1
00:00:42,186 --> 00:00:43,404
Wow, dude.

2
00:00:43,405 --> 00:00:45,729
Man, Indians have it good, huh?

3
00:00:45,819 --> 00:00:49,961
Now, Eric, they're called Native Americans, remember? Show some respect.

4
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:54,660
Welcome to the Three Feathers Casino. I'm your host, Chief Runs With Premise.

5
00:00:54,661 --> 00:00:56,779
Please try your luck at one of our many games.

6
00:00:57,396 --> 00:00:58,565
All right, let's go!

7
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,750
Halt.  I am afraid minors cannot go onto the casino floor.

8
00:01:01,785 --> 00:01:03,982
I'm not a miner, dumbass! Do you see a shovel in my hand?!

9
00:01:04,017 --> 00:01:06,873
You kids can enjoy our Native American Comedy Club.

10
00:01:06,908 --> 00:01:10,731
All right, we're gonna hit the tables. Why don't you kids run along to the comedy club?

11
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,629
All right, time to win some money!

12
00:01:14,664 --> 00:01:16,547
Oh yeah! blackjack table!

13
00:01:16,582 --> 00:01:21,051
Welcome to the blackjack table. May luck run through you, like the spirit of the buffalo.

14
00:01:21,086 --> 00:01:22,961
Gerald, this is ten dollars a hand!

15
00:01:22,996 --> 00:01:25,621
Relax, sweetie  I know how to count cards.

16
00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:27,647
Well I don't wanna play here!

17
00:01:27,682 --> 00:01:29,482
Yeah. Come on, Sheila, let's go to the nickle slots.

18
00:01:29,517 --> 00:01:33,174
Oooo, the nickle slots! You might win the thirty-dollar jackpot!

19
00:01:34,638 --> 00:01:36,806
Ahh, women, huh? God I hate 'em.

20
00:01:37,077 --> 00:01:39,322
All right, time to show these people how to gamble!

21
00:01:40,453 --> 00:01:45,484
Welcome to the Three Feathers Comedy Club. Please put your hands together for Johnny Manymoons!

22
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,418
What is Native American comedy, anyway?

23
00:01:50,426 --> 00:01:52,045
"Thank you, thank you.

24
00:01:52,736 --> 00:01:54,356
Bear walked into a bar.

25
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,064
Bear said to Deer,

26
00:01:57,514 --> 00:01:58,856
"May I please...

27
00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:01,696
have a drink?""

28
00:02:02,624 --> 00:02:04,401
And so Deer said to Bear,

29
00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,907
"Why the big paws?"

30
00:02:13,076 --> 00:02:16,739
Many moons ago, Pony and Eagle walked up to Coyote.

31
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:22,667
Pony said to Coyote, "I am very mad at Eagle. Will you yell at him for me?"

32
00:02:22,668 --> 00:02:27,489
Coyote said to Pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?"

33
00:02:27,490 --> 00:02:31,374
And Pony replied, "Because I am a little horse."

34
00:02:38,189 --> 00:02:39,566
How's it goin', Gerald?

35
00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:41,159
Ohh, not so good.

36
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,487
Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm down three hundred bucks.

37
00:02:43,522 --> 00:02:45,298
Yeah. I'm down twenty-six thousand.

38
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:48,154
Yeah, well, maybe we should- ...wait. Twenty-six thousand dollars??

39
00:02:48,189 --> 00:02:50,562
I forgot to tell you, ah I have a gambling problem.

40
00:02:50,597 --> 00:02:52,102
Gerald, twenty-six thousand-!

41
00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:54,138
Sshhhh! I have to win it back before Sheila finds out!

42
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:55,654
Where did you get that kind of money??

43
00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:59,970
The casino gave me credit! I put the house up as collateral! But I still have this ten-dollar chip.

44
00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:02,084
Dealer, twenty one.  Sorry.

45
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,139
That's it. I'm destitute.

46
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,236
Loan me money! You've gotta have money in the cup! Wha- what's in the cup?

47
00:03:08,327 --> 00:03:09,322
Just six quarters!

48
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:11,016
Oh God. Oh Jesus.

49
00:03:11,051 --> 00:03:15,536
Thank you for playing at Three Feathers. May your life be filled with the song of the sparrow.

50
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,621
Oh, shove the song of the sparrow up your ass!

51
00:03:20,260 --> 00:03:22,097
How am I going to tell my family?

52
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:26,214
How do I tell them that tomorrow, we have to ...pack up our things and ...get out of the house?

53
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,821
There's daddy!

54
00:03:27,856 --> 00:03:29,052
Oh, Jesus.

55
00:03:29,854 --> 00:03:31,742
Where have you guys been? We've been looking all over.

56
00:03:31,777 --> 00:03:33,901
Yeah. Come on, Dad, this place sucks. I wanna go.

57
00:03:33,936 --> 00:03:35,853
What, What did you say?

58
00:03:35,888 --> 00:03:37,162
I said I wanna leave.

59
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,397
Oh, you wanna leave, huh?!

60
00:03:39,398 --> 00:03:44,764
Okay, fine, Kyle, when we get home, we'll just pack up our things, load them in the car, and we'll leave!

61
00:03:45,695 --> 00:03:46,844
What?? No, no, I mean, I-

62
00:03:46,879 --> 00:03:50,444
No, no, no, if you wanna leave South Park, fine! Tomorrow we're leaving!

63
00:03:50,479 --> 00:03:51,926
Gerald, what are you talking about?

64
00:03:51,961 --> 00:03:54,706
Oh, you heard him, Sheila! Kyle wants to leave!

65
00:03:54,707 --> 00:03:58,021
Our nice old house doesn't interest Kyle anymore!

66
00:03:58,022 --> 00:04:00,323
Well I'm callig the moving company right now!

67
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,648
Well, you shouldn't be such a dick, dude.

68
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,085
What's wrong with Gerald?

69
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,161
He... he lost his house to the Native Americans.

70
00:04:09,196 --> 00:04:12,394
What?? But don't the Native Americans know he has nowhere else to go?

71
00:04:12,429 --> 00:04:13,446
They don't care.

72
00:04:17,588 --> 00:04:21,517
Look at them! Small-minded idiots pouring their life-savings away!

73
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:25,042
Their cash flows out of them like diarrhea from the buffalo.

74
00:04:25,077 --> 00:04:28,302
Yes, but we have milked this simple mountain folk almost dry.

75
00:04:28,303 --> 00:04:33,289
If we really want to see cash flow, we need to bring in city people from Denver.

76
00:04:33,324 --> 00:04:37,496
Yeessss. It is time for us to implement our plan.

77
00:04:37,497 --> 00:04:41,518
A superhighway, built from Denver right to our casino!

78
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:46,368
And what do we do about the small town of South Park that lies in the highway's way?

79
00:04:46,403 --> 00:04:51,134
Simple. We buy it, and we demolish it! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

80
00:04:57,231 --> 00:05:01,045
And that's really all I can tell you. The town of South Park is going to be leveled,

81
00:05:01,046 --> 00:05:04,021
in order to make way for a twelve-lane superhighway.

82
00:05:04,043 --> 00:05:05,694
But how can they do that?!

83
00:05:05,729 --> 00:05:08,512
The Native Americans have purchased the land from under us.

84
00:05:08,513 --> 00:05:11,853
Tomorrow, they're buying the last of what they need to have complete ownership.

85
00:05:11,888 --> 00:05:14,012
Well can't we stop them? Let's call the bank.

86
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,762
The Native Americans bought the bank.

87
00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,327
Oh my God.

88
00:05:17,362 --> 00:05:21,746
Now, look, it isn't all horrible. The Native Americans are offering you retail values on your homes.

89
00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:26,601
No, screw that! We'll just pool our money together and buy the town ourselves!

90
00:05:27,938 --> 00:05:30,751
Yeah! Let the South Park people own South Park!

91
00:05:31,814 --> 00:05:33,185
How much do we have to raise, Mayor?

92
00:05:33,220 --> 00:05:35,016
Three hundred thousand dollars.

93
00:05:39,624 --> 00:05:41,253
Ohhh, never mind.

94
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,545
How can they do that, huh? How can they make us all move away?

95
00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:47,592
Because they're rich, greedy-ass Indians!

96
00:05:47,627 --> 00:05:48,603
Native Americans.

97
00:05:48,638 --> 00:05:51,146
Our whole town, gone.

98
00:05:51,147 --> 00:05:53,375
We'd had such great times here.

99
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:10,758
We can't let them do it, you guys! We have to find a way to stop those Native Americans!

100
00:06:10,793 --> 00:06:11,735
Yeah!

101
00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:12,903
Yeah, this is our town!

102
00:06:12,938 --> 00:06:15,644
We shouldn't have to make a bunch of new friends somewhere else. We're a team!

103
00:06:15,883 --> 00:06:17,502
-That's right!
-Yeah, ahh, that's right!

104
00:06:17,593 --> 00:06:18,435
Yeah, we're a team!

105
00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:20,855
We just gotta figure out a way to raise three hundred thousand dollars!

106
00:06:22,189 --> 00:06:23,887
Wait a minute! I've got it, you guys!

107
00:06:23,888 --> 00:06:26,507
We can get Kyle infected with AIDS!

108
00:06:26,508 --> 00:06:30,707
And then start a charity organization that we steal money from! Come on, let's go!

109
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,748
No? We can't give Kyle AIDS?

110
00:06:37,783 --> 00:06:39,670
We need somethng that'll get us money tomorrow!

111
00:06:39,705 --> 00:06:42,016
Hey, I know! How about a dog parade?

112
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:43,370
Dog parade?

113
00:06:43,405 --> 00:06:46,926
Yeah! We dress up all our dogs in little outfits, and parade them down the street.

114
00:06:46,927 --> 00:06:48,080
It'll be so adorable!

115
00:06:48,115 --> 00:06:50,074
How do we make three hundred thousand dollars doing that?

116
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:52,943
Oh... Uh well, we could sell tickets to our moms and dads.

117
00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:55,021
Our moms and dads are the ones who need money, Butters!

118
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,748
Maybe give Kyle AIDS, huh? Lookin' a little better now.

119
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,119
Oh, Gerald, I, I can't watch!

120
00:07:06,154 --> 00:07:08,198
How can you do this to people?

121
00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:15,053
We're sorry. But if we do not build a superhighway, our casino might stop seeing profits.

122
00:07:15,088 --> 00:07:17,055
There's more to life than profits!

123
00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:18,637
Well like what?

124
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,647
Well like, you know, Slurpees and stuff.

125
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:28,312
Well, come on, honey, I guess we should start packing up our things as well.

126
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:31,276
Yeah.  So long, South Park.

127
00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:35,132
Mom! Dad! We figured out a way we could raise three hundred thousand dollars!

128
00:07:35,167 --> 00:07:36,673
A dog parade?

129
00:07:36,708 --> 00:07:37,679
No!

130
00:07:37,714 --> 00:07:43,103
Stan, we've all tried to raise money, but we only raise ten thousand dollars, and the deadline is tomorrow.

131
00:07:43,138 --> 00:07:47,377
I know. So how about we take the ten thousand dollars back to the Indian casino? Tell them, Kyle!

132
00:07:47,412 --> 00:07:50,090
The odds on a single number in roulette are thirty-five to one.

133
00:07:50,091 --> 00:07:53,703
That means, with a ten thousand dollar bet, you win three hundred and fifty thousand.

134
00:07:53,704 --> 00:07:55,181
Boys, that's ridiculous.

135
00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:56,871
Look, we, we've got nothing to lose.

136
00:07:56,906 --> 00:07:58,305
What do you guys think?

137
00:07:58,340 --> 00:07:59,307
It's a long shot.

138
00:07:59,342 --> 00:08:02,902
Yeah.  But it's the only shot we've got to save our town.

139
00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:09,561
The residents of South Park had hoped to raise three hundred thousand dollars.

140
00:08:09,562 --> 00:08:11,926
But in the end managed to raise only ten.

141
00:08:11,927 --> 00:08:14,925
The loss of their town may be imminent for the poor people of South Park.

142
00:08:20,775 --> 00:08:23,352
All right, boys. You're gonna have to wait here.

143
00:08:23,797 --> 00:08:27,872
Dad.  Good luck.

144
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,933
It's in God's hand now.

145
00:08:31,605 --> 00:08:33,381
Stand aside, everyone!

146
00:08:36,237 --> 00:08:37,434
What are they doing?

147
00:08:37,469 --> 00:08:40,851
We're gonna try and beat you at your own game, Chief Runs With Premise!

148
00:08:40,851 --> 00:08:44,494
Ten thousand dollars!  On thirty one black!

149
00:08:51,268 --> 00:08:52,520
Impossible!

150
00:08:52,555 --> 00:08:55,300
Come on! Come on!

151
00:09:14,126 --> 00:09:16,376
Thirty one. Black.

152
00:09:17,435 --> 00:09:22,804
Yeah! All right! Woohoo! Oh we did it! We did it! Oh my God! Oh this is amazing!

153
00:09:22,839 --> 00:09:24,125
No... NOOO!

154
00:09:25,253 --> 00:09:26,845
South Park is saved.

155
00:09:28,273 --> 00:09:30,602
We have plenty enough to save our town now!

156
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:34,220
Yeah! But wait.  Three hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

157
00:09:34,221 --> 00:09:37,776
That means if we won again, it will be twelve and a quarter million!

158
00:09:38,883 --> 00:09:40,928
We can save the town and be super-rich!

159
00:09:40,963 --> 00:09:42,804
Oh hell yeah! Let it ride!

160
00:09:42,839 --> 00:09:43,769
Let it ride!!

161
00:09:43,804 --> 00:09:45,007
Woohoo! Yeah!

162
00:09:45,864 --> 00:09:46,798
What the hell are they doing??

163
00:09:46,833 --> 00:09:49,342
Let's go thirty one! Let's see it!

164
00:09:51,732 --> 00:09:53,695
Two, red. You lose.

165
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,243
Damnit!

166
00:09:57,278 --> 00:09:58,323
Hmmm!

167
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,951
Theh, they had it! They freakin' had it!

168
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:10,143
You totally had it! You had enough to save the town and then some.

169
00:10:10,178 --> 00:10:14,065
Stan? Okay? You just don't understand the fine points of gambling.

170
00:10:14,066 --> 00:10:16,324
You're never supposed to stop when you're on a winning streak.

171
00:10:16,874 --> 00:10:18,586
A winning streak??!! You played one game!!!!

172
00:10:18,621 --> 00:10:19,803
Stan? Okay?

173
00:10:19,838 --> 00:10:20,755
What???

174
00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:22,724
All right? Stan? Okay?

175
00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,735
You people just got greedy, like the Native Americans!

176
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,422
Hey, mister!! We're not like them, all right?!

177
00:10:28,423 --> 00:10:33,093
Now, we may have pie in the sky dreams once in a while, but we aren't the ones kicking people out of their homes!

178
00:10:33,094 --> 00:10:37,839
So don't you compare us to those cold-hearted, money-grubbing, evil stinky Indians!

179
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:38,840
I'm sorry, Native Americans.

180
00:10:46,209 --> 00:10:50,598
There you are, sir. There's the check for your home. Just sign here, and here.

181
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:53,807
Well, this is it, Mr. Slave. We're officially homeless.

182
00:10:53,842 --> 00:10:58,467
Jezuth! Jezuth Chrith!

183
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,049
Dad, what are you doing?! Don't take their dirty money!

184
00:11:01,084 --> 00:11:04,575
Stanley, we don't have a choice. The Native Americans own South Park now.

185
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:07,035
We have to take what they'll give us for our homes.

186
00:11:07,093 --> 00:11:09,072
There you go. Have a nice day.

187
00:11:10,451 --> 00:11:12,177
Come on, you guys! This is our town!

188
00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:15,261
It's over, Stanley. What else can we do?

189
00:11:15,296 --> 00:11:17,425
We can stay. And fight.

190
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:20,782
Yeah! When the Indians come to tear up our town, we kick 'em in the nuts!

191
00:11:20,817 --> 00:11:21,639
(Yeah!)

192
00:11:21,674 --> 00:11:23,798
Yeah! They don't own our town! We do!

193
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:27,152
I'm sorry, boys. You just don't understand economics.

194
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,668
It'll be okay, boys, we'll just... move to the next town over.

195
00:11:30,703 --> 00:11:34,284
Oh sure. Until the Native Americans decide they want that land, too!

196
00:11:34,285 --> 00:11:38,682
What if the Native Americans just keep building their casinos and their highways uh, until we have nowhere else to go??

197
00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:40,865
We have to stand up to them now!

198
00:11:42,488 --> 00:11:44,784
Rrrgh! Forget it! Come on, you guys!

199
00:11:44,819 --> 00:11:46,696
You're all a bunch of God-damned pussies!

200
00:12:01,247 --> 00:12:02,790
Get out of our way!

201
00:12:02,825 --> 00:12:04,634
No! We won't let you destroy our town!

202
00:12:04,669 --> 00:12:07,074
Boys. It isn't your town anymore.

203
00:12:07,109 --> 00:12:09,723
Just because you have a piece of paper saying you own it doesn't make it yours.

204
00:12:09,724 --> 00:12:11,870
We grew up here. Our parents grew up here.

205
00:12:11,871 --> 00:12:14,240
We shop at that Wal-Mart, and eat at that Chilis.

206
00:12:14,241 --> 00:12:17,633
We take fish from the streams and bread them and freeze them to make fish sticks.

207
00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:19,817
This is not just a town, it is our way of life.

208
00:12:19,852 --> 00:12:23,980
Well your way of life is about to change, little boys. Now move!

209
00:12:24,015 --> 00:12:26,246
You can't just roll into places and take people's lives away!

210
00:12:26,281 --> 00:12:29,891
And what are four little boys going to do to stop us, huh?

211
00:12:40,228 --> 00:12:42,188
We are strong

212
00:12:44,126 --> 00:12:47,541
No one can tell us we're wrong

213
00:12:49,095 --> 00:12:53,824
Searching our hearts for so lohh-oo-ohh-oo-ong

214
00:12:53,859 --> 00:12:55,983
Both of us knowing…

215
00:12:58,886 --> 00:13:01,543
Love Is A Battlefield

216
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,673
This land is not for sale.

217
00:13:06,188 --> 00:13:09,010
Damnit! I thought you said they were dealt with!

218
00:13:09,045 --> 00:13:09,772
They were!

219
00:13:09,807 --> 00:13:14,391
Sorry, Charlies! You can just keep your filthy bastard Indian money!

220
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:16,836
Filthy bastard Native American money!

221
00:13:16,871 --> 00:13:18,385
Uh oh, right, huh. Sorry about that.

222
00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:19,582
This isn't over!

223
00:13:27,802 --> 00:13:30,287
We'll never give up! You bastards!

224
00:13:30,322 --> 00:13:32,408
Yeah! South Park is ours.

225
00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:38,260
But, what do we do now? I mean, we can't just stand here and block their way forever.

226
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:41,082
We can stand here as long as it takes.

227
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,775
What is the state of our people?

228
00:13:52,810 --> 00:13:58,569
Last nignt I spoke with the spirit of the bear, and Bear said that if we do not build our highway soon,

229
00:13:58,570 --> 00:14:01,879
our investors may soon sell off their shares of the new casino.

230
00:14:02,013 --> 00:14:08,634
Yes, and Eagle says the cumulative shared market loss on the revenue of the new casino drops fiftenn percent every day.

231
00:14:08,669 --> 00:14:12,331
Then we must force the South Park people off their petty land.

232
00:14:12,366 --> 00:14:13,734
But they are determined and proud.

233
00:14:13,735 --> 00:14:18,447
And the spirit of the wind has stated that if we use force, it could be a publicity nightmare,

234
00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:20,177
further hurting our net assets.

235
00:14:20,212 --> 00:14:24,023
I already have a plan how we can force them off our land... sneakily.

236
00:14:24,024 --> 00:14:25,707
We're going to give them...

237
00:14:26,519 --> 00:14:27,899
...blankets.

238
00:14:27,931 --> 00:14:30,018
Blankets?

239
00:14:30,053 --> 00:14:32,896
Yes. We will present the blankets as a peace offering.

240
00:14:32,897 --> 00:14:37,164
But what the round-eyes will not know is that the blankets are infected with SARS.

241
00:14:39,548 --> 00:14:44,129
They will all get SARS! And then SARS will run through their town like a buffalo.

242
00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,011
Now I need your help getting the SARS onto the blankets.

243
00:14:48,877 --> 00:14:50,082
Okay, bring them in!

244
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,260
Let's see how South Park deals with this!

245
00:14:59,161 --> 00:15:01,710
Everyone grab a Chinese person and rub them on a blanket.

246
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:07,295
Make sure you rub them all over. Get the SARS nice and deep in there.

247
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,537
Tom, I'm standing in chilly South Park, Colorado,

248
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:18,601
where the residents are entering the third day of their sit-in to try and stop Native Americans

249
00:15:18,602 --> 00:15:20,689
...from building a superhighway through their town.

250
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,503
The temperature is low, but spirits are pretty low, too.

251
00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:29,754
What do they want?

252
00:15:29,789 --> 00:15:31,780
We're not moving, assfaces!

253
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,326
Free blanket?

254
00:15:35,221 --> 00:15:39,036
Though I know we have differences, we believe a compromise can be reached.

255
00:15:39,037 --> 00:15:42,902
In the meantime, it hurts us to see you all on television sitting in the cold.

256
00:15:42,903 --> 00:15:46,021
Will you not take this offering as a gesture of goodwill?

257
00:15:47,915 --> 00:15:49,874
You had me at ""free blanket."

258
00:15:54,468 --> 00:15:57,012
Free blanket? Free blanket? Free blanket...

259
00:15:57,047 --> 00:16:03,446
Tom, it now looks as if the Native Americans are handing out blankets as a sign of goodwill towards the South Park people.

260
00:16:03,447 --> 00:16:05,721
What an incredible display of compassion.

261
00:16:05,722 --> 00:16:08,400
I certainly hope there's nothing sinister behind it.

262
00:16:09,105 --> 00:16:11,344
Please. As a token of good faith.

263
00:16:11,379 --> 00:16:14,632
You... understand if I'm a little wary of trusting you.

264
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,596
It is only a blanket, Mister Marsh.

265
00:16:17,132 --> 00:16:18,606
Well, thanks.

266
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,448
Oh. You're welcome.

267
00:16:25,205 --> 00:16:30,798
Tom, it's Tuesday morning now, and the outbreak of SARS in South Park has reached epic proportions.

268
00:16:30,799 --> 00:16:36,179
The entire town has been quarantined by the federal government, nobody allowed in our out,

269
00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:38,842
which means, nobody can come to our aid.

270
00:16:39,604 --> 00:16:43,351
It appears this town, and this reporter, are done for.

271
00:16:43,352 --> 00:16:46,473
Coming up next, choosing the right hair conditioner.

272
00:16:46,474 --> 00:16:49,900
What you don't know about hair care products could be costing you a bundle.

273
00:16:53,252 --> 00:16:54,723
It's all right, dad.

274
00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:56,246
How's your... mother?

275
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:59,058
She's hanging in there.  Here, drink some beer.

276
00:17:02,017 --> 00:17:03,611
It's cool on my tongue.

277
00:17:03,646 --> 00:17:05,201
You're gonna be all right.

278
00:17:05,236 --> 00:17:12,252
Stanley, listen to me. I have SARS. There's only a ninety-eight percent chance that I will live.

279
00:17:12,287 --> 00:17:14,138
No, Dad, NO.

280
00:17:14,173 --> 00:17:16,611
Listen, Stan. SARS is destroying our people.

281
00:17:16,612 --> 00:17:19,689
The Native Americans put it in the blankets they gave us.

282
00:17:20,364 --> 00:17:23,152
Soon there will be only ninety-eight percent of us left.

283
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,235
What can I do?

284
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:29,028
You... must find a cure for SARS, son.

285
00:17:29,029 --> 00:17:30,937
And save our people.

286
00:17:30,938 --> 00:17:32,731
Cure SARS? Aw, Jesus!

287
00:17:32,766 --> 00:17:36,468
The spirit of middle-class white people is strong in you, Stan.

288
00:17:36,469 --> 00:17:39,639
Seek out the wise man in Bellocreek.

289
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,626
Now go. GO!

290
00:17:51,544 --> 00:17:52,530
What?

291
00:17:52,565 --> 00:17:54,598
Hey, my name's Stan, and I was-

292
00:17:54,633 --> 00:17:58,072
Your coming was foretold to me. You've come to save our people.

293
00:17:58,073 --> 00:18:00,447
Come in.  Watch the cats.

294
00:18:00,675 --> 00:18:02,937
Uh so, do you know how to cure SARS?

295
00:18:02,972 --> 00:18:07,559
Me?? Huh, no. I am just a guide. Sit down.

296
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,560
You must find the answer yourself, by taking an inward journey.

297
00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:14,407
An inward journey? That sounds kind of gay.

298
00:18:14,442 --> 00:18:17,114
Let the voices of our ancestors show you the way.

299
00:18:18,379 --> 00:18:21,222
Breathe. Breathe from the bag of visions.

300
00:18:25,028 --> 00:18:27,894
Ah! Oh, dude!

301
00:18:30,245 --> 00:18:33,052
How much longer must we wait for our superhighway??

302
00:18:33,087 --> 00:18:36,562
SARS has spread through the entire town of South Park, Chief Runs with Premise.

303
00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:38,263
Their wills will break soon.

304
00:18:38,352 --> 00:18:40,160
Then I suppose we must be patient.

305
00:18:40,195 --> 00:18:42,242
Runs with Premise, come quickly!

306
00:18:42,277 --> 00:18:43,696
What is the matter, wife?

307
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,663
It is our son, Premise Running Thin. He is very sick.

308
00:18:50,145 --> 00:18:52,229
Premise Running Thin, what is the matter?

309
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:56,425
He, he shared a cup with one of the people from China. He has SARS!

310
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:59,061
No! I told you not to touch them!

311
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,225
Papa. Papa...

312
00:19:01,260 --> 00:19:05,952
I have given him herbs from the desert plant and water from the cactus of life.

313
00:19:05,953 --> 00:19:08,356
But nothing seems to be working.

314
00:19:08,443 --> 00:19:12,929
This would never have happened if those townspeople would have just moved away!

315
00:19:12,930 --> 00:19:14,160
No more waiting around!

316
00:19:14,161 --> 00:19:16,618
Tomorrow we begin the final stage of our plan!

317
00:19:16,619 --> 00:19:17,619
Shock and Awe!

318
00:19:24,252 --> 00:19:25,871
Dad! Dad!

319
00:19:25,906 --> 00:19:30,594
Stanley. Did you have an inward journey with the old man? Did you have a vision??

320
00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:36,085
Ah, I don't know if I did or not. I, I saw something, someone spoke to me and... told me the middle-class white way to cure SARS.

321
00:19:36,086 --> 00:19:39,222
Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup, Dayquil, and Sprite.

322
00:19:39,236 --> 00:19:43,319
Yes. Yes, of course. Quickly, Stan, we must give it to everyone!

323
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:55,594
Boy, that really did the trick, Stan. I thought we were kind of, sort of, not really done for.

324
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,314
Thanks to you, we're all safe now, Stan.

325
00:20:03,225 --> 00:20:06,642
Now, I will blow your weak, SARS-infested bodies off the Earth!

326
00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:12,117
What the?  Wait a minute.

327
00:20:12,118 --> 00:20:14,483
Stop! Stop!

328
00:20:14,484 --> 00:20:18,833
Your, your SARS. Where did it go?

329
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,252
We have cured ourselves using the medicines of our culture.

330
00:20:25,043 --> 00:20:28,260
My son... Premise Running Thin has the SARS as well.

331
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,678
You... you can cure him?

332
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:41,077
It is amazing. All our plants and herbs failed to heal him,

333
00:20:41,078 --> 00:20:45,573
but your people's remedy brings the spirit of the buffalo back into his heart.

334
00:20:45,574 --> 00:20:48,992
Perhaps there are many things we can learn from your way of life.

335
00:20:49,134 --> 00:20:52,479
We're a simple people. All we want is to be allowed to live our lives.

336
00:20:52,514 --> 00:20:55,299
You have cured Premise Running Thin. In return,

337
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:59,024
I shall give you all five dollars credit at the casino.

338
00:21:00,254 --> 00:21:03,570
All right, all right, I will not build a superhighway through your town.

339
00:21:03,571 --> 00:21:05,563
And you can all have your homes back.

340
00:21:05,777 --> 00:21:08,325
All right! Yeah!  Woohoo!

341
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,989
Well, I guess we all learned that South Park is more than just a town.

342
00:21:10,990 --> 00:21:13,896
It's a community that nobody can split up.

343
00:21:16,534 --> 00:21:18,658
Dude, who the hell are you?

344
00:21:18,893 --> 00:21:22,096
Alex. Alex Glick.

345
00:21:22,784 --> 00:21:25,316
I got to come on and do the guest voice thingy.

346
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,159
What?! Get the hell out of here!

347
00:21:28,194 --> 00:21:30,389
Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Hi Joe!