1 00:00:00,417 --> 00:00:03,085 Season 13 Episode 7 "Fatbeard" 2 00:00:31,716 --> 00:00:34,694 You guys! You guys! We can finally do it! 3 00:00:34,944 --> 00:00:38,481 We can finally leave this crappy town and live the life we've all dreamed of! 4 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,831 - We can? - What are you talking about, dude? 5 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,126 Haven't you assholes been watching the news? 6 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,093 Pirating is back, my friends. 7 00:00:45,218 --> 00:00:47,215 Swashbuckling adventure on the high seas. 8 00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:50,716 The stuff we've all dreamed about! And it's all happening right here. 9 00:00:51,638 --> 00:00:52,638 Somalia! 10 00:00:53,038 --> 00:00:55,337 - Somalia? Where's that? - North Africa. 11 00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:59,068 Just picture it, guys! Clear blue water with skull islands! 12 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,408 Waterfalls and jeweled treasure underneath! 13 00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:04,855 I've worked it all out on Expedia. We can take 14 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,881 Southwest Airlines to Miami, then Dubai Air here to Cairo. 15 00:01:08,006 --> 00:01:10,986 Then it's just a 49-hour bus ride into Mogadishu, 16 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,781 with all the booty and plunder a pirate could want. 17 00:01:14,872 --> 00:01:17,154 You know, Cartman, that is an awesome idea. 18 00:01:17,279 --> 00:01:19,823 - You should totally go to Somalia. - Right! And we... 19 00:01:20,742 --> 00:01:23,457 Wait a minute. You never think my ideas are good, Kyle. 20 00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:25,582 No, I'm being totally serious. 21 00:01:25,707 --> 00:01:29,118 That is the best idea you've ever had. You should run away to Mogadishu. 22 00:01:29,243 --> 00:01:31,966 You should go there right away. I'll even help pay for your ticket! 23 00:01:32,736 --> 00:01:34,238 Cool! Wait a minute. 24 00:01:34,363 --> 00:01:36,514 The fuck! Why would you do that? 25 00:01:37,028 --> 00:01:39,598 Unless, you're trying to trick me somehow. 26 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,394 No, you're right. Somalia is an oasis of treasure and waterfalls! 27 00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:46,313 - It's totally the pirate's life! - Then why don't you wanna go? 28 00:01:47,228 --> 00:01:49,514 'cause, dude, I'm Jewish, and you know... 29 00:01:49,639 --> 00:01:51,244 Jews can't be pirates. 30 00:01:51,369 --> 00:01:52,469 That's true. 31 00:01:52,832 --> 00:01:55,866 Well, I'm glad you've finally come to terms with your disability, Kyle. 32 00:01:56,231 --> 00:01:58,142 Gentlemen, I'm off to start planning. 33 00:02:00,868 --> 00:02:01,912 Please. 34 00:02:02,037 --> 00:02:03,539 Please let him go. 35 00:02:04,734 --> 00:02:07,755 Good morning, students. These are the morning announcements. 36 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,379 Teacher-parent conferences were rescheduled to next Tuesday. 37 00:02:10,635 --> 00:02:12,107 Please inform your parents. 38 00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,967 The gym is being repainted and is closed until tomorrow afternoon. 39 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:17,352 And now for a special announcement. 40 00:02:17,856 --> 00:02:19,520 Avast there, mateys! 41 00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:22,937 Do you have a thirst for adventure on the high seas of life? 42 00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:27,108 Sick and tired of parents and teachers telling ye what to do all the time? 43 00:02:27,233 --> 00:02:30,281 Then join Captain Cartman's perfect pirate club! 44 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,170 Just imagine it, me hearties! 45 00:02:32,295 --> 00:02:34,993 A life without rules, without homework and chores! 46 00:02:35,118 --> 00:02:37,551 You can live the pirate's life in Somalia, me friends. 47 00:02:37,676 --> 00:02:40,826 Even Kyle said so. Our first official pirate meetin' 48 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,746 will be 4:00 PM today, at Kevin Stoley's house. 49 00:02:44,110 --> 00:02:47,262 - At my house? Why my house? - There will be refreshments served. 50 00:02:47,387 --> 00:02:49,627 So make sure your mom goes to the grocery store! 51 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:50,752 So come all. 52 00:02:51,018 --> 00:02:53,850 The invitation is open to any student who wants to be a pirate, 53 00:02:53,975 --> 00:02:56,645 and who isn't Jewish, Mexican or ginger. 54 00:02:57,874 --> 00:03:00,628 And for lunch today, the cafeteria will be serving 55 00:03:00,753 --> 00:03:03,453 taco salad or hoagie sandwiches. Thank you. 56 00:03:04,822 --> 00:03:06,738 Ahoy, fellow club members! 57 00:03:06,863 --> 00:03:09,651 Congratulations on leaving your meaningless lives behind 58 00:03:09,776 --> 00:03:11,176 to become pirates. 59 00:03:12,886 --> 00:03:15,082 Your life of boredom is at an end, 60 00:03:15,207 --> 00:03:18,197 thanks to Captain Cartman. All hands on deck! 61 00:03:21,551 --> 00:03:22,451 Attention! 62 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:25,950 All right, ye booty lubbers! 63 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:28,754 So you decided to join Captain Cartman, did ye... 64 00:03:32,396 --> 00:03:35,033 Guys. Who let in the g-i-n-g-e-r? 65 00:03:37,027 --> 00:03:39,968 There's really not that many of us. We figured we should let him join. 66 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:44,267 But, g-i-n-g-e-r-s can't be pirates, 'cause they don't have souls. 67 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:47,476 - Please get it out of here. - Fine! I don't want to be a pirate! 68 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,869 OK, anyways. 69 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:55,150 Now, enough small talk, lads! It's time for us to start rappin' and plunderin'! 70 00:03:56,072 --> 00:03:57,370 We set course tomorrow! 71 00:03:57,495 --> 00:04:00,572 I purchased everyone's tickets online using me mother's credit card. 72 00:04:01,114 --> 00:04:02,808 And your mom is OK with that? 73 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,959 Dude, I'm a pirate! What the devil do I care what me mother thinks anymore? 74 00:04:07,084 --> 00:04:07,996 Neat-o! 75 00:04:08,345 --> 00:04:12,168 All right, lads. Go home and write your farewell letters to your families. 76 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,960 The land of pirates awaits! 77 00:04:14,446 --> 00:04:16,766 - Pirates ho! - Pirates ho! 78 00:04:21,665 --> 00:04:23,085 Kevin, goddammit. 79 00:04:29,498 --> 00:04:31,698 Have a good flight. Next, please? 80 00:04:33,587 --> 00:04:37,033 We be heading to Somalia, by way of Miami to Cairo. 81 00:04:37,283 --> 00:04:40,237 And take care you put us in an exit row, you landlubber. 82 00:04:41,228 --> 00:04:43,083 I see, you five boys 83 00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:45,867 are all booked through to Cairo by yourselves? 84 00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:49,329 That we be, lass. It's all paid for on me mother's credit card. 85 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,270 Jeez. I don't know if I can really go through with this. 86 00:04:53,395 --> 00:04:55,936 - What? - It's just leaving everything behind. 87 00:04:56,061 --> 00:04:58,205 I can't believe I'm actually doing it. 88 00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:01,730 - Maybe we should think about this. - You guys, the fuck! 89 00:05:02,055 --> 00:05:04,200 Are you forgetting how crappy your lives are? 90 00:05:04,325 --> 00:05:05,973 All the homework, the rules? 91 00:05:06,434 --> 00:05:09,724 You really want to go back to school, where people just make fun of you? 92 00:05:10,252 --> 00:05:11,564 Who? You mean you? 93 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:15,105 - Do you really wanna go back to that? - No, I'm sick of it! 94 00:05:15,611 --> 00:05:18,359 Well, all right then, fag! We can't turn back now. 95 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,023 The path to adventure lies just beyond this ticket counter, 96 00:05:21,148 --> 00:05:24,373 and if you four have really come all this way just to turn back now, 97 00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:27,617 then seriously, you guys... The fuck? 98 00:05:29,119 --> 00:05:31,387 He's right, lads. To adventure! 99 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,093 This is Somalia? 100 00:06:17,904 --> 00:06:20,904 Where's all the waterfalls and shipwreck lagoons? 101 00:06:22,141 --> 00:06:23,223 The fuck! 102 00:06:23,744 --> 00:06:25,341 Excuse me. Where are the pirates? 103 00:06:27,898 --> 00:06:29,512 We're looking for the pirates. 104 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,614 Where can we find the... 105 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,767 Get the phrase book out. 106 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,487 Ask these people where the pirates are. 107 00:06:47,845 --> 00:06:49,157 He says they're in there! 108 00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:52,848 Nice! Come on, mateys! 109 00:06:57,478 --> 00:06:59,918 Yes, bla, bla, bla. Thank you. 110 00:07:06,929 --> 00:07:07,929 Avast! 111 00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:15,308 These aren't pirates. They're just a bunch of black people. 112 00:07:22,370 --> 00:07:25,620 I'm Captain Cartman and this here be my terrible crew. 113 00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:28,002 We be looking for a ship to pirate with. 114 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:44,521 Yes, very nice. Apparently these are the pirates. 115 00:07:51,496 --> 00:07:53,520 Excellent! They're taking us to a ship! 116 00:07:53,645 --> 00:07:56,974 Once we commandeer a vessel, the plundering will be easy indeed. 117 00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:02,960 This is your pirate boat? 118 00:08:03,557 --> 00:08:05,333 Dude. The fuck? 119 00:08:06,215 --> 00:08:08,613 Seriously, guys, what kind of pirates are you? 120 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,338 I mean, really. The fuck, dude. The fuck? 121 00:08:14,824 --> 00:08:17,036 Guess we'll have to settle with this meager ship. 122 00:08:17,402 --> 00:08:19,583 Two of you sit aft and two of you sit in the front. 123 00:08:19,907 --> 00:08:22,263 I gotta sit middle, 'cause I get motion sickness. 124 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,377 Kevin, Jesus Christ. 125 00:08:29,728 --> 00:08:31,080 Hard to starboard, lads! 126 00:08:31,205 --> 00:08:33,159 There's sure to be lots of booties out here! 127 00:08:42,586 --> 00:08:43,604 Clyde, the fuck? 128 00:08:44,769 --> 00:08:46,972 You said there was gonna be crystal clear lagoons 129 00:08:47,097 --> 00:08:48,847 and treasure and plunder! 130 00:08:50,152 --> 00:08:52,071 Calm down. Everything's gonna be okay! 131 00:08:52,622 --> 00:08:55,396 No, it's not. You made me run away and be a pirate 132 00:08:55,521 --> 00:08:57,660 and there's not even any treasure! 133 00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,620 Ike, do something about Clyde, please! 134 00:09:02,997 --> 00:09:03,997 Very nice, Ike. 135 00:09:04,549 --> 00:09:05,920 All right, me hearties! 136 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,246 Keep your eyes open for boats to plunder! 137 00:09:51,607 --> 00:09:54,966 Dude! You're doing it all wrong. Let me handle this. 138 00:09:55,389 --> 00:09:57,081 All right, ye scallywags! 139 00:09:57,206 --> 00:10:00,821 Surrender your plunder lest we start firing shots across your bow! 140 00:10:04,780 --> 00:10:06,528 Yeah, that's good, but now go "argh!" 141 00:10:12,977 --> 00:10:15,571 You checked with Kenny and Token? He's not staying at their houses? 142 00:10:15,956 --> 00:10:18,741 No, everyone's checked. I think Cartman really ran away to Somalia. 143 00:10:19,525 --> 00:10:21,973 Yes! I can't help but take some credit for this. 144 00:10:22,098 --> 00:10:24,622 - I helped convince him to go! - You think he'll die in Somalia? 145 00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:28,688 For sure. It's the most godforsaken place on the planet! 146 00:10:28,813 --> 00:10:30,923 Things are finally gonna be normal around here! 147 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,167 Oh, God! 148 00:10:32,292 --> 00:10:34,556 Oh, God! What did we do wrong, Gerald? 149 00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:36,307 Take it easy. We'll find him! 150 00:10:36,432 --> 00:10:39,148 - I'll call you back. - Kyle! He's gone! 151 00:10:39,273 --> 00:10:41,501 Your little brother's run away from home! 152 00:10:41,626 --> 00:10:42,894 What? Are you sure? 153 00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:45,601 He left a note saying he's never coming back! 154 00:10:46,518 --> 00:10:49,274 "Dear mommy and daddy. I am running away. 155 00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:50,660 I am sorry, 156 00:10:51,063 --> 00:10:53,821 but I cannot longer handle the monotony of middle class life. 157 00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:55,706 Everyone at school is a fucking idiot, 158 00:10:55,831 --> 00:10:58,625 and if one more person talked to me about that Susan Boyle performance 159 00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,811 of Les Misérables I was going to puke my balls out through my mouth. 160 00:11:02,127 --> 00:11:05,891 I love you all, but I have to move on. I'm going to Somalia to be a... 161 00:11:06,218 --> 00:11:07,831 to be a pirate." Oh, shit! 162 00:11:08,272 --> 00:11:10,164 Gerald, what are we gonna do? 163 00:11:10,289 --> 00:11:13,573 He couldn't have gone far. Let's call the other kids' houses. 164 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,874 God, what have I done? 165 00:11:26,046 --> 00:11:28,686 The fuck are you pirates doing? Are we gonna plunder them or not? 166 00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:47,413 Let's go. 167 00:11:58,744 --> 00:12:02,704 Quiet, ye sons of biscuit eaters! This boat is now pirate property! 168 00:12:02,829 --> 00:12:05,347 Now get ye to yer lifeboat, lest ye wanna be shark bait! 169 00:12:07,336 --> 00:12:09,889 Plunder the booty, lads! This ship is ours! 170 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,188 I said get off my boat. 171 00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:30,914 That's it! Get in there ye swarmy dogs! 172 00:12:31,579 --> 00:12:32,875 Lower 'em down, Ike! 173 00:12:36,611 --> 00:12:37,754 Have a good day! 174 00:12:47,404 --> 00:12:50,309 - Hard to port, lads. - Hard to port! 175 00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:52,144 What's port? 176 00:12:52,895 --> 00:12:54,917 Just make the boat go that way, kind of. 177 00:13:07,615 --> 00:13:09,578 That's good! Now bring her around portside! 178 00:13:16,941 --> 00:13:18,394 Now, that's a pirate ship. 179 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,637 A fine day of plunderin' we had, boys. What about yourselves? 180 00:13:28,173 --> 00:13:31,123 Here ye are, lads. Plenty of booty to go around. 181 00:13:32,467 --> 00:13:34,278 A round of grog for me boys. 182 00:13:34,403 --> 00:13:36,169 A round of grog for everyone! 183 00:13:39,577 --> 00:13:42,527 The fuck is this? This is water in a Dixie Cup! 184 00:13:43,418 --> 00:13:45,229 All right, goddammit. Really, you guys. 185 00:13:45,354 --> 00:13:47,603 What kind of pirates are you? Look at yourselves! 186 00:13:47,728 --> 00:13:49,159 You're a disgrace to Blackbeard! 187 00:13:49,658 --> 00:13:52,128 I don't know where you people get off calling yourselves pirates... 188 00:13:52,253 --> 00:13:54,414 Little beat-up boats, water in Dixie Cups. 189 00:13:54,582 --> 00:13:57,845 I mean, look! Look at this guy! Look at this guy, for Christ's sake! 190 00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:03,603 I mean, how hard is this, people? 191 00:14:05,055 --> 00:14:07,502 I tell ye, lads, if we're gonna be the most feared people on earth, 192 00:14:07,627 --> 00:14:09,805 then there needs to be some goddamn changes around here! 193 00:14:10,358 --> 00:14:13,429 We drink and we pillage and we do what we please 194 00:14:13,554 --> 00:14:15,675 We get all we want for free 195 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,114 We'll kick your ass then rape your lass 196 00:14:18,239 --> 00:14:19,809 Somalian pirates we 197 00:14:20,074 --> 00:14:21,608 So with a yo ho ho 198 00:14:24,665 --> 00:14:26,065 Goddammit, people. 199 00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:28,169 With a yo ho ho! 200 00:14:30,466 --> 00:14:31,743 And with a yee hee hee! 201 00:14:33,854 --> 00:14:35,942 We take to the African sea 202 00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,650 We'll brave the squalls and bust your balls 203 00:14:38,775 --> 00:14:40,252 Somalian pirates we 204 00:14:40,753 --> 00:14:43,682 Somalian pirates we 205 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,758 We left our homes and we left our mothers 206 00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:48,677 to go on a pillaging spree 207 00:14:49,034 --> 00:14:51,394 We'll cut off your ears and break your toes 208 00:14:51,519 --> 00:14:53,556 and make you drink our pee 209 00:14:53,724 --> 00:14:55,841 And if you sail into our waters, 210 00:14:55,966 --> 00:14:57,927 you best hear this decree 211 00:14:58,052 --> 00:15:00,298 We'll take your boat and set your ass afloat 212 00:15:00,423 --> 00:15:02,456 - Somalian pirates we - Nice! 213 00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:03,873 With a yo ho ho 214 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,141 And a trick a lotty do 215 00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:09,072 We'll shoot you in the face with glee 216 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,080 - We'll cut off... - Let's stop for a minute. 217 00:15:11,205 --> 00:15:13,570 Remember on "trick a lotty do", that's an lotty do. 218 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,620 Really need you guys to enunciate the lotty. 219 00:15:15,971 --> 00:15:16,871 Nadif? 220 00:15:17,522 --> 00:15:21,292 If I can get you and Abdikarim to sing the harmony on the second "yo ho". 221 00:15:21,803 --> 00:15:22,836 And... Hashmish? 222 00:15:23,450 --> 00:15:26,575 I'm sorry, but you're a little flat. Sing out, don't close your throat. 223 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:30,218 So let's go from bar 14. Pick up after the quarter rest. Ike? 224 00:15:32,252 --> 00:15:34,180 - Somalian pirates we - Better! 225 00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:35,795 With a yo ho ho 226 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,997 And a trick a lotty do 227 00:15:38,910 --> 00:15:40,924 We'll shoot you in the face with glee 228 00:15:41,049 --> 00:15:43,231 Then we'll cut off your cock and feed it to a crock 229 00:15:43,399 --> 00:15:45,625 Somalian pirates we! 230 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:48,982 Somalian pirates... 231 00:15:49,107 --> 00:15:50,207 we! 232 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:54,826 Somalian pirates we 233 00:15:57,293 --> 00:15:59,205 We found them adrift in a lifeboat, sir. 234 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:01,416 They said that pirates took their ship by force. 235 00:16:02,284 --> 00:16:03,334 Damn pirates! 236 00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:06,740 What's causing them to suddenly be so much more active? 237 00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:07,922 Is the crew okay? 238 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,952 Yes, sir. They're French, so they surrendered immediately. 239 00:16:11,077 --> 00:16:13,428 Once they boarded your ship, how did they force you off? 240 00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:25,938 Sir, the pirates appear to have forced 241 00:16:26,063 --> 00:16:28,234 the French crew off their boat with a lightsaber. 242 00:16:28,942 --> 00:16:32,483 My God. The pirates are getting better equipped every day! 243 00:16:32,608 --> 00:16:35,341 Gentlemen, I want the President of the United States on the phone. 244 00:16:35,466 --> 00:16:37,963 We can no longer fight the pirates on the seas. 245 00:16:38,088 --> 00:16:40,147 We have to take them out where they live. 246 00:16:45,525 --> 00:16:48,178 What did I tell you, Butters? This is the good life, huh? 247 00:16:52,593 --> 00:16:53,613 What's going on? 248 00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:01,184 Good. A hostage will bring a fine ransom! 249 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,851 Well, well, well! 250 00:17:11,092 --> 00:17:13,529 This is CNN... N. 251 00:17:14,277 --> 00:17:17,642 Breaking news of yet another pirate crisis in Somalia. 252 00:17:18,096 --> 00:17:21,655 Members of NATO receive word today that pirates have captured 253 00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:23,105 an American child, 254 00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:26,719 and are demanding 10 million euros for his safe release. 255 00:17:27,026 --> 00:17:30,074 U.S. Navy ships have been deployed and the pirate standoff 256 00:17:30,199 --> 00:17:31,380 is about to get ugly. 257 00:17:32,410 --> 00:17:36,372 Well, well, well... Kyle. 258 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,591 You came all this way to try and join my pirate club. 259 00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:42,871 No, fatass, I came to get my brother! We all have to get out of here! 260 00:17:42,996 --> 00:17:44,727 - It isn't safe! - It isn't safe? 261 00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:47,642 That's not what you said back in the cafeteria, Kyle. 262 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,816 In the cafeteria, you said Somalia was awesome. 263 00:17:50,671 --> 00:17:51,818 I know. I was lying. 264 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:55,696 Or are you lying now? So many lies, you can't even keep them straight! 265 00:17:56,230 --> 00:17:59,534 You couldn't stand that we were living in paradise while you were back home. 266 00:18:00,006 --> 00:18:03,523 This isn't paradise, and you know it. The people here are starving and dying! 267 00:18:03,648 --> 00:18:06,558 The whole world has used Somalia as a dumping ground for toxic waste. 268 00:18:06,683 --> 00:18:08,042 Even the fish are radioactive. 269 00:18:12,993 --> 00:18:15,920 Cartman, just give me my brother and let us get out of here. 270 00:18:16,651 --> 00:18:19,513 Your brother is with Butters taking inventory of our latest plunder. 271 00:18:19,638 --> 00:18:23,138 You... just sit tight till we hear about your ransom money. 272 00:18:24,307 --> 00:18:26,257 One box of Italian passports! 273 00:18:26,954 --> 00:18:28,404 One necklace, gold! 274 00:18:29,114 --> 00:18:30,579 Three crew member watches. 275 00:18:31,061 --> 00:18:33,561 Excuse me. Can I ask you a question? 276 00:18:35,368 --> 00:18:36,570 Sure, Guleed. 277 00:18:37,108 --> 00:18:38,864 Why did you Americans come here? 278 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,150 'cause our lives sucked back home! 279 00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:44,550 - We had all these rules and homework. - Yeah, homework! 280 00:18:44,675 --> 00:18:46,326 And our parents hollered at us. 281 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,084 - So we wanted to be pirates. - Pirates! 282 00:18:50,494 --> 00:18:52,322 But that's what I do not understand. 283 00:18:52,447 --> 00:18:55,102 Why would anyone want to be a pirate? 284 00:18:57,233 --> 00:19:00,583 Every day, I dream that I can go to school, 285 00:19:00,904 --> 00:19:02,300 learn about the world. 286 00:19:02,425 --> 00:19:05,273 But my mother, she's dying of AIDS, 287 00:19:05,398 --> 00:19:07,321 and there is no money for medicine. 288 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,581 My father was killed trying to find food for us. 289 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,243 Do you know how I feel every time we try to capture a boat? 290 00:19:15,596 --> 00:19:16,596 Scared. 291 00:19:16,876 --> 00:19:19,728 And not just scared, because I might get killed, 292 00:19:19,853 --> 00:19:23,120 but scared because if I don't get something out of it, 293 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,745 my family and friends are going to die. 294 00:19:26,201 --> 00:19:29,964 I don't want to be a pirate. I have don't see how anybody would. 295 00:19:35,830 --> 00:19:37,038 Oh, my God. 296 00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:41,425 Jeez, guess we kinda got put in our place, huh, Ike? 297 00:19:42,016 --> 00:19:44,385 I feel like an asshole. 298 00:19:45,677 --> 00:19:46,677 Me too. 299 00:19:49,999 --> 00:19:53,564 - Go on! Walk the plank, ye scurvy dog! - Cartman, knock it off! 300 00:19:54,014 --> 00:19:56,192 That's Captain Cartman, ye jewswoggle. 301 00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:07,078 Listen, we wanna go home. 302 00:20:07,562 --> 00:20:10,159 - What? - Me and Ike, we've been talking, and... 303 00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:13,375 Well, guys, we really had it pretty good back in America. 304 00:20:13,783 --> 00:20:15,257 I mean, sure, 305 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,268 it's easy to think our lives are boring and full of rules, 306 00:20:18,393 --> 00:20:20,341 but a lot of people have it way worse. 307 00:20:20,734 --> 00:20:23,541 The pirates' life isn't a life of fun and adventure. 308 00:20:23,666 --> 00:20:25,615 It's a life of hardship and suffering. 309 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:29,582 When you get down to it, we were pretty lucky to have the lives we did. 310 00:20:34,521 --> 00:20:37,242 I hate it here. It wanna go home! 311 00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:40,790 You guys cannot leave the pirate club now! 312 00:20:40,915 --> 00:20:43,679 How can you not want to stay in this paradise we've created? 313 00:20:44,031 --> 00:20:45,781 In Somalia, people have no laws! 314 00:20:45,906 --> 00:20:47,826 They have no rules, and they never grow old! 315 00:20:48,267 --> 00:20:50,746 They never grow old because they die before they're 30! 316 00:20:51,164 --> 00:20:54,892 Nobody's going anywhere. I'm the captain of this outfit! 317 00:20:56,143 --> 00:20:57,143 To arms! 318 00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:03,499 Now, is there any question who's in charge? 319 00:21:03,758 --> 00:21:06,845 I have an entire pirate crew willing to do anything for me. 320 00:21:11,501 --> 00:21:14,651 All right, men. Remember, do not hit the white ones! 321 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:19,069 Me and my crew are gonna go on pirating forever! 322 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:29,660 Clear. 323 00:21:33,753 --> 00:21:35,136 The fuck? 324 00:21:36,418 --> 00:21:39,998 SouthParkNews.net Sub-way.fr