1 00:00:00,291 --> 00:00:03,003 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:38,091 --> 00:00:39,474 That's real funny. 3 00:00:39,871 --> 00:00:42,660 Big Hairy and Mike in the morning talking about the new hit movie 4 00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:45,735 It's a great comedy, it's starring... 5 00:00:45,860 --> 00:00:46,903 and... 6 00:00:47,028 --> 00:00:48,638 I saw the movie last night, Big Hairy, 7 00:00:48,639 --> 00:00:50,142 It made me laugh so hard. 8 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,981 This movie is about a... 9 00:00:52,676 --> 00:00:53,942 and suddenly all like... 10 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,929 Oh man, it's great. 11 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,559 Big Hairy and Mike in the morning. 12 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,424 We'll talk more about it, but let's get to music. 13 00:00:59,549 --> 00:01:02,256 The new Twin Wave band with their song... 14 00:01:27,211 --> 00:01:29,256 Coming this fall to FOX/CBS/FX, 15 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,217 Jurassic Park and Lost in the same TV show. 16 00:01:33,634 --> 00:01:35,007 Dinosaurs. 17 00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:36,346 Lost humans. 18 00:01:36,512 --> 00:01:37,472 Future, yeah. 19 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,312 Stanley, eat your waffles. 20 00:01:55,745 --> 00:01:58,210 Shut up Cartman, you don't even know what you're talking about. 21 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,412 I saw it on the news, Kyle. 22 00:02:00,848 --> 00:02:02,893 The school is going to make us all get shots again. 23 00:02:03,018 --> 00:02:05,559 But this time it's so that we don't get warts in our vagina. 24 00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:09,039 That's only a vaccination girls, stupid. 25 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,024 Why are they saying that getting vaccinated in school is gonna make us all retarded? 26 00:02:12,149 --> 00:02:15,925 Because some people think vaccinations can give you autism or Asperger's. 27 00:02:15,926 --> 00:02:18,532 - Wait, what? - That's what they're talking about on the news. 28 00:02:18,533 --> 00:02:20,432 Wait, there's a disease called ass burgers? 29 00:02:21,195 --> 00:02:22,254 You are so lying, 30 00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:24,498 there is no disease called fucking ass burgers. 31 00:02:24,623 --> 00:02:26,692 You wanna bet? Let's go ask my dad, right now. 32 00:02:26,693 --> 00:02:28,019 Ok. 33 00:02:47,029 --> 00:02:48,835 And so, children, at noon today, 34 00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:51,963 all the girls will go to the gymnasium for their vaccinations 35 00:02:52,031 --> 00:02:53,757 and boys will head on out to recess. 36 00:02:54,033 --> 00:02:56,593 Do the girls get their shots right in the vagina? 37 00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,919 No, butters, that's not how it works. 38 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,055 Mr. Garrison. 39 00:03:00,283 --> 00:03:02,390 These three boys were caught playing hooky. 40 00:03:02,556 --> 00:03:05,018 Did you guys know there's actually a disease called ass burgers? 41 00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:07,355 Sit down boys, we'll talk about this later. 42 00:03:07,356 --> 00:03:09,580 Right now, we're talking about vaginal warts. 43 00:03:09,705 --> 00:03:12,281 This isn't fair, how do the school make us get vaccinated? 44 00:03:12,406 --> 00:03:14,307 You mean little hamburgers grow in your butthole? 45 00:03:14,432 --> 00:03:17,795 - That's right, it's a butt fungus. - I don't want burgers coming out of my butt. 46 00:03:17,796 --> 00:03:18,990 God, shut up! 47 00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:21,302 Everyone just shut the fuck up! 48 00:03:26,881 --> 00:03:27,927 M'kay, stan, 49 00:03:28,052 --> 00:03:30,103 you got to try to pull yourself out of this. 50 00:03:30,228 --> 00:03:31,000 M'kay? 51 00:03:31,274 --> 00:03:33,964 I know that your parents recently got divorced. 52 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,567 M'kay? That's got to be hard. 53 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,689 I know that, that's bail. 54 00:03:38,955 --> 00:03:41,234 When you walk around all mope, m'kay? 55 00:03:41,359 --> 00:03:43,744 Saying everything is just shitty, well... 56 00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:46,068 that's called being a Debbie Downer, Stan. 57 00:03:46,445 --> 00:03:48,777 And nobody likes a Debbie Downer, m'kay? 58 00:03:50,988 --> 00:03:53,638 I mean you got the snap out of it, Debbie. 59 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:58,145 Come on Deb, you're even bumming me out now, m'kay? 60 00:03:58,432 --> 00:04:00,301 Your attitude just sucks. 61 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,759 I just want everything to go back to the way it was. 62 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,902 Okay, well that's not gonna happen, Debbie. 63 00:04:10,198 --> 00:04:13,003 Okay, you know life has to change, okay? 64 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:13,992 How? 65 00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:16,516 When all the things that made you laugh 66 00:04:16,641 --> 00:04:17,839 just make you sick, 67 00:04:18,646 --> 00:04:21,409 how do you go on when nothing makes you happy? 68 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:27,655 Excuse me a minute, Stan, m'kay? 69 00:04:31,491 --> 00:04:32,785 Hi, Miss Bronski? 70 00:04:33,058 --> 00:04:36,190 Did we vaccinate Stan Marsh for the flu last year? 71 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:37,868 We did? 72 00:04:40,022 --> 00:04:42,655 I think he's got Asperger's. 73 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:47,347 This is Breaking News from CNN. 74 00:04:47,348 --> 00:04:49,456 Or fox or whatever, fuck you. 75 00:04:50,029 --> 00:04:53,771 The first documented case of a child developing Asperger's syndrome 76 00:04:53,896 --> 00:04:57,206 from school vaccination has put the government in a tight spot. 77 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,311 At a press conference today, the media heard 78 00:04:59,312 --> 00:05:01,801 from the young boy's Father, Steamie Ray vaughan. 79 00:05:02,558 --> 00:05:05,138 It's pretty shitty when you work so hard to be a great parent. 80 00:05:05,576 --> 00:05:07,149 An then the government 81 00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,785 comes along with one shot turns your child into a 82 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,048 mentally incapacitated freak! 83 00:05:12,052 --> 00:05:13,170 I mean, look at him. 84 00:05:13,171 --> 00:05:15,725 He's disinterested, depressed, self loathing 85 00:05:15,726 --> 00:05:18,485 it's most likely the reason his mother and I got divorced. 86 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,202 In response to the embarrassment, 87 00:05:20,327 --> 00:05:23,389 the President of the United States has passed Stan's bill. 88 00:05:23,649 --> 00:05:25,992 Putting an end, to mandated school vaccinations. 89 00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:27,535 Mr. President, the bill's ready. 90 00:05:30,618 --> 00:05:32,633 Just sign right here, Mr. President. 91 00:05:34,479 --> 00:05:36,935 And if you could just sign this one as well, Mr. President. 92 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,910 It is yet unknown if any other children have contracted 93 00:05:42,911 --> 00:05:44,555 the Asperger's from the vaccinations. 94 00:05:44,556 --> 00:05:45,413 But if so, 95 00:05:45,538 --> 00:05:48,854 multimillion dollars source are probably not far behind. 96 00:05:51,228 --> 00:05:52,889 Turn on your heart light, 97 00:05:53,014 --> 00:05:55,001 let it shine wherever you go, 98 00:05:55,126 --> 00:05:56,648 they make us happy living. 99 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,081 Eric, what is it this time? 100 00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:09,160 Fever, lightheadedness. I don't know what's wrong with me. 101 00:06:09,326 --> 00:06:11,978 - You don't feel warm. - Oh, that's a relief. 102 00:06:12,047 --> 00:06:14,022 I thought maybe I had a fever but... 103 00:06:14,147 --> 00:06:16,331 Oh my buns, there's a sharp pain in my buns. 104 00:06:16,456 --> 00:06:19,170 - Can you lay on your stomach? - I'll try. 105 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,589 What is this? A hamburger? 106 00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,156 A what? 107 00:06:28,066 --> 00:06:30,233 Why are there hamburgers in your underwear? 108 00:06:30,234 --> 00:06:31,492 Are you serious? 109 00:06:31,617 --> 00:06:35,297 How can there be... God, you're saying I have ass burgers? 110 00:06:35,422 --> 00:06:36,705 This doesn't make sense. 111 00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,904 Are you trying to sneak food into the school or something? 112 00:06:39,029 --> 00:06:40,154 What are you talking about? 113 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,840 I got vaccinated from this school, and I clearly have ass burgers. 114 00:06:42,841 --> 00:06:43,722 Very funny. 115 00:06:43,723 --> 00:06:45,374 I'm glad you think ass burgers is funny. 116 00:06:45,499 --> 00:06:48,158 - Just know my condition on your record there. - Get out of my office. 117 00:06:49,123 --> 00:06:51,846 Hey Kyle, have you heard anything at all from Stan? 118 00:06:52,181 --> 00:06:53,229 I've tried, Wendy. 119 00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:55,032 I've called him, I've been to his house, 120 00:06:55,157 --> 00:06:56,537 but since his diagnosis 121 00:06:56,662 --> 00:06:58,168 all he's done has gotten worse. 122 00:06:58,641 --> 00:07:01,671 I don't know what to do, it's like he's completely turned off. 123 00:07:02,704 --> 00:07:05,145 Those two should just screw and get it over with. 124 00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:06,134 Yeah. 125 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,720 I can't keep doing it, Wendy. 126 00:07:07,789 --> 00:07:10,120 I know he has an illness but goddamn... 127 00:07:10,443 --> 00:07:13,707 it's like being around a black hole that just sucks the life out of everything. 128 00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:16,824 Look, maybe what we should do is go over to his house together 129 00:07:16,949 --> 00:07:19,022 - That way we could... - No, I can't, Wendy. 130 00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:21,757 All his negativity is starting to make me depressed. 131 00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:22,946 I have to let him go. 132 00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:25,368 And whatever happens next, I'm going to embrace 133 00:07:25,493 --> 00:07:27,485 with a totally positive attitude. 134 00:07:28,291 --> 00:07:30,923 Goddamn stupid school nurse, heartless bitch. 135 00:07:31,249 --> 00:07:32,869 What's the matter, dude? 136 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,231 I spent all morning making hamburgers for nothing, 137 00:07:35,356 --> 00:07:36,585 that's what's the matter. 138 00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,585 You made hamburgers? That's awesome. 139 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:39,853 I'd love one. 140 00:07:44,221 --> 00:07:45,662 This is really good, Cartman. 141 00:07:45,787 --> 00:07:47,001 - Really? - Yeah. 142 00:07:48,159 --> 00:07:50,722 Try this hamburger, Cartman made them himself. 143 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,395 Wow, what is that? 144 00:07:54,894 --> 00:07:57,190 Seriously Cartman, you could make money with these. 145 00:07:57,315 --> 00:07:58,703 Jeez, thanks, Kyle. 146 00:08:03,106 --> 00:08:06,702 The truth is we still know very little about Asperger's syndrome, Mrs. Marsh. 147 00:08:06,827 --> 00:08:10,299 All our patients here show the same social awkwardness 148 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,478 that your son exhibits. 149 00:08:11,479 --> 00:08:15,247 - Good morning, Mr. Mathers. - Goodbye, doctor. 150 00:08:17,805 --> 00:08:20,232 It's as if they all have an inability 151 00:08:20,357 --> 00:08:24,325 to distinguish from what is socially acceptable and what is not. 152 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:27,092 We've got a new patient, Mark, now I want you to meet Stan. 153 00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:28,498 Nice to meet you. 154 00:08:28,957 --> 00:08:31,815 Here at the treatment center, our focus is on awareness. 155 00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:35,007 Asperger's is serious, but unfortunately because Its of name 156 00:08:35,132 --> 00:08:37,517 people think it's a disease to be made fun of. 157 00:08:42,229 --> 00:08:44,214 All right, everyone, let's have a seat. 158 00:08:48,549 --> 00:08:50,868 We'll be done at about 5:00 P.M., Msrs. Marsh, 159 00:08:50,993 --> 00:08:53,161 - I'll call if it's any earlier. - Oh, right. 160 00:08:53,537 --> 00:08:55,713 Goodbye Stan, I love you. 161 00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,709 - All right, are we clear? - We're clear. 162 00:09:07,284 --> 00:09:10,300 Watch that window pop. Everyone make sure this room isn't bugged. 163 00:09:12,204 --> 00:09:13,845 All right Stan, listen up, we don't have a lot of time. 164 00:09:14,148 --> 00:09:16,202 You've been told Asperger's is real, it isn't. 165 00:09:16,327 --> 00:09:18,683 It's just a front we use to stay hidden. 166 00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,894 - Wait, it's not a real illness? - Of course not. 167 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,768 If there was a social development disease, 168 00:09:22,893 --> 00:09:25,857 you wouldn't call it Asperger's, that's just me. 169 00:09:26,923 --> 00:09:28,909 There's a big war going on out there, Stan. 170 00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:31,279 And we want to you join our fight to bring it all down. 171 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,615 No, no, no. We're not doing this. 172 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:36,162 You've broken through their reality and they don't like it. 173 00:09:36,287 --> 00:09:37,800 Others deserve to know the truth. 174 00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,897 You see everything as shit, don't you? 175 00:09:40,966 --> 00:09:43,363 Where other people see fun movies and hear cool music 176 00:09:43,488 --> 00:09:44,873 all you see and hear is shit. 177 00:09:44,998 --> 00:09:45,835 Am I right? 178 00:09:47,636 --> 00:09:48,338 Yeah. 179 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:49,434 So do we. 180 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:50,518 All of us here. 181 00:09:50,643 --> 00:09:52,008 We know the truth, too. 182 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,293 We found way to make it stop, Stan. 183 00:09:55,079 --> 00:09:56,373 Now are you interested? 184 00:09:56,653 --> 00:09:57,667 Or not? 185 00:10:00,763 --> 00:10:02,813 Next order, please. Get your Cartman Burgers here. 186 00:10:02,938 --> 00:10:04,104 Fresh and flavorful. 187 00:10:04,662 --> 00:10:06,648 I just can't believe how yummy these are. 188 00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:08,814 There you go, Mary. Turn it back and shake. 189 00:10:09,059 --> 00:10:11,819 - How are we doing those patties? - About three minutes, fat ass. 190 00:10:11,985 --> 00:10:12,777 Nice. 191 00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,856 We're out of finished burgers again, Eric. We need more. 192 00:10:15,981 --> 00:10:17,847 It's alright, I think another batch is just finishing off 193 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,779 in our top secret flavor enhancer. 194 00:10:19,904 --> 00:10:21,048 Come on, Cartman. 195 00:10:21,173 --> 00:10:24,332 As employees don't you think we can see what the secret Favor enhancer is? 196 00:10:24,734 --> 00:10:27,293 I'm sorry Kyle but if we compromise our final cooking process, 197 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:28,942 then our patented flavor will be be everywhere. 198 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:31,837 And we'll have to go back to school. Now, let me get those hamburgers. 199 00:10:36,347 --> 00:10:37,891 All right, these are good to go. 200 00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,399 - All right, is he ready to be sent in? - He's ready. 201 00:10:47,524 --> 00:10:48,564 Beta levels are normal. 202 00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:49,938 Who are you people? 203 00:10:50,063 --> 00:10:52,193 We're the secret society of cynics. 204 00:10:53,249 --> 00:10:55,073 Everything looks like shit to you, right? 205 00:10:55,406 --> 00:10:56,861 What if I were to tell you 206 00:10:56,986 --> 00:10:59,656 that you're seeing the world the way it actually is. 207 00:11:01,238 --> 00:11:04,062 The world around us has all completely turned to shit, 208 00:11:04,187 --> 00:11:08,501 but aliens are putting out a brain wave that keeps most people seeing a false reality. 209 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:11,308 - Aliens? - Or robots from the future, whatever. 210 00:11:11,433 --> 00:11:14,590 The point is they need to keep everyone in a blissful state of ignorance. 211 00:11:15,047 --> 00:11:17,342 Yeah, everything used to be awesome and cool 212 00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:20,698 but now everything's gone to shit and nobody knows except us. 213 00:11:20,969 --> 00:11:21,931 Yeah. 214 00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:23,266 Because of aliens? 215 00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:26,019 Or genetically altered humans, whatever, fuck you. 216 00:11:26,447 --> 00:11:29,812 All that matters is that you are the key to bringing this whole thing down. 217 00:11:29,937 --> 00:11:32,387 They know who we are, but they won't be expecting you. 218 00:11:32,512 --> 00:11:36,029 Are you ready to go back into the illusionary world you once lived in? 219 00:11:36,427 --> 00:11:38,239 - Yeah, I'm ready. - Let's send him in. 220 00:11:42,817 --> 00:11:43,661 Drink this. 221 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,440 Oh, cool. 222 00:12:02,231 --> 00:12:04,583 Jill, you got a date with Al Pacino. 223 00:12:04,708 --> 00:12:07,727 I think Al Pacino wants to play twister with your sister. 224 00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,118 Adam Sandler is funny. 225 00:12:15,023 --> 00:12:16,649 Hey Kyle, you have a visitor. 226 00:12:19,082 --> 00:12:20,792 - Stan? - Kyle! 227 00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:21,959 Hey, Stan. 228 00:12:22,084 --> 00:12:23,353 Dude, I'm sorry. 229 00:12:23,478 --> 00:12:25,986 I've been a shitty friend, I miss my buddy. 230 00:12:26,402 --> 00:12:29,323 You were right, Adam Sandler is fucking hysterical. 231 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:32,043 - Stan, are you all right? - Yeah dude, I totally get it now. 232 00:12:32,427 --> 00:12:35,088 I can see out lame I was saying everything was shit. 233 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,714 Really? Stan, that's great. 234 00:12:37,018 --> 00:12:39,011 Kyle, it's all shit! 235 00:12:39,012 --> 00:12:41,552 For real. Everything is shit because of aliens with AI, 236 00:12:41,718 --> 00:12:43,635 and you and me are gonna fuck it all. Come on! 237 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,306 Dude, have you been drinking. 238 00:12:45,472 --> 00:12:46,811 You're not listening to me Kyle. 239 00:12:46,936 --> 00:12:49,727 Dude we have to go do this one thing, and then everything can go back to normal. 240 00:12:49,893 --> 00:12:51,162 It's too late for that. 241 00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:53,035 Things just can't go back, Stan. 242 00:12:53,387 --> 00:12:55,153 I'm with Cartman Burger now. 243 00:12:57,102 --> 00:13:00,321 Dude, Cartman Burger, seriously? How shitty is that fucking concept. 244 00:13:00,487 --> 00:13:03,529 See, there you go again. Look at you dude, look what you become. 245 00:13:03,654 --> 00:13:05,639 - Everything's all right here, Kyle? - Yeah, fine. 246 00:13:05,764 --> 00:13:07,559 We're gonna need some patties pretty soon. 247 00:13:07,684 --> 00:13:09,718 - Yeah, I'll be right there. - Come on, Kyle. 248 00:13:09,843 --> 00:13:13,651 - This is about you and me, remember. - Look dude, things around here have changed. 249 00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:17,029 Sometimes, the only way to keep going is to make a left turn. 250 00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:21,958 Fuck you, Kyle. You're a piece of shit. 251 00:13:27,029 --> 00:13:28,671 Kyle, I love you. 252 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,481 You are a piece of shit, though, fuck you. 253 00:13:36,495 --> 00:13:37,481 I love you. 254 00:13:44,829 --> 00:13:48,870 Big harry and mike in the morning in case you didn't catch last night's episode of 255 00:13:49,489 --> 00:13:52,002 - We're breaking it down. - Oh, Big Hairy, with a... 256 00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:55,939 Oh, no, no, no. How about we... 257 00:14:04,532 --> 00:14:05,470 He's back. 258 00:14:05,950 --> 00:14:09,277 - Did you see the illusionary world again? - How did it feel to be back in the matrix? 259 00:14:09,402 --> 00:14:11,140 You feel like total shit. 260 00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:14,437 It's okay, that's just your brain levels adjusting back to the real world. 261 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,360 Try to focus, Stan. We've found them. 262 00:14:16,485 --> 00:14:18,191 We know where the rock creatures are now. 263 00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:19,831 The rock creatures? 264 00:14:20,091 --> 00:14:23,008 Aliens or AI things, whatever, fuck you. 265 00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:24,300 Dude, I can't... 266 00:14:25,109 --> 00:14:26,241 I can't do any... 267 00:14:26,697 --> 00:14:27,893 He's gonna pop! 268 00:14:31,141 --> 00:14:33,401 Come on kid, wake up, there's not a lot of time left. 269 00:14:33,526 --> 00:14:34,874 You're pushing him too hard. 270 00:14:35,278 --> 00:14:36,209 Oh, God. 271 00:14:36,524 --> 00:14:39,463 Stan, you have to convince people they're living in a world of illusion. 272 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:40,810 We're send you back in. 273 00:14:53,048 --> 00:14:54,806 We all know why we are here. 274 00:14:55,299 --> 00:14:58,460 There is a rebellion in our midst, and it must be squashed out. 275 00:14:58,779 --> 00:15:01,108 We have to put an end to Cartman Burgers. 276 00:15:01,274 --> 00:15:02,777 - Yes! - Let's go! 277 00:15:03,022 --> 00:15:06,277 At KFC, we've seen a 50% drop in sales. 278 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,557 It's worst at Pizza Hut, Cartman Burgers choked out the market. 279 00:15:10,637 --> 00:15:12,658 What makes them so good? 280 00:15:12,935 --> 00:15:16,791 Whatever reason is, Cartman Burgers satisfied taste craving for all of our restaurants. 281 00:15:17,128 --> 00:15:20,821 Realize the secret, it's a chemical compound of all our flavors. 282 00:15:20,822 --> 00:15:25,174 Pizza Hut, Burger King, KFC all somehow infused into one burger. 283 00:15:25,571 --> 00:15:29,061 It's as if he's somehow taking all the ingredient of our food. 284 00:15:29,186 --> 00:15:31,484 Breaking them down in to some kind of gas, 285 00:15:31,609 --> 00:15:35,184 and then somehow infusing that gas into his hamburger. 286 00:15:35,649 --> 00:15:37,937 What kind of instrument can he be using to do this? 287 00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:40,820 They would have to be some kind of super Dutch oven. 288 00:15:41,095 --> 00:15:43,526 But a dutch oven with greater technology than we've ever seen. 289 00:16:00,724 --> 00:16:01,684 Hey! 290 00:16:02,954 --> 00:16:04,797 Wake up. Come on, can wake up. 291 00:16:05,701 --> 00:16:07,091 Use the smelling sauce. 292 00:16:11,421 --> 00:16:12,551 Enchirito? 293 00:16:13,419 --> 00:16:14,557 You know the secret? 294 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,183 What? You guys are aliens? 295 00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:17,686 Stop playing with us! 296 00:16:18,017 --> 00:16:20,938 What's the secret behind Cartman Burger's amazing taste? 297 00:16:21,759 --> 00:16:22,815 Dude, I don't know! 298 00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,056 He's lying. 299 00:16:24,314 --> 00:16:25,898 You see this kid in the picture? 300 00:16:26,362 --> 00:16:28,099 This guy is his best friend. 301 00:16:29,696 --> 00:16:30,865 I'm not friends with him. 302 00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:33,618 They have been through everything together, inseparable. 303 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,661 No, no, we don't hang on anymore. 304 00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:36,846 All right. 305 00:16:36,971 --> 00:16:39,832 Like someone would just walk away from a friendship like that. 306 00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,322 Dude, I didn't walk away. 307 00:16:41,447 --> 00:16:44,170 I turned ten and everything he wanted to do seemed shitty to me so I... 308 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,287 Oh, sure. 309 00:16:45,412 --> 00:16:48,866 Anyone would dish out on their best friend 'cause they weren't feeling good. 310 00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:52,428 Now, stop playing games and tell us why Cartman Burgers are so delicious. 311 00:16:52,848 --> 00:16:53,846 I don't know. 312 00:16:55,003 --> 00:16:55,910 All right. 313 00:16:56,035 --> 00:16:58,484 I guess we'll have to do this the hard way. 314 00:17:01,144 --> 00:17:03,107 There's ten mediums and five medium rares. 315 00:17:03,232 --> 00:17:05,325 All right, I'll take these to the flavor enhancer. 316 00:17:05,627 --> 00:17:06,650 Next, please. 317 00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:11,113 Kyle, you gotta tell me the secret to Cartman Burger. 318 00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:14,700 - What are you doing? - How do you guys make them so yummy? 319 00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:15,660 I don't know. 320 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:19,246 You better get him to tell you or you're going to get shot in the back of the head. 321 00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:20,304 You get that? 322 00:17:20,429 --> 00:17:22,291 Dude, just tell me the secret to Cartman Burger. 323 00:17:22,457 --> 00:17:25,795 Why? So that we lose our business and everything can go back to old times? 324 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,172 No, because there's aliens with a sniper chicken on me. 325 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,245 Oh, God. 326 00:17:29,569 --> 00:17:32,387 Look, I know you got Asperger's from the school and I'm sorry. 327 00:17:32,512 --> 00:17:34,428 But your negativity is poison to me. 328 00:17:34,594 --> 00:17:35,503 All right. 329 00:17:35,628 --> 00:17:39,308 Like a friend would walk out on somebody who's diagnosed with a serious illness. 330 00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:41,792 Dude, I'm sorry that I've been bumming you out. 331 00:17:41,917 --> 00:17:45,147 - But it's not my fault. - You said fuck you to my face, Stan. 332 00:17:45,313 --> 00:17:47,066 Dude, I didn't realize what I was saying. 333 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,123 Yeah, right. 334 00:17:48,248 --> 00:17:51,362 Like any friend would say something that severe then try to take it back. 335 00:17:51,661 --> 00:17:54,467 All right, look, I honestly don't know the secret, dude. 336 00:17:54,592 --> 00:17:57,118 Only Cartman does and that's how it's gonna work for us. 337 00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:58,994 God, dammit, this is getting us nowhere. 338 00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:01,607 Everyone get back. 339 00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,685 You want to play hard ball, that's fine. 340 00:18:05,023 --> 00:18:07,715 Let's see this mighty machine once and for all. 341 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,406 You vampire sons of bitches! 342 00:18:18,694 --> 00:18:20,076 All right, nice work, Stan. 343 00:18:20,343 --> 00:18:21,784 Now comes the final step. 344 00:18:21,885 --> 00:18:23,795 You have to take out duck president. 345 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,039 Just stop it. 346 00:18:26,164 --> 00:18:27,909 You people are so full of shit. 347 00:18:28,034 --> 00:18:30,693 Looks like the serum is clearing off. You better take some more. 348 00:18:32,293 --> 00:18:33,616 No, I'm done with that. 349 00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:38,321 But Stan, you have to take down the bad guys and go through a personal transformation, 350 00:18:38,446 --> 00:18:40,508 so that everything can go back to the way it was. 351 00:18:40,633 --> 00:18:43,028 I don't want everything to go back to the way it was. 352 00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,081 I don't. 353 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:48,627 You were right, Kyle. 354 00:18:48,977 --> 00:18:51,972 Sometimes the only way to go forward is to take a big left turn. 355 00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,227 I've been resisting it but I'm ready now. 356 00:18:54,787 --> 00:18:56,548 I want you to stay with Cartman Burger, dude. 357 00:18:56,673 --> 00:18:57,244 It's okay. 358 00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,568 You're gonna do this, and I'm gonna to do my thing and 359 00:18:59,693 --> 00:19:01,634 my mom and dad aren't getting back together. 360 00:19:01,742 --> 00:19:03,298 You know what? It's okay. 361 00:19:03,423 --> 00:19:05,060 In fact, it's better. 362 00:19:05,867 --> 00:19:08,200 Change is gonna bring new things for all of us. 363 00:19:08,325 --> 00:19:10,673 Where will Cartman Burger go from here? That will be cool to see. 364 00:19:10,798 --> 00:19:12,586 It opens me up to whole new adventures, 365 00:19:12,711 --> 00:19:15,070 exploring new relationships with all new people in town. 366 00:19:15,498 --> 00:19:17,498 Maybe this kid will become my new best friend. 367 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:18,921 Or maybe this kid will. 368 00:19:19,352 --> 00:19:22,262 Maybe it won't be like before, but at least it'll all be new. 369 00:19:22,692 --> 00:19:25,080 And that's what's gonna make it so that I can keep going. 370 00:19:25,862 --> 00:19:28,650 For the first time in a long time, I'm really excited. 371 00:19:31,388 --> 00:19:33,792 Stan! Stan! Get in the car, Stan. 372 00:19:33,917 --> 00:19:35,549 Your mom and I are moving back in together. 373 00:19:36,793 --> 00:19:39,011 - What? - We worked it out, pal, surprise! 374 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:40,971 No, dad, no. No, please. 375 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,418 We talked a lot and we know it's what's best for you kids. 376 00:19:44,543 --> 00:19:46,060 And, I don't know. 377 00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,350 No, mom, sometimes you gotta left turn. 378 00:19:48,475 --> 00:19:49,992 People get older, Stanley. 379 00:19:50,253 --> 00:19:52,032 And as you get older you realize 380 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:55,760 the best thing to do is just stick with what you know. 381 00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:20,690 Wou were sticking these in your ass, Cartman? 382 00:20:48,105 --> 00:20:51,414 Big Hairy and Mike in the morning, talking about "Two and A Half Men" 383 00:20:51,539 --> 00:20:54,197 I think Ashton Kutcher makes it the show to be seen, Mike. 384 00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:57,992 And what about that movie "Dolphin Tale", I'm psyched for that. 385 00:20:58,495 --> 00:21:00,313 It's Big Hairy and Mike in the morning. 386 00:21:00,438 --> 00:21:03,142 Let's hear one from the band Sladjammer and their song... 387 00:21:06,545 --> 00:21:08,526 Dude, we're going to see the new Zookeeper movie. 388 00:21:08,651 --> 00:21:10,187 Zookeeper 2, Zoo Creepier! 389 00:21:13,177 --> 00:21:14,476 Okay, coming. 390 00:21:26,888 --> 00:21:33,285 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com