1 00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:28,406 Synchro: arrow, mpm 2 00:00:30,111 --> 00:00:34,120 South Park 12x14 - The Ungroundable - 3 00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:38,329 Mkay, so now the computer will type a command bar. 4 00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:40,737 Mkay, and we type in 5 00:00:40,862 --> 00:00:43,584 "x" equal "y" plus one. 6 00:00:44,417 --> 00:00:47,430 Mkay, and then it says we hit command "y" 7 00:00:47,555 --> 00:00:49,840 to bring up the menu screen. 8 00:00:50,665 --> 00:00:52,635 Oh, man. You've got to be kidding me. 9 00:00:53,899 --> 00:00:55,766 Goddamn japs are everywhere. 10 00:00:56,807 --> 00:01:00,351 Mkay, now, right click on menu item "equate all" 11 00:01:00,614 --> 00:01:03,279 and type in input "y". 12 00:01:03,695 --> 00:01:06,941 - Dude. Are you on America's side? - No, I'm on the Japanese side. 13 00:01:07,491 --> 00:01:09,018 Who just shot me? 14 00:01:09,456 --> 00:01:13,406 Mkay, let's see. A right click in the upper right... 15 00:01:14,845 --> 00:01:16,618 But then what the hell... 16 00:01:17,230 --> 00:01:19,923 Mkay, kids. I'm gonna need to get some clarification on this. 17 00:01:20,048 --> 00:01:23,042 Just keep entering the calculations. I'll be right back. 18 00:01:24,332 --> 00:01:26,454 Oh, dude! I wish I had a real flame-thrower. 19 00:01:26,579 --> 00:01:28,173 It works awesome on japs! 20 00:01:29,303 --> 00:01:31,018 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 21 00:01:32,446 --> 00:01:34,685 Stan, we have got a big problem! 22 00:01:34,810 --> 00:01:37,314 - Dude, what? - There's vampires in the school! 23 00:01:37,439 --> 00:01:39,247 - What? - Vampires! I seen 'em! 24 00:01:39,372 --> 00:01:41,434 Dude! Who's using the flak jacket cheat? 25 00:01:42,039 --> 00:01:43,707 Not a cheat if you rank up! 26 00:01:45,112 --> 00:01:47,004 There's a vampire on the loose. 27 00:01:47,129 --> 00:01:50,191 Then Katie Gelson was hanging out with him. And now she's a vampire, too! 28 00:01:50,541 --> 00:01:52,236 There's no such thing as vampires. 29 00:01:52,722 --> 00:01:54,721 But there is! You guys gotta believe me! 30 00:01:54,846 --> 00:01:56,952 First, there was just a couple, but now it's like they're growing. 31 00:01:57,077 --> 00:01:59,033 They have fangs and drink blood and everything! 32 00:01:59,216 --> 00:02:01,367 All right. You go document the vampires' movements 33 00:02:01,492 --> 00:02:04,914 - so we know what their intentions are. - Really? You think that's best? 34 00:02:05,269 --> 00:02:07,376 - Yeah, now get outta here. - All right! 35 00:02:08,442 --> 00:02:11,530 If I don't make it back, tell my mom what happened to me. 36 00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:16,066 You got powned, bébé. You jap bitch! 37 00:02:19,995 --> 00:02:22,798 Isn't this cool? This time of day nobody's in the gym. 38 00:02:22,923 --> 00:02:26,174 We should make this one of our official South Park vampire's club hangouts. 39 00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:28,920 That's an awesome new coat, Mike. Looks totally badass. 40 00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:30,928 Don't call me Mike. My name is Vampir now. 41 00:02:31,053 --> 00:02:33,787 - Oh, that's cool. - I'm gonna change my name to Vladimir. 42 00:02:33,912 --> 00:02:35,779 You can't. It's too close to Vampir. 43 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,262 12:32 p.m. 44 00:02:40,512 --> 00:02:42,663 Vampires meeting in the school gymnasium. 45 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,913 Leader appears to be a fifth grader. 46 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:48,036 You know that girl Bella in "twilight"? I think I'm like her. 47 00:02:48,161 --> 00:02:50,669 I'm a psi vampire. Do you like these sparkles I got? 48 00:02:51,507 --> 00:02:53,657 Annie Bartlett is a psi vampire. 49 00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:56,000 I'm more a sanguinarian vampire. 50 00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:58,739 In that I rely more on the life force energy, per se. 51 00:02:58,864 --> 00:03:00,904 I'm gonna be a hybrid vampire. 52 00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:03,140 Both psi and sanguinarian. 53 00:03:03,736 --> 00:03:06,476 That's Ryan Ellis. Looks like they've gotten to him, too. 54 00:03:06,794 --> 00:03:09,133 Lunchtime's almost over. Should we drink some more blood? 55 00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:10,102 Cool! 56 00:03:10,227 --> 00:03:12,398 In that I think it's time for us to feed, per se. 57 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,530 Oh, God. I think they're gonna drink blood now! 58 00:03:17,901 --> 00:03:20,543 They've got some kind of chalice and they're... 59 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:26,169 It's the Big Texas Butters show! 60 00:03:26,294 --> 00:03:28,935 And now here is Big Texas Butters! 61 00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:30,525 Why howdy there, partners! 62 00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:33,939 I'm Big Texas Butters and this here's my horse toast. 63 00:03:34,253 --> 00:03:35,649 Happy trails 64 00:03:35,899 --> 00:03:37,202 to you! 65 00:03:40,774 --> 00:03:42,136 What are you doing? 66 00:03:42,692 --> 00:03:44,425 Get back! You stay back! 67 00:03:45,594 --> 00:03:49,185 The body of Christ compels you! The body of Christ compels you! 68 00:03:55,025 --> 00:03:57,832 That kid was really scared of us. That's true, Bloodrayne. 69 00:03:57,957 --> 00:04:00,683 People are going to be frightened of us because they don't understand 70 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,533 - our ways, per se. - Yeah, we're cool! 71 00:04:07,472 --> 00:04:09,985 What the hell are those kids doing? 72 00:04:10,220 --> 00:04:12,369 Why are they dressing like that all of a sudden? 73 00:04:12,494 --> 00:04:14,240 Are they trying to be goth? 74 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:15,821 They're vamp. 75 00:04:16,266 --> 00:04:19,307 They wear plastic fangs and drink freakin' clamato juice. 76 00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:23,387 But they can't dress like that. That's our style! 77 00:04:23,841 --> 00:04:26,972 Tommy Petros is thinking he might wanna be a vamp kid, too. 78 00:04:27,097 --> 00:04:29,590 - Tommy Petros, is he cool? - Yeah, he's cool enough. 79 00:04:29,715 --> 00:04:30,715 All right. 80 00:04:31,450 --> 00:04:34,331 So all of a sudden you Justin and Britney wannabes think 81 00:04:34,456 --> 00:04:36,191 it's cool to dress like us? 82 00:04:37,239 --> 00:04:40,875 We dress the way our souls feel. To express the darkness, per se. 83 00:04:41,471 --> 00:04:43,031 Aren't you Mike McKowski? 84 00:04:43,743 --> 00:04:46,035 That's Vampir McKowski now. 85 00:04:46,791 --> 00:04:49,998 You kids need to all go put your freaking banana republic clothes 86 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,371 back on right now. 87 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,584 We're just as dark as you guys. Maybe darker. 88 00:04:54,355 --> 00:04:56,819 Really. Do you guys even smoke? 89 00:04:57,249 --> 00:04:59,168 Of course not. Smoking's bad for you. 90 00:04:59,293 --> 00:05:00,256 Yeah! 91 00:05:00,665 --> 00:05:01,999 Oh, my God. 92 00:05:02,463 --> 00:05:05,346 You know, you guys are really giving off a negative human energy. 93 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,848 We prefer to take our darkness somewhere else, per se. 94 00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:10,267 All right, count fagula. You go do that. 95 00:05:17,662 --> 00:05:20,636 Mom! Mom, I gotta tell you something! You're not gonna believe it! 96 00:05:20,761 --> 00:05:23,694 Not now. Your father wants to have a talk with you in the kitchen. 97 00:05:23,819 --> 00:05:25,153 He is not happy. 98 00:05:25,685 --> 00:05:27,500 What I'd do this time? 99 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:29,307 You just march on in there. 100 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,798 Oh, jeez. 101 00:05:35,617 --> 00:05:37,170 You see this, Butters. 102 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,779 It's a glass of milk I poured for myself. 103 00:05:40,363 --> 00:05:41,620 And you see this? 104 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,526 It's hamburger helper. 105 00:05:45,570 --> 00:05:48,592 Now, would you mind telling me what hamburger helper is doing 106 00:05:48,717 --> 00:05:49,931 in this glass of milk? 107 00:05:50,746 --> 00:05:53,769 Why is hamburger helper in a glass of milk, Butters? 108 00:05:54,517 --> 00:05:55,967 I have no idea, sir. 109 00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:57,576 I'll tell you why! 110 00:05:57,701 --> 00:06:00,881 Our pantry is always kept organized alphabetically. 111 00:06:01,225 --> 00:06:03,698 But somebody put the hamburger helper 112 00:06:03,823 --> 00:06:06,176 where the nestle quick is supposed to go! 113 00:06:07,364 --> 00:06:10,409 I'm sorry, dad. It's just I've been really preoccupied lately. 114 00:06:10,534 --> 00:06:14,163 - See, there's these kids at school... - What keeps a family together? 115 00:06:14,893 --> 00:06:16,290 A well-organized pantry. 116 00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:17,550 That's right! 117 00:06:17,675 --> 00:06:20,212 If you keep putting food back under the wrong letter, 118 00:06:20,563 --> 00:06:22,006 it all goes wrong! 119 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:25,967 Now you will reorganize this entire pantry and you will do it right. 120 00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,102 Okay, but dad, you gotta listen to me. 121 00:06:28,227 --> 00:06:30,055 Kids at school are starting to change. 122 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,833 You do it right now or you're going to be grounded. 123 00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:34,010 You got that? 124 00:06:34,245 --> 00:06:35,300 Yes, sir. 125 00:06:38,285 --> 00:06:39,196 Jeez. 126 00:06:39,321 --> 00:06:41,141 Nobody will even listen to me. 127 00:06:41,593 --> 00:06:44,446 It's like nobody even cares there's vampires at the school. 128 00:06:44,869 --> 00:06:47,504 I try to help and all I ever do is get hollered at. 129 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,841 I'll bet vampires never get hollered at. 130 00:06:51,242 --> 00:06:53,694 Vampires just get to do whatever they want. 131 00:06:58,828 --> 00:07:00,752 All mortals share a soft repose. 132 00:07:01,055 --> 00:07:02,985 My soul doth dreadful vigils keep, 133 00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:05,745 more keen than which hell scarcely knows. 134 00:07:06,174 --> 00:07:07,508 What is that kid doing? 135 00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:12,431 Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. Butters, what are you doing? 136 00:07:24,126 --> 00:07:25,253 I'm Butters. 137 00:07:26,897 --> 00:07:27,821 So? 138 00:07:29,258 --> 00:07:31,895 Oh, creatures of the night, I seek audience to engage with thee 139 00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:34,068 in unholy darkness and thus do, 140 00:07:34,193 --> 00:07:36,604 and thus do unto your bidding. 141 00:07:38,673 --> 00:07:39,706 What? 142 00:07:40,782 --> 00:07:42,355 I wanna be a vampire. 143 00:07:43,612 --> 00:07:45,421 You're not cool enough to be one of us. 144 00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:46,959 Yeah, I know. 145 00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:50,417 But... I think I would make a really good vampire if you just... 146 00:07:50,898 --> 00:07:52,471 just give me the opportunity. 147 00:07:53,458 --> 00:07:54,590 We'll think about it. 148 00:07:54,715 --> 00:07:56,933 Go get us some sodas out of the pop machine in the commons. 149 00:07:58,026 --> 00:08:00,478 - Anything else? - I want some cheetos. 150 00:08:00,895 --> 00:08:03,232 Sodas and cheetos! I'll be right back. 151 00:08:10,519 --> 00:08:11,572 Where'd it go? 152 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,077 - You see where it went? - It's right over there by those vampire kids. 153 00:08:17,979 --> 00:08:18,979 What? 154 00:08:20,627 --> 00:08:23,421 We aren't vampire kids, we're freaking goth! 155 00:08:24,195 --> 00:08:26,963 Whatever, Dracula. Why don't you turn into a bat or something? 156 00:08:27,657 --> 00:08:28,772 So lame. 157 00:08:29,347 --> 00:08:31,359 So... lame. 158 00:08:31,484 --> 00:08:33,582 You guys, I do not want to be grouped in 159 00:08:33,707 --> 00:08:36,209 with the douchy little vampire kids. 160 00:08:36,334 --> 00:08:38,318 So lame. 161 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,441 See? Isn't it cool back here? It's all dark and isolated. 162 00:08:42,566 --> 00:08:44,709 This would be a great place for a vampire meeting! 163 00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:47,424 Get out of our space, you little twerps! 164 00:08:48,417 --> 00:08:51,238 More preppy straight-A students turning into vampires. 165 00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:53,167 What the hell is going on? 166 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,375 I've done what you asked. 167 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,853 A case of Dr. Pepper and cherry twizzlers. 168 00:09:12,978 --> 00:09:16,137 Who are you gonna give this to? I mean, vampires can't eat people food. 169 00:09:16,544 --> 00:09:17,629 You have done well. 170 00:09:17,754 --> 00:09:20,371 Are you ready to become one of us, per se? 171 00:09:21,234 --> 00:09:22,420 Yeah, I guess. 172 00:09:22,776 --> 00:09:25,919 Are you sure? Because once you're in South Park vampire society, 173 00:09:26,044 --> 00:09:27,543 you can't ever leave. 174 00:09:30,098 --> 00:09:32,172 I'm sick of being pushed around. 175 00:09:32,297 --> 00:09:34,740 By my dad, by kids at school. 176 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,868 Then it is time for your transformation, per se. 177 00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:39,840 Let it begin! 178 00:09:43,305 --> 00:09:45,303 This way. Prepare thyself. 179 00:10:12,796 --> 00:10:14,825 And now you shall drink vampire blood 180 00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:17,744 and your transformation will be complete, per se. 181 00:10:19,935 --> 00:10:22,285 With this thy transformation is done! 182 00:10:24,931 --> 00:10:26,157 That tastes awful! 183 00:10:27,866 --> 00:10:28,880 It is finished! 184 00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:32,519 Welcome, Butters, to the South Park society of vampires. 185 00:10:44,799 --> 00:10:47,132 There you are! Do you know what time it is? 186 00:10:47,257 --> 00:10:48,448 Where have you been? 187 00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:50,415 What have you done to your hair? 188 00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:53,446 We are talking to you! 189 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,698 Explain yourself, mister. 190 00:10:56,283 --> 00:10:59,433 I no longer need to explain anything to you, father. 191 00:10:59,587 --> 00:11:01,524 - What on Earth... - That does it! 192 00:11:01,649 --> 00:11:03,915 You are grounded for two weeks, you got that? 193 00:11:04,561 --> 00:11:06,140 You can't ground me. 194 00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,326 For I am neither living nor dead. 195 00:11:08,451 --> 00:11:11,301 How can they ground that which is ungroundable? 196 00:11:15,222 --> 00:11:18,308 All right. It don't know what's gotten into you, mister, but you're gonna... 197 00:11:23,086 --> 00:11:24,742 I am going to my room now. 198 00:11:24,867 --> 00:11:26,799 For I must slumber, per se. 199 00:11:34,468 --> 00:11:38,276 Now kids, I understand that you are very into this vampire thing, 200 00:11:38,401 --> 00:11:40,461 but I don't want to see it get out of hand. 201 00:11:40,586 --> 00:11:42,034 You kids need to understand 202 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,769 that your new little fad is scary to some. 203 00:11:47,014 --> 00:11:48,447 Oh, my God. 204 00:11:48,572 --> 00:11:50,640 You've got the wrong flippin' people! 205 00:11:50,765 --> 00:11:53,132 We aren't vampires. 206 00:11:53,351 --> 00:11:55,561 I know that you aren't really vampires. 207 00:11:55,686 --> 00:11:57,687 And I appreciate that you want to be cool 208 00:11:57,812 --> 00:12:00,388 because vampires are the "in" thing right now. 209 00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:01,973 We aren't trying to be popular! 210 00:12:02,134 --> 00:12:03,977 But just make sure that this new little trend 211 00:12:04,102 --> 00:12:05,483 doesn't become a distraction. 212 00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:07,980 Here's a couple more, principal Victoria, mkay. 213 00:12:08,534 --> 00:12:09,940 Oh, no, are we in trouble? 214 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,902 I was just telling your friends about what I expect... 215 00:12:13,062 --> 00:12:15,279 We aren't friends. 216 00:12:15,812 --> 00:12:16,966 Don't worry, ma'am. 217 00:12:17,091 --> 00:12:19,247 As I was just explaining to my new minions, 218 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,660 vampires are actually very spiritual and deep beings, per se. 219 00:12:25,685 --> 00:12:28,077 Allison Mertz is a vampire kid, now? 220 00:12:28,259 --> 00:12:30,126 This thing isn't going to stop. 221 00:12:30,318 --> 00:12:31,630 Let's just face it. 222 00:12:31,755 --> 00:12:33,251 They bogarted our style. 223 00:12:33,376 --> 00:12:35,929 Everyone's gonna think we're trying to be butthole vampires. 224 00:12:36,054 --> 00:12:39,261 Now we might go to the frickin' Gap and buy normal clothes. 225 00:12:44,376 --> 00:12:48,309 Well, at least nobody can refer to us as vampire kids now. 226 00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:52,143 It went this way? 227 00:12:52,268 --> 00:12:54,830 Yeah, it's over there by the fat girl, the big nose kid, the 228 00:12:54,955 --> 00:12:56,945 the midget and the kid with pock marks on his face. 229 00:13:00,114 --> 00:13:02,010 So we're back to that, are we? 230 00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:06,608 Let's get out of these freakin' Gap clothes. 231 00:13:14,155 --> 00:13:15,257 Sorry, Eric. 232 00:13:15,568 --> 00:13:19,696 But I'm a vampire now, and I can no longer survive on human food. 233 00:13:20,346 --> 00:13:23,699 And if someone must die so that I can feed, I choose thee. 234 00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:35,435 Wonder what side I'm supposed to do it on. Probably doesn't matter. 235 00:13:42,729 --> 00:13:43,898 I can't do it! 236 00:13:44,439 --> 00:13:45,773 I can't do it! 237 00:13:46,144 --> 00:13:48,638 Dude, gross. You got spit all over my neck. Mom! 238 00:13:48,763 --> 00:13:51,053 - Butters just gave me a hickey! - I'm so hungry, 239 00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:53,860 but just remembering about how that blood tasted before... 240 00:13:53,985 --> 00:13:55,743 Blood is all clammy and tomatoey. 241 00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,459 It makes me want to... 242 00:13:59,016 --> 00:14:01,135 - Dude! - Are you all right, sweetie? 243 00:14:08,302 --> 00:14:09,608 What's going on? 244 00:14:10,043 --> 00:14:12,912 Well, Mom, apparently Butters is gay, finds me very attractive 245 00:14:13,037 --> 00:14:16,157 and confused about his sexual identity. Puked on my floor. 246 00:14:16,395 --> 00:14:17,395 Oh, dear. 247 00:14:23,537 --> 00:14:27,514 I walked into the cafeteria today, Rebeca Miller and Phillip Rust 248 00:14:27,639 --> 00:14:29,932 were dressed like vampires drinking clamato juice 249 00:14:30,057 --> 00:14:31,944 with four kids from the football team. 250 00:14:32,069 --> 00:14:32,999 Jesus. 251 00:14:33,391 --> 00:14:36,688 It's like there's more vampire kids every freakin' day. 252 00:14:36,813 --> 00:14:39,215 Why is this happening? I mean, why now? 253 00:14:39,566 --> 00:14:40,708 Doesn't matter why. 254 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,182 Pretty soon the whole school 255 00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:45,512 is going to be an endless hive of conformist happy-go-lucky vampire wannabes. 256 00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:49,480 It seems like that preppy Mike McKowski kid started all this. 257 00:14:49,605 --> 00:14:51,559 Maybe he's the way to stopping it. 258 00:14:51,813 --> 00:14:52,977 What do you mean? 259 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,205 I mean, 260 00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:58,344 what do you do when you want to change vampires back to normal? 261 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,310 You get rid of the head vampire. 262 00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,856 Does your mom know you took her car? 263 00:15:11,124 --> 00:15:12,273 Do I care? 264 00:15:13,602 --> 00:15:15,250 Okay. This is probably good enough. 265 00:15:15,578 --> 00:15:17,128 Yeah, pull over here. 266 00:15:23,613 --> 00:15:25,064 Please! What do you want? 267 00:15:25,189 --> 00:15:26,052 Let me go! 268 00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:29,481 What should we do with him? 269 00:15:29,994 --> 00:15:31,288 If he's a vampire, 270 00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:33,601 I guess we should drive a stake through his heart. 271 00:15:35,048 --> 00:15:36,296 No, I'm not a vampire. 272 00:15:36,421 --> 00:15:38,065 I'm not a vampire! 273 00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:41,289 - What's that? - I'm not really a vampire! 274 00:15:41,414 --> 00:15:43,222 You're not really a vampire? 275 00:15:43,347 --> 00:15:44,282 Really? 276 00:15:44,407 --> 00:15:45,947 I'm so freaking shocked. 277 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,280 If we get the right packaging, 278 00:15:49,405 --> 00:15:51,834 we can just FeDex him somewhere far away. 279 00:15:51,959 --> 00:15:54,032 How about we send him to Transylvania? 280 00:15:54,499 --> 00:15:55,665 He'd probably see it 281 00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:58,459 as something to brag about some day to his little vampire buddies. 282 00:15:58,948 --> 00:16:00,569 If we're gonna send him somewhere 283 00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:04,199 it should be the most horrible, most miserable place on Earth. 284 00:16:06,158 --> 00:16:07,318 Scottsdale! 285 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,089 We just got a call from Mrs. Cartman! 286 00:16:16,793 --> 00:16:18,915 Unbelievable! He's locked the door! 287 00:16:20,331 --> 00:16:21,974 Butters! This is your father! 288 00:16:22,099 --> 00:16:25,696 Explain why you snuck into another boy's bedroom and gave him a hickey! 289 00:16:28,652 --> 00:16:31,302 Butters, you will open this door right now! 290 00:16:32,082 --> 00:16:33,932 What have I done to myself? 291 00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:37,540 I should have known I wouldn't have the stomach to be a vampire. 292 00:16:38,369 --> 00:16:39,752 I'm so hungry. 293 00:16:40,006 --> 00:16:42,876 Butters, you have five seconds to unlock this door. 294 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,001 One. 295 00:16:44,311 --> 00:16:45,311 Two. 296 00:16:58,022 --> 00:16:59,022 Hey, Dad. 297 00:17:00,225 --> 00:17:03,149 Butters, did you get gay with one of your schoolmates tonight? 298 00:17:03,531 --> 00:17:04,656 I have to eat. 299 00:17:04,781 --> 00:17:07,111 But I can't do it. I'm getting weak. 300 00:17:07,463 --> 00:17:10,085 All right. Now you listen and you listen good. 301 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:14,889 Until you stop behaving this way, you are not going the leave this room! 302 00:17:15,014 --> 00:17:16,497 Do you understand? 303 00:17:23,249 --> 00:17:24,945 I know now what I have to do. 304 00:17:28,502 --> 00:17:30,954 Steven, what has happened to our boy? 305 00:17:31,863 --> 00:17:33,813 He's become something, Linda. 306 00:17:34,481 --> 00:17:35,538 Something 307 00:17:36,050 --> 00:17:37,709 that we cannot ground. 308 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,623 I just don't get it 309 00:17:48,748 --> 00:17:51,322 We sent the head vampire to Scotsdale. 310 00:17:51,447 --> 00:17:55,180 But still more and more kids are dressing up like vampires. 311 00:17:55,305 --> 00:17:58,789 It must not have been what causing it. It must be something else. 312 00:17:59,056 --> 00:18:00,448 You're gonna order any food 313 00:18:00,573 --> 00:18:02,555 or just sit there and drink coffee all night. 314 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,169 Leave us alone. 315 00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:06,767 Bad enough if I always get stuck with you goth kids. 316 00:18:06,892 --> 00:18:09,174 Now I've goth kids in my entire section. 317 00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:15,179 They aren't goth, they are douches little vampire kids. 318 00:18:15,669 --> 00:18:17,141 Looks the same to me. 319 00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:19,528 I bet they aren't even drinking coffee. 320 00:18:19,653 --> 00:18:21,841 No, they said they were to young to drink caffeine, 321 00:18:21,966 --> 00:18:23,460 so they have an orange juice. 322 00:18:27,049 --> 00:18:28,156 Let's go over there 323 00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:31,238 and tell them they are not taking their legend from us too. 324 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,582 Forget it! 325 00:18:32,707 --> 00:18:34,017 It's over, all right? 326 00:18:34,142 --> 00:18:36,964 There's too many of them now. We can't stop them. 327 00:18:37,198 --> 00:18:38,510 Let's just face it. 328 00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:40,585 The freakin' vampires beat us. 329 00:18:41,384 --> 00:18:42,499 Maybe not. 330 00:18:44,188 --> 00:18:47,338 Did you say you're trying to get rid of the vampires? 331 00:18:47,957 --> 00:18:49,282 I want to help you. 332 00:18:49,592 --> 00:18:51,006 Get away, douchebag. 333 00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:55,012 Some legends say that if you destroy the vampire's lair, 334 00:18:55,172 --> 00:18:57,355 the vampires will go back to being human again. 335 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,865 What are you talking about? 336 00:18:58,990 --> 00:19:00,173 I can take you 337 00:19:00,298 --> 00:19:03,721 to the place where kids are being transformed into vampires. 338 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,527 Hot Topic? When did this open? 339 00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:15,790 Two weeks ago. It used to be a banana republic. 340 00:19:16,513 --> 00:19:17,447 Of course. 341 00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:20,244 Freakin' Hot Topic. That explains everything. 342 00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:22,003 How did we not figure that out? 343 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,861 Of course a new hot topic must have come to town. 344 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,723 Well, I think we all know what has to be done. 345 00:19:30,051 --> 00:19:31,301 Let's get to it. 346 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,737 What the hell are you doing? 347 00:19:47,862 --> 00:19:49,774 You should probably get out of here. 348 00:19:58,511 --> 00:20:01,858 - What the hell are they doing? - They're putting an end it to. 349 00:20:14,329 --> 00:20:15,509 Mom! Dad! 350 00:20:16,023 --> 00:20:18,095 - I've changed back! - What? 351 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,984 Goth kids burnt down the Hot Topic and sure enough! 352 00:20:21,109 --> 00:20:23,979 Soon as they did, I tried eating a hot dog and it tasted good! 353 00:20:24,104 --> 00:20:26,650 My vampire teeth even fell out when I bit into it! 354 00:20:26,775 --> 00:20:28,164 I'm human again! 355 00:20:28,289 --> 00:20:30,606 We have no idea what you're talking about, 356 00:20:30,768 --> 00:20:32,090 but we're glad you're home! 357 00:20:32,215 --> 00:20:35,025 That's right, son. There's only one thing I care about. 358 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:36,270 What's that, dad? 359 00:20:36,395 --> 00:20:40,655 Would you mind telling me why there is rice-a-roni in my coffee? 360 00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:44,573 Butters, are you grounded! 361 00:20:45,748 --> 00:20:46,953 Dangit! 362 00:20:48,773 --> 00:20:50,229 It worked, Linda. 363 00:20:50,602 --> 00:20:52,737 Our son is groundable once more. 364 00:20:56,609 --> 00:21:00,249 Fellow students, over the past weeks there's been a lot of confusion 365 00:21:00,374 --> 00:21:02,152 and so we have asked for this assembly 366 00:21:02,277 --> 00:21:06,310 to clarify the difference between goth kids and vampire kids. 367 00:21:06,737 --> 00:21:08,644 Let us now, make it abundantly clear... 368 00:21:09,032 --> 00:21:13,387 If you hate life, truly hate the sun, and need to smoke and drink coffee, 369 00:21:13,512 --> 00:21:14,744 you are goth. 370 00:21:15,546 --> 00:21:18,493 If, however, you like dressing in black because it's fun, 371 00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:21,603 enjoy putting sparkles on your cheeks and following the occult 372 00:21:21,728 --> 00:21:23,929 while avoiding things that are bad for your health, 373 00:21:24,054 --> 00:21:27,816 then you are most likely a douchebag vampire-wannabe boner. 374 00:21:27,949 --> 00:21:30,518 Because anybody who thinks they are actually a vampire 375 00:21:30,643 --> 00:21:32,345 is freaking retarded. 376 00:21:37,627 --> 00:21:38,685 All of you.