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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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The holiday season is here.
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And Black Friday is upon us.
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As you know, Black Friday is the day
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shoppers go berserk
for holiday deals.
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Last year, 26 people died
and 461 were seriously injured.
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This winter,
the mall is offering 80% off
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to the first 20 people in the store.
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- It'll be a bloodbath!
- Are you crazy?
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For you new recruits,
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perhaps you took this job to see
just what the violence was like,
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or perhaps you
thought working Black Friday
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wouldn't be a big deal.
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I'm just trying to earn
some extra holiday cash.
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Or maybe you're just
too stupid to realize
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what you've gotten yourselves into.
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That's enough!
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Our only chance of surviving
this year's sale
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is by sticking together.
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Those of you who signed up
are to be commended.
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But I warn you,
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do not underestimate the battle
that's about to take place
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outside those doors.
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Winter is coming.
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Good evening, sir.
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I'm calling together
all the Fighters of Zaron.
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I need to speak with Lady McKormick.
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She's not here right now.
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Please tell her there's to be
a meeting in the great hall.
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I have found a way to get Xbox Ones
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and the Fair Lady McKormick
will want to hear about it.
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[Overlapping chatter]
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[Banging]
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Thank you all for coming.
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Prince Token, Sir Timmy Of Blacklake,
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Lady McKormick.
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[Giggles]
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Warriors, we have fought
many great battles together
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at Claude's house,
at Scott Malkinson's house.
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But soon we will be fighting
the greatest battle
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of our young, hot lives.
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Winter is coming.
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And the next gen gaming devices
are hitting the shelves.
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Which nobody can afford.
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What if I were to tell you
that if we all work together
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there's a way we can
get the new gaming systems?
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If you know of a way Wizard,
then speak.
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I've learned of a dark magic at work.
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The day after Thanksgiving,
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the first 20 people inside the mall
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get 80% of whatever they want.
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They're calling it "Black Friday".
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Whoa! Spooky!
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Black Friday?
Come on, that can't be real.
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It is real, Craig.
I saw it on the news, butthole.
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It is real.
They do it every year.
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But everyone in town tries
to be the first inside the mall
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on Black Friday.
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- What chance do we have?
- On our own, none.
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But if we plan, strategize,
and fight together,
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we can be the first people
inside on Black Friday
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and use the 60% to get
the gaming systems
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we need to survive.
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Well, it's almost Thanksgiving,
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and we all know what that means.
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That's right, Black Friday
is just around the corner.
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Ouch.
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And people are already gearing up.
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We usually start lining up
around 3:00 a.m.
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We, uh, douse ourselves in pig blood,
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because it does help us
slip through the crowd
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when the doors open.
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We do it every year,
part of the family tradition.
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Last year
we lost our youngest daughter.
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Her head was stepped on and crushed.
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But in her memory,
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we're going to find a young girl
and step on her head this year.
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If anyone thinks they're gonna
beat me inside that mall
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and keep me from getting
my kids' Christmas presents,
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they can kiss my fat vagina,
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'cause I'm bringing
the motherfucking pain.
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Tom, the South park mall
says they've beefed up security
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in an effort to reduce
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the number of fatalities this year.
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One thing's for sure,
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people take Black Friday
very seriously.
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Yes. Yes, very nice.
Good.
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Wizard Cartman, I have news
from the Internet, Milord.
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They don't salute
in Game Of Thrones, Butters.
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Sorry, I haven't watched it yet.
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Okay, well, you need
to start immediately, please.
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[Clears throat]
Ah, very good!
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The House of Greyhawk
has agreed to join our fight.
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- The House of Greyhawk?
- Larry and Brad stolsky.
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But, my friends,
we must still find others
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who will fight by our side.
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Are there no other factions
we can call to our aid?
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Yeah, I know.
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How about we ask those kids
who play Star Trek?
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Uh, no, screw those guys.
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They're dorks
and I'm not playing with them.
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Hey, that's what I'm talking about.
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Got any extra of that?
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Oh, thanks.
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Gets a little boring
around here, you know?
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Enjoy the boredom while you can.
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So you worked here last winter?
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You worked on Black Friday?
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I did.
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Is it really as bad
as they say it is?
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[Dramatic music]
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The shoppers...
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Started showing up
at midnight on Thursday.
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They didn't line up,
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they just crammed themselves
near the main entrance.
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I can see their faces smushed up
against the glass,
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licking their lips,
waiting to get in.
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God, the sounds that they made.
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It was 5:00 a.m.
when they opened they doors.
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There was screaming, blood,
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people tearing each other's faces off
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while holiday music played
in the background.
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I saw a woman pick up
her daughter by the ankle
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and swing her
into some old guy's head.
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Before I knew it, they were
all around me fighting, clawing.
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Then a hand reached in
and pulled me out.
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Old cap.
He saved us all that day.
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When it was over,
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the front of the mall
was covered in red,
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bodies, shopping bags.
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And now winter comes again.
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Wizard Cartman,
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I've watched some more
Game Of Thrones.
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Ah, yes, paladin Butters.
Are you enjoying it?
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Well, it's pretty good, I guess.
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But have you ever noticed
that almost every time
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they show a guy's wiener
that guy's character is gay?
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What do you mean?
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Well, it's just that they have
a lot of girls' boobs
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and vaginas and stuff,
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but most times
they show a man's wiener,
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it's because that guy's in
a love scene with another guy.
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You think it's because
gay wieners are less threatening
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to women viewers?
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I believe you might be missing
the greater point of show,
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Paladin Butters.
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Yeah, I know.
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Winter is coming, and there's
dragons and zombies on the way.
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I'm pretty excited for that.
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Just can do with a little less
gay wiener is all.
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We have word from the Kindergartners.
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They've agreed to join us.
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[All cheering]
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Those Xbox Ones are as good as ours.
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- Yeah!
- Wait, wait.
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What are you talking about,
Xbox Ones?
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That's what this is all about, Craig.
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We're all trying to get
Xbox Ones on Black Friday.
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I thought we were getting
Playstation 4s.
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- What?
- Uh, me too.
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No, guys,
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when I said we're gonna get
the next gen gaming systems,
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- I was obviously talking about Xboxes.
- Yeah.
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But I want a PS4, not a crappy Xbox.
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Look, guys.
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- We all have to agree on one system.
- That's right.
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If some of us are on PS4s,
but the rest of us are on Xboxes
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then we all
can't play together online.
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See? This is all about
committing to one machine.
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Right.
Let's all get PS4s.
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No, the Xboxes are gonna be better.
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They're not better,
they're just more expensive.
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We are getting Xbox Ones,
guys, and that is final.
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That's exactly how Xbox people are.
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- Yeah!
- Fine!
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If you guys don't wanna
join us on Black Friday
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to get Xboxes, then that's fine!
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We're still going to fight
on Black Friday,
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just not with you.
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Oh, it's going to be
like that, is it?
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Everyone who wants
to get PS4s, join with us.
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No, we can't divide like this.
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Stan, you're on our side, right?
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I like the PS4's controller better.
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Stan, the PS4 doesn't have
the seamless transition
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between games, movies, and TV
offered by Xbox One.
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The PS4 controller
has a touchpad interface.
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You never listen.
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I told you I thought
the PS4 was better,
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but you never wanted
to listen to me, Kyle.
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You just had your head so set
because...
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Because that's how Xbox people are.
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Then I guess I'll see you
on Black Friday.
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If I see you at the mall, Kyle,
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I will have to try
to beat you inside.
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I know.
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Come on, Kyle.
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Let these Sony fucks wallow
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in their limited voice control
functionality.
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♪ Christmas is coming,
goose is getting fat♪
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♪ Please do put a penny
in the old man's...♪
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00:09:19,913 --> 00:09:20,982
What the hell are you doing?
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00:09:21,107 --> 00:09:22,944
Oh, hey, Sharon.
You're up, huh?
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00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,872
I, uh...
all right, look.
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I took a temp job at the mall.
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00:09:27,910 --> 00:09:30,158
I just wanted to make
some extra holiday cash.
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Bullshit.
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00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,212
I did, Sharon!
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00:09:33,337 --> 00:09:35,019
I saw they were hiring
extra security,
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00:09:35,144 --> 00:09:36,576
and I thought it'd be a good way
to make money.
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00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,656
You're doing this to try
and get to the front of line
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on Black Friday, aren't you?
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00:09:42,706 --> 00:09:44,523
Nobody else
has thought of it, Sharon.
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I won't even be out in the crowd.
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00:09:46,074 --> 00:09:48,087
I'll be on the inside
when the doors open.
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While everyone is trying
to run over each other,
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I'll turn around
and run right into the stores.
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I'll be the first to get
whatever I want.
219
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:56,424
Isn't Black Friday supposed
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00:09:56,549 --> 00:09:58,723
to be about buying things
for other people?
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00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,724
Winter's coming, Sharon,
222
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:04,366
and I'm a sneaky little bee.
Buzz, buzz.
223
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:10,110
{pub}Thrusters are at 20%, Captain.
224
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,237
Engage, Ensign, warp factor one.
225
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:15,490
Captain, we have an incoming
Facetime request from Eric Cartman.
226
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:16,708
On screen.
227
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,076
Oh, hey, guys.
What's up?
228
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:18,725
Nothing much.
229
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,482
We're just about to check out
a class "M" planet
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that might have new sources
of tririllium.
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00:10:22,762 --> 00:10:24,274
God, these guys are such dorks.
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00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:25,918
Just find out who they're loyal to.
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00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:27,518
Uh, yeah, big dong and prosper.
234
00:10:27,643 --> 00:10:29,879
Um, listen, guys.
You're Xbox people, right?
235
00:10:30,904 --> 00:10:32,567
Given the Xbox's faster frame rate,
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00:10:32,692 --> 00:10:33,878
we have no choice but to declare it
237
00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:36,135
the most technologically fit
for Starfleet.
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00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:37,878
Oh, my God, they're so gay.
239
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:38,993
Um, cool.
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00:10:39,118 --> 00:10:40,110
What if I were to tell you
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00:10:40,235 --> 00:10:41,725
that we have a way for you to join us
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00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,060
in getting Xbox Ones super cheap?
243
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,271
Cheap Xbox Ones?
For reals?
244
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,357
The Federation has agreed
to fight with us.
245
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:52,819
With them and the Kindergartners,
our army has just doubled in size.
246
00:10:54,903 --> 00:10:56,389
You still think you can convince Stan
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00:10:56,514 --> 00:10:58,546
to come back to our side,
don't you, Sir Kyle?
248
00:10:59,452 --> 00:11:00,602
I don't know.
249
00:11:01,273 --> 00:11:02,996
You can't change his mind, Sir Kyle.
250
00:11:03,235 --> 00:11:05,110
Sony people don't think with logic.
251
00:11:05,235 --> 00:11:08,285
He betrayed us and now we must
out-Game-Of-Thrones him
252
00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:09,836
by making powerful alliances.
253
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,337
Oh, don't even get me started!
254
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:13,272
I keep watching that show
and I'm still waiting
255
00:11:13,397 --> 00:11:16,110
for the darn dragons to show up
and kick everyone's butts.
256
00:11:16,235 --> 00:11:18,110
But all I get is wiener,
wiener, wiener.
257
00:11:18,235 --> 00:11:19,610
It's not all gay wiener,
258
00:11:19,735 --> 00:11:21,110
but when they do show
a straight guy's wiener,
259
00:11:21,235 --> 00:11:22,511
it's all soft and floppy,
260
00:11:22,636 --> 00:11:24,511
even though he just got done
humping a pretty girl.
261
00:11:24,636 --> 00:11:25,472
Why is that?
262
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,409
Because a soft wiener
isn't threatening,
263
00:11:27,534 --> 00:11:29,200
just like a gay wiener.
264
00:11:32,404 --> 00:11:34,694
Butters, you seem to be
somewhat obsessed with wieners.
265
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,655
I'm obsessed with wieners?
What about HBO?
266
00:11:37,821 --> 00:11:39,198
This isn't helping us, Butters.
267
00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:41,284
The Sony people might not be
our biggest problem.
268
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,195
[Muffled]
269
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,110
Twitter says they're
introducing a new Elmo doll
270
00:11:44,235 --> 00:11:44,829
this Christmas.
271
00:11:45,307 --> 00:11:46,757
What new Elmo doll?
272
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,916
[Giggles]
Who, me?
273
00:11:49,082 --> 00:11:50,559
Just in time for the holidays,
274
00:11:50,684 --> 00:11:52,514
it's "Stop Touching Me Elmo".
275
00:11:52,639 --> 00:11:53,799
When you press his back,
276
00:11:53,924 --> 00:11:56,467
Elmo puts his hand on your knee
and says fun things.
277
00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:58,948
Have you ever been tickled
on the inside?
278
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,871
I'm lonely.
Are you lonely?
279
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,141
Can I watch you go potty?
280
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:07,708
You wanna kiss the guy
who does Elmo's voice?
281
00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:10,110
Stop touching me, Elmo!
282
00:12:10,235 --> 00:12:12,398
Elmo also helps kids
brush their teeth
283
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:14,110
with his toothpaste dispenser.
284
00:12:14,235 --> 00:12:15,793
More, more, more, ohhh!
285
00:12:16,245 --> 00:12:18,673
Don't miss out on this holiday
season's biggest gift.
286
00:12:18,798 --> 00:12:20,110
Stop Touching Me Elmo.
287
00:12:20,235 --> 00:12:23,409
Available at South park Mall,
starting Black Friday.
288
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,645
Good morning, Joe, Marcus.
289
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:29,101
- Morning, Randy.
- What madness is this?
290
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:31,632
What is it, sir?
291
00:12:32,222 --> 00:12:33,878
A new Elmo doll.
292
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:35,839
They're releasing a new Elmo doll
293
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,882
just in time for Black Friday.
294
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,175
Oh, Christ, no.
295
00:12:39,731 --> 00:12:43,429
You've murdered us,
you soulless monsters.
296
00:12:43,595 --> 00:12:44,824
You've killed us all.
297
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:47,817
[Banging on doors]
298
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,229
Oh, God, they're already lining up.
299
00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:55,110
Elmoooo.
300
00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:56,951
No, they can't line up this soon.
301
00:12:57,076 --> 00:13:00,381
- This is crazy.
- I'll deal with these demons.
302
00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:04,110
If you're here for Black Friday,
303
00:13:04,235 --> 00:13:06,285
the line starts on that side
of the rope.
304
00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,110
This rope right here?
305
00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:09,680
That's the line for Black Friday
306
00:13:09,805 --> 00:13:11,840
so other people can do
normal shopping today.
307
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,280
Oh, okay, thanks.
308
00:13:15,341 --> 00:13:17,110
Elmoooo.
309
00:13:17,235 --> 00:13:19,716
Give me Elmo.
310
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,426
We come seeking your help.
311
00:13:21,793 --> 00:13:23,797
Do you side
with those wanting Xboxes,
312
00:13:24,052 --> 00:13:25,591
or will you join us on Black Friday
313
00:13:25,716 --> 00:13:27,482
and fight for PS4s?
314
00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:30,560
Are you for real?
315
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,110
You know that the PS4
is a better choice.
316
00:13:32,235 --> 00:13:33,438
I mean, come on.
317
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,110
Of course we're going to go
with the PS4.
318
00:13:35,235 --> 00:13:37,321
- They're blacker.
- Then join us.
319
00:13:37,446 --> 00:13:40,236
We need people to help us
be the first 20 inside the mall.
320
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:41,383
Uh, we're just gonna wait
321
00:13:41,508 --> 00:13:43,823
until the PS4s become cheaper
and more available.
322
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,110
- No, you can't do that.
- You can't do that.
323
00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:46,841
Don't you see?
324
00:13:46,966 --> 00:13:48,536
This is about more than Black Friday.
325
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,110
Battle lines are being drawn.
326
00:13:50,235 --> 00:13:51,401
If you wait it out
327
00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:53,440
but everyone else has already
decided to go with Xbox,
328
00:13:53,565 --> 00:13:55,458
then that will become the standard.
329
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:58,421
The PS4 would be like
what Betamax was to VHS.
330
00:13:59,426 --> 00:14:02,008
- What's Betamax?
- Exactly.
331
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,509
What's VHS?
332
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,699
Look, we're just asking people
who want to play on PS4s
333
00:14:07,824 --> 00:14:09,432
to fight for what they believe in.
334
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,643
Sorry, I guess
we just don't care enough.
335
00:14:13,388 --> 00:14:14,574
Come on, Sir Stan.
336
00:14:14,699 --> 00:14:16,939
There must be kids somewhere
who will join us.
337
00:14:22,317 --> 00:14:25,110
Lady McKormick, I was hoping
I could talk to you about Kyle.
338
00:14:25,235 --> 00:14:26,741
[Muffled]
339
00:14:27,235 --> 00:14:29,110
I'm not sure if his heart
is in the right place.
340
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:32,683
If he were to ever switch sides,
341
00:14:33,235 --> 00:14:35,110
it could make Stan's army
problematic for us.
342
00:14:35,235 --> 00:14:37,168
[Muffled]
343
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,267
True, but we can't let Kyle
344
00:14:38,392 --> 00:14:40,171
come in the way
of what's rightfully ours.
345
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:42,110
Let's face it, Lady McKormick,
346
00:14:42,235 --> 00:14:44,674
this is really about you and me
getting Xbox Ones.
347
00:14:44,799 --> 00:14:46,110
The others are simply there
348
00:14:46,235 --> 00:14:47,762
to help us get inside those doors.
349
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:51,015
[Muffled]
350
00:14:51,235 --> 00:14:52,963
You have a strong influence
over the rest of the men,
351
00:14:53,088 --> 00:14:54,110
Lady McKormick.
352
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:56,547
All I'm saying is that
when the time comes,
353
00:14:56,672 --> 00:14:59,110
I might need you
to use that influence
354
00:14:59,235 --> 00:15:01,087
to have Kyle taken care of.
355
00:15:02,092 --> 00:15:03,602
Do we understand each other?
356
00:15:03,927 --> 00:15:05,339
[Muffled]
357
00:15:05,464 --> 00:15:08,866
Hey, you damn kids!
Get the hell out of my yard.
358
00:15:09,032 --> 00:15:11,077
Fuck you, dude.
This is the Garden of Andros.
359
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,694
No, it's my damn garden,
360
00:15:12,819 --> 00:15:14,233
and I'm sick of you kids dressing up
361
00:15:14,358 --> 00:15:16,666
and having talks of betrayal in it.
362
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:17,785
? Buzz, buzz, buzz
363
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:20,127
? Buzz, buzz, buzz
364
00:15:20,692 --> 00:15:22,110
70-inch television.
365
00:15:22,235 --> 00:15:23,638
That would be good.
366
00:15:23,763 --> 00:15:26,025
Ooh, but 80% off a computer.
367
00:15:26,150 --> 00:15:28,344
Maybe I'll be able to snag both.
368
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,929
- Doing all right there, rookie?
- Oh! Yes, sir.
369
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,110
Sorry, didn't mean to scare you.
370
00:15:31,235 --> 00:15:33,110
No, I was just looking
at all these great things
371
00:15:33,235 --> 00:15:34,652
I can't afford.
372
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:39,355
Listen, I know why you took
this part-time job.
373
00:15:40,221 --> 00:15:41,482
Youyou do?
374
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:45,110
I see it in you.
You care about people.
375
00:15:45,698 --> 00:15:47,613
Same reason I do it every year.
376
00:15:48,472 --> 00:15:50,172
You remind me of my son.
377
00:15:50,814 --> 00:15:53,115
He died on Black Friday in '89.
378
00:15:53,539 --> 00:15:55,502
Guess I'm still trying to save him.
379
00:15:56,410 --> 00:15:58,040
Look, I just want to say I...
380
00:15:58,206 --> 00:16:00,685
I really appreciate
what you're doing.
381
00:16:01,097 --> 00:16:04,640
I promised my wife this would be
the last Black Friday I worked.
382
00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:06,941
When I see folks like you,
383
00:16:07,359 --> 00:16:10,110
it makes me hopeful
that people will still be okay.
384
00:16:10,684 --> 00:16:12,763
Yeah, awesome.
385
00:16:12,929 --> 00:16:15,604
Aw, damn it, no lining up
behind the velvet rope.
386
00:16:15,729 --> 00:16:17,792
They just don't listen.
387
00:16:19,127 --> 00:16:20,128
&[Sighs]
388
00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:22,233
Buzz, buzz.
389
00:16:27,644 --> 00:16:29,780
{pub}Cartman's army is getting
bigger every day.
390
00:16:29,946 --> 00:16:32,113
In addition to the Federation
and the Kindergartners,
391
00:16:32,238 --> 00:16:33,956
the Xbox Army now also has the kids
392
00:16:34,081 --> 00:16:35,457
who play Harry Potter, the Jocks,
393
00:16:35,582 --> 00:16:37,113
the Swim Team, and the Glee Club.
394
00:16:37,687 --> 00:16:40,207
Word is that the sixth graders
all prefer Xbox too
395
00:16:40,373 --> 00:16:42,113
and will team up
with Cartman as well.
396
00:16:42,238 --> 00:16:43,514
And who do we have on our side?
397
00:16:43,639 --> 00:16:46,182
Besides us, it's the Book Club
and Janice Pinkerton.
398
00:16:47,128 --> 00:16:50,428
- Did you ask the Vamp Kids?
- They're still undecided.
399
00:16:51,150 --> 00:16:53,471
There has to be a way to get people
on the fence to join our side.
400
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,113
Playstation.
401
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,583
Look, sir Stan, it's probably
time to give this up.
402
00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:01,515
We're just a dying breed, Stan.
403
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,564
Xbox is going to win
this whole thing.
404
00:17:03,730 --> 00:17:07,318
So we're just going to let other kids
decide which game system we all play on?
405
00:17:08,389 --> 00:17:10,154
What would they do
on Game Of Thrones?
406
00:17:11,052 --> 00:17:14,003
What would they do
when things look their darkest?
407
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:21,965
[Moaning]
408
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,752
[Clears throat]
409
00:17:25,238 --> 00:17:26,239
Huh?
410
00:17:27,238 --> 00:17:28,214
[Speaking japanese]
411
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,113
Sorry, to disturb you, sir,
412
00:17:30,238 --> 00:17:32,218
but we thought you should see this.
413
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,238
[Speaking japanese]
414
00:17:39,144 --> 00:17:41,530
"Winter is coming.
415
00:17:42,238 --> 00:17:44,113
Choose side."
416
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:45,815
[Speaking japanese]
417
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:48,113
Just a small town in middle America,
418
00:17:48,238 --> 00:17:50,717
but apparently a war's escalating.
419
00:17:50,842 --> 00:17:53,113
Sir, if this were to become
a news story,
420
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:56,487
and if the first people
inside that mall all got Xboxes,
421
00:17:57,238 --> 00:17:59,161
it clearly looks bad for our image.
422
00:18:01,238 --> 00:18:03,839
[Speaking japanese]
423
00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:09,113
What's going to be the big item
everyone goes for this Black Friday?
424
00:18:09,238 --> 00:18:11,903
It just might be the Playstation 4.
425
00:18:12,028 --> 00:18:16,276
Sony has just announced they're
offering a special Black Friday bundle
426
00:18:16,401 --> 00:18:18,844
called the "Brack Friday Bunduru",
427
00:18:18,969 --> 00:18:20,877
which will include four controllers,
428
00:18:21,002 --> 00:18:23,251
a map of Japan, $100 rebate,
429
00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:26,022
and allow you
to automatically preorder
430
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,980
for Metal Gear Solid 5.
431
00:18:28,238 --> 00:18:31,349
No doubt Sony
has just raised the stakes.
432
00:18:32,714 --> 00:18:34,170
Yes.
Good, Federation Kids.
433
00:18:34,295 --> 00:18:35,794
You're learning to fight
with your hands.
434
00:18:35,919 --> 00:18:37,408
Keep pushing, Kindergartners.
435
00:18:39,729 --> 00:18:42,330
Sir Kyle, I know that Sony's offering
436
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,113
a special Black Friday Bunduru.
437
00:18:44,238 --> 00:18:46,113
You know the Xbox
is still better, right?
438
00:18:46,238 --> 00:18:48,250
Yeah, but why can't Xbox
439
00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:50,383
automatically let you
preorder Metal Gear Solid 5?
440
00:18:50,623 --> 00:18:53,729
Sir Kyle, preorder doesn't
mean shit, okay?
441
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,514
When you preorder a game, you're just
committing to paying for something
442
00:18:56,639 --> 00:18:59,346
that some assholes in California
haven't even finished working on yet.
443
00:18:59,512 --> 00:19:01,113
You know what you get
for preordering a game?
444
00:19:01,238 --> 00:19:02,933
A big dick in your mouth.
445
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:05,102
[All shouting]
446
00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:08,471
All right, listen up.
447
00:19:08,596 --> 00:19:10,350
The mall's no longer allowing people
448
00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:13,402
to line up for Black Friday
until Thanksgiving night.
449
00:19:13,568 --> 00:19:15,113
[All protesting]
450
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:16,951
It's okay.
451
00:19:17,076 --> 00:19:20,113
To hold places in line,
we're handing out wristbands.
452
00:19:20,238 --> 00:19:20,993
[All shouting]
453
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,113
Ahh! Oh, God!
Oh, my God!
454
00:19:23,238 --> 00:19:25,206
Wristbands!
455
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,966
Back! Back all of you!
456
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,113
If that's how you are,
there'll be no wristbands.
457
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:32,421
- Now go!
- Ow!
458
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:33,881
Back away.
459
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,676
I'm getting my son
that Elmo doll, you fuck!
460
00:19:38,238 --> 00:19:39,113
[Groaning]
461
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:40,720
No!
462
00:19:43,801 --> 00:19:48,020
You did good.
The watch is yours now.
463
00:19:48,446 --> 00:19:53,113
No, you can't die.
Everybody really likes you.
464
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,942
This is what we signed up for,
465
00:19:56,384 --> 00:19:57,988
right, my friend?
466
00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:00,113
No, I was lying to you.
467
00:20:00,238 --> 00:20:04,563
I took this job to be at the front of
the line on Black Friday.
468
00:20:05,227 --> 00:20:08,728
Ha. Now you know how serious this is.
469
00:20:10,238 --> 00:20:13,530
Whatever your intentions before,
protect this town.
470
00:20:13,954 --> 00:20:16,396
You are in charge now.
471
00:20:16,989 --> 00:20:18,302
Take this.
472
00:20:20,332 --> 00:20:24,807
Don't let Black Friday be the end.
473
00:20:42,836 --> 00:20:46,619
Get back inside.
We have work to do.
474
00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:55,113
When we started this fight,
475
00:20:55,429 --> 00:20:57,330
it was because we were tired
of Xbox people
476
00:20:57,455 --> 00:20:59,113
telling us Playstation sucked.
477
00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:02,428
Now we're an army of our own.
478
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,238
[All shouting]
479
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:09,018
I can't guarantee you will live,
480
00:21:09,687 --> 00:21:12,188
but I can guarantee
that before this is over
481
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,065
the winner of the console wars
will be decided.
482
00:21:15,231 --> 00:21:17,113
[All shouting]
483
00:21:17,942 --> 00:21:19,778
Our new leader has joined us
484
00:21:19,944 --> 00:21:23,032
to help make sure that system
is the PS4.
485
00:21:23,905 --> 00:21:26,333
All hail the Princess!
486
00:21:30,121 --> 00:21:31,874
The Princess!
487
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:36,545
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com