1
00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:10,985
I'm going out to South Park
gonna have myself a time
2
00:00:11,043 --> 00:00:14,337
Friendly faces everywhere
humble folks without temptation
3
00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:17,674
I'm goin out to south park
gonna leave my woes behind
4
00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:21,011
Ample parking day or night
people spouting howdy neighbor
5
00:00:21,053 --> 00:00:24,155
I'm heading out to south park
to see if i cant unwind
6
00:00:24,181 --> 00:00:27,475
I like girls with big fat titties
really big fat titties
7
00:00:27,518 --> 00:00:30,657
So come on out to south park
and meet some friends of mine
8
00:00:30,752 --> 00:00:32,358
Episode 10x13
"Go God Go Part XII"
9
00:00:32,548 --> 00:00:34,696
The year is 2006
10
00:00:34,696 --> 00:00:39,220
and young Eric Cartman cannot wait for
the new Nintendo Wii to come out.
11
00:00:39,233 --> 00:00:41,624
Unable to cope with the wait any longer
12
00:00:41,637 --> 00:00:44,621
Eric decides to freeze himself for three weeks.
13
00:00:44,621 --> 00:00:47,751
But a freak avalanche makes
Eric impossible to find
14
00:00:47,759 --> 00:00:52,600
and so he remains frozen for 500 years.
15
00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:52,341
Whoa, steady!
16
00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:54,772
This way, otters!
17
00:01:57,446 --> 00:01:59,971
This is it. New New Hampshire.
18
00:02:00,027 --> 00:02:04,011
We have risked much
bringing you here, Time Child.
19
00:02:05,036 --> 00:02:07,791
Can it. You otters may have
evolved to the point you can talk
20
00:02:07,796 --> 00:02:10,013
but I don't need lectures.
21
00:02:10,447 --> 00:02:13,960
Don't let the time child out of your sight.
He could try to run.
22
00:02:14,028 --> 00:02:15,582
We have a deal, Blavius.
23
00:02:15,587 --> 00:02:18,821
As long as I get what I want,
you have nothin' to worry about.
24
00:02:21,236 --> 00:02:23,570
Something is spooking the ostriches.
25
00:02:23,616 --> 00:02:27,731
Sure. This is Monarch land now.
Probably Jarvis probes everywhere.
26
00:02:27,877 --> 00:02:29,522
Here it is!
We have arrived.
27
00:02:29,598 --> 00:02:32,383
Hold!
This is it, Time Child.
28
00:02:32,426 --> 00:02:36,012
The old museum of technology,
abandoned long ago.
29
00:02:36,096 --> 00:02:38,790
Let's get what you want, Time Child
and get out of here.
30
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:46,590
Over here!
31
00:02:47,388 --> 00:02:49,490
Yeah it's here! It's here!
32
00:02:49,638 --> 00:02:52,120
The Nintendo Wii...
33
00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:55,552
I've waited so long for this.
34
00:02:57,066 --> 00:02:59,352
All right, Time Child,
we've filled our side of the bargain.
35
00:02:59,425 --> 00:03:01,140
Now return with us to Otter Bay.
36
00:03:01,198 --> 00:03:03,600
Sorry Blavius. I've got other plans.
37
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,442
No!
- It was a trick!
38
00:03:07,505 --> 00:03:10,682
Science damn you, Time Child!
39
00:03:13,325 --> 00:03:15,271
I got it! I got the Wii!
40
00:03:15,327 --> 00:03:17,532
Time Child! You've returned!
41
00:03:17,587 --> 00:03:20,253
We thought for sure you had
died in the in the Phobart plant.
42
00:03:20,327 --> 00:03:23,753
Yeah. Lucky for me the otters
believed I was on their side.
43
00:03:24,025 --> 00:03:26,452
Do me a favor:
next time I'm in a recessed biocave
44
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,721
don't send me a level 2 homing call.
45
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,640
TC, wait!
46
00:03:32,366 --> 00:03:35,163
Oh I can't wait!
This is gonna be so awesome!
47
00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:36,770
Get out of my way!
48
00:03:36,835 --> 00:03:41,182
You gained the otters' trust?!
Were you wearing an information crystal?!
49
00:03:41,277 --> 00:03:42,241
Here.
50
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:45,470
Science be praised.
This could end the war!
51
00:03:45,537 --> 00:03:49,153
You've done a great thing, TC.
How can we repay you?
52
00:03:49,248 --> 00:03:50,832
Just send a maintenance guy to my room.
53
00:03:50,837 --> 00:03:54,163
I want this Nintendo hooked
up to my float screen now!
54
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:58,140
Come on! Come on!
55
00:03:58,185 --> 00:04:00,480
Dude, what is taling so long!
I wanna play!
56
00:04:00,557 --> 00:04:03,053
What kind of output does this have?
57
00:04:03,126 --> 00:04:06,592
This is some ancient Super-VHS
output or somethin'.
58
00:04:06,596 --> 00:04:09,332
I can't connect it to your float screen.
59
00:04:09,498 --> 00:04:12,640
There's gotta be some way to hook it up!
It's the freakin' future!
60
00:04:12,716 --> 00:04:14,191
It may be the future for you
61
00:04:14,195 --> 00:04:18,481
but I can't hook up anything to a float screen
without at least a laser-7 output.
62
00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:21,630
You've gotta be shittin' me!
Science-damnit!
63
00:04:21,718 --> 00:04:24,172
I am so fucking sick of the future!
64
00:04:24,236 --> 00:04:26,210
TC? What's wrong?
65
00:04:26,287 --> 00:04:30,670
I'll tell you what's wrong! I've been waiting
500 years to play the Nintendo Wii!
66
00:04:30,727 --> 00:04:33,531
And if I don't get to play real soon,
I'm gonna bust a nut!
67
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:37,671
Well, we're all glad you're back.
I know somebody who's missed you very much.
68
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,822
Come on in, K-10.
69
00:04:40,277 --> 00:04:43,452
Bark bark. Hello, Eric.
I have missed you.
70
00:04:43,526 --> 00:04:46,331
Suck my balls, K-10.
I'm not in the mood.
71
00:04:46,426 --> 00:04:47,570
United Atheist Alliance
72
00:04:47,735 --> 00:04:53,462
Fellow atheists, the time child has returned
with information on our sworn enemies
73
00:04:53,465 --> 00:04:55,920
the Allied Atheist Alliance.
74
00:04:55,976 --> 00:04:59,343
They have started digging
for clams in sector J7.
75
00:04:59,346 --> 00:05:04,172
If we mount an all-out attack,
we can wipe out their food supply!
76
00:05:04,298 --> 00:05:08,002
But, those are civilian otters.
- We cannot tolerate the otters!
77
00:05:08,097 --> 00:05:12,842
Their Science is flawed! Their answer to
the Great Question is different from ours.
78
00:05:12,905 --> 00:05:16,230
Yes, but sending out all our ships
at the same time...
79
00:05:16,235 --> 00:05:18,711
it would leave our city exposed!
80
00:05:18,875 --> 00:05:23,770
That's why we have to be super-duper sure
that nobody finds out we're doing it.
81
00:05:24,015 --> 00:05:26,421
Unified Atheist League
82
00:05:26,676 --> 00:05:29,840
The United Atheist Alliance is about
to send out all its defense ships
83
00:05:29,858 --> 00:05:32,823
to take down the Allied
Atheist Allieance's clam fields.
84
00:05:32,888 --> 00:05:37,593
Praise Science. This is your chance,
young Shvek, to avenge your father's death.
85
00:05:37,656 --> 00:05:38,741
Careful, son.
86
00:05:38,748 --> 00:05:42,591
Just because their Science leads them to
a different answer to the Great Question
87
00:05:42,597 --> 00:05:44,820
doesn't mean we have the right
to kill them all.
88
00:05:44,937 --> 00:05:48,970
No! Our answer to the Great Question
is the only logical one.
89
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:51,153
Our Science is great.
90
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:55,800
Let us not forget the great Richard Dawkins who
finally freed the world of religion long ago.
91
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:58,981
Dawkins knew that logic
and reason were the way of the future.
92
00:05:59,046 --> 00:06:01,961
But it wasn't until he met his beautiful wife.
93
00:06:02,268 --> 00:06:05,700
That he learned using logic
and reason isn't enough.
94
00:06:05,878 --> 00:06:09,643
You have to be a dick to everyone
who doesn't think like you.
95
00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:11,783
Prepare all the troops!
96
00:06:11,827 --> 00:06:16,670
We will level the United Atheist Alliance
to the ground!
97
00:06:17,297 --> 00:06:22,581
With new Glade monvert cleaner, you can
make your monvert sparkle like never before.
98
00:06:22,668 --> 00:06:25,482
My monvert's never looked so clean.
99
00:06:25,655 --> 00:06:29,411
God I hate future TV.
There's too many commercials!
100
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:33,143
I'm so bored.
- There's nothing to do.
101
00:06:33,228 --> 00:06:34,201
Tell me about it.
102
00:06:34,276 --> 00:06:37,421
Hey, I know!
Let's crank call people in the past!
103
00:06:38,096 --> 00:06:40,830
I just got the Crank Prank Time Phone!
104
00:06:40,885 --> 00:06:43,880
Crank Prank, Crank Prank Time Phone.
105
00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:47,121
New, from Blasbro,
it's Crank Prank Time Phone!
106
00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:52,631
I just dial a random number on the keypad,
enter a date and year on the debilibrator and...
107
00:06:52,718 --> 00:06:55,761
Wow! Someone from the past is on the line!
108
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,592
Hello? Is there a refrigierator running?
109
00:06:58,676 --> 00:07:01,263
Well then, you'd better go catch it!
110
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:04,712
Crank Prank, Crank Prank Time Phone.
111
00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:05,412
What?
112
00:07:05,418 --> 00:07:11,721
Hi. It's the year 1973, right?
Could I speak to Al Coholic, please?
113
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,601
Crank Prank Time Phone comes with debilibrator
114
00:07:14,607 --> 00:07:18,471
antimatter fusion cone
and 30 plain HF watt triggers.
115
00:07:18,475 --> 00:07:20,952
Warning: Crank Prank Time Phone
is for entertainment purposes only.
116
00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:23,442
Making anything other than crank calls
to the past could affect the present
117
00:07:23,456 --> 00:07:24,360
and end your existence.
118
00:07:24,375 --> 00:07:27,482
Crank Prank Time Phone
is not intended for the use by otters.
119
00:07:27,756 --> 00:07:29,891
Why didn't anyone tell me
there was a time phone?!
120
00:07:29,957 --> 00:07:31,782
Why does it matter? Bark bark.
121
00:07:31,828 --> 00:07:33,871
Don't you see?
If I get one of those phones
122
00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:37,703
I can call myself in the past
and tell me not to freeze myself.
123
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:42,121
Then I can go back into my time
and play Nintendo Wii.
124
00:07:42,226 --> 00:07:44,941
Bark bark.
That call is for crank calling only.
125
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,393
Using it in the way you describe is illegal.
126
00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:49,962
I care! Where's the closest toy store?
127
00:07:50,047 --> 00:07:53,322
Working, bark bark.
The Jarvanian shopping complex.
128
00:07:53,397 --> 00:07:55,330
But it is not open yet.
129
00:07:59,665 --> 00:08:02,573
Come on! Come on!
130
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:05,762
Store is now open.
Welcome.
131
00:08:05,845 --> 00:08:08,492
Finally!
- Welcome to Zeebod's Toys.
132
00:08:08,545 --> 00:08:10,200
I want one of those time-phone things.
133
00:08:10,225 --> 00:08:12,712
The Crank Prank Time Phone. Sure.
134
00:08:12,776 --> 00:08:15,062
Now, I am required by the state
to make sure you know
135
00:08:15,068 --> 00:08:17,920
this is for prank-calling
the past only, right?
136
00:08:18,016 --> 00:08:19,940
Yeah, I'm only gonna prank-call people.
137
00:08:20,055 --> 00:08:22,512
All right, that'll be 6000 credits.
138
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:26,660
Six thousand credits?!
What do I look like to you? A Thurilian miner?!
139
00:08:26,828 --> 00:08:29,641
This is a pretty advanced piece of equipment.
It's expensive.
140
00:08:29,707 --> 00:08:32,792
Look, I have to have one of those phones!
141
00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:37,272
Oh, all right,
then I have to have 6000 credits.
142
00:08:37,797 --> 00:08:41,281
Bark bark, I'm sorry, Eric, bark bark.
143
00:08:41,597 --> 00:08:43,510
How about a robot?
How much for the robot?
144
00:08:44,803 --> 00:08:48,514
Sorry, kid, you're just gonna have
to crank-call people in the present.
145
00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:50,364
Science-damnit!
146
00:08:50,461 --> 00:08:54,101
Wait. K-10, can you access
the store's sales records?
147
00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:56,843
Working, bark bark. Access.
148
00:08:56,915 --> 00:08:59,210
I want the name and address of anybody
who's bought a time phone
149
00:08:59,215 --> 00:09:00,581
from this guy in the past week.
150
00:09:00,636 --> 00:09:02,523
Working, bark bark.
151
00:09:05,137 --> 00:09:07,813
The United Atheist Alliance has taken the bait!
152
00:09:07,885 --> 00:09:12,393
Soon they will send their ships out
to destroy our decoy clam fields!
153
00:09:12,467 --> 00:09:16,410
And while their ships are away,
the United Atheist League intends to attack them!
154
00:09:16,465 --> 00:09:18,381
Our plan has worked perfectly!
155
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:21,991
For when the United Atheist League
attacks the United Atheist Alliance
156
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:24,293
we will charge in and kill them all!
157
00:09:24,358 --> 00:09:27,612
Our Science, our answer
to the Great Question shall prevail!
158
00:09:27,658 --> 00:09:31,722
Hail Science!
159
00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:38,753
And I will personally kill the Time Child
and eat his entrails on my tummy!
160
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,421
I'll get it, darling.
161
00:09:48,515 --> 00:09:51,163
Hello?
162
00:09:51,247 --> 00:09:54,722
Yes, hello?
I'm calling for Mr. Wall?
163
00:09:54,856 --> 00:09:57,093
I'm sorry, there's no Mr. Wall here.
164
00:09:57,188 --> 00:09:58,731
Oh. Is Mrs. Wall there?
165
00:09:58,836 --> 00:10:02,380
No, there are no Walls here.
- Then how does your roof stay up?
166
00:10:03,717 --> 00:10:07,202
Oh, I see! Is this the Johnson boys
from down the street?!
167
00:10:07,367 --> 00:10:10,320
No, we're from the future.
- Very funny!
168
00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:13,412
Hi, I'm a Pepper and I'm wondering
if you'd like to be a Pepper too?
169
00:10:13,416 --> 00:10:15,282
God darn ya!
170
00:10:16,336 --> 00:10:18,371
Yeah.
- That was a great one!
171
00:10:22,396 --> 00:10:24,302
Hello, I'm with the cubic waste department.
172
00:10:24,387 --> 00:10:27,003
I need to check your lowertram for inhibitors
173
00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:29,452
Oh. Okay, I guess.
174
00:10:29,597 --> 00:10:31,262
Come on in, Bob.
175
00:10:32,997 --> 00:10:36,032
All right, just let me use my tools...
176
00:10:37,567 --> 00:10:38,502
Hey!
177
00:10:39,007 --> 00:10:42,411
Stupid assholes!
I got your time phone!
178
00:10:42,807 --> 00:10:45,822
Science H. Logic!
What a jerk!
179
00:10:55,066 --> 00:10:57,822
Silence, otters!
180
00:10:58,217 --> 00:10:59,973
It's the Wise One.
181
00:11:00,036 --> 00:11:02,493
The Wise One speaks.
182
00:11:03,108 --> 00:11:09,812
This is not the path we should be taking.
Will more bloodshed end anything?
183
00:11:09,897 --> 00:11:14,382
Wise One, our answer to the Great Question
is the only one based on good science.
184
00:11:14,445 --> 00:11:18,851
Science, reason, is that really all there is?
185
00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:21,153
They are not a logical race, Wise One!
186
00:11:21,238 --> 00:11:23,940
They go around chopping down trees for tables
187
00:11:24,008 --> 00:11:26,342
when they have perfectly
good tummies to eat on.
188
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:27,711
How logical is that?!
189
00:11:27,795 --> 00:11:31,742
Yes! The great Dawkins said we cannot
tolerate those who don't use reason!
190
00:11:31,818 --> 00:11:35,413
How reasonable is it to eat off
wood instead of your tummy?
191
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,893
Well perhaps the great Dawkins wasn't so wise.
192
00:11:38,958 --> 00:11:43,632
Oh, he was intelligent, but, some of the most
intelligent otters I've ever known
193
00:11:43,688 --> 00:11:46,722
were completely lacking in common sense.
194
00:11:47,178 --> 00:11:51,221
Maybe, some otters do need
to believe in something.
195
00:11:51,366 --> 00:11:54,760
Who knows?
Maybe, just believing in God
196
00:11:54,766 --> 00:11:57,381
makes God exist.
197
00:11:59,808 --> 00:12:02,281
Kill the Wise One!
- Kill the Wise One!
198
00:12:02,397 --> 00:12:05,111
Wait wait!
199
00:12:15,197 --> 00:12:17,542
Oh God!
200
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,041
Hello?
201
00:12:25,798 --> 00:12:27,833
Hello?
202
00:12:28,728 --> 00:12:29,920
Are you there?
203
00:12:29,968 --> 00:12:30,920
Who is this?
204
00:12:31,045 --> 00:12:33,312
No, no, I have me.
All right, all right, listen!
205
00:12:33,368 --> 00:12:36,670
Listen to me carefully!
You need to be patient!
206
00:12:36,738 --> 00:12:38,713
What?
Who the hell is this?!
207
00:12:38,776 --> 00:12:41,093
It's me.
- Me who?!
208
00:12:41,205 --> 00:12:42,660
Me you!
209
00:12:42,798 --> 00:12:44,622
What?!
- I'm you in the future!
210
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:47,221
You have to be patient
and wait for the Nintendo Wii to come out
211
00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:50,132
or else you'll wake up in the future
and have to deal with a bunch of see otters!
212
00:12:50,195 --> 00:12:53,132
Very funny, Kyle!
- It's not Kyle, it's you!
213
00:12:53,195 --> 00:12:55,170
Yeah? Well you can go fuck yourself.
214
00:12:55,235 --> 00:12:58,321
I'm trying to do you a favor, dumbass!
Just listen to me!
215
00:12:58,438 --> 00:13:00,392
Listen to this!
216
00:13:01,366 --> 00:13:02,911
Dickhead.
217
00:13:07,627 --> 00:13:09,801
What an asshole!
218
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:14,770
Hello?
219
00:13:14,845 --> 00:13:16,753
Butters? Butters!
220
00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,672
Eric? Is that you?
221
00:13:18,758 --> 00:13:21,151
Butters! Listen to me!
Just listen.
222
00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,511
I'm about to come over to your house
and ask you to help me freeze myself.
223
00:13:24,575 --> 00:13:27,121
Do not do it!
224
00:13:27,626 --> 00:13:29,760
Eric, are you playing a joke on me again?
225
00:13:29,836 --> 00:13:31,341
No! This is not a joke!
226
00:13:31,406 --> 00:13:36,721
Whatever I say to you, Butters, no matter
how hard I try do not do what I tell you!
227
00:13:36,888 --> 00:13:38,083
But...
228
00:13:38,157 --> 00:13:40,271
but you're here right now.
229
00:13:40,756 --> 00:13:42,913
Butters?! Come on, we gotta go!
230
00:13:42,985 --> 00:13:46,161
No! Don't listen to me!
Tell me to go screw myself!
231
00:13:46,418 --> 00:13:48,222
Come on, Butters, it's gonna get dark!
232
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:51,320
But, you're telling me not to go with you.
233
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,061
What?
234
00:13:53,698 --> 00:13:56,571
Who the fuck is this?!
- Damnit, just listen to me!
235
00:13:56,678 --> 00:13:58,762
If you freeze yourself,
you're going to die!
236
00:13:58,806 --> 00:14:01,410
Suck my balls!
- No, you suck my balls!
237
00:14:01,478 --> 00:14:03,701
Just listen to me for one minute!
238
00:14:03,878 --> 00:14:05,541
Okay, you have one minute.
239
00:14:05,606 --> 00:14:07,950
Right before you left for Butters' house,
you drank a buncha Ovaltine
240
00:14:07,956 --> 00:14:11,611
and put Clyde Frog in the closet
so nothing would happen to him, right?
241
00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:15,251
Are you spying on me?!
- No, I am you, you stupid asshole!
242
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,851
Fuck you, asshole.
You can go fuck yourself!
243
00:14:17,916 --> 00:14:19,893
Come on, Butters, we're going!
244
00:14:20,058 --> 00:14:21,622
Allright then.
245
00:14:22,097 --> 00:14:23,750
God I hate that guy!
246
00:14:24,766 --> 00:14:26,751
My friends, the time has come!
247
00:14:26,827 --> 00:14:30,143
May Science give us the courage
to do what we must!
248
00:14:30,215 --> 00:14:36,592
Launch all defensive ships to sector J7!
Take out the otters' clam fields!
249
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:42,851
Sir! The United Atheist Alliance
has sent out all their ships.
250
00:14:42,907 --> 00:14:45,912
Their capital is now unprotected.
251
00:14:46,358 --> 00:14:50,641
Then begin the attack!
Science be praised.
252
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:03,800
Kill the table-eaters!
In the name of Almighty Science!
253
00:15:11,506 --> 00:15:12,530
Hello?
254
00:15:12,676 --> 00:15:14,820
Hello? Kyle?
255
00:15:14,897 --> 00:15:17,683
Hello?
- Yes. Hello, Kyle. It's Eric.
256
00:15:17,725 --> 00:15:19,331
How's it going?
257
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,840
What do you want?!
258
00:15:20,905 --> 00:15:23,250
Kyle, you are the smartest guy I know
259
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,740
so I think maybe you're the only person
who can understand this.
260
00:15:25,797 --> 00:15:28,391
You know how earlier today I asked
you to help me freeze myself?
261
00:15:28,445 --> 00:15:31,723
I'm not going to help you freeze
yourself, Cartman! It's a stupid idea!
262
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,782
No, see, I know it's a stupid idea.
263
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:37,061
Because, I actually did freeze myself and...
264
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:37,912
you were right, Kyle.
265
00:15:37,928 --> 00:15:43,352
It backfired and I was frozen for 500 years
and now I'm calling you from the future.
266
00:15:46,008 --> 00:15:47,960
No, really, Kyle, I'm I'm seriously.
267
00:15:48,045 --> 00:15:49,463
Here, talk to my robot dog.
268
00:15:49,507 --> 00:15:52,950
Bark bark.
Hello, Kyle. Bark bark.
269
00:15:54,836 --> 00:15:57,633
I'm hanging up now.
- No, Kyle, listen! Please!
270
00:15:57,708 --> 00:16:00,133
I think right about now,
I'm in my mom's freezer.
271
00:16:00,218 --> 00:16:02,200
Suck my balls, fatass.
272
00:16:02,278 --> 00:16:04,982
I will. I will suck your balls, Kyle.
273
00:16:04,996 --> 00:16:08,580
Just stop me from freezing myself
and I will get down on my knees
274
00:16:08,585 --> 00:16:12,361
and I will suck your balls.
I'll suck 'em dry, Kyle.
275
00:16:13,838 --> 00:16:18,780
Goddamnit, now you've made me miss my ride!
My whole day is screwed up because of you!
276
00:16:19,958 --> 00:16:22,180
Kyle? Kyle!
277
00:16:22,306 --> 00:16:24,850
Eric, I really think you should
stop calling the past.
278
00:16:24,857 --> 00:16:26,220
You could change the present.
279
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,981
Well I don't notice anything different, KIT-9!
Do you?
280
00:16:29,038 --> 00:16:32,021
I guess not, meow meow.
281
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,622
I see...
282
00:16:48,928 --> 00:16:51,472
TC! We're under attack!
- By who?!
283
00:16:51,535 --> 00:16:55,303
We have to get to the War Room!
It's the only safe place!
284
00:16:57,757 --> 00:17:01,813
The United Atheist League is bombing the city!
We're defenseless!
285
00:17:01,918 --> 00:17:05,931
This is terrible! I'm gonna die in the future
without ever playing Nintendo Wii?!
286
00:17:05,996 --> 00:17:08,553
Sir! The sea otters are advancing!
287
00:17:08,598 --> 00:17:11,480
They've broken through the east portal!
288
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:19,252
What?!
Three-way phone channel onscreen!
289
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,131
What are you otters doing?!
This is our attack!
290
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,422
Yes. And we're attacking both of you!
291
00:17:24,486 --> 00:17:27,192
You fools! This will be the end of us all!
292
00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:30,840
Then accept our answer to the Great Question
and we will withdraw.
293
00:17:30,938 --> 00:17:33,862
Your answer to the Great Question is illogical!
294
00:17:33,947 --> 00:17:38,133
What is the Great Question?
- What atheists should call themselves.
295
00:17:38,216 --> 00:17:42,130
Unified Atheist League
is the most logical name.
296
00:17:42,206 --> 00:17:45,110
Unified Atheist Allianace makes more sense.
297
00:17:45,175 --> 00:17:47,591
No! Allied Atheist Alliance!
298
00:17:47,656 --> 00:17:51,081
That way it has three A's!
That is the logical choice!
299
00:17:51,168 --> 00:17:55,113
So be it.
We cannot agree, prepare to die.
300
00:17:55,187 --> 00:17:57,382
Forward missiles launched, sir!
301
00:17:57,495 --> 00:17:58,841
I have to get out of here!
302
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,802
Why is everyone in my past so stupid
that they think I'm crank-calling them?!
303
00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:06,173
But Eric, meow meow, you knew the wife
of the smartest man in history.
304
00:18:06,268 --> 00:18:07,080
Who?
305
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,513
Your teacher, the one called Garrison.
306
00:18:09,628 --> 00:18:12,620
Garrison? But he's an asshole.
307
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:19,040
Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm a monkey!
308
00:18:19,107 --> 00:18:20,781
Give this monkey what she wants!
309
00:18:20,798 --> 00:18:23,281
Oh Ms. Garrison!
310
00:18:23,597 --> 00:18:25,492
Damnit, who the hell is calling?!
311
00:18:25,558 --> 00:18:28,871
I'll thell them to call you back.
Oh, yeah.
312
00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:33,090
Garrison residence.
Can you call back later, please?
313
00:18:33,176 --> 00:18:35,432
It's an emergency!
314
00:18:35,478 --> 00:18:36,673
An emergency?
315
00:18:36,728 --> 00:18:39,220
I need to speak to Mr. Garrison right now!
316
00:18:39,277 --> 00:18:42,062
I'm sorry, but Mr. Garrison has passed away.
317
00:18:42,128 --> 00:18:46,423
Mrs. Garrison is the only person here
and she's rather tied up at the moment.
318
00:18:46,556 --> 00:18:48,761
Look asshole, this is a real emergency!
319
00:18:48,768 --> 00:18:53,721
Just pass the phone to whatever Garrison wants
to call himself since the sex-change operation!
320
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:56,320
Sex-change operation?
321
00:18:59,255 --> 00:19:00,892
You're a man?!
322
00:19:00,958 --> 00:19:03,100
Not anymore.
I've been fixed.
323
00:19:03,155 --> 00:19:05,102
Richard, hold on.
I can explain.
324
00:19:05,157 --> 00:19:09,331
Explain?
How can I be so stupid?
325
00:19:09,627 --> 00:19:12,732
Richard, come back, please!
326
00:19:13,316 --> 00:19:16,001
Well go ahead and leave,
you atheist faggot!
327
00:19:16,006 --> 00:19:19,291
Have fun mocking God in hell!
You queer!
328
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:23,562
Mr. Garrison!
329
00:19:28,316 --> 00:19:31,032
All right, Eric.
Are you all set to go?
330
00:19:31,836 --> 00:19:35,133
Go... Right.
Where am I going?
331
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:39,341
We told you: we're sending you home.
With the Crank and Wank Time Machine.
332
00:19:39,405 --> 00:19:40,912
Don't worry, my son.
333
00:19:40,916 --> 00:19:45,661
When you return to your time you will merge
with your other self. It's all very Zen.
334
00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:49,341
Wait. Isn't everybody at war over atheism?
335
00:19:49,487 --> 00:19:53,952
Atheism? No. We've learned to get rid
of all the isms in our time.
336
00:19:54,065 --> 00:19:58,462
Yes. Long ago we realized isms
are great for those who are rational
337
00:19:58,466 --> 00:20:03,480
but in the hands of irrational people,
isms always lead to violence.
338
00:20:03,595 --> 00:20:06,991
So there is no war now in the future.
- Of course there's war.
339
00:20:07,027 --> 00:20:09,850
The stupid French-Chinese think
they have a right to Hawaii.
340
00:20:09,888 --> 00:20:11,320
Yeah!
341
00:20:11,537 --> 00:20:15,350
But now the moment has come
to send you back to your time.
342
00:20:15,968 --> 00:20:20,200
We unfroze you for a purpose
and now that purpose is fulfilled.
343
00:20:20,268 --> 00:20:21,703
And what was that purpose again?
344
00:20:21,748 --> 00:20:24,861
We explained that to you already.
- Right.
345
00:20:24,967 --> 00:20:28,101
Goodbye, Eric. I will miss you.
Squawk squawk.
346
00:20:28,156 --> 00:20:30,121
I'll miss you too, COCKA-3.
347
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:33,353
So long, Eric.
And tell everyone in the past for us
348
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:37,393
that no one single answer...
is ever the answer.
349
00:20:43,848 --> 00:20:47,012
I'm back.
Wow! I'm back!
350
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:50,561
There you are, Eric.
- Mom! Mom, they did it!
351
00:20:50,628 --> 00:20:54,362
Eric, you have to come home. You can't
just wait here for that game to come out.
352
00:20:54,435 --> 00:20:58,553
No, I know. You're right, Mom.
I need to learn to be patient.
353
00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:01,981
I think I can wait three weeks
for Nintendo Wii to come out.
354
00:21:02,245 --> 00:21:04,230
But, honey, it's only September.
355
00:21:04,237 --> 00:21:07,453
That Nintendo Wii doesn't
come out for two months.
356
00:21:07,955 --> 00:21:09,251
What?
357
00:21:09,407 --> 00:21:10,962
No!
358
00:21:11,498 --> 00:21:12,663
No!
359
00:21:12,776 --> 00:21:15,761
You sent me back too far!
Hey! Do it over!
360
00:21:15,845 --> 00:21:18,601
Who are you talking to, muffin?
- I can't wait two months!
361
00:21:18,685 --> 00:21:21,391
I can't!
There has to be a way around this!
362
00:21:21,457 --> 00:21:24,960
Hey, kid, somebody's on the phone for you.
363
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,383
Hello?
364
00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:29,290
Hello?
365
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:32,330
I know what you're thinking!
Do not do it!
366
00:21:32,376 --> 00:21:35,040
You just need to be patient
and wait the two months!
367
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:37,123
Do you hear me?!
368
00:21:37,738 --> 00:21:40,460
Suck my balls, Kyle!
369
00:21:40,727 --> 00:21:43,390
Transcipt: spscriptorium
Sync: muter for www.forom.com