1 00:00:14,643 --> 00:00:17,673 Going down to South Park Gonna have myself a time 2 00:00:17,813 --> 00:00:20,973 Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation 3 00:00:21,103 --> 00:00:24,103 Going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind 4 00:00:24,443 --> 00:00:27,893 Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour" 5 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,023 I'm heading up to South Park Gonna see if I can't unwind 6 00:00:30,153 --> 00:00:31,183 West side. 7 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:37,153 Come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine 8 00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:40,623 - You guys, look what I have. - What? 9 00:00:40,753 --> 00:00:43,123 Four tickets to the Lion King on stage. 10 00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:47,173 Oh, come on, you guys. It's supposed to be really cool. 11 00:00:47,303 --> 00:00:49,333 Yeah, no, it sounds really cool. 12 00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:52,213 You guys! You guys, oh, my God! Oh, my God, you guys! 13 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:54,173 - What, doughboy? - I was just... 14 00:00:54,643 --> 00:00:55,723 I was just watching the TV. 15 00:00:55,853 --> 00:00:57,223 - They had this commercial. - So? 16 00:00:57,353 --> 00:00:59,923 So guess what they're going to say tonight on that show, Cop Drama? 17 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,553 - What? - No. Come on, guess. 18 00:01:01,693 --> 00:01:03,933 They're gonna say something that's never been said on television. 19 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,183 - What? - You'll never guess. 20 00:01:05,313 --> 00:01:06,313 - What? - Guess. 21 00:01:06,443 --> 00:01:07,473 God damn it, Cartman. 22 00:01:07,613 --> 00:01:08,983 What are they gonna say on Cop Drama? 23 00:01:09,113 --> 00:01:12,983 You ready? Tonight on Cop Drama, on TV, 24 00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:14,653 they're gonna say 25 00:01:15,703 --> 00:01:16,703 "shit." 26 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:19,703 - They're gonna say "shit" on television? - They can't say "shit" on television. 27 00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,993 It was just on the news. People are freaking out, dude. 28 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:24,333 - Holy... shit! - Cool! We got to watch. 29 00:01:24,463 --> 00:01:26,373 Yeah, I'm going to have people over to my house to see it. 30 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,633 But I've got these tickets to see Lion King on stage. 31 00:01:28,763 --> 00:01:32,803 Maybe you didn't hear me, Kyle. I said "shit" on television. 32 00:01:32,933 --> 00:01:34,343 It's just a marketing ploy by the network. 33 00:01:34,473 --> 00:01:35,883 Like that time they had the first male-to-male kiss 34 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,093 with Terrance and Phillip. 35 00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:39,183 - Oh, come on, dude. This is history. - It's stupid. 36 00:01:39,313 --> 00:01:40,423 Jeez, you're a little irritable, Kyle. 37 00:01:40,563 --> 00:01:42,473 What's the matter? You got some sand in your vagina? 38 00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:45,813 No, I don't have sand in my vagina. I just think it's just a little immature 39 00:01:45,943 --> 00:01:48,273 for us to be standing around talking about one dumb word being on TV. 40 00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:50,813 Hey, Sam. Did you hear the news? 41 00:01:50,953 --> 00:01:53,353 Yeah, they're gonna say "shit" on television. 42 00:01:53,493 --> 00:01:56,573 Hey, we should all get together and watch it at the bar. 43 00:01:56,703 --> 00:01:58,033 - Yeah. - Yeah. 44 00:01:58,163 --> 00:02:00,043 Are you guys gonna let your kids watch? 45 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,333 Oh, sure. I mean, you know, 46 00:02:01,463 --> 00:02:03,663 Cop Drama is a very artsy, dramatic show. 47 00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:05,673 And they're gonna say "shit"! 48 00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:09,383 Hey, Butters. I got tickets to go see Lion King tonight. 49 00:02:09,513 --> 00:02:11,923 And I've decided to invite you before anybody else. 50 00:02:12,053 --> 00:02:14,763 Oh, sorry, I can't. They're gonna say "shit" on Cop Drama. 51 00:02:14,893 --> 00:02:16,353 And my mom and dad say I have to watch it with them 52 00:02:16,473 --> 00:02:18,133 so that I don't take it the wrong way. 53 00:02:18,273 --> 00:02:20,803 How many ways are there to take it? It's just a stupid word. 54 00:02:20,943 --> 00:02:23,433 Hey, everybody! It's on in 30 minutes! 55 00:02:28,193 --> 00:02:30,983 Listen, Mitchell. I put my life on the line every day. 56 00:02:31,113 --> 00:02:34,323 - How dare you accuse me! - Oh, I bet this is it. Here it comes. 57 00:02:34,453 --> 00:02:37,783 I'm doing my job, Frank. We have to know where that evidence was shipped. 58 00:02:37,913 --> 00:02:40,493 - Oh, was that it? Was that it? - Shipped. He said "shipped." 59 00:02:40,623 --> 00:02:42,423 I told you, we don't have a record of that. 60 00:02:42,543 --> 00:02:46,043 And, besides, your job is to protect the men who serve this force. 61 00:02:46,423 --> 00:02:48,583 God damn it! When are they gonna say "shit"? 62 00:02:48,723 --> 00:02:52,003 Maybe. Maybe protect them from you? 63 00:02:52,263 --> 00:02:54,253 Maybe you're forgetting who you're taking to. 64 00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:56,713 Maybe you're forgetting I used to be a captain. 65 00:02:57,063 --> 00:02:59,053 Yeah? You used to be a lot of things. 66 00:02:59,193 --> 00:03:01,313 Oh, he doesn't know Mitchell slept with his wife, does he? 67 00:03:01,813 --> 00:03:04,903 - That's it. I've had enough of this. - Don't you turn your back on me, you... 68 00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:07,023 - I said enough! - Is it? 69 00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:09,653 Will it ever be enough? 70 00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:12,403 Cop Drama will return after these messages. 71 00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:15,573 Jesus Christ, another commercial? Are they ever gonna say "shit"? 72 00:03:15,703 --> 00:03:17,863 I'm sure they're just holding it till the very last scene. 73 00:03:18,793 --> 00:03:21,543 - Where are you going, Kyle? - I'm going to the kitchen. This is stupid. 74 00:03:21,673 --> 00:03:23,083 But you're going to miss it. They're going to say shit 75 00:03:23,213 --> 00:03:25,043 - and you're gonna miss it. - I don't really give a... 76 00:03:25,173 --> 00:03:26,173 Oh. 77 00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:32,083 Just understand that it's my job. I still think you're a good cop. 78 00:03:32,223 --> 00:03:35,513 Well, Mitchell. I guess you're going to do what you're going to do. 79 00:03:35,643 --> 00:03:37,513 Just try and stay friends, no matter what. 80 00:03:37,643 --> 00:03:41,013 You're right. Maybe I'll see you around. Goodbye. 81 00:03:41,193 --> 00:03:42,563 Oh, and Mitchell? 82 00:03:43,113 --> 00:03:44,683 You got some shit on the side of your mouth right there. 83 00:03:44,823 --> 00:03:46,023 Oh, yeah. Oh, thanks. 84 00:03:46,613 --> 00:03:47,813 Wow! 85 00:03:47,953 --> 00:03:48,983 Whoa. 86 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,493 They did it. 87 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,573 I can't believe they actually said it. 88 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,743 Dude, you missed it, Kyle! It was so awesome! 89 00:03:57,873 --> 00:04:01,493 Well, I hope it lived up to all the hype. You must feel so much better now. 90 00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,373 Kyle, we've got to get that sand out of your vagina. 91 00:04:03,503 --> 00:04:05,083 It's making you cranky. Does it itch? 92 00:04:05,213 --> 00:04:07,673 Do you really think anything is going to be any different now? 93 00:04:07,803 --> 00:04:10,723 Do you really think that this will have the tiniest, smallest effect on the world? 94 00:04:10,843 --> 00:04:13,223 It's still the same old world out there. Look! 95 00:04:15,853 --> 00:04:18,313 - What the hell? - Dude, it's raining frogs. 96 00:04:18,643 --> 00:04:19,643 Oh, whatever. 97 00:04:19,773 --> 00:04:23,193 Last night the daring and bold show Cop Drama broke new ground 98 00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:26,063 by saying "shit" on television, 99 00:04:26,193 --> 00:04:28,653 making "shit" officially okay to say around the country. 100 00:04:28,783 --> 00:04:30,113 A recent poll shows 101 00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:33,493 that 24% of Americans think the show has pushed the envelope too far. 102 00:04:33,623 --> 00:04:36,743 While a whopping 76% say they don't really give a shit. 103 00:04:36,873 --> 00:04:37,903 In other news, 104 00:04:38,043 --> 00:04:41,713 a strange virus which causes victims to vomit up their intestines 105 00:04:41,843 --> 00:04:44,713 is making life shitty for a small farming community. 106 00:04:44,843 --> 00:04:46,253 Rick Watts has the story. 107 00:04:46,383 --> 00:04:50,053 Thanks, Tom. Shit is certainly going down here in this small town of... 108 00:04:53,223 --> 00:04:54,223 Whoa. Shit. 109 00:04:56,103 --> 00:04:58,643 All right, children. In lieu of the common usage, 110 00:04:58,773 --> 00:05:02,023 I'm supposed to clarify the school's position on the word "shit." 111 00:05:02,153 --> 00:05:03,693 Wow! We can say "shit" in school now? 112 00:05:03,823 --> 00:05:04,903 Oh, this is ridiculous. 113 00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:06,773 Just because they say it on TV, it's all right? 114 00:05:06,903 --> 00:05:10,113 Yes, but only in the figurative noun form or the adjective form. 115 00:05:10,993 --> 00:05:13,403 You can only use it in the non-literal sense. 116 00:05:13,543 --> 00:05:14,573 For instance, 117 00:05:14,703 --> 00:05:17,873 "That's a shitty picture of me" is now fine. 118 00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:22,633 However, the literal noun form of "This is a picture of shit" is still naughty. 119 00:05:22,753 --> 00:05:24,253 - I don't get it. - Me, neither. 120 00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:26,593 The adjective form is now also acceptable. 121 00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:29,803 For example, "The weather outside is shitty." 122 00:05:30,183 --> 00:05:33,053 However, the literal adjective is not appropriate. 123 00:05:33,223 --> 00:05:34,223 For example, 124 00:05:34,353 --> 00:05:37,723 "My bad diarrhea made the inside of the toilet bowl shitty 125 00:05:37,983 --> 00:05:41,263 "and I had to clean it with a rag, which then also became shitty." 126 00:05:41,403 --> 00:05:42,683 That's right out. 127 00:05:44,653 --> 00:05:46,983 - Shit! - Very good, Timmy. 128 00:05:47,783 --> 00:05:50,573 Ms Choksondik, can we say it in the expletive? 129 00:05:50,703 --> 00:05:53,193 Like "Oh, shit" or "Shit on a shingle"? 130 00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:54,823 Yes, that's now fine. 131 00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:57,083 Wow, this is gonna be great! A whole new word! 132 00:05:57,213 --> 00:06:01,213 It's not new. I'm gonna look "shit" up in the encyclopedia and prove it. 133 00:06:01,343 --> 00:06:03,883 Don't mind Kyle, everyone. He's just got a little sand in his vagina. 134 00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:07,793 - There's no sand in my vagina! - Boys, watch your language. Shit. 135 00:06:08,763 --> 00:06:11,763 And so, children, instead of saying "Hand in your papers", 136 00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:15,343 I may now say, "Hand in your shit." Any questions? 137 00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:18,733 - What about "I have to take a shit"? - No! No, Filmore. 138 00:06:18,863 --> 00:06:21,733 You can say "I have to poop and shit" or "Oh, shit, I have to poop", 139 00:06:21,863 --> 00:06:24,023 but not "I have to shit." Are we all clear? 140 00:06:24,153 --> 00:06:26,643 - No. - Look, it's all about context. 141 00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:29,653 Well, for example, recently I have come out 142 00:06:29,783 --> 00:06:31,913 and admitted that I was a homosexual. 143 00:06:32,123 --> 00:06:35,653 I'm gay. That means that now I can say the word 144 00:06:36,123 --> 00:06:37,163 "fag." 145 00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:41,043 On television they usually don't allow "fag" 146 00:06:41,173 --> 00:06:43,293 but because I'm gay, it's all right. 147 00:06:43,423 --> 00:06:45,883 And with the new approval of the word "shit", 148 00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:48,933 that means that finally I am free to say, 149 00:06:49,473 --> 00:06:54,383 "Hey there, shitty, shitty fag-fag Shitty, shitty fag-fag, how do you do? 150 00:06:54,523 --> 00:06:59,063 "Hey there, shitty, shitty fag-fag Shitty, shitty fag-fag, how do you do?" 151 00:06:59,443 --> 00:07:00,603 Oh, this is great. 152 00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,823 Well, that store has such lovely shit. 153 00:07:05,953 --> 00:07:09,033 Yeah, too bad I don't have shit for cash right now. 154 00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:11,123 Oh, looks like the weather might turn shitty. 155 00:07:11,243 --> 00:07:12,493 Oh, I don't really give a shit. 156 00:07:12,623 --> 00:07:14,783 I've done enough shit outside today and shit. 157 00:07:14,923 --> 00:07:18,623 - Shit, Peter, you look like shit. - Oh, shit, I feel like shit. I think I... 158 00:07:20,093 --> 00:07:22,923 - Holy shit. - Did you see that shit? 159 00:07:23,053 --> 00:07:24,463 What kind of shit is this? 160 00:07:24,593 --> 00:07:26,383 - That is some weird shit. - Suzy, your shit's ready. 161 00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:27,843 Hey, do you know where this shit goes? 162 00:07:27,973 --> 00:07:29,763 - Shit if I know. - Nice going, shit-for-brains. 163 00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:31,723 Old Macdonald took a shit E- l-E-l-O 164 00:07:31,853 --> 00:07:32,853 Don't shit. 165 00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:59,873 "Hey there, shitty, shitty fag-fag Shitty, shitty fag-fag, how do you do? 166 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,083 "Hey there..." 167 00:08:01,213 --> 00:08:04,333 - Oh, shit, excuse me. - Hey, watch it, fag. 168 00:08:04,473 --> 00:08:07,013 - What did you call me? - I called you a fag. 169 00:08:07,143 --> 00:08:10,803 Because I'm gay and that means I'm free to use the word "fag". 170 00:08:11,063 --> 00:08:13,133 So piss off, you fag-shitter. 171 00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:19,063 "So hey there, shitty, shitty fag-fag Shitty, shitty fag-fag..." 172 00:08:19,483 --> 00:08:22,243 This sucks. Now that "shit's" out, it isn't fun to say it any more. 173 00:08:22,363 --> 00:08:24,113 Yeah, they've taken all the fun out of "shit." 174 00:08:24,243 --> 00:08:25,483 We're gonna have to start saying other bad words, 175 00:08:25,623 --> 00:08:28,783 - like "cock" and... and "meecrob." - What's "meecrob"? 176 00:08:28,913 --> 00:08:31,993 You know, that stuff you get as a appetizer at Thai food restaurants? 177 00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:34,113 Meecrob tastes way grosser than shit, dude. 178 00:08:34,253 --> 00:08:37,673 I'd scarf down a wet bucketful of shit before I ate another plate of meecrob. 179 00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:40,673 You guys, you guys! I looked up the word "shit". 180 00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:42,213 I think it might have something to do 181 00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:43,843 - with people dying. - What? 182 00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:45,633 Haven't you noticed everyone getting sick? 183 00:08:45,763 --> 00:08:47,883 It all started when they said "shit" on television. 184 00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:51,513 - Oh, Kyle, you are so full of meecrob. - I am not full of... What? 185 00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:54,933 Look, the word "shit" first showed up in English in the 1340s. 186 00:08:55,063 --> 00:08:57,523 The same time as something called the Black Death. 187 00:08:57,653 --> 00:08:58,933 - What's that? - Kyle, do you still have 188 00:08:59,073 --> 00:09:00,983 sand in your vagina about us not going to Lion King with you? 189 00:09:01,113 --> 00:09:02,573 I mean, shit, dude. Let it go. 190 00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:05,953 Look, it might be coincidence, but I think we better ask someone. Come on. 191 00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:18,173 A 75 share. My God, I never thought it was possible. 192 00:09:18,303 --> 00:09:21,253 Sir, your "shit" idea has turned the entire network around. 193 00:09:21,383 --> 00:09:22,923 We're proud to work for you. 194 00:09:23,053 --> 00:09:26,923 Sir, I'd just like to take this opportunity, and I'm sure I speak for all of us 195 00:09:27,063 --> 00:09:30,553 when I say you are the most creative genius in Hollywood 196 00:09:30,893 --> 00:09:33,473 and, well, I'd let you have me if you wanted. 197 00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,763 Thanks, Roger, but I've only just started. 198 00:09:35,903 --> 00:09:39,023 You see, I've already figured out our new marketing scheme technique 199 00:09:39,153 --> 00:09:41,773 - for the next run of shows. - Oh, he's unstoppable. 200 00:09:41,903 --> 00:09:43,403 - What's the new idea? - I can hardly wait. 201 00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:44,693 I'm about to piss myself. 202 00:09:44,993 --> 00:09:47,613 This Saturday on HBC 203 00:09:47,873 --> 00:09:50,443 we're going to say "shit"... 204 00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:52,583 twice. 205 00:09:54,423 --> 00:09:55,663 - Twice! - Brilliant. 206 00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:59,003 - Think of the repetition! - It's like saying it once, but double. 207 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,593 Well, gentlemen, let's get on it. 208 00:10:03,553 --> 00:10:08,213 Baby, you are so fine and shit The shit you do, the shit you say 209 00:10:08,353 --> 00:10:10,473 I'd jump on your shit any day 210 00:10:10,733 --> 00:10:13,023 - Oh, hello, there, children. - Hey, Chef. 211 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,693 Chef, do you know where "shit" comes from? 212 00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:16,773 From your ass, children. 213 00:10:16,903 --> 00:10:19,573 - No, no, no. The word "shit." - Oh. 214 00:10:19,693 --> 00:10:22,233 Detective Sandy Vagina here thinks that "shit" might have 215 00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:23,863 something to do with everyone getting sick. 216 00:10:23,993 --> 00:10:25,903 It said in my book that the word "shit" started 217 00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:28,413 the exact same time as something called the Black Death. 218 00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:30,863 The Black Death? Are you sure? 219 00:10:31,003 --> 00:10:34,123 - What's the Black Death, Chef? - La Toya Jackson, children. 220 00:10:34,253 --> 00:10:35,333 - Oh. - Oh. 221 00:10:35,463 --> 00:10:39,383 But I think back in those days it meant something else. The plague. 222 00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:44,753 It says here the word "shit" has been around for over 600 years. 223 00:10:44,893 --> 00:10:47,213 It comes from the Anglo-Saxon word "scite". 224 00:10:47,353 --> 00:10:50,773 Right, but in the 1340s people in England stopped calling it "scite" 225 00:10:50,893 --> 00:10:54,183 and started calling it "shit". The same year as the black plague. 226 00:10:54,313 --> 00:10:56,693 This is the oldest book in the library. 227 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,603 A priceless original of England's history. 228 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,453 Just about everything you could want to know 229 00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:04,193 about the plague is in this great tome. 230 00:11:05,663 --> 00:11:06,693 Oh, shit. 231 00:11:07,163 --> 00:11:09,873 Well, this other book has some good information, too. 232 00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:14,253 Over half of Europe was killed by it. 233 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,883 Look, they're puking out their intestines, just like the people here. 234 00:11:17,013 --> 00:11:18,083 Look at this, children. 235 00:11:18,223 --> 00:11:20,973 It says the people in England believed that the plague was a curse. 236 00:11:21,093 --> 00:11:25,303 A dark, magic infliction brought on by a mass utterance of a word of curse. 237 00:11:25,973 --> 00:11:28,463 - Word of curse? - A curse word. 238 00:11:28,603 --> 00:11:30,183 Of course. I've never even thought 239 00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:32,773 about why we use the term "curse word" before. 240 00:11:32,903 --> 00:11:35,443 Because it brings a curse? Like the Black Death. 241 00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:37,693 You guys, look here. In this Nancy Drew mystery, 242 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:40,493 Nancy goes to the beach and gets sand trapped in her shoe. 243 00:11:40,613 --> 00:11:43,193 This could explain how Kyle got it in his vagina. 244 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:45,453 - Cartman, this is serious! - So am I, Kyle. 245 00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,493 If that sand in your vagina doesn't get released, 246 00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,363 you could become a walking time bomb. 247 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:53,323 If you don't mind, I'll have to close up now. 248 00:11:53,503 --> 00:11:56,343 They're going to say "shit" seven times on HBC and I... 249 00:11:57,723 --> 00:11:59,713 - Holy shit! - Gross. 250 00:11:59,843 --> 00:12:01,973 Dude, this plague is spreading like wildfire. 251 00:12:05,853 --> 00:12:08,603 - Kenny's got it. - We gotta do something, Chef. 252 00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:12,513 If we don't stop that network, "shit" will become an even more acceptable word. 253 00:12:12,653 --> 00:12:14,693 Children, we've got to warn those producers in Hollywood 254 00:12:14,823 --> 00:12:17,393 that the plague and "shit" could be linked. 255 00:12:20,743 --> 00:12:22,983 Hello, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. 256 00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:24,943 If you look out the right side of the aircraft, 257 00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:27,323 you can see some interesting shit. 258 00:12:27,463 --> 00:12:30,493 And over on the left side there's some interesting shit, too. 259 00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:33,253 We should be arriving in Los Angeles in about two hours. 260 00:12:33,383 --> 00:12:36,883 Until then, we invite you to sit back, relax and enjoy our shitty service. 261 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,593 God damn it, Kenny. Don't get your plague germs on me. 262 00:12:39,723 --> 00:12:41,383 Cartman, stop being an asshole. 263 00:12:50,903 --> 00:12:53,523 The ratings are in, sir. We broke another record last night 264 00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:56,113 with the show that said "shit" seven times. 265 00:12:57,493 --> 00:13:01,113 Where is the roof on this thing? I mean, how can we top ourselves now? 266 00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:05,743 Gentlemen, I have it. The end-all greatest marketing ploy of all time. 267 00:13:08,173 --> 00:13:12,583 Tonight on HBC, we will air all our sitcoms live 268 00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:16,673 and have everyone say "shit" in place of their written lines. 269 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,593 And we'll call it "Must Shit TV". 270 00:13:19,763 --> 00:13:21,883 - Bravo. - "Night of a Million Shits". 271 00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:25,853 - Now, doing this live will be difficult so... - Hold on a minute, Mr. Producer. 272 00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:27,353 - Who are you? - My name is Chef 273 00:13:27,483 --> 00:13:30,683 and these are the children. We've come to warn you about "shit". 274 00:13:31,113 --> 00:13:33,433 Oh, brother, another Christian protest group. 275 00:13:33,573 --> 00:13:35,733 - Who wants to take this one? - I'll get it. 276 00:13:35,863 --> 00:13:38,073 Gentleman, we appreciate your concern. 277 00:13:38,203 --> 00:13:39,533 Here at HBC the general goal is providing 278 00:13:39,663 --> 00:13:40,743 the highest, most thought-provoking entertainment. 279 00:13:40,873 --> 00:13:41,903 How great it is that we live in a country 280 00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:43,033 where an artist can express himself freely. 281 00:13:43,163 --> 00:13:44,243 That's not only the American spirit, 282 00:13:44,373 --> 00:13:45,403 it's the HBC spirit, which allows us to make 283 00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:46,783 a great family programme like Halo the Turtle 284 00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,203 and of course everyone's favourite show, Cop Drama. 285 00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:49,583 We can't thank you enough for your concerns. 286 00:13:49,713 --> 00:13:51,753 For it is you, the loyal HBC viewer, who makes this great network 287 00:13:51,883 --> 00:13:53,503 and, indeed, the great country that it is. 288 00:13:57,183 --> 00:13:58,213 All right, now, as I was saying... 289 00:13:58,343 --> 00:14:00,633 - Hey, hold on a minute. - Are they still here? 290 00:14:00,763 --> 00:14:03,173 Haven't you people noticed all the strange things going on? 291 00:14:03,353 --> 00:14:04,433 We think that you might have caused it 292 00:14:04,563 --> 00:14:06,143 by helping make "shit" an everyday word. 293 00:14:07,773 --> 00:14:08,803 Right, right. 294 00:14:09,023 --> 00:14:11,563 It's true. We think that word might be plaguing our friend, Kenny. 295 00:14:11,693 --> 00:14:14,103 - Do you have any proof of this? - No. 296 00:14:14,243 --> 00:14:16,613 Then get out of here before we have you thrown out. 297 00:14:16,743 --> 00:14:18,733 But we can keep the Halo The Turtle dolls, right? 298 00:14:19,953 --> 00:14:21,493 Damn cracker-ass producers. 299 00:14:21,623 --> 00:14:23,863 - Now what are we gonna do, Chef? - I don't know, children. 300 00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:26,283 I guess we got to get the word out to people some other way. 301 00:14:29,543 --> 00:14:30,663 Oh, shit! 302 00:14:33,843 --> 00:14:34,923 Stand aside. 303 00:14:35,053 --> 00:14:36,043 All right. Now we have to get 304 00:14:36,183 --> 00:14:38,633 all our biggest names to say "shit" and then we're gonna... 305 00:14:38,763 --> 00:14:40,223 Halt your evil plans! 306 00:14:41,103 --> 00:14:45,233 I possess the rune stone of undoing. Who is in charge here? 307 00:14:46,643 --> 00:14:50,773 Oh, no. You guys didn't hire me a stripper for my birthday. 308 00:14:50,903 --> 00:14:52,643 Oh, tell me you guys didn't. 309 00:14:52,783 --> 00:14:55,813 Show your true form, Geldon, lest you be afraid. 310 00:14:55,993 --> 00:14:58,823 Your short time in this world is at an end. 311 00:15:00,913 --> 00:15:03,863 The rune stone has no effect! You are not Geldon. 312 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,493 I never said I was. 313 00:15:05,713 --> 00:15:09,243 You'll die anyway, for you have spread the word of curse. 314 00:15:10,883 --> 00:15:11,873 Security. 315 00:15:16,803 --> 00:15:18,633 - Who are you? - Take this. 316 00:15:19,223 --> 00:15:20,423 What are we supposed to do with it? 317 00:15:23,143 --> 00:15:24,143 Now what? 318 00:15:24,273 --> 00:15:26,643 We've got to find people who know what the hell this is all about. 319 00:15:26,773 --> 00:15:30,523 Children, we're gonna have to go to the land of castles, knights, and kings. 320 00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:40,193 Lords and ladies, we bid you welcome to the grandest casino in the land, 321 00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:41,793 Excalibur. 322 00:15:44,213 --> 00:15:46,743 Take a free spin. Double your odds. 323 00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:50,173 - Excuse me. Do you work here? - How can I help you, noble sir? 324 00:15:50,303 --> 00:15:52,703 We need some help identifying an ancient English stone. 325 00:15:52,843 --> 00:15:55,593 - A what? - It might hold the key to a curse. 326 00:15:56,803 --> 00:16:00,303 I can help get you some credit or a comp meal, perhaps. 327 00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:04,103 - Dude, we need help from the British. - Look, kid. This is just a casino. 328 00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:05,433 I can't help you. You know, 329 00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:09,353 not every British person knows about wizards and dragons and curses. 330 00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:11,773 We just need help identifying this. 331 00:16:11,993 --> 00:16:14,693 A rune stone of Gaelic. Where did you get this? 332 00:16:14,823 --> 00:16:15,853 You know what it is? 333 00:16:15,993 --> 00:16:19,993 The Skyre once spoke of such a stone. Come, we must see the sorcerer. 334 00:16:22,003 --> 00:16:24,623 Get ready for "Must Shit TV". 335 00:16:24,753 --> 00:16:29,963 Starting now, four straight hours of pure shit. It's all live. 336 00:16:30,093 --> 00:16:31,463 Hey. Shit. 337 00:16:33,883 --> 00:16:36,043 - Shit. - Yeah. You ain't shit. 338 00:16:38,013 --> 00:16:40,343 This is it. My greatest work. 339 00:16:40,773 --> 00:16:42,973 Cocktails. Cocktails. 340 00:16:43,483 --> 00:16:45,273 These Americans wish to see the Skyre. 341 00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:47,523 Let us make haste to the inner sanctum. 342 00:16:47,653 --> 00:16:50,483 How could you foolish Americans bring the wrath of Skorne 343 00:16:50,613 --> 00:16:53,103 by mass chanting the word of wretchedness? 344 00:16:53,363 --> 00:16:55,113 Yeah, we didn't mean to. 345 00:16:55,243 --> 00:16:58,033 Didn't you realize "shit" is a curse word? 346 00:16:58,163 --> 00:17:01,693 Well, yeah, but I don't think we knew that curse word meant curse word. 347 00:17:02,663 --> 00:17:06,883 Leave it to Americans to think that "no" means "yes," "pissed" means "angry" 348 00:17:07,003 --> 00:17:10,623 and "curse word" means something other than a word that's cursed. 349 00:17:14,343 --> 00:17:15,923 Let me see the stone. 350 00:17:16,053 --> 00:17:18,463 But I don't get it. People use curse words all the time. 351 00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:21,143 Saying a word of curse once in a while does nothing. 352 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,263 It's only when spoken repeatedly and en masse 353 00:17:23,393 --> 00:17:25,053 that the curse takes place. 354 00:17:25,193 --> 00:17:26,683 I've seen this before. 355 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,853 Stones that were used by the Knights of Standards and Practices. 356 00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:31,813 Knights of Standards and Practices? 357 00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:35,733 A legion of men sworn to do whatever necessary to keep the words at bay. 358 00:17:36,033 --> 00:17:37,743 But they were just a myth. 359 00:17:37,913 --> 00:17:42,993 - You know what? You're dumb as shit. - Yeah? Well, I don't really give a shit. 360 00:17:43,503 --> 00:17:45,163 You know, that word's getting kind of old. 361 00:17:45,293 --> 00:17:46,873 It's not really funny any more. 362 00:17:47,003 --> 00:17:49,713 Yeah, they're gonna have to come up with a new swear word soon. 363 00:17:49,843 --> 00:17:51,383 Well, they can't use "fag" 364 00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:54,383 because you can't say "fag" unless you're a homosexual. 365 00:17:54,513 --> 00:17:57,843 - Really? So we can't say... - No, see, you got beeped. 366 00:17:58,393 --> 00:18:01,313 You mean you have to be a... to say... 367 00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:02,513 That's right. 368 00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:06,313 Well, that's not fair. I should be able to say fag. 369 00:18:06,443 --> 00:18:07,823 Hey, you didn't get beeped. 370 00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:11,493 Well, well, well. Guess we learned something new about you, Jimbo. 371 00:18:11,613 --> 00:18:14,023 You frigging fag. You wanna make out or something? 372 00:18:14,163 --> 00:18:15,953 Oh, man, I am up shit creek. 373 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,323 Serves you right, shit-for-brains. 374 00:18:18,453 --> 00:18:22,833 - Man, how could I be such a dumb... - Say not the word of curse! 375 00:18:25,383 --> 00:18:26,923 - What the... - Holy shit! 376 00:18:27,383 --> 00:18:30,083 Oh, boy, this show is really reaching for plot now. 377 00:18:30,303 --> 00:18:33,003 The Knights were formed to keep curse words to a minimum. 378 00:18:33,143 --> 00:18:35,633 Should a curse word ever be let out, they would return. 379 00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:38,223 A rune stone for each word of curse was made, 380 00:18:38,353 --> 00:18:41,303 representing each of the eight words that so offended God. 381 00:18:41,443 --> 00:18:43,233 - Look, there's the F word. - And "asshole". 382 00:18:43,353 --> 00:18:46,193 I knew it! "Meecrob". Meecrob is a curse word. 383 00:18:46,323 --> 00:18:48,693 - God must hate it as much as I do. - Look at this. 384 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:52,573 The writing here claims this stone can defeat the evil Geldon 385 00:18:52,703 --> 00:18:54,693 who'll rise when the word of curse has been said 386 00:18:54,823 --> 00:18:56,533 enough times to give him power. 387 00:18:56,663 --> 00:18:58,533 Then all the world will be destroyed. 388 00:18:58,663 --> 00:19:00,573 - All the world destroyed? - My house, too? 389 00:19:00,713 --> 00:19:01,993 - Oh, no. - What? 390 00:19:02,293 --> 00:19:04,753 Tonight is the "Night of a Million Shits" on HBC. 391 00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:07,003 It's gonna be said over and over. 392 00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,043 Then we haven't much time. We must go. 393 00:19:09,173 --> 00:19:13,593 - Turn off those devices of broadcast. - What is going on here? Stop this shit. 394 00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:16,593 We are the Royal Order of Standards and Practices. 395 00:19:16,853 --> 00:19:19,853 We command you to stop saying the curse word. 396 00:19:20,103 --> 00:19:23,393 Listen, Mr. Shiny Pants, I am the head of this network. 397 00:19:23,523 --> 00:19:26,013 And I will say "shit" all I want. 398 00:19:26,363 --> 00:19:28,603 Shit. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. 399 00:19:53,553 --> 00:19:55,433 Oh, shit. 400 00:19:56,813 --> 00:20:00,853 And now back to "Must Shit TV", here on HBC. 401 00:20:03,233 --> 00:20:07,103 It's too strong. We cannot fight it without the rune stone. 402 00:20:07,443 --> 00:20:08,473 My God, sir. 403 00:20:08,613 --> 00:20:10,523 What have you unleashed upon the world? 404 00:20:10,663 --> 00:20:14,323 I didn't know. I didn't know! 405 00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:18,653 I can't follow this shitty storyline at all. 406 00:20:18,793 --> 00:20:19,873 Wait! 407 00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:24,003 Oh, boy, that thing has really got sand in its vagina. 408 00:20:24,133 --> 00:20:26,883 The rune stone! Face it towards Geldon! 409 00:20:30,843 --> 00:20:33,713 Dude, lame! Lame. Bummer, dude. 410 00:20:34,103 --> 00:20:37,473 - What a stupid voice. - It's okay. The curse has been lifted. 411 00:20:38,983 --> 00:20:41,433 Yeah. We all gotta make sure it doesn't come back. 412 00:20:41,563 --> 00:20:43,063 See, we've learned something today. 413 00:20:43,193 --> 00:20:46,773 Swearing can be fun, but doing it all the time causes a lot of problems. 414 00:20:46,993 --> 00:20:49,113 We're all saying the S word too much. 415 00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:50,353 Kyle. 416 00:20:50,493 --> 00:20:52,613 Look, Gerald. Kyle's on television. 417 00:20:53,123 --> 00:20:54,993 The Knights of Standards and Practices were created 418 00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:56,993 to make sure that bad words were kept to a minimum. 419 00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,243 Curse words. They're called that because they are cursed. 420 00:21:00,373 --> 00:21:03,993 We have to go back to only using curse words in rare, extreme circumstances. 421 00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:06,253 And, besides, too much use of a dirty word takes away 422 00:21:06,383 --> 00:21:07,413 from its impact. 423 00:21:07,553 --> 00:21:09,543 We believe in free speech and all that, 424 00:21:09,683 --> 00:21:12,303 but making a few words taboo just adds to the fun of English. 425 00:21:12,433 --> 00:21:14,173 So, please, everyone, 426 00:21:14,313 --> 00:21:16,553 from now on you've got to try and watch your language. 427 00:21:17,983 --> 00:21:19,473 - Yeah. - He's right. 428 00:21:19,603 --> 00:21:20,633 - Yeah. - Yeah. 429 00:21:20,773 --> 00:21:22,273 - It makes sense. - They're right. 430 00:21:22,403 --> 00:21:24,193 Is this still part of the show? 431 00:21:24,323 --> 00:21:26,893 We're sorry, noble Knights of Standards and Practices. 432 00:21:27,033 --> 00:21:30,903 - From now on, we will obey your laws. - See that you do. 433 00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:32,693 I'm very proud of you, children. 434 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,663 Let's all go home and find a nice white woman to make love to. 435 00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:39,043 - Yeah. And Kenny didn't die. - Yeah. I didn't... 436 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,993 Holy... poop. 437 00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,123 I love you guys.