1 00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:08,741 Captioning made possible by comedy central 2 00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,276 ? I'm going down to south park? 3 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,912 ? Gonna have myself a time? 4 00:00:11,947 --> 00:00:13,478 ? Friendly faces everywhere? 5 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,248 ? Humble folks without temptation? 6 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,783 ? Going down to south park? 7 00:00:16,818 --> 00:00:18,418 ? Gonna leave my woes behind? 8 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,019 ? Ample parking day or night? 9 00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:21,754 ? People spouting "howdy neighbor"? 10 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,506 ? Headin' on up to south park? 11 00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:25,224 ? Gonna see if i can't unwind? 12 00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:29,562 ? So come on down to south park? 13 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,164 ? And meet some friends of mine? 14 00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:37,570 Okay now, lift your chin a little. 15 00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,305 Look right here, right here. 16 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:40,606 Hey, where's my smile? 17 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,775 Come on, i bet you got a smile for me. 18 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,510 I'm starting to see a smile. 19 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,776 There it is. 20 00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:47,763 Okay, great, next! 21 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,715 I didn't smile. 22 00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:52,717 I hate picture day at school! 23 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:54,018 It's always some gay-Ass photographer 24 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:56,656 With some gay-Ass backdrop of new england. 25 00:00:57,523 --> 00:00:58,356 Hang on a second. 26 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,692 My mom said to make sure i look good this time 27 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,728 In the school pictures. 28 00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,198 Okay, smile. 29 00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,801 Okay, next. 30 00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:10,536 Did you go yet? No. 31 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:11,802 This is taking forever. 32 00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:14,440 You guys, you guys, this is so funny! 33 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,273 What, cartman? 34 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:16,175 Dude, check it out. 35 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,344 For picture day, kenny got into his parka backwards 36 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,079 So that his ass shows through his hood, look! 37 00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,814 Kenny, come over here. 38 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,887 It isn't that funny, cartman. 39 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:28,772 Yes, it is. 40 00:01:28,807 --> 00:01:29,622 Next in line. 41 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,791 Come on, let's keep it moving, kids. 42 00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:33,526 Don't listen to that jew, kenny, 43 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,226 It's totally funny. 44 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,562 Take off your hat, please. 45 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,881 But i never take off my hat. 46 00:01:37,916 --> 00:01:39,130 Come on now, i bet your parents 47 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,466 Want a picture of you looking natural. 48 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:41,767 Thisishow i look natural. 49 00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:43,936 Kyle, we're taking pictures without hats today! 50 00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:45,671 Crap. 51 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:47,840 Smile! 52 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,792 Come on, where's that smile? 53 00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:51,310 Is it gonna kill ya to smile? 54 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,178 I see a smile. 55 00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:54,347 Next! 56 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,082 Gay-Ass. 57 00:01:56,949 --> 00:02:00,419 Very nice. Okay, last one. 58 00:02:02,154 --> 00:02:03,456 Uh-Oh. 59 00:02:03,889 --> 00:02:06,058 Okay, have a seat, young man. 60 00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:11,662 Okay, looking great. 61 00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:13,397 Now, where's that smile? 62 00:02:13,432 --> 00:02:16,035 Come on, give me a nice wide smile. 63 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,570 Wider. 64 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,036 Perfect. 65 00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:20,373 How long 'til we get the pictures back? 66 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:21,639 Should be about four days. 67 00:02:21,674 --> 00:02:24,276 Four days, oh man, i can't wait that long! 68 00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:30,748 Come on, come on, come on, come on... 69 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:33,386 All right, class, i have your school photos to hand out. 70 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,652 Yes, yes! 71 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,205 Most of them are very nice. 72 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,688 But, apparently one of you 73 00:02:37,723 --> 00:02:39,892 Thinks it's fun to spoil their school pictures 74 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,592 And thinks he's a comedian. 75 00:02:41,627 --> 00:02:43,362 That person will be spending the afternoon 76 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,062 In the principal's office. 77 00:02:45,097 --> 00:02:45,930 Hey, that's b- Llshit! 78 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,266 School photos aren't for joking around, 79 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,435 So you aren't getting your photos back, 80 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,135 Butters! 81 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,339 Me? But i didn't do nothin'. 82 00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,206 For the rest of you 83 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,941 I think your pictures turned out very nicely. 84 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:56,809 But- 85 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,544 But hey, wait a minute. 86 00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,279 Let me see! 87 00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,882 But teacher, i didn't mean to look stupid in my picture, 88 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,051 Honest. 89 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:11,557 Dude, dude, check it out. 90 00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:13,292 This is the sweetest thing i've ever done. 91 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,558 You'veever done? 92 00:03:14,593 --> 00:03:16,762 Look how the crack is centered right in the middle! 93 00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:18,896 Eric, calm down, 94 00:03:18,931 --> 00:03:20,197 I'm trying to yell at butters. 95 00:03:20,232 --> 00:03:22,366 Oh yeah, i'm sorry, miss chokson-Rocks. 96 00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:25,004 You know very well my name isn't chokson-Rocks, 97 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:26,704 It's choksondik! 98 00:03:26,739 --> 00:03:28,908 Say it right or you can go to the principal with butters. 99 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:30,643 I'm sorry, miss choksondik. 100 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,378 I tried to make a good picture, honest. 101 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,980 Your mother is waiting for you in the principal's office. 102 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:35,813 My mom? 103 00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:37,366 Oh, sweet jesus. 104 00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:38,849 Oh, oh my god. 105 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:41,053 More people have to see this picture, you guys. 106 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,354 I've gotta to put it on the internet. 107 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,621 No, wait. 108 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:46,692 Kenny, i just had the greatest idea, ever. 109 00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:52,765 Welcome to south park milk company, 110 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:53,867 Can i help you. 111 00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:54,899 Oh yes, hello. 112 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:56,886 I am helping out a family who has a missing child 113 00:03:56,921 --> 00:03:58,838 And i was wondering if you could print his photo 114 00:03:58,873 --> 00:04:01,006 On your milk cartons? 115 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,273 Oh, of course. 116 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,043 Printing those photos on our milk really does help. 117 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,995 Do you have the photo with you? 118 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:07,513 Yes, i have it right h'nyah. 119 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,814 Okay, great. 120 00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,116 We'll print it immediately. 121 00:04:10,151 --> 00:04:11,417 You will? 122 00:04:12,718 --> 00:04:15,321 Thank you for your help. 123 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,153 Sure. 124 00:04:16,188 --> 00:04:17,490 If i could just get a description of the child 125 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,225 To print underneath the photo. 126 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,526 Description... oh yes. 127 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,695 He has blonde hair. 128 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,731 And a brown eye. 129 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,418 A brown eye. 130 00:04:29,453 --> 00:04:30,936 Okay, brown eye. 131 00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:33,973 And big, rosy cheeks. 132 00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:34,840 Full cheeks. 133 00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:38,275 Full cheeks! 134 00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,913 Winking brown eye, brown eye's winking. 135 00:04:42,648 --> 00:04:44,383 Ms. Hamilton was the fourth person 136 00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,552 To be run over by a motorcycle this week, 137 00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:49,155 Leaving a city to ponder, "who will be next?" 138 00:04:51,323 --> 00:04:52,191 Hello. 139 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,661 You guys, you guys... 140 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,396 Hello? 141 00:05:00,432 --> 00:05:02,601 Cartman? 142 00:05:03,035 --> 00:05:05,603 Hurry. 143 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,505 What's he want? 144 00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:08,674 I don't know, let's go see. 145 00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:15,614 Why'd you call us? 146 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,150 Come on, come on. 147 00:05:17,185 --> 00:05:18,651 It's so sweet. 148 00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:20,820 You guys, stan, here, this is so sweet. 149 00:05:20,855 --> 00:05:22,555 God damn it, cartman, what? 150 00:05:29,061 --> 00:05:31,230 You put kenny's picture on a milk carton? 151 00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:32,531 Look at the descriptions. 152 00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:33,833 Brown eye! 153 00:05:36,435 --> 00:05:37,303 That isn't funny, cartman. 154 00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:39,038 Oh, it's so completely funny. 155 00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:41,206 It's totally funny. 156 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,907 No, it's not, cartman. 157 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:44,243 You know, there really are couples out there 158 00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:45,978 Who are missing children. 159 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,244 No there aren't. 160 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,882 Jesus, grow up, you guys. 161 00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:02,027 Oh my god... 162 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,727 Oh my god! 163 00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:05,931 Steven, steven, come quick! 164 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,467 What is it, martha? 165 00:06:07,502 --> 00:06:09,319 Look, it's him. 166 00:06:09,354 --> 00:06:11,136 It's... our son. 167 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,872 Our son?! 168 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,278 And so that's when i called out to my husband. 169 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,881 I just knew the boy pictured on your milk carton 170 00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:24,483 Was our little tommy. 171 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,218 Yes, i see. 172 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:29,255 But the child on the milk carton was reported missing, 173 00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:30,556 Not found. 174 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:31,857 We realize that. 175 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,243 But we just thought that maybe someone else 176 00:06:34,278 --> 00:06:36,104 Had found tommy and then lost him again. 177 00:06:36,139 --> 00:06:37,902 We're pretty certain that it's our boy, 178 00:06:37,937 --> 00:06:40,102 Considering his physical appearance. 179 00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:42,268 Martha and i have the same condition. 180 00:06:42,303 --> 00:06:43,968 Right. 181 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,304 You may not have realized it, 182 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,774 But we actually have buttocks where our heads should be. 183 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,309 Really? 184 00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:51,775 Yes. 185 00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:53,112 Steve and i have a condition called 186 00:06:53,545 --> 00:06:54,847 "Torsonic polarity syndrome". 187 00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,883 It's a birth defect that's passed on genetically. 188 00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:00,920 Over 11 people worldwide suffer from t.P.S. 189 00:07:00,955 --> 00:07:03,956 Mmm, mmm, that's amazing. 190 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,125 Martha and i were lucky enough to meet each other 191 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,294 At a t.P.S. Convention in france. 192 00:07:08,727 --> 00:07:10,896 So, ah, do you have heads 193 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,065 Down where your rear end should be? 194 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,366 No, no, don't be silly. 195 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,836 You see, with t.P.S. The birth defect is on the exterior only. 196 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,005 Behind this we still have all our vital head organs- 197 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,174 Tongue, eyes, nasal passages. 198 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,909 Well, mr. And mrs... 199 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,445 Uh, thompson. 200 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:26,911 Thompson. 201 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,114 I'll contact the young boy who gave me the photo 202 00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:31,283 And perhaps we can all visit him together. 203 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,549 Oh, wonderful! 204 00:07:32,584 --> 00:07:34,753 Steven, we're going to see tommy again. 205 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,621 Now, martha, 206 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,790 What did i say about getting your hopes up? 207 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,392 You're right, you're right. 208 00:07:42,127 --> 00:07:46,031 Okay, cartman, what do you want this time? 209 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,333 Oh, you guys, you guys. 210 00:07:47,368 --> 00:07:48,599 Oh my god. 211 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,369 Okay, okay, so get this, get this. 212 00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,069 The milk company calls me, right? 213 00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:55,140 They call me and say that two people from wisconsin 214 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,309 Saw the picture of kenny on the milk carton 215 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,478 And they think it's their kid. 216 00:08:02,514 --> 00:08:03,816 Dude, that's not funny if they're missing their son. 217 00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:05,516 No, no, no, no. 218 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:06,852 Because apparently these two people 219 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:09,455 Also kind of look like they have butts 220 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,623 Where their heads should be. 221 00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:14,660 Nah-Uh! 222 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:15,926 Oh yes! 223 00:08:15,961 --> 00:08:17,227 And the best part is, 224 00:08:17,262 --> 00:08:18,998 They're coming here to my house. 225 00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:20,733 And it is gonna be so funny! 226 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,203 Oh jeez, that's probably them now. 227 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:25,938 Okay, you guys, just play it good. 228 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,540 Just, shh, no, you guys. 229 00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,746 Okay, okay- Shh... 230 00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:41,120 Hello, we're mr. And mrs. Thompson. 231 00:08:45,891 --> 00:08:46,759 Eh. 232 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,361 Holy crap, dude. 233 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,229 No way! 234 00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:55,434 We understand you've seen our son. 235 00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:01,940 Ah, is this the right address? 236 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,640 I, i don't... 237 00:09:03,675 --> 00:09:05,411 Cartman, where are you going? 238 00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:11,483 Excuse me, do you boys know anything about this? 239 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,585 Ah, uhh... 240 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:13,617 Oh boy. 241 00:09:13,652 --> 00:09:14,953 Look, if you want an explanation 242 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,255 You better go to kenny's house. 243 00:09:16,688 --> 00:09:17,556 Yeah, he lives about four houses away 244 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:18,857 On the bad side of town. 245 00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,026 Oh, thank you, thank you! 246 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:22,726 Well? 247 00:09:22,761 --> 00:09:24,930 They said to inquire four houses down. 248 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,665 Let's hurry! 249 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:28,834 Cartman, what the hell you doing? 250 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,135 Yeah, you missed them turning around. 251 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,870 You guys, something's wrong. 252 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:32,738 What? 253 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,774 I think i just saw the funniest thing i'll ever see. 254 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,377 And i think... i blew a funny fuse. 255 00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:40,077 Blew a funny fuse? 256 00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,714 It was just too much and my sense of humor overloaded. 257 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,751 I don't think anything will ever be funny again. 258 00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:49,221 Oh god, what have i done? 259 00:09:50,956 --> 00:09:52,656 You mean they both have butts instead of heads? 260 00:09:52,691 --> 00:09:54,426 Yeah, dude, we'll show you, they're over at kenny's. 261 00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:55,259 How do they eat? 262 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:56,595 How the hell should we know? 263 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,697 Butters, hey, butters! 264 00:09:57,732 --> 00:09:58,764 You gotta check this out! 265 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:00,065 What? 266 00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:01,583 You gotta come to kenny's house with us. 267 00:10:01,618 --> 00:10:02,668 There's these two people who have asses 268 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:03,969 Where their heads should be. 269 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,235 Ah, i can't fellas. 270 00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,005 I'm grounded for looking stupid in my school picture. 271 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,541 But, dude, you gotta see, it's hysterical. 272 00:10:08,576 --> 00:10:10,042 Butters can't come out and play, boys. 273 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,427 Hethinks it's funny to look like a jackass 274 00:10:12,462 --> 00:10:14,379 In his school pictures that i have to pay for. 275 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,646 But i told you, mom, 276 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,416 I didn't mean to look like a jackass. 277 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,682 It just happened. 278 00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:20,018 You made a goofy face. 279 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:20,851 No! 280 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,187 That's just what i look like. 281 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,887 See? 282 00:10:23,922 --> 00:10:26,959 Don't you make that face at me young man. 283 00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:29,128 I'm not making a face, mom! 284 00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:30,828 Stop it! 285 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:32,598 Come on, we wanna see the ass people. 286 00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:34,332 All right. 287 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,599 Fine, butters, 288 00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,369 If you don't wanna stop making that stupid face at me 289 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,538 You can just stay in your room for another week. 290 00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:40,839 Another week? 291 00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:43,442 I hate my stupid face. 292 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,877 Okay, eric, as your counselor, 293 00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:50,816 I want you to feel comfortable talking about anything, m'kay. 294 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,852 Mr. Mackey, is it possible that you can see something so funny 295 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,986 That it ruins your sense of humor forever? 296 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:58,624 Well, i can't think of anything that would bethatfunny. 297 00:10:59,057 --> 00:11:00,324 Two people with asses for heads. 298 00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:02,961 Ever since i saw them i can't laugh at anything. 299 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:03,794 Oh, i see. 300 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,998 Well, what did you used to think was funny? 301 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,299 You know, all the usual stuff- 302 00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,902 Dirty jokes, funny movies, seeing someone die. 303 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,637 This morning i even saw a little girl 304 00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:12,938 Get her fingers caught in a car door 305 00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,638 And i couldn't laugh. 306 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:17,275 I mean, i knew it was funny, but i couldn't laugh. 307 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,878 Well, eric, i suppose that just like everything else 308 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,578 Laughter can be relative. 309 00:11:21,613 --> 00:11:24,650 In other words, sometimes people see something so scary 310 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,350 That nothing else scares them, 311 00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:28,554 So the same could be true for funny things. 312 00:11:28,987 --> 00:11:30,722 So does that mean i'll never laugh again? 313 00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:32,422 It's possible, m'kay. 314 00:11:32,457 --> 00:11:35,060 But, y'know, if you have completely lost your sense of humor 315 00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:38,096 You can always become a writer for the show "friends". 316 00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:39,831 M'kay. 317 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,133 Euh! 318 00:11:42,434 --> 00:11:44,386 And so you see, our son was just playing a joke 319 00:11:44,421 --> 00:11:46,338 And the little fat kid put it on the milk carton. 320 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,038 Yes, yes, i see. 321 00:11:48,073 --> 00:11:52,411 Kenny, don't you think you owe the thompsons an apology? 322 00:11:52,844 --> 00:11:55,412 No, it was foolish for us to get our hopes up. 323 00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:58,050 It was just such a coincidence considering the photo. 324 00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,316 You may not have realized this, 325 00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:02,387 But martha and i have buttocks where our heads should be. 326 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,087 Really? Really? 327 00:12:04,122 --> 00:12:05,389 Mr. And mrs. Thompson, 328 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,159 How long has it been since you've seen your son? 329 00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:09,328 Tommy disappeared when he was only seven. 330 00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:11,028 Oh, steven! 331 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,665 It's like it's all happening all over again. 332 00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,003 There, there now. 333 00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:21,473 Please, mrs. Thompson, it'll be all right. 334 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,076 Listen, the south park milk company 335 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,342 Is the country's largest. 336 00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,112 We find lost children all the time. 337 00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:35,354 We can help you find tommy with the milk company's database! 338 00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:38,824 Yes, we'll all help you find your son. 339 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,090 Just stop crying. 340 00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,728 Please, for the love of god, stop crying! 341 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:47,499 I'm sorry, i'm sorry. 342 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,969 Mr. Thompson, how did your son become missing, 343 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,236 Was he abducted? 344 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,439 Yes, he was in the care of our nanny at the time. 345 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,608 The nanny that we trusted so much took off with him 346 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,343 And we still don't know why. 347 00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,813 We think perhaps she wanted a child of her own. 348 00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,548 And this was back in wisconsin? 349 00:13:03,982 --> 00:13:06,151 Yes, but we last heard the nanny was heading west. 350 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,754 That's why we thought colorado made sense. 351 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,506 We tried every avenue to find him, 352 00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:12,224 But we never tried the milk company. 353 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,490 Well, you just give us a try, 354 00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:15,225 I think that you'll find that south park milk 355 00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:17,429 Is not the only the best resource for finding kids, 356 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,164 But also the best producer of the freshest 357 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,333 2% low-Fat milk the world can offer. 358 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,165 Thank you. 359 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,935 Thank you so much for helping us. 360 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,671 This certainly is a friendly town. 361 00:13:26,104 --> 00:13:28,238 You've all been so wonderful. 362 00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:30,008 Yes, i'm so grateful, i just wanna cry again. 363 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,310 No! No! No! 364 00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:37,549 Dude, why are you wearing shalana's panties? 365 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,887 I had to wear shalana's panties, 366 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:44,489 Lisa's were in the wash! 367 00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:47,959 Look, can we just get this over with? 368 00:13:48,393 --> 00:13:49,695 But, dude, i can't french-Kiss him, 369 00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:51,881 He's my grandpa! 370 00:13:51,916 --> 00:13:53,997 Come on, dude. 371 00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:55,767 Oh, all right, here it goes. 372 00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,069 Come here, grandpa. 373 00:13:57,936 --> 00:13:58,804 Ohh! 374 00:13:59,237 --> 00:14:00,937 Oh, dude, oh. 375 00:14:00,972 --> 00:14:01,840 Dude, what's wrong with you? 376 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,106 Nothing's wrong with me. 377 00:14:03,141 --> 00:14:04,841 Well, i'm glad that's over with. 378 00:14:04,876 --> 00:14:07,479 We better go back to the house now to see how chris is doing. 379 00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:12,250 Heh heh. 380 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,419 Hey... ooh. 381 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,722 Mr. And mrs. Thompson, 382 00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,492 As president of the south park milk company 383 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,192 I want to apologize personally 384 00:14:22,227 --> 00:14:24,396 For printing that falsified picture on our milk cartons. 385 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,565 Please, please, it's not your fault. 386 00:14:26,998 --> 00:14:28,300 Yes, but here at south park milk 387 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,601 We strive for excellence. 388 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:33,505 For instance, we are now entering the extraction room. 389 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,373 As you can see 390 00:14:34,806 --> 00:14:35,674 We keep it close to the refrigeration room. 391 00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:37,409 That way we can get the milk to the container 392 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,675 As fast as possible. 393 00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:39,578 That's why some say south park milk 394 00:14:40,011 --> 00:14:40,879 Tastes like you're sucking it 395 00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:42,614 Right from the cow's tits yourself. 396 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:43,447 Amazing. 397 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,217 Here, try a glass of our cold vitamin "d" 398 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,518 And our fresh scones. 399 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,253 Delicious. 400 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:49,554 Oh, excuse me, 401 00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:51,289 A little difficult to drink with our condition. 402 00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:53,024 Martha and i actually have buttocks 403 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,326 Where our heads should be. 404 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,592 Really? 405 00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:57,145 Well, and in here we have our 406 00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,789 Missing child research center. 407 00:14:58,824 --> 00:15:00,399 Oh my, isn't this impressive. 408 00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:01,700 Yes, with thecowron 4000 409 00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,652 Mrs. Garthunk can search a database 410 00:15:03,687 --> 00:15:05,170 Of over 30 million missing child cases. 411 00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:07,772 We'll start the computer on a data search. 412 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,941 Now, when did your son turn up missing? 413 00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:11,641 Well, it was 1982. 414 00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:13,845 Tommy was only six at the time. 415 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,713 All right then. 416 00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,231 Computer! 417 00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:17,280 Working! 418 00:15:17,315 --> 00:15:19,050 Run a scan of missing children since 1982. 419 00:15:19,484 --> 00:15:21,653 Check for physical birth defects called t.P.S. 420 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,707 T.P.S., torsonic polarity syndrome, 421 00:15:24,742 --> 00:15:27,691 Plus missing since 1982, working! 422 00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,895 So you actually haven't seen your son in over 20 years? 423 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,196 That's right. 424 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,365 But then why did you think the picture of kenny was him? 425 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,065 Wouldn't your son be much older now? 426 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,269 Yes, but since he appeared to be at least eight in the photo... 427 00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:42,439 We assumed someone had seen him since we had. 428 00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:47,245 This is the only photo we have of our little tommy. 429 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,547 It's gonna take quite a while for the computer 430 00:15:48,582 --> 00:15:50,247 To do a scan of all missing kids. 431 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,982 Well, why don't we let miss garthunk do her work 432 00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:54,836 And i'll let you two out for some good ol' colorado chili. 433 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,656 We don't really like chili, it makes us throw up. 434 00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:01,091 Well, hello, eric. 435 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,427 I was really glad you called me, very much. 436 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,728 Jimmy, thank god, get in here! 437 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,429 What's this all about? 438 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,632 Jimmy, you've always been my favorite stand-Up comic. 439 00:16:08,066 --> 00:16:09,801 You've gotta help me, i've lost my sense of humor. 440 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,067 Gee, that's a terrible thing, eric. 441 00:16:11,102 --> 00:16:13,271 Comedy can be the best therapy, very much. 442 00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:15,006 I just have to find my funny bone again. 443 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:15,839 Just try and make me laugh. 444 00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:17,175 Oh, i don't think that will be hard. 445 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,477 I've been working on my routine. 446 00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:19,743 Okay, let me have it. 447 00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:21,296 Okay, try this one on for size. 448 00:16:21,331 --> 00:16:22,814 Why did the pigeon cross the road? 449 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,080 Okay, why? 450 00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:26,501 Because he was having sex with the chick... 451 00:16:26,536 --> 00:16:29,229 Because he was having sex with the ch-Chick... 452 00:16:29,264 --> 00:16:31,923 Because he was having sex with the ch-Ch-Ch... 453 00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,491 He was having sex with the chicken. 454 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:37,996 Nah, see, something's wrong, i'm not laughing. 455 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,297 Wow, what a great audience. 456 00:16:39,731 --> 00:16:40,815 How about this classic? 457 00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:41,900 Knock knock. Who's there? 458 00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,600 Orange. Orange who? 459 00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:45,153 Orange you glad i didn't say b... 460 00:16:45,188 --> 00:16:46,797 Orange you glad i didn't say ba... 461 00:16:46,832 --> 00:16:49,354 Orange you glad i didn't say ba-N... 462 00:16:49,389 --> 00:16:51,877 Orange you glad i didn't say ba-Nana? 463 00:16:52,744 --> 00:16:54,262 No, that didn't work either. 464 00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:55,780 Wow, what a great audience. 465 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:56,613 Knock knock. 466 00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:57,481 Who's there? 467 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:58,782 An interrupting cow. 468 00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:02,287 An interrupting cow who- Moo! 469 00:17:03,154 --> 00:17:05,757 What a terrific audience. 470 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,795 Ah, let's see. 471 00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,565 The dallas-Fort worth area, i haven't tried there yet. 472 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,667 Computer? 473 00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:15,699 Working. 474 00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,000 Scan for any children reported found 475 00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:19,638 In the dallas-Fort worth area with a facial deformity. 476 00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:20,071 Working. 477 00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:22,639 Negative. 478 00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:24,374 Oh, this is hopeless. 479 00:17:24,409 --> 00:17:25,277 Wait a minute, let's try it this way. 480 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:26,144 Computer! 481 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:27,410 Working. 482 00:17:27,445 --> 00:17:28,747 Scan data banks forchildren 483 00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:30,916 Who reported their parentsmissing. 484 00:17:30,951 --> 00:17:32,182 Working. 485 00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,917 1,006,000 hits. 486 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:36,555 All right, then break it down to claims in the past 20 years. 487 00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,688 Working. 488 00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:40,857 321,000 hits. 489 00:17:40,892 --> 00:17:42,627 All right, now run a scan on homogenized 490 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,761 Versus pasteurized skim milk. 491 00:17:44,796 --> 00:17:47,399 In skim form, homogenized has longer shelf life 492 00:17:47,832 --> 00:17:49,134 By 2.3 weeks. 493 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,400 Okay, okay. 494 00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:51,701 Now give me a breakdown 495 00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:53,003 Of people who are seeking their parents 496 00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:56,942 Who also suffer from a disease called t.P.S. 497 00:17:56,977 --> 00:17:58,642 Torsonic polarity syndrome 498 00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,412 Plus a claim not to know parents. 499 00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:02,581 One match. 500 00:18:03,014 --> 00:18:03,882 Bingo. 501 00:18:04,316 --> 00:18:05,183 Do you have a photo? 502 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,152 Printing! 503 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,787 My god! 504 00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:10,388 Oh my god. 505 00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,795 Butters, hey, butters! 506 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,061 Hey, yeah? 507 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:20,265 They found the butt-Face people's son, butters. 508 00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,867 They're gonna have a big reunion at the milk company. 509 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,134 Oh gee, that sounds swell, fellas. 510 00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:26,771 But i can't go 'cause i'm still having behavioral problems. 511 00:18:27,205 --> 00:18:28,905 Why are you wearing a paper bag on your head? 512 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,675 My parents are making me wear this paper bag on my head 513 00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:34,145 Until i learn to stop making silly faces all the time. 514 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,845 They really had it up to here with me. 515 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,917 Butters, are you ready to stop with the stupid faces? 516 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,183 I sure am, dad. 517 00:18:40,218 --> 00:18:41,953 All right, you can take the paper bag off. 518 00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:43,219 Thanks, dad. 519 00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:44,521 I'm sorry i was bad. 520 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:45,822 Oh, very funny, young man! 521 00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:47,592 You think it's clever to make yourself up like a girl? 522 00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:48,858 But dad, i didn't- 523 00:18:48,893 --> 00:18:50,629 Did you use your mother's makeup? 524 00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:51,496 She's gonna be furious. 525 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,231 I'm not wearing makeup, dad. 526 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,532 Put that bag back on! 527 00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:56,666 Yes, sir. 528 00:18:56,701 --> 00:18:57,968 Dude, that poor kid. 529 00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:01,906 Yeah, we gotta remember to kick his ass tomorrow. 530 00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:06,678 Dear mom, 531 00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:09,280 I can no longer stand to be without a sense of humor. 532 00:19:09,714 --> 00:19:12,317 Without laughter the world is a cold and sad place. 533 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,884 And i can't go out to face it anymore. 534 00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:18,823 Please tell everyone why i won't be at school. 535 00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:26,631 And please buy me more chocolate guns. 536 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,366 I'm starting to run out. 537 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:36,608 Please get the kind with marshmallow inside. 538 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,777 I don't like the peanut butter-Filled ones. 539 00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:40,078 Eric. 540 00:19:40,945 --> 00:19:42,212 And so it is with great pride 541 00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:43,947 That we have flown little billy thompson out here. 542 00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:47,886 To be reunited with his parents for the first time in 20 years. 543 00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:49,187 Mrs. Garthunk. 544 00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:50,488 Thank you, mr. President. 545 00:19:50,922 --> 00:19:53,524 I'm proud to be an employee of south park milk, 546 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,144 Which to date has found over 100,000 missing kids 547 00:19:56,179 --> 00:19:58,730 And led the way in the fight against curdling. 548 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,465 Mr. And mrs. Thompson, your son grew up 549 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,200 Not knowing who his parents were. 550 00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:03,900 But he was strong and resilient 551 00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:06,503 And ended up becoming very successful. 552 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:10,008 I think it will amaze you as it will all of us to learn 553 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,543 That your son... 554 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,044 Is ben affleck. 555 00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,647 Come on out here, ben! 556 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,399 Mom, dad! 557 00:20:17,434 --> 00:20:19,082 Son! 558 00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:20,817 Oh, son! 559 00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:21,685 What's going on? 560 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,455 Dude, the ass-Faces' son is ben affleck. 561 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:24,756 Oh, our little ben. 562 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:26,890 Oh, i'm so happy. 563 00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,527 Wow, i never realized ben had t.P.S., 564 00:20:29,961 --> 00:20:32,130 But i definitely see the resemblance now. 565 00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:35,166 Oh, son. 566 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,433 Isn't this wonderful? 567 00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:38,168 Okay, gang, give me a big smile. 568 00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:40,805 Well, looks like everything turned out all right for them. 569 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,408 Yeah, i guess now we'll have to call him ben ass-Fleck. 570 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:46,661 Ben ass-Fleck, that's funny! 571 00:20:46,696 --> 00:20:47,746 Hey, you're laughing, cartman. 572 00:20:48,179 --> 00:20:49,012 Hey, you're right. 573 00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:50,782 Oh, this is great- Ben ass-Fleck! 574 00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:53,818 Wait a minute, don't you see what happened? 575 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,085 What? 576 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,421 Everything turned out okay for those people. 577 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,288 And so now you can laugh. 578 00:20:57,722 --> 00:20:58,555 Huh? 579 00:20:58,590 --> 00:20:59,457 When cartman first opened the door 580 00:20:59,891 --> 00:21:00,724 And saw the thompsons 581 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,060 He felt bad for playing a joke on them. 582 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,361 Now that everything's turned out all right 583 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:04,463 He's able to laugh. 584 00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:05,495 Whoa, you're right. 585 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,048 Cartman had a feeling of remorse. 586 00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:08,531 No, no, no, i blew a funny fuse. 587 00:21:08,566 --> 00:21:10,735 There is no such thing as a funny fuse, cartman. 588 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,001 You felt bad! 589 00:21:12,036 --> 00:21:13,338 Whatever, all i know is i can laugh again. 590 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,507 I'm gonna go home and eat another chocolate gun. 591 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,242 Come on, kenny! 592 00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:23,748 Wow, cartman actually felt bad for somebody 593 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,581 And couldn't laugh at them. 594 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:25,917 Our little man is growing up, stan. 595 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,652 He's growing up. 596 00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,352 Yeah, i guess we all are. 597 00:21:29,387 --> 00:21:30,255 Maybe things are finally gonna start 598 00:21:30,688 --> 00:21:31,990 Getting more sophisticated around here. 599 00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:34,991 Oh, son. 600 00:21:35,026 --> 00:21:38,062 Captioning made possible by comedy central 601 00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,665 Captioned by soundwriters™