1 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:02,900 Due to this week's tragic events in Hawaii the "Lemmiwinks" 2 00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:05,600 episode of South Park will not be shown tonight 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:10,200 Instead, we present the all new and slightly better episode, AWESOM-O. 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:31,300 Episode 8x02 AWESOM-O 5 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:43,300 synchro [VO]: Ozone www. forom. com 6 00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:53,700 What the heck? 7 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,600 Whoa! What a huge package! 8 00:00:56,100 --> 00:01:00,400 " To Butters Stotch. " Oh boy! It's for me! It's for me!! 9 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:03,200 "Sent from: Japan. Konichi-wa. " 10 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,700 Wow! A package for me from Japan!! 11 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,600 Wow, what can it be? My birthday isn't until September 11th. 12 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,000 Oh boy! I've never gotten a package this big! I've always wanted to have a huge package. 13 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,100 Greetings. I am the AWESOM-O 4000. 14 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:29,500 Whoa... 15 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:34,000 I have been sent from Japan to serve as your personal robot. 16 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,200 You... you're my robot? 17 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,700 Yes. I will be your new best friend. 18 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,000 Oh wow! 19 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,000 Yep. That's right. He's a real live robot. He can walk and talk and everything. 20 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:47,700 You're like the fourth kid I told already. 21 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,900 Well I gotta go Dougie. My robot and I have stuff to do. 22 00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:54,300 Heheh, they're all so jealous! 23 00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:58,600 I'm so glad you came into my life, AWESOM-O. You're the best friend a guy could have. 24 00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:04,100 Yes. You can trust AWESOM-O. In fact, you should tell AWESOM-O all your most personal secrets. 25 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,900 AWESOM-O will not make fun of you or tell your secrets to other people and stuff. 26 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:11,100 Hey yeah! Well I can tell you anything, huh? 27 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,600 Well lessee... Well, for one, I have what's called a heziated colon 28 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,800 which means I sometime can't control my sphincter. 29 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,000 Could be. 30 00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:23,100 Well, nobody knows it, but sometimes I poop my pants, so I have to wear a diaper to school. 31 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:26,100 You okay, AWESOM-O? 32 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,800 Yes. AWESOM-O is fine. Please go on. 33 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,000 Well, I have to take medicine for it every day. 34 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,800 It's a little suppository I have to... put up my rectom. 35 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,500 That, that's very interesting. Tell AWESOM-O more secrets. 36 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:39,800 Hm, okay. Let's see 37 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,900 Oh, my parents don't know, but sometimes I get picked on by this one kid at school. 38 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,000 his name is Eric Cartman, and he always tries to play jokes on me and stuff. 39 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,300 Oh, really? 40 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,800 Yeah. One time he made me think a meteor had hit the earth, 41 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,400 and convinced me to stay down in a bomb shelter for three days. 42 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,500 Heh. Wow, that sucks. 43 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,400 Yeah. And then this other time, he pretended to be me on the phone to my dad 44 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,200 and called him a pussy, so my dad came home and beat me. 45 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:05,200 Wow. Sounds like this Cartman kid is pretty smart. 46 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,600 No, he's not smart! He's just an asshole. 47 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:10,400 And he's never gonna play on me ever again! 48 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,200 Really? You think so? 49 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,200 Well, guess what, Butters. I have a surprise for you. 50 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:16,900 Yeah, and he's never gonna get me again! 51 00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:20,200 Cause what Cartman doesn't know is that I know one of his secrets! 52 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:21,600 What? 53 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:24,000 When Cartman is playing all alone in his backyard, 54 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,100 he likes to dress up like Britney Spears and pretend he's her! 55 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,200 Hi sings and dances around with a life-sized cutout of Justin Timberlake. 56 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:32,700 You saw that? 57 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,100 Yeah! And I videotaped him doing it! 58 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,400 - Nuh uh. I've got the whole thing on tape! 59 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,600 Even him making out with the Justin Timberlake cutout! 60 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:41,900 No way. 61 00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:46,100 Yeah! And if Cartman ever messes with me again, I'm gonna show that video to everybody! 62 00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,800 Then I'll Ihave my revenge, boy howdy! 63 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,500 ...Um, where is this videotape, Butters? 64 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,100 Huh? Oh, I dunno. It's around here somewhere. 65 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,800 Hey! So what do you wanna do now, AWESOM-O? 66 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:59,400 Uh, Butters, maybe you should give AWESOM-O the videotape? 67 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,100 How come? 68 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,700 Well, because... AWESOM-O can, like, back it up for you 69 00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,400 , and make copies and stuff. I am AWESOM-O. 70 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,300 Oh, that's all right, AWESOM-O. Come on! I have a lot of things to teach you. 71 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,600 Oh, son of a bitch! 72 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,800 Hey there have you heard about my robot friend? 73 00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:21,800 He's metal and small and doesn't judge me at all. 74 00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:27,100 He's a cyberwired bundle of joy. My robot friend. 75 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,500 I like to dip and daddle with my robot friend. 76 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,600 He's smart as can be and emotion-free. 77 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:40,200 And he's computin' his way to my heart. My robot friend. 78 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,300 My robot friend. 79 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,900 My robot friend. 80 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:49,800 My robot friend. 81 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,700 Ohhh, that's so cute. Did you see Butters and his friend Eric playing Robot. 82 00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,800 Yes. Those boys are quite imaginative. 83 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,200 Leave it to them to find a fun way to do the dishes. 84 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,100 That's great AWESOM-O! 85 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,800 You can carry all my laundry in one trip! 86 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:06,000 Ah, Buttters, it's getting late. You should be getting ready for bed soon 87 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,400 Okay Mom. Well, come on, AWESOM-O. Bedtime. 88 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,600 Oh, is your little robot friend staying the night? 89 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,100 Well of course he is. He's my robot, ain't he? 90 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,300 That's okay with your mom, Mr. Robot? 91 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,000 AWESOM-O does not have a mom. 92 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,700 Yup! Don't you know nothin' about robot? 93 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,800 Come on, AWESOM-O! You can put my laundry away! 94 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,400 Aww, that's just adorable. 95 00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:26,200 It's good to see Butters finally have a friend that wants to stay over. 96 00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:30,300 I like to brush my teeth in the morning and at night. 97 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,300 The teeth won't mind.. Jesus Christ I can't go on like this. 98 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:38,100 Butters, remember when you said you had a video of Eric Cartman dressed like Britney Spears? 99 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:39,600 Oh. Yeah. 100 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,500 I would like to see what he looks like 101 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,100 so I can beat him up for you. 102 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:44,600 May I see the video? 103 00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,300 Awww, you don't need to do that, AWESOM-O. 104 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,600 Hey, I gotta put in my suppository. Can you help me? 105 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:49,700 What? 106 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,200 Remember I said I put that medicinal suppository in my anus? 107 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,300 It'll be so much easier havin' you do it from now on. 108 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,300 Um. Actually, AWESOM-O was not programmed for that function. 109 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,400 Haw, it's real easy. I'll show you. 110 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:04,500 You just take this little thingy out of the plastic... paper, and and I'll, 111 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,500 I'll pull down my pants... and just slide it up in my anus there. 112 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:09,700 ...No way. 113 00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:12,500 AWESOM-O, I though you were programmed to do whatever I tell you. 114 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:14,300 Weak! 115 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,300 Yeyeah, that, that's pretty good. Get it up there good and deep. 116 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:19,300 Lame! 117 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,900 All right AWESOM-O, time for us to get some sleep. 118 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,600 Hey, you want me to teach you some bedtime songs? 119 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,700 If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me. 120 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,600 AWESOM-O must rest! His CPU system overloading. 121 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,700 Oh, o-o-all right AWESOM-O. Let's get us some shut-eye, 122 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,400 or what, or whatever robots have. 123 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,500 Where is it? Where is it?? 124 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,300 AWESOM-O?? AWESOM-O, what the Sam Heck are you doing? 125 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,400 Um, ah AWESOM-O is reorganizing your stuff for you. 126 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,400 Aw Jeez Jeez Louise! My mom is gonna be awful sore when she sees this mess! 127 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,600 Now AWESOM-O, that is a bad robot! 128 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,700 You can't do no chores for me unless I tell you to do them! You got it?! 129 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,700 AWESOM-O understands. 130 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,100 Now I'm gonna have to give ya a spankin', AWESOM-O, so that you'll learn better! 131 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,400 Just know, AWESOM-O, that I did it because I love you. 132 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,200 Okay, come on, let's go make some breakfast. 133 00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:29,500 Goddamnit, I have to find that videotape! 134 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,900 Look at that, AWESOM-O! I drew a picture of us playing in a field together. 135 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,400 Ah I'll be right back. I'm gonna get some Sunny Delight. 136 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,500 I would like some Sunny Delight too. 137 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:47,200 Don't be silly, AWESOM-O. Robots don't need to drink nothin'. 138 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,500 Whoa. Uh go answer the door, AWESOM-O. 139 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,400 AWESOM-O will answers the door. 140 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,000 What the hell are you doing, fatass? 141 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,600 Dude, are you still pretending to be a robot? 142 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,600 I just need to uh make Butters think I'm a robot for a little while longer. 143 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:03,800 Why? 144 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,700 Because I need to, all right?! I've got something planned that's uh gonna be really sweet. 145 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:09,700 Just play along, okay? 146 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:11,000 Why? 147 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,200 Kyle, Goddamnit, will you just do-? Who's at the door, AWESOM-O? 148 00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:19,300 Three boys named Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. 149 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,200 Ah, hey fellas! Ah I see you met my robot. 150 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,000 Uh yeah, Butters, he's real cool. Hey he sure is! 151 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,400 Hey he sure is! We do everything together. Why last night we even had a slumber party. 152 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,400 Weak. 153 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,500 He can do anything I command him to. He's real smart. 154 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,800 Watch this: hey AWESOM-O, will you go get my friends some Sunny Delight? 155 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,100 Yes, of course. 156 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,500 Oh wait. Hey AWESOM-O, 157 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,900 I'd also like some celery sticks chopped up two inches long, 158 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,400 with peanut butter and raisins on top. 159 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,700 Suck mah balls, Kyle. 160 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:52,500 He's made in Japan! 161 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,200 Yes, it has just been a delight having your son over, Mrs. Cartman. 162 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,200 He and Butters are really getting along great. 163 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,700 Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Mrs. Stotch. 164 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,700 Eric has been having some emotional problems lately. 165 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,100 Well, the reason I'm calling is that Butters is supposed 166 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,800 to go see his Aunt Nellie in Los Angeles this weekend. 167 00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:13,000 The boys are getting along so well that we were thinking of inviting Eric to go along. 168 00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:15,200 Oh, well, I'm not sure. 169 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,500 Actually, Eric is still supposed to be grounded 170 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,100 for trying to exterminate the Jews two weeks ago. 171 00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,400 Excuse me, I didn't catch that. 172 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,400 Oh, but I suppose it would be good for him. 173 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:29,200 Yes, of course he can go. I'll bring some of clothes over. 174 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,900 Maybe he put that videotape in here somewhere. 175 00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:34,700 AWESOM-O, what are you doing? My friends are waiting for their beverages. 176 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:35,400 Chop chop! 177 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,000 Hey guys, great news! 178 00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:42,100 It's been arranged: you two are both going to Los Angeles to visit Butters' Aunt Nellie! 179 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,400 Oh boy! My robot gets to come with me to see Aunt Nellie?! 180 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:46,000 What? 181 00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:49,100 Oh boy, AWESOM-O! We're gonna have the best time ever! 182 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,200 Lame. 183 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,400 Hey Nellie, guess what I found scrampin' around the airport. 184 00:09:58,500 --> 00:09:59,600 Howdy Aunt Nellie! 185 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,500 There's my little nephew! 186 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,600 How was your flight? 187 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:05,500 It was long. We had a three-hour delay ... departin' Denver, 188 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,300 but we're here! 189 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,500 Didn't ya bring any bags? 190 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,600 Well, sure, but my robot is bringin' them in. 191 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:10,600 Your robot? 192 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,300 Butters' new friend is a little strange. 193 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,000 He, he really takes playing Robot seriously. 194 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:19,800 There he is! 195 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,800 AWESOM-O, this is my Aunt Nellie. 196 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,800 Hello! It's nice to have you here. 197 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000 AWESOM-O must dispense oil waste. 198 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,000 Where is the nearest toilet, please? 199 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,100 Oh oh, right through there, Mr. Robot. 200 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,000 Thank you. 201 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,800 I don't think he took the costume off the entire trip. 202 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,600 Well, did you wanna get right to sight-seeing, 203 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,500 or are you guys hungry after such a long flight. 204 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,200 Nah, I ate on the plane. 205 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:42,200 And AWESOM-O is a robot, so he don't need to eat. 206 00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:43,600 Right... 207 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,000 AWESOM-O? 208 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,200 Aw-Aw-AWESOM-O is coming. 209 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,600 Come on, AWESOM-O! We're gonna go a-sightseein'! 210 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,800 I'm hangin' out in LA with my robot friend 211 00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:12,900 We're havin' such fun in the hot hot sun 212 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,300 We're two of a kind- That's me! 213 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:22,100 And my robot friend. My robot friend. 214 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,200 My robot... friend. 215 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:26,700 Can you believe we're at a real live movie studio, AWESOM-O? 216 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,100 Aren't we havin' the best time? 217 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,200 Butters, wouldn't you like to have some time away from AWESOM-O? 218 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,900 We could meet up later, perhaps? 219 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,100 Hey, look over there, AWESOM-O. 220 00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:35,400 The film studio commissary. 221 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,500 That's where all them rich movie producers who come up with uh, 222 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,600 Hollywood blockbusters have their lunch. Neato, huh? 223 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:44,400 Damnit, Mitch. How come our movie studio can't come up with any winners? 224 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,800 I mean, we're smart, right? We're really smart. 225 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,400 We need an idea for a movie that's a home run. 226 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,500 A feel-good romp for the whole family. 227 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,000 Hey, what's that over there? 228 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:57,100 Wow, that's a really neat little robot you have there, little boy. 229 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,000 What's he do? 230 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,100 Well, he can do anything. Watch this 231 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,800 Hey, AWESOM-O, who's gonna win the Superbowl next year? 232 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,300 The New Orleans Saints. 233 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:07,600 Hey, Mr. Robot, 234 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,800 how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 235 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,000 Seventeen. 236 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,000 Mitch, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? 237 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:22,100 Yeah. Maybe that robot can be programmed to come up with movie ideas! 238 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,500 Exactly! 239 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,200 Gentlemen, this little boy was kind enough to let us show you his robot. 240 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:29,700 The AWESOM-O 4000. 241 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,400 I've already seen what he can do. 242 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:34,600 Uh, excuse me sir, but uh, that's not a robot. 243 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:36,100 It's not? 244 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,100 No, it clearly had bipedal movement, 245 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,600 so the correct term is "computerized automatron. " 246 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,900 Oh, very nice, Mitch. You are the smart one. 247 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,100 Well, regardless, I believe maybe this automatron 248 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,700 can help us come up with new movie ideas. 249 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,200 How can a robot come up with better ideas for movies than us? 250 00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:55,600 Watch this: AWESOM-O, given the current trends of the movie-going public 251 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:59,600 can you come up with an idea for a movie that will break a hundred million box office? 252 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,900 Um... okay. How about this: 253 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:07,300 Adam Sandler is like, in love with some girl, 254 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,200 but then it turns out that the girl is actually a... 255 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,100 ...golden retriever, or something. 256 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,100 Oh, perfect! We'll call it "Puppy Love"! 257 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,000 Give us another movie idea, AWESOM-O! 258 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,200 Yeah yeah! Let's hear it! Yeah, we wanna hear it! Come on, come on! 259 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:26,300 Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler... inherits like, a billion dollars, 260 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,600 but first, he has to, like, become a... boxer, or something. 261 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,800 ...Yes, it's flawless! Punch-Drunk Billionaire! 262 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,300 Boy, Los Angeles is great, huh AWESOM-O? 263 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:41,700 Can you believe those guys paid us a hundred dollars apiece for those movie ideas? 264 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,600 You should split that money with AWESOM-O. 265 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,600 After all, they were AWESOM-O's ideas. 266 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,200 Hahaa, right! What are you gonna do with money, AWESOM-O? 267 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,800 Buy some robot pants? Haha, no! 268 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:53,600 We got each other and that's all we need, AWESOM-O. 269 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,400 I'm gonna send this money to needy kids in third-world countries. 270 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000 Ye, you okay AWESOM-O? 271 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,400 AWESOM-O needs to rest! Feeling faint. 272 00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:03,700 Well you go ahead and relax, AWESOM-O. 273 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,000 We've got another full day of pitching movies tomorrow. 274 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:14,300 Gentlemen, Ladies, we all know that we live in a time of uncertainty. 275 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,500 The risk of an attack on American soil is higher than ever. 276 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,900 Now, I believe we may be able to curb that risk. 277 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,400 Two days ago our intelligence department came across this: 278 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,700 The AWESOM-O 4000. 279 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,600 It is currently being used by Catamount Pictures to develop ideas for movies. 280 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:37,800 Our sources say that in just one week it has come up with over one thousand movie ideas, 281 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:40,000 eight hundred of which feature Adam Sandler. 282 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,000 That's incredible! 283 00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:47,400 You're thinking the robot could be used to come up with anti-Islamic movies? 284 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,800 No. If we got our hands on that robot, 285 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,100 we could reprogram it and turn it into a weapon!. 286 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:58,100 Uh huh. I don't see how we have a choice. 287 00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:01,400 Hold on a second: If that robot is designed for entertainment, 288 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,100 turning it into a weapon is unethical. 289 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:06,900 Unethical? Let me explain something to you, Mr. Scientist! 290 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,100 We understand that the robot is from Japan! 291 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,400 That means that the Japanese have more of them! 292 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:15,600 And if the Japanese fabricates one of them into a weapon before we do... 293 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:18,100 Jesus. It would be Pearl Harbor all over again. 294 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,400 But worse. With robots. 295 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,300 I I'm sorry, I must protest. 296 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:26,400 We, we have no data suggesting the Japanese have developed a robot with offensive capability. 297 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:31,400 You're paid to think, Mr. Scientist! National security is our jub. 298 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,700 Gentlemen, we're going to Los Angeles! 299 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,000 I want that robot! 300 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,900 Yeah, me and my robot are still over at the movie studio, Aunt Nellie. 301 00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,800 We're makin' all sorts of money for the poor. 302 00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:51,000 Movie idea number two thousand three hundred and five: 303 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:57,000 Adam Sandler is trapped on an island and falls in love with a coconut. 304 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:01,200 Great, AWESOM-O, great. Uh guys, take a break. I need a minute alone with AWESOM-O. 305 00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,800 You are an incredible robot, AWESOM-O. 306 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:12,200 I was just wondering... are you by chance a... pleasure model? 307 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:14,000 ...What? 308 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:19,700 Well, have you been programmed to... satisfy... urges of humans? 309 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,300 AWESOM-O does not understand. 310 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,300 Let me show you what I mean. 311 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,200 Well yeah, we're havin' a great time, Aunt Nellie. 312 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,100 These movie studio guys are real nice. 313 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,000 LAME! 314 00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,800 Yeah, we're makin' a bunch more money. I can't believe it either. 315 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,500 NOT COOL! TOTALLY LAME! 316 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:37,100 AWESOM-O? 317 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,400 Well, I gotta go, Aunt Nellie. Ah, AWESOM-O is havin' some kind of malfunction. 318 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,900 AWESOM-O? Hey, where'd ya go? 319 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,800 Let's go! Move, move! 320 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:54,900 AWESOM-O? 321 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:56,100 Hey, what are you doin' with him?! 322 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,900 That's my robot! 323 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,100 AWESOM-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 324 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,100 Are those arm and leg locks secure? 325 00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:19,100 Secure, sir! 326 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,800 Good. I don't want that robot mobile until I know what it's capable of. 327 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:23,900 All right, power it on. 328 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:30,700 What the hell? 329 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,700 What's going on? 330 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:34,700 It... powered itself back on. 331 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,000 Stand by. Be ready to destroy it. 332 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,600 Where the hell am I?! Hey, why can't I move?! 333 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:46,000 Are your systems stable? Run a systems check on your CPU. 334 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,500 The fuck are you talkin' about, dude?! 335 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,000 Ah, I'm sorry, robot, they want me to reprogram you. 336 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:52,900 I'm not a robot, dumbass! I'm alive. 337 00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:56,200 What did you say? I said I'm a real person, asswipe! 338 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,000 ...Oh my God. 339 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:00,600 What's happening? 340 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,500 The robot... It thinks it's alive. 341 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,400 It's developed consciousness. 342 00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:08,200 What? How can that be? 343 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,900 Must be a malfunction of its exographical IMS or the... 344 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000 interlaced BV system. 345 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,300 Speak in a language we can understand, Mr. Scientist! 346 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,900 Your robot doesn't know it's a robot! 347 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,800 Goddamnit, get me down from here! 348 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,100 Who made you, robot?! 349 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,100 I'm not a robot, I'm a human! 350 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,800 Jesus, the scientist was right. 351 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,500 But, who would have programmed it to think it was human? 352 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:31,500 The movie studio? 353 00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:34,100 Look, retards! My name is Eric Cartman! 354 00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:36,000 I live with my mom in South Park, Colorado! 355 00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:38,300 Dear Christ, they gave it memories, too. 356 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,400 Sure, why not? 357 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,400 Program the memories of some eight-year-old boy who doesn't exist, 358 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,100 and make the robot think he's real! 359 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,800 Makes for a lot better movies! 360 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:49,400 I'm not reprogramming a robot that's developed consciousness! 361 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,800 Do I have to remind you of your position?! 362 00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:53,900 Don't forget you have a duty to your country, 363 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,200 Mr. Scientist!! 364 00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,500 Scientist!! I want that robot's memories and consciousness E-RASED, 365 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,100 so we can take it back to Washington! GOT IT?! 366 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,000 Damn you all to hell!.. 367 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:14,400 Hey there, did you know I had a robot friend? 368 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:19,800 We used to laugh and play, but someone took him away. 369 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:25,200 He was my ten gigahertz old pal. 370 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,800 My robot friend. 371 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,300 Hey, wait a minute. 372 00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:35,600 Why, that's the van that- Oh my God! 373 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,700 Goddamnit, stop! I'm real! I'm real! 374 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,000 It'll all be over soon, robot! 375 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,200 Hang on! I'm getting you out of here, robot! 376 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,300 Aw, it's about freaking time, jackass! 377 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,300 What the hell are you doing?! 378 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,500 Well I, I'm saving a conscious being! 379 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,800 If you wanna kill it, you'll have to go through me! 380 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,900 Fine. Kill that son of a bitch! 381 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,900 No! Look, Goddamnit! Now I can show you stupid assholes who I really am! 382 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,600 AWESOM-O! 383 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:10,600 I am the AWESOM-O 4000. 384 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:17,300 No!! No, please! Don't kill him! He's my best friend! 385 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,400 He's my best friend in the whole world! 386 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:29,300 There. You see? You want to tell me this isn't humanity? 387 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,700 Who's to judge what makes somethng human anyway?! 388 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:37,800 Does this make me human?! Or this?! Or these?! 389 00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:44,300 Perhaps... there is consciousness in this robot. 390 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,400 Maybe we as a society need to realize that artificial intelligence 391 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:52,700 ...is intelligence all the same, and we can learn from the robots. 392 00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,600 I think maybe one day we can all- 393 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,600 Heh- wait a minute, did, did that robot just fart? 394 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:01,900 Hey, robots don't fart! 395 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,300 Uh... now ending fart sequence. 396 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,000 Oh, and it, it smells, too! 397 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,500 Smell sequence initiated. 398 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,500 A robot with smelly farts? 399 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,000 That doesn't make any sense. 400 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,500 Hang on a second here! 401 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:19,300 Would you like to touch my body? 402 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,100 Come on and touch my body! 403 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:22,800 Oooo, my hot body! 404 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,900 Don't you like my hot body? 405 00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:26,300 Come on and touch my titties! 406 00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,300 I felt them just like??? 407 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,500 Come on Justin, touch my body! 408 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:31,600 Mmm, Justin, yeah! 409 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,900 Touch my body! You and me! 410 00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:35,900 Check it out, my not-hot body! 411 00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,300 Come on, my body! 412 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,000 Wow, kid, you're a little faggot! 413 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:42,500 Lame... 414 00:21:43,000 --> 00:22:08,900 synchro [VO]: Ozone www. forom. com