1
00:00:35,472 --> 00:00:37,194
Dude! What's your little
brother doing here?
2
00:00:37,229 --> 00:00:38,891
Ike is starting his
first day of kindergarten
3
00:00:38,926 --> 00:00:40,469
But isn't he only three years old?
4
00:00:40,504 --> 00:00:43,258
Yeah, but he's some kind of genius, so he's
getting advanced placement in kindergarten.
5
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,675
Ah poobed my pants.
6
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:46,979
But dude, check out
my new Trapper Keeper!
7
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,452
It has five different compartments
for each subject in school.
8
00:00:49,453 --> 00:00:51,244
And it's all covered with
pictures from Dawson's Creek.
9
00:00:51,245 --> 00:00:52,077
Cool!
10
00:00:52,112 --> 00:00:55,829
Hey, dudes, check out my sweet Dawson's Creek Trapper Keeper Ultrakeeper Futura 2000!
11
00:00:57,131 --> 00:01:01,174
Yeah, well , it's got ten different compartments for every subject in school, an electronic pencil sharpener,
12
00:01:01,175 --> 00:01:03,078
four plastic bags with
electronic zippers,
13
00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:06,032
copy machine, fax, a better picture of
Dawson's Creek on the back than Kyle's,
14
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,116
flat-screen TV, and
of course, On-Star.
15
00:01:08,117 --> 00:01:09,224
Wow, cool!
16
00:01:09,234 --> 00:01:12,028
God-damnit, you only got that because
you knew my mom would buy it for me!
17
00:01:12,063 --> 00:01:13,490
Oh, but you have a Trapper Keepeh
- Oh,
18
00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,560
you got the little
Crapper Keeper, didn't you?
19
00:01:15,561 --> 00:01:17,338
Well, at least your stupid
brother got a briefcase.
20
00:01:17,398 --> 00:01:19,098
He's going to kindergarten
because he's a genius!
21
00:01:19,133 --> 00:01:20,997
He's not a genius, he's
a little douche bag.
22
00:01:21,032 --> 00:01:22,619
Ah pooped my pants!!!
23
00:01:22,654 --> 00:01:24,009
He's smarter than you, fatboy!!
24
00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:25,010
I don't even know how you made
it into fourth grade! I thought-
25
00:01:25,715 --> 00:01:27,766
Trapper Keeper, I need to
drown out my annoying friend.
26
00:01:27,767 --> 00:01:30,089
Please initiate music,
country, high volume.
27
00:01:34,342 --> 00:01:36,255
Nobody gives a crap about
your Trapper Keeper, Cartman!
28
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,818
Ms. Crabtree, there's another
creepy homeless guy on the bus.
29
00:01:46,853 --> 00:01:48,332
SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!
30
00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:49,842
But they smell like pee.
31
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,729
I am not a homeless personne.
I am a new fourth-grade studant.
32
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:53,482
You are?
33
00:01:53,517 --> 00:01:56,219
Yes! My name is Bill. Bill Cosby.
34
00:01:56,254 --> 00:01:57,932
Aren't you a little old
to be in grade school?
35
00:01:57,967 --> 00:02:01,828
I was held back ten humon
grades. I mean, grades.
36
00:02:02,266 --> 00:02:04,712
Do you companion-friends
know Eric Cartman?
37
00:02:04,747 --> 00:02:05,755
Yeah, that's me.
38
00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:10,024
Eric Cartman?! And you have a Dawson's
Creek Trapper Keeper Futura S2000
39
00:02:10,059 --> 00:02:11,808
Yeahhh, you already know about it??
40
00:02:11,843 --> 00:02:13,629
Yes. Yes I do.
41
00:02:14,047 --> 00:02:17,446
Well! "Nobody gives a crap about
your Trapper Keeper, Cartman!"
42
00:02:17,481 --> 00:02:18,945
I'm gonna shove that thing up your ass!
43
00:02:18,980 --> 00:02:21,198
Dude, do you really care if Cartman
has something that's better than yours?
44
00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:22,646
No I don't! I don't care!
45
00:02:22,681 --> 00:02:24,126
Here, Kyle.
46
00:02:32,578 --> 00:02:36,635
Hey, there he is. That's the kid that's
s'posed to be some kind of genius.
47
00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:39,974
Yeah, he's only three and
he's already in kindergarten.
48
00:02:40,009 --> 00:02:41,139
Come on.
49
00:02:42,164 --> 00:02:44,988
So, you think you're
smarter than the rest of us?
50
00:02:44,989 --> 00:02:50,081
Do you think you know more about the world just because you are only 3 and we're 5?
51
00:02:50,116 --> 00:02:51,361
Unkoo baba.
52
00:02:52,388 --> 00:02:54,805
Okay, children, let's take our seats.
53
00:02:55,235 --> 00:02:59,737
My name is Mr. Garrison. And
I'm the new kindergarten teacher.
54
00:02:59,738 --> 00:03:02,005
I used to be the third grade teacher,
55
00:03:02,006 --> 00:03:04,830
but I had a little "nervous breakdown"
56
00:03:04,831 --> 00:03:08,917
and went into the mountains where
I lived off of "rat carcasses"
57
00:03:08,918 --> 00:03:12,979
But I'm all better now, and the school
was nice enough to let me go on teaching,
58
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:15,241
as long as it was for kindergarten.
59
00:03:15,242 --> 00:03:17,075
But it's not a demotion.
60
00:03:17,076 --> 00:03:21,190
No. I mean, just because a teacher was teaching third grade and now is teaching kindergarten,
61
00:03:21,191 --> 00:03:22,768
that's not a demotion, is it?
62
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,864
No, that's right, it's not.
63
00:03:24,865 --> 00:03:29,292
Well, let's start with role call.
Uh, let's see. Filmore Anderson?
64
00:03:29,327 --> 00:03:30,002
Heoh.
65
00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:30,910
Sally Bands?
66
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:31,558
Here.
67
00:03:31,593 --> 00:03:33,752
Alright, Ike Broflovski.
68
00:03:33,787 --> 00:03:34,782
Cookah Monster.
69
00:03:34,817 --> 00:03:38,606
Broflovski --- I had your older
brother Kyle in my third-grade class.
70
00:03:38,607 --> 00:03:41,435
He's a very smart kid.
I'm sure you are, too.
71
00:03:41,436 --> 00:03:45,516
Well that's bad news for everybody else,
because I will be grading you all on a curve.
72
00:03:50,559 --> 00:03:53,679
And so the other thing that makes
my Trapper Keeper cooler than Kyle's
73
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,564
is that it can add any peripheral
device to itself automatically.
74
00:03:56,599 --> 00:04:00,236
I can take something as simple as
this calculator and… Trapper Keeper?
75
00:04:00,271 --> 00:04:01,393
Trapper Keeper active.
76
00:04:01,428 --> 00:04:03,004
Hybrid with Wellington Bear Calculator.
77
00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:04,020
Ready for hybrid.
78
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:06,439
And now it can use Wellington
Bear Calculator, too.
79
00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:09,982
May I hold your Trapper Keeper?
80
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,253
Uh, n-no, I'm afraid not, Bill Cosby,
81
00:04:12,254 --> 00:04:14,273
because it is coded to
the prints on my fingers.
82
00:04:14,274 --> 00:04:17,824
If anybody but me tries to hold it, big metal spikes come out and pierce through their hands.
83
00:04:17,859 --> 00:04:20,771
Oh, you are so full of crap, Cartman!
Metal spikes will not come out!
84
00:04:20,806 --> 00:04:23,133
Oh really? Then, why don't you hold it?
85
00:04:24,643 --> 00:04:29,057
Well, go on, Kyle. If it doesn't
have metal spikes, then hold it.
86
00:04:29,058 --> 00:04:30,623
Hold it.
87
00:04:30,658 --> 00:04:31,206
I'm gonna!
88
00:04:31,241 --> 00:04:31,982
Hold it.
89
00:04:32,017 --> 00:04:32,481
I will!
90
00:04:32,516 --> 00:04:35,588
Aaand that's how the relationship
with my father sort of ended.
91
00:04:35,589 --> 00:04:39,939
There's still some sort of skeletons in the closet, but things between us are a little better.
92
00:04:40,477 --> 00:04:44,075
Okay, children, well now it's time
for us to elect a class president,
93
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:47,889
so first we must pick nominees.
Who would like to nominate someone?
94
00:04:47,924 --> 00:04:52,510
I nominate Filmore, because he's
the smartest kid in the class.
95
00:04:52,545 --> 00:04:58,533
Okay, Filmore. You'll be our first
nominee. And who else? Yes, Jenny.
96
00:04:58,568 --> 00:04:59,989
I gotta go doodie.
97
00:05:00,024 --> 00:05:03,762
In a minute, Jenny. Who else wants
to nominate a class presdient?
98
00:05:04,422 --> 00:05:08,012
Oh, come on! You can't have an election with just one person running! What's the fun in that?
99
00:05:08,013 --> 00:05:09,891
Ike? How about you? You're a genius.
100
00:05:11,009 --> 00:05:11,650
No.
101
00:05:11,685 --> 00:05:16,302
Okay, our second nominee
is Ike The Genius.
102
00:05:16,765 --> 00:05:19,851
Okay, children, now we'll
hear briefly from each nominee.
103
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:21,380
Filmore, why don't you go first?
104
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:27,066
If I'm elected class president,
I'll call for big ol' chairs.
105
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:31,593
And on Fridays, I'll add two
minutes to nap time. Thank you.
106
00:05:31,606 --> 00:05:34,936
Very enthralling. Okay,
Ike? How about you?
107
00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:38,430
Cookeh Monsta. Oight
108
00:05:38,465 --> 00:05:42,098
…Well, this is gonna
be a tough one, kids.
109
00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:45,568
Oh, dude, here comes that weird new kid.
110
00:05:45,603 --> 00:05:49,607
Aaahhh, hello Eric. Can I be your
humon friend? I mean, friend?
111
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:52,698
I don't know, dude. I'm not supposed to
have any male friends that are over 30.
112
00:05:52,699 --> 00:05:54,001
I kind of screwed on that once.
113
00:05:54,077 --> 00:05:59,446
Please. We can have fun and play games,
like humon four square I mean, four square.
114
00:05:59,481 --> 00:06:03,212
Dude, you can't just ask to be somebody's friend and be their friend, It doesn't work that way.
115
00:06:03,213 --> 00:06:05,405
If you want to be my friend,
you'll have to pay me.
116
00:06:05,744 --> 00:06:08,862
Oh, I see. Alright, I'll
pay 100 geliga stones ---
117
00:06:08,863 --> 00:06:11,824
uh, I mean, human dollars!
--- eugh, I mean dollars!
118
00:06:12,002 --> 00:06:13,010
Okay, that's cool.
119
00:06:13,045 --> 00:06:15,052
Can we play some humon tetherball?
120
00:06:15,087 --> 00:06:19,614
Ah- alright. Pretty sweet, you guys, getting a hundred bucks to play tetherball with some-
121
00:06:19,649 --> 00:06:20,307
Serve!
122
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:21,993
Got it!
123
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,358
Dude! He's running off
with your Trapper Keeper!
124
00:06:25,353 --> 00:06:26,739
You son of a bitch!
125
00:06:26,740 --> 00:06:29,963
Wait a minute. Lucky for me, I have my Trapper Keeper homing device.
126
00:06:30,522 --> 00:06:31,686
What the hell just happened?
127
00:06:31,721 --> 00:06:33,453
Damn! I thought fourth
grade was gonna be different.
128
00:06:35,597 --> 00:06:40,175
So that's six votes for
Filmore and six votes for Ike.
129
00:06:40,176 --> 00:06:42,722
And the last vote is for...
130
00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:47,007
uh, let's see. Flora, I
can't tell who you voted for.
131
00:06:48,592 --> 00:06:50,915
You've got the winning
vote, Flora. Who d'you pick?
132
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:52,046
I don't know...
133
00:06:52,081 --> 00:06:53,848
Flora, you have to pick
one: Filmore or Ike.
134
00:06:53,883 --> 00:06:57,616
Um, I vote for... I don't know.
135
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,297
Oh, great! Flora's undecided!
136
00:06:59,298 --> 00:07:03,155
Well, you're just gonna have to sit there, Flora, and think about it until you come up with an answer.
137
00:07:03,193 --> 00:07:04,085
Okay.
138
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:08,077
Flora, just say you vote for
Filmore so we can all go home.
139
00:07:09,536 --> 00:07:11,454
No! You want Ike to be president.
140
00:07:11,489 --> 00:07:15,330
We're gonna be here all night!
Why don't you guys just concede?!
141
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,507
Why don't you just concede?!
142
00:07:17,542 --> 00:07:18,222
Yeah!
143
00:07:20,994 --> 00:07:23,768
Oh, for Christ's sakes, you're
all acting like a bunch o' kids!
144
00:07:26,044 --> 00:07:28,527
Turn left here! We're getting
close! Get your gun ready!
145
00:07:28,562 --> 00:07:31,961
Eric, I'm not gonna shoot anybody
for taking your school folder!
146
00:07:31,996 --> 00:07:35,709
It was NOT a school folder, it was a Dawson's Creek Trapper Keeper Futura S2000!
147
00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:37,204
And if
-! There he is!
148
00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:38,561
Got ya!
149
00:07:38,596 --> 00:07:39,195
Hey!
150
00:07:49,248 --> 00:07:50,196
Whoa, dude!
151
00:07:55,073 --> 00:07:57,077
Aah, try to take my
Trapper Keeper, will you?
152
00:07:57,112 --> 00:07:59,284
Please. You do not understand.
153
00:07:59,319 --> 00:08:01,177
Book him, Barbrady.
Another job well done.
154
00:08:01,212 --> 00:08:03,462
That Trapper Keeper has to be destroyed!
155
00:08:03,497 --> 00:08:05,817
Why are you so obsessed with
Cartman's Trapper Keeper, Bill Cosby?
156
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,065
Bill Cosby??
157
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:11,192
Nooo! Listen to me! I
am not really Bill Cosby.
158
00:08:12,048 --> 00:08:14,137
My name is VSM471.
159
00:08:14,138 --> 00:08:17,660
I am a cyborg engineered by
humons from the year 2034.
160
00:08:17,732 --> 00:08:19,559
Well, I knew you weren't Bill Cosby!
161
00:08:19,594 --> 00:08:21,491
I have come to destroy
that Trapper Keeper,
162
00:08:21,492 --> 00:08:26,129
because it was the Dawson's Creek Trapper Keeper that belongs to an Eric Cartman in South Park
163
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,583
which three years from now manifests
itself into an omnipotent superbeing,
164
00:08:29,584 --> 00:08:31,384
and destroys all of humonity.
165
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:37,602
In the year two thousand and four a hybrid-assimilating computer linked with a satellite uplink computer.
166
00:08:37,603 --> 00:08:40,875
From there it was able to slowly
take over every computer in the world.
167
00:08:40,876 --> 00:08:43,044
It became stronger and stronger!
168
00:08:43,045 --> 00:08:46,700
Until, by the year 2018
it broke away from mankind
169
00:08:46,701 --> 00:08:49,108
and there was nothing
the humons could do.
170
00:08:49,109 --> 00:08:54,649
It wasn't long before Mighty Trapper Keeper
started to destroy everything as useless,
171
00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:57,026
including humons.
172
00:08:57,027 --> 00:09:01,115
The nations tried everything to stop
it. Nuclear devices, seismic missiles.
173
00:09:01,116 --> 00:09:05,877
But nothng worked. The humons built
robots of their own, whole armies of them
174
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:09,086
But nothing was strong
enough to stop Trapper Keeper.
175
00:09:10,734 --> 00:09:12,180
And so finally,
176
00:09:12,181 --> 00:09:18,536
the humons decided to send one of their robots into the past to destroy the Trapper Keeper before it even got started.
177
00:09:18,669 --> 00:09:19,848
Wow, that's amazing
178
00:09:19,883 --> 00:09:23,184
Man, I guess sometimes we let our
technology and stuff grow too fast.
179
00:09:23,219 --> 00:09:24,585
What do you think, Officer Barbrady?
180
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,250
Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
181
00:09:26,285 --> 00:09:30,906
And so, Eric. Now you see why we
must destroooyy your Trapper Keeper.
182
00:09:32,051 --> 00:09:35,843
…You guys. Did I mention that it has a
pencil sharpener and a crayon sharpener?
183
00:09:35,878 --> 00:09:37,866
Cartman, it takes over the world
and destroy all of humanity!
184
00:09:37,901 --> 00:09:39,422
What would you guys have me do, huh?!
185
00:09:39,423 --> 00:09:41,703
Walk around with just a plain
old Trapper Keeper like Kyle's?!
186
00:09:41,704 --> 00:09:42,644
Is that what you want?!
187
00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:43,403
Yes!
188
00:09:43,438 --> 00:09:45,189
Aw, damnit! Here! Take it!
189
00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:48,602
You want my heart as well?! You'll
find it on the bottom of your shoes!
190
00:09:53,879 --> 00:09:55,122
I decided.
191
00:09:55,157 --> 00:09:58,394
Oh, thank God, Flora!
Alright, who do you vote for?
192
00:09:58,429 --> 00:10:00,165
Uumm, Ike.
193
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:00,897
YAY!
194
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:05,909
Okay, so then the total is six for
Filmore and now seven votes for Ike.
195
00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:07,542
Ike is the new class persident.
196
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:09,117
We want a recount.
197
00:10:09,152 --> 00:10:09,774
What?
198
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:12,213
Recount! Recount! Recount! Recount!
199
00:10:12,248 --> 00:10:14,140
Oh, of all the juvenile
things I've ever heard!
200
00:10:14,141 --> 00:10:16,598
You LOST, Filmore! Don't be such a baby!
201
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:21,155
Alright, alright, I'll
count up the ballots again.
202
00:10:21,156 --> 00:10:24,168
Okay, we had one vote for Filmore…
203
00:10:24,169 --> 00:10:29,231
…And this time, I again get six votes
for Filmore and seven votes for Ike!
204
00:10:29,266 --> 00:10:30,189
Count them again.
205
00:10:30,224 --> 00:10:30,868
Yeh!
206
00:10:30,903 --> 00:10:35,847
NO, children! I've recounted 106 times
now and I keep coming up with seven to six!
207
00:10:35,848 --> 00:10:40,034
Except in the one instance where it came out seven to five, and one where it came out twelve to fourteen.
208
00:10:40,035 --> 00:10:42,585
IT'S OVER! IKE IS CLASS PRESIDENT!
209
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,220
Wait, there's still that absent kid.
210
00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:47,668
Yeah. If Carlos is absent,
we have to wait for his vote.
211
00:10:47,703 --> 00:10:49,096
Oh, will you grow up?!
212
00:10:49,131 --> 00:10:51,690
Absent kids count! Absent kids count!
213
00:10:52,325 --> 00:10:57,661
Jesus! Alright, we'll wait for tomorrow so the absent kid can cast his vote! Now go home!
214
00:11:01,218 --> 00:11:02,219
Good morning, humons.
215
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:03,510
Hey, Bill Cosby.
216
00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:06,498
I have successfully destroyed
Eric Cartman's Trapper Keeper.
217
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:11,930
I broke it apart, dipped the motherboards in acid, burned the memory chips, and sent the wiring to the four corners of Canada.
218
00:11:11,994 --> 00:11:12,849
That should do it.
219
00:11:12,884 --> 00:11:14,996
So what are you going to do with your
crappy robot life now, Bill Cosby?
220
00:11:15,031 --> 00:11:17,926
Well, that is a problem that is
causing me some disconcernment.
221
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,171
I am still here, but
I shouldn't be here.
222
00:11:20,172 --> 00:11:22,555
If Trapper Keeper has been
stopped, then I should not exist.
223
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,933
But here I am. Something
is still not right.
224
00:11:24,968 --> 00:11:25,825
Hey, dudes.
225
00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:27,408
Cartman! You still got a Trapper Keeper!
226
00:11:27,443 --> 00:11:28,669
Yeah, I'm a genius!
227
00:11:28,670 --> 00:11:31,433
Last night I went home and told
my mom that I lost the last one.
228
00:11:31,434 --> 00:11:35,428
Then I cried and I cried, and finally she felt so bad that she took me to the store and bought me a NEW one!
229
00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:36,671
So everything worked out.
230
00:11:36,676 --> 00:11:37,457
Oh no!
231
00:11:37,492 --> 00:11:39,853
Cartman, you dumbass!
You can't get a new one!
232
00:11:39,888 --> 00:11:40,726
Why the hell not?!
233
00:11:40,761 --> 00:11:44,495
Because if your Trapper Keeper takes over the world, then maybe it was THIS Trapper Keeper and not the one before!
234
00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:47,287
Wait… sso then you guys burned
my last one for no reason!
235
00:11:47,322 --> 00:11:48,886
We will have to destroy
this Trapper Keeper.
236
00:11:48,921 --> 00:11:51,458
But I don't think I can get
my mom to buy me another one.
237
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:54,223
Don't you get it?! You can't
have ANY Trapper Keeper, fatass!
238
00:11:54,258 --> 00:11:56,820
Oh, that is bullcrap! And
you know what I think?!
239
00:11:56,821 --> 00:11:58,890
I think this whole thing is a SETUP!
240
00:11:58,891 --> 00:12:03,536
That's right! Kyle got this guy to say that he's a robot from the future just because he's jealous of my Trapper Keeper!
241
00:12:03,537 --> 00:12:06,798
And you know what else?!
Screw you guys, I'm going home!
242
00:12:07,303 --> 00:12:08,029
Cartman!
243
00:12:08,064 --> 00:12:08,987
Ech! Screw you guys, home!
244
00:12:09,022 --> 00:12:10,285
Well, that does it!
245
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:11,116
Hey! What are you doing?
246
00:12:11,151 --> 00:12:14,131
I'm afraid I have no other choice! For
the sake of humanity I have to kill him.
247
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,462
Oh. Okay.
248
00:12:15,463 --> 00:12:17,583
Yeah, that's fine… No, wait!
249
00:12:17,618 --> 00:12:18,083
What?!
250
00:12:18,118 --> 00:12:18,752
Can I do it?
251
00:12:18,787 --> 00:12:20,202
Oh, well, I suppose…
252
00:12:20,237 --> 00:12:22,175
Sweet! Kiss your ass goodbye, fatboy!
253
00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:24,017
Wait! Perhaps there is another way.
254
00:12:24,018 --> 00:12:27,895
If you could take me to where Eric Cartman lives, I could try reasoning with his human mother.
255
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:29,514
Whoa. Yeah, or we could just kill him.
256
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:30,512
Yeah, that'd be faster.
257
00:12:30,547 --> 00:12:31,102
He's right there.
258
00:12:31,137 --> 00:12:32,268
I'm afraid I can't.
259
00:12:32,269 --> 00:12:35,675
I think I'm actually starting to feel
what you humons call "compassion."
260
00:12:35,676 --> 00:12:37,110
It is an amazing feeling!
261
00:12:38,134 --> 00:12:42,749
Alright children, as you know, we've been waiting for the absent kid's ballot to come in.
262
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:47,601
Well, his mother was nice enough to bring him in from the hospital so that he could cast his vote.
263
00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:48,786
Ms. Harris?
264
00:12:52,115 --> 00:12:52,726
Here.
265
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,258
Thank you very much, Billy.
Don't forget to pick up your lung.
266
00:12:56,259 --> 00:13:00,906
Alright, the absent kid's
ballot is for… Fillmore.
267
00:13:00,941 --> 00:13:01,992
Yay, hooray.
268
00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:04,534
Wait one minute!
269
00:13:04,569 --> 00:13:06,511
Oh, Jesus Tapdancing Christ!
270
00:13:06,546 --> 00:13:07,977
I think the ballot were misleading.
271
00:13:07,978 --> 00:13:10,417
Some kids didn't understand
whom they were voting for.
272
00:13:10,452 --> 00:13:14,648
There's a box next to Filmore's name and a box next to Ike's! What's not to understand?!
273
00:13:14,683 --> 00:13:17,703
You're just saying that, 'cause
you know you're gonna lose now!
274
00:13:17,738 --> 00:13:20,062
No, I'm saying that because
you are a boogerface!
275
00:13:20,097 --> 00:13:24,744
Well, just you wait, 'cause myuh
famous aunt is on huh way wight now.
276
00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:26,470
Who's your famous aunt?
277
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:28,695
My aunt Wosie, Wosie O'Donnell
278
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:31,393
Your aunt Rosie
O'Donnell is coming here?
279
00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:35,809
Yeah, she's vewy active in politics.
So she's gonna set all this straight.
280
00:13:35,844 --> 00:13:36,932
Oh no!
281
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,824
Recharging.
282
00:13:42,893 --> 00:13:45,084
Sweet. You're so cool, Trapper Keeper.
283
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,996
I would never let those
assholes take you away.
284
00:13:47,031 --> 00:13:50,755
I don't wanna wait for
my Trapper Keeper forever
285
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:51,999
The ways of my Trap-
286
00:13:52,034 --> 00:13:53,425
Trapper Keeper, ready to ensorb.
287
00:13:54,923 --> 00:13:55,693
Oh! Cool.
288
00:13:55,728 --> 00:13:57,003
Trapper Keeper, merging.
289
00:14:02,823 --> 00:14:07,010
And so you see, Ms. Cartman, you cannot
buy your son Eric another Trapper Keeper.
290
00:14:07,011 --> 00:14:08,480
Not now! Not ever!
291
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:13,269
Right, because it will hybrid with all those other processors and generate a whole new era of technological darkness.
292
00:14:13,304 --> 00:14:14,098
Correct.
293
00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:16,785
Well, I certainly won't
buy him anymore, then… Bill
294
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:20,863
Good. Now all that is left to do is
destroy the Trapper Keeper Eric has now.
295
00:14:20,864 --> 00:14:21,529
Where is he?
296
00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:25,142
In his room. But, why don't I show
you the rest of the house first?
297
00:14:25,177 --> 00:14:26,234
Uh oh.
298
00:14:26,269 --> 00:14:27,119
Here we go again.
299
00:14:27,154 --> 00:14:28,490
Come this way, Billy.
300
00:14:28,525 --> 00:14:30,828
Well, come on. Let's go upstairs and get Cartman's Trapper Keeper ourselves.
301
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,823
…Kyle is just jealous of you,
Trapper Keeper. You kick ass!
302
00:14:34,824 --> 00:14:35,824
I don't wanna let my
Trapper Keeper get-
303
00:14:38,105 --> 00:14:39,717
Open up, Cartman! We're
taking your Trapper Keeper!
304
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,175
Screw you guys, screw you
guys. Screw you guys, scr-
305
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:47,178
Trapper Keeper, ready to ensorb.
306
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,290
Damnit Cartman, open up!
307
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:52,869
Trapper Keeper, ready for hybrid.
308
00:14:52,904 --> 00:14:54,610
Oh, sweet. What's it
gonna hybrid with now?
309
00:14:57,212 --> 00:14:58,453
Cartman, you might as well open up!
310
00:14:58,454 --> 00:15:01,557
We're just gonna have Bill Cosby bust the door down after he finishes having sex with your mom!
311
00:15:03,199 --> 00:15:09,123
Cartman?? He's not gonna
open it! Break it down!
312
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:09,839
You break it down!
313
00:15:09,874 --> 00:15:12,297
Okay. Ready? One Two Three, Not it!
314
00:15:12,332 --> 00:15:13,172
Not it! You lose, Kenny.
315
00:15:13,207 --> 00:15:13,981
(Damn!)
316
00:15:18,993 --> 00:15:20,675
…Oh my God, they've killed Kenny!
317
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:21,962
You ba-
318
00:15:32,856 --> 00:15:39,277
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!
319
00:15:37,917 --> 00:15:39,639
What the hell is that?
320
00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:42,462
Oh my God! What is that thing?!
321
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:46,236
Children, there's some huge bulbous
monstrosity heading for the classroom!
322
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,799
Oh my God, it's awful!
It's coming for the door.
323
00:15:51,274 --> 00:15:52,124
Hello, kids!
324
00:15:52,488 --> 00:15:53,672
Aunt Wosie!
325
00:15:53,707 --> 00:15:56,340
Run for your lives, children!
I'll try to fight it off!
326
00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:58,371
That's my aunt, Wosie O'Donnell.
327
00:15:58,406 --> 00:16:04,300
Oh. Oh, um. Pleasure to meet you,
Miss O'Donnell. You're looking… well.
328
00:16:04,335 --> 00:16:07,261
Don't worry kids. Everythng's
gonna be fine. What's the problem?
329
00:16:07,296 --> 00:16:11,001
Aunt Wosie. We think I
won for class president.
330
00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:12,128
No, Ike won.
331
00:16:12,163 --> 00:16:14,947
Look, it's very simple. We
took a vote and the vote tied,
332
00:16:14,948 --> 00:16:16,543
so now we gotta come up with a way-
333
00:16:16,674 --> 00:16:18,979
Well it obviously isn't
that simple, is it?!
334
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:22,213
I mean, you'd think a little kindergarten
teacher could've handled this,
335
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,224
but now we're gonna do it my way!
336
00:16:31,174 --> 00:16:33,299
We are Trapper Keeper.
337
00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:37,448
Oh no! It is heading
for Cheyenne Mountain!
338
00:16:37,483 --> 00:16:38,591
Why is that bad?
339
00:16:38,626 --> 00:16:43,299
It was when the Trapper Keeper assimilated with the supercomputer at Cheyenne Mountain
340
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:46,635
that it was able to fuse
into all defensive computors!
341
00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:48,392
Then we have to stop
it before it gets there!
342
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:50,963
Step on it, Bill Cosby!
343
00:16:53,836 --> 00:16:55,458
Hey Mark, look.
344
00:16:57,839 --> 00:17:00,815
Wow. That is about the nicest
Trapper Keeper I've ever seen.
345
00:17:02,685 --> 00:17:03,877
Cartman, you have to stop!
346
00:17:05,277 --> 00:17:08,090
We are Trapper Keeper. We are one.
347
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:10,934
A part of your friend must
still be alive in there.
348
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,123
He is in there.
349
00:17:16,158 --> 00:17:19,088
That must be what Trapper
Keeper is using for ventilation.
350
00:17:19,089 --> 00:17:21,669
If one of you could get in
there, you could reach the CPU
351
00:17:21,704 --> 00:17:22,557
One-two-three
not it!
352
00:17:22,592 --> 00:17:24,196
Not
- Aw, Damnit!
353
00:17:35,658 --> 00:17:37,341
What are you doing, Kyle?
354
00:17:37,376 --> 00:17:39,990
I'm going to try and break you
away from the computer, Cartman.
355
00:17:39,991 --> 00:17:41,427
I need to remove the CPU.
356
00:17:41,619 --> 00:17:43,796
I'm afraid I can't
let you do that, Kyle.
357
00:17:43,831 --> 00:17:45,011
Screw you, fatass!
358
00:17:45,046 --> 00:17:46,112
Hey-eh, screw you.
359
00:17:46,675 --> 00:17:47,195
Cartman!
360
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:49,271
No!
361
00:17:53,029 --> 00:17:56,712
Okay, so then what we're going to
do is count everybody's vote by hand,
362
00:17:56,713 --> 00:17:59,904
and after that, we're gonna go over
the votes again manually, and then-
363
00:17:59,939 --> 00:18:02,931
Oh, STOP IT, STOP STOP IHIHIHIHIT!
364
00:18:03,521 --> 00:18:06,532
Look kids, we're all in this
kindergarten class together.
365
00:18:06,533 --> 00:18:10,041
We have to respect one another or else
we're in for a terrible school year.
366
00:18:10,076 --> 00:18:14,842
We're just making sure that the kids that
voted for my nephew don't get cheated.
367
00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:18,420
Half the kids in the class didn't vote
for your nephew, so what about them?
368
00:18:18,421 --> 00:18:21,322
You don't give a crap about them
because they're not on your side!
369
00:18:21,323 --> 00:18:25,255
People like you preach tolerance and open-mindedness all the time, but when it comes to Middle America,
370
00:18:25,256 --> 00:18:29,107
you think we're all evil and stupid country yokels who need your political enlightenment!!
371
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:32,297
WELL, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ON TV DOESN'T MEAN YOU KNOW CRAP ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT!!!
372
00:18:32,298 --> 00:18:37,877
NOW GET YOUR ASS BACK ON FIRST CLASS AND RESPECT THIS CLASS'S RIGHT TO MAKE UP THEIR OWN MINDS!!!
373
00:18:39,531 --> 00:18:42,255
…Oh, sorry I got a little
off the subject, kids.
374
00:18:42,256 --> 00:18:43,757
How dare you?!
375
00:18:43,758 --> 00:18:46,607
I will not be preached
at by a country bumpkin!
376
00:18:46,608 --> 00:18:48,413
I'm leaving this podunk town,
377
00:18:48,414 --> 00:18:53,963
but in my place I'm gonna send more lawyers, statesmen and press than you have ever SEEN!
378
00:18:54,528 --> 00:18:58,442
Oh no, children, I think I've
just made this a whole lot worse.
379
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:16,785
Well that does it! I'm
gonna have to report this!
380
00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:18,209
Cargo on to base-
381
00:19:19,683 --> 00:19:22,790
It is infusing with everything.
It is already too powerful to stop!
382
00:19:22,825 --> 00:19:24,897
Kyle's got to succeed. He's just got to.
383
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,939
I can't reach the CPU.
384
00:19:29,937 --> 00:19:32,378
What are you doin'?! Get out of my way!
385
00:19:32,413 --> 00:19:34,865
Oh no! Now there's two of those things!
386
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:37,029
No, I think that other
thing is Rosie O'Donnell.
387
00:19:37,064 --> 00:19:40,159
Huh? Which one? I
- It's just like I'm seeing double.
388
00:19:40,194 --> 00:19:43,009
I said, get out of my way!
389
00:19:52,544 --> 00:19:56,583
Look! I think that infusing with Rosie O'Donnell has made Trapper Keeper sick.
390
00:19:56,618 --> 00:20:01,283
Oohh. Bad pie. Bad pie.
391
00:20:01,318 --> 00:20:03,208
This is your chance,
Kyle! Cartman has weakened!
392
00:20:06,158 --> 00:20:07,078
Got 'em!
393
00:20:12,572 --> 00:20:13,376
He did it!
394
00:20:19,039 --> 00:20:21,742
Okay, children, the
lawyers for Ike's side
395
00:20:21,743 --> 00:20:27,211
have agreed with the lawyers on Filmore's side to hold another meeting regarding Form 22F.
396
00:20:27,212 --> 00:20:28,721
Do we all have that form?
397
00:20:28,756 --> 00:20:30,230
Is this the Kindergarten classroom?
398
00:20:30,265 --> 00:20:31,633
Jesse Jackson?
399
00:20:31,668 --> 00:20:35,955
That's right! I believe the African-American
in your class were misrepresented!
400
00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:38,634
We don't have any
African-Americans in our class!
401
00:20:38,669 --> 00:20:40,307
Oh. Bye.
402
00:20:41,816 --> 00:20:45,952
Alright, so apparently what we're gonna
do now is hand-count each person's ballot-
403
00:20:45,987 --> 00:20:48,293
Mistoreh Garrison, I concede.
404
00:20:50,756 --> 00:20:52,278
You… yuh, you what?
405
00:20:52,313 --> 00:20:54,913
I don't wanna play anymore,
'cause this game is stupid!
406
00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:56,515
Yeah. It doesn't make any sense.
407
00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:58,878
Ike, you could be class president.
408
00:20:58,913 --> 00:21:00,690
I pooped my pants!
409
00:21:00,725 --> 00:21:02,272
Can we fingerpaint now?
410
00:21:02,307 --> 00:21:05,435
Fingerpaint! Fingerpaint!
411
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,794
Ohuh. Yes. Yes! Let's fingerpaint!
412
00:21:09,763 --> 00:21:12,326
You did it, Kyle! Kyle
saved your life, fatass!
413
00:21:12,361 --> 00:21:16,842
Look! I'm fading! It must
have worked! I don't exist!
414
00:21:17,156 --> 00:21:18,884
Oh, that's a bitch.
415
00:21:18,919 --> 00:21:22,165
Ogh. Well, I guess everything's
fine now. So let's go home.
416
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,729
Hey! Whoa whoa whoa, Cartman!
417
00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:26,266
All you've been doing is making fun
of Kyle and now he's saved your life!
418
00:21:26,267 --> 00:21:27,730
You at least owe him a thank you!
419
00:21:27,765 --> 00:21:28,982
Awww man.
420
00:21:29,017 --> 00:21:29,751
Cartman!
421
00:21:29,786 --> 00:21:31,479
Alright, alright.
422
00:21:32,617 --> 00:21:34,607
Kyle,-