12,556 But we'll starve and die like dogs. - Tweek, Tweek, you can always go on welfare. 109 00:06:12,687 --> 00:06:13,889 Look at Kenny's family. 110 00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:16,890 They're perfectly happy being poor and on welfare, right Kenny? - Fuck you. 111 00:06:16,927 --> 00:06:20,715 You suck Kenny. - Well let's just try and finish all this coffee so we can stay up. 112 00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:26,642 This stuff rocks. 113 00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:28,485 Totally dude. I feel awesome! 114 00:06:31,287 --> 00:06:34,757 You guys! You guys! Seriously! I feel great! 115 00:06:36,447 --> 00:06:39,166 - Hey Tweek, do have anymore of this stuff? - Just some grounds. 116 00:06:39,287 --> 00:06:40,925 KILLER! 117 00:06:42,207 --> 00:06:44,641 Hey let me have some grounds! 118 00:06:45,607 --> 00:06:48,041 Whoa Cartman. Whoopee! 119 00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:54,356 - Oh, my stomach hurts. - Ya mine too. I wonder why? 120 00:06:54,487 --> 00:06:57,604 Well it's three thirty and I don't any goddamn underpants gnomes, Tweek. 121 00:06:57,727 --> 00:07:01,925 M-maybe it's all in my head. Maybe I'm going insane. Oh no I'm going insane! 122 00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:05,045 Well this is just great. We haven't gotten anything done and we're totally screwed. 123 00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:07,237 - How's the report going boys? - Bad. 124 00:07:07,367 --> 00:07:09,358 Oh, do you need some more coffee? 125 00:07:09,487 --> 00:07:11,717 No… more… coffee. 126 00:07:11,847 --> 00:07:17,001 Well boys, I don't mean to pry, but if you want it, I wrote your report for you. 127 00:07:17,127 --> 00:07:20,039 - You did!? - Yes, It's all about corporate takeovers. 128 00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:23,239 - Of course, you don't have to use it. - No, we'll use it. 129 00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:27,280 Alright, and it can be our little secret about who wrote it, right? - Sure! 130 00:07:27,487 --> 00:07:31,400 When you kids do the report make sure you read this part first alright? 131 00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:35,406 - There they are! - Time to go to work, work all night. 132 00:07:35,527 --> 00:07:41,318 Gotta get underpants we. We won't stop until we have underpants. Lots of yummy pants we. 133 00:07:42,727 --> 00:07:44,763 You guys look! Look you're missing it! 134 00:07:48,247 --> 00:07:49,441 They took 'em again! 135 00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:51,922 - Thanks dude. - My pleasure. Good night boys. 136 00:07:52,047 --> 00:07:53,527 Wow Tweek, your dad rocks. 137 00:07:53,528 --> 00:07:56,128 Why do they torture me like this?! Why can't they leave me alone?! 138 00:07:56,207 --> 00:07:59,279 - Dammit, what the hell is wrong with you Tweek? - They took my underpants again. 139 00:07:59,407 --> 00:08:02,604 Soon they'll want my blood. Blood! 140 00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:13,122 And as the voluminous corporate automaton bulldozes it's way through bantam America, 141 00:08:13,247 --> 00:08:18,037 What will become of the endeavoring American family? 142 00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:20,096 I don't think they wrote this, Mr. Hat. 143 00:08:20,097 --> 00:08:23,597 Perhaps there is no stopping the corporate machine. 144 00:08:23,847 --> 00:08:28,125 - And that's our report. I guess. - Well boys it's obvious that you didn't even... 145 00:08:28,247 --> 00:08:30,477 - Great job. - Yes, great job. 146 00:08:30,607 --> 00:08:34,520 Boys you have really opened our eyes. We didn't even know this was happening. 147 00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:37,639 - Neither did we. - Well Mr. Garrison it looks like we were wrong about you. 148 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,042 You really are teaching these kids something. 149 00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:43,398 Ya well I don't wanna sound like a dick hole, but I told you so. 150 00:08:43,527 --> 00:08:47,360 I am really moved. I say we follow these boys' cause. 151 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:50,061 Let's join them in the fight against corporate takeovers. 152 00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:53,603 - Lead the way boys. - It's to much pressure! 153 00:08:55,767 --> 00:09:01,000 Good, good. Now make sure that sign is really bright and flashy now. 154 00:09:01,127 --> 00:09:04,250 My goodness, that's going to be a really big coffee house, honey. 155 00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:06,851 Yes it is. They really have my balls in a juice maker. 156 00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:10,237 Oh hello son, how did your report go? 157 00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:12,642 I think it went really good. Those people really go into it. 158 00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:16,142 Really? Well son you might have just saved the family business, 159 00:09:16,143 --> 00:09:17,343 what do you have to say about that? 160 00:09:17,407 --> 00:09:19,716 - I need coffee. - I know how you boys feel. 161 00:09:19,847 --> 00:09:22,244 Sometimes a hot cup of French Roast Almerato 162 00:09:22,245 --> 00:09:24,245 is just what a man needs to get him through the day. 163 00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:28,804 That smooth aroma and mild taste is what makes Tweek Coffee so very special. 164 00:09:28,927 --> 00:09:32,442 Special, like an Arizona sunrise or a Juniper wet with dew. 165 00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:35,400 A lite rain in the middle of a dusty afternoon or a hug from your dear old aunt... 166 00:09:35,527 --> 00:09:37,677 - Dad! - What? - The metaphors, man. 167 00:09:37,807 --> 00:09:39,559 Oh sorry. Here you go. 168 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,760 Hey, do you ever think that maybe you shouldn't give your son coffee? 169 00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:45,766 - Like how do you mean? - Like look at him. He's always shaking and nervous. 170 00:09:45,887 --> 00:09:49,276 Oh that. He has ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder. 171 00:09:49,277 --> 00:09:51,777 That's why he's so jittery all the time. 172 00:09:51,887 --> 00:09:57,245 Mr. Tweek, we only just heard. - Oh, hello committee members. What a surprise. 173 00:09:57,367 --> 00:10:00,757 So this is the corporate bulldozer trying to push you off the map? 174 00:10:00,887 --> 00:10:04,641 Yes, how did you hear? - These boys did an excellent report for us this morning. 175 00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:07,600 - They're so upset by this whole thing. - My butt hurts. 176 00:10:07,727 --> 00:10:09,222 Don't worry Mr. Tweek, 177 00:10:09,223 --> 00:10:13,023 this committee is not going to let you run out of business by these bastards. 178 00:10:13,127 --> 00:10:16,278 You hear that you're not gonna get away with this you whore! 179 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,920 Excuse me! 180 00:10:18,047 --> 00:10:21,756 Boys, we've talked it over and we want you to take your case to the mayor. 181 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:24,845 - Our case? - No man! That is way to much pressure. 182 00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:28,004 - Oh you'll do fine son. - C'mon boys, let's go! 183 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,102 Aw man, this sucks. 184 00:10:32,247 --> 00:10:35,017 And we would have never even known this was happening 185 00:10:35,018 --> 00:10:37,218 if it wasn't for these boys' excellent report. 186 00:10:37,327 --> 00:10:40,880 You're telling me that students from Mr. Garrison's class actually did 187 00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:42,881 something that had some kind of relevance to the world? 188 00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:44,838 That's right. 189 00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:47,242 - Mr. Garrison? The guy with the puppet? - Yes. 190 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:50,072 Well, I must say Garrison, perhaps you aren't as stupid and crazy 191 00:10:50,073 --> 00:10:51,433 as I always tell people you are. 192 00:10:51,447 --> 00:10:54,325 Thank you mayor. I don't want to sound like a dick hole but I... 193 00:10:54,447 --> 00:10:57,757 Mayor, these boys want that Harbucks Coffee shut down right now. 194 00:10:58,927 --> 00:11:01,236 Well I can't just shut them down. This is a free country. 195 00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:05,042 - But they're ruining our city. - The best I can do is create a proposition. 196 00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:06,749 We'll call it Prop Ten. 197 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,650 The town can vote on it, and if it passes we'll see what we can do. 198 00:11:09,767 --> 00:11:13,521 - Hurray! - What do you say boys? We're gonna pass a law. 199 00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:16,727 - Uh, hurray. - So I guess you wanna do some campaigning. 200 00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:21,125 You can do commercials and thing like that. We can have a vote in the middle of town, 201 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,796 and obviously if more than fifty percent of the people show up 202 00:11:24,927 --> 00:11:29,876 and care enough to want Harbucks out, then they're out. So good luck to you. 203 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,916 - Didn't you see them?! - Alright what's next? 204 00:11:33,047 --> 00:11:37,518 - Next is issue thirty-seven-D, missing underpants. - Is it cold in here? 205 00:11:37,647 --> 00:11:39,956 Boys could I have a quick this and that with you? 206 00:11:40,087 --> 00:11:42,263 Boys I don't know who wrote that report, 207 00:11:42,264 --> 00:11:44,664 but now that you've convinced everybody, you better stick with it. 208 00:11:44,727 --> 00:11:47,203 Because if these people find out that you didn't really write that paper 209 00:11:47,204 --> 00:11:51,884 and I actually do get fired, then Mr. Hat is gonna do horrible things to you. 210 00:11:52,807 --> 00:11:56,402 Oh not that Mr. Hat, that's real horrible. 211 00:11:56,527 --> 00:11:59,439 Anyway, good luck passing your new law boys. 212 00:11:59,567 --> 00:12:01,444 Jesus man, Jesus! What are we gonna do huh?! 213 00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:07,403 Live! It's the South Park Town Hall meeting on Public Access. Tonight's topic, Prop Ten! 214 00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:13,159 Should Harbucks be able to open a store in South Park? That's tonight's topic. 215 00:12:13,287 --> 00:12:17,121 On my left, five innocent, starry-eyed boys from middle America. 216 00:12:17,247 --> 00:12:21,525 On my right a big fat, smelly corporate guy from New York. 217 00:12:21,647 --> 00:12:25,117 - Hey, I'm not fat or smelly. - Alright Mr. Deuschbag. 218 00:12:25,247 --> 00:12:29,160 Poston. - Pardon me Mr. Ass Face. Anyway let's hear your side of the argument. 219 00:12:30,047 --> 00:12:34,484 My argument is simple, this country is founded on free enterprise. 220 00:12:34,607 --> 00:12:37,758 Harbucks is an organization that... 221 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:41,277 An organization that prides itself on great coffee! 222 00:12:41,407 --> 00:12:44,319 We simply want to... Aw to hell with you! 223 00:12:44,447 --> 00:12:49,965 Ok, Arcafé. Now for the other side of the argument we turn to our young, handsome lads. 224 00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:53,181 Boys your thoughts. 225 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:57,356 C'mon boys, don't be shy. What's your principle argument? 226 00:13:02,327 --> 00:13:04,522 This guy sucks ass! 227 00:13:06,127 --> 00:13:08,436 - Great argument. You win boys. - What?! 228 00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,159 That was close Mr. Hat. 229 00:13:11,847 --> 00:13:16,637 What is the future of America? Is it the money we make? The quests we conquer? 230 00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:22,683 No. It's the children. So what do the children have to say about Prop Ten? 231 00:13:22,807 --> 00:13:26,436 - I don't like big corporations. - I like small businesses. 232 00:13:26,567 --> 00:13:30,446 I believe in the family owned enterprise. 233 00:13:31,047 --> 00:13:33,447 To get back to the home owned enterprise. 234 00:13:34,327 --> 00:13:39,447 It's time to stop large corporations. Prop Ten is about children. 235 00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:43,446 Vote yes on Prop Ten or else you hate children. 236 00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:47,924 You don't hate children, do you? 237 00:13:48,047 --> 00:13:51,960 Remember, keep American business small or else... 238 00:13:52,487 --> 00:13:56,654 Paid for by citizens for a fair and equal way to get 239 00:13:56,655 --> 00:13:59,655 Harbucks Coffee kicked out of town forever. 240 00:14:00,087 --> 00:14:03,079 - Well, what do you think? - Oh, i-it's great. 241 00:14:03,207 --> 00:14:07,519 - Yes it is. We'll put it on the air immediately. - What do you think hon? 242 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,444 Hon, what's the matter? 243 00:14:09,567 --> 00:14:12,240 - I have a big problem with this. - What do you mean? 244 00:14:12,367 --> 00:14:16,838 We're just using those boys for our benefit. They have no idea what they're saying. 245 00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:19,276 But kids are great to get people on our side. 246 00:14:19,407 --> 00:14:23,605 You don't just throw a child in a political commercial to sell your beliefs. 247 00:14:23,727 --> 00:14:26,082 I won't be a part of this anymore. 248 00:14:26,207 --> 00:14:29,643 Honey, all's fair in love and war… and coffee. 249 00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:32,201 Hon? 250 00:14:35,647 --> 00:14:40,198 Take your corporate coffee and go back to New York City! 251 00:14:40,327 --> 00:14:45,242 It's people like you who are ruining Main Street, USA! 252 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:49,679 How many Native Americans did you slaughter to make that coffee, huh?! 253 00:14:52,087 --> 00:14:57,207 Damn, these people aren't buying any coffee. I'll have to try and apeal to the younger crowd. 254 00:14:58,847 --> 00:15:02,886 Hey kid, I'm Camel Joe and I love a fresh cup of coffee. 255 00:15:03,007 --> 00:15:07,159 It's yum diddly-icous. It makes you feel super. 256 00:15:08,287 --> 00:15:12,565 I have a surprise for you. The new kiddycinno from Harbucks. 257 00:15:12,687 --> 00:15:15,274 More sugar than all the other goodies 258 00:15:15,275 --> 00:15:17,975 kids like with all the caffeine of a normal Double Latte. 259 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,117 No Billy. No coffee for you. 260 00:15:20,247 --> 00:15:25,480 You should be ashamed of yourself. Using cartoons to push caffeine on children. 261 00:15:25,607 --> 00:15:28,519 Why don't you go back to the hole you crawled out from lady? 262 00:15:28,647 --> 00:15:32,959 Uh, Mr. Poston I think you've got a lot to learn about making coffee. 263 00:15:33,087 --> 00:15:36,875 Oh, you don't? Your coffee tastes like three-day-old- moldy diarrhea. 264 00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:39,831 I'm sorry to inform you that this town is having a vote tomorrow, 265 00:15:39,832 --> 00:15:42,332 and if the law passes you'll be thrown out of town. 266 00:15:42,407 --> 00:15:44,523 - What?! - At five o'clock the best coffee wins. 267 00:15:44,647 --> 00:15:48,560 Either your coffee or a fresh warm cup of Tweek's coffee. 268 00:15:48,687 --> 00:15:51,021 Like an old sweater that keeps getting warmer with age, 269 00:15:51,022 --> 00:15:54,322 you can count on Tweek's coffee to start your day. 270 00:15:54,407 --> 00:15:58,116 Tomorrow for the Prop Ten vote we'll set up ballot booths… here. 271 00:15:58,247 --> 00:16:00,284 Alright and then we'll put up the stage here. 272 00:16:00,285 --> 00:16:02,585 Before the vote we'll get a band that everyone likes, like, uh, like... 273 00:16:02,647 --> 00:16:04,365 - like... - Toto. 274 00:16:04,487 --> 00:16:07,466 Like Toto. And then the Harbucks guy will have five minutes to speak and 275 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,767 then those boys will have five minutes to speak and then the town votes. 276 00:16:09,847 --> 00:16:12,839 - Uh boys, you better get your asses to work. - What now? 277 00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:15,817 They're expecting you to give a big speech on corporate takeovers 278 00:16:15,818 --> 00:16:17,318 and this time it has to last five minutes. 279 00:16:17,447 --> 00:16:20,757 - Oh god, when is this gonna end? - Your dad really screwed us Tweek. 280 00:16:20,887 --> 00:16:24,323 Jesus dude. I'm to blame for all this. I'm to blame for everything! 281 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:31,238 - So what are we gonna say? - Why don't we just read the paper we wrote last time? 282 00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:33,642 Because then they'll we didn't write it dummy. We have to be original. 283 00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:36,359 Does anybody know anything about corporations? 284 00:16:39,327 --> 00:16:41,841 - I think my mom is a corporation. - Ya that makes sense. 285 00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:45,004 - You guys! - How about we say corporates should be stopped. 286 00:16:45,127 --> 00:16:48,483 - How do we stretch that into five minutes? - They're taking my underpants! 287 00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:51,326 Will you stop with the underpants gnome, Tweek? We have to work here. 288 00:16:54,287 --> 00:16:56,960 - What the hell? - Well I'll be damned. 289 00:16:57,087 --> 00:17:00,238 That's my last pair of underpants! 290 00:17:03,807 --> 00:17:06,605 - Don't scare him. - Hey there little guy. 291 00:17:06,727 --> 00:17:08,819 - Bad! - Cartman! - What? 292 00:17:08,847 --> 00:17:10,893 Why do you always have to hit stuff with a stick? 293 00:17:10,894 --> 00:17:13,394 Well look at him. He's all… you know… look at him. 294 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,875 - Is that all you got pussy? - What?! - Hey he talked. 295 00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:19,602 - Ya he called me a pussy. I'm not a pussy you're a pussy! - You're a pussy, pussy. 296 00:17:19,847 --> 00:17:23,726 Dude, why are you taking Tweek's underpants? - Ya, look what you're doing to this poor kid. 297 00:17:23,847 --> 00:17:27,476 Stealing underpants, big business. - Business? Wait, do you know anything about business? 298 00:17:27,607 --> 00:17:29,757 - Sure that's what gnomes do. - Show us. 299 00:17:29,887 --> 00:17:31,837 Ok. Follow me. 300 00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:35,720 Little pussy gnome. Don't call me a pussy. 301 00:17:38,047 --> 00:17:41,039 - Not much longer now. - Oh are you taking us to your little pussy house? 302 00:17:41,167 --> 00:17:43,761 - No Pussy, I'm taking you to my village. - Oh, your pussy village? 303 00:17:43,887 --> 00:17:45,525 Cartman will you just shut up and let him show us? 304 00:17:46,647 --> 00:17:50,481 Follow me. - I hope we're not wasting our time with this little pecker. 305 00:17:54,687 --> 00:17:58,043 Well, it looks like Harbucks will never make it in this town. 306 00:17:58,167 --> 00:18:01,842 Alright boys. That's it. Pack it up, we're moving out of town. 307 00:18:01,967 --> 00:18:06,119 But we just finished. - I know. But these folks obviously don't want us here. 308 00:18:06,247 --> 00:18:08,522 But what will become of us? 309 00:18:08,647 --> 00:18:11,719 Oh quit being so melodramatic, Sanchez. Jesus Christ. 310 00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:17,679 Damn, dude. This place is huge. - Ya, It's almost as big as Cartman's ass. 311 00:18:17,807 --> 00:18:21,800 - No it isn't you guys. - This is where all our work is done. 312 00:18:21,927 --> 00:18:24,315 So what are you gonna do with all these underpants you steal? 313 00:18:24,316 --> 00:18:28,316 Collecting underpants is just phase one. Phase one collect underpants. 314 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,365 So what's phase two? 315 00:18:33,607 --> 00:18:37,486 - Hey, what's phase two?! - Phase one we collect underpants. 316 00:18:37,607 --> 00:18:39,916 Ya, ya, ya. But what about phase two? 317 00:18:42,327 --> 00:18:45,637 - Well phase three is profit. Get it? - I don't get it. 318 00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:49,442 You see, Phase one collect underpants, phase two... 319 00:18:50,287 --> 00:18:52,847 - Phase three profit. - Oh I get it. 320 00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:56,243 - No you don't fat ass. - Do you guys know anything about corporations? 321 00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:59,643 - You bet we do. - Us gnomes are geniuses at corporations. 322 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:03,998 Jesus, look out! 323 00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:07,958 - Oh my god they killed Kenny. - You bastards. 324 00:19:08,087 --> 00:19:11,009 Listen we have to give a huge speech about corporate takeovers. 325 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:12,210 Holy shit, we killed your friend. 326 00:19:13,327 --> 00:19:16,285 Look, we gotta know about corporate takeovers tomorrow or we're screwed. 327 00:19:16,407 --> 00:19:20,161 Christ! We squished him like a bug! - Do you know anything about corporate takeovers? 328 00:19:20,847 --> 00:19:24,760 - Well we can explain that to you easily. - Yes, for a price. - What? 329 00:19:24,887 --> 00:19:26,479 - You know. - Underpants? 330 00:19:26,607 --> 00:19:28,165 Underpants! 331 00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:35,317 Toto ladies and gentlemen! 332 00:19:39,447 --> 00:19:43,998 Alright and now before we all vote yes on Prop Ten, here to remind us why 333 00:19:44,127 --> 00:19:46,806 are the loveable innocent children. 334 00:19:48,127 --> 00:19:52,142 Since we are so concerned with the corporate takeovers, we went and asked 335 00:19:52,143 --> 00:19:55,235 our friends the underpants gnomes and they told us all about big corporations. 336 00:19:55,267 --> 00:19:59,476 Underpants gnomes? - Big corporations are good. - What's this? - Good? 337 00:19:59,607 --> 00:20:02,666 Because without big corporations we wouldn't have things 338 00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,167 like cars and computers and canned soup. 339 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:07,165 Even Harbucks coffee started off as a small, little business. 340 00:20:07,287 --> 00:20:09,933 But because it made such great coffee and because they ran 341 00:20:09,934 --> 00:20:12,171 their business so well, they managed to grow and grow 342 00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:13,872 until it became the corporate powerhouse it is today. 343 00:20:13,927 --> 00:20:17,124 And that's why we should all let Harbucks stay. 344 00:20:20,047 --> 00:20:24,962 That's not what you said last time. - Well the truth is we didn't write that paper last time. 345 00:20:25,707 --> 00:20:29,837 You little turds! You've ruined my life for the last time! 346 00:20:34,607 --> 00:20:38,155 These boys are absolutely right. We've been using these poor kids to pull 347 00:20:38,156 --> 00:20:40,256 at your heart strings for our cause and it's wrong. 348 00:20:40,387 --> 00:20:42,742 We're as low and despicable as Rob Reiner. 349 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,723 You keep protesting and complaining, 350 00:20:44,724 --> 00:20:48,724 but did any of you even bother to taste Harbucks Coffee? 351 00:20:49,467 --> 00:20:52,016 Harbucks Coffee got to where it is by being the best. 352 00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:55,017 Don't you think you should at least try it? 353 00:20:58,907 --> 00:21:01,785 Hey, this is pretty damn good. 354 00:21:01,907 --> 00:21:06,185 Ya it doesn't have that bland, raw sewage taste that Tweeks Coffee has. 355 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:11,256 Hey, hey that is good. 356 00:21:11,387 --> 00:21:14,584 - It's a French Roast. - It's suttle and mild. 357 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:19,576 Mild like that first flash of sun on an April morning. This is coffee the way it should be. 358 00:21:19,707 --> 00:21:22,522 Hey, no hard feelings Tweek. Ya know, 359 00:21:22,523 --> 00:21:25,223 we still need some one to run this Harbucks Coffe House. 360 00:21:25,347 --> 00:21:27,736 I'm sure it will make a lot of money. 361 00:21:27,867 --> 00:21:29,951 Thank you Mr. Poston, but I think we'll be fine 362 00:21:29,952 --> 00:21:32,952 with the money we make selling our son into slavery. 363 00:21:33,427 --> 00:21:35,418 Just kidding son. 364 00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:38,700 I love you guys.