1
00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:46,315
Ok children I know that today
is the last day of school,

2
00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:51,350
and that the last day of school involves
pranks, but this is going too far!

3
00:01:51,385 --> 00:01:55,315
Now what've you done with Mr. Hat?

4
00:01:55,350 --> 00:02:00,350
Children, I want Mr. Hat back
right now, the prank is over!

5
00:02:00,385 --> 00:02:03,350
You think I can't get along
without Mr. Hat don't you?

6
00:02:03,385 --> 00:02:05,614
You think I can't live
without him. Well I can.

7
00:02:05,702 --> 00:02:08,970
He's just a puppet. I
don't need him. See? Watch.

8
00:02:15,911 --> 00:02:21,315
GOD DAMN IT, WHERE THE FUCK
DID YOU PUT MR.HAT!?!?!

9
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:25,350
Oh no you don't. The school year's over,
but summer vacation doesn't start for you

10
00:02:25,385 --> 00:02:29,315
little bastards, until
Mr. Hat is back on my desk.

11
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:34,327
Now I'm gonna turn around. And when I turn
back, I expect to see Mr. Hat lying right here.

12
00:02:35,385 --> 00:02:41,367
Ok, I'm gonna turn around now.

13
00:02:41,402 --> 00:02:47,350
Shit! Where did everybody go?

14
00:02:47,385 --> 00:02:49,315
Oh golly! Kevin honey!

15
00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:55,315
Good to see you again, son.

16
00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:57,350
Looks like winter's
right around the corner.

17
00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:01,367
Better get some firewood ready.

18
00:03:01,402 --> 00:03:05,315
Oh happy summer gentelemen.

19
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:08,350
Shut up Pip. Right-o. Enjoy summer
this summer for me, would you?

20
00:03:08,385 --> 00:03:09,315
What do you mean?

21
00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:12,350
Well I have to spend my summer in summer
school, because I can't be left alone.

22
00:03:12,385 --> 00:03:14,315
You see my parents are dead.

23
00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:17,523
Your parents are dead?
God damn you suck Pip.

24
00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:23,850
Oh yeah it's summer. That
means we gotta buy fireworks.

25
00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:26,315
I've picked up enough money
to buy M-80s this year.

26
00:03:26,350 --> 00:03:30,350
I saw in this movie once, where this
guy stuck a firecracker up a cat's butt.

27
00:03:30,385 --> 00:03:32,315
Cool! Maybe we can do
that to Cartman's cat.

28
00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:36,350
If you so much as touch Kitty's ass,
I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack,

29
00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:38,350
and blow your balls all over your pants!

30
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,315
Geeze Cartman!

31
00:03:39,350 --> 00:03:43,350
Well I'm just saying you know
don't make my Kitty, you know.

32
00:03:43,385 --> 00:03:45,315
Hi fellas. Hi Stu.

33
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,315
What can I do for you?
We wanna buy M-80s.

34
00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:50,350
The kind that fit in Cartman's
cat's ass. Ok that's it.

35
00:03:50,385 --> 00:03:53,315
Screw you guys! I'm going home.

36
00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:55,315
What a baby. So we'll
have 10 M-80s please.

37
00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:58,315
I'm sorry fellas, haven't
you heard? Heard what?

38
00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:00,350
All fireworks have been banned
in Colorado. What do you mean?

39
00:04:00,385 --> 00:04:02,315
It was in the paper this morning.

40
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:06,350
Dude just cause some stupid North Park kid
blew his hands off, we don't get to buy M-80s?

41
00:04:06,385 --> 00:04:07,315
Right.

42
00:04:07,350 --> 00:04:09,350
How can they do this to us? Doesn't
anyone believe in tradition anymore?

43
00:04:09,385 --> 00:04:12,171
Yeah! We've been playing with
firecrackers our whole lives!

44
00:04:17,385 --> 00:04:19,350
Udas kill Kenny.

45
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:22,315
U bastards.

46
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:26,350
A summer without fireworks is like.. I
don't know, but it's like... it sucks ass.

47
00:04:26,385 --> 00:04:29,350
Yeah now what are we supposed to do?

48
00:04:29,385 --> 00:04:35,315
I can still sell snakes.

49
00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:39,350
This is absurd. We need fireworks for
our 4th of July celebration at the lake.

50
00:04:39,385 --> 00:04:41,867
I don't care that some
twirp blew his hands off.

51
00:04:41,902 --> 00:04:44,350
We've got to have
fireworks for our picknick!

52
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,315
Hold on I've got another call.

53
00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:50,350
Hello? No I don't know where Mr. Hat is!
Geeze Garrison, I've got bigger problems!

54
00:04:50,385 --> 00:04:54,350
Hello yes. Now what am I supposed to do
about our 4th of July show at the lake?

55
00:04:54,385 --> 00:04:58,315
No I don't want snakes!
This is an outrage!

56
00:04:58,350 --> 00:05:02,350
Get me the Mayor... I know that
smartass, I was being ironic.

57
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:06,350
I'm sorry Mayor but I couldn't
find the little man in the boat.

58
00:05:06,385 --> 00:05:09,315
Well keep looking. This is ridiculous.

59
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,315
We can't have a celebration
without fireworks.

60
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:14,850
Who ever heard of a 4th of
July picknick with snakes?

61
00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:18,350
Oh I like snakes. You light
em and they grow and grow.

62
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:21,315
Wait a minute. That's it! I've got it!

63
00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:25,350
This 4th of July, South Park will
make history by having the largest

64
00:05:25,385 --> 00:05:27,315
snake in the world!

65
00:05:27,350 --> 00:05:30,350
The press will love it! I'll
be on the front pa... ooooh!

66
00:05:30,385 --> 00:05:34,315
I found him.

67
00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:36,315
Man it's hot out here.

68
00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:38,315
What do you guys wanna do, we
have the whole summer to play.

69
00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:41,350
Dude, what are we supposed to do?
We always just play with fireworks.

70
00:05:41,385 --> 00:05:43,867
I know, let's go sledding. Yeah!

71
00:05:43,902 --> 00:05:46,315
Come on Cartman get on. Stan...

72
00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:48,350
Let's go dude, we're ready. What
the hell you waiting for Cartman?

73
00:05:48,385 --> 00:05:51,350
Guys, don't you notice anything
wrong with this picture?

74
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,350
Yeah. Your fat ass isn't on the sled.

75
00:05:53,385 --> 00:05:56,315
Whatever.

76
00:05:56,350 --> 00:05:59,315
What the hell's going on?

77
00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:01,315
Hey there boys! Hey uncle Jimbo.

78
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:03,315
How come you're not blowing
things up? It's summer!

79
00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:06,350
Didn't you hear? They outlawed fireworks,
because a little boy blew off his hands.

80
00:06:06,385 --> 00:06:09,867
What?!? Yeah, they're not even
having them at the lake this year.

81
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:13,350
Oh my god! Well don't worry
boys. Uncle Jimbo is on the case.

82
00:06:13,385 --> 00:06:15,315
Buckle your seat belt Ned.

83
00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:17,350
Mmmwhere are we going? Mexico my amigo

84
00:06:17,385 --> 00:06:19,315
Why are we going to Mexico?

85
00:06:19,350 --> 00:06:21,850
To buy fireworks. Just cause
some kid blew off his hands,

86
00:06:21,885 --> 00:06:24,350
doesn't mean the rest of us
have to suffer now does it?

87
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,315
Are fireworks legal in Mexico?

88
00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:31,315
Hell, everything's legal in
Mexico. It's the American way.

89
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:35,315
At the dynomite firework company,
we have a commitment to excellence.

90
00:06:35,350 --> 00:06:39,512
Our focus is on safety while... Just cut
to the chase and tell us about the snake!

91
00:06:43,385 --> 00:06:47,350
Now the disk that we're making
is aproximately 5000 times

92
00:06:47,385 --> 00:06:49,315
bigger than the average snake.

93
00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:55,350
We'll have to fly it in with 3 comanchi helecopters,
and lower it on to the ground at the lake.

94
00:06:55,385 --> 00:06:59,350
Then we'll need 57 flame throwers all
set up around the perimeter of the disk,

95
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,867
all triggered to fire at the same time.

96
00:07:01,902 --> 00:07:04,350
Flame throwers triggered
at the same time

97
00:07:04,385 --> 00:07:06,867
Once lit, the snake will... grow.

98
00:07:06,902 --> 00:07:09,350
And good times will be had by all.

99
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,315
Wonderful, spectacular!

100
00:07:11,350 --> 00:07:15,350
Well you see, fireworks at the lake will
not only go on, but perhaps be the best ever.

101
00:07:15,385 --> 00:07:17,350
Wait a minute, we're gonna need an
orchestra to play the starts and stripes.

102
00:07:17,385 --> 00:07:19,315
Hey how about the
elementary school orchestra.

103
00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:22,315
They did a great version of Mary Had
a Little Lamb at their last concert.

104
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:26,350
Yes get the school principal on the phone. And
we need somebody to dress up like uncle Raymus.

105
00:07:26,385 --> 00:07:29,867
Uh Mayor I think you mean uncle Sam.

106
00:07:29,902 --> 00:07:33,350
Oh course I do you fucking asshole!

107
00:07:33,385 --> 00:07:35,315
Dusty the dirtball!

108
00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:37,315
Why does everything have
to suck so bad in summer.

109
00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:42,350
Hey look it's Mr. Garrison. Hello
children. How is your summer going?

110
00:07:42,385 --> 00:07:44,350
Summer sucks ass Mr. Garrison.
Hey, have you found Mr. Hat yet?

111
00:07:44,385 --> 00:07:49,350
Oh, oh that old thing? Why
I almost forgot he was gone.

112
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:53,350
I don't need Mr. Hat. That's good.

113
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:59,350
Mr. Hat is just a puppet. Yep.

114
00:07:59,385 --> 00:08:04,315
Mr. Hat isn't real. Right.

115
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:09,350
Hey guys, my mom signed me up for swimming
lessons at the community pool, you wanna come?

116
00:08:09,385 --> 00:08:11,350
Swimming lessons dude? That is
the lamest thing I've ever heard.

117
00:08:11,385 --> 00:08:12,315
It is not.

118
00:08:12,350 --> 00:08:14,350
Everyone knows that the first
graders pee in the community pool.

119
00:08:14,385 --> 00:08:17,350
Yeah Cartman, you're swimming
around in 1st grader pee!

120
00:08:17,385 --> 00:08:19,315
I'm not swimming around
in pee! Whatever dude.

121
00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:22,350
My mom says if I take swimming lessons,
I can be in the Olympics some day.

122
00:08:22,385 --> 00:08:23,315
Yeah, the fatass Olympics.

123
00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:26,315
I'm trying to make the
best of a bad situation!

124
00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:29,350
I don't need to hear crap, from a
bunch of hippie freaks living in denial!

125
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:32,315
Screw you guys, I'm going home.

126
00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:36,315
But Cartman we're trying
to... Screw you guys... home.

127
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:41,350
What does he mean "living in denial"? Dude it's
Cartman. He's just being a dumbass like always.

128
00:08:41,385 --> 00:08:42,315
There how does that look?

129
00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:44,350
Like a big hunk of dirt with
a carrot sticking out of it.

130
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:46,315
Ah crap.

131
00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:53,315
Ok kids everyone in the pool.

132
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:54,350
Come on Eric. We're gonna start now.

133
00:08:54,385 --> 00:08:56,315
Na-uh. Just jump in!

134
00:08:56,350 --> 00:09:00,781
I don't wanna. It's not gonna
hurt you hon. Just do it!

135
00:09:03,385 --> 00:09:04,315
There you go!

136
00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:07,350
Now just let the 1st graders swim
by you and then head towards us.

137
00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:11,315
Huh? First graders!

138
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:16,108
Awww weak! Weak! Aww
you sons of bitches!

139
00:09:20,350 --> 00:09:23,350
Where the is our fireworks.
We only have 24 hours!

140
00:09:23,385 --> 00:09:25,350
I'm sure it'll be here
any second. Shut up!

141
00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:27,315
Copy that.

142
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:30,350
Ok children, I'm sure we're a
little rusty. Where is Eric Cartman?

143
00:09:30,385 --> 00:09:32,315
He's taking swimming lessons.

144
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:35,350
Oh dear. How are we supposed to sound
good without our french horn section?

145
00:09:35,385 --> 00:09:39,195
Oh, let's try some scales
first. C scale first. And...

146
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:48,591
Oh ok, that was pretty good.
Let's play Mozart Symphony #5.

147
00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:54,315
Oh we're doomed. Our 4th of July
celebration is going to have no fireworks

148
00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:58,781
and a bunch of tonedeaf little shits
playing... wait a minute.. it's the snake!

149
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,350
Let's move along people,
if you see one giant snake

150
00:10:06,385 --> 00:10:09,315
thingy firework, you're seen 'em all.

151
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:15,350
Call everybody, the show's back on!
Come one we've only go 1 day to prepare!

152
00:10:15,385 --> 00:10:17,315
Buenas dias mi amigo.
[Good day my friend]

153
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,350
Yo soy uno Americano spectacularr!
[I am a spectacular American!]

154
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:20,315
Que? [What?]

155
00:10:20,350 --> 00:10:24,350
Yo necessito el fireworko spectacularr!
[I need the spectacular firework!]

156
00:10:24,385 --> 00:10:26,315
Necessito que usted grande?
[Do you need that big?]

157
00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:30,350
No, moleste el gato spectacular.
[No, to molest a cat spectacular. ]

158
00:10:30,385 --> 00:10:33,315
Would you look at that Ned. Now
that's a Tijuna bottle rocket.

159
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:36,350
These babies have the power to blast
a firehole right through the ozone.

160
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,315
They're spectacular.

161
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:43,350
It's our job to get these to children
all over America for the 4th of July.

162
00:10:43,385 --> 00:10:45,350
We'll be like Santa Claus
on Christmas morning.

163
00:10:45,385 --> 00:10:51,315
Bueno. [Good]

164
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,315
Hello is Mr. Hat there?

165
00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:56,315
Is this some kind of joke? Huh-huh yes!

166
00:10:56,350 --> 00:11:01,350
You go to hell, you go to hell and you
die! I'm gonna find out who you are!

167
00:11:01,385 --> 00:11:03,350
Uh, I don't think you can, mmkay.

168
00:11:03,385 --> 00:11:05,315
God damn it!

169
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:08,350
Oh Lamb Chop. What would
you like to do today?

170
00:11:08,385 --> 00:11:10,350
Well I'd like to sing you a song.

171
00:11:10,385 --> 00:11:12,771
Hey let's sing one together.

172
00:11:28,385 --> 00:11:31,315
No lamb chop no!

173
00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:35,150
Judy help me! It burns, it burns!

174
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:41,350
Eric, you have to get in
the deep end sooner or later.

175
00:11:41,385 --> 00:11:43,867
Later's fine. Just do your side stroke.

176
00:11:43,902 --> 00:11:46,315
I only know how to do it doggy style.

177
00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:49,350
That's doggie paddle
Eric. Now come over here.

178
00:11:49,385 --> 00:11:54,315
Can I do it doggy style? Ok.

179
00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:58,350
That's it, that's it you can do it!

180
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,315
Oh damn it! Ah not again!

181
00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:05,315
Come on Eric! No way! These
sons of bitches! I'm going home.

182
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,350
Well 4th of July is finally here, and
with the state wide ban on fireworks,

183
00:12:08,385 --> 00:12:11,315
people from all over Colorado
are flocking to South Park.

184
00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:14,350
Here with a special report is a
normal looking guy with a funny name.

185
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,867
Thanks Tom, looks like
the firework bad won't be

186
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,315
putting a damper on one
town's festivities tonight.

187
00:12:19,350 --> 00:12:21,315
I'm here at Stark's Pond in South
Park where the crowd of residents

188
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:25,350
and scores of tourists anctiously
await the lighting of the largest snake,

189
00:12:25,385 --> 00:12:26,315
in human history.

190
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:28,315
Now as most of you
will probably remember,

191
00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:31,350
snakes are these little round disks
that you light and they spew out

192
00:12:31,385 --> 00:12:33,315
a little snake of black ash.

193
00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:36,350
Well the South Park snake, is
over half a mile in diameter,

194
00:12:36,385 --> 00:12:39,315
and 20 stories high.

195
00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:43,350
I'm told that this even won't begin until
the sun goes down and night is upon us.

196
00:12:43,385 --> 00:12:45,315
Alrighty then. Looks like we're ready.

197
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:47,315
How are your swimming
lessons going Cartman? Fine.

198
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,350
I heard you won't even get in the
deep end. Well you heard wrong hippy!

199
00:12:50,385 --> 00:12:52,315
Ladies and gentlemen,
good citizens of Colorado,

200
00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:55,350
it's my pleasure to be the first person
to wish you all a Happy 4th of July!

201
00:12:55,385 --> 00:12:59,350
Let's start with our school band
playing the stars and stripes.

202
00:12:59,385 --> 00:13:00,315
This is it.

203
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,683
And a one, and a two, and a...

204
00:13:07,385 --> 00:13:08,315
What the fuck is that?

205
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:10,350
I think it's the stars and stripes.

206
00:13:10,385 --> 00:13:12,274
Oh hell, light the snake.

207
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:32,315
Alright Ned. Now we're coming
up to the American border.

208
00:13:32,350 --> 00:13:36,041
They can't know that we have fireworks
in the trunk. Just let me do the talking.

209
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:44,350
I guess that goes without
saying, doesn't it?

210
00:13:44,385 --> 00:13:45,315
Good evening gentlemen.

211
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:47,315
Hello there fellow American.

212
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:49,350
We're just anxious to
get back to our homeland.

213
00:13:49,385 --> 00:13:51,350
Alright, I just need to
ask you a few questions.

214
00:13:51,385 --> 00:13:53,315
Fire away, we have nothing to hide.

215
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:56,350
Is anyone other than the 2 of
you traveling in this vehicle?

216
00:13:56,385 --> 00:13:59,350
No sir. Do you have any firearms
or explosives in the car?

217
00:13:59,385 --> 00:14:01,315
Yeah... I mean no.

218
00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:03,315
Open your trunk please sir.

219
00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:06,392
Damn, damn! I always
get that question wrong!

220
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:16,631
My god it's beautiful. It never fails to amaze
me how I managed to overcome adversity.

221
00:14:19,385 --> 00:14:21,350
Say uh Charlie, when
does that thing die out?

222
00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:22,315
Die out?

223
00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:27,315
Yes you know, expire, end.

224
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:30,850
Hello?!? I'm asking you when it stops!

225
00:14:30,885 --> 00:14:34,315
I'm not sure, I never made one this big.

226
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:36,350
I guess we didn't quite
think this through did we.

227
00:14:36,385 --> 00:14:37,315
WHAT!?!?!

228
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:40,350
Dude, that thing is huge! Yeah,
maybe they should shut it off.

229
00:14:40,385 --> 00:14:43,350
Ay, you guys are screwing up the song.

230
00:14:43,385 --> 00:14:45,640
Stop it! It's out of control!

231
00:14:50,385 --> 00:14:54,315
Kenny watch out!

232
00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:57,350
Hey guys, I dodged the
thing, and it missed me... ah!

233
00:14:57,385 --> 00:14:58,350
Oh my god! They killed Kenny!

234
00:14:58,385 --> 00:15:01,315
You... bastards!

235
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:05,350
Oh my god. You tell me how much
longer this thing is gonna last!

236
00:15:05,385 --> 00:15:09,315
let's see. A normal snake lasts 3 sec

237
00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:12,350
So when does it run out?
November... of next year.

238
00:15:12,385 --> 00:15:13,515
Oh hell!

239
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:29,315
Coming up for 9 hours,

240
00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:32,350
and the giant snake shows
no signs of stopping.

241
00:15:32,385 --> 00:15:35,350
Residents have tried
everything, from firehoses,

242
00:15:35,385 --> 00:15:37,367
to yelling at it to make the snake stop.

243
00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:39,315
But nothing seems to
work. Thanks Creamy.

244
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:43,350
Police are advising all citizens to
stay indoors, not breath the ash and air,

245
00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:49,350
and not ever light any giant
snakes in the near future.

246
00:15:49,385 --> 00:15:50,315
Man this sucks.

247
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:53,350
What should we do dude? That big snake keeps
growing. It's gonna demolish the whole state soon.

248
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:55,350
We should do what we always
do. Ask Chef for help.

249
00:15:55,385 --> 00:15:57,195
Where is Chef?

250
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:31,350
Hello? What? Oh hello
children. It's a what?

251
00:16:31,385 --> 00:16:35,350
A giant snake! Killing everybody!

252
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,315
Growing bigger?!?

253
00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:41,943
Children... you know I rarely
say this but... well fudge ya.

254
00:16:52,155 --> 00:16:54,350
What'd he say? Dude I think he
told us to go fuck ourselves.

255
00:16:54,385 --> 00:16:56,315
Wow! How's that gonna help?

256
00:16:56,350 --> 00:17:01,902
All over America, the effects of
the giant ash snake can be seen.

257
00:17:05,385 --> 00:17:09,350
Yay, let the spirit of heavenly
father be blessed upon you.

258
00:17:09,385 --> 00:17:12,315
From this day on, all will be well.

259
00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:15,297
I already feel like
things are getting better.

260
00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:23,850
And I can't sleep or think. Where
would he have gone, why would he leave?

261
00:17:23,885 --> 00:17:28,315
Well, um let me ask you this. Why,
where where do you think... Mr. Hat went?

262
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:32,350
How the fuck should I know? If I knew that I
wouldn't be seeing a fucking psychiatrist, would I?

263
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,315
Well I guess, I see what you're saying.

264
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:37,315
At first I was sure one
of the children took him,

265
00:17:37,350 --> 00:17:42,350
but then I remembered that Mr. Hat and
I actually had a fight that morning.

266
00:17:42,385 --> 00:17:43,315
Are you gay?

267
00:17:43,350 --> 00:17:45,850
What? It's it's just a question.

268
00:17:45,885 --> 00:17:48,315
Are you propositioning me? No.

269
00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:51,350
Well I can tell you
that I'm 100% not gay.

270
00:17:51,385 --> 00:17:54,350
Well I believe you. I
absolutely believe you.

271
00:17:54,385 --> 00:17:56,350
Mr. Hat on the other hand.

272
00:17:56,385 --> 00:17:57,315
Mr. Hat was gay?

273
00:17:57,350 --> 00:18:00,315
Sometimes he fanatsizes
about same sexualations.

274
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:04,350
I see. Sometimes Mr. Hat liked to
pretend he was in a sona with Brett Far,

275
00:18:04,385 --> 00:18:06,350
in a bottle of a
Thousand Apple dressing.

276
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:08,350
That I did not need to know.

277
00:18:08,385 --> 00:18:09,315
Well I'm just saying.

278
00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:13,350
Mr. Garrison, I think that Mr. Hat was
actually your gay side trying to come out.

279
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:17,315
You see it's you that's
gay, but you're in denial,

280
00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:23,350
so you act out your gay persona
with a homosexual puppet.

281
00:18:23,385 --> 00:18:25,315
What do you think about that?

282
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:31,350
I think you're the
loony one in this room.

283
00:18:31,385 --> 00:18:35,315
Serves you right you gay bashing homo!

284
00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:40,315
Well Ned, looks like we
missed 4th of July again.

285
00:18:40,350 --> 00:18:43,350
Damn it. Those poor kids must've been
so disapointed having nothing but them

286
00:18:43,385 --> 00:18:45,367
stupid woossie snakes to light.

287
00:18:45,402 --> 00:18:47,315
MMwell better luck next year.

288
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:50,315
Yeah you're right. Ok let's try again.

289
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:54,350
Is anyone other than the 2 of
you traveling in this vehicle?

290
00:18:54,385 --> 00:18:55,315
No.

291
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:58,350
Do you have any firearms
or explosives in the car?

292
00:18:58,385 --> 00:19:00,315
Yes?

293
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:05,350
Damn it, I got it wrong
again! What's the answer again?

294
00:19:05,385 --> 00:19:08,350
Holy smokes, what the hell is that?

295
00:19:08,385 --> 00:19:10,315
It looks like my ex-wife!

296
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,567
Quick Ned, this is our
chance. The hummer's outside.

297
00:19:21,385 --> 00:19:24,315
Hey I haven't seen you in here before.

298
00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:28,315
As more and more cities are effected by
the growing ash and the death toll rises

299
00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:33,350
to 3000, people from all over the country are
looking to the Mayor of South Park for answers.

300
00:19:33,385 --> 00:19:37,315
And it appears as if thought the
mayor is going to explain matters now.

301
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:41,350
Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor of South
Park regrets that she can not be here herself.

302
00:19:41,385 --> 00:19:44,315
But she is sick.

303
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,350
Sick? What kind of lame excuse
is that? You gotta be kidding me!

304
00:19:47,385 --> 00:19:51,350
Aw this is ridicoulous.
Come on we want answers!

305
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:54,315
She's having her period.

306
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:58,350
We do however have an official
statement for all the concerned citites

307
00:19:58,385 --> 00:20:02,350
about the matter with the giant
snake that we can't seem to put out.

308
00:20:02,385 --> 00:20:06,330
"We're sorry, our bad. "
Thank you that is all.

309
00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:16,367
Ook. No first graders around.

310
00:20:16,402 --> 00:20:20,315
I can swim to the deep end.

311
00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:22,350
I can do it. I can do it. I can...

312
00:20:22,385 --> 00:20:28,315
I'm gonna make it.

313
00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:30,350
How many days left in
summer. A lot I think.

314
00:20:30,385 --> 00:20:32,315
Damn it! I just want it to snow again!

315
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:36,350
I don't think it matters dude. This
giant snake is gonna kill everone soon.

316
00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:37,350
Buenas Gracias boys! [Good thanks boys]

317
00:20:37,385 --> 00:20:39,315
Hi uncle Jimbo.

318
00:20:39,350 --> 00:20:40,315
Aww now, why the long faces.

319
00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:42,315
We're bored. There's nothing to do.

320
00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:47,350
Well I don't think that's a problem
that some Tijuana rockets can't solve.

321
00:20:47,385 --> 00:20:49,315
Hooray!

322
00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:54,350
Careful with those now.
Those are dangerous.

323
00:20:54,385 --> 00:20:58,315
Point them away from your eyes now.

324
00:20:58,350 --> 00:21:03,550
Aww look at em Ned. Look how much
happiness a little firepower can bring to a child.

325
00:21:09,385 --> 00:21:11,315
Hey look! We blew up the snake!

326
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:14,315
All the ash from the snake
is putting the flame out.

327
00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:19,016
Well how do you like that. Bottle
rockets saved the 4th of July.

328
00:21:22,385 --> 00:21:26,315
I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna
make it to the deep end!

329
00:21:26,350 --> 00:21:31,350
I made it! I made it! I made it
to the deep end! Hooray for me!

330
00:21:31,385 --> 00:21:34,485
The snake's been
destroyed, the pool's open!

331
00:21:38,385 --> 00:21:42,350
Oh no! You sons of bitches!

332
00:21:42,385 --> 00:21:45,315
Aww sons of bitches!

333
00:21:45,350 --> 00:21:49,315
Look they put out the snake!

334
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:54,350
Yes apparently my plan to blow
up the snake worked perfectly.

335
00:21:54,385 --> 00:21:56,315
Hey look it's snowing!

336
00:21:56,350 --> 00:21:59,561
Well it's snowing black
ash, but what the hell?

337
00:22:05,385 --> 00:22:06,315
Winter's back!

338
00:22:06,350 --> 00:22:08,350
Wow, it's a black blizzard!

339
00:22:08,385 --> 00:22:10,315
Mr. Garrison: Where's Mr. Hat?

340
00:22:10,350 --> 00:22:13,315
Oh I'm through with Mr. Hat.
He's a two-timing whore.

341
00:22:13,350 --> 00:22:17,350
From now on children, you're all
gonna be learning from Mr. Twig.

342
00:22:17,385 --> 00:22:20,350
That's right children.
I'll see you in the fall!

343
00:22:20,385 --> 00:22:25,315
Oh I can hardly wait.

344
00:22:25,350 --> 00:22:29,350
Hey children! Everybody! I'm
back! I'm back from Aruba!

345
00:22:29,385 --> 00:22:32,315
What the...

346
00:22:32,350 --> 00:22:35,315
Hey Chef. How's it going?

347
00:22:35,350 --> 00:22:39,315
Howdy Chef, how was
your summer vacation?

348
00:22:39,350 --> 00:22:41,350
Ok, everybody get in a line,
so I can woop all yo asses.