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La Fabrique
www.sous-titres.eu
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You guys!
You're never gonna guess what!
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Seriously, guess what?
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- Why?
- You know Pete Melman?
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- Fourth grade, Mr. Bard's class?
- The blond kid?
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- Pete Melman.
- What about him?
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He crapped his pants today
during social studies.
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He had to go to the nurse's office,
and his mom brought him new jeans!
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- How do you know?
- Because it's all over Eavesdropper.
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- Eavesdropper?
- What's that?
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You don't follow Eavesdropper?
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It's a website
about all the students.
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Did you guys see Eavesdropper?
Melman shit his pants.
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I'm showing the guys.
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Eavesdropper
got a hold of the phone call
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from the nurse to Pete Melman's mom.
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Listen.
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Hello, Mrs. Melman.
This is the school nurse.
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I'm afraid your son
has had a little accident.
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- What is it?
- Turn it up.
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It's not serious,
but he went number two during class.
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I'm afraid he's gonna need
a new pair of pants and underwear.
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And a clean pair of socks.
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- Did you see Eavesdropper?
- We're listening to it.
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That's so wrong.
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Pete Melman pooed his pants
and his mom brought him new undies.
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What do we call him when we see him?
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I was thinking Poopypants Pete,
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but then I also thought
of Mushpants Melman.
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Attention, students.
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Will the following student report
to the principal's office immediately:
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Eric Cartman.
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Jesus, what now?
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As you might have heard,
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a student here
had an accident in the classroom.
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I know.
Pete Melman crapped his pants.
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So freaking funny.
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But you probably understand
that for Pete,
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it isn't that funny.
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For him,
it's embarrassing and terrifying.
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That's why it's super funny to me.
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It has been almost one year
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since Corey Duran
defecated in his pants at school.
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You remember what happened to him?
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He killed himself.
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And the reason he killed himself
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was that the ridicule
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and the torment from other students
spearheaded by you...
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Spearheaded by you,
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made him feel there was no way out.
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We've been through this.
You cannot put his death on me.
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I'm not the one
who crapped his pants.
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We are asking you
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to please just remember
what happened to Corey
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and not let it happen to Pete.
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Just let it go.
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You're asking me
to simply ignore a kid who,
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excuse my language,
I have to be harsh,
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a kid who shit in his pants
in front of everyone
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to just ignore that
so he can have a normal life?
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We are hoping
that if you don't fan the flames,
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the other students
might forget about it.
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You really think information like this
will die down?
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There's Internet.
There's Eavesdropper.
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You might be worried
he's gonna kill himself,
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but the truth is, he was dead
the second he crapped his pants.
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All right, here's the deal.
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This school cannot have
another suicide on its hands.
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We want you
to see Pete Melman through this
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and turn public opinion around.
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Too crazy!
It can't be done!
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If Pete Melman does not kill himself,
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we will make it
very worth your while.
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You aren't listening...
Make it worth my while how?
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- No way.
- What's up?
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Got a video of Pete's mom showing up
with fresh underwear on Eavesdropper.
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- That's fuck up.
- Come on, it's pretty funny.
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It's funny that something
that should be completely private
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is put up on a website
for everyone to see?
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- That's pretty funny.
- It's mega duper hilarious.
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- What's up?
- What do you want?
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You hear about Pete Melman?
Pretty messed up?
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It's gross.
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What you doing for lunch?
My mom packed me the best stuff.
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- She even baked cupcakes.
- So what?
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I was just thinking
maybe we could eat lunch together.
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I've always kind of...
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liked you.
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- I don't like you.
- I know you don't like me back...
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This was stupid.
I'm sorry.
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Just take the cupcake.
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Don't take the...
I'm sorry I wasted your time.
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Wait.
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I'm sorry.
That was mean.
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I'd love to try
one of your mom's cupcakes.
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Now, number 17,
many of you got wrong as well.
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The correct answer was D.
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Whales are a mammals.
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Not fish.
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- You're all right?
- I'm fine. I just...
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Can I be excused?
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Excused?
We are in the middle of class.
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- What's the matter?
- I need to go to the restroom.
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I don't think that's quite fair.
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You rarely let us
leave during a class.
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I gotta go now.
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Give it a couple of minutes.
Could just be a cramp.
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I got to...
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Oh, my God!
Jenny Simons crapped her pants!
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Did you guys hear that?
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It's way worse than Pete Melman was!
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Gross!
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The doctors say
Jenny Simons barely survived the fall.
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Jumping off the school roof
fractured her pelvis.
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Cool.
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Not cool!
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She's on suicide watch.
She's given up on life.
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You said
Pete Melman couldn't kill himself.
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By making Jenny Simons
crap her pants worse than him,
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I've made her the number one story
on Eavesdropper.
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That wasn't the point.
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Nobody was supposed
to kill themselves.
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Unless you fix this, our deal is off.
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Nobody can be made fun of,
and nobody can die?
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Jesus Christ.
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Those tests we took last week,
how did we do on those?
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Our students did average,
maybe just below average.
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They all did awesome.
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Our students did so good
that you decided to reward them all.
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At lunch, you're serving
the students Pizza Hut,
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but we're going to put
laxatives and horsey sauce,
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so that everyone
craps their pants after recess.
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Nobody's singled out, problem solved.
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That's insane!
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If you have a better idea,
why am I here?
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It's counselor Mackey.
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How long would it take
to organize a pizza Friday?
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They actually did really well
on those state exams.
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Eavesdropper found an email
from Jenny's boyfriend
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calling her Soft Serve Simons.
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- That's not funny.
- Here's a post about Token.
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Token's private gym photos.
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I'm not looking at that.
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Come on, it's funny.
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It wouldn't be
if that was something about you.
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- I wouldn't care.
- Exclusive:
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Stan Marsh thinks
Elise Thomson has a hot butt crack.
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In an email sent yesterday
to Kenny McCormick,
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Stan Marsh wrote,
"You should have been in PE today.
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"Elise's butt crack
was totally showing."
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He went on
to call her butt crack "nice,"
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and that the whole experience
was "pretty awesome."
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- What the fuck?
- What?
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How did Eavesdropper
get a hold of my email?
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- I don't know.
- You let everybody read your emails?
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That was a private email
from me to you.
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You like
looking at girls' butt cracks?
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I should get out of here.
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I was telling Kenny he would like it.
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Do you have any idea
how embarrassed I am?
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It was just a quick email.
News stories pop up every hour.
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People will forget.
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You didn't email anybody else
about her butt crack, right?
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This is an issue
of trust and privacy.
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We have to all work together
to put an end to Eavesdropper.
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So, just to be completely clear,
now, it isn't funny, right?
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What funny
about hacked private lives?
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Especially when they're writing
your boyfriend's addicted to crack.
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Shut up!
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We have to find out
who's running Eavesdropper.
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I've done a wide profile
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and narrowed it down
to somebody in this room.
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Whoever you are,
you're a gossiping little bitch, and...
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- It's not someone in this room.
- What? How do you know?
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Because whoever it is
just now posted a new story.
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An embarrassing secret
about Craig Tucker.
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Wait...
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Where is it from?
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If it's on the school network,
we can track the address.
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This way.
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In here.
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He's using the computer
in the music room.
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We only have music class
on Thursdays.
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Of course.
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A kid could go there,
and nobody would know!
186
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Get ready.
187
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,617
Whoever's in here
is hacking our emails and phone calls.
188
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- You guys ready?
- I'm ready.
189
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:53,134
190
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It's a rat!
191
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Get it!
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Don't let him get away!
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00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,480
- He's gone!
- What the hell?
194
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,191
A stupid rat
is in charge of Eavesdropper?
195
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,447
It says here its name is Wikileaks.
196
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:33,341
I come with news of great gravity.
197
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,134
Another rodent is out there,
198
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,219
spreading terrible rumors
and hacking emails.
199
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,349
And I'm afraid the news get worse.
200
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:45,311
The creature doing this
is your brother, Wikileaks!
201
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:49,440
Wikileaks
202
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:53,945
The phone hacker with a heart of doom
203
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,656
Everyone knows the Gerbil King
204
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,741
But no one never speaks
205
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,078
Of Lemmiwinks' brother
206
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,622
The evil Wikileaks
207
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,502
One again, Wikileaks is trying
to wreak havoc on our world.
208
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,212
Only you can stop him.
209
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:14,882
Lemmiwinks, king of gerbils
210
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,968
Stop your brother of doom
211
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,767
It's just so embarrassing.
212
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,395
What if the other girls
find out my mother is in rehab?
213
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,855
It's OK.
Can I tell you a secret?
214
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,066
My mom has a drinking problem too.
215
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,611
- Really? You too?
- That's just between us, OK?
216
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,114
Of course.
I'm glad I shared this with you.
217
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,074
Stop that rat!
218
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:50,000
219
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,253
Knock it off!
220
00:11:55,589 --> 00:12:00,344
I just want you to know
that I have a huge crush on you, and...
221
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,476
222
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,353
No, Wikileaks!
Bad!
223
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,569
A few more laxatives on that one.
A little more horsey sauce on there.
224
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,904
- Is this one good?
- I think they're all ready.
225
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,573
You sure this will work?
226
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:23,451
- What if some students don't eat it?
- It doesn't matter.
227
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:27,663
Enough students will crap their pants
to make everyone forget.
228
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,707
All right, get back to class.
229
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,667
We don't want anyone
seeing you with us.
230
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,544
Hold on just a second.
231
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:36,338
I believe we discussed
the little matter of my payment.
232
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:40,926
I won't let you screw me over again.
Give me what I wanted now.
233
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,388
All right.
Bring her in, Adler.
234
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,308
Oh, my God!
235
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,602
Selena Gomez!
You got her to come!
236
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,981
I understand you wanted to meet me.
Want to get a picture together?
237
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,483
No, thanks.
Proceed.
238
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,402
I'm sorry about this.
239
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,409
Get her the fuck out of here.
240
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,580
You got what you wanted.
Are we straight?
241
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,665
That was amazing.
242
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,209
Get back to class.
243
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:18,172
Get rid of those laxative bottles.
Trash all the sauce packages too.
244
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,217
There cannot be one piece of evidence
of what we did here.
245
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,344
What the...
246
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:25,346
Shit!
247
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,181
Stop that rat!
248
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,230
All right,
we should probably get going now.
249
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,861
The time is nigh.
Let us chase your destiny.
250
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,368
Sparrow Prince,
what news do you bring?
251
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,621
Wikileaks grows stronger
with each passing moment.
252
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:55,459
The birds are tweeting
he's about to release his biggest story.
253
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:58,838
Then the moment is truly here.
Come, Lemmiwinks, let us make haste.
254
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,012
His heart is so heavy.
I weep for him.
255
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:11,267
Indeed, could you do it, Frog Prince?
Could you kill your own brother?
256
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,519
Thank God I don't have
to make that decision.
257
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,316
We might need to bring in
some outside help.
258
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,777
You see?
259
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:25,406
Eavesdropper's biggest story ever
is coming out this afternoon.
260
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,074
Biggest story about who?
261
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,493
There's no telling.
It could be about any of us.
262
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,582
Well met, children of Adam.
263
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,293
I am Catatafish.
264
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:42,464
Catatafish of the stomach's cove
265
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,092
I come asking for your help.
266
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,220
There is only one thing
that can stop Wikileaks,
267
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,556
but right now,
Lemmiwinks is being held prisoner.
268
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,934
- Our old class gerbil?
- What is that thing?
269
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,020
I am Catatafish.
270
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,981
I'm a great wizard, and I'm a friend.
271
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,525
And I'm a ghost,
besides, of course, being a fish.
272
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:06,488
Catatafish's tale will soon be told
273
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:10,701
Do you know why a gerbil
is putting our secrets on the Internet?
274
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:15,164
He does it purely for reasons of evil.
His treachery is not limited to humans.
275
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:18,375
Wikileaks posted
exaggerated things about me too.
276
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,337
He posted on his website
that I had sex with an underage fish,
277
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,047
and that she performed bass to mouth.
278
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:29,178
You will help the Gerbil King
defeat Wikileaks once and for all.
279
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,640
But the choice is yours.
I'm not here to make you do anything.
280
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,392
Like that underage salmon.
I didn't make her do anything.
281
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,937
If she wants to do bass to mouth,
how is it my fault?
282
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:42,441
Catatafish made
the salmon suck ass hole
283
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,653
It's being exaggerated again!
284
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:49,114
Just tell us where Lemmiwinks is,
so we can kill this stupid rat.
285
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:52,576
Careful, child,
Wikileaks is anything but stupid.
286
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,955
Except when he said
I made that fish perform ass to trout.
287
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,206
Stupid and untrue.
288
00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,084
Did I say ass to trout?
I meant bass to mouth.
289
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,878
Though it's basically the same thing.
Not that I did it.
290
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,306
- Are we sure we're alone?
- We're alone.
291
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:15,975
What the hell are we gonna do?
292
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,477
What can we do?
We're all gonna get fired.
293
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,355
This story hasn't gone up yet.
Maybe it won't.
294
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,273
Right.
295
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:25,859
Faculty tries to poison their students.
That's not gonna be on Eavesdropper.
296
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,903
Let's just face it.
297
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:31,574
We made our beds.
We have to lie in them.
298
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,910
We just tried to keep another student
from killing themselves.
299
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,245
We're not bad.
300
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:37,788
We're not bad.
301
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,084
Maybe what we need
is to think outside the box.
302
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,753
If there's anything we've learned,
303
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:48,882
is that the only thing that makes
a story go away is a juicier story.
304
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,344
What's a bigger story
than all the students being made sick?
305
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,014
A student committing suicide?
306
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,432
That's right.
307
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,810
Corey Duran killed himself last year.
We're still dealing with the fallout.
308
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,021
Maybe there is a way out of this.
309
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,857
But we're gonna have
to throw Eric Cartman under the bus.
310
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,525
How do we do that?
311
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,402
We get a bus,
312
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,238
and then we throw
Eric Cartman under it.
313
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:22,166
- Does a Vernon Trumpski live here?
- Vernon's around somewhere.
314
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,459
Come on, guys.
315
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,171
Excuse me.
316
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:30,925
There he is.
317
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,426
It's Lemmiwinks!
318
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,763
- We need something to carry him in.
- Here's a shoe box.
319
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:39,600
- What are you doing with my gerbil?
- We just need to borrow him.
320
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,728
Mom!
Some kids are stealing my gerbil!
321
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,229
We don't have much time.
322
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:47,149
Wikileaks is about to post
his biggest scoop ever.
323
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,567
Lemmiwinks can stop him.
324
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:50,360
Mom!
325
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:54,365
There's no time.
You must take Lemmiwinks now!
326
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,574
Grab him.
327
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,621
Mom!
328
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,209
Quickly!
We must get to the school!
329
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:09,463
Wait!
330
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,423
Run, run
The battle's on
331
00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:13,759
Wikileaks and Lemmiwinks
332
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,721
- Can't this thing go any faster?
- Hang on, Lemmiwinks!
333
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,723
Go, Lemmiwinks
334
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,892
Stop Wikileaks
335
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:22,935
Still clear?
336
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,312
Nothing on the website yet.
337
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,607
Faster, driver!
The final battle is about to begin!
338
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,027
Go, Lemmiwinks
339
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,529
Stop Wikileaks
340
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,161
What the hell happened?
341
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,413
He killed himself!
342
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,125
Eric Cartman killed himself.
Did you see that?
343
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,584
Why would he do it?
344
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,546
Wait, here's a suicide note.
345
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:55,342
"Dead guys,
I just cannot go on, m'kay.
346
00:18:55,717 --> 00:19:00,389
"I'm tired of being fat, m'kay,
and I have to end it all, m'kay."
347
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:02,558
Can this wait?
348
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:05,477
We have the only way
to stop Eavesdropper.
349
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,022
Why the hell didn't you say so?
Let's go!
350
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:10,399
To battle!
351
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,157
Quickly!
While Lemmiwinks still has it in him!
352
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:26,498
353
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,834
Stop right there, you little rat!
354
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,841
You have chosen a path of evil,
and now, you shall pay.
355
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,551
Sparrow Prince!
Catatafish!
356
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,999
He is fucking him up.
357
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,464
I think Lemmiwinks killed him.
358
00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:23,680
He did it.
359
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,684
Let's just delete
all this tabloid garbage.
360
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:34,733
I'm sure glad that's over with.
361
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:39,071
We all learned a lesson about laughing
at other people's misfortunes.
362
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:39,988
I'll say.
363
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:45,327
I know we kind of threw you
under the bus,
364
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:48,831
but I hope you understand
the faculty didn't really have a choice.
365
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,874
It's OK.
I'm totally over it.
366
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,210
I think you're being
very mature about this.
367
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:57,339
It was an overly generous move for you
to give all the faculty those cupcakes.
368
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:01,176
- I want to thank you.
- You are most certainly welcome.
369
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:02,844
Students, why don't we...
370
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:06,974
You feeling all right?
371
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,643
I'll be right back...
372
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:14,439
It's bad!
373
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,358
Excuse me, kids.
I need to run...
374
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:19,820
I put a lot of horsey sauce on this.
375
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:23,031
Somebody get me some paper towel,
or maybe a...
376
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,870
It's bad!
377
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:32,207
Congratulations, Lemmiwinks.
378
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:35,085
Thanks to you,
private lives will stay private.
379
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:39,381
We are all free once again
to make teenagers do bass to mouth.
380
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,675
Just one question.
381
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,553
How does it feel
to have killed your own brother?
382
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,601
He's devastated.