1 00:00:37,487 --> 00:00:40,843 - It's a good thing we got her to the hospital in time. - What's wrong with her? 2 00:00:40,967 --> 00:00:43,925 It's chickenpox. There seems to be a small epidemic going around. 3 00:00:44,047 --> 00:00:46,705 Your daughter never had the chickenpox as a little girl I take it? 4 00:00:46,706 --> 00:00:48,706 No, no, she's been perfectly healthy. 5 00:00:48,807 --> 00:00:52,253 Well that's the problem. See chickenpox is pretty normal thing with young children. 6 00:00:52,254 --> 00:00:56,054 As you get older it becomes a more and more ferocious disease. 7 00:00:56,127 --> 00:01:01,963 - Shelley, looks who's come to visit you? Your little brother Stan. - Oh whoopee! 8 00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:06,160 You know, most people don't realize chickenpox is actually a form of herpes. 9 00:01:06,287 --> 00:01:09,165 - Dude, you got herpes on your face! - Shut up, brat! 10 00:01:09,287 --> 00:01:11,482 - Will my daughter be ok? - She'll be fine. 11 00:01:11,927 --> 00:01:15,203 - Stop it! - We just want to be cautious and monitor her here. 12 00:01:17,287 --> 00:01:20,199 Come on Stanley, give your sister a kiss, and then we have to go. 13 00:01:22,087 --> 00:01:24,785 And then the doctor said that it's much worse as you get older. 14 00:01:24,786 --> 00:01:26,586 My daughter is in pretty bad shape now, 15 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,638 but if she were in her 20s, she could die! 16 00:01:29,639 --> 00:01:32,939 My god, I never knew the chickenpox was such a dangerous illness! 17 00:01:33,007 --> 00:01:35,202 I guess it's much better to get it when you're young. 18 00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:38,544 So tell me if I'm crazy but I started thinking that we should intentionally 19 00:01:38,545 --> 00:01:41,245 have our boys play with a child who has the chickenpox. 20 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,039 Let them get it now while they're young. 21 00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:46,284 That's not crazy at all Sharon. Mothers do it all the time. 22 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:50,754 Ooh yes, when I was a child my mother had me go over to a little girl's house 23 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:55,556 who had the chickenpox, just so I would get it. - So it's not such a crazy idea after all. 24 00:01:55,687 --> 00:02:00,124 No no no! And I'm pretty sure that strange little boy Kenny has the chickenpox right now. 25 00:02:00,247 --> 00:02:01,599 -Are you guys having a meeting or something? 26 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,500 How would you boys like to have a slumber party at your little friend Kenny's House tonight? 27 00:02:05,687 --> 00:02:08,126 No way dude, Kenny's family is poor. They live in the ghetto! 28 00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:09,827 Yeah, let's just have a slumber party here. 29 00:02:09,927 --> 00:02:14,239 - Boys, you're going to sleep over at Kenny's and that's final. - Oh weak! 30 00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:17,563 I wonder why our moms wanted us to sleep over at Kenny's so bad. 31 00:02:17,564 --> 00:02:19,004 Yeah, it's pretty weird. 32 00:02:19,007 --> 00:02:21,760 All I can say is they better have Nintendo. 33 00:02:22,647 --> 00:02:25,764 - Well here's Kenny's house. - In the ghetto... 34 00:02:25,887 --> 00:02:31,860 on the cold and grey Chicago morning, my little favorite child is born in the ghetto... 35 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,305 We're here to have a slumber party with Kenny. 36 00:02:36,306 --> 00:02:38,306 What? Don't you know Kenny's sick with... 37 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:43,600 That's the whole point, remember? Their moms want them to catch it while they're young. 38 00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:47,242 - Catch what? - Nothing... come on in. I was just making dinner. 39 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:48,880 ...and his mama cries... 40 00:02:49,007 --> 00:02:55,003 cause if it's... another bit of hunger for my two feet in the ghetto... in the ghetto... 41 00:02:55,127 --> 00:02:56,401 - Cartman! - What? 42 00:02:56,527 --> 00:02:59,133 Kenny! Your little friends are here! Come play with them! 43 00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:00,806 But mom, I'm fucking sick! 44 00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:04,516 - I know you're sick, now get your buns out here! - Heh heh heh... buns. 45 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,017 Hey you guys, what's going on? 46 00:03:06,087 --> 00:03:08,636 Whoa dude! You got herpes on your face, too! 47 00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:12,555 - Where is the Ninendo? - We don't have a Nintendo. 48 00:03:12,687 --> 00:03:15,997 We got a calico-vision plugged into the black and white TV. 49 00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:17,879 Oh my god. This is like a third world country. 50 00:03:18,007 --> 00:03:21,072 Throw your sleeping bags in Kenny's room and then go grab some dinner. 51 00:03:21,073 --> 00:03:23,073 Oh good, I'm starving. 52 00:03:26,727 --> 00:03:29,321 Let's say grace. 53 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:33,790 Lord... we thank you for this staggering payload of frozen waffles 54 00:03:33,791 --> 00:03:37,443 that you have bestowed upon us. And since we have been faithful to you, 55 00:03:37,444 --> 00:03:41,216 we know that you will send us some good fortune one of these days, 56 00:03:41,217 --> 00:03:44,914 even though you sure as hell seem to be taking your sweet time. Amen. 57 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,241 Ok, let's dig in. 58 00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:50,846 That one's mine! That one's mine! 59 00:03:50,967 --> 00:03:55,677 What kind of side dishes will we be enjoying this evening with our frozen waffles? 60 00:03:57,047 --> 00:04:00,084 Am I to understand there will be no side dishes? 61 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:04,678 So Kyle, your dad still bringing home those big fat lawyer paychecks? 62 00:04:04,807 --> 00:04:07,116 - I don't know. - Stewart, don't even get started. 63 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,885 What, I'm just asking a question. 64 00:04:09,007 --> 00:04:11,654 You know your dad and I used to be best friends when we were teenagers. 65 00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:13,555 We even worked together at Pizza Shack. 66 00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:18,038 But he got promoted, went off to community college, and I didn't. And you know why? 67 00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:21,000 - Cause your dad's Jewish! - Heh. I heard that. 68 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:24,773 That ain't why Stewart! It's because you're an alcoholic retard, 69 00:04:24,774 --> 00:04:28,474 and he had dreams of not eating frozen waffles for dinner every night!! 70 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,440 Hey, is it my fault you don't know how to cook? 71 00:04:30,441 --> 00:04:33,141 What am I supposed to do with frozen waffles clamhead? 72 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:34,762 You put em in the toaster, you cook em! 73 00:04:34,763 --> 00:04:37,763 You just don't know how to use spices and stuff. 74 00:04:37,847 --> 00:04:39,579 My waffle's done, my waffle's done! 75 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:43,480 Now Kevin, we ain't go enough for everybody. You have to split that with your brother. 76 00:04:43,487 --> 00:04:45,610 Oh geezes, are you fucking killing me? 77 00:04:45,611 --> 00:04:48,511 Hey! We don't say fuck at the table you little asshole! 78 00:04:48,647 --> 00:04:51,241 Yeah, we apparently don't say sidedishes either. 79 00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:54,325 Kenny honey, if you're gonna sneeze, sneeze on them. 80 00:04:58,447 --> 00:05:02,281 Man your family sucks ass Kenny. Whoever heard of frozen waffles for dinner? 81 00:05:02,407 --> 00:05:06,161 Come on, let's just get in our sleeping bags and get this night overwith. 82 00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:14,122 - Cartman, what the hell is that? - It's my Urkel sleeping bag. Isn't it kewl? 83 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,363 - No, it's not cool! - Dude, I think I just saw a rat. 84 00:05:16,487 --> 00:05:19,047 Ah! You have rats in your house too, Kenny? 85 00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:22,858 Dude seriously, you better stop being so poor or else I'm gonna start hocking rocks at ya. 86 00:05:22,859 --> 00:05:24,547 I don't think it's very healthy to sleep with rats. 87 00:05:24,548 --> 00:05:27,148 I don't think we have rats since we put the fucking celing in. 88 00:05:35,287 --> 00:05:37,243 Ok let me see. 89 00:05:37,367 --> 00:05:40,404 - Oh goody you've got a fever! - Goody? What do you mean goody? 90 00:05:40,527 --> 00:05:43,678 - Yep, it looks like you've got chickenpox alright. - Chickenpox? 91 00:05:43,807 --> 00:05:47,436 - Oh no I must've caught it from Kenny last night. - Oh gee, I guess you did. 92 00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:51,116 - Well, you sure seem happy about it. - Alright, it's off to bed with you young man. 93 00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:59,997 - Don't scratch it, hon. - But mom seriously it itches, I can't stand it!! 94 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,846 - No, hon. - Mom, seriously!!! 95 00:06:02,967 --> 00:06:06,357 - I got you some calamine lotion. - I don't wanna. 96 00:06:06,487 --> 00:06:09,399 It'll make your itches go away. 97 00:06:11,087 --> 00:06:13,362 Ay give me that! 98 00:06:15,247 --> 00:06:18,921 Not too much hon. It says on the bottle that too much can be bad. 99 00:06:18,922 --> 00:06:20,522 More calamine lotion! 100 00:06:23,327 --> 00:06:25,795 I don't understand it, he's perfectly healthy. 101 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:29,237 - Yeah, I feel great. -Are you sure you stayed over at Kenny's house? 102 00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:31,532 Yeah dude. I told you we had bread sandwiches for breakfast. 103 00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:34,021 - Did you sleep in the same room? - Yes, why? 104 00:06:34,087 --> 00:06:37,603 Bobie, how would you like to spend the night at your friend Kenny's house again? 105 00:06:37,727 --> 00:06:40,333 No way dude, it sucked ass. They didn't even have cable. 106 00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,134 Well I think you need to spend more time with your friends. 107 00:06:43,207 --> 00:06:45,342 Kenny's not really my friend ma. I don't give a rat's ass about him. 108 00:06:45,343 --> 00:06:48,543 I'm gonna give Mrs. McCormick a call. 109 00:06:48,847 --> 00:06:51,777 Hey dad, is it true that you and Kenny's dad used to be best friends when you were young? 110 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:54,085 Who Stewart? Yeah yeah, I guess we were. 111 00:06:54,087 --> 00:06:57,026 Well how come Kenny's family eats frozen waffles for dinner and has rats on the floor, 112 00:06:57,027 --> 00:06:58,727 while we have a big house and lots of food? 113 00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:01,700 Well because Kenny's family doesn't have as much money as we do. 114 00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:05,052 But why? If they're hungry and poor, why don't we just give them half of our food? 115 00:07:06,647 --> 00:07:09,844 Boy have you got a lot to learn. Sit down son. 116 00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:12,663 You see Kyle, we humans work as a society. 117 00:07:12,664 --> 00:07:16,764 In order for a society to thrive we need gods and clods. 118 00:07:16,847 --> 00:07:20,635 - Gods and clods? - Yes, you see I spen a lot of time going to law school 119 00:07:20,767 --> 00:07:23,839 and I was able to go because I have a slightly higher intelect than others. 120 00:07:23,967 --> 00:07:26,845 But I still need people to pump my gas, and make my french fries, 121 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,146 and fix my laundry machine when it breaks down. 122 00:07:29,247 --> 00:07:31,920 - Ooh I see. Gods and clods. - That's right, 123 00:07:32,047 --> 00:07:37,201 so Kenny's family is happy just the way they are. And we're all a functioning part of America. 124 00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:41,235 Stanley, can I get you anything else? 125 00:07:43,447 --> 00:07:44,926 Stanley? Oh my god. 126 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:48,198 Randy! Randy, hurry he's burning up! 127 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:55,920 - Don't you worry Stanley, you're going to be ok. - Can I talk to you outside? 128 00:07:55,927 --> 00:07:58,999 - Kids, daddy and I are gonna be right back, ok? - Ok. 129 00:07:59,127 --> 00:08:03,837 - Serves you right, you little brat. - At least I'm not gonna die from it like you might! 130 00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:08,597 - If I die from this I'm taking you with me! - Will Carol find out she's a... 131 00:08:08,727 --> 00:08:12,322 - I don't wanna watch this. I wanna watch Terrance and Phillip. - We're watching this. 132 00:08:12,447 --> 00:08:14,124 Well I've got the remote bitch! 133 00:08:14,447 --> 00:08:19,567 - Say Terrance would you check my ass for abnormalities? - Sure thing Phillip. 134 00:08:19,927 --> 00:08:21,406 You got me again! 135 00:08:21,527 --> 00:08:23,541 That's tom foolery. 136 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,556 - Give me the remote. - No way dude. 137 00:08:26,687 --> 00:08:29,440 We're gonna watch Terrance and Philllip all day. 138 00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:31,522 Get me outta here! 139 00:08:32,047 --> 00:08:34,880 He'll be ok. But it's a good idea for us to monitor him for a while. 140 00:08:35,007 --> 00:08:38,317 - Oh god, what have we done? - There there now, it's not your fault. 141 00:08:38,447 --> 00:08:41,891 Doctor, we purposely sent our son to stay with a friend 142 00:08:41,892 --> 00:08:44,392 who had chickenpox so that he would get it early. 143 00:08:44,407 --> 00:08:47,205 Ooh wow you did? 144 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,277 Wow, you guys suck. 145 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:55,042 - Can we go home now, mom? - No bubla, you play with Kenny some more. 146 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:58,241 But we've been playing for 8 hours! We can't think of anything else to do. 147 00:08:58,242 --> 00:09:01,142 I've got a great game for you! It's called Ookie-Mouth. 148 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:04,085 - What's ooki-mouth? - First you let Kenny spit in your mouth. 149 00:09:04,207 --> 00:09:08,041 Then you try to swallow his spit and try to say ooki-mouth at the same time. 150 00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:11,716 - Sick, dude! - No no bobie, it's loads of fun. Try it! 151 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:16,645 - That outta take care of it. - You want some more hot water? 152 00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:18,658 Oh no thank you, it's terrific though! 153 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:22,359 You don't have any tea bags or coffee grounds to go in the tea bags do you? 154 00:09:22,487 --> 00:09:25,684 Ah, we don't care for that hoidy, toydi, rich folks stuff. 155 00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:29,880 I see, well you certainly have humble home Mrs. McCormick. 156 00:09:30,007 --> 00:09:33,602 Yeah well unfortunately my husband is a washed up hunk of shit! 157 00:09:33,727 --> 00:09:36,844 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 158 00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:40,198 - Gross! I can't do it ma! - Try again bobie! 159 00:09:41,527 --> 00:09:44,803 You know your husband and mine used to work together as teenagers. 160 00:09:44,927 --> 00:09:47,487 Oh they was best friends. You couldn't separate em. 161 00:09:47,607 --> 00:09:51,122 Really? I met Gerald in college, so I didn't know. 162 00:09:51,247 --> 00:09:53,715 - What happened to them? - Oh they just grew apart I guess. 163 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:56,866 I think Stewart's a little jealous that your husband got out of making pizzas 164 00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:58,667 and went on to make something of hisself. 165 00:09:58,727 --> 00:10:01,985 Well that's too bad. I'm sure your husband is a fine man. 166 00:10:01,986 --> 00:10:04,286 Oh hell no. He's a nothin of deer turd. 167 00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:08,365 You say they were such good friends, it's silly they don't even talk anymore. 168 00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:09,566 Let's get them together. 169 00:10:09,647 --> 00:10:13,242 - I don't know. - We'll just arrange a little fishing trip for them or something. 170 00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:17,121 I can't say ookie mouth and have Kenny spit down my throat at the same time. It's impossible. 171 00:10:17,247 --> 00:10:18,726 Practice makes perfect, bobie. 172 00:10:20,727 --> 00:10:23,366 Where's that calamine lotion? 173 00:10:23,487 --> 00:10:26,923 - Phillip, I got good news and bad news. - Give it to me straight Terrance. 174 00:10:27,047 --> 00:10:30,198 - The good news is you have a clean pail of health. - Oh what a relief! 175 00:10:30,327 --> 00:10:32,887 The bad news is you have cancer. 176 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,726 - Cancer! - Yes, I'm afraid your ass is collapsing. 177 00:10:35,847 --> 00:10:39,396 - My ass is collapsing! - See this X-Ray? That's your ass. 178 00:10:39,527 --> 00:10:43,520 See that line? That's your ass collapsing. Your ass is collapsing! 179 00:10:43,647 --> 00:10:45,777 Does this mean I won't be able to fart anymore? 180 00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:48,255 No, it means you won't be able to live anymore. 181 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,719 Oh no! 182 00:10:54,327 --> 00:10:58,842 No kitty that's a... wait a minute. Come here Kitty. 183 00:11:00,647 --> 00:11:05,846 - I'm back hon, I got some more calamine lotion. - It's about friggin time! Give me that! 184 00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:09,676 Just use a little bit of that stuff hon. It has to last a while. 185 00:11:24,327 --> 00:11:27,876 Ooh yess...you guys seriosly now...ahhh... 186 00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:34,318 - I didn't know you liked to fish, Gerry. - Oh yeah I love it. 187 00:11:34,447 --> 00:11:39,567 I haven't done it for a while though. I had to run out a buy a few things. A rod and a reel and a... 188 00:11:41,087 --> 00:11:42,998 - Tackle box? - Yeah! Tackle box. 189 00:11:43,927 --> 00:11:48,637 Man, smell that mountain air. What a great Saturday morning. Aren't weekends just the best? 190 00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:52,999 - When you're uh unemployed, weekends are meaningless. - Right, right right. 191 00:11:54,887 --> 00:12:00,757 And so children, that's how you tell a prostitute from a policeman. Now are there any questions? 192 00:12:01,727 --> 00:12:04,764 - Yes Kyle. - What the hell does that have to do with American history? 193 00:12:04,887 --> 00:12:07,685 That's a good question Kyle. Are there any other questions? 194 00:12:07,807 --> 00:12:11,197 Mr. Garrison, I'm the only one here. Everyone else has chicken herpes. 195 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,598 Right, right. 196 00:12:12,727 --> 00:12:17,926 Well class, I'm gonna assign you all a paper. The theme of the paper will be, 197 00:12:18,047 --> 00:12:22,279 - "How I would make America better?". - What? Does everybody have to do it or just me? 198 00:12:22,407 --> 00:12:25,828 Don't worry Kyle, I'm sending home word to all the children who are out sick. 199 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,329 They'll have to turn in a paper too. 200 00:12:27,407 --> 00:12:29,302 Homework? But I'm in the hospital! 201 00:12:29,303 --> 00:12:32,103 Well your teacher sent this stuff over for you to do while you're sick. 202 00:12:32,287 --> 00:12:34,562 That son of a bitch! What kind of sick weirdo is he!? 203 00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:38,824 Now Stanley, I know at your age teachers can seem cold and heartless, 204 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:41,925 but later you'll understand that he did this for your own good. 205 00:12:42,047 --> 00:12:45,756 - Not Mr. Garrison ma, he really is a sick weirdo. - Yeah, it's true, he is. 206 00:12:45,887 --> 00:12:49,880 - Oh. Well anyway, here's a pencil and some paper. - Hey, where're you going? 207 00:12:50,007 --> 00:12:53,443 - We're going down to Happy Burger for some milkshakes. - Milkshakes? 208 00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:56,616 - Yeah and then we're going to the movies! - See ya, son! 209 00:12:57,327 --> 00:12:59,795 - Weak! - So this is how America works. 210 00:12:59,927 --> 00:13:01,440 We have gods and clods. 211 00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:05,719 My dad says America needs both rich and poor to survive, but I have a better idea. 212 00:13:05,847 --> 00:13:09,840 No I don't understand it Dr. Schwartz, he's perfectly healthy. 213 00:13:09,967 --> 00:13:14,882 - He's been over at Kenny's house 3 days in a row, and still hasn't caught the chickenpox. - What? 214 00:13:15,007 --> 00:13:18,982 I don't know what else to do. We sent the other boys over and they all got sick, 215 00:13:18,983 --> 00:13:21,183 but I can't get my little Kyle to catch it! 216 00:13:21,247 --> 00:13:24,125 - Oh my god! - Kyle! What are you doing there honey? 217 00:13:24,247 --> 00:13:26,886 - You! - I'll call you back Dr.Shwartz. 218 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,601 - You! - What bubala, what is it? 219 00:13:29,727 --> 00:13:33,402 You sent us over to Kenny's house on purpose! You wanted us to get sick! 220 00:13:33,527 --> 00:13:38,203 Oy. It was for your own good Kyle. I wanted you to get chickenpox while you were young. 221 00:13:38,327 --> 00:13:42,400 - Why? So I could be sitting in the hospital waiting to die like Stan! - Now Kyle, come here. 222 00:13:42,527 --> 00:13:45,280 - You get away from me, you crazy woman! - Oh boy. 223 00:13:48,807 --> 00:13:51,526 - Beer? - Oh no thanks, I brought my own. 224 00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:56,026 Microbrew sampler from Aspen. Has 6 different beers from local breweries. 225 00:13:56,967 --> 00:14:01,200 Say, remember the time we built the fort in your mom's back yard? 226 00:14:02,327 --> 00:14:08,257 - It took damned 2 years to finish it. - What ever happened to that old hunk of junk? 227 00:14:08,487 --> 00:14:11,479 - That's where I live now. - O, right. 228 00:14:11,607 --> 00:14:15,441 - And so that's why nightrider was the best show in America. - Stan Stan!! 229 00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:18,127 - Wake her up and we're both dead. - Sorry, sorry... 230 00:14:18,247 --> 00:14:19,953 You know how after we spent the night at Kenny's house 231 00:14:19,954 --> 00:14:22,554 you and Cartman got sick with chickenpox? 232 00:14:22,607 --> 00:14:25,758 - Dude, our parents sent us over there to get us sick. - What are you talking about? 233 00:14:25,887 --> 00:14:27,695 They knew that staying at Kenny's house would make us sick. 234 00:14:27,696 --> 00:14:29,796 - And they made us do it anyway. - They did? 235 00:14:29,807 --> 00:14:32,037 - Yeah, and I think I figured out why. - Why? 236 00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:35,443 - Because they're a bunch of assholes. - Uh... of course! 237 00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:36,912 Come on dude, we gotta get outta here. 238 00:14:36,913 --> 00:14:39,113 I don't know what they're planning next, but it can't be good. 239 00:14:39,247 --> 00:14:43,798 I hope that one day America can be more like Endor. 240 00:14:43,927 --> 00:14:48,239 Where the Ewats live. Endor is very... 241 00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,119 Mom asnwer that! 242 00:14:50,247 --> 00:14:53,319 They have crazed Ewats and barbeques, 243 00:14:53,447 --> 00:14:57,963 which is why I like Endor more than America. 244 00:14:59,247 --> 00:15:02,202 Cartman, you remember how we all spent the night at Kenny's a couple of days ago? 245 00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:04,403 I remember frozen waffles with no sidedishes. 246 00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:07,525 Cartman, our parents sent us over there to catch chickenpox from Kenny. 247 00:15:07,647 --> 00:15:09,956 Yeah, dude. Your mom wanted you to have herpes on your face. 248 00:15:10,087 --> 00:15:12,726 - She what? - It's some kind of parental conspiracy. 249 00:15:12,847 --> 00:15:15,156 - Our parents are trying to kill us or something. - That bitch! 250 00:15:15,287 --> 00:15:18,004 I'm gonna go downstairs and kick her square in the nuts!! 251 00:15:18,005 --> 00:15:20,505 No no no no. Come on fatass, we're gonna get em all back. 252 00:15:20,607 --> 00:15:23,643 Well I'm sure you'll find another job soon. Something will come along. 253 00:15:23,644 --> 00:15:25,544 It's not that easy. You were lucky. 254 00:15:25,687 --> 00:15:27,240 Now now, I wasn't lucky. 255 00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:30,841 You had rich parents. You got to go to that expensive community college. 256 00:15:30,967 --> 00:15:35,245 I worked my ASS off to get to where I am today. I wanted to be somebody! 257 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:39,326 I wanted to be somebody to! I just wasn't born with a silver enima up my ass! 258 00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:42,962 You're just jealous! You're a bitter old drunk just like your father! 259 00:15:43,087 --> 00:15:45,362 Now, don't make me do that again. 260 00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:48,156 You son of a bitch! 261 00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,439 - Doctor? - Yes. 262 00:15:52,567 --> 00:15:54,922 - Where's Stan? - Stan? 263 00:15:55,047 --> 00:15:57,880 - Stan, our son. - Oh yes, where's Stan? 264 00:15:58,007 --> 00:16:00,840 - You mean Stanley's missing? - No no, he's not missing. 265 00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:03,527 We just, can't seem to find him at this moment. 266 00:16:03,647 --> 00:16:07,276 - Oh my god, our son ran away! - Will he be ok out of the hospital? 267 00:16:07,407 --> 00:16:09,625 Oh sure sure. But we have to get him back soon, 268 00:16:09,626 --> 00:16:11,826 if he doesn't get his antibiotic shot today, he could die. 269 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:14,964 - Die!? - Yes die. It won't be an easy death either. 270 00:16:15,087 --> 00:16:18,682 - The chickenpox will slowly move down his trachea into his lungs... - Ok, well let's go look. 271 00:16:18,807 --> 00:16:21,788 ...as he chokes for breath, the pox will move through his inner ear into his brain 272 00:16:21,789 --> 00:16:23,289 making him think he's David Duchove... 273 00:16:23,319 --> 00:16:24,319 Ooh god no! 274 00:16:24,647 --> 00:16:27,391 - I'm sure he couldn't have gone far. - ...now moving on all fours and wheezing 275 00:16:27,392 --> 00:16:31,572 uncontrollably his cellular structure will regress in a deluctnous mass of.... 276 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:35,677 So how was it? Did you boys have a good time fishing? 277 00:16:35,807 --> 00:16:38,958 - That son of a bitch ripped my parka! - Catch anything? 278 00:16:39,087 --> 00:16:43,126 I just don't get it. Why would he invite me fishing and turn into a complete bastard? 279 00:16:43,247 --> 00:16:47,798 Well darling, I have to tell you something. He didn't invite you, I set the whole thing up. 280 00:16:47,927 --> 00:16:50,952 What? Now why the hell would you knowingly deceive me like that? 281 00:16:50,953 --> 00:16:52,853 I thought it would be good for you. 282 00:16:52,927 --> 00:16:56,522 Just like you deceived our son into going to Kenny's, and that didn't work either! 283 00:16:56,647 --> 00:16:59,002 I'm doing the best I can! 284 00:16:59,647 --> 00:17:04,516 My final solution by Kyle Broslofski. My dad is the smartest guy in the whole wide world. 285 00:17:04,647 --> 00:17:07,480 He has taught me that all poor people are actually things called clods. 286 00:17:07,607 --> 00:17:10,810 I wanna live in a world of only gods, so my idea to make America better, 287 00:17:10,811 --> 00:17:12,647 is to put all poor people into camps. 288 00:17:12,647 --> 00:17:14,285 - What?!?! - If we get rid of them, 289 00:17:14,407 --> 00:17:15,709 there will be nothing but rich people. 290 00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:18,000 And there won't be any hunger, poverty, or homeless people. 291 00:17:18,007 --> 00:17:22,046 - Cause they'll all be dead. The end. - Oh god, what have I done? 292 00:17:23,207 --> 00:17:27,564 - What's happening here Terrance? - We're doing and anal transplant, it's our only hope. 293 00:17:27,687 --> 00:17:30,360 - Who's the doner? - I am Phillip. I am. 294 00:17:30,487 --> 00:17:33,524 - Terrance, you're giving up your ass for me? - Just half my ass. 295 00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:34,594 Can you believe it Phillip? 296 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,795 Here we are best friends, and now we're going to share the same ass. 297 00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:39,405 Oh damn it! Not now! 298 00:17:40,047 --> 00:17:42,132 Damn it! Children, what are you doing here? 299 00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:44,122 Terrance and Phillip are about to go into surgery! 300 00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:45,646 Chef, we wanna know about herpes. 301 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,747 What makes you think I would know anything about that? 302 00:17:47,807 --> 00:17:50,799 - I dunno, you're just the only grownup we trust. - How does someone get herpes? 303 00:17:50,927 --> 00:17:54,158 Well you get by sharing things with someone who already has it. 304 00:17:54,287 --> 00:17:56,939 You have to be very careful around someone who has herpes. 305 00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:58,140 You know anybody with herpes? 306 00:17:58,247 --> 00:18:01,529 Well there's old Frita, down on main street. She has a mouthful of herpes. 307 00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:02,830 You need to stay away from her. 308 00:18:02,927 --> 00:18:04,721 But what if we want to give somebody herpes? 309 00:18:04,722 --> 00:18:06,922 Oh well then Frita's the right person to go to. 310 00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:09,646 - Cool! - Thanks Chef! - Ook! 311 00:18:10,127 --> 00:18:12,322 Wait a minute. What the hell did I just do? 312 00:18:13,287 --> 00:18:15,005 - Stanley? - Stan? 313 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:18,802 - Oh Stanley, where are you? - Stan? 314 00:18:21,327 --> 00:18:23,716 - Are you old Frita? - Who wants to know? 315 00:18:23,847 --> 00:18:28,284 - Someone who has a favor. - Ten dollars I'll leg, five dollars a nut. 316 00:18:28,727 --> 00:18:32,640 - We want you to give our parents herpes. - Five dollars. 317 00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:34,595 My dad has five dollars on top of his dresser. 318 00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:38,006 Stan you sound pretty sick, maybe you should go back to the hospital. 319 00:18:38,047 --> 00:18:39,800 And have Shelley kick my ass? No thanks. 320 00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,942 Plus I want to get my parents back just as much as you do. 321 00:19:37,127 --> 00:19:40,802 - Thanks a lot Frita! - Don't mention it. 322 00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:46,005 - Dude this is gonna be so killer. They're all gonna get herpes. - Hooray! 323 00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:50,965 - Stanley, where the hell have you been? - Damn it Stanley, you had us worried sick! 324 00:19:51,087 --> 00:19:54,796 - You have to get back to the hospital for a shot! - I don't wanna go back there! 325 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,440 Come on, we're taking you back to the hospital. 326 00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:58,085 Don't you guys feel like brushing your teeth first? 327 00:19:58,086 --> 00:19:59,586 - What? - You know, freshen up your breath. 328 00:19:59,687 --> 00:20:04,203 - Oh man, I don't feel so good. - Oh good, maybe you finally caught the chicken... 329 00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:06,724 Kyle! 330 00:20:10,447 --> 00:20:11,901 Well I hope you boys learned your lesson. 331 00:20:11,924 --> 00:20:15,124 Going out and playing around with chickenpox almost killed you all. 332 00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,556 - We're sorry. - Well just be thankful we got you here in time. 333 00:20:17,687 --> 00:20:19,287 Your parents are here to see you, I'll send them in. 334 00:20:19,288 --> 00:20:21,688 This itches, give me some of that calamine lotion, Cartman. 335 00:20:21,727 --> 00:20:25,561 - Heeelll no, you guys get your own! - Stanley, how are you feeling today, son? 336 00:20:25,687 --> 00:20:28,724 - Pretty good. - The doctor says that maybe you can go home tomorrow. 337 00:20:28,847 --> 00:20:31,520 - Yeah, isn't that great Stanley? - Wow cool! 338 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,556 - And how are you Kyle? - Are you doing ok? 339 00:20:34,087 --> 00:20:35,896 I'm better now! 340 00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,199 What's so funny, you two? 341 00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:41,364 - We gave you guys herpes! - What what what!? You did this? 342 00:20:41,487 --> 00:20:45,321 We got you back for getting us sick! We had a prostitute use her toothbrushes and stuff. 343 00:20:45,447 --> 00:20:49,235 I can't believe you gave us herpes. You little rascals! 344 00:20:49,367 --> 00:20:50,755 Well I guess it serves us right. 345 00:20:50,756 --> 00:20:54,156 Kids, we should've been honest about wanting you to get chickenpox. 346 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,733 It's true, we were wrong for deceiving you about it. 347 00:20:56,734 --> 00:20:59,634 Hey how come you don't have sores on your lips mom? 348 00:20:59,727 --> 00:21:02,366 - Ooh, I have them somewhere else poopykins. - Hooray! 349 00:21:02,487 --> 00:21:04,874 And uh Stewart, I think I owe you an appology. 350 00:21:04,875 --> 00:21:08,975 I realized I shouldn't be so cold towards people that are less fortunate than me. 351 00:21:09,087 --> 00:21:13,762 - Oh hell I'm sorry too. - Oh Phillip, I'm glad everything turned out for the better. 352 00:21:15,287 --> 00:21:18,006 - Well I know one thing for sure. - What's that Eric? 353 00:21:18,127 --> 00:21:21,681 We're all gonna need more calamine lotion. 354 00:21:28,527 --> 00:21:31,678 - Oh my god! They killed Kenny! - You bastards!