1
00:00:14,643 --> 00:00:17,673
Going down to South Park
Gonna have myself a time
2
00:00:17,813 --> 00:00:20,973
Friendly faces everywhere
Humble folks without temptation
3
00:00:21,103 --> 00:00:24,103
Going down to South Park
Gonna leave my woes behind
4
00:00:24,443 --> 00:00:27,893
Ample parking day or night
People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"
5
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,023
I'm heading up to South Park
Gonna see if I can't unwind
6
00:00:30,153 --> 00:00:31,183
West side.
7
00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:37,153
Come on down to South Park
And meet some friends of mine
8
00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:40,623
- You guys, look what I have.
- What?
9
00:00:40,753 --> 00:00:43,123
Four tickets to the Lion King on stage.
10
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:47,173
Oh, come on, you guys.
It's supposed to be really cool.
11
00:00:47,303 --> 00:00:49,333
Yeah, no, it sounds really cool.
12
00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:52,213
You guys! You guys, oh, my God!
Oh, my God, you guys!
13
00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:54,173
- What, doughboy?
- I was just...
14
00:00:54,643 --> 00:00:55,723
I was just watching the TV.
15
00:00:55,853 --> 00:00:57,223
- They had this commercial.
- So?
16
00:00:57,353 --> 00:00:59,923
So guess what they're going to say
tonight on that show, Cop Drama?
17
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,553
- What?
- No. Come on, guess.
18
00:01:01,693 --> 00:01:03,933
They're gonna say something
that's never been said on television.
19
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,183
- What?
- You'll never guess.
20
00:01:05,313 --> 00:01:06,313
- What?
- Guess.
21
00:01:06,443 --> 00:01:07,473
God damn it, Cartman.
22
00:01:07,613 --> 00:01:08,983
What are they gonna say
on Cop Drama?
23
00:01:09,113 --> 00:01:12,983
You ready?
Tonight on Cop Drama, on TV,
24
00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:14,653
they're gonna say
25
00:01:15,703 --> 00:01:16,703
"shit."
26
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:19,703
- They're gonna say "shit" on television?
- They can't say "shit" on television.
27
00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,993
It was just on the news.
People are freaking out, dude.
28
00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:24,333
- Holy... shit!
- Cool! We got to watch.
29
00:01:24,463 --> 00:01:26,373
Yeah, I'm going to have people
over to my house to see it.
30
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,633
But I've got these tickets
to see Lion King on stage.
31
00:01:28,763 --> 00:01:32,803
Maybe you didn't hear me, Kyle.
I said "shit" on television.
32
00:01:32,933 --> 00:01:34,343
It's just a marketing ploy by the network.
33
00:01:34,473 --> 00:01:35,883
Like that time they had
the first male-to-male kiss
34
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,093
with Terrance and Phillip.
35
00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:39,183
- Oh, come on, dude. This is history.
- It's stupid.
36
00:01:39,313 --> 00:01:40,423
Jeez, you're a little irritable, Kyle.
37
00:01:40,563 --> 00:01:42,473
What's the matter?
You got some sand in your vagina?
38
00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:45,813
No, I don't have sand in my vagina.
I just think it's just a little immature
39
00:01:45,943 --> 00:01:48,273
for us to be standing around talking
about one dumb word being on TV.
40
00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:50,813
Hey, Sam. Did you hear the news?
41
00:01:50,953 --> 00:01:53,353
Yeah, they're gonna say
"shit" on television.
42
00:01:53,493 --> 00:01:56,573
Hey, we should all get together
and watch it at the bar.
43
00:01:56,703 --> 00:01:58,033
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
44
00:01:58,163 --> 00:02:00,043
Are you guys gonna let your kids watch?
45
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,333
Oh, sure. I mean, you know,
46
00:02:01,463 --> 00:02:03,663
Cop Drama is
a very artsy, dramatic show.
47
00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:05,673
And they're gonna say "shit"!
48
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:09,383
Hey, Butters. I got tickets
to go see Lion King tonight.
49
00:02:09,513 --> 00:02:11,923
And I've decided to invite you
before anybody else.
50
00:02:12,053 --> 00:02:14,763
Oh, sorry, I can't.
They're gonna say "shit" on Cop Drama.
51
00:02:14,893 --> 00:02:16,353
And my mom and dad say
I have to watch it with them
52
00:02:16,473 --> 00:02:18,133
so that I don't take it the wrong way.
53
00:02:18,273 --> 00:02:20,803
How many ways are there to take it?
It's just a stupid word.
54
00:02:20,943 --> 00:02:23,433
Hey, everybody! It's on in 30 minutes!
55
00:02:28,193 --> 00:02:30,983
Listen, Mitchell.
I put my life on the line every day.
56
00:02:31,113 --> 00:02:34,323
- How dare you accuse me!
- Oh, I bet this is it. Here it comes.
57
00:02:34,453 --> 00:02:37,783
I'm doing my job, Frank. We have to
know where that evidence was shipped.
58
00:02:37,913 --> 00:02:40,493
- Oh, was that it? Was that it?
- Shipped. He said "shipped."
59
00:02:40,623 --> 00:02:42,423
I told you, we don't have
a record of that.
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00:02:42,543 --> 00:02:46,043
And, besides, your job is to protect
the men who serve this force.
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00:02:46,423 --> 00:02:48,583
God damn it!
When are they gonna say "shit"?
62
00:02:48,723 --> 00:02:52,003
Maybe. Maybe protect them from you?
63
00:02:52,263 --> 00:02:54,253
Maybe you're forgetting
who you're taking to.
64
00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:56,713
Maybe you're forgetting
I used to be a captain.
65
00:02:57,063 --> 00:02:59,053
Yeah? You used to be a lot of things.
66
00:02:59,193 --> 00:03:01,313
Oh, he doesn't know Mitchell slept
with his wife, does he?
67
00:03:01,813 --> 00:03:04,903
- That's it. I've had enough of this.
- Don't you turn your back on me, you...
68
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:07,023
- I said enough!
- Is it?
69
00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:09,653
Will it ever be enough?
70
00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:12,403
Cop Drama will return
after these messages.
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00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:15,573
Jesus Christ, another commercial?
Are they ever gonna say "shit"?
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00:03:15,703 --> 00:03:17,863
I'm sure they're just holding it
till the very last scene.
73
00:03:18,793 --> 00:03:21,543
- Where are you going, Kyle?
- I'm going to the kitchen. This is stupid.
74
00:03:21,673 --> 00:03:23,083
But you're going to miss it.
They're going to say shit
75
00:03:23,213 --> 00:03:25,043
- and you're gonna miss it.
- I don't really give a...
76
00:03:25,173 --> 00:03:26,173
Oh.
77
00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:32,083
Just understand that it's my job.
I still think you're a good cop.
78
00:03:32,223 --> 00:03:35,513
Well, Mitchell. I guess you're going
to do what you're going to do.
79
00:03:35,643 --> 00:03:37,513
Just try and stay friends,
no matter what.
80
00:03:37,643 --> 00:03:41,013
You're right.
Maybe I'll see you around. Goodbye.
81
00:03:41,193 --> 00:03:42,563
Oh, and Mitchell?
82
00:03:43,113 --> 00:03:44,683
You got some shit
on the side of your mouth right there.
83
00:03:44,823 --> 00:03:46,023
Oh, yeah. Oh, thanks.
84
00:03:46,613 --> 00:03:47,813
Wow!
85
00:03:47,953 --> 00:03:48,983
Whoa.
86
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,493
They did it.
87
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,573
I can't believe they actually said it.
88
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,743
Dude, you missed it, Kyle!
It was so awesome!
89
00:03:57,873 --> 00:04:01,493
Well, I hope it lived up to all the hype.
You must feel so much better now.
90
00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,373
Kyle, we've got to get
that sand out of your vagina.
91
00:04:03,503 --> 00:04:05,083
It's making you cranky. Does it itch?
92
00:04:05,213 --> 00:04:07,673
Do you really think anything is
going to be any different now?
93
00:04:07,803 --> 00:04:10,723
Do you really think that this will have
the tiniest, smallest effect on the world?
94
00:04:10,843 --> 00:04:13,223
It's still the same old world
out there. Look!
95
00:04:15,853 --> 00:04:18,313
- What the hell?
- Dude, it's raining frogs.
96
00:04:18,643 --> 00:04:19,643
Oh, whatever.
97
00:04:19,773 --> 00:04:23,193
Last night the daring and bold show
Cop Drama broke new ground
98
00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:26,063
by saying "shit" on television,
99
00:04:26,193 --> 00:04:28,653
making "shit" officially okay to say
around the country.
100
00:04:28,783 --> 00:04:30,113
A recent poll shows
101
00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:33,493
that 24% of Americans think the show
has pushed the envelope too far.
102
00:04:33,623 --> 00:04:36,743
While a whopping 76% say
they don't really give a shit.
103
00:04:36,873 --> 00:04:37,903
In other news,
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00:04:38,043 --> 00:04:41,713
a strange virus which causes victims
to vomit up their intestines
105
00:04:41,843 --> 00:04:44,713
is making life shitty
for a small farming community.
106
00:04:44,843 --> 00:04:46,253
Rick Watts has the story.
107
00:04:46,383 --> 00:04:50,053
Thanks, Tom. Shit is certainly going
down here in this small town of...
108
00:04:53,223 --> 00:04:54,223
Whoa. Shit.
109
00:04:56,103 --> 00:04:58,643
All right, children.
In lieu of the common usage,
110
00:04:58,773 --> 00:05:02,023
I'm supposed to clarify
the school's position on the word "shit."
111
00:05:02,153 --> 00:05:03,693
Wow! We can say "shit" in school now?
112
00:05:03,823 --> 00:05:04,903
Oh, this is ridiculous.
113
00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:06,773
Just because they say it on TV,
it's all right?
114
00:05:06,903 --> 00:05:10,113
Yes, but only in the figurative noun form
or the adjective form.
115
00:05:10,993 --> 00:05:13,403
You can only use it
in the non-literal sense.
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00:05:13,543 --> 00:05:14,573
For instance,
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00:05:14,703 --> 00:05:17,873
"That's a shitty picture of me"
is now fine.
118
00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:22,633
However, the literal noun form of
"This is a picture of shit" is still naughty.
119
00:05:22,753 --> 00:05:24,253
- I don't get it.
- Me, neither.
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00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:26,593
The adjective form is now
also acceptable.
121
00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:29,803
For example,
"The weather outside is shitty."
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00:05:30,183 --> 00:05:33,053
However, the literal adjective
is not appropriate.
123
00:05:33,223 --> 00:05:34,223
For example,
124
00:05:34,353 --> 00:05:37,723
"My bad diarrhea made
the inside of the toilet bowl shitty
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00:05:37,983 --> 00:05:41,263
"and I had to clean it with a rag,
which then also became shitty."
126
00:05:41,403 --> 00:05:42,683
That's right out.
127
00:05:44,653 --> 00:05:46,983
- Shit!
- Very good, Timmy.
128
00:05:47,783 --> 00:05:50,573
Ms Choksondik,
can we say it in the expletive?
129
00:05:50,703 --> 00:05:53,193
Like "Oh, shit" or "Shit on a shingle"?
130
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:54,823
Yes, that's now fine.
131
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:57,083
Wow, this is gonna be great!
A whole new word!
132
00:05:57,213 --> 00:06:01,213
It's not new. I'm gonna look "shit" up
in the encyclopedia and prove it.
133
00:06:01,343 --> 00:06:03,883
Don't mind Kyle, everyone.
He's just got a little sand in his vagina.
134
00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:07,793
- There's no sand in my vagina!
- Boys, watch your language. Shit.
135
00:06:08,763 --> 00:06:11,763
And so, children, instead of saying
"Hand in your papers",
136
00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:15,343
I may now say, "Hand in your shit."
Any questions?
137
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:18,733
- What about "I have to take a shit"?
- No! No, Filmore.
138
00:06:18,863 --> 00:06:21,733
You can say "I have to poop and shit"
or "Oh, shit, I have to poop",
139
00:06:21,863 --> 00:06:24,023
but not "I have to shit." Are we all clear?
140
00:06:24,153 --> 00:06:26,643
- No.
- Look, it's all about context.
141
00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:29,653
Well, for example,
recently I have come out
142
00:06:29,783 --> 00:06:31,913
and admitted that I was a homosexual.
143
00:06:32,123 --> 00:06:35,653
I'm gay. That means
that now I can say the word
144
00:06:36,123 --> 00:06:37,163
"fag."
145
00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:41,043
On television
they usually don't allow "fag"
146
00:06:41,173 --> 00:06:43,293
but because I'm gay, it's all right.
147
00:06:43,423 --> 00:06:45,883
And with the new approval
of the word "shit",
148
00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:48,933
that means that finally I am free to say,
149
00:06:49,473 --> 00:06:54,383
"Hey there, shitty, shitty fag-fag
Shitty, shitty fag-fag, how do you do?
150
00:06:54,523 --> 00:06:59,063
"Hey there, shitty, shitty fag-fag
Shitty, shitty fag-fag, how do you do?"
151
00:06:59,443 --> 00:07:00,603
Oh, this is great.
152
00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,823
Well, that store has such lovely shit.
153
00:07:05,953 --> 00:07:09,033
Yeah, too bad I don't have
shit for cash right now.
154
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:11,123
Oh, looks like the weather
might turn shitty.
155
00:07:11,243 --> 00:07:12,493
Oh, I don't really give a shit.
156
00:07:12,623 --> 00:07:14,783
I've done enough shit
outside today and shit.
157
00:07:14,923 --> 00:07:18,623
- Shit, Peter, you look like shit.
- Oh, shit, I feel like shit. I think I...
158
00:07:20,093 --> 00:07:22,923
- Holy shit.
- Did you see that shit?
159
00:07:23,053 --> 00:07:24,463
What kind of shit is this?
160
00:07:24,593 --> 00:07:26,383
- That is some weird shit.
- Suzy, your shit's ready.
161
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:27,843
Hey, do you know where this shit goes?
162
00:07:27,973 --> 00:07:29,763
- Shit if I know.
- Nice going, shit-for-brains.
163
00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:31,723
Old Macdonald took a shit
E- l-E-l-O
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00:07:31,853 --> 00:07:32,853
Don't shit.
165
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:59,873
"Hey there, shitty, shitty fag-fag
Shitty, shitty fag-fag, how do you do?
166
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,083
"Hey there..."
167
00:08:01,213 --> 00:08:04,333
- Oh, shit, excuse me.
- Hey, watch it, fag.
168
00:08:04,473 --> 00:08:07,013
- What did you call me?
- I called you a fag.
169
00:08:07,143 --> 00:08:10,803
Because I'm gay and that means
I'm free to use the word "fag".
170
00:08:11,063 --> 00:08:13,133
So piss off, you fag-shitter.
171
00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:19,063
"So hey there, shitty, shitty fag-fag
Shitty, shitty fag-fag..."
172
00:08:19,483 --> 00:08:22,243
This sucks. Now that "shit's" out,
it isn't fun to say it any more.
173
00:08:22,363 --> 00:08:24,113
Yeah, they've taken
all the fun out of "shit."
174
00:08:24,243 --> 00:08:25,483
We're gonna have to start saying
other bad words,
175
00:08:25,623 --> 00:08:28,783
- like "cock" and... and "meecrob."
- What's "meecrob"?
176
00:08:28,913 --> 00:08:31,993
You know, that stuff you get
as a appetizer at Thai food restaurants?
177
00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:34,113
Meecrob tastes way grosser
than shit, dude.
178
00:08:34,253 --> 00:08:37,673
I'd scarf down a wet bucketful of shit
before I ate another plate of meecrob.
179
00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:40,673
You guys, you guys!
I looked up the word "shit".
180
00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:42,213
I think it might have something to do
181
00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:43,843
- with people dying.
- What?
182
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:45,633
Haven't you noticed
everyone getting sick?
183
00:08:45,763 --> 00:08:47,883
It all started
when they said "shit" on television.
184
00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:51,513
- Oh, Kyle, you are so full of meecrob.
- I am not full of... What?
185
00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:54,933
Look, the word "shit" first showed up
in English in the 1340s.
186
00:08:55,063 --> 00:08:57,523
The same time as something called
the Black Death.
187
00:08:57,653 --> 00:08:58,933
- What's that?
- Kyle, do you still have
188
00:08:59,073 --> 00:09:00,983
sand in your vagina about us not going
to Lion King with you?
189
00:09:01,113 --> 00:09:02,573
I mean, shit, dude. Let it go.
190
00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:05,953
Look, it might be coincidence, but I think
we better ask someone. Come on.
191
00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:18,173
A 75 share.
My God, I never thought it was possible.
192
00:09:18,303 --> 00:09:21,253
Sir, your "shit" idea has turned
the entire network around.
193
00:09:21,383 --> 00:09:22,923
We're proud to work for you.
194
00:09:23,053 --> 00:09:26,923
Sir, I'd just like to take this opportunity,
and I'm sure I speak for all of us
195
00:09:27,063 --> 00:09:30,553
when I say you are
the most creative genius in Hollywood
196
00:09:30,893 --> 00:09:33,473
and, well, I'd let you have me
if you wanted.
197
00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,763
Thanks, Roger, but I've only just started.
198
00:09:35,903 --> 00:09:39,023
You see, I've already figured out
our new marketing scheme technique
199
00:09:39,153 --> 00:09:41,773
- for the next run of shows.
- Oh, he's unstoppable.
200
00:09:41,903 --> 00:09:43,403
- What's the new idea?
- I can hardly wait.
201
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:44,693
I'm about to piss myself.
202
00:09:44,993 --> 00:09:47,613
This Saturday on HBC
203
00:09:47,873 --> 00:09:50,443
we're going to say "shit"...
204
00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:52,583
twice.
205
00:09:54,423 --> 00:09:55,663
- Twice!
- Brilliant.
206
00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:59,003
- Think of the repetition!
- It's like saying it once, but double.
207
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,593
Well, gentlemen, let's get on it.
208
00:10:03,553 --> 00:10:08,213
Baby, you are so fine and shit
The shit you do, the shit you say
209
00:10:08,353 --> 00:10:10,473
I'd jump on your shit any day
210
00:10:10,733 --> 00:10:13,023
- Oh, hello, there, children.
- Hey, Chef.
211
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,693
Chef, do you know
where "shit" comes from?
212
00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:16,773
From your ass, children.
213
00:10:16,903 --> 00:10:19,573
- No, no, no. The word "shit."
- Oh.
214
00:10:19,693 --> 00:10:22,233
Detective Sandy Vagina here thinks
that "shit" might have
215
00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:23,863
something to do
with everyone getting sick.
216
00:10:23,993 --> 00:10:25,903
It said in my book
that the word "shit" started
217
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:28,413
the exact same time
as something called the Black Death.
218
00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:30,863
The Black Death? Are you sure?
219
00:10:31,003 --> 00:10:34,123
- What's the Black Death, Chef?
- La Toya Jackson, children.
220
00:10:34,253 --> 00:10:35,333
- Oh.
- Oh.
221
00:10:35,463 --> 00:10:39,383
But I think back in those days
it meant something else. The plague.
222
00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:44,753
It says here the word "shit" has been
around for over 600 years.
223
00:10:44,893 --> 00:10:47,213
It comes from
the Anglo-Saxon word "scite".
224
00:10:47,353 --> 00:10:50,773
Right, but in the 1340s people
in England stopped calling it "scite"
225
00:10:50,893 --> 00:10:54,183
and started calling it "shit".
The same year as the black plague.
226
00:10:54,313 --> 00:10:56,693
This is the oldest book in the library.
227
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,603
A priceless original of England's history.
228
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,453
Just about everything
you could want to know
229
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:04,193
about the plague is in this great tome.
230
00:11:05,663 --> 00:11:06,693
Oh, shit.
231
00:11:07,163 --> 00:11:09,873
Well, this other book has
some good information, too.
232
00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:14,253
Over half of Europe was killed by it.
233
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,883
Look, they're puking out their intestines,
just like the people here.
234
00:11:17,013 --> 00:11:18,083
Look at this, children.
235
00:11:18,223 --> 00:11:20,973
It says the people in England believed
that the plague was a curse.
236
00:11:21,093 --> 00:11:25,303
A dark, magic infliction brought on by
a mass utterance of a word of curse.
237
00:11:25,973 --> 00:11:28,463
- Word of curse?
- A curse word.
238
00:11:28,603 --> 00:11:30,183
Of course. I've never even thought
239
00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:32,773
about why we use
the term "curse word" before.
240
00:11:32,903 --> 00:11:35,443
Because it brings a curse?
Like the Black Death.
241
00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:37,693
You guys, look here.
In this Nancy Drew mystery,
242
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:40,493
Nancy goes to the beach
and gets sand trapped in her shoe.
243
00:11:40,613 --> 00:11:43,193
This could explain
how Kyle got it in his vagina.
244
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:45,453
- Cartman, this is serious!
- So am I, Kyle.
245
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,493
If that sand in your vagina
doesn't get released,
246
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,363
you could become a walking time bomb.
247
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:53,323
If you don't mind,
I'll have to close up now.
248
00:11:53,503 --> 00:11:56,343
They're going to say "shit"
seven times on HBC and I...
249
00:11:57,723 --> 00:11:59,713
- Holy shit!
- Gross.
250
00:11:59,843 --> 00:12:01,973
Dude, this plague is spreading
like wildfire.
251
00:12:05,853 --> 00:12:08,603
- Kenny's got it.
- We gotta do something, Chef.
252
00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:12,513
If we don't stop that network, "shit" will
become an even more acceptable word.
253
00:12:12,653 --> 00:12:14,693
Children, we've got to warn
those producers in Hollywood
254
00:12:14,823 --> 00:12:17,393
that the plague
and "shit" could be linked.
255
00:12:20,743 --> 00:12:22,983
Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.
256
00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:24,943
If you look out
the right side of the aircraft,
257
00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:27,323
you can see some interesting shit.
258
00:12:27,463 --> 00:12:30,493
And over on the left side
there's some interesting shit, too.
259
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:33,253
We should be arriving in Los Angeles
in about two hours.
260
00:12:33,383 --> 00:12:36,883
Until then, we invite you to sit back,
relax and enjoy our shitty service.
261
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,593
God damn it, Kenny.
Don't get your plague germs on me.
262
00:12:39,723 --> 00:12:41,383
Cartman, stop being an asshole.
263
00:12:50,903 --> 00:12:53,523
The ratings are in, sir.
We broke another record last night
264
00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:56,113
with the show
that said "shit" seven times.
265
00:12:57,493 --> 00:13:01,113
Where is the roof on this thing?
I mean, how can we top ourselves now?
266
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:05,743
Gentlemen, I have it. The end-all
greatest marketing ploy of all time.
267
00:13:08,173 --> 00:13:12,583
Tonight on HBC,
we will air all our sitcoms live
268
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:16,673
and have everyone say "shit"
in place of their written lines.
269
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,593
And we'll call it "Must Shit TV".
270
00:13:19,763 --> 00:13:21,883
- Bravo.
- "Night of a Million Shits".
271
00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:25,853
- Now, doing this live will be difficult so...
- Hold on a minute, Mr. Producer.
272
00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:27,353
- Who are you?
- My name is Chef
273
00:13:27,483 --> 00:13:30,683
and these are the children.
We've come to warn you about "shit".
274
00:13:31,113 --> 00:13:33,433
Oh, brother,
another Christian protest group.
275
00:13:33,573 --> 00:13:35,733
- Who wants to take this one?
- I'll get it.
276
00:13:35,863 --> 00:13:38,073
Gentleman, we appreciate
your concern.
277
00:13:38,203 --> 00:13:39,533
Here at HBC
the general goal is providing
278
00:13:39,663 --> 00:13:40,743
the highest,
most thought-provoking entertainment.
279
00:13:40,873 --> 00:13:41,903
How great it is that we live in a country
280
00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:43,033
where an artist can express
himself freely.
281
00:13:43,163 --> 00:13:44,243
That's not only the American spirit,
282
00:13:44,373 --> 00:13:45,403
it's the HBC spirit,
which allows us to make
283
00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:46,783
a great family programme
like Halo the Turtle
284
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,203
and of course everyone's
favourite show, Cop Drama.
285
00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:49,583
We can't thank you enough
for your concerns.
286
00:13:49,713 --> 00:13:51,753
For it is you, the loyal HBC viewer,
who makes this great network
287
00:13:51,883 --> 00:13:53,503
and, indeed, the great country that it is.
288
00:13:57,183 --> 00:13:58,213
All right, now, as I was saying...
289
00:13:58,343 --> 00:14:00,633
- Hey, hold on a minute.
- Are they still here?
290
00:14:00,763 --> 00:14:03,173
Haven't you people noticed
all the strange things going on?
291
00:14:03,353 --> 00:14:04,433
We think that you might have caused it
292
00:14:04,563 --> 00:14:06,143
by helping make "shit"
an everyday word.
293
00:14:07,773 --> 00:14:08,803
Right, right.
294
00:14:09,023 --> 00:14:11,563
It's true. We think that word might be
plaguing our friend, Kenny.
295
00:14:11,693 --> 00:14:14,103
- Do you have any proof of this?
- No.
296
00:14:14,243 --> 00:14:16,613
Then get out of here
before we have you thrown out.
297
00:14:16,743 --> 00:14:18,733
But we can keep
the Halo The Turtle dolls, right?
298
00:14:19,953 --> 00:14:21,493
Damn cracker-ass producers.
299
00:14:21,623 --> 00:14:23,863
- Now what are we gonna do, Chef?
- I don't know, children.
300
00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:26,283
I guess we got to get the word out
to people some other way.
301
00:14:29,543 --> 00:14:30,663
Oh, shit!
302
00:14:33,843 --> 00:14:34,923
Stand aside.
303
00:14:35,053 --> 00:14:36,043
All right. Now we have to get
304
00:14:36,183 --> 00:14:38,633
all our biggest names to say "shit"
and then we're gonna...
305
00:14:38,763 --> 00:14:40,223
Halt your evil plans!
306
00:14:41,103 --> 00:14:45,233
I possess the rune stone of undoing.
Who is in charge here?
307
00:14:46,643 --> 00:14:50,773
Oh, no. You guys didn't hire me
a stripper for my birthday.
308
00:14:50,903 --> 00:14:52,643
Oh, tell me you guys didn't.
309
00:14:52,783 --> 00:14:55,813
Show your true form, Geldon,
lest you be afraid.
310
00:14:55,993 --> 00:14:58,823
Your short time in this world is
at an end.
311
00:15:00,913 --> 00:15:03,863
The rune stone has no effect!
You are not Geldon.
312
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,493
I never said I was.
313
00:15:05,713 --> 00:15:09,243
You'll die anyway,
for you have spread the word of curse.
314
00:15:10,883 --> 00:15:11,873
Security.
315
00:15:16,803 --> 00:15:18,633
- Who are you?
- Take this.
316
00:15:19,223 --> 00:15:20,423
What are we supposed to do with it?
317
00:15:23,143 --> 00:15:24,143
Now what?
318
00:15:24,273 --> 00:15:26,643
We've got to find people who know
what the hell this is all about.
319
00:15:26,773 --> 00:15:30,523
Children, we're gonna have to go to
the land of castles, knights, and kings.
320
00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:40,193
Lords and ladies, we bid you welcome
to the grandest casino in the land,
321
00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:41,793
Excalibur.
322
00:15:44,213 --> 00:15:46,743
Take a free spin. Double your odds.
323
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:50,173
- Excuse me. Do you work here?
- How can I help you, noble sir?
324
00:15:50,303 --> 00:15:52,703
We need some help identifying
an ancient English stone.
325
00:15:52,843 --> 00:15:55,593
- A what?
- It might hold the key to a curse.
326
00:15:56,803 --> 00:16:00,303
I can help get you some credit
or a comp meal, perhaps.
327
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:04,103
- Dude, we need help from the British.
- Look, kid. This is just a casino.
328
00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:05,433
I can't help you. You know,
329
00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:09,353
not every British person knows
about wizards and dragons and curses.
330
00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:11,773
We just need help identifying this.
331
00:16:11,993 --> 00:16:14,693
A rune stone of Gaelic.
Where did you get this?
332
00:16:14,823 --> 00:16:15,853
You know what it is?
333
00:16:15,993 --> 00:16:19,993
The Skyre once spoke of such a stone.
Come, we must see the sorcerer.
334
00:16:22,003 --> 00:16:24,623
Get ready for "Must Shit TV".
335
00:16:24,753 --> 00:16:29,963
Starting now, four straight hours
of pure shit. It's all live.
336
00:16:30,093 --> 00:16:31,463
Hey. Shit.
337
00:16:33,883 --> 00:16:36,043
- Shit.
- Yeah. You ain't shit.
338
00:16:38,013 --> 00:16:40,343
This is it. My greatest work.
339
00:16:40,773 --> 00:16:42,973
Cocktails. Cocktails.
340
00:16:43,483 --> 00:16:45,273
These Americans wish to see the Skyre.
341
00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:47,523
Let us make haste to the inner sanctum.
342
00:16:47,653 --> 00:16:50,483
How could you foolish Americans
bring the wrath of Skorne
343
00:16:50,613 --> 00:16:53,103
by mass chanting the word
of wretchedness?
344
00:16:53,363 --> 00:16:55,113
Yeah, we didn't mean to.
345
00:16:55,243 --> 00:16:58,033
Didn't you realize "shit" is
a curse word?
346
00:16:58,163 --> 00:17:01,693
Well, yeah, but I don't think we knew
that curse word meant curse word.
347
00:17:02,663 --> 00:17:06,883
Leave it to Americans to think that "no"
means "yes," "pissed" means "angry"
348
00:17:07,003 --> 00:17:10,623
and "curse word" means something
other than a word that's cursed.
349
00:17:14,343 --> 00:17:15,923
Let me see the stone.
350
00:17:16,053 --> 00:17:18,463
But I don't get it.
People use curse words all the time.
351
00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:21,143
Saying a word of curse once
in a while does nothing.
352
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,263
It's only when spoken repeatedly
and en masse
353
00:17:23,393 --> 00:17:25,053
that the curse takes place.
354
00:17:25,193 --> 00:17:26,683
I've seen this before.
355
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,853
Stones that were used by the Knights
of Standards and Practices.
356
00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:31,813
Knights of Standards and Practices?
357
00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:35,733
A legion of men sworn to do whatever
necessary to keep the words at bay.
358
00:17:36,033 --> 00:17:37,743
But they were just a myth.
359
00:17:37,913 --> 00:17:42,993
- You know what? You're dumb as shit.
- Yeah? Well, I don't really give a shit.
360
00:17:43,503 --> 00:17:45,163
You know, that word's getting
kind of old.
361
00:17:45,293 --> 00:17:46,873
It's not really funny any more.
362
00:17:47,003 --> 00:17:49,713
Yeah, they're gonna have to come up
with a new swear word soon.
363
00:17:49,843 --> 00:17:51,383
Well, they can't use "fag"
364
00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:54,383
because you can't say "fag"
unless you're a homosexual.
365
00:17:54,513 --> 00:17:57,843
- Really? So we can't say...
- No, see, you got beeped.
366
00:17:58,393 --> 00:18:01,313
You mean you have to be a... to say...
367
00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:02,513
That's right.
368
00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:06,313
Well, that's not fair.
I should be able to say fag.
369
00:18:06,443 --> 00:18:07,823
Hey, you didn't get beeped.
370
00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:11,493
Well, well, well. Guess we learned
something new about you, Jimbo.
371
00:18:11,613 --> 00:18:14,023
You frigging fag.
You wanna make out or something?
372
00:18:14,163 --> 00:18:15,953
Oh, man, I am up shit creek.
373
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,323
Serves you right, shit-for-brains.
374
00:18:18,453 --> 00:18:22,833
- Man, how could I be such a dumb...
- Say not the word of curse!
375
00:18:25,383 --> 00:18:26,923
- What the...
- Holy shit!
376
00:18:27,383 --> 00:18:30,083
Oh, boy, this show is really reaching
for plot now.
377
00:18:30,303 --> 00:18:33,003
The Knights were formed
to keep curse words to a minimum.
378
00:18:33,143 --> 00:18:35,633
Should a curse word ever be let out,
they would return.
379
00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:38,223
A rune stone for each word of curse
was made,
380
00:18:38,353 --> 00:18:41,303
representing each of the eight words
that so offended God.
381
00:18:41,443 --> 00:18:43,233
- Look, there's the F word.
- And "asshole".
382
00:18:43,353 --> 00:18:46,193
I knew it! "Meecrob".
Meecrob is a curse word.
383
00:18:46,323 --> 00:18:48,693
- God must hate it as much as I do.
- Look at this.
384
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:52,573
The writing here claims this stone
can defeat the evil Geldon
385
00:18:52,703 --> 00:18:54,693
who'll rise
when the word of curse has been said
386
00:18:54,823 --> 00:18:56,533
enough times to give him power.
387
00:18:56,663 --> 00:18:58,533
Then all the world will be destroyed.
388
00:18:58,663 --> 00:19:00,573
- All the world destroyed?
- My house, too?
389
00:19:00,713 --> 00:19:01,993
- Oh, no.
- What?
390
00:19:02,293 --> 00:19:04,753
Tonight is
the "Night of a Million Shits" on HBC.
391
00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:07,003
It's gonna be said over and over.
392
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,043
Then we haven't much time.
We must go.
393
00:19:09,173 --> 00:19:13,593
- Turn off those devices of broadcast.
- What is going on here? Stop this shit.
394
00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:16,593
We are the Royal Order
of Standards and Practices.
395
00:19:16,853 --> 00:19:19,853
We command you to stop saying
the curse word.
396
00:19:20,103 --> 00:19:23,393
Listen, Mr. Shiny Pants,
I am the head of this network.
397
00:19:23,523 --> 00:19:26,013
And I will say "shit" all I want.
398
00:19:26,363 --> 00:19:28,603
Shit. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
399
00:19:53,553 --> 00:19:55,433
Oh, shit.
400
00:19:56,813 --> 00:20:00,853
And now back to "Must Shit TV",
here on HBC.
401
00:20:03,233 --> 00:20:07,103
It's too strong. We cannot fight it
without the rune stone.
402
00:20:07,443 --> 00:20:08,473
My God, sir.
403
00:20:08,613 --> 00:20:10,523
What have you unleashed
upon the world?
404
00:20:10,663 --> 00:20:14,323
I didn't know. I didn't know!
405
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:18,653
I can't follow this shitty storyline at all.
406
00:20:18,793 --> 00:20:19,873
Wait!
407
00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:24,003
Oh, boy, that thing has really got
sand in its vagina.
408
00:20:24,133 --> 00:20:26,883
The rune stone!
Face it towards Geldon!
409
00:20:30,843 --> 00:20:33,713
Dude, lame! Lame. Bummer, dude.
410
00:20:34,103 --> 00:20:37,473
- What a stupid voice.
- It's okay. The curse has been lifted.
411
00:20:38,983 --> 00:20:41,433
Yeah. We all gotta make sure
it doesn't come back.
412
00:20:41,563 --> 00:20:43,063
See, we've learned something today.
413
00:20:43,193 --> 00:20:46,773
Swearing can be fun, but doing it
all the time causes a lot of problems.
414
00:20:46,993 --> 00:20:49,113
We're all saying the S word too much.
415
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:50,353
Kyle.
416
00:20:50,493 --> 00:20:52,613
Look, Gerald. Kyle's on television.
417
00:20:53,123 --> 00:20:54,993
The Knights of Standards and Practices
were created
418
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:56,993
to make sure
that bad words were kept to a minimum.
419
00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,243
Curse words. They're called that
because they are cursed.
420
00:21:00,373 --> 00:21:03,993
We have to go back to only using curse
words in rare, extreme circumstances.
421
00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:06,253
And, besides, too much use
of a dirty word takes away
422
00:21:06,383 --> 00:21:07,413
from its impact.
423
00:21:07,553 --> 00:21:09,543
We believe in free speech and all that,
424
00:21:09,683 --> 00:21:12,303
but making a few words taboo
just adds to the fun of English.
425
00:21:12,433 --> 00:21:14,173
So, please, everyone,
426
00:21:14,313 --> 00:21:16,553
from now on you've got to try
and watch your language.
427
00:21:17,983 --> 00:21:19,473
- Yeah.
- He's right.
428
00:21:19,603 --> 00:21:20,633
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
429
00:21:20,773 --> 00:21:22,273
- It makes sense.
- They're right.
430
00:21:22,403 --> 00:21:24,193
Is this still part of the show?
431
00:21:24,323 --> 00:21:26,893
We're sorry, noble Knights
of Standards and Practices.
432
00:21:27,033 --> 00:21:30,903
- From now on, we will obey your laws.
- See that you do.
433
00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:32,693
I'm very proud of you, children.
434
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,663
Let's all go home and find
a nice white woman to make love to.
435
00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:39,043
- Yeah. And Kenny didn't die.
- Yeah. I didn't...
436
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,993
Holy... poop.
437
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,123
I love you guys.