1 00:00:34,247 --> 00:00:35,693 - The answer is no, Stanley. 2 00:00:35,694 --> 00:00:38,194 But mom all the guys are going to Cartman's grandma's for the weekend. 3 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:41,876 I'm sorry Stanley. I can't let you go all the way to Nebraska by yourself. 4 00:00:42,007 --> 00:00:45,158 - It's the holidays. - But all the other guys get to go to Cartman's grandma's why can't I? 5 00:00:45,287 --> 00:00:47,323 - I'll leave it up to your father. - Well, it's fine with me. 6 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,438 The answer is no Stanley! Now go wash up for supper! 7 00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:53,321 - I don't want your lame ass supper. - Ooh you're gonna get it now. 8 00:00:53,447 --> 00:00:55,961 Go to your room Stanley right now! 9 00:00:57,087 --> 00:00:59,885 Can' tell me what to do. I'm eight years old. 10 00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:02,722 I don't need this stupid family, anyway. 11 00:01:03,127 --> 00:01:05,457 It's so nice of you to take all the boys with you. 12 00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:08,338 Oh it's all my pleasure. Eric loves his little friends. 13 00:01:08,407 --> 00:01:11,074 Every time I go to my grandma's house, she gets me a present. You watch. 14 00:01:11,075 --> 00:01:13,005 As soon as I walk in the door she'll hand me this big present 15 00:01:13,047 --> 00:01:15,038 - for no reason except that I'm keww. - That's nice Cartman. 16 00:01:15,167 --> 00:01:19,399 Now remember, if they have leftover turkey, put some in a bag and bring it home, ok? 17 00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:22,003 - Ok, let's go. - Oh, I didn't think you were coming Stan. 18 00:01:22,127 --> 00:01:23,606 Of course I'm coming. C'mon let's hurry. 19 00:01:23,727 --> 00:01:26,878 - Goodbye Booby, be careful. - See you in a couple of days son. 20 00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:30,079 Shotgun. My car, I call it first. Shotgun. 21 00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:32,159 Kenny I called shotgun. 22 00:01:33,207 --> 00:01:35,641 Dammit Kenny, get in the back! 23 00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:39,123 Hey Kenny there's a sale on orange jackets over there. 24 00:01:39,647 --> 00:01:42,036 Look Kenny there's an elephant parade. 25 00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:46,760 Kenny. Kenny look, look. Go get it. 26 00:01:47,327 --> 00:01:48,806 You poor piece of crap. 27 00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:53,921 - So how far is it to Nebraska? - About six hours. 28 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,022 Oh my god. What the hell are we gonna do for six hours? 29 00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:58,223 Well I've got an idea. We could sing. 30 00:01:58,367 --> 00:02:02,246 - Ya. Or, we could not. - Let's sing that one grandma song, ma. How does that go? 31 00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:05,518 Over the meadow and through the woods to grandmother's house we go. 32 00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:08,957 The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh through the white and chilly snow-o. 33 00:02:14,687 --> 00:02:16,643 Please stop. 34 00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:19,156 Please stop. 35 00:02:20,847 --> 00:02:24,203 - Ooh careful hon. These roads are bumpy. - I guess so. 36 00:02:24,967 --> 00:02:28,200 Here we go kids. We're crossing the state line into Nebraska. 37 00:02:35,007 --> 00:02:36,599 - This is Nebraska? - What's all that stuff? 38 00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:40,099 Wheat. The building block of your favorite foods and Nebraska's 39 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,160 principle source of economic activity. 40 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:44,920 - You see when Nebraska first became... - We don't care mom. 41 00:02:45,047 --> 00:02:45,760 Hey look! 42 00:02:46,461 --> 00:02:48,961 See Mr. Hankey at the Mall of Nebraska. 43 00:02:49,087 --> 00:02:51,807 - Wow. We have to go, dude. - Dude I thought Mr. Hankey lived in the sewer. 44 00:02:51,808 --> 00:02:52,806 What's he doing in Nebraska? 45 00:02:52,807 --> 00:02:55,082 I don't know. Ever since he was in that movie he got all famous. 46 00:02:55,207 --> 00:02:57,960 Oh so now everybody wants to meet Mr. Hankey. He's a piece of crap. 47 00:02:58,087 --> 00:03:00,203 It doesn't matter. He'll be most excited to see me. 48 00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:03,364 That shouldn't be a problem. Eric's grandma is right near the mall. 49 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,636 - Cool! - How much further is it to grandma's house? 50 00:03:05,637 --> 00:03:07,037 I want to see what kind of presents she got me. 51 00:03:07,127 --> 00:03:10,358 - About another hour hon. - Why does grandma have to live so far away? 52 00:03:10,487 --> 00:03:12,492 Why don't we just stick her in a nursing home closer to us 53 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,793 so I don't have to drive six hours to get a goddamned present! 54 00:03:14,807 --> 00:03:18,800 Now Eric let's try to get out of that grumpy mood before we get to grandma's. 55 00:03:22,487 --> 00:03:23,966 Oh god. 56 00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:29,517 - Here we are. - Jesus Christ, finally. 57 00:03:29,647 --> 00:03:31,717 Grandma, Grandma, Grandma, Grandma. 58 00:03:33,327 --> 00:03:35,443 - Oh it's little Eric. - Hi Grandpa. 59 00:03:35,567 --> 00:03:39,321 - Look at how big you've gotten. - Hi Eric. Grandma got you a present. 60 00:03:39,447 --> 00:03:41,836 - Sweet. What is it? - It's inside. 61 00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:43,480 Yes! Move it. 62 00:03:43,607 --> 00:03:46,838 - Hello everyone. Happy holidays. - Hello. 63 00:03:46,967 --> 00:03:49,285 These are Eric's friends, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. 64 00:03:49,286 --> 00:03:52,186 Boys let me introduce you to the Cartman family. 65 00:03:52,207 --> 00:03:55,005 - This is Uncle stinky... - Nice to have you heyar. 66 00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:58,836 Aunt Lisa, Cousin Fred, Cousin Alexandra, Fat Bob, Jimmy, 67 00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:04,246 - and Great Grandma Florence. - Come here Eric. Give your Great Grandma some sugar. 68 00:04:04,807 --> 00:04:08,402 - No, no Florence. That's not Eric. - Oh. Which one is he? 69 00:04:08,527 --> 00:04:11,166 - The fat one. - I'm/He's not fat I'm/He's big boned. 70 00:04:11,287 --> 00:04:14,279 - That was totally gross. She smelled like vitamins and pee. - Sick dude. 71 00:04:14,407 --> 00:04:16,557 All righty then, let's get to my presents shall we? 72 00:04:16,687 --> 00:04:19,485 Here you go Eric. Happy holidays. 73 00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:24,556 - Wait a minute. This isn't a present. This is a shirt. - Yes. I thought that would look really good on you. 74 00:04:24,687 --> 00:04:29,283 Are you telling me I drove nine hours through butt fucking nowhere to get a goddamn shirt!? 75 00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:31,796 Mom grandma's gone senile. It's time to stick her in a home! 76 00:04:33,287 --> 00:04:36,279 Well this is what the holidays are about - family. 77 00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:40,116 - Ya right. - Well what does your family do for the holidays, Stan? 78 00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,363 My family's dead. 79 00:04:42,487 --> 00:04:44,523 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Stan. 80 00:04:44,647 --> 00:04:47,764 - Dude, your family died? - There dead to me. My mom doesn't even know I'm here. 81 00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,959 I can't believe I got a stupid shirt. The holidays are bull crap. 82 00:04:51,087 --> 00:04:54,796 - Here Kyle. Will you hold great grandmother's cathoder bag during dinner? - What is it? 83 00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:58,636 - Great Grandma has a bladder problem, this helps her out. - Sick dude. 84 00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,600 Eric, did you say hi to your little cousin Elvin? 85 00:05:01,727 --> 00:05:04,195 - Hi cousin Elvin. - Sweet. 86 00:05:04,327 --> 00:05:08,559 It is certainly nice we could all gather 'round heyar for the holidays. 87 00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:13,238 Even Uncle Howard has joined us live VIA satellite from the State penitentiary. 88 00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:15,437 - Whoa dude! - You look good Howard. 89 00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:18,957 - No I don't. - Hi Howard. - Dude, is he here every year like this? 90 00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,957 Sweet. 91 00:05:23,967 --> 00:05:26,606 Come on let's eat already. They gave me extra bread and water. 92 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,844 Where's your manners Howard? We haven't even said Grace yet. 93 00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:32,767 Mom will you do the honors of saying Grace? 94 00:05:32,768 --> 00:05:35,568 God dammit why the hell do I always have to say Grace? 95 00:05:35,687 --> 00:05:40,363 If one more person asks me to say Grace I'll be like - "Hey, I'm not saying Grace", 96 00:05:40,487 --> 00:05:43,365 and if you ask me again I'll kick you squa' in the noots. 97 00:05:44,087 --> 00:05:46,078 - Amen. - Amen. 98 00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:49,846 Jesus dude. 99 00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:55,203 No Jimmy this is mah potpie. 100 00:05:55,967 --> 00:05:58,435 - No Jimmy that's a bad Jimmy! - No Jimmy! 101 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,922 No Jimmy that's grandpa's potpie! 102 00:06:01,607 --> 00:06:04,121 No Jimmy that's a bad Jimmy! 103 00:06:04,247 --> 00:06:06,602 - Dude, I don't know how long I can stay here. - I know what you mean. 104 00:06:12,847 --> 00:06:15,090 - What dude? - Dude I was having this horrible nightmare 105 00:06:15,091 --> 00:06:17,091 that we were at this house and it was filled with Cartmans. 106 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,642 Kyle we are at a house filled with Cartmans. 107 00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:24,484 - What was that? - I heard it too. - What ever it is, it's getting closer. 108 00:06:24,607 --> 00:06:28,077 - What the hell was that for? - I wanted to make sure we're not dreaming. 109 00:06:28,207 --> 00:06:30,004 - I wanted to make sure too. - Well you're not dreaming! 110 00:06:30,287 --> 00:06:33,245 - Cut the crap! - Dude, it's coming through the window. 111 00:06:36,087 --> 00:06:39,477 - Uncle Howard! - Oh hey Eric. I didn't think anybody'd be down here. 112 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,936 - Uncle Howard what are you doing here? - We thought you were in jail. 113 00:06:41,937 --> 00:06:43,237 Ya well I-I busted out. 114 00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:46,643 - Wow cool! - We can't let the rest of the family know I'm here. 115 00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:50,965 - Ok. - If it's ok, we're just gonna hang out here for a couple of days with you kids. 116 00:06:51,087 --> 00:06:53,521 Who's We? You got a turd in your pocket. 117 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:58,118 Come on up, it's ok. Another inmate busted out with me. Don't worry he's a good guy. 118 00:06:58,247 --> 00:07:01,876 Oh hi boys. I'm Charlie, Charlie Manson. 119 00:07:05,727 --> 00:07:08,313 I can't wait to get out among the pigs and wreak some hell. 120 00:07:08,314 --> 00:07:10,514 Alright Chuck, but we gotta lay low for a little while. 121 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:13,480 When I stand on the mountain and say do it, it gets done. 122 00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,783 And if it don't get done, then I'll move on. 123 00:07:15,784 --> 00:07:17,584 And that's the last thing in the world you want me to do. 124 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:22,636 - Alright Chuck just watch some TV or something. - Now back to It's a Wonderful Life. 125 00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:28,046 You can't just buy people Mr. Potter. Well you know what you are; you're a little bitch. 126 00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:31,318 That's right you're a bitch and I bet you would like to suck it, wouldn't ya? 127 00:07:31,447 --> 00:07:32,739 Wake up Cartman, we gotta get to the mall. 128 00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:35,240 We have to go see Mr. Hankey at the mall Cartman. 129 00:07:35,327 --> 00:07:39,081 - Alright keep your pants on. - Hey, bring us down some food all right? 130 00:07:40,047 --> 00:07:42,481 - C'mon team. - Can somebody drive us to the mall? 131 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:48,438 Hello? Mr. Hankey is appearing at the mall, can somebody please take us? 132 00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:52,685 - Uncle Stinky can you take us to the mall? - Not now Eric. Hold him where's the flag? 133 00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,560 Uncle Stinky my stupid friends want to see Mr. Hankey. You have to take us. 134 00:07:55,687 --> 00:07:59,202 I said no and I mean no! Respect my authoritah! 135 00:07:59,327 --> 00:08:02,637 - Damn his goddamn authoritah. - Only sixteen seconds left in the quarter... 136 00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:05,520 We interrupt this broadcast for a news bulletin. 137 00:08:05,647 --> 00:08:10,198 Mass murderer and extremely nasty person, Charles Manson has escaped from prison. 138 00:08:10,327 --> 00:08:13,956 Charles Manson was responsible for seven murders in the late sixties. 139 00:08:14,087 --> 00:08:16,999 Manson has never shown any signs of remorse for his crimes. 140 00:08:17,127 --> 00:08:21,086 If you see Manson please kick his ass and smash his fuckin' face in for me 141 00:08:21,207 --> 00:08:23,277 and then call the police. And now back to the game. 142 00:08:23,407 --> 00:08:27,559 And they've done it! They've scored sixteen un-answered points in fifteen seconds! 143 00:08:27,687 --> 00:08:32,681 - Ah Weak! - Eric I need you to take care of your cousin Elvin for a while. 144 00:08:32,807 --> 00:08:36,959 - I don't wanna take care of cousin Elvin. - Won't you do it for Grandma? 145 00:08:37,127 --> 00:08:39,516 Alright give me ten dollars. 146 00:08:41,327 --> 00:08:44,797 - Kick ass. - Chuck can you turn that damn thing down? 147 00:08:44,927 --> 00:08:47,885 Hello movie house, hello burger parlor! 148 00:08:48,007 --> 00:08:50,735 You know what the spirit of Christmas is? It's another lie. 149 00:08:50,736 --> 00:08:52,936 From the lying pigs who consider me the witness... 150 00:08:53,047 --> 00:08:55,163 Ok Chuck, thank you very much. 151 00:08:55,287 --> 00:08:58,040 - My family sucks ass. - Ya they do. - All families suck ass. 152 00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:01,637 - Here we got you some sticky cinnamon buns. - Wow sweet. 153 00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:04,800 - Dude we have to get to the mall. - You guys seriously. 154 00:09:04,927 --> 00:09:05,928 What's the matter? 155 00:09:05,929 --> 00:09:08,529 My stupid friends want to go to the mall to visit Mr. Hankey, but nobody would drive us. 156 00:09:08,607 --> 00:09:10,165 - Oh bummer. - I'll take you. 157 00:09:11,287 --> 00:09:14,165 Uh that's ok Chuck. You just keep watching Christmas specials. 158 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:18,041 Hey, I didn't bust out of prison to be locked up in somebody's basement, I want some action. 159 00:09:18,207 --> 00:09:20,880 - Good for you Charlie. - C'mon I'll hot-wire your grandpa's car. 160 00:09:21,007 --> 00:09:22,664 Do you really think we should go with this guy? 161 00:09:22,665 --> 00:09:25,665 Stan, don't be such a dumb ass, you have to trust people. 162 00:09:25,727 --> 00:09:28,958 Alright boys keep your heads down. 163 00:09:31,247 --> 00:09:33,238 We're goin' to the mall. 164 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,662 I just can't believe he would go without our permission. 165 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:40,063 Uh, Sharon don't over-react. Maybe Stan didn't go to Cartman's grandmother's house. 166 00:09:40,127 --> 00:09:44,882 - Maybe he just ran away or got kidnapped or something. - I hope for his sake you're right. 167 00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:49,845 Hello Ms. Cartman it's Sharon, Stan's mother. Did Stanley go up there to Nebraska with you? 168 00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:52,765 Why yes he did. I thought you were dead Sharon. 169 00:09:52,887 --> 00:09:56,960 - What? - Stanley told me that you had passed on. I'm glad to see that you're better. 170 00:09:57,087 --> 00:10:02,115 - Get the car Randy we're going to Nebraska. - Ooh. Stan's in trouble. 171 00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:09,042 - Do you see him? - Not yet. We still have a ways to go. 172 00:10:09,167 --> 00:10:11,237 I can't wait to see him. He's gonna be so glad we came. 173 00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:14,256 I drove all the way from Montana to see Mr. Hankey. 174 00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:16,657 That's nice kid. I knew Mr. Hankey before he was even famous. 175 00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:20,356 How the hell did Mr. Hankey get so popular? Look at all this Mr. Hankey stuff. 176 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,863 - Hissa kissa. Kick ass. - And another thing. 177 00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:25,524 It also says Mr. Hankey is also appearing at the Crossroads mall. 178 00:10:25,527 --> 00:10:29,520 - So? - So how can Mr. Hankey be here and at another mall at the same time? 179 00:10:29,647 --> 00:10:32,445 Dude, Mr. Hankey has magical powers. He can do whatever he wants. 180 00:10:35,647 --> 00:10:39,196 How would you like to come with me to a more secluded part of the mall? 181 00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:43,562 - I really like that guy. - Well it looks like you finished your fudgical, Elvin. 182 00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:49,682 Be quiet Elvin. 183 00:10:49,807 --> 00:10:52,082 No Elvin Bad Elvin. 184 00:10:55,527 --> 00:10:57,358 No Elvin Bad Elvin. 185 00:11:02,807 --> 00:11:08,762 Folks need to understand that I'm terror, I'm fear, I am- Oh look another Christmas special. 186 00:11:09,087 --> 00:11:11,521 Now back to the Grinchy poo. 187 00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:15,322 The Grinchy poo went up the chimney and stuffed the tree up. 188 00:11:15,447 --> 00:11:18,280 But then he heard a coo like the cry of a dove. 189 00:11:18,407 --> 00:11:21,763 It was little Cindy Lou Poo who was no more than two. 190 00:11:21,887 --> 00:11:25,641 Mr. Hankey why? Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why? 191 00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:30,045 That old Grinchy poo thought up a lie and he thought it up quick. 192 00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:33,398 Alright boys you're up next. Welcome to Mr. Hankey's happy Lolly land. 193 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,926 Oh boy here we go. 194 00:11:35,047 --> 00:11:36,844 Howdy ho boys. 195 00:11:37,767 --> 00:11:39,246 Mr. Hankey? 196 00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:42,882 - Gosh you boys smell like flowers. - You're not the real Mr. Hankey. 197 00:11:43,007 --> 00:11:44,918 Sure I am. Howdy Ho. 198 00:11:45,047 --> 00:11:46,955 You look a lot bigger than the last time we saw you. 199 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,056 Well Mr. Hankey has to grow too you know. 200 00:11:49,127 --> 00:11:52,244 - Howdy Ho. - Do you boys want your picture with Mr. Hankey? 201 00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:54,927 This is not Mr. Hankey. This is a fake. 202 00:11:56,527 --> 00:12:00,076 It's ok kids. I'm real. Howdy ho! 203 00:12:00,207 --> 00:12:03,147 - Howdy ho! - Why are you people doing this? 204 00:12:03,148 --> 00:12:04,748 Why would you lie like this to children? 205 00:12:04,887 --> 00:12:08,960 Look kid. There's Mr. Hankies like me in every shopping mall. There's no real Mr. Hankey. 206 00:12:09,087 --> 00:12:11,681 - What?! What did you say?! - Oh boy, he's done it now. 207 00:12:12,207 --> 00:12:14,402 Behold. This is your false promise. 208 00:12:18,847 --> 00:12:21,405 - Get him! 209 00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:26,040 - You lied to me mother. You said it was the real Mr. Hankey. - Well yes but... 210 00:12:26,167 --> 00:12:28,806 I will never forget this mother. I won't forget this ever. 211 00:12:28,927 --> 00:12:30,679 This is revolution! 212 00:12:32,807 --> 00:12:34,320 Oh oh they're rioting again. 213 00:12:36,647 --> 00:12:40,435 And all the Poos down in Pooville joined hands and they sang, 214 00:12:40,567 --> 00:12:46,563 they sang all the same. And he himself, the Grinchy poo, carved the roast poo. 215 00:12:46,687 --> 00:12:51,124 Wow man that's beautiful. He was evil but now he's good. 216 00:12:53,407 --> 00:12:56,604 - What happened? - Some kid must have said it wasn't the real Mr. Hankey again. 217 00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:02,644 Use the tear gas. 218 00:13:06,007 --> 00:13:09,716 I told you guys. The holiday season is nothing but lies and bull crap. - So how was it? 219 00:13:09,847 --> 00:13:11,442 - It was a fake! - Oh I'm sorry. 220 00:13:11,443 --> 00:13:13,443 Cartman was right. The holiday season is for idiots. 221 00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:14,806 Where did you go Uncle Charlie? 222 00:13:14,807 --> 00:13:17,807 I went to a beauty parlor and had my tattoo redone. Look. 223 00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,361 - Oh that's pretty cool. - Hey where's Kenny? 224 00:13:20,487 --> 00:13:22,205 Oh. He's…around. 225 00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:24,205 - Hey guys. Let's go. - O, Hi Kenny. 226 00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:27,606 Come on I'll buy you kids an Orange smoothie. 227 00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:28,878 - Ahoj, Kenny. - Come on I'll buy you kids an Orange smoothie. 228 00:13:28,878 --> 00:13:29,282 Hey there he is. There's Charlie Manson. 229 00:13:30,207 --> 00:13:32,243 Run for your lives boys. 230 00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:36,281 Wait…You guys… Seriously. 231 00:13:46,487 --> 00:13:48,523 Keep your heads down kids. 232 00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:50,758 What the hell is wrong with you people? 233 00:13:50,887 --> 00:13:53,483 I can't believe they would put a fake Mr. Hankey in the mall. 234 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,484 If Mr. Hankey ever found out he would be so pissed. 235 00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:58,167 We interrupt this program for a breaking news story. 236 00:13:58,287 --> 00:14:01,501 A high-speed car chase is happening right now on Interstate three. 237 00:14:01,502 --> 00:14:03,802 We go now to our live sky five helicopter. 238 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:06,925 It looks as though the chase is proceeding west down the interstate. 239 00:14:07,087 --> 00:14:09,123 Oh that looks a lot like your car, Harold. 240 00:14:09,247 --> 00:14:11,903 We understand that Charles Manson is inside the car 241 00:14:11,904 --> 00:14:14,504 ith several hostages all of whom are children. 242 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,678 My god what is this world coming to? 243 00:14:16,807 --> 00:14:19,789 We'd like to take a moment to tell you this car chase is being brought to you 244 00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:22,790 by Snacky Smores. Creamy fun of smores in a delightful cookie crunch. 245 00:14:24,807 --> 00:14:26,099 They're gaining on us. 246 00:14:28,487 --> 00:14:30,364 Fudgesicle! 247 00:14:32,527 --> 00:14:35,837 - Kick ass. - God, I hate the holiday season. 248 00:14:42,207 --> 00:14:46,405 - Oh hello kids. Having fun? - Get in the house! - Alrighty then. 249 00:14:47,247 --> 00:14:50,045 - Lock the door! - Oh my god, it's Charlie Manson! 250 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:52,635 - What's going on? - There's a bunch of policemen chasing after us. 251 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,359 Quiet down, we're watching television. 252 00:14:54,487 --> 00:14:58,878 - Oh Philip what a festive season. - That's right Terrance this is a season for sharing. 253 00:15:00,087 --> 00:15:03,780 - The cops are here! - Howard! - How did you get out son? 254 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:08,041 Alright Manson we know you're in there. Come out peacefully and we'll shoot you. 255 00:15:08,167 --> 00:15:10,203 - Tell him we won't shoot him. - Oh ya. 256 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:13,444 Come out peacefully and we won't shoot you. 257 00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:18,118 - Oh look Police Chief Stevens has a new haircut. - Get down ma! 258 00:15:18,247 --> 00:15:20,146 Hey man. Don't point a gun at your own mother. 259 00:15:20,147 --> 00:15:22,647 What's wrong with you Manson? You're acting all funny. 260 00:15:22,647 --> 00:15:26,003 Everybody just sit down and shut up. We're not goin' back to the big house. 261 00:15:26,127 --> 00:15:29,324 Well Howard you've done it again. You've ruined Christmas. 262 00:15:29,447 --> 00:15:32,018 This is Robert Rouner reporting live from Nebraska 263 00:15:32,019 --> 00:15:34,719 where escaped convict Charlie Manson has walled himself up in a house. 264 00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:37,964 We understand that there are hostages and that the situation is critical. 265 00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,977 So we would like to remind you all that this live hostage crisis 266 00:15:40,978 --> 00:15:42,778 is being brought to you by Palmoral Sun Block. 267 00:15:42,867 --> 00:15:45,321 Remember, if it isn't Palmoral you're gonna get cancer. 268 00:15:46,007 --> 00:15:48,567 - What's going on here? - We've got a critical situation ma'am. 269 00:15:48,687 --> 00:15:51,095 Charlie Manson is holding everybody inside hostage. 270 00:15:51,096 --> 00:15:52,896 - Is this the Cartman residents? - Yes ma'am. 271 00:15:52,927 --> 00:15:55,885 Give me that! STANLEY THIS IS YOUR MOTHER! 272 00:15:57,407 --> 00:16:00,336 - What's your mom doing here dude? -YOUNG MAN I HAVE HAD IT. 273 00:16:00,337 --> 00:16:02,337 YOU HAVE DISOBEYED ME FOR THE LAST TIME. 274 00:16:02,487 --> 00:16:05,399 - Wow, she's really pissed. - I'm glad I'm not you right now kid. 275 00:16:05,527 --> 00:16:07,757 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF STANLEY? 276 00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:10,446 Sorry. 277 00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:13,056 Still more developments in the Manson hostage crisis. 278 00:16:13,087 --> 00:16:17,080 It appears now that eight-year-old Stan Marsh is in big, big trouble. 279 00:16:17,207 --> 00:16:20,358 He apparently disobeyed his parents and left home without telling them. 280 00:16:20,487 --> 00:16:23,445 And, uh, Tom, His mother is very disappointed with him. 281 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:27,276 - Dammit. What are we gonna do? - I'm watching television. 282 00:16:42,327 --> 00:16:46,525 - Come out with your hands up. - Dammit dad why didn't you put a back door on this house? 283 00:16:46,647 --> 00:16:51,118 Well there's that old window in the back room. You could probably squeeze through thyar. 284 00:16:51,247 --> 00:16:54,080 That's it! We're going out through the bathroom window. Come on Manson. 285 00:16:54,207 --> 00:16:56,482 - But I gotta see what happens. - Come on, dammit! 286 00:16:56,607 --> 00:16:58,287 Well it was good seeing you all. 287 00:16:58,288 --> 00:17:00,888 Don't move until we're gone or I'll shoot you dead. Happy Holidays. 288 00:17:00,927 --> 00:17:02,838 Happy Holidays! 289 00:17:05,407 --> 00:17:10,117 - Dude, they're gonna kill me. - Alright Manson this is it. We're coming in after you. 290 00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:14,126 There's gonna be a lot of bloodshed and a lot of innocent people are gonna die. 291 00:17:14,247 --> 00:17:17,045 You've got till one hundred marshmallow to come out. 292 00:17:17,727 --> 00:17:20,799 One marshmallow, two marshmallow... 293 00:17:20,927 --> 00:17:22,679 three... 294 00:17:22,807 --> 00:17:25,560 - Alright it's open. Let's go. - Excuse me. I wanna go with you. 295 00:17:26,007 --> 00:17:29,602 - Please I don't wanna go back with them. - Stan, your mother and father are out there. 296 00:17:29,727 --> 00:17:31,111 I know they've come to punish me. 297 00:17:31,112 --> 00:17:33,312 I'll they want to do is make me pay for coming to Nebraska in the first place. 298 00:17:33,407 --> 00:17:38,197 - Alright kid you can come. Now let's go. - Stan I want to talk to you about your family. 299 00:17:38,327 --> 00:17:41,125 - What? - You see I had a family once. 300 00:17:41,247 --> 00:17:46,480 At least I called them my family. Really they were a gang of people I thought were my friends. 301 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:50,998 After we killed a bunch of people together I realized my real family 302 00:17:51,127 --> 00:17:54,119 was who took care of me, who took the time to care about what I did. 303 00:17:54,287 --> 00:17:56,309 But they don't care about me. They just want to punish me. 304 00:17:56,310 --> 00:18:00,810 If they don't care about you would they have driven nine hours to Nebraska? 305 00:18:00,927 --> 00:18:03,521 I guess you're right Uncle Charlie. Thanx 306 00:18:04,527 --> 00:18:07,439 - Now can we go? - No, Howard you go ahead. 307 00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:09,717 - I've got something to say. - Ah weak. 308 00:18:09,847 --> 00:18:13,654 Folks I apologize for this whole mess. I'm goin' to surrender. 309 00:18:13,655 --> 00:18:15,155 Somebody show the police a white flag. 310 00:18:15,207 --> 00:18:19,041 Ninety Marshmallow, ninety-one marshmallow. 311 00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:22,603 Do we really have to do marshmallow? Ninety-two marshmallow. 312 00:18:25,527 --> 00:18:28,121 Look out he has a white flag! 313 00:18:30,087 --> 00:18:32,566 Oh my god they killed the little orange coat kid! 314 00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,067 You bastard! 315 00:18:37,487 --> 00:18:41,002 - They're surrendering! - You under arrest. 316 00:18:42,487 --> 00:18:44,079 Alright you. You spread 'em. 317 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:47,722 - You're going back to prison to rot Manson. - Good. I deserve it. 318 00:18:47,847 --> 00:18:50,839 - What? - I can never make it up to the families that I destroyed. 319 00:18:50,967 --> 00:18:54,642 But at least I'll make an example for anyone else who thinks that crime is an answer. 320 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,758 - Stop that. - You see I get it now, 321 00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:59,355 I finally understand what the holidays are all about. 322 00:18:59,487 --> 00:19:02,960 Boys, don't you see, you can't let things get you down during the holidays 323 00:19:02,961 --> 00:19:05,661 because being happy are what the holidays are all about. 324 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:09,117 Charlie's right. I'm not gonna let some fake Mr. Hanker ruin my holidays. 325 00:19:09,247 --> 00:19:14,941 I've been such a bastard all these years and I finally understand it-it feels great. 326 00:19:14,967 --> 00:19:18,281 I-I feel like-I feel like I'm in my own Christmas special. 327 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:23,925 Holidays are that special time when we laugh and sing and feel warm and cozy. 328 00:19:24,047 --> 00:19:28,598 Forget about being angry for a day. 329 00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:35,942 Remember how it felt to be a child, opening presents on Christmas mornin', 330 00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:40,604 that's the way we should all feel now. 331 00:19:40,727 --> 00:19:46,040 So I say - Happy, happy, happy, happy, holly, happy, happy, holidays! 332 00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:52,161 Happy, happy, happy, happy, holly, happy, happy, holidays! 333 00:19:52,287 --> 00:19:55,165 Happy Kwanza too. 334 00:19:55,287 --> 00:19:58,996 From me to you. 335 00:19:59,727 --> 00:20:02,685 - Happy holidays you guys. - Happy holidays Bob. 336 00:20:02,807 --> 00:20:05,526 - Happy Holidays Chief. - C'mon Manson. You belong in jail. 337 00:20:05,647 --> 00:20:10,163 - Darn right I do. - Well I guess I'll be going mom and dad, but I hope you can forgive me. 338 00:20:10,287 --> 00:20:14,917 Oh of course we forgive you son. It was nice of you to drop in for the holidays. 339 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:20,280 - Yes now watch that ass in prison son. - I always do. See ya, thanks for all your help. 340 00:20:20,407 --> 00:20:23,205 See ya Uncle Howard. Thanks for being such a great role model for me. 341 00:20:23,327 --> 00:20:25,966 - Piece of crap! - I hope you can forgive me too mom. 342 00:20:26,127 --> 00:20:30,157 Oh Stanley, let's just forget the whole thing and have a nice holiday back home. 343 00:20:30,158 --> 00:20:30,858 Really? 344 00:20:30,887 --> 00:20:34,721 - Sure. We'll punish you after the holidays. - Hooray! I mean hey, what? 345 00:20:34,847 --> 00:20:39,363 And so Manson is hauled off to jail to rot in his cell and everything is back to normal. 346 00:20:39,487 --> 00:20:43,400 And I guess the only thing left to say is - God bless us everyone. 347 00:20:46,247 --> 00:20:50,320 And I guess that's what I've learned. I'm sorry for what I've did, but that doesn't make up for it. 348 00:20:50,447 --> 00:20:55,123 I deserve to be in jail. I'll I hope is that I don't make mankind lose faith in itself. 349 00:20:55,247 --> 00:20:59,445 Yes there's murders in the world, and rapists, and thieves. But those are the vast minority. 350 00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:04,038 The majority of mankind is made up of caring people who try everyday to do what they think is right, 351 00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:07,284 and that's the spirit of the season. 352 00:21:07,407 --> 00:21:10,638 - What do you think guys? - It sucks just like all your other books. 353 00:21:13,887 --> 00:21:17,038 - Well, goodnight you guys happy holidays. - Shut up! 354 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:20,966 What was that? 355 00:21:21,687 --> 00:21:24,804 - What the… - Merry Christmas Charlie Manson! 356 00:21:24,927 --> 00:21:29,284 Hark the herald angels sing, 357 00:21:29,407 --> 00:21:33,764 "Glory to the newborn king 358 00:21:33,887 --> 00:21:38,165 Peace on earth and mercy mild, 359 00:21:38,287 --> 00:21:42,360 God and sinner reconciled 360 00:21:42,487 --> 00:21:46,844 Joyful all ye nations rise, 361 00:21:46,967 --> 00:21:51,279 join the triumph of the skies 362 00:21:51,407 --> 00:21:55,639 Hark the herald angels sing." 363 00:21:55,767 --> 00:21:57,837 This is pretty fucked up right here.