1
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:10,300
Thanks for having us all over
for dinner, chris and linda.
2
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:11,200
Yes, it was fabulous.
3
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,900
Oh, we're just really
happy that your boys
4
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,900
Have become such good friends
with our little butters.
5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000
Yeah, we figured that if our
boys are gonna be great friends
6
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,900
We should all get to
be friends too.
7
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,100
Friends by default.
8
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,000
Well, our boys do seem
to be spending
9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:24,900
A lot of time
together lately.
10
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,300
I think ever since
their friend kenny died
11
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,300
They've been looking for
someone to fill the void.
12
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,200
Well, our son is
a perfect void-Filler.
13
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,200
It's nice that he
finally has your sons
14
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,000
To be his best buddies.
15
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,900
Look, you guys,
butters is asleep.
16
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:38,700
He's such a douche bag.
17
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:40,100
Hey, you guys
ever seen this trick?
18
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,300
When someone's sleeping you can
take a glass of warm water.
19
00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:44,700
And you put
their hand in it.
20
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,100
Yeah, and then what?
21
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,100
And then you
pee on 'em.
22
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,600
Heh-Heh, heh-Heh.
23
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,000
No, dude, you're supposed to
put their hand in warm water
24
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,500
And it makes them pee.
25
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,400
Oh, really?
26
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,100
Oh, well.
27
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,600
And we were thinking
28
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:59,800
Since they've all become
such close friends
29
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,900
How great it would be for us
to all go together
30
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,500
To aspen for a ski weekend.
31
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:05,600
Aspen? We can't
really afford that.
32
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,500
No, you see, linda
and i found this ad
33
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,600
Where you can get two nights
free in a condo in aspen
34
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,200
If you attend a
time-Share presentation.
35
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,600
They let you
stay for free?
36
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,900
Yes, and all
we have to do
37
00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:19,000
Is attend a
30-Minute meeting.
38
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,800
Sounds good to me,
let's go this weekend.
39
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:24,600
Oh boy, skiing in aspen,
i can't wait.
40
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,700
Hey, boys, we're all going
to aspen for the weekend.
41
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,000
All right!
All right!
42
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,800
Wow, a ski trip with
my new best buddies!
43
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:35,100
Oh, i'm all sticky.
44
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,700
Here we are everyone.
45
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,300
Oh, this is gonna
be so much fun.
46
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,900
I haven't skied
in years.
47
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,400
Where are
butters and eric?
48
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,400
They're still asleep.
49
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,800
Butters, eric, come on,
we gotta get to the powder.
50
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,300
Hello, folks, i'm phil
and this is josh.
51
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,500
We're with the aspen
time-Share company.
52
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,700
Hello.
Hello.
53
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,300
You folks
enjoying the condo?
54
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,600
It's lovely,
thank you.
55
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,800
You guys, you guys.
56
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,400
You're not gonna believe this,
this is so funny.
57
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,100
What?
58
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,500
So last night while
butters was asleep
59
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,800
I gave him a "hitler".
60
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:37,700
What's a hitler?
61
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:38,900
You know, when
somebody's sleeping
62
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,200
You put your finger
up your butt
63
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,400
And then wipe it on
their upper lip
64
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,600
To give them a little
hitler mustache.
65
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,700
You've never
hitler'd anyone?
66
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,200
No, i never have.
67
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,300
Shh shh,
here he comes.
68
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,400
Good morning,
fellas!
69
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,400
All set to go skiing?
70
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,200
What's so funny?
71
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,100
Nothing, butters.
Right, guys?
72
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,000
Well, we can't
wait to show you
73
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,400
What aspen time-Share
is offering investors.
74
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,800
Shall we do our
30-Minute meeting?
75
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,100
Oh, do we have to
do it right now?
76
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,500
Well, best to do it and
get it out of the way.
77
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:05,500
Okay.
78
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:06,900
Boys, we have to
go to this
79
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,300
Time-Share presentation
real quick,
80
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:11,000
But you go meet your ski
instructor on the bunny hill.
81
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:11,700
Okay.
Okay.
82
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,300
We'll meet you boys
on the slopes.
83
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:16,000
Hey, do you guys
smell that?
84
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:16,700
Smell what?
85
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,600
It kind of smells
stinky in this condo.
86
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:23,200
I don't smell anything,
do you, guys?
87
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:33,600
You guys smell that?
88
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,100
It smells bad
out here too.
89
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,600
I'm starting to think this whole
town smells like doo-Doo.
90
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,200
Yeah, well, you see, that's
why they call it ass-Pen.
91
00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:43,200
All right,little dudes,
great to see you out here.
92
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,300
My name is thumper,
93
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,000
And i'm gonna be your
cool ski instructor.
94
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,100
His name is
thumper?
95
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,300
We're gonna take it slow,
take it easy,
96
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,400
Make sure everybody
has a good time.
97
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,200
'Cause what is
skiing about?
98
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,400
Having a good...?
99
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,500
Time, that's right.
100
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,300
Now just a few safety things
to keep in mind.
101
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,100
First of all, look straight
ahead when you ski.
102
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:03,700
If you look down
you're gonna fall.
103
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,100
You're gonna have
a bad time.
104
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,600
Also, be aware of
skiers around you.
105
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,000
If you run into another skier
your skis are gonna cross-
106
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,500
Gonna have a bad time.
107
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,700
So where's the part where
we have a good time?
108
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:14,800
Hey, little dude, you got
some crap right here.
109
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,100
That's my face, sir.
110
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,600
Okay, we're gonna do this
without any poles
111
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,000
Until we know our two
primary feet positions.
112
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,300
To go slow, we wedge
our skis together
113
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,300
In the shape of
a slice of pizza.
114
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,200
Then to go faster,
we put them parallel like...
115
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,400
French fries.
You see that?
116
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,200
Pizza, french fries...
117
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,800
Pizza,
french fries...
118
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,300
Hey, this is gonna be
just like eating at shakey's,
119
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,700
Huh, fellas?
120
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:41,900
Okay, let's have the little
dude at the end try it first.
121
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:42,900
What's your name?
122
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,200
Iiiike!
123
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,400
Okay, mike,
ski down to me.
124
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,000
Go on, ike.
125
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,800
Pizza, french fries...
126
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:58,100
Pizza, french fries,
french fries!
127
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,300
Pizza!
128
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,100
Okay, you see
what he did?
129
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,800
He french fried
when he should've pizza'd.
130
00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:09,100
You french fry when you pizza,
you're gonna have a bad time.
131
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,000
And so we think
we can convince you
132
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,300
To buy one of our condos
133
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:15,500
That's opening right here
in phase four.
134
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:19,100
That sounds like a great
investment opportunity.
135
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:20,800
I'm sorry, but none of us
can really afford
136
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:21,800
To own our own
vacation condo.
137
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,800
Yeah, to be honest,
138
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,900
We're just doing
this meeting
139
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,600
Because of the
two nights free deal.
140
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,200
Oh, i know, that's what
everybody says.
141
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,300
"Not me,
i can't afford it."
142
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,700
But what if i told you could
own one of our properties
143
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,800
For only $8,000.
144
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:34,700
Wow!
145
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,400
For $8,000 we can
buy a condo here?
146
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:39,000
Well, you see, time-Share
means you buy the condo
147
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,200
With about 20 other
people like yourselves.
148
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,400
You share the condo
with other investors
149
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,700
And pick the time
you want to stay.
150
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:48,000
Share, time...
time-Share!
151
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,100
So then it's
not really ours.
152
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,400
Sure it is, 1/24th-
And-A-Half yours.
153
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,100
You see, time-Share
has made it possible
154
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,700
For even working-Class
people like you
155
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:59,100
To say, "i've got
a little place in aspen."
156
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,700
Try, try saying it.
157
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,700
"I've got a little
place in aspen."
158
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,600
I've got a little place
in aspen.
159
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,300
Rolls off the tongue
nicely, doesn't it?
160
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,100
Say, guys, how you'd like to
tell that hot secretary,
161
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:10,500
"I've got a nice little
place in aspen."?
162
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,300
Ha ha ha!
Just kidding, wives.
163
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,400
Listen, ah,
it's been 30 minutes.
164
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,400
We'd like to go
hit the slopes now.
165
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,900
Well, you still gotta come
to the time-Share luncheon.
166
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,400
We did give you a free
condo for the weekend.
167
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,100
Your ad said we only had to
attend a 30-Minute meeting.
168
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,300
Right, but this
isn't that meeting.
169
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,100
The luncheon is
that meeting.
170
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:29,200
Don't worry, you're gonna
have a great free meal
171
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:29,400
At the luncheon.
172
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,300
French fries,
pizza.
173
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,600
French fries.
174
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:37,000
Come on, cartman!
175
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:37,700
Ah, no more.
176
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,200
Looks like you think you're a
pretty good skier, huh, kid?
177
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,000
Well, i'm catching on
pretty fast i guess.
178
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:45,500
I've been skiing
for 22 years.
179
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:46,500
Think you can beat me?
180
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,700
Ah, no.
181
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,400
What's your name,
hotshot?
182
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,500
Stan, marsh.
183
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,200
Stan darsh
is more like it.
184
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,300
Ha, darsh.
185
00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:58,800
All right,
how about a race then,
186
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,000
You and me?
187
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,300
Dude, i'm just
learning.
188
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,100
Ooh.
189
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,500
Looks to me like you're not
such a hotshot after all.
190
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,100
I never said i was.
191
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:11,000
Ooh!
192
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,200
Ooh.
Ooh.
193
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,700
You may think you got
what it takes
194
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,100
But as long as i'm around
you'll always be #2.
195
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:19,100
See you later, darsh.
196
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,200
And that is why owning
a piece of an aspen condo
197
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,200
Is not only possible...
198
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,100
It's downright smart.
199
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,200
Uh-Huh.
200
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,500
Oh, here it is,
as promised,
201
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,200
A fabulous free lunch.
202
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,700
Wow, filet mignon
and lobster.
203
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:39,700
Not bad.
204
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,400
It's nice to feel
rich, isn't it?
205
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,000
Oh, y'know, this
is really great.
206
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,300
It sure is.
207
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,900
What?
208
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,900
You see, that's the great
thing about time-Share.
209
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,900
You get a little taste of
luxuries you can't afford.
210
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,100
And then share it with the
people that come tomorrow.
211
00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:59,200
All right, look, we've been
here for over three hours.
212
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,200
Yeah, could we
go now, please?
213
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,100
Of course you can,
go hit those slopes.
214
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,000
If you could just please
show me the backs
215
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,700
Of your table
place cards real quick.
216
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,300
Oh my god,
you got the red sticker!
217
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,600
They got the
red sticker?
218
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,000
They got the
red sticker!
219
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,400
What's the
red sticker?
220
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,400
Well, that means if you come
up to the condo sales office
221
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,600
You'll receive one of
three great prizes.
222
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,300
No, no, no-
223
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,000
We did your meeting,
we did your lunch.
224
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,200
We're finished, okay?
225
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:23,600
Okay, okay,
fine, i mean.
226
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:26,500
It would only take a second,
but i mean, y'know,
227
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:27,400
What did we do for you
228
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,900
Except give you a free condo
for the weekend?
229
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,000
Seems like you could
just at least
230
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,900
Come up and see
what prize you got.
231
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:38,300
Oh, all right!
232
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,700
Pizza...
french fries...
233
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,200
French fries...
pizza...
234
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:48,800
Pizza, french fries.
235
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,700
I wonder where
our parents are.
236
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,600
Who cares? I'm having
more fun on my own.
237
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,600
Well, well, well,
if it isn't stan darsh.
238
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:00,600
Oh, no.
239
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,600
Say, darsh, you don't mind
if i take heather out
240
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,400
For some fondue
tonight, do you?
241
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,400
Heather?
242
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,600
Sorry, stan, it's just that
when it comes to skiing
243
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,000
Tad has all
the right moves.
244
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,300
I just might show her
my moves tonight,
245
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,300
If you know what i mean.
246
00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:15,000
You aren't mad,
are you, stan?
247
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,400
I mean, a girl's gotta look out
for her best interests.
248
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,900
Who are you people?
249
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:22,000
Still don't want
to race me?
250
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,900
I told you he was
chicken, heather.
251
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,400
Stan marsh the darsh.
252
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,900
All right, dude, if i race you
will you leave me alone?
253
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,600
Ooh!
Ooh!
254
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,000
All right, fine.
255
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,700
You and me
at the summit, now.
256
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,900
Okay.
257
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,900
Race, race!
Race, race!
258
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,900
Ladies and gentlemen,
259
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,700
Aspen now presents another
extreme racing showdown.
260
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,600
Seven-Time world aspen champion
tad mccowski
261
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:50,400
Versus eight-Year-Old
stan marsh.
262
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:54,200
Ha! You're going down,
little boy.
263
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:55,900
Yeah, probably.
264
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,000
Do you think
stan has a chance?
265
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,500
Go, stan!
266
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,200
Fries... fries.
267
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,900
He's got him,
tad's gonna win it!
268
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,400
Yeah! Yeah!
269
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,100
Yeah!
270
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:31,100
You lose, darsh.
271
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,900
Yeah!
272
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,600
Uh, stan, you gave it
your best shot.
273
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:40,200
And that's all
jesus asks of you.
274
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:43,300
Dude, i'm just happy this
whole stupid thing is over with.
275
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:46,300
No hard feelings,
right, darsh?
276
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,900
Yeah!
277
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,800
Stan, for whatever
it's worth,
278
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,700
I think you were
really brave.
279
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:56,700
Thanks, who are you?
280
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,300
Hey, all the cool teens
are gonna be
281
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,300
At the youth center
tonight for a dance.
282
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,300
I hope you'll come
because you're just so...
283
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,300
Well, you're just so-
Well, that's all.
284
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,600
Finally, we get
to go skiing.
285
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,900
Oh my god, look how long
the lift lines are.
286
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,000
Yeah, i guess these passes
the time-Share salesmen gave us
287
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,200
Will come in handy.
288
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,200
Can i help you?
289
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:18,500
Yes, we have
the special passes
290
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,600
To use the exclusive lift
from the time-Share company.
291
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:22,900
Oh, go right on
ahead, folks.
292
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,200
Thank you.
293
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,700
Well, this
certainly is nice.
294
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,300
Yeah, we may not have
gotten to ski earlier,
295
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,600
But with this lift we'll get
more runs in than anybody.
296
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:35,000
Have fun waiting
in line, suckers!
297
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000
Oh, chris.
298
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,400
Heh-Heh,
heh, heh...
299
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,000
Hey look, this chairlift
goes right into a building.
300
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,300
Welcome back, folks.
301
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,000
We've got a special new offer
we can't wait to tell you about.
302
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,500
Oh, god damn it!
303
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:51,400
Dude, it's been 12 hours.
304
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,100
Where the hell
are our parents?
305
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,100
I'm glad you guys came.
306
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:58,900
Do you like our
youth center?
307
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,000
Seems fine.
308
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,400
Yeah, too bad we're
getting shut down.
309
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:06,100
That hotshot skier tad's father
is gonna bulldoze the building.
310
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,700
Where are all us kids
supposed to go?
311
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:08,900
Don't care.
312
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:13,300
What do you
wanna do now?
313
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,700
I don't know.
314
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,000
Let's dance.
315
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:24,300
Butters, i hate you with
every inch of my body.
316
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,500
All right, aspen,
as a special treat tonight
317
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,700
We're proud to have
the winner of today's race,
318
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,800
Tad mccowski!
319
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,100
Yeah!
320
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:33,400
Oh god.
321
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:34,300
Hey, everyone.
322
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,500
I'd like to sing
a little song if i may.
323
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:37,600
Ooh.
Ooh.
324
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,100
Oh god,
let's go, you guys.
325
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:43,700
This is a song i wrote
about... stan marsh.
326
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,700
* staaan darsh *
327
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,700
* stan darsh
darshy darsh *
328
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:53,100
* stan darsh
329
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,000
* stan darsh
stan darsh *
330
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,500
* stan darsh, darsh
331
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,100
* stan darsh *
332
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,700
Dude, what the hell
is your problem?
333
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,500
Ooh!
Ooh!
334
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:05,600
I raced you, you won.
335
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,100
A rematch?
336
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:11,600
Oh, darsh, you're even
dumber than i thought.
337
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,600
He'll ski you
anytime, anywhere.
338
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,500
Yeah!
Yeah!
339
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:16,800
But this time
if he wins
340
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,200
You get your dad to not
close our youth center.
341
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,100
What?
342
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,100
All right then,
let's make it interesting.
343
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:26,300
Tomorrow afternoon,
on the k-13.
344
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,800
The k-13?
345
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:32,400
But that's the most dangerous
run in all of america.
346
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,000
Well, i'm not chicken.
347
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,300
Are you, darsh?
348
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,700
I'll be there,
you queen.
349
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:41,600
Oh yeah?
350
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:42,500
Yeah!
351
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:47,100
Oh, darsh, you're even dumber
than i thought, again.
352
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,700
See ya tomorrow.
353
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,300
You're not really
gonna go down that
354
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,800
K-13 run,
are you, stan?
355
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,700
Dude, i have to.
356
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,000
Stan, you can't let that
tad guy get to you.
357
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,100
Screw him, dude.
358
00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:58,800
Dude,
he's got heather!
359
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:00,200
You don't even
know heather!
360
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,600
I know, i know, it's-
361
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,100
Look, i can't explain it
but i have to do this.
362
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,800
I'm not gonna die, i mean,
how bad can the k-13 be?
363
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,800
The k-13? You don't
wanna go down that run.
364
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,100
That run's got a history.
365
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,500
35 people have died
going down it,
366
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,100
And some say you can still
see their ghosts up there.
367
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,100
It was on that
very ski run
368
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,400
That a group of students were
killed by a wolf boy
369
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,400
Who escaped from
the mental institution.
370
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,700
You see, that ski run
was once a burial ground
371
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,300
To a tribe of
vampire wichika indians
372
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,100
Who ate the flesh of
children with no eyes.
373
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,400
Yup, a lot of history
on that ski run.
374
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:31,600
Thank you.
375
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,600
Yeah.
376
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,600
Look, stan,
when kenny died
377
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,200
I learned how important
friends are.
378
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,700
I'm not gonna
lose another friend.
379
00:14:37,700 --> 00:14:38,600
This isn't about you, kyle,
380
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:41,000
I have to do this, okay,
i have to!
381
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,600
And so you see, it's the
investment opportunity
382
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:49,600
That keeps on giving.
383
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:52,000
How many times do we
have to tell you this?
384
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,200
We don't want to buy
shares in a condo.
385
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:56,400
And we certainly don't
want to pressure you.
386
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,100
Pressure us? You kept us
all day yesterday
387
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,700
And then had a chairlift
bring us back.
388
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,400
Hey, you can leave
any time you want.
389
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,100
Of course, that is if
you don't want the
390
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,500
Super-Secret fun prize for
attending the slide show.
391
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,100
No, we don't want the super-
Secret fun prize, all right?
392
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,600
We just want to ski!
393
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,000
Come on, everybody.
394
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000
I know, have you ever considered
going in on a time-Share?
395
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,300
That's only a couple
thousand each, josh.
396
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:16,500
Don't listen to him,
let's just go.
397
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,500
My god, can you believe
those people?
398
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,400
I hope you don't
blame me for all that.
399
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,200
I mean, the ad did just say
a 30-Minute presentation.
400
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,200
Let's just
get out of here.
401
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,000
Folks, i'm glad
you're back
402
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,200
Because we forgot
to mention
403
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,000
Time-Share condos are
still deeded properties.
404
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,900
Ahh!
Ahh!
405
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,800
Ooh, you folks really
lucked out this time.
406
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,500
You're visitors #1,000.
407
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,800
That means you can listen
to our special offer
408
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,200
For privileged members only.
409
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,400
That does it,
i'm calling the police.
410
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,200
Mr. Ski instructor,
i need a lot of training fast.
411
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,300
I'm gonna race down the k-13.
412
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,500
The k-13, but you're
just a beginner.
413
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,900
If you ski out of your league,
you're gonna have a bad time.
414
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,300
I have to do this, okay,
i have to.
415
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,600
All right, well,
if you gotta get good
416
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,600
At something really fast,
there's only one way to do it.
417
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:05,800
Come on!
418
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,900
* the day is
approaching *
419
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,300
* so give it your best
420
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,400
* and you've got to
reach your prime *
421
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,400
* that's when you need to put
yourself to the test *
422
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,200
* and show us
a passage of time *
423
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:28,800
* we're gonna need
a montage *
424
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,200
* a sports-Training montage
425
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:34,800
* show a lot of things
happening at once *
426
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:37,200
* remind everyone
of what's going on *
427
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:40,400
* and with every shot
show a little improvement *
428
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:44,200
* to show it all
would take too long *
429
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,600
* that's called a montage
430
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,800
* even "rocky"
had a montage *
431
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:54,000
* in any sport
if you want to go *
432
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,100
* from just a beginner
to a pro *
433
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,000
* you need a montage
434
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:04,000
* a simple
little montage *
435
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:09,400
* always fade out
in a montage *
436
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,400
* if you fade out it seems
like more time has passed *
437
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,800
* in a montage
438
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,100
* montage... *
439
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,700
All the ad said
440
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,500
Was that we had to attend
a 30-Minute, right?
441
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,600
And it's been
a day-And-A-Half.
442
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,500
These guys
won't let us leave.
443
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,800
That's not true, officers,
444
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,000
We said they could
leave at any time.
445
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,700
All right, let me see if
i got this straight.
446
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,800
You two gentlemen
are offering part-Time
447
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:39,000
Limited liability ownership
in one of your fabulous condos
448
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,200
For the one-Time price
of $8,000?!
449
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:42,700
That's right!
450
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:44,200
Sounds to me like if anybody
should be arrested,
451
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:47,400
It should be you people for
passing up such a great deal.
452
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,600
That's right,
453
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,400
You're practically stealing
condos at that price.
454
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,300
Book 'em, danno.
455
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,100
Oh, jesus.
456
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,200
No, no!
457
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:57,600
The police work for
time-Share too?
458
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:02,700
The police, the mayor, the
president of the united states.
459
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:06,200
Perhaps now you see the
severity of your situation.
460
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,600
I think we shall all sit down
461
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,000
And listen to
the presentation.
462
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,100
Sit!
463
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:17,800
Now, you're probably
asking yourselves,
464
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:21,100
Can my time-Share condo
turn into a profit?
465
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,300
What kind of cash flow can i
realize from my investment?
466
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,600
The answer might
astonish you.
467
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,400
For over 10 years,
investors have seen their-
468
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,000
The powder is fresh
and the stage is set
469
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:33,900
For tad versus stan
on the k-13.
470
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,400
This time you're not
just gonna lose,
471
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,100
You're gonna die.
472
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,400
I can't lose
another friend.
473
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,800
First kenny
and now stan.
474
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,800
All i'm gonna have left
are you two douches.
475
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,100
Ready, set, go!
476
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,000
Pizza, pizza, pizza.
477
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,300
Tad's got the lead.
478
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,500
Come on, stan!
479
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,000
Ha ha!
480
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,800
This should slow down
darsh a bit.
481
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:08,100
And it looks like tad
is way out in front.
482
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:11,000
Now i'll win for sure.
483
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,000
Oh dude,
i can't look.
484
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,600
Let's see what some sand
does to your speed, darsh.
485
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:28,600
He doesn't
stand a chance now.
486
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,700
I'm gonna beat him!
487
00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:35,700
The race is half over and
tad is still out in the lead.
488
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:42,200
Ha, when darsh skis by here
i'll let all these hamsters go.
489
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:43,000
That should distract him
just long enough
490
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:46,100
For me to win
the race!
491
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,000
Oh, tad.
492
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,700
What are you
doing up here?
493
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,000
Oh, nothing.
494
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:55,100
I just thought maybe i could
distract you with these.
495
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,600
Whuu... uhh,
whoa...
496
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,800
Good job, dude!
497
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,500
Thanks.
498
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:12,900
You did it, stan.
499
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,100
Thanks a lot, stan.
500
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,400
Now we're gonna be able
to keep the youth center.
501
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:23,200
Well, that does it.
502
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,900
Looks like the spirits
of the wakichaw indians
503
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:28,200
Can finally
rest in peace.
504
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,300
Thank you... stan.
505
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,100
Stan, i was
wrong about you.
506
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,000
Would you like to
go out again?
507
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,600
Go ahead, stan, she's
everything you ever wanted.
508
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,400
There you are,
boys.
509
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,000
Mom, dad.
510
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,300
Where the hell
have you guys been?
511
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,800
We got a little held up at the
time-Share sales office.
512
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,200
Yeah, but the good news is we
finally came to our senses
513
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,000
And brought some shares
in a condo.
514
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,500
So we all get to come to aspen
for two weeks every year.
515
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,400
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
516
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:56,800
What's the matter,
didn't you boys like skiing?
517
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,300
No, we can't keep track
of when you pizza
518
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,500
And when you french fries.
519
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,700
And when the hotshot asshole
skier takes your girl,
520
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,000
If you're supposed to
race him the first time,
521
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:05,800
Or train first to beat him on
the really difficult mountain
522
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,400
So you can save the dorky,
but hot girl's youth center.
523
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,400
Skiing sucks!
524
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,200
Yeah, what a stupid sport.
525
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,800
I heard that you were
the one responsible
526
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,300
For making tad
lose the race.
527
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,900
Thanks.
528
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,600
Yeah, well, he really flipped
when he saw these.
529
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:25,300
Quaid...
530
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:29,100
Start the reactor.
531
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,700
* talking away *
532
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,700
* i don't know
what i'm to say *
533
00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:40,600
* i'll say it anyway
534
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,000
* today's another day
to find you *
535
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,300
* shying away
536
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:49,500
* i'll be coming
for your love, okay *
537
00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,800
* take... on- *