1
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,100
* i'm going down
to south park *
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,600
* gonna have
myself a time *
3
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,100
* friendly faces
everywhere *
4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,700
* humble folks
without temptation *
5
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,500
* going down
to south park *
6
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,100
* gonna leave my
woes behind *
7
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,700
* ample parking
day or night *
8
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,500
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *
9
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,100
* headin' on up
to south park *
10
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,700
* gonna see
if i can't unwind *
11
00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:28,200
* tim-Tmah tim-Mah,
tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah *
12
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,800
* so come on down
to south park *
13
00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:31,500
* and meet some
friends of mine *
14
00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:37,400
Shut up, you guys.
Shut up.
15
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,000
Hello, "chitty wok",
take order, please.
16
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,800
Hello, is this
city wok?
17
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,500
Yes, this chitty wok.
18
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,300
Yes, we'd like one
order of the city beef.
19
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,600
Chitty beef.
20
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:52,200
And i'll have
the city chicken.
21
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,800
Chitty chicken.
22
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,900
Oh dude, look, it's that
commercial with the guy
23
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:01,200
Who lost 400 pounds eating
at subway sandwiches.
24
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,000
* he's still looking good
25
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:07,900
* his name is jared
26
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:10,500
* and he likes to
eat the sandwiches *
27
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:11,700
Well,
hey, fellas.
28
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:12,500
Hey, kenny.
29
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,100
Now gosh darn it,
my name's not kenny.
30
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,800
Kenny's dead,
31
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,800
And you're all gonna have to
learn to deal with that.
32
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,000
Okay, not-Kenny.
33
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,200
Hey south park!
34
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,600
You can meet jared,
in person, march 6th,
35
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,000
At the kenny mccormack
memorial town square.
36
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,000
Oh boy, jared's
coming to town.
37
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,300
Dude, that's today!
38
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,700
We gotta get
down there.
39
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:30,500
Come on,
not-Kenny.
40
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,500
Now gosh darn it,
my name's not not-Kenny.
41
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,200
Okay, come on,
not-Not-Kenny.
42
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,800
I'm getting steamed now.
43
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:38,800
Ohh, chitty wok,
chitty wok!
44
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:40,400
I take order, please.
45
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,500
Excuse me, can we
get through here?
46
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,500
Hell no, i've been saving
this spot for six hours.
47
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,700
* his name is garrison
mr. Garrison *
48
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,000
* he lost 10 pounds
taking jared's lead *
49
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,900
Here he comes!
50
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:58,300
* he's still looking good
with all those sandwiches *
51
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:03,400
Thank you all so much.
52
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,500
Y'know, after a year of eating
delicious sub sandwiches
53
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:10,200
I've proven
weight loss is easy.
54
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,500
And i promise you,
55
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,700
I will always be your faithful
leader in easy weight loss.
56
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:15,800
All right!
57
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:18,800
That guy ate all the sandwiches
he wanted and lost weight.
58
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,500
He is so cool.
59
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,400
Mr. Fogle, some fans
wanted to see
60
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,100
If you'd sign
their sandwich.
61
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,000
Sure, let them in.
62
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,500
Hi, kids.
63
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:29,900
Wow, jared.
64
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,300
Dude, did you really
lose all that weight
65
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,000
Eating nothing but
sub sandwiches?
66
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,100
I sure did.
67
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:36,800
Well, i also had a little
help on the side.
68
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:37,800
What kind of help?
69
00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,200
Well, eating sub sandwiches
was a big part of it.
70
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,200
But the way that i lost
so much weight
71
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,500
Was that i got aides.
72
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,400
A- Aids?
73
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,500
That's right, i got aides
about two years ago
74
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,100
And i've been losing weight
ever since.
75
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,600
It's amazing how slim
you can get with aides.
76
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:53,300
I'll bet you can.
77
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,100
Would you like to
meet them?
78
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,300
Them?
79
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,200
My aides.
Scott, tyler!
80
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:01,200
Scott is my personal trainer
and tyler is my dietitian.
81
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,200
Hello!Hello!
82
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,300
Oh!
A- I-D-E-S, aides.
83
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,300
Yeah, hooray
for aides!
84
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,400
Well, that's not really what
you say in the commercial.
85
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,000
I know, you kind of have to
read the fine print
86
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,300
At the bottom
of the screen.
87
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:12,700
It says i only ate a half-Size
lean turkey sandwich
88
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:15,000
With no mustard or mayo
or anything like that.
89
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,400
And then had proper
diet and exercise aides.
90
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,600
But you're
lying to people.
91
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,000
If they knew that
you didn't just
92
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,300
Eat all the sandwiches
you want,
93
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,400
You might not
be so popular.
94
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,700
You think so?
Why should it matter?
95
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:27,400
It matters, dude.
96
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,500
Hmm.
97
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,700
That penis-Butt didn't lose
weight eating sub sandwiches.
98
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:32,400
He lost weight because he ate
less of them and exercised.
99
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,100
Yeah, it's only in america
somebody can become famous
100
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,100
Just because they go from
being a big fat-Ass
101
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:36,900
To not being a big fat-Ass.
102
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,200
Oh my god,
you guys-
103
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,700
I think i'm having
a genius moment.
104
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,200
Yes, yes,
it's coming to me now.
105
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,500
Is that-
That's diarrhea.
106
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:46,800
No- Don't you see
what this all means?
107
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,200
Anybody could do
what he did.
108
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,800
What's to stop someone else
from going to say, city wok,
109
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,100
And cutting
a deal with them?
110
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,700
Say they'll eat nothing
but their chinese food,
111
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:57,100
But then eat only a little tiny
bit of it and exercise.
112
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,500
Then city wok could say their
food makes you lose weight.
113
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,900
That's right, stan,
it's a cash cow, i tell you.
114
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,100
That's a great idea!
115
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,400
Lose weight
and make money.
116
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,800
I tell you, this is gonna
be the greatest thing
117
00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:08,600
That butters
has ever done.
118
00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:09,600
Me?
119
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,000
Who do you think i'm
talking about, butters,
120
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:12,000
Joyce dewitt?
121
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,500
Oh, no, i thought
you meant you.
122
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,200
You're the fat one.
123
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,200
I can't lose
weight, butters,
124
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,000
Because i'm not fat,
i'm big boned.
125
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:18,800
You can't slim down
bones, stupid.
126
00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:20,000
But butters
isn't fat.
127
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,400
That's my
whole point.
128
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,800
First, we fatten him up.
129
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,400
Then we make the deal
with city wok.
130
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:25,900
Then, take the weight
back off.
131
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,700
He's right- If butters
is naturally skinny,
132
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,400
He'll be able to take
the weight off faster.
133
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,200
But fellas,
134
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,600
If i get fat my parents
will ground me.
135
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:32,700
Oh, come on, just think about
how famous you'll be.
136
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,400
You mean like jared?
137
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,000
Sure, dude, you'll
be just like jared.
138
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,100
Well,
the heck with that,
139
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,200
You said jared
was a penis-Butt.
140
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:38,900
You wouldn't be
a penis-Butt, butters,
141
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:41,100
You'd be famous.
142
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,700
Just think about all those
people following you around,
143
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,400
Singing songs to you just
'cause you lost some weight.
144
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,900
* his name is butters
it's butters *
145
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,400
* used to be fat
but not no more *
146
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,900
* city wok brought him down
to a size four *
147
00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:52,600
* now he's got lots of
moneys and girls *
148
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,300
* and a lifetime of
free food at city wok *
149
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,300
Wow.
150
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,900
Christine, you know
i love you very much
151
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,900
And i can't wait
for the wedding.
152
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,100
I love you too, jared.
153
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,300
You changed
my whole life.
154
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,800
* her name is donez
christine donez *
155
00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,700
* she lost 40 pounds when
she met jared and- *
156
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,900
I know, i know.
157
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,600
But, ah, some young boys
were talking to me earlier
158
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:14,300
And they made me think that
people might not be so proud
159
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,700
Of my weight loss
if they knew something.
160
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,500
Jared, what's this
all about?
161
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,400
Christine, this probably isn't
gonna matter to you at all,
162
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,200
But i have aides.
163
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,300
What?
164
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,200
Yeah, i have aides.
165
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:28,400
I've had aides since
before we were together.
166
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:31,400
What, what are you thinking,
are you bummed?
167
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:32,900
Am i bummed?
168
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,000
You've had aids all this time
and you knew it?
169
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:36,000
Well, of course
i knew it.
170
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,700
Why the hell
wouldn't you tell me?
171
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,200
I didn't think it was
that big of a deal.
172
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,600
Not that big
of a deal?!
173
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:41,900
I slept with you!
174
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,200
Aren't you overreacting
a little bit?
175
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,100
But jesus christ, we're
supposed to get married.
176
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,500
We can still
get married, christine.
177
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:47,700
I mean, sure,
they're my aides now,
178
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,800
But after we get married,
they'll be our aides.
179
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,300
You'll love having aides,
christine, you really will.
180
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,200
And when we have children,
they'll have aides.
181
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,700
It will make things
so simple.
182
00:05:58,900 --> 00:05:59,700
Christine!
183
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,100
Jeez, those boys
were right.
184
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,000
People really don't
like aides.
185
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,900
I better tell everyone
the truth.
186
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,500
Hello there,
children.
187
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,800
Chef, we need butters to
gain about 50 pounds, fast.
188
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,500
50 pounds, why?
189
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,000
Ah, school project.
190
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,300
Well, if you want him to get
really fat as fast as possible,
191
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,500
One of you will
have to marry him.
192
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,400
Marry him?
193
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,600
It definitely worked for
every woman i ever met.
194
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,100
Oh, no no no-
I ain't getting married,
195
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,100
My parents will ground me.
196
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,000
Yeah, none of us
want to marry butters.
197
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,600
How come,
what's wrong with me?
198
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,800
Well, i guess we oughtta
do this the old fashion way.
199
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,000
Come on back, children.
200
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:38,500
I can't eat no more.
201
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,700
You have to.
202
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,300
Here, have some more
mayonnaise.
203
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,200
Chef, we need
more food.
204
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,800
I'm running out,
children.
205
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,300
Damn it, butters,
keep eating
206
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,700
Or else i'll kick your ass 'til
you're deader than kenny!
207
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,800
Dude, that isn't cool.
208
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:52,400
You shouldn't joke about
kenny being dead.
209
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,200
Enough time hasn't passed.
210
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:54,600
So how long until
we can joke about it?
211
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,900
22.3 years.
212
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,600
That's how long it takes for
something tragic to be funny.
213
00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:58,600
That's a long time
to wait.
214
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,800
I can't eat no more.
215
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,200
I just keep
puking it up.
216
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:03,500
Then eat your puke.
217
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,500
No!
218
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,900
Oh, come on,
japanese girls do it.
219
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,300
Ladies and gentlemen, we at
subway are happy to inform you
220
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:15,100
That jared has elected
to stay in south park
221
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,800
In order to speak to you
once again!
222
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,500
He's going to speak
to us once again.
223
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,900
So here he is...
jared!
224
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,200
* he's still looking good *
225
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:29,700
* eating them sandwiches
all the time *
226
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,300
Thank you,
thank you all.
227
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:35,600
Subway is a healthy way to eat
fast food and lose weight!
228
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:36,900
All right!
229
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,800
But, i feel like
i need to
230
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,800
Come a little clean
about something.
231
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:44,500
It wasn't just subway sandwiches
that made me thin.
232
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,500
Huh?
233
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,500
The reason why i was able to
lose so much weight, so quickly,
234
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:52,500
Was that i got aides.
235
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:55,400
Did he say aids?
236
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,400
But i still want to be the
leader in a thinner america,
237
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,800
And so i'm here to tell you
238
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,600
That you should all go out
and get aides!
239
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,600
Oh my god.
240
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,900
Is he serious?
241
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,200
Having aides
is awesome!
242
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:08,400
With aides you can literally
watch the fat melt away.
243
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:11,600
And with the proper mix of
aides and subway sandwiches
244
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,800
Anything is possible.
245
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,100
Ah, the opinions
expressed by mr. Fogle
246
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,000
Are not necessarily those
of the subway company.
247
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,400
Wow!
He looks great.
248
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,500
How do you feel,
butters?
249
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:27,400
Well, kind of
like cartman.
250
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,400
Ow!
251
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,500
Get a hold of
yourself, man.
252
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,700
All right, now it's
time for phase two.
253
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:35,800
Welcome to chitty wok.
254
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,900
Would you like to try
chitty chicken today?
255
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,300
Sir, we have come
to offer you
256
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,700
The business deal
of a lifetime.
257
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,800
You want the
chitty beef?
258
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,100
No, we want to show the world
how healthy your food is.
259
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:47,100
Our fat friend here is
going to lose 40 pounds
260
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,000
Eating at chitty wok.
261
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,100
Which one?
I see two fat friend.
262
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,400
The fat one.
263
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,900
We're gonna take
before-And-After photos.
264
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,400
And then when he gets skinny
from eating your food
265
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,900
We'll show the world.
266
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,600
Why?
267
00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:58,700
Because then
you can pay us
268
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,600
To use our friend
in commercials.
269
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,600
Oh, you mean
like jared?
270
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:03,700
Just like jared.
271
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,900
* his name is jared
he lose some weight *
272
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,400
* chitty wok food
sure is great *
273
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,700
Yeah, okay,
that sound good.
274
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,600
So if he lose weight
eating chitty wok
275
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,500
I pay you to use him
in commercial.
276
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,500
All right!
All right!
277
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,600
Sir, we are
in business.
278
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,800
Jared, first of all
279
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,600
We want to say that
all of us here at subway
280
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,800
Appreciate everything
you've done for our company.
281
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,000
Well, i appreciate your
company doing everything
282
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:25,700
It's done for me.
283
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,100
Yes, well, it is
now the opinion
284
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,300
Of all of us that perhaps
it would be best for you
285
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,800
To take your...
286
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:35,300
Strange theories
on weight loss elsewhere.
287
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:39,100
Excuse me...
am i being fired?
288
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,700
Jared, it's just that your
new take on weight loss
289
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,200
Is contrary to our
commitment to good health.
290
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,200
How so?
291
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,400
Well, your new slogan
for instance.
292
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,600
"When it comes to fitness
293
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:53,300
Subway goes hand in hand
with aides."
294
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,800
Uh-Huh.
295
00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:02,100
* his name is jared
he's jared, lost weight *
296
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:04,100
* eating subway
297
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,300
* now he's
cold and alone *
298
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,300
* no one to
call his home *
299
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,200
* he likes sandwiches
in philadelphia *
300
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,900
* with cream cheese *
301
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,600
Come on, butters you gotta
get skinny again!
302
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,300
You are such a flabby
hunk of crap!
303
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,100
Look at those
jelly rolls.
304
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,800
Jelly rolls,
i tell ya!
305
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,400
You still got
seven chins, boy!
306
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,500
You'll never be thin.
Nobody loves you!
307
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,500
Hey now, they do, too.
308
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,100
My mom and dad love me
even if i am fat.
309
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,400
Butters, i'm just
trying to offer
310
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,900
Some motivational
help here.
311
00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:32,000
All right then.
312
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:32,700
Row, you fat bitch!
313
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,300
Look at them
jelly rolls!
314
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,400
Nobody loves you!
315
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,500
You're not even
a person!
316
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,600
I never asked
to be famous.
317
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,900
Now everyone hates me.
318
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,400
I almost wish i'd never
gotten aides!
319
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,700
Hey, now come on.
320
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,400
What kind of
talk is that?
321
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,700
I'm sorry, guys,
322
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,200
But i think i want to be
aides-Free for a while.
323
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:51,500
Come on, jared,
lighten up.
324
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:52,400
People don't hate you.
325
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,200
Yeah, maybe they're
all just jealous
326
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,400
That they can't afford to
hire their own aides.
327
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,200
Wait a minute,
you're right.
328
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,600
Yeah!
329
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,200
I think i know how to be
a celebrity again.
330
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,200
Did you bring
the camera?
331
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,700
Yeah, we're all set.
332
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,200
Guys, i think this might be a
good time to discuss business.
333
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,900
What do you mean?
334
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,500
Well, when city wok sees
how skinny butters is
335
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,500
They're not gonna want him
to just make one commercial,
336
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:14,800
They're gonna
want several.
337
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,200
That's true, jared did like
100 for subway sandwiches.
338
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,300
I think we're looking at
a nonexclusive
339
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,400
Two-Year, 50-Picture
deal here.
340
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,000
My calculations put that at
about $4 million.
341
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,100
Wow!
342
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,000
Now, i think
the four million
343
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,000
Should be split evenly
among the three of us.
344
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000
Except that i should get
a 20% per negation fee
345
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000
Off the gross for having
come up with the idea.
346
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:31,700
Hey, fellas.
347
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:32,500
Butters, what the hell
are you doing?!
348
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,000
Yeah, you're still fat!
349
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,200
I know, i can't
seem to lose it.
350
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,200
But we're supposed to shoot your
commercial for city wok today,
351
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,500
You fat piece of crap!
352
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,400
Well, i don't know
what to tell you.
353
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,500
Losing weight is harder
than putting it on.
354
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,900
No, it isn't,
stupid blubber butt!
355
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,000
Did you eat only one ounce
of city wok a day
356
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:46,700
Like we told you?
357
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,700
Well, yeah, but
i don't know.
358
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,700
Why are you
doing this to us?
359
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,000
All prepared for
liposuction surgery.
360
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:54,000
Check.
361
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:55,400
I don't know
about this, fellas.
362
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,700
Hey, you're the one
that screwed us
363
00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,000
By not losing weight,
butters.
364
00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,800
Okay, it says here
the operation begins
365
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,900
With a one-Inch incision
in the abdomen
366
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:03,900
On the left side
just above the hip.
367
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,200
So that's,
right about here.
368
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,300
Whoa!
369
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,500
Stop your bitching,
butters!
370
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:09,500
God, kenny would've
took it like a man!
371
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,200
Okay now, put
one end of the tube
372
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,900
A half an inch
into the incision.
373
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,300
Alrighty.
374
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,300
Whoa, i think this is
a bad idea, fellas.
375
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,400
I feel woozy.
376
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,400
I think it's in.
377
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,200
The liposuction
is a process
378
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,900
Of siphoning out
the excess fat.
379
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,000
There it goes.
380
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,900
All right,
it's working.
381
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,800
Oh man, it taste like that
creamed chip beef stuff
382
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,000
That chef makes sometimes.
383
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,800
Uh, fellas, i don't
feel very good.
384
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:39,600
Shut up, butters, this is
your own damn fault.
385
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,400
Everything's
getting dark.
386
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,200
We gotta
hurry this up.
387
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,200
Yeah, keep doing that,
that's working good.
388
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,700
He's losing weight.
389
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:47,100
Whoa, whoa!
390
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,100
He's out of control!
391
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,400
Everything's
getting sparkly.
392
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,100
Oh no, dude, butters'
parents are home.
393
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,000
Oh crap!
394
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,800
Dude, bail!
395
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,500
Butters?
Butters!
396
00:12:58,500 --> 00:12:59,700
Mom, dad.
397
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,700
Butters, are you having
liposuction surgery?
398
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,800
Tell me the truth.
399
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:04,900
Yes, sir.
400
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:06,200
This is
unbelievable!
401
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,900
How many times have we
told you never to have
402
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,600
Self-Performed liposuction
surgery in our house?
403
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:10,300
Four times, mom.
404
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,100
Well, i guess
that wasn't enough.
405
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,000
You get up to your room
right now, mister.
406
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,800
Yes, sir.
407
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,000
Oh, don't you give us
that look, young man,
408
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,100
You're gonna get it!
409
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,600
Tom, i'm standing out front of
the mayor's office
410
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:28,700
Where the big liar, jared is
once again about to speak.
411
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:31,700
Apparently, jared hopes to
regain his celebrity hero status
412
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:34,900
Which was lost when he
announced that it was aids,
413
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,100
Not sub sandwiches, that
caused him to lose weight.
414
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:39,300
Let's listen in.
415
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,500
Ladies and gentlemen,
at first i didn't understand
416
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,200
Why you felt betrayed
by the fact
417
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,300
That my aides helped me
to lose weight.
418
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,500
But now i understand that
it's because isn't fair
419
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,200
That i had aides
and most of you don't.
420
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,800
And so, with all the money
i made from commercials
421
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,600
I've decided to start
422
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:58,600
The "aides for everyone
foundation".
423
00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,900
What?!
424
00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:02,000
I am going to
personally see to it
425
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:06,900
That each and every
one of you gets aides.
426
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,700
This guy's insane.
427
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,200
But i won't stop there.
428
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,500
I'm gonna seek out
all the underprivileged
429
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,300
And hungry children
of the world,
430
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,800
And i'm going to
give them aides myself!
431
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,600
You're gonna give
children aids?
432
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:22,600
Yes, it is my hope that every
beautiful child on this earth
433
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,400
Has aides by next month.
434
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,200
Aides for everyone!
435
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:29,900
Get him!
436
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,500
Come on, butters,
time to go.
437
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:37,500
Go where?
438
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,100
To city wok, so we can
make our money- God!
439
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,400
I can't go
anywhere, fellas.
440
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,700
I've been grounded for having
liposuction surgery.
441
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,800
What?
442
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,200
I told you my parents
would be sore.
443
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,100
And they said for having
liposuction surgery
444
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,200
I can't be outside
for five days.
445
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,000
Dude, we just need you to come
down to city wok real quick
446
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,200
So they can see
how skinny you are.
447
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:54,600
You guys already got me
in dutch for being fat.
448
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,600
And then i got in double dutch
for having liposuction.
449
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,500
And now you're asking me
to be in triple dutch?
450
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,500
Unh-Uh, i'll never be
that dutch.
451
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,600
Kenny would've
done it.
452
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:04,500
Yup.
453
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,400
You guys remember what a
cool friend kenny was?
454
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,700
God, he was always up
for helping us out.
455
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:09,600
Man, he was the
best friend ever.
456
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,800
Look, fellas,
i can't do it.
457
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,900
My mom and dad call in
every hour from work
458
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:15,300
To make sure i'm here.
459
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:18,500
If i don't answer the phone
they'll know i'm up to no good.
460
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,500
All right,
all right.
461
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,800
I'll stay here and answer
the phone for you.
462
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,100
But you don't
sound like me.
463
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,400
"But you don't
sound like me.
464
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,100
"My name is butters,
and i'm a little pussy
465
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,800
Who won't help his
friends make money."
466
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,700
Wow, that was
pretty good.
467
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,200
All right, it's settled,
come on, butters.
468
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,600
Don't forget, a third of that
$4 million is mine.
469
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,700
Well, hello.
470
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:45,600
I'm just checking in
on you, butters.
471
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,000
Do i hear the television?
472
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,900
We told you, no television
while you're grounded.
473
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,700
Oh, gee whiz, i'm not
watching television, dad.
474
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,100
I'm just laying around
jacking it.
475
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,500
Jacking it?
Jacking what?
476
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,500
Well, my hot spicy boner,
of course, dad.
477
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,700
What?! Are you trying to get
yourself in more trouble
478
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:00,900
With that kind of
language?
479
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,900
Loosen up, you bloody
vaginal belch.
480
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,400
Oh, you are gonna
get it, mister.
481
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,800
You just wait
until i get home!
482
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,500
Bring it on,
queer bait.
483
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,400
Yes.
484
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:13,000
I tell my girlfriend i have
aides and she leaves.
485
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:16,000
I tell the world to get aides
and they think i'm crazy.
486
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,900
I offer to give aides to kids
and everyone wants me dead.
487
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:20,900
What's wrong with aides?
488
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,600
Why doesn't anyone want me
to give them aides?
489
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:29,200
There he is, beating
that dead horse.
490
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,700
Aah!
491
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,400
Welcome to chitty wok.
Take your order, please.
492
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,500
We have great news.
493
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,800
Our friend lost 40 pounds
eating your city wok food.
494
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,800
Here's the before-
And-After photos.
495
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,800
He lose weight
eating chitty wok?
496
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,000
That's right.
497
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,300
So now you can pay us to
use him in your commercials
498
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,800
And you'll have your
very own jared.
499
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,100
Oh, no, no way.
500
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,800
I'm not putting no jared
in my chitty wok commercial.
501
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,000
Why not?
502
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,800
Don't you know?
Everybody hate jared.
503
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,800
He want everyone in the world
to have aids.
504
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:57,600
He sick in the head.
505
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,500
What?
506
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,200
I don't want chitty wok
to have nothing to do
507
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,000
With jared
and his aids.
508
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,800
Wait, everyone
hates jared now?
509
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,200
Yeah, they
gonna kill him.
510
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,700
They're gonna kill jared
downtown right now.
511
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,100
Ah! Come on, guys,
we gotta sort this out.
512
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,500
Here's some
anthrax for ya!
513
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,500
Heh-Heh, heh-Heh.
514
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,500
Anthrax is giving me
colon cancer.
515
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,800
Hello.
516
00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:20,100
Butters,
your father called
517
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,900
And said you
made him very upset.
518
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,100
Yeah, well, dad's being
a little pussy, mom.
519
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,900
Butters, where did you get
that kind of smart mouth?
520
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,700
Not from you dumb-Asses,
that's for sure.
521
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,500
Oh, you just wait until
i get home, mister!
522
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,500
I'll be waiting
with bells on,
523
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,500
You old
horse-Banging skank.
524
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:38,400
Hey, that's some
anthrax over there!
525
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,900
Why did i ever do those
stupid commercials?
526
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,600
All right, jared,
you sick pervert,
527
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,600
Do you have anything to say
before you die?
528
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,400
Wait!
529
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,700
You're all making
a mistake!
530
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:55,800
Stay back, children.
531
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,000
Jared wants to
give you aids.
532
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,400
No, you don't
understand.
533
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,800
Jared doesn't
have aids-Aids,
534
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,200
He has assistants-
535
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,100
Two guys that help him lose
weight that he calls his aides.
536
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,300
Hmm.
Oh.
537
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,500
You mean, jared's aides
are like my aides?
538
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,400
Yes.
539
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,600
You mean
you all thought-
540
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,500
Oh my gosh!
541
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,300
Oh boy,
do i feel stupid.
542
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,900
We're so sorry, jared.
543
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,300
No, no,
it was my fault.
544
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:21,200
I can't believe i, i didn't
even think what i was saying.
545
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,600
So he was saying
546
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,500
Children should have help
like he had.
547
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,900
Yeah.
548
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,100
This has gotta be about the
biggest misunderstanding ever!
549
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,900
Oh my god.
550
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:34,800
I told my girlfriend i wanted
her to share my aides.
551
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,600
Oh, no wonder she left.
552
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,700
Can you imagine...
what we thought when you said
553
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:43,400
"Aides for everyone
foundation"?
554
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,100
Oh, brother!
555
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,500
Hey.
556
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,800
We're all laughing.
557
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,600
Oh hey, yeah, we would've never
laughed about this before.
558
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,400
Well, don't you see
what this means?
559
00:18:55,500 --> 00:19:01,700
It's been 22.3 years, so...
aids is finally funny.
560
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,800
He's right,
it's happened.
561
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,900
Hey, everybody!
Aids is finally funny.
562
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,200
All right!
563
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,000
Woo hoo, hooray!
564
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,500
I knew it would be
funny one day.
565
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:15,000
Aids.
566
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,100
Then it's time.
567
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,500
We can undo the banner.
568
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,900
Ooh! Ohh!
569
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,100
Hooray!
570
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,300
Tom, i'm standing
in the town square
571
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,800
Where just moments ago
572
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,900
It was declared that aids
can finally be joked about.
573
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000
What a great day
for humanity.
574
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,200
Aids quilt.
575
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,800
Oh boy,
this fantastic.
576
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,700
I'm so glad aids
is funny now.
577
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,400
Okay, so now, you wanna use our
friend in your commercials?
578
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,200
Sure, okay, i pay you
15 "dorrar".
579
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,200
15 dorrar?
But jared got millions.
580
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,700
Hey, i'm not subway,
i chitty wok.
581
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:51,200
Chitty wok don't have
million dollars.
582
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,700
Oh, god damn it!
583
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,400
Oh, just forget
the whole thing then.
584
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,400
Okay.
585
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:56,400
Hey, you kids know why
chicken cross road?
586
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,300
Why?
587
00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,600
'Cause it had aids.
588
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,300
Aids so funny.
589
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,700
Well, so much
for our money.
590
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,300
Yeah, but y'know,
i learned something today.
591
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,800
It would've been wrong for us
to exploit butters' weight loss,
592
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,600
Because then lots of fat people
would've believed it,
593
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:11,500
And then gone and eaten
a ton of chinese food
594
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,500
Instead of
dieting properly.
595
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:14,800
They'd still be fat,
596
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:16,500
And we'd be responible for
their shattered dreams.
597
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,400
Yeah, i don't think like
shattering fat peoples' dreams.
598
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,700
Besides, i'd get grounded.
599
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,200
Oh jesus, i'm supposed
to be grounded!
600
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:26,600
There you are, butters.
601
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:27,900
Are my mom and dad
back home yet?
602
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,200
No, but they're
due home any minute.
603
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,400
Come on,
you're just in time.
604
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,600
Oh boy!
605
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,600
Mom and dad didn't find out
i left the house, did they?
606
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:34,700
No, i totally
covered for you.
607
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,500
They completely believed
i was you on the phone.
608
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:37,800
Oh, goody!
609
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:39,500
Here you go, i drew some
pictures with crayon
610
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,800
So it looked like
you were here all day.
611
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,300
And i ate a little food
so it looked like you ate.
612
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:43,700
And i fed your cat.
Perfect.
613
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,300
All right, i better get out
of here before they get back.
614
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:47,600
Hey, eric.
615
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:49,100
Thanks for
covering for me.
616
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,700
You're a real pal.
617
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,200
Butters, it was
my pleasure.
618
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:14,800
Hi, mom and dad.
619
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,400
Don't you "hi, mom and dad" us,
you little punk!
620
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,900
Oh dad!
621
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,400
You don't even know the
trouble you're in, mister!
622
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,200
What i do?
What i do?
623
00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:24,700
You think
you're tough now?
624
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,200
Answer me!
625
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,700
Oh man,
if i was older
626
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,400
I would totally start
jacking off right now.