1 00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:09,187 Since the last South Park you've waited four long weeks to find out who the father of Eric Cartman is. 2 00:00:09,317 --> 00:00:14,788 Now, finally, the shocking truth about Cartman's lineage 3 00:00:14,817 --> 00:00:17,990 will not be seen tonight so we can bring you the following special presentation 4 00:00:19,297 --> 00:00:23,129 Now, get ready for Canada's hottest action stars. 5 00:00:23,137 --> 00:00:26,570 Terrance and Phillip in the HBC Movie of the Week, 6 00:00:35,737 --> 00:00:38,510 Ladies and gentlemen, before you today sits a murderer. 7 00:00:38,637 --> 00:00:42,087 On the night in question, this monster entered the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer, 8 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,454 and struck him repeatedly in the head with this hammer. 9 00:00:44,655 --> 00:00:48,755 That monster is sitting right over there, and his name is Terrance. 10 00:00:51,037 --> 00:00:55,691 - Uh, Terrance, you farted in court. - Yes Phillip, I'm making a case for our defense. 11 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:58,345 All of these things link Terrance to the murder: 12 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:02,009 hair fibers, blood samples, nail clippings, a piece of his shirt. 13 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,900 A watch with his initials on it, a day planner with the murder scheduled. 14 00:01:07,237 --> 00:01:10,035 a haiku called "Time to Kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer." 15 00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:14,673 "Dr. O'Dwyer, time to have your head smashed in, with my new hammer." 16 00:01:15,797 --> 00:01:19,076 Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but you're not God. 17 00:01:19,377 --> 00:01:21,077 Je accuse Terrance. 18 00:01:21,477 --> 00:01:24,172 - Would you like a monkey claw Phillip? - Yes please. 19 00:01:25,757 --> 00:01:27,626 That's called the monkey claw cause it feels like 20 00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:30,626 my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys. 21 00:01:30,827 --> 00:01:32,222 The monkey claw is smelly. 22 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:35,308 Come on, get a move-on, I ain't getting a younger up here. 23 00:01:35,437 --> 00:01:39,715 My sentiments exactly Your Honor. I see from your accent that you're Southern Canadian. 24 00:01:39,837 --> 00:01:43,989 - That is correct. - Good people of the jury, my client Terrance is an innocent man. 25 00:01:44,677 --> 00:01:49,274 - Oh ho, Phillip, now you farted during the closing argument. - I have, haven't I Terrance. 26 00:01:51,957 --> 00:01:54,819 Your Honor, the defense is trying to make a mockery of this court. 27 00:01:54,820 --> 00:01:57,510 They think farts are funny, but they're not. 28 00:01:57,637 --> 00:02:00,852 - Sustained. - Good people of the jury, my client Terrance... 29 00:02:00,853 --> 00:02:02,553 ...is no more a murderer than you or me. 30 00:02:02,677 --> 00:02:04,696 He loves puppies and hates mean things. 31 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:08,611 Would a murderer go to the zoo and feed animals like this? 32 00:02:08,797 --> 00:02:13,712 Of course not. So, in summation, find Terrance innocent, or else he'll kill you. 33 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,354 Just kidding. The defense rests. 34 00:02:18,977 --> 00:02:21,513 God damnit, that isn't funny! 35 00:02:22,677 --> 00:02:25,510 Madam Foreperson, have you reached a verdict so we can get the hell out of here? 36 00:02:25,637 --> 00:02:27,762 We have Your Honor; we have found Terrance, 37 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:32,154 in the above-entitled action of murder against Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer... 38 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:36,115 You're going to have to repeat that verdict since we had some flatulence issues. 39 00:02:36,237 --> 00:02:37,651 I said, we find... 40 00:02:38,752 --> 00:02:39,752 We find Terrance... 41 00:02:40,877 --> 00:02:41,835 NOT GUILTY!!! 42 00:02:42,157 --> 00:02:44,849 Did you hear that Terrance? You're not guilty! 43 00:02:44,977 --> 00:02:48,035 Oh Phillip, you saved me from the gas chamber! 44 00:02:52,317 --> 00:02:55,626 That sure was fun. Let's go home and eat Kroff Dinner. 45 00:02:56,157 --> 00:02:59,035 Well, looks like you got away with it Terrance and Phillip. 46 00:02:59,157 --> 00:03:01,591 Oh, hello Scott. No hard feelings, right old pal? 47 00:03:01,717 --> 00:03:03,668 There are hard feelings, this isn't over. 48 00:03:03,669 --> 00:03:07,481 I'm going to see to it that you both pay for what you've done. 49 00:03:08,077 --> 00:03:09,396 - And do you know why? - 'Cause you're a dick? 50 00:03:09,517 --> 00:03:13,610 No, because I hate you. You think farting is soo funny, well it isn't! 51 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,912 Fart jokes are the lowest form of comedy, and if I... 52 00:03:17,837 --> 00:03:20,704 Oh, I hate you both. I've hated you ever since I can remember. 53 00:03:20,705 --> 00:03:22,905 I hate you and I wish you both had cancer. 54 00:03:23,757 --> 00:03:26,146 - Cancer? - Yes, in the head. 55 00:03:26,277 --> 00:03:30,873 - Head cancer? - This is not the end Terrance and Phillip. You'll rue this day. 56 00:03:30,997 --> 00:03:34,866 - Wow, Scott really hates us Phillip. - Yes, perhaps he's homophobic. 57 00:03:36,277 --> 00:03:38,996 - But we're not gay, Phillip. - We're not? 58 00:03:39,117 --> 00:03:42,826 Well, let us board the subway and return home. There we can eat Kroff Dinner. 59 00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:46,491 Yes, it's been a long day, and only Kroff Dinner can calm my nerves. 60 00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:57,630 Say Phillip, why does Scott always try to convict me of murder? He does it every week. 61 00:03:57,757 --> 00:04:00,988 He sure does seem to hate us. I wonder what he'll try next. 62 00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:04,189 - God only knows. - The subway certainly is wonderful Terrance. 63 00:04:04,317 --> 00:04:08,947 - It sure is. Let's look for treasure. - Yes, let's look for treasure. 64 00:04:15,957 --> 00:04:18,452 - Hello? - Hello, is this Scott from Canada? 65 00:04:18,553 --> 00:04:19,553 Yes, yes it is. 66 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:23,352 - You're a journalist, right? - Yes, I'm a television critic for magazines. 67 00:04:23,477 --> 00:04:25,388 I understand that you hate Terrance and Phillip. 68 00:04:25,517 --> 00:04:26,369 Yes, yes I do. 69 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:29,630 They think that farts are a sophisticated form of comedy, but they're not. 70 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,834 Well, what if I were to help you get rid of them once and for all? 71 00:04:32,957 --> 00:04:33,985 Who is this? 72 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:37,354 Let's just say that I'm someone who can help you if you help me. 73 00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:42,028 - Just call me your old pal, Saddam Hussein. - Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi dictator?!? 74 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:45,567 Hey, relax guy. I'm just your average Joe. Take a rest. 75 00:04:45,568 --> 00:04:46,568 What do you want? 76 00:04:46,797 --> 00:04:48,461 You want Terrance and Phillip out of Canada; 77 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,462 I want you to bring me and my friends into Canada. 78 00:04:50,877 --> 00:04:53,794 That sounds like a fair trade, doesn't it? Super, let's get started. 79 00:04:53,817 --> 00:04:58,295 - I'm not sure I should trust you. - Hey, relax guy, trust me. 80 00:05:02,747 --> 00:05:05,519 Well, it's too bad we didn't find any treasure on the subway Phillip. 81 00:05:06,027 --> 00:05:08,360 - Oh, hello Ugly Bob. - Hello Terrance, hello Phillip. 82 00:05:08,487 --> 00:05:11,229 - My God, you're looking hideously ugly today Ugly Bob. 83 00:05:11,230 --> 00:05:12,630 How come you guys say stuff like that? 84 00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:15,695 - Because you're God Damned ugly Bob. - I know, but... 85 00:05:15,796 --> 00:05:18,996 Ugly Bob, your face looks like somebody tried to put out forest fire with a screwdriver. 86 00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:20,336 I can't help how I look. 87 00:05:20,337 --> 00:05:24,037 Besides, it's not what's on the outside that matters, it's what's on the inside. 88 00:05:24,087 --> 00:05:25,476 No it isn't. 89 00:05:26,607 --> 00:05:28,596 Want to see what's on the inside of me? 90 00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:32,138 Wait, wait. I've got an idea. 91 00:05:32,139 --> 00:05:34,439 Why don't you put this paper bag over your head Ugly Bob? 92 00:05:34,527 --> 00:05:38,202 Yes, if people can't see your face, they won't know how wretchedly ugly you are. 93 00:05:38,327 --> 00:05:41,603 Really? Hey, thanks you guys. Maybe now I can score with chicks. 94 00:05:41,727 --> 00:05:43,005 Sure you can Ugly Bob. 95 00:05:43,006 --> 00:05:46,006 If they can't see how horribly disfigured you are, they'll want to sleep with you. 96 00:05:46,127 --> 00:05:47,406 Thanks you guys. 97 00:05:51,087 --> 00:05:52,682 Hello Barky, hello Purry. 98 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:53,883 Bark Bark. 99 00:05:54,084 --> 00:05:54,784 Purr Purr. 100 00:05:54,927 --> 00:05:57,409 Say, Terrance, I was just aboot to make some Kroff Dinner. 101 00:05:57,410 --> 00:06:02,210 - Would you like some? - You know I never turn down Kroff Dinner, Phillip. 102 00:06:02,287 --> 00:06:04,924 I'm going to put on a pirate costume. 103 00:06:05,727 --> 00:06:08,366 - Special delivery for Terrance. - I'll take that. 104 00:06:08,487 --> 00:06:12,100 Sign here and here and here and here and here. 105 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:17,846 - And here. - Oh Terrance, you got a letter. 106 00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:21,755 Shiver me timbers Phillip, at this rate I'll never get to my Kroff Dinner. 107 00:06:21,887 --> 00:06:24,321 - Oh my God!!! - What is it Terrance? Did you fart? 108 00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:27,200 No, it's Sally, she's being held captive in Iran. 109 00:06:27,327 --> 00:06:31,081 Not Sally, dear God no Terrance, why Sally, God why? 110 00:06:31,207 --> 00:06:33,357 - Say Terrance, who's Sally? - My daughter. 111 00:06:33,487 --> 00:06:37,480 - I never knew you had a daughter, Terrance. - Oh yes, didn't I mention that me heartys? 112 00:06:37,607 --> 00:06:38,960 No, you never did, Terrance. 113 00:06:39,087 --> 00:06:42,159 Oh, well, it all began fifteen years ago. 114 00:06:45,327 --> 00:06:48,876 My God, what a fascinating story Terrance, especially the part aboot Celine Dion. 115 00:06:49,007 --> 00:06:52,391 Yes, indeed. But now my little Sally is being held captive in Iran, 116 00:06:52,392 --> 00:06:54,102 and I will have to go and find her. 117 00:06:54,127 --> 00:06:56,960 - Then I will go with you Terrance. - You are such a good friend Phillip. 118 00:06:57,087 --> 00:07:00,285 Well, You know what they say; "A friend in need is a friend with Kroff Dinner." 119 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:01,286 Advance there maties. 120 00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:10,396 - Hello Celine Dion. - Terrance, this is quite a surprise. 121 00:07:10,527 --> 00:07:12,245 - You're looking well. - And you. 122 00:07:12,367 --> 00:07:14,123 - Celine, where is our daughter Sally? 123 00:07:14,124 --> 00:07:17,424 She's in the Middle East, studying anthropology. Why? 124 00:07:17,447 --> 00:07:21,884 - Wrong, she's been taken hostage and is now being held prisoner. - What?!? 125 00:07:22,007 --> 00:07:25,204 Phillip and I are going to Iran to find her, but we may never return. 126 00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:29,685 - Oh, Terrance, what happened to us? - We just grew apart, Celine Dion. 127 00:07:29,807 --> 00:07:33,197 Please, bring our daughter home safe, Terrance. 128 00:07:38,407 --> 00:07:41,399 - Hello Ugly Bob. - Hi guys. - How's the paper bag working out? 129 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:44,024 People seem to really like it. I even have a date this Friday. 130 00:07:44,147 --> 00:07:46,734 - Terrific. We need two tickets for Teheran please. 131 00:07:46,735 --> 00:07:48,806 Iran is dangerous; you guys shouldn't go there. 132 00:07:48,807 --> 00:07:52,358 Damnit man. Danger or no, I'm going to help my friend find his daughter. 133 00:07:53,487 --> 00:07:55,420 - All right then, there's a flight leaving today. 134 00:07:55,421 --> 00:07:58,921 Oh good. Well, I certainly am going to miss Canada, Terrance. 135 00:07:58,927 --> 00:08:00,099 Indeed Phillip. 136 00:08:00,727 --> 00:08:03,911 Terrance, if I die whilst in Iran, please bring my body back to Canada, 137 00:08:03,912 --> 00:08:06,212 and bury me in a box with a side of Kroff Dinner. 138 00:08:06,287 --> 00:08:07,436 Same here Phillip. 139 00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:14,598 O Canada! Our home and native land! 140 00:08:15,367 --> 00:08:18,803 True patriot love 141 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:23,120 in all thy sons command. 142 00:08:23,447 --> 00:08:27,156 With glowing hearts we see thee rise, 143 00:08:27,287 --> 00:08:30,836 The True North strong and free! 144 00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:34,846 From far and wide, O Canada, 145 00:08:34,967 --> 00:08:39,438 we stand on guard for thee. 146 00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:43,162 God keep our land 147 00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:46,363 Scott to Red Dragon, come in Red Dragon. 148 00:08:46,487 --> 00:08:48,364 Go-ahead guy, this is Red Dragon. 149 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,240 The plan is working perfectly; Terrance and Phillip are taking the bait. 150 00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:54,176 Excellent, my buddies and I are ready to come to Canada. 151 00:08:54,177 --> 00:08:55,600 Has everything been arranged? 152 00:08:55,607 --> 00:08:57,474 Yes, everything's proceeding according to plan. 153 00:08:57,475 --> 00:08:59,375 Now, you promised that when Terrance and Phillip arrive 154 00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:01,506 they'll be ripped into pieces and shot several times. 155 00:09:01,527 --> 00:09:04,564 Hey, relax guy, I'm gonna keep my side of the bargain. 156 00:09:04,687 --> 00:09:09,363 Roger Red Dragon, Scott out. I've got you now you fart loving fart lovers. 157 00:09:15,527 --> 00:09:17,404 I got you. 158 00:09:19,647 --> 00:09:21,683 Sprayed your face. 159 00:09:27,407 --> 00:09:31,002 Oh Phillip, how will I ever find my fugitive daughter in this daunting place? 160 00:09:31,127 --> 00:09:33,233 We don't speak the language, we are unwelcome strangers 161 00:09:33,234 --> 00:09:35,234 and we have no idea where to begin. 162 00:09:35,287 --> 00:09:37,198 Oh look, there she is. 163 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,045 - Oh good. - Who, where? 164 00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:41,226 I'm here Sally; it's your father, Terrance. 165 00:09:41,227 --> 00:09:43,227 I'm here to save you from your smelly Iranian captors. 166 00:09:43,327 --> 00:09:47,161 - Papa. - Say, she looks a lot more like Celine Dion than you Terrance. 167 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,723 - Oh, now I see the resemblance. - Well, enough of Iran, let's get home. 168 00:09:56,287 --> 00:09:58,276 Well, now that I've got my bastard daughter back, 169 00:09:58,277 --> 00:10:01,677 I feel like going to Celine Dion's house and asking her to marry me again. 170 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,918 - Oh, raspberries, looks like I'm losing a friend. 171 00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:05,219 No, you're gaining a pop vocalist. 172 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,763 Oh my God! What is this?!? 173 00:10:09,647 --> 00:10:12,876 - Is this Canada? - It seems to have changed. 174 00:10:13,407 --> 00:10:15,079 This is madness! 175 00:10:18,407 --> 00:10:19,819 What's going on Phillip? 176 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:22,000 How could Canada have changed so much whilst we were gone? 177 00:10:22,007 --> 00:10:25,317 I don't know Terrance. And who is that smelly person in all these pictures? 178 00:10:25,447 --> 00:10:28,326 I must take my bastard daughter back to Celine Dion and see what she has to say. 179 00:10:33,487 --> 00:10:36,285 Celine, I brought our daughter Sally back, and I want to tell you that... 180 00:10:36,407 --> 00:10:38,921 Terrance, uh, could you come back a little later? 181 00:10:39,047 --> 00:10:41,845 - Why? - Uh, I'm just a little busy right now. 182 00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:44,276 You've got a man over, don't you Celine Dion? 183 00:10:44,407 --> 00:10:46,079 - Well, I... - Hi guys. 184 00:10:46,207 --> 00:10:48,944 - Oh my God, it's Ugly Bob! - What the hell are you doing here? 185 00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,738 I'm doing Celine Dion, what's it look like? 186 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:52,349 Oh Celine Dion, what have you done? 187 00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:55,340 I was going to make us a family again, but now you've slept with Ugly Bob. 188 00:10:55,347 --> 00:10:57,523 - What do you mean? Why are you calling him Ugly Bob? 189 00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,324 Because that's his name you stupid bitch. 190 00:10:59,387 --> 00:11:03,080 - You told me your name was Handsome Bob. - Look at him Celine Dion. 191 00:11:04,807 --> 00:11:06,470 Behold, his horrible face. 192 00:11:06,471 --> 00:11:10,471 Oh my God, he's heinously ugly, and I am pregnant with his child! 193 00:11:10,507 --> 00:11:14,222 - What?!? Noooooo!!!!!! - I'm going to have a freak-baby! 194 00:11:14,323 --> 00:11:15,423 Oh, the humanity! 195 00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:21,780 Hey Saddam, you helped me get rid of Terrance and Phillip, 196 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:22,781 and I appreciate that. 197 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:25,282 But why are framed pictures of you going up all over Canada? 198 00:11:25,387 --> 00:11:28,265 Huh, oh that? Don't worry guy, you just need a rest. 199 00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:31,360 No, I don't need a rest! I want to know what this is all aboot. 200 00:11:31,487 --> 00:11:33,616 Hey, relax fella, I'm just making it so that Terrance and Phillip 201 00:11:33,617 --> 00:11:35,517 an never come back to Canada again. 202 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:37,725 - I just need a couple of days, then I'm gonna head back to Iran. 203 00:11:37,726 --> 00:11:39,326 I thought you were from Iraq. 204 00:11:39,487 --> 00:11:41,921 Iran, Iraq, what the hell's the difference? Relax guy. 205 00:11:47,527 --> 00:11:50,720 Phillip, I'm convinced that something very, very not good is happening to Canada. 206 00:11:50,721 --> 00:11:54,121 Yes, I agree whole-fartedly. 207 00:11:54,487 --> 00:11:57,577 - Hey, what the hell are you guys doing here? - Oh, hello Scott. 208 00:11:57,607 --> 00:11:58,639 You're not supposed to be here. 209 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,640 You're supposed to be in Iran looking for your kidnapped... 210 00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:03,241 Uh, I mean, how are you guys today? 211 00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,343 - Wait, what were you saying? - Nothing, why? 212 00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:07,161 - Hey Scott, guess what? - What? 213 00:12:09,147 --> 00:12:13,523 I hate you more than ever Terrance and Phillip. I absolutely abhor you both. 214 00:12:15,087 --> 00:12:17,701 - What are you doing Scott? - I'm wishing cancer upon you. 215 00:12:17,727 --> 00:12:20,878 - Cancer? - That's right, I'm trying to give you cancer with my mind. 216 00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:25,223 - Ah, stop that. - Hey, don't give me cancer. 217 00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:31,701 Mr. Hussein, the U.S. Government is becoming worried. 218 00:12:31,802 --> 00:12:33,902 Worried, aboot what? Take a load off, relax. 219 00:12:34,327 --> 00:12:38,061 - You seem to be taking over Canada. - Taking over Canada? Me? 220 00:12:38,187 --> 00:12:41,065 Hey, you need a rest fella. I'm not hiding any bombs. 221 00:12:41,287 --> 00:12:45,385 - We didn't say anything about bombs. - Oh. You didn't? Hey, relax. 222 00:12:45,607 --> 00:12:48,497 We're giving you just three years to clear your forces out of Canada. 223 00:12:48,498 --> 00:12:50,298 After that, we're going to bomb all of Iran. 224 00:12:50,387 --> 00:12:52,981 - I'm from Iraq. - Iran, Iraq, what's the difference. 225 00:12:54,367 --> 00:12:59,025 - Uh, I hate Americans, please let me kill them! - No, no, you need to relax guy. 226 00:12:59,047 --> 00:13:01,099 Remember the plan; first we take over Canada, 227 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,400 then we'll have the best of the female pop vocalists. 228 00:13:03,487 --> 00:13:05,719 After that we'll take over the U.S., then Europe, 229 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,920 then China, then Newfoundland, then the world! 230 00:13:09,147 --> 00:13:11,302 - What's so funny? - Nothing, relax buddy. 231 00:13:11,327 --> 00:13:14,624 - Saddam, Terrance and Phillip are back in Canada. - Oh, really? 232 00:13:15,047 --> 00:13:17,545 You promised me they'd be gone for good. That was your part of the bargain. 233 00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:20,640 I changed my mind. Pray that I don't change it any further. 234 00:13:22,607 --> 00:13:24,337 This deal's getting worse all the time. 235 00:13:27,047 --> 00:13:29,363 Hey Terrance, let's watch American television. 236 00:13:29,364 --> 00:13:34,004 Yes, we can get satellite feed from the U.S. and watch all their stupid TV shows. 237 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,021 Oh look, here's a show. 238 00:13:37,865 --> 00:13:40,565 - Stupid. - God damn their TV shows are lame. 239 00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:42,937 The father of Eric Cartman is indeed... 240 00:13:44,047 --> 00:13:47,535 - Look at their silly American heads. - They look like groundhogs. 241 00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:51,298 And in other news, it appears that Saddam Hussein has finally signed 242 00:13:51,299 --> 00:13:54,199 an agreement to let the U.S. inspect his military operations. 243 00:13:54,287 --> 00:13:56,798 When asked if he would uphold his side of the agreement, 244 00:13:56,799 --> 00:14:00,799 Hussein replied quote "Hey, relax fella, you need a rest guy." 245 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:04,279 Hey Phillip, isn't that the smelly gentleman we've seen in pictures all over town? 246 00:14:04,407 --> 00:14:08,259 Yes, it is Terrance. According to that newsy he's some kind of Turkish dictator. 247 00:14:08,387 --> 00:14:12,016 Well, we can't just sit here and eat Kroff dinner and let Canada be overrun by the Turks. 248 00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:18,456 - That fart sounded like a ringing phone Terrance. - It sure did, Phillip. 249 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,076 Oh wait, that is the phone. 250 00:14:22,907 --> 00:14:24,738 - Hello. - Terrance, this is Scott. 251 00:14:24,867 --> 00:14:28,177 - Oh, hey, it's Scott. - Tell him he's a smelly bastard. 252 00:14:28,307 --> 00:14:30,457 - Phillip says 'hello' Scott. - Just shut up and listen. 253 00:14:30,687 --> 00:14:33,822 You've unleashed a monster unto Canada and only you can get rid of him, 254 00:14:33,823 --> 00:14:35,523 even though I hate you and I wish you had cancer. 255 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,897 - You are such a dick Scott. - You're a dick. 256 00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:41,781 - You're a dick. - You're a dick. 257 00:14:43,107 --> 00:14:44,665 - You're a dick. - You're a dick. 258 00:14:44,987 --> 00:14:46,899 The two of you are the most annoying dicks in Canada. 259 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,900 You give other Canadians a bad name, and if I had my way.... 260 00:14:48,987 --> 00:14:52,255 - Oh, I'm sorry Scott, can you hold on a minute? - Sure. 261 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:57,317 - How do you like that Scott? - You son of a bitch, I'll get you if it's the last thing... 262 00:14:57,447 --> 00:15:00,559 - Oh wait, I have another call Scott. Can you hang on? - Sure. 263 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:04,425 Oh, that was very smelly. He says hello. 264 00:15:04,547 --> 00:15:06,105 - God damn it. - Oh, wait a second Scott. 265 00:15:06,227 --> 00:15:08,626 Sure. I mean no. You listen to me, 266 00:15:08,627 --> 00:15:10,415 if you want to save Canada you'll meet me at 267 00:15:10,416 --> 00:15:12,416 at Karl's Kroff Dinner restaurant in half-an-hour. 268 00:15:14,927 --> 00:15:20,021 Oh Ugly Bob, I'm so confused. I love your personality, but you are so wretchedly ugly. 269 00:15:20,147 --> 00:15:22,525 - Maybe the baby will have your face instead of mine. 270 00:15:22,526 --> 00:15:26,138 We can only hope. I suppose we'll be ok as long as you keep that bag on your head. 271 00:15:27,707 --> 00:15:28,986 What's this?!? 272 00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:31,749 Hey there, my name's Saddam. I'm a big fan of polo. 273 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:33,550 I've been searching a long time for you Celine Dion. 274 00:15:33,747 --> 00:15:36,261 - Oh no, you don't, she's my bitch. - Hey, who are you? 275 00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:38,088 I'm Bob, but my friends call me Ugly Bob 276 00:15:38,089 --> 00:15:40,009 because I have the features of a deformed burn victim. 277 00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:43,017 Really, I thought all Canadians looked alike. Let me see. 278 00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:48,455 Wow, I'm sorry guy. You know, I could cure that face of yours. 279 00:15:48,587 --> 00:15:50,383 - You could? - Sure, I just need a favor. 280 00:15:50,498 --> 00:15:51,855 There's a Candian football game tomorrow; 281 00:15:51,856 --> 00:15:54,006 the Ottawa Rough-Riders against the Vancouver Roughriders. 282 00:15:54,027 --> 00:15:57,656 It's at that game that I will officialy turn the Candian flag over to my Iranian one. 283 00:15:57,987 --> 00:16:00,309 - What?!? Why?!? - Hey, don't worry about that. 284 00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:02,510 Take a load off. Don't think about it. Look over here. 285 00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:05,973 All I need is for Celine Dion to sing our Iranian national anthem at the game, 286 00:16:05,974 --> 00:16:08,624 to finalize my hostile takeover of Canada. Whaddaya say? 287 00:16:08,627 --> 00:16:12,381 - Did you say 'hostile takeover of Canada? - No, no, relax there fella. 288 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:20,300 Well, Scott said to meet him here, but he's not showing up. 289 00:16:22,507 --> 00:16:25,178 Well, while we're waiting, why don't we search for treasure? 290 00:16:25,179 --> 00:16:27,279 Oh, good idea. Let's search for treasure. 291 00:16:30,427 --> 00:16:32,461 - What are you idiot's doing? - We're looking for treasure. 292 00:16:32,587 --> 00:16:35,545 Is that some kind of metaphor for a kind of search that can't be described? 293 00:16:36,427 --> 00:16:39,624 - No, we're searching for treasure. - Listen, I have an inside scoop. 294 00:16:39,747 --> 00:16:43,217 There's an Iraqi dictator who is quietly and slowly taking over Canada. 295 00:16:43,347 --> 00:16:45,900 - Yes, you mean Saddam Smelly. We saw him on the telly. 296 00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:47,581 Well, what are you two going to do aboot it? 297 00:16:47,587 --> 00:16:49,543 - What do you mean? - It's your fault that he's here. 298 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:52,141 You brought the Iraqis back with you on your plane, 299 00:16:52,142 --> 00:16:53,980 when you rescued your kidnapped daughter. 300 00:16:53,987 --> 00:16:57,065 - You mean we are to blame? - That's right, and now you must make amends. 301 00:16:57,187 --> 00:17:00,084 Tomorrow, Saddam will try to finalize his takeover of Canada 302 00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,985 at the Rough-Riders Rough-Riders football game. 303 00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:05,775 - It will be your only shot at wiping them all out. - Here, take this. - What is this? 304 00:17:05,907 --> 00:17:07,989 It's a bomb. You must strap it to yourselves, 305 00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:11,290 go to the game and sacrifice your lives to take out Saddam's minions. 306 00:17:11,347 --> 00:17:14,419 - That sounds scary. - Well, you must do it for Canada. 307 00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:17,300 - For Canada, Terrance. - For Canada, Phillip. 308 00:17:18,547 --> 00:17:20,982 Yes, Terrance and Phillip, and when the dust is settled 309 00:17:20,983 --> 00:17:24,983 Canada will be rid of both the Iraqis and your immature fart humor. 310 00:17:29,527 --> 00:17:32,079 Well, Phillip, I'm very sad that we have to die for Canada. 311 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,827 Yes, this bomb will blow us both to smithereens. 312 00:17:34,827 --> 00:17:38,456 But we really have no choice. Only our deaths can bring Canada life. 313 00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:43,540 - That's smelly. - Wait a minute, Terrance, that fart gives me pause. 314 00:17:43,541 --> 00:17:44,541 Why is that? 315 00:17:44,867 --> 00:17:47,961 That smelly Saddam Hussein, he uses germ and chemical warfare, does he not? 316 00:17:47,987 --> 00:17:49,716 -Yes, apparently he does. 317 00:17:49,717 --> 00:17:53,117 Terrance, get the phone book, we must call every Canadian we can. 318 00:17:53,187 --> 00:17:56,862 - Oh, Phillip, it sounds like you have an idea. - I do Terrance. 319 00:18:02,947 --> 00:18:06,019 And the Rough-Riders are really giving the Roughriders a run for their money. 320 00:18:06,147 --> 00:18:08,393 All else aside, I must say that the Rough-Riders 321 00:18:08,394 --> 00:18:10,394 are simply outmatched by these Roughriders. 322 00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,164 And that's going to take us to half-time. 323 00:18:15,165 --> 00:18:17,062 Be sure to stick around for the half-time show 324 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:20,803 Saddam and the Electric Iraqis and a salute to hostile takeovers. 325 00:18:25,627 --> 00:18:29,302 - Well, I guess it's time old friend. - Yes, prepare the alert. 326 00:18:30,987 --> 00:18:33,978 Hello to my Canadian friends. Everybody relax, take a rest, 327 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:36,979 put your feet up 'cause those dogs are barking. 328 00:18:37,147 --> 00:18:39,083 You may have noticed some changes to your country. 329 00:18:39,084 --> 00:18:41,060 Don't worry about that, the changes will continue. 330 00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:43,423 I'm here to announce once and for all that Canada 331 00:18:43,424 --> 00:18:46,424 will now be known as New Baghdad. Kalookh Kalakh! 332 00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:57,139 You will bow down to me as your ruler. You will obey my laws or you will be killed. 333 00:18:57,267 --> 00:19:01,180 And now you will sing the Iraqi national anthem, or you will be stabbed in the head. 334 00:19:02,191 --> 00:19:04,843 Shtut malakh shtut, inka inka bruscht. 335 00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:07,700 - Now Phillip? - Now Terrance. 336 00:19:12,587 --> 00:19:14,782 Hey, what the hell is this? 337 00:19:14,783 --> 00:19:16,697 Frakh o shtut koolakh koolakh a shtut. 338 00:19:23,987 --> 00:19:26,455 They're using chemical warfare, how could they? 339 00:19:37,987 --> 00:19:42,458 - We did it Phillip, we destroyed the Turks. - Oh, glorious day. 340 00:19:51,347 --> 00:19:55,420 - Terrance, Terrance, you've saved Canada. - Oh, it was all Phillips idea. 341 00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:57,856 - God bless you Phillip. - Don't touch me Ugly Bob. 342 00:19:57,987 --> 00:20:00,740 Hey, what the hell happened, you were supposed to be blown up. 343 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,069 We came up with a better plan. 344 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:05,970 You see Scott, after all your criticism, it was farting that saved Canada. 345 00:20:06,107 --> 00:20:09,220 - Oh, that is so juvenile. - Hey Scott, do you like apples? 346 00:20:09,321 --> 00:20:10,621 Of course. 347 00:20:11,027 --> 00:20:12,797 How do you like them apples? 348 00:20:13,227 --> 00:20:15,787 I hate you Terrance and Phillip!!! 349 00:20:16,987 --> 00:20:19,731 - Oh Celine Dion, you never finished that national anthem. 350 00:20:19,732 --> 00:20:22,732 You're right Terrance, you're right. 351 00:20:22,827 --> 00:20:27,025 O Canada! Our home and native land! 352 00:20:27,147 --> 00:20:30,662 True patriot love 353 00:20:30,787 --> 00:20:34,700 in all thy sons command. 354 00:20:34,827 --> 00:20:38,706 With glowing hearts we see thee rise, 355 00:20:38,827 --> 00:20:42,263 The True North strong and free! 356 00:20:42,387 --> 00:20:45,982 From far and wide, O Canada, 357 00:20:46,107 --> 00:20:50,259 we stand on guard for thee. 358 00:20:50,787 --> 00:20:54,462 God keep our land 359 00:20:54,947 --> 00:20:59,020 glorious and free! 360 00:20:59,347 --> 00:21:07,345 O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. 361 00:21:07,747 --> 00:21:15,620 O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. 362 00:21:25,521 --> 00:21:27,921 Who is Cartman's Father? 363 00:21:28,122 --> 00:21:31,922 Find out on an all new South Park, in just a few weeks.