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SouthParkNews.net (1.0)
La Fabrique
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Season 13 Episode 9
"Butters' Bottom Bitch"
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All right, guys.
Gather all around.
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Everyone should be a witness.
You ready?
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Now say, "I'm a dork
and I deserve what's coming to me."
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Come on, "I'm a dork
and I deserve what's coming to me."
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I'm a dork and I deserve
what's coming to me.
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Your turn, Craig.
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My underwear is so far up
my butt crack, my legs are numb.
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That's what you get
for being a douchebag.
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- You gotta take your medicine!
- I guess I deserve it.
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Why are you picking on him
this time?
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You are not going to believe this.
You know what we just found out?
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It turns out that Butters,
our Butters, has never kissed a girl.
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- So what?
- So what?
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I'm almost nine years old
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and anyone who hasn't kissed a girl
by fourth grade is a dork.
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That's right.
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We got it!
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We got it.
Sally Darson is selling kisses for $5.
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Selling kisses?
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She is behind the temp building
during afternoon recess.
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She'll kiss any boy.
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You mean
I'm gonna kiss a girl today?
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When she sticks her tongue out,
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you just kind of lick it with yours.
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Oh, boy. I sure am nervous.
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Nothing to be nervous about.
You're finally going to become a man.
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- I think you should reconsider this.
- How come?
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You don't want your first kiss
to be something you paid for.
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It must be special.
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Why don't you go sit under a rainbow
and write a poem, Kyle.
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I gotta do this.
I gotta know what it feels like.
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Oh, boy. Oh, jeez.
Stay calm, Butters.
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How was it?
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Pretty worth it.
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Go ahead, Butters.
Go get some.
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I'm going.
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I was hoping
maybe I could get a kiss.
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Okay, cool.
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Yeah, cool.
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So you got money?
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Money, right.
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There you go.
A five dollar bill, all for you.
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All right.
You ready?
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Thank you.
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Atta boy, Butters!
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You did it!
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- You're a man!
- Nice job!
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Boy, oh, boy.
I finally did it.
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I'm a man now.
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Geez. I'm gonna start
having lots of responsibilities soon.
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I gotta start
thinking about a career.
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There's gonna be family and bills
to start worrying about.
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No more playtime for you, Butters.
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You gotta buckle down
and find yourself a way to make money.
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I know!
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Hey, fellers!
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Fellers, do you like getting kisses?
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Because I know a girl
that'll give you a great kiss for $5.
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She'll kiss anybody?
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Sure, Scott.
Even if you got diabetes.
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It's almost like
having someone care about you.
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Thanks for bringing me
yet another customer.
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- Here's your $2 cut again.
- Boy, oh, boy! This sure is great!
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I been thinking.
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I could drum up
some third grade customers
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if you could do kisses
before school, too.
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- We could make double the money.
- That'd be great!
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But I can't do kisses before school.
I have swimming class.
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Nuts!
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Well, I did have another idea.
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What if we got another girl
to fill in for you sometimes?
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- What?
- You know.
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We bring someone on,
show her what to do,
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and then share our money together.
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You're right, Butters.
I should start expanding.
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We could have
our very own kissing company.
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The next key
to a successful business is innovation.
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Maybe we need to understand
that some boys simply can't afford
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the $5 for a kiss.
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So what if we start
also charging just $2 for a hug.
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- That's a great idea, Butters.
- Thanks!
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Sally, your position behind
the temp building at recess is perfect.
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Meagan, I'm moving you
to the baseball field after school
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- during little league practice.
- Got it.
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I got a kissing booth at the kid's fair,
Kayla and Ashley, you take turns there.
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Any girl that sells
more than twenty kisses gets...
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a little sunshine.
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But if you don't show up for work,
I'm afraid you get a stormy cloud.
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This is gonna be great!
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Sir, take a look at this.
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We've got rumors coming in
of a possible prostitution company
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starting up in South Park.
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What?
Not in my county!
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We've got no information,
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don't who they are,
or where they came from.
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So then we need
to go after the Johns.
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Let the men of this town
know that if they pay for sex,
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they're going to jail.
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Sting operation, sir?
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We need an undercover cop
disguised as a prostitute
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so we can arrest any citizens
looking for cheap thrills.
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Baby, you looking for a party?
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- How much are you charging?
- 20 for oral, 50 for half and half.
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Anal will cost you extra.
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Get in.
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Right here's good, sexy.
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Now if you wouldn't mind
handing over the $20
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for oral sex.
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All right, buddy.
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Go ahead and unbutton your pants.
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All right.
Here we go.
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Oh, man...
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- Sorry I was so quick.
- That's okay. Nothing wrong with...
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Freeze!
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You're busted, buddy.
I'm a cop!
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- What?
- This is a sting operation, scum bag.
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You'll go to jail
for soliciting prostitution.
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Got our first one.
I'm bringing him in for booking.
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Did you hear what's going on?
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There's four girls at the school now
offering to kiss boys for money.
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I heard that.
Even Stacey Anderson is selling kisses.
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Hey, fellas!
Would anybody like a coupon?
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We are offering two for one kisses
today through Thursday.
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You're the one doing all this?
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I am founder and head CEO
of the Butter's kissing company.
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Just look at this.
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You made all that money
off of chicks?
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It's the most genius idea
I ever came up with.
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A lot of boys
will pay to kiss my employees.
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You didn't think of anything.
Guys have been doing that for years.
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You're nothing but a common pimp!
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A pimp?
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Kyle was right, Sally!
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There's kissing companies
all over the country.
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"The person managing
all the women is known as the pimp."
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"While the working women
are referred to as
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ho or bitch."
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You're a bitch, Sally!
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Look at this!
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There's about to be
a big pimp convention.
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I gotta get to that convention.
I could learn all kinds a stuff.
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Hi, there!
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My name is Butters.
This sure is a nice convention, huh?
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I'm just starting out.
I really came last minute.
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Because I was hoping to learn more
about being a successful pimp.
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You?
You be pimping?
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Just about a week now.
I have four girls at the moment,
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but I feel like
I could be doing a better job.
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Now see, you think you a pimp,
but you can't be pimping.
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You wanna be a pimp,
then you gotta learn the game.
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It's all about knowing the game.
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What's the game?
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The game is how you treat the bitches.
Bitch gotta know when she out there,
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she making your motherfucking money,
know what I'm saying?
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You got your main bitch.
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That be your bottom bitch.
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That bitch rank higher
than all the other bitches,
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but she still a bitch,
know what I'm saying?
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I know what you are saying.
You don't have to keep asking.
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See, it's all about mind control.
You got to act the part.
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Any man can control a bitch's heart,
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but a pimp gotta control a bitch's mind,
know what I'm saying?
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I know what you're saying.
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Pimp gotta be out there everyday
keeping his bitches in line.
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Can't let em go shopping,
spending their money on stupid shit.
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Bitch got to think that's your money,
know what I'm saying?
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I believe I know
what you are saying!
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- There you are, Butters.
- Hey, dad!
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Butters, we heard a rumor that...
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you might have a little girlfriend.
Sally Darson?
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I got lots of girlfriends.
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Sally is just my bottom bitch!
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Do you know what I am saying?
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I've got to tell you,
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I don't do
this kind of thing very often.
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You're sure you're not a cop, right?
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No way!
Let's just get to this, baby.
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All right.
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You are agreeing to have sex with me
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for $100, correct?
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Sure.
I have the money.
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Remember he's going to give us
the code word to move in.
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Wait for the code word "Stretch".
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Code word is "Stretch".
Copy.
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- Get those pants down.
- You feel good.
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You're a nasty little fucker.
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Let me see that hot penis of yours.
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Nice.
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I'm ready when you are.
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- That's great.
- You like it?
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- I love it!
- You're a dirty fucker.
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Come on, harder!
Deeper!
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Teach me a lesson, daddy!
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00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,872
Teach this little whore a lesson!
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Yeah, that's right!
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00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:14,630
Oh, man!
199
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,760
Thank you.
That was great.
200
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,346
You've really worked it, daddy.
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00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,848
You really gave
my little hole quite a...
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00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:23,974
stretch!
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00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,310
That's it.
Move in!
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00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,607
Oh, God!
It's the police!
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00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:32,733
Freeze!
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00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,613
You are under arrest
for soliciting prostitution!
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00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,490
- Book him, boys!
- Please!
208
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,159
Please, don't do this.
I have a wife and kids!
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00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:43,661
A wife and kids.
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00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,497
And you're out here
trolling the streets for prostitutes?
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00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,999
You make me sick.
Take him downtown, boys.
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00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,709
I'm going back on the street.
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00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:59,093
That's it!
Recess is over, back to class!
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Boy, oh, boy.
Really great work bitches!
215
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,059
You all sold lots of kisses today!
Except for you Meagan.
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00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,812
I'm afraid you get
a stormy cloud sticker today.
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00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,565
So wait.
You're keeping all the money now?
218
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:16,318
I just hold on to all the money.
Bitches can't be trusted with it.
219
00:12:16,443 --> 00:12:18,654
We pool all
the kissing money together, see?
220
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,238
If you want to buy anything,
just talk to the bottom bitch,
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00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,200
and then
the bottom bitch talks to me.
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00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,911
See you after school,
do you know what I am saying?
223
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,498
Children I want you all
to copy down these math problems,
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and solve them before recess.
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00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,547
What?
226
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,966
Bitch, you wanna make
some motherfucking money?
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00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:39,967
What?
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00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,136
You should be
doing kisses on the playground.
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00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,054
You can make fifty bucks a day.
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00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,391
Buy all the stuff you've ever wanted.
I'll treat you right, bitch.
231
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,517
Shut up!
232
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,477
All right, then.
233
00:12:55,482 --> 00:12:57,776
Don't you wanna start
making some real fucking money?
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00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,571
- Leave me alone.
- You were made for the playground.
235
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,032
You should be working.
Don't you want a new lunchbox?
236
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,282
Nice new coat?
I can get all that for you, bitch.
237
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,952
Butters!
Dude!
238
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,246
- What?
- You can't call my girlfriend a bitch!
239
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,082
I'm just saying
the bitch should be working.
240
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,502
What you doing,
giving kisses to Stan for free?
241
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,670
You should be making
some motherfucking money.
242
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,588
If you don't stop this,
I'll kick your ass.
243
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,801
Clyde, here's a hundred bucks.
If Stan comes near me, punch him.
244
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:25,636
We've created a monster.
245
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,806
You should be putting
that mouth to work.
246
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,307
Butters?
Do you have a problem?
247
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,144
All these bitches
are kissing fellers
248
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:35,481
and they haven't figured out
they can make some serious money.
249
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,444
Really glad
you joined the company, Annie!
250
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:44,448
Now remember, you're charging
$5 for a kiss, two for a hug,
251
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,784
and six for half and half.
All right, bitch?
252
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,577
All right, how about a freebie?
253
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,376
- Butters, we should talk.
- Sure, Kyle!
254
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:58,504
Can't you see this is wrong?
You've got little boys
255
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,673
spending all
their lunch money on kisses.
256
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:03,425
Boys shouldn't be paying for kisses.
It's wrong.
257
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:07,137
Kyle, every boy pays for kisses.
Do you know what I am saying?
258
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,474
If you got a girl, and she kisses you,
sooner or later you're paying for it.
259
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,977
You gotta take her out to lunch,
take her to a movie
260
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,060
and listen
to all her stupid problems.
261
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,520
Look at Stan.
262
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:20,484
He's gotta listen to her stupid problems
because she kisses him.
263
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:24,571
You ask me, that's a lot more
than the $5 my company charges.
264
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,992
- Butters, what's happened to you?
- What happened is I became a man.
265
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,077
I'm sorry I'm not
your little buddy anymore.
266
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,870
There's a time
people have to grow up!
267
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,624
Do you know what I am saying?
268
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,377
Alpha Tau Omega!
269
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:42,339
ATOs!
270
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,301
All right, ATOs!
271
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,594
Our little Kevin is 21 today!
272
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,390
And so Kevin,
273
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,767
we would like
to welcome you to manhood,
274
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:55,394
our gift to you.
275
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:21,253
Give it to me!
276
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,505
Come on, you sissies.
I can fit more of you!
277
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,761
You like your stripper whore?
You like her?
278
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,847
Freeze!
279
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,353
Take them all to the station.
280
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,022
For oral and anal sex
with a prostitute.
281
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,982
Half of them didn't even use
a condom!
282
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:44,651
Don't you stupid kids know
the diseases you can catch?
283
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,653
Hand me that evidence bag!
284
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:55,829
Sir, some of us are wondering
if maybe you're not...
285
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:57,956
taking this role a bit far.
286
00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,500
What?
No way.
287
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,920
Nothing is more important than keeping
prostitution out of our community!
288
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,838
Hold on, that's my daddy.
289
00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:07,257
- Hey, daddy.
- Where you at, bitch?
290
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,924
I need my bottom bitch right now.
291
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,801
Yes, daddy, I'm on my way.
292
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,721
I made you my bottom bitch,
293
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:15,347
now you gotta take care of your pimp,
know what I'm saying?
294
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:16,558
Be right there.
295
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,103
Sorry, guys.
My daddy needs me right now.
296
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:25,943
Damn, bitch.
297
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,195
Your pimp beat your ass again?
298
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,947
He's an asshole.
299
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:33,200
I heard a rumor
about a new pimp up in Park County.
300
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,993
They say he's real respectful.
301
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,121
Lots a girls
are switching over to him.
302
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,332
A pimp that respects his hos?
Sign my ass up.
303
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,420
And that's $3,000 today for Sharise!
304
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:47,589
- Did I do good, daddy?
- Really great work, bitch.
305
00:16:47,714 --> 00:16:51,009
That is another
sunshine sticker for you.
306
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,428
Thank you, daddy!
307
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,310
I would like to see
308
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,021
if there are any housing loan
opportunities for my employees,
309
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,564
and also what corporate tax
I should be filing under.
310
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:09,528
And exactly what kind of business
are you running?
311
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,488
It's a kissing company!
312
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,408
- And you're making a profit?
- Sure.
313
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,243
My black employee Sharise,
314
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,621
one time she made $2,000
on one customer!
315
00:17:19,746 --> 00:17:22,916
Can you believe it?
$2,000 just to kiss a feller!
316
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:26,670
She currently stays in a motel room.
A lot of her customers see her late.
317
00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:29,590
You wouldn't believe the time of night
some guys want a kiss.
318
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:33,175
Do you keep any record
of the men getting these "kisses"?
319
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,638
Of course, my bottom bitch
keeps a database of all our customers.
320
00:17:36,763 --> 00:17:39,306
Specially the VIPs,
like senator Morris.
321
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,186
- Senator Morris?
- Sure!
322
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,897
Senator Morris gets kisses
every day at lunch time.
323
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,815
You know where he likes
to get kissed?
324
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,693
- Where?
- In a motel room.
325
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,528
Darndest thing.
He must get sleepy.
326
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,320
All right.
Get out of here!
327
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:55,949
- Why?
- I'm not falling for it!
328
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,326
But I heard ACORN
helps pimps and their bitches.
329
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,454
We aren't giving you anything.
Get out!
330
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,539
Mrs. Davis, is there
some kind of problem?
331
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,125
- No, sir.
- Mr. Daniels!
332
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,086
You get kisses from my bitch Roxie
in the ally behind Sizzler!
333
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,425
Boy!
How do you like that bitches!
334
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:16,762
Approval for two housing loans
and tax exempt status!
335
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,138
File these away, Sally!
336
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,934
Daddy, how come this ho
get to be bottom bitch?
337
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,519
- What?
- I make the most money for you.
338
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:27,062
That means if anyone
should be bottom bitch, it's me.
339
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,858
- Screw off, ho!
- Fair is fair, ho!
340
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,985
Well, well.
Bitches! Bitches!
341
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,611
Excuse me!
342
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,158
This must be the organization
343
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,325
I've been hearing so much about.
344
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,746
It took me a long time to find you.
345
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,667
You won't believe the hardships
I've been through to track you down.
346
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,252
My name is Yolanda.
347
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,380
I'd like to know
all about your operation here.
348
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:55,215
You see, I just left my pimp recently
and I'm looking for a new one.
349
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,470
We operate at a 60/40 split here.
350
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:01,765
Bitches have access to Medicare
and now low income housing loans.
351
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,936
I think that's about
all I need to hear.
352
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,106
What's that?
353
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,236
Yolanda, please!
354
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,280
You gotta come back to me!
355
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,530
I got nothing without you!
356
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,785
You gotta a lot of nerve
coming here, Keshawn!
357
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,453
After the way you treated me!
358
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,413
I need a pimp that doesn't beat me
every time he gets drunk!
359
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,376
I love you!
360
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,086
I need you.
361
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,297
Not as my bottom bitch.
I want...
362
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,799
I want to marry you.
363
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,595
It's too late for that, Keshawn!
364
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,265
I just told this pimp
I was his bitch now!
365
00:19:43,598 --> 00:19:44,766
Hold on, now!
366
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,311
I'd never get in the way
of somebody being happy.
367
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,480
Us pimps gotta be good,
even to each other.
368
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,400
Thanks, pimp.
369
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,028
You done changed the game,
that's what you did.
370
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,487
Marry me!
371
00:19:57,612 --> 00:20:00,490
We'll move to a little chateau
in Switzerland, get away from all this!
372
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,960
I love you so much.
373
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,171
- Babe, I love you too.
- So much, baby.
374
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,256
Let's just be happy, okay?
375
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,425
- Promise, baby?
- Promise.
376
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:23,930
Geez.
377
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,272
Gals, could you all
come gather around?
378
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,982
Gather around, gals, take a knee.
379
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:38,570
Gals, I'm afraid
I can't do this anymore.
380
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:40,572
I'm going to be leaving the company.
381
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,492
I enjoyed being your pimp and all.
It's just that...
382
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,369
When I see real love,
383
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:47,704
like what those two people have,
384
00:20:47,954 --> 00:20:49,623
it just makes me feel like...
385
00:20:49,956 --> 00:20:51,039
like a dick.
386
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,335
I may be a man now,
387
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,505
but it doesn't mean I have the right
to be earning money for what girls do.
388
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,673
Whether you charge fellers
for kisses by cash
389
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,259
or by making them listening
to your stupid problems,
390
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,719
that's your hard work.
391
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,514
Bitches, this is your company now.
392
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:06,807
So get out there
393
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:09,476
and make yourself
some motherfucking money!
394
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,368
Happy anniversary, baby!
395
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,620
- Do you like them?
- I love them, darling.
396
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:31,079
I wanted to get you something
extra special.
397
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:32,374
Hold on.
398
00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:34,418
I got something
for you too, my love.
399
00:21:34,709 --> 00:21:36,461
I just put it over here by the...
400
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:37,796
Freeze!
401
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,007
You're busted, buddy.
I'm cop!