1
00:00:32,853 --> 00:00:35,227
School days, school days, teacher's golden rule day…

2
00:00:35,228 --> 00:00:36,702
-Ah, damn it!
-What?

3
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,922
My God-damned little brother's trying to follow me to school, again!

4
00:00:39,079 --> 00:00:40,214
Suck my balls.

5
00:00:40,466 --> 00:00:42,429
No, Ike! You can't come to school with me.

6
00:00:42,464 --> 00:00:43,661
Yeah! Go home, you little dildo!

7
00:00:43,891 --> 00:00:46,037
Dude, for the last time, don't call my brother a dildo!

8
00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:48,761
Alright, go home, you little semen-puking asshole dickhead!

9
00:00:50,277 --> 00:00:51,216
Dude, sweet!

10
00:00:51,644 --> 00:00:53,750
Yeah. Check it out. Ready Ike? Kick the baby!

11
00:00:54,481 --> 00:00:56,679
Don't hit the God-damned baby!

12
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,013
Kick it!

13
00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:02,080
Whoa Cartman. Looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.

14
00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:04,731
That's because I was having these bogus nightmares all night long.

15
00:01:05,388 --> 00:01:06,044
Really? What about?

16
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,072
Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed… in the dark.

17
00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:12,135
When all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room.

18
00:01:12,752 --> 00:01:17,691
Then slowly my bedroom door begin to open
and the next thing I remember
I was being drug through a hallway.

19
00:01:19,545 --> 00:01:24,276
Then these scary hands wanted to operate on me.
And they had big heads and big black eyes…

20
00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:25,227
Dude! Visitors!

21
00:01:25,547 --> 00:01:26,681
-Totally!
-What?

22
00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:28,399
That wasn't a dream Cartman, those were visitors!

23
00:01:28,777 --> 00:01:29,957
No, it was just a dream, my mom said so.

24
00:01:30,451 --> 00:01:34,294
Visitors are real. They... Wait a minute. This has all happened before.

25
00:01:34,656 --> 00:01:36,233
Yeah. This does seem really familiar.

26
00:01:36,781 --> 00:01:38,583
What the Funk & Wagnalls are you talkin' about?

27
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:40,935
Cartman, don't you remember the last time you had this dream?

28
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,322
Eh-ih... shut up you guys, you're just tryin' to scare me.

29
00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:44,731
No, dude, this happened before!

30
00:01:44,732 --> 00:01:48,677
Aliens put some device in you and then we tied you up to a tree and you went up on their ship! You don't remember that?

31
00:01:49,054 --> 00:01:49,761
No I don't remember that!

32
00:01:50,191 --> 00:01:50,922
You don't?

33
00:01:51,012 --> 00:01:52,686
No, because the aliens erased my memory!

34
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,252
I remember this whole thing. Ike tried to follow you to school.

35
00:01:56,253 --> 00:01:58,273
You kicked him, then Cartman told us about his alien dream.

36
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,112
Yeah, and then Chef pulled up in his car.

37
00:02:02,534 --> 00:02:03,646
Hello there, children!

38
00:02:05,805 --> 00:02:06,846
And then you said

39
00:02:07,007 --> 00:02:08,805
What's gonna be for lunch today, Chef?

40
00:02:08,966 --> 00:02:11,271
Well, today it's Salisbury steak with hot buttered noodles

41
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,972
and a choice of green bean salad or vegetable medley.

42
00:02:14,076 --> 00:02:14,787
Weird

43
00:02:15,007 --> 00:02:16,216
Say, did any of you children

44
00:02:16,216 --> 00:02:18,010
see the alien space ship last night?

45
00:02:19,061 --> 00:02:19,739
What the?

46
00:02:20,116 --> 00:02:21,599
Chef, we're in a repeat.

47
00:02:21,762 --> 00:02:22,673
A repeat??

48
00:02:22,692 --> 00:02:26,699
Cartman was visited by aliens again last night.
And now it's like we're living a repeat of a previous day.

49
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,290
Aw dude, I hate repeats!

50
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:32,616
I've been feelin' déjà vu all mornin', children.
I knew somethin' strange was goin' on!

51
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:34,754
It all started when Cartman got an anal probe.

52
00:02:35,002 --> 00:02:37,455
We have to get Eric to a proctologist right away.

53
00:02:40,945 --> 00:02:42,411
What is a proc-tologist, Chef?

54
00:02:42,492 --> 00:02:45,246
He's a doctor that specializes in your asshole, children.

55
00:02:45,283 --> 00:02:48,882
You mean, at some point in this doctor's life
he decided he wanted to work on people's buttholes.

56
00:02:49,059 --> 00:02:49,830
That's right.

57
00:02:50,105 --> 00:02:50,879
What a dick!

58
00:02:51,176 --> 00:02:52,700
Hello everyone!

59
00:02:52,847 --> 00:02:55,191
Hello Doctor. Thanks for seein' Eric on such short notice.

60
00:02:55,353 --> 00:02:56,526
What seems to be the problem?

61
00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:59,351
We just want you to take a look and tell us if you see anything abnormal.

62
00:02:59,866 --> 00:03:00,944
Other than his monstrous size.

63
00:03:01,216 --> 00:03:03,523
SHUT UP, KYLE! SHUT YOUR GOD-DAMNED MOUTH!

64
00:03:07,902 --> 00:03:08,233
All right, let's see here. Oh my God!!

65
00:03:08,268 --> 00:03:08,403
What?

66
00:03:08,404 --> 00:03:10,789
Why, there's a huge crack goin' right down the middle!

67
00:03:13,004 --> 00:03:14,303
Haha, very funny.

68
00:03:14,414 --> 00:03:15,850
Yeah, like we haven't heard that one a zillion times.

69
00:03:16,009 --> 00:03:17,271
All right, let's take a look.

70
00:03:19,805 --> 00:03:21,263
Heey, just what the hell do you think you're doing?

71
00:03:21,536 --> 00:03:23,930
Eric, the doctor has to feel inside your rectum.

72
00:03:24,048 --> 00:03:26,351
And afterwards, he'll probably have to burn his hand and bury it.

73
00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:29,020
Kyle, I swear, if I didn't have a guy's hand up my ass right now,

74
00:03:29,021 --> 00:03:30,721
I'd leap across the room and kick you in the nuts.

75
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:34,998
Well the prostate seems to be normal.

76
00:03:36,076 --> 00:03:37,551
No swelling of the hemorrhoidal gland...

77
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:39,202
Wait, what's this?

78
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:45,397
Are you okay?

79
00:03:45,615 --> 00:03:49,851
Dude. You know that feeling when you take a huuuge dump? Awesome!

80
00:03:50,091 --> 00:03:51,159
Well, doctor?

81
00:03:51,159 --> 00:03:56,145
I've never quite seen this before, uh...
Perhaps he just needs some hemorrhoid cream.

82
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:00,387
You all right?

83
00:04:00,806 --> 00:04:03,196
You know the feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up inside your ass?

84
00:04:03,197 --> 00:04:04,453
NO I""M NOT ALL RIGHT!!"

85
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,790
I've never seen a hemorrhoid react this way.

86
00:04:07,272 --> 00:04:09,966
That wasn't no hemorrhoid, it was an alien hoobajoob!

87
00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:12,542
Come on, children! We've got to get Eric to some real help!

88
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:14,130
Where to now, Chef?

89
00:04:14,225 --> 00:04:17,236
That thing inside Eric's asshole looked like some kinda alien satellite dish.

90
00:04:17,613 --> 00:04:19,754
We need to see my friend down at the Space Center now!

91
00:04:29,873 --> 00:04:32,768
And you're the only person I could think of who might be able to help us, Jeff.

92
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:35,058
How do we uh, make it come out?

93
00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:37,565
Someone just has to activate it like the proctologist did.

94
00:04:37,782 --> 00:04:42,516
Ohhh no no nonono! Nobody is putting their finger in my ass again! Unless it's Kyle.

95
00:04:42,769 --> 00:04:45,275
What? No way! You do it, Kenny!

96
00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:46,833
Nope! It has to be Kyle!

97
00:04:47,035 --> 00:04:47,624
Go on.

98
00:04:47,624 --> 00:04:49,259
I'm not putting my finger up Cartman's butt!

99
00:04:49,608 --> 00:04:51,609
Kyle, the fate of the world may be at stake.

100
00:04:52,557 --> 00:04:53,917
Come, Kyle. Do hurry.

101
00:04:58,534 --> 00:04:59,970
Go ahead, it won't bite.

102
00:05:03,633 --> 00:05:04,613
God-damnit Cartman!

103
00:05:05,082 --> 00:05:06,479
I couldn't resist. I'm sorry.

104
00:05:09,911 --> 00:05:10,797
Stop it Cartman!

105
00:05:11,086 --> 00:05:12,090
Okay. Okay okay.

106
00:05:14,119 --> 00:05:15,032
(Gaaahaha, he got you again!)

107
00:05:15,033 --> 00:05:17,981
God Damnit!

108
00:05:17,982 --> 00:05:18,042
Haha. Oh man, that was great.

109
00:05:18,477 --> 00:05:20,571
Okay, go ahead. I'm all out of farts now.

110
00:05:25,134 --> 00:05:26,946
Okaay, okay. It's not funny anymore.

111
00:05:29,331 --> 00:05:30,097
Oh yes it is!

112
00:05:31,816 --> 00:05:32,980
Eric, that's enough!

113
00:05:33,073 --> 00:05:36,223
Okay, okay.

114
00:05:36,224 --> 00:05:37,336
Ohh, double psych!

115
00:05:39,444 --> 00:05:42,289
That's it! I don't care about the fate of the world! Screw it!

116
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,447
Oh, nice going, Cartman!

117
00:05:43,562 --> 00:05:45,579
All right, all right, I'm sorry. Go ahead, Kyle.

118
00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:46,880
No!

119
00:05:46,883 --> 00:05:47,563
No, go ahead. I'm dry.

120
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:48,354
You're lying!

121
00:05:48,654 --> 00:05:51,810
It stopped being funny forty seconds ago, boy! Let's just get this over with!

122
00:05:52,204 --> 00:05:53,681
But it was one of the best times I've ever had.

123
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,298
Can I see this thing, please?

124
00:05:56,059 --> 00:05:56,685
Okay.

125
00:05:58,352 --> 00:05:59,371
Ohhh! God-damnit!

126
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:01,727
Okay. Now it's funny again.

127
00:06:02,089 --> 00:06:05,490
This is so awesome. I don't think I made it out of that proctologist's office, guys.

128
00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:06,938
I think I died and went to heaven.

129
00:06:07,031 --> 00:06:08,625
That does it! CHARGE!

130
00:06:15,038 --> 00:06:15,936
What's it doing?

131
00:06:16,822 --> 00:06:18,164
It, it's sending a transmission of some kind.

132
00:06:20,437 --> 00:06:21,078
Got it!

133
00:06:23,652 --> 00:06:25,654
It's just sending images of cities and people and stuff.

134
00:06:26,064 --> 00:06:27,730
Where is the signal being sent to?

135
00:06:31,903 --> 00:06:33,921
Ugh. I don't wanna play anymore, you guys.

136
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:37,001
We went through all that just for some gay video of Earth?

137
00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:38,723
We wanted to see an alien planet or something.

138
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,768
Whoever they are, if they're receiving messages,
they might be sending them, too.

139
00:06:43,491 --> 00:06:45,076
Wait a minute. c-candy bars.

140
00:06:46,008 --> 00:06:46,685
Candy bars?

141
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:51,258
Yu-you know. Candy bars. They usually come in a wrapper. Just like you... wrap a Christmas present.

142
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:56,101
Christmas happens when it's cold. Cold, as in Alaska - that's... with polar bears.

143
00:06:56,575 --> 00:06:58,716
Polar bears... pola... polarity!

144
00:06:59,357 --> 00:07:04,478
I can switch the polarity to see what
transmissions are coming from the
location this one is being sent to!

145
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:09,209
What the heck?

146
00:07:15,325 --> 00:07:16,405
They're coming in!

147
00:07:22,666 --> 00:07:23,423
What do we do???

148
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,593
It's that guy you want! He's trying to reverse your polarities!

149
00:07:26,969 --> 00:07:27,412
What??

150
00:07:28,787 --> 00:07:29,627
Help!

151
00:07:30,662 --> 00:07:32,031
Get in the car, children! Get in the car!

152
00:07:37,634 --> 00:07:38,341
What is that?

153
00:07:38,342 --> 00:07:39,649
Can you see anything, children?

154
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:41,653
The aliens are chasing us!

155
00:07:49,112 --> 00:07:50,165
God damned aliens!

156
00:07:53,008 --> 00:07:53,956
Chef! End of the road!

157
00:07:55,491 --> 00:07:57,276
Hold on, children! We have to ditch them!

158
00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,493
What are you doing, man?!

159
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,964
Looks like them boys are gettin' a little fresh air.

160
00:08:12,154 --> 00:08:13,095
I think we ditched them.

161
00:08:13,255 --> 00:08:14,649
I don't think we're outta the woods yet.

162
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:21,597
It's the police!

163
00:08:21,597 --> 00:08:22,554
That ain't no police!

164
00:08:28,566 --> 00:08:30,406
When do we get to eat. I'm hungry.

165
00:08:30,924 --> 00:08:31,231
Chef!!

166
00:08:44,832 --> 00:08:47,150
HA! God-damned aliens! I beat you!

167
00:08:48,598 --> 00:08:51,368
Where'd you learn to drive, aliens?! Chinese auto school?!

168
00:08:52,106 --> 00:08:53,668
Chef! Chef! They've got us!

169
00:08:53,669 --> 00:08:57,278
You're lucky I didn't just turn around and beat your white skinny alien asses anyway!

170
00:08:57,959 --> 00:08:59,301
Maybe next time you'll remember to...

171
00:09:00,053 --> 00:09:04,020
Huh? Aw crap! Children!

172
00:09:04,797 --> 00:09:06,721
Cheeeeeeef!

173
00:09:07,019 --> 00:09:09,981
Well, it looks like the boys are in more trouble than a June bug in molasses.

174
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:12,082
And it's pretty thick molasses, too.

175
00:09:15,425 --> 00:09:18,418
Uh. Wugh. You guys. Wake up!

176
00:09:19,608 --> 00:09:21,007
What the? Where are, where are we?

177
00:09:21,592 --> 00:09:22,891
We're in the alien ship.

178
00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:28,087
Ah. Uh! I'm trapped inside Helen Hunt's ass!
Oh God, help me you guys!

179
00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:30,116
It's not Helen Hunt's ass. It's an alien space ship.

180
00:09:31,289 --> 00:09:33,625
...Oh, thank God! Well then, thank you Lord.

181
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,241
Guys. Look.

182
00:09:42,684 --> 00:09:46,845
My God, do you guys realize?
This is only the second time
we've ever been in outer space.

183
00:09:48,285 --> 00:09:48,632
(Awesome)

184
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,629
This is like my fifth time.

185
00:09:56,606 --> 00:09:58,462
Uh oh. This must be the head alien guy.

186
00:09:58,497 --> 00:09:59,372
(Oh no!)

187
00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:02,680
Hello boys.

188
00:10:03,743 --> 00:10:04,503
Dad?

189
00:10:05,135 --> 00:10:09,317
No, not really. I just read your mind
and thought this form might
be more pleasing to you.

190
00:10:10,378 --> 00:10:11,854
Aw dude, don't do that. That's gay.

191
00:10:12,096 --> 00:10:13,568
Yeah, that's like that stupid movie, Contact.

192
00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:15,022
Aw God, that movie pissed me off.

193
00:10:15,587 --> 00:10:19,964
Very well, I shall show my true form.

194
00:10:20,018 --> 00:10:21,403
Okay okay, take the form of something else!

195
00:10:21,631 --> 00:10:22,558
How's this?

196
00:10:24,182 --> 00:10:25,092
Santa!

197
00:10:25,478 --> 00:10:26,286
Nno, that's stupid too.

198
00:10:26,287 --> 00:10:28,087
How about this?

199
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:29,777
No

200
00:10:31,496 --> 00:10:32,252
No!

201
00:10:34,064 --> 00:10:35,240
Oooo, very nice.

202
00:10:35,459 --> 00:10:36,294
No!

203
00:10:37,578 --> 00:10:38,157
No!

204
00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:40,353
Dy-no-mite!

205
00:10:40,354 --> 00:10:40,718
No!

206
00:10:43,755 --> 00:10:46,613
Jeff!! The aliens took the children up on their ship.

207
00:10:46,744 --> 00:10:47,700
Oh no!

208
00:10:47,701 --> 00:10:49,030
Did you find out what the aliens were up to?

209
00:10:49,328 --> 00:10:50,886
When I reversed the polarities, I found this:

210
00:10:52,871 --> 00:10:55,549
It's a message that the aliens
are broadcasting throughout
the entire universe.

211
00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:57,395
But I have no idea what it says.

212
00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:00,703
They took the children, Jeff!
I have to know what those aliens are up to!

213
00:11:01,109 --> 00:11:03,124
Wait a minute! Butt sex!

214
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:04,595
Butt sex?

215
00:11:05,018 --> 00:11:06,984
Butt sex requires a lot of lubrication, right?

216
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:13,160
Lubrication. Lubruh... Chupuh... Chupacabra 's the, the goat killer of Mexican folklore.

217
00:11:13,796 --> 00:11:18,323
Folklore is stories from the past that are often fictionalized.
Fictionalized to heighten drama.

218
00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:23,737
Drama students! Students at colleges usally have bicycles!
Bi, bian, binary. It's binary code!

219
00:11:25,027 --> 00:11:26,059
Who's havin' butt sex?

220
00:11:27,856 --> 00:11:31,009
Hello my honey, hello my baby, hello my ragtime gal!

221
00:11:32,336 --> 00:11:32,813
No!

222
00:11:33,962 --> 00:11:37,497
Lemme search ya, gonna work ya, hepsunudupunubuh huh.

223
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:38,157
No!

224
00:11:38,775 --> 00:11:40,640
Don't piss on the moon, babe.

225
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:41,285
NO!

226
00:11:41,412 --> 00:11:43,564
All right, earthlings, what form do you want me to take?

227
00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:48,385
How about a taco, that craps ice cream?

228
00:11:53,553 --> 00:11:54,219
Guys?

229
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,242
-I like it.
-(Me too.)

230
00:11:57,287 --> 00:12:01,103
All right, then we can get back to business.
Follow me this way, earthlings.

231
00:12:04,164 --> 00:12:07,542
I want to apologize to you boys for all the spooky, scary stuff.

232
00:12:07,757 --> 00:12:09,941
We just needed to get to the malfunctioning uplink relay.

233
00:12:10,107 --> 00:12:11,571
You mean, the thing in Cartman's ass?

234
00:12:11,907 --> 00:12:15,139
That's right. See, there are dishes in over fifty thousand earthlings' rectums.

235
00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:17,144
Your friend's has been malfunctioning.

236
00:12:17,244 --> 00:12:20,158
Why do you put them into people's asses?
Are you planning some kind of alien takeover?

237
00:12:20,158 --> 00:12:22,476
Oh, heavens no! We're a production company.

238
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,073
We make intergalactic television programs that the whole universe watches.

239
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:28,566
Television?

240
00:12:28,892 --> 00:12:32,546
"We at Nerzod Productions started twenty billion years ago with one philosophy:

241
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,983
the best universal television isn't scripted, it's real.

242
00:12:36,411 --> 00:12:40,798
We started with great shows like,
"Who Wants To Marry A Gelgamek?"
and "Antares 6 Millionaire".

243
00:12:41,288 --> 00:12:44,421
And then we had a big hit with
"Get Me Outta Here, I'm a Klingnanian".

244
00:12:54,258 --> 00:12:55,509
Earth?

245
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,393
A few billion years ago we realized,

246
00:12:57,962 --> 00:13:00,389
"what if we took species from all different planets in the universe,

247
00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:03,070
and put them together, on the same planet?"

248
00:13:03,262 --> 00:13:07,185
Great TV, right? Asians, bears, ducks, Jews, deer and Hispanics,

249
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:10,650
all trying to live side by side on one planet! It's great!"

250
00:13:11,365 --> 00:13:13,447
Our planet is just a reality-TV show?

251
00:13:13,448 --> 00:13:16,219
Well, you don't think the whole universe works the way Earth does, do you?

252
00:13:16,609 --> 00:13:21,012
No! One species, one planet!
There's a planet of deer,
a planet of Asians, and so on!

253
00:13:21,447 --> 00:13:24,524
We put them all together on Earth and the
whole universe tunes in to watch the fun!

254
00:13:26,092 --> 00:13:29,584
You mean that you aliens actually enjoy sitting around and watching us fight and kill each other?

255
00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:30,839
Dude, that's messed up.

256
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:31,504
Why?

257
00:13:31,631 --> 00:13:33,315
Why?? Because you're playing with people's lives!

258
00:13:33,316 --> 00:13:35,302
You're turning people's problems into entertainment!

259
00:13:35,632 --> 00:13:36,934
Yeah! We'd never do that on Earth!

260
00:13:41,057 --> 00:13:47,254
Ladies and Gentleman, we have recently
come across an alien transmission that is being
beamed throughout the entire universe.

261
00:13:49,568 --> 00:13:51,570
When decoded, it looks like this.

262
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,266
What does it mean?

263
00:14:05,648 --> 00:14:08,760
Ih it's simple mathematical language that can be understood throughout the solar system.

264
00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:12,328
Translated into our language, it looks like this.

265
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:16,633
This jannemon at eight o'clock, it's everyone's favorite show!

266
00:14:17,037 --> 00:14:20,732
Earth! It's been one hundred Gelganighs since we first took species from

267
00:14:20,733 --> 00:14:24,588
seventeen different planets and put them all together, on the same planet!

268
00:14:24,805 --> 00:14:29,511
Oo-derp! They've fought and fallen in love!
What will happen this Galgamog?

269
00:14:30,038 --> 00:14:34,394
Tune in jannemon at eight to find out. It's... Earth! On Fognl!

270
00:14:38,393 --> 00:14:44,533
I'm afraid that Earth, a-all of Earth, is nothing but an intergalactic reality-TV show.

271
00:14:47,659 --> 00:14:49,696
My God. We're famous!

272
00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:54,514
Waaaait, you don't understand!

273
00:14:54,663 --> 00:14:56,949
I'm on TV! I'm on TV!

274
00:14:58,016 --> 00:14:58,644
This is so awesome!

275
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,867
That should get the relay working again.

276
00:15:08,181 --> 00:15:11,808
All right, Earthlings, if you'll step over
this way we'll erase your memories
and get you back to Earth.

277
00:15:11,809 --> 00:15:19,156
Oh, excuse me. This is Nagix. Uh huh. Oh no. Oh no, really?

278
00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:26,336
And it's, it's for sure?
All right, I'll break the news to everyone.
No, no I, I understand. Thanks.

279
00:15:27,963 --> 00:15:29,637
Well, you kids can go back to Earth if you want,

280
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,221
but I'm afraid it won't be there for long. The show's been cancelled.

281
00:15:32,661 --> 00:15:34,204
What?? Who cancelled us?

282
00:15:34,204 --> 00:15:35,316
The universal network heads.

283
00:15:35,317 --> 00:15:38,259
They say the Earthlings have become aware
of the show, so it won't be fuinny anymore.

284
00:15:38,892 --> 00:15:40,014
Oh shit, did we do that?

285
00:15:40,014 --> 00:15:41,638
Everyone, can I have your attention real quick?

286
00:15:42,104 --> 00:15:45,619
Uuh, look, I just got a call from the network and I'm afraid Earth has been cancelled

287
00:15:47,152 --> 00:15:50,577
Now, now, it was a great run and I think we should all be really proud.

288
00:15:53,462 --> 00:15:55,905
Let's call in a demolition crew to strike the Earth for resources.

289
00:15:56,608 --> 00:15:59,307
Wait! Wait, they they can't do this! Uh,
let us talk to the network heads!

290
00:15:59,428 --> 00:16:00,254
Wouldn't do any good.

291
00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:01,507
Dude, we have to try!

292
00:16:01,876 --> 00:16:03,186
Please, take us to them! Please!

293
00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:05,403
All right, kids, we'll take you to the network heads.

294
00:16:05,802 --> 00:16:08,375
But I warn you: nobody has ever gotten the executives

295
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:12,176
to uncancel a show once the call has been made. Nobody.

296
00:16:35,884 --> 00:16:36,907
What the hell is that?!

297
00:16:37,135 --> 00:16:39,304
There's a huge ship of some kind in Earth's orbit!

298
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:42,993
But why? Wait a minute! Chaos theory!

299
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:44,371
Chaos theory??

300
00:16:44,522 --> 00:16:46,619
Chaos theory, ih wah, it was first thought of in the sixties.

301
00:16:47,363 --> 00:16:50,981
Sixty. That's the number of episodes they made
of Punky Brewster before it was cancelled.

302
00:16:51,795 --> 00:16:53,220
-Cancelled...
-Huh?

303
00:16:53,607 --> 00:16:57,220
Don't you see? The show is over!
The aliens are cancelling Earth!

304
00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,264
Oh my God! We have to stop them!

305
00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:07,527
Welcome to Planet Fognl, home of the Joozians,
who control all media in the universe.

306
00:17:11,179 --> 00:17:12,090
Can I help you?

307
00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:15,550
Oh, uh... we have a three o'clock meeting with the network heads?

308
00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:17,078
Where are you visiting from?

309
00:17:17,109 --> 00:17:18,171
Uh, Earth?

310
00:17:18,406 --> 00:17:20,675
Oooo, I watch that show all the time.

311
00:17:22,071 --> 00:17:25,420
Oh, sure, come on in, Earthlings.
We're just checking out our new show.

312
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,976
We took a hundred beings from the planet Marklar

313
00:17:28,294 --> 00:17:32,608
and put them on an asteroid with sentient beings from the Horsehead Nebula. Ih-it's a riot!

314
00:17:32,608 --> 00:17:33,724
They hate each other!

315
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,222
Gah, why?

316
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,008
Mighty powerful network executives,

317
00:17:39,543 --> 00:17:41,430
We have come a great distance in order to ha-

318
00:17:41,431 --> 00:17:43,649
Oooo, I'm starving! You Earthlings have haglar yet?

319
00:17:43,694 --> 00:17:45,046
Oh yeah, let's do haglar.

320
00:17:45,153 --> 00:17:46,409
Where do you wanna go? Meroni's?

321
00:17:46,424 --> 00:17:49,635
Not on a Flakmar. Too crowded. Ohhh, Blackafelch!

322
00:17:49,888 --> 00:17:51,497
Oh, Blackafelch. Perfect.

323
00:17:53,575 --> 00:17:54,702
This place is fantastic!

324
00:17:55,021 --> 00:17:56,915
Look, we just want to talk to you about the show.

325
00:17:57,130 --> 00:17:59,023
Please don't cancel us. Please.

326
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:02,537
Oh I'm sorry, Earthlings, but you have to realize the universe is a business.

327
00:18:03,093 --> 00:18:05,420
You've made it to a hundred episodes, you should be proud!

328
00:18:05,631 --> 00:18:07,759
Yeah, a show should never go past a hundred episodes,

329
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:12,315
or else it starts to get stale with ridiculously stupid plotlines and settings.

330
00:18:13,065 --> 00:18:16,126
Here's yoiur order of gespahtgaplachfenachenblah.

331
00:18:17,824 --> 00:18:20,026
But sirs, we think our show is just getting good.

332
00:18:20,454 --> 00:18:23,766
I mean, we're just now starting to see people get really pissed off at each other.

333
00:18:24,077 --> 00:18:25,445
Oh my God, this is great!

334
00:18:25,673 --> 00:18:27,650
You must have some Joozian ancestry.

335
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,763
Tell us about it!

336
00:18:28,823 --> 00:18:31,972
Look, there's five billion people on our show.
You just can't up and cancel on us.

337
00:18:32,306 --> 00:18:34,813
Oh my God! Would you look at the heglars on that joozinek?

338
00:18:35,099 --> 00:18:36,640
Dude, we're trying to save our planet here?!

339
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,322
Let's take the Earthlings to a hekmubah!

340
00:18:38,857 --> 00:18:39,226
Oh, yeah!

341
00:18:43,808 --> 00:18:45,181
Oh yeah, let's see those heglars!

342
00:18:46,027 --> 00:18:47,240
Sirs, uh, if you'll just let-

343
00:18:47,241 --> 00:18:48,811
Oh, man, I am so wasted!

344
00:18:49,637 --> 00:18:51,307
Hey, do you Earthlings wanna try a little glach?

345
00:18:57,154 --> 00:18:59,347
Agh-oh yeah!! Oh, gluck yeah!!

346
00:19:01,197 --> 00:19:01,967
Kenny!

347
00:19:02,304 --> 00:19:05,079
Meeh, screw this place! Let's go get a hotel room and a hooker!

348
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:06,088
Oh yeah!

349
00:19:06,173 --> 00:19:06,895
Yeah!

350
00:19:08,854 --> 00:19:10,588
We have to find a way to stop those aliens!

351
00:19:10,611 --> 00:19:14,626
Oh, their ship is massive!
There's no way to stop it!
Wait a minute, jackets!

352
00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:15,334
Oh no.

353
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,295
If people don't wear jackets they could get cold.

354
00:19:17,731 --> 00:19:18,907
A cold is caused by a virus.

355
00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:21,107
A viru- a computer virus!

356
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:24,874
We could make a computer virus and send
it to their ships to disable their computers!

357
00:19:26,692 --> 00:19:28,568
That doesn't make any God-damned sense!

358
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:38,390
Booyagh! Boy, Earthlings, is this a party or what??

359
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,041
Oh! Oh, that's it baby! You're getting my jagon hard!

360
00:19:42,527 --> 00:19:44,297
Wohh. Yeah, let's party!

361
00:19:45,509 --> 00:19:46,740
Yeah, suck my jagon!

362
00:19:47,047 --> 00:19:48,825
Yeah! Now you suck on my jagon!

363
00:19:49,668 --> 00:19:51,909
Oh yeah!! Stick your finger in my thrusher!

364
00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:54,069
Oh yeah, suck it. Suck that jagon!

365
00:19:55,246 --> 00:19:59,335
Dude, I have no idea what we're seeing right
now, but I have a feeling it's really, really wrong.

366
00:20:05,422 --> 00:20:09,554
Oh, God. Eh eh, my head. What did we do?

367
00:20:09,697 --> 00:20:12,338
Oh man, I can't believe I sucked your jagon.

368
00:20:13,274 --> 00:20:17,309
Oh God, we did suck each other's jagons!
You kids won't tell anybody about this, right??

369
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:18,046
No.

370
00:20:19,011 --> 00:20:21,931
No, wait. We won't tell anybody,
if you don't cancel our show!

371
00:20:22,491 --> 00:20:23,947
Oooo, I knew that was coming.

372
00:20:24,069 --> 00:20:25,610
They really got us by the nezmins

373
00:20:25,636 --> 00:20:29,743
The Earth show can still be good.
Just erase everyone's memory
so we don't know we're a show.

374
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:33,852
I'm sure you'll see that if you give our world time,
it will become even more outrageous and violent.

375
00:20:34,104 --> 00:20:35,999
There's even World War Three to look forward to.

376
00:20:36,142 --> 00:20:39,091
And then we won't have to show anybody
the picture Kenny has of you guys
sucking each other's jagons.

377
00:20:39,213 --> 00:20:43,653
He-all right, all right Earthlings!
Ya, you win! The show can stay on.

378
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:44,762
All right!

379
00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:47,392
Just be sure to keep up the wars and violence.

380
00:20:47,785 --> 00:20:51,671
Well, we've got a five o'clock with the Yurka producers. 
Nice meeting you Earthlings. Bye!

381
00:20:55,108 --> 00:20:56,961
Whoa Cartman. Looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.

382
00:20:57,155 --> 00:20:59,299
That's because I was having these bogus nightmares all night long.

383
00:21:00,064 --> 00:21:01,041
(Hey you guys, look.)

384
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:01,982
What the hell is that?

385
00:21:02,126 --> 00:21:02,762
(I don't know.)

386
00:21:03,611 --> 00:21:04,939
Hello there, children!

387
00:21:05,058 --> 00:21:05,681
Hey Chef.

388
00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:08,532
Chef, Kenny has a picture of two green things sucking each other's shoulders.

389
00:21:10,826 --> 00:21:11,686
What is it, Chef?

390
00:21:12,184 --> 00:21:15,650
I don't know. But something tells me
this picture might be very important, children.

391
00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:17,238
You should hang on to it.

392
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:23,366
Attention universe! Be sure to tune in next week for another exciting episode of... Earth!

393
00:21:23,404 --> 00:21:25,441
The Asians are reeeally steamed at the Russians.

394
00:21:25,843 --> 00:21:27,633
The zebras try to get along with the buffalo.

395
00:21:28,075 --> 00:21:30,768
And Americans and Iraqis have an all-out brawl.

396
00:21:31,073 --> 00:21:35,032
It's outrageous fun and it's all new! Earth!
On Fognl.