1 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,221 # I'm goin' down to South Park # 2 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:11,654 # Gonna have myself a time # 3 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,487 # Friendly faces everywhere # 4 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,584 # Humble folks without temptation # 5 00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:16,753 # I'm goin' down to South Park # 6 00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:18,785 # Gonna leave my woes behind # 7 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,521 # Ample parking day or night # 8 00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:22,362 # People spouting, "Howdy neighbor" # 9 00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:25,598 # Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind # 10 00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:28,629 # [muffled] # 11 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:32,074 # Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine # 12 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,646 Hey, everyone, excuse me. 13 00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:42,175 Everybody, can I just have a second of your time, please? 14 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,210 Everyone listen up. 15 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:47,748 Listen, everybody, I, uh- I owe Kyle a big apology, 16 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,261 and I-I want to do it in front of everyone, 17 00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,194 because I was wrong, Kyle. 18 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,492 About what? 19 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,431 I'm afraid that Kyle and I got 20 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,492 into a little disagreement yesterday. 21 00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,504 Yeah, yeah, it was pretty nasty. 22 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:02,735 And, um, I was totally wrong, and you were right, Kyle. 23 00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:04,332 I thought only humans could be gingers. 24 00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,071 Davin here? Davin Miller? 25 00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:07,373 Oh, yeah, there you are. 26 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,107 I owe you an apology too, Davin. 27 00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:10,637 When Kyle said that humans weren't the only species 28 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:11,842 that could have light skin and freckles, 29 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,551 I totally laughed in his face. 30 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,211 But it turns out Kyle was right. 31 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,312 There are other animals that can be ginger as well. 32 00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,686 I didn't believe it. 33 00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:20,520 I guess I didn't want to believe it. 34 00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,618 But this morning I saw a red-haired, light-skinned cow, 35 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,721 and I owe you, Kyle, and you, Davin, my sincerest apologies. 36 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,631 Where did you find a red-haired cow? 37 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:33,229 Oh, would you guys like see it? 38 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,535 There, there it is right there, see? 39 00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,166 A red-headed cow. 40 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,508 [snickering] Whoa! 41 00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:44,640 Look at it! You were right, Kyle. 42 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,309 A ginger cow. 43 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:48,876 I shall never question your keen intellect again. 44 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,747 Wow. That's pretty trippy. 45 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,155 Yeah. Yeah, be sure to get some pictures of it. 46 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:56,183 I'm pretty sure this occurs only rarely in nature. 47 00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:57,490 All right, Cartman, joke's over. 48 00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,655 What-what joke? This is real. 49 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,665 Tell everyone you made the cow look like that. 50 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,792 No, no, you were right, Kyle. I was wrong! 51 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,824 Boy, Eric, I sure do admire your courage 52 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,667 to admit when you've made a mistake. 53 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,604 Thank you, Butters! [snickering] 54 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,301 I got to go show this to my mom. 55 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,638 Let's go get the kindergarteners. 56 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:12,904 They're gonna want to see this too. 57 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,510 Yeah, be sure to show everyone, guys. 58 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,172 It's really amazing. [chuckles] 59 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:18,682 Ah, too good, too, too good. 60 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:21,515 Even the dumbest lie can have big consequences. 61 00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,145 Yes, you're right, Kyle. 62 00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:24,849 I'm sure that that is going to have 63 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,357 Earth-shattering consequences. 64 00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:29,223 [chuckles] 65 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,566 [speaking native language] 66 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:58,479 [man speaking native language] 67 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,959 [both speaking native language] 68 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:24,405 [speaking Japanese] 69 00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:27,441 [grunting, strained speech] 70 00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,586 Your attention, please. 71 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,597 Will Kyle Broflovski report to the principal's office? 72 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:40,996 - Huh? - Kyle Broflovski 73 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,464 to the principal's office, please, mkay? 74 00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:45,992 Ha ha! What'd you do, Kyle? 75 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,900 - Nothing. - Busted! 76 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,345 Thanks for coming, Kyle. 77 00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:56,870 What's going on? 78 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,247 Kyle, these men have apparently come 79 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:01,013 all the way from Israel to speak with me, 80 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,243 but we need a translator. 81 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:05,483 I don't speak Hebrew. 82 00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:08,287 Kyle, please try your best. It seems pretty important. 83 00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:11,693 This boy, mkay, is Jew. 84 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:15,928 Mkay? Jew like you. Okay? 85 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,457 Please... 86 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:21,461 please try... speak to Jew. 87 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:22,700 [sighs] 88 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,299 We're just trying to tell them 89 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,402 that we come on very urgent business. 90 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:30,641 Anything? 91 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,479 He said they come on urgent business. 92 00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:33,950 Oh, what do they need? 93 00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:36,283 Look, we believe that this school has something 94 00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:39,017 which is of the utmost importance to our people. 95 00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:41,286 We wish to see the red cow. 96 00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:44,295 The red-Oh, come on, you can't possibly be here for that. 97 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:46,319 For what? What did he say, Kyle? 98 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,990 Please, you must understand. 99 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,025 The fate of the world is at stake. 100 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:54,004 The coming of a red heifer is the most holy sign 101 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,335 in all of Judaism. 102 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:57,671 It signals the beginning of the end. 103 00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,335 It is not just our religion, 104 00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:01,436 but Islam and Christianity as well. 105 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,845 They all agree on one thing- 106 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:08,683 that the red heifer means the end of times. 107 00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:13,549 You catch any of that, Kyle? 108 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:14,887 It's right over here by the- 109 00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:16,894 - Oh, my holy schmear! 110 00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,692 [speaking native language] 111 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,667 The Muslims, they beat us here. 112 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,033 What's going on, Kyle? 113 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,332 He said the Muslims beat them here. 114 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:27,702 God damn it! 115 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:30,469 Step away. You all know what this means. 116 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,567 Yes. And you know you're about to die. 117 00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,475 Hold on, everybody. This thing isn't even- 118 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,377 - Don't touch it! 119 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:39,383 [overlapping shouting] 120 00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,081 Well, I just ran to the school and told everyone, 121 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,783 "Hey, there's a red-headed cow outside. 122 00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:47,519 You should all see it." Cartman, stop! 123 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,356 You don't know what you're doing. 124 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:50,986 I'm pretty sure that this cow could make ginger cheese, 125 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,394 which is like a Swiss cheese, 126 00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:54,022 except instead of holes, it has freckles. 127 00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:55,794 [snickering] No! 128 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,632 The Muslims and the Christians are calling for a meeting 129 00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,934 to discuss the terms of war. 130 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,064 Very well. 131 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:06,601 Let us meet to discuss how the world as we know it ends. 132 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:14,383 All right, so far, we agree there'll be no automatic rifles, 133 00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,978 no shanks, and no chemical weapons. 134 00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:18,750 If there can be no chemical weapons, 135 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:21,418 then the Christians can use no nuclear weapons. 136 00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:22,619 [all yelling in native language] 137 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,491 Oh, come on, without nuclear weapons, 138 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,793 what kind of final Armageddon is this gonna be? 139 00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:28,127 - Yeah! - That's right! 140 00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,724 Oh, couldn't we agree 141 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:32,066 on non-ballistic nuclear weapons only? 142 00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:34,697 - Yeah, I suppose that's fine. - That makes sense. 143 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,037 Non-ballistic nuclear only. All right. 144 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,633 Now, on to prisoners... 145 00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,871 Are we all agreeing to decapitations? 146 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,176 Of course we are! What do you think this is? 147 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,076 - Yeah, come on! - Come on! 148 00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:47,607 Wait a minute. Wait a minute! 149 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,177 Has anyone noticed something? 150 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:54,187 We are all in a room together, talking. 151 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:58,487 Has it occurred to anyone else that this prophecy, 152 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:01,192 which amazingly is in all three religions, 153 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,698 could actually be meant to bring us together? 154 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:07,796 The prophecy says the red heifer signals the end. 155 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,535 Could it mean the end of war? 156 00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:12,975 If the cow is sacrificed in Israel, 157 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,740 according to the prophecy, 158 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,839 then perhaps it could bring about peace. 159 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:25,545 [helicopter blades whirring] 160 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,081 [cow moos] 161 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,791 [cow moos] 162 00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,862 [cow moos] 163 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,911 [cheers and applause] 164 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,676 After all the years of holy wars and hatred, 165 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:53,843 a possibility for peace in the Middle East. 166 00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:56,752 In the past 48 hours, Jews, Muslims, and Christians 167 00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,757 have met in Israel to sort out their differences. 168 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,087 It may be a rocky road, 169 00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:03,821 but many say the chance for peace is real 170 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:07,059 and all because of a red cow discovered by a young boy 171 00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,588 here in the U.S. 172 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,861 [doorbell rings] We'll be back with more 173 00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:12,870 on these amazing developments after this. 174 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,031 Hey, Kyle, you got a minute? 175 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,041 Yeah. 176 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,043 I've got to tell you something, Kyle. 177 00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:22,171 The red-headed cow... Isn't real. 178 00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:24,238 I made him up. 179 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,944 - No shit. - I totally lied, Kyle. 180 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,543 And when you asked me if I'd lied, 181 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,747 I looked you right in the eye, and I said no. 182 00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:33,086 I owe you an apology, and I mean it. 183 00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:34,989 Well, I-it's okay. There's no denying 184 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,290 it all worked out for the best this time. 185 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,554 No! No, Kyle, you said that it's never for the best. 186 00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:41,826 Remember that? And you're right. 187 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,892 You're right, Kyle! Oh, no. No, no. 188 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:47,029 Cartman, don't you do this. 189 00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:49,232 The Middle East is finally at peace. 190 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,572 But it's not true. Kyle, I'm being serious. 191 00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,634 I really think I have to tell the truth. 192 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:56,010 I don't know how I can live with this. 193 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,174 I don't think I can unless... unless, I don't know, 194 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:01,151 maybe you called your mom a fat skank. 195 00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,914 Maybe if you said that to your mom 196 00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:04,944 and told her that her tits belonged in a morgue, 197 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:07,014 then maybe somehow I could live with this lie. 198 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,151 Dude, go to hell. 199 00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:11,161 You're right. You're right, Kyle. 200 00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:13,823 I should just tell the truth and be done with it. 201 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,332 Wait. 202 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:18,991 Mom. 203 00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,629 Hi, bubie. 204 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:23,106 Mom, there's something I need to tell you. 205 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,632 What is it, Kyle? 206 00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:28,603 You're a fat skank, Mom. 207 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,740 [gasps] Kyle, oh, my gosh! 208 00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,273 What did you just say? 209 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:37,118 You're a fat skank, Mom, and your tits belong in a morgue. 210 00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:39,783 Oh, my God. 211 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:41,689 Ms. Broflovski, are you okay? 212 00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:44,194 Does he always talk to you like that? 213 00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,092 Yeah, come on over here. 214 00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:54,126 I got some more stuff in my locker, Kyle. 215 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,969 How come you're carrying Cartman's stuff? 216 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,838 I just thought it'd be nice. 217 00:09:57,863 --> 00:09:59,672 Kyle's doing all kinds of things for me. 218 00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,372 He finished my homework, gave me the soda from his lunch. 219 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,944 I think he's just really stoked on me 220 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,312 for helping bring peace to the Middle East. 221 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,681 Right, Kyle? Yes, sir. 222 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,151 Oh, it looks like most everyone's here. 223 00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,017 Uh, wasn't there something you wanted to say, Kyle? 224 00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,648 Remember, about the...? Yes. 225 00:10:15,881 --> 00:10:17,656 I love Cartman's farts. 226 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,356 You what? 227 00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:22,992 Yummy, yummy, yummy, I want Cartman's farts in my tummy. 228 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,899 Dude, what the hell are you talking about? 229 00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:27,165 Yummy, yummy, yummy, can I please have 230 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,672 Cartman's farts in my tummy? 231 00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,230 Okay, okay! Jesus. 232 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,902 Lay down on your back, Kyle. 233 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,242 - Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy... - Let's see what I can 234 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,678 muster up here. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy 235 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:37,942 Let's see. Oh...oh! 236 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,313 [farts] 237 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:44,085 Yummy, yummy. Thank you, Cartman. 238 00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:49,993 What...the fuck? 239 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,654 [knock at door] 240 00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,755 Come on in. 241 00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:56,062 Mr. Mackey, can I talk to you? 242 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,034 Sure, Kyle. What's the matter? 243 00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:01,698 If you knew something but couldn't tell anyone, 244 00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,900 what-what would you do? 245 00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:07,240 Well, Kyle living with a lie is never a good thing, mkay? 246 00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,439 C-Could you maybe just tell me? 247 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:13,814 Okay. Okay. 248 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,149 I love having Cartman's farts in my tummy. 249 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,916 I love it. 250 00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:20,014 I love it so, so much. 251 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:24,756 Well, why do you like his farts in your tummy? 252 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,957 Because they taste so yummy. 253 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,364 Well, Kyle, that's kind of odd. 254 00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:33,063 Uh, not sure how to help you with that. 255 00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,730 [clears throat] Mr. Mackey, could I- 256 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,036 Oh, uh, hey, sorry. Am I interrupting? 257 00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,976 Not if you have some delicious farts for me. 258 00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,070 Kyle, are you sure? 259 00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:44,206 Please. 260 00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:45,476 All right. 261 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,207 [farts] 262 00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,345 Yummy, yummy. 263 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:56,089 M...kay. 264 00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:59,392 [cheers and applause] 265 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:05,431 Today begins the new Israel. 266 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:10,430 [bell dings] Today we are all united as one. 267 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,374 Chakam balada. 268 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,435 All: Chakam balada. 269 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,242 Chakam balada! 270 00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:19,112 Now let us celebrate 271 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,880 under one symbol. 272 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:25,480 [bell tolling] 273 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:35,232 [Van Halen's Ain't Talkin' 'bout Love playing] 274 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:41,398 # # 275 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,771 No way, no way! 276 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,174 Epic! 277 00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:48,474 Hello, Israel! 278 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:51,380 # I heard the news, baby # 279 00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:54,145 # All about your disease # 280 00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,483 The party is officially under way. 281 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:59,149 Jews, Christians, and Muslims have united, 282 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,556 ushering in ten years of Van Halen. 283 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:05,251 Out in the crowd, people are celebrating like never before. 284 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,558 # ...To the core # 285 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:10,165 [guitar solo] 286 00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:13,193 # # 287 00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:15,205 # Hey, hey, hey # 288 00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:17,036 # # 289 00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:18,302 # Hey, hey, hey # 290 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:20,469 # # 291 00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:21,910 # Hey, hey, hey # 292 00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,106 # # 293 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,911 No doubt Israel is the happiest, 294 00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,975 rockingest place to be. 295 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,949 - Hey, Kyle. - Hey. 296 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,017 Kyle, there's peace in the Middle East. 297 00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:38,960 They're saying maybe it's going to lead to peace 298 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,292 all over the world. 299 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,094 Everyone's really happy. 300 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,191 You should be too. 301 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,964 I am happy, Stan. I'm thrilled. 302 00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,505 Dude, we've been friends a long time. 303 00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:55,911 Can you just tell me why you like Cartman's farts so much? 304 00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:58,040 [voice breaking] I just do, Stan. 305 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:02,018 You like how they smell, how they taste? 306 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:03,213 Yes. 307 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,585 They're really that good? 308 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:06,214 Yes. 309 00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:08,054 - Should I try them? - No! 310 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,061 [ringtone] Yummy, yummy. Yummy, yummy... 311 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,960 This is Cartman. I have to take it. 312 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:13,986 Hello? 313 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,521 Hey, I was just about to order some dinner. 314 00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:17,898 What sounds better in your mouth tomorrow-Thai or Greek? 315 00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,994 - I don't care. - I care, Kyle. 316 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,266 You should have a say in this. They're your yummy farts. 317 00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:24,570 Should we go with Thai? That's fine. 318 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,608 Kyle, maybe you should get some help. 319 00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:31,979 Please, just leave it alone, Stan. 320 00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:34,314 Everything is as it has to be. 321 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,218 I don't get it, Kenny. 322 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,349 [muffled] Maybe he's, like, mentally ill or something. 323 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,416 Well, whatever it is, we got to figure it out. 324 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,327 I think all those farts are starting to go to Kyle's head. 325 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:51,157 No more. No more. 326 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:53,261 Cartman, no! No more! 327 00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:56,171 [grunting, muttering] 328 00:14:56,195 --> 00:15:01,110 [triumphal music] 329 00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:03,443 [commanding voice] Kyle Broflovski. 330 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:06,916 Huh? Who... Who is that? 331 00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:10,443 Why do you endure all the farts, Kyle? 332 00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:13,116 I-because the world is at peace. 333 00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:14,317 I must endure. 334 00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:16,121 What you are doing 335 00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:19,061 is the most awesome thing ever. 336 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,155 I...I know. 337 00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:24,065 Who else would take such torment? 338 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:27,161 That's-that's kind of what I was thinking. 339 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:29,297 [voice softens] You should, like, shave your head 340 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:31,330 and get all peaceful about it. 341 00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:34,173 Your sacrifice saves the world. 342 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:35,974 Yes. 343 00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:42,952 I endure what I must for the sake of all humanity. 344 00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:50,354 [men chanting] 345 00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:52,988 [chanting continues, drumming] 346 00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:55,999 [Van Halen's Hot for Teacher plays] 347 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:57,022 # # 348 00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:58,501 # Whoa! # 349 00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:01,971 # # 350 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,996 # Oh, yeah # 351 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,407 # T-t-teacher, stop that screamin' # 352 00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,708 # Teacher, don't you see? # 353 00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,577 What can this reporter say 354 00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:13,583 except that Israel freakin' rocks? 355 00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:16,051 Things just keep getting better here, Tom. 356 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,679 And in a few days, they'll be honoring 357 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:21,157 the little boy who discovered the red cow here onstage, 358 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,558 and things are gonna go off! 359 00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:26,062 You gonna come with me to Israel, Kyle? 360 00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,462 [farting] Yes. Yes, I will. 361 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,056 Huh? You coming? [farting] 362 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:30,431 Yes, whatever you want. 363 00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,060 Okay, I want the whole world to see 364 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,195 how much you love my farts. 365 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:35,102 Plane leaves tomorrow. 366 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,534 Kyle, don't do this. 367 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,543 Don't eat Cartman's farts in front of the whole world. 368 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,567 Just stop, please. 369 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,308 It's okay. Everyone, it's okay. 370 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,612 Perhaps one day you will all understand. 371 00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:51,178 What I do, I do because I care about each and every one of you. 372 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:57,785 Well, now he just sounds like a self-righteous asshole. 373 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,562 - Hey, Kyle. - Hello, Stan. 374 00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:05,227 Um, dude, we need to talk. 375 00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:06,565 This has to stop. 376 00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:09,198 There are greater things at work than what you understand. 377 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:11,572 If you want to suck farts, Kyle, that's fine. Go ahead. 378 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:14,339 But you can't suck farts and be a dick about it. 379 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,141 I'm actually the complete opposite. 380 00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,238 All of a sudden, you seem to think 381 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,249 you're above everyone else. I'm not better. 382 00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:20,750 I'm just doing what needs to be done 383 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,081 to make the world a better place. 384 00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,246 See? You sound like a dick. 385 00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,653 I happen to be the one person 386 00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,782 who's putting everyone else's needs before their own. 387 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,554 Dick. That's a dick talking. 388 00:17:29,581 --> 00:17:31,288 You've had too much of Cartman's farts. 389 00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:32,556 You got sulfur poisoning, and now you're a dick. 390 00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:33,585 All you need to know 391 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,792 is I'm way awesomer than you think, okay? 392 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,467 I don't think Kyle really loves Cartman's farts. 393 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,403 There's something else going on. 394 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:43,668 [muffled] Really? Like what? 395 00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:45,106 This all started with stupid peace 396 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,404 in the Middle East, Kenny. 397 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:47,809 For some reason, it's making Kyle crazy. 398 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,642 We've got to get to the bottom of this. 399 00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:54,779 [end rock chords] 400 00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,445 [cheers and applause] 401 00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:59,149 And now let us honor the little boy 402 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,782 who helped make all his happen- 403 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:04,693 Eric Cartman and his best friend, Fart Boy. 404 00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:07,788 [guitar chords play] 405 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,800 # # 406 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,301 Thank you, everyone. 407 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:14,304 It's my honor to have been a part of this miracle. 408 00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:16,306 Isn't that right, Fart Boy? 409 00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:18,433 Could I please have one of your piping-hot farts 410 00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:19,465 in my mouth? 411 00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:21,569 Are you sure, Fart Boy? 412 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,171 I've had a lot of strange food on this trip. 413 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,740 Yummy, yummy. I want your farts in my tummy. 414 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,150 Excuse me. I'm sorry, everyone. 415 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,812 But apparently there's some breaking news 416 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,652 in the United States. 417 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,659 We're in Colorado where the red cow was discovered, 418 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,820 and apparently two boys have shocking news 419 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,228 that might change everything. 420 00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:42,823 Yes, there's something that you all need to know, 421 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,630 the truth about the red cow. 422 00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:47,432 We have all been- [cell phone ringing] 423 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,564 Sorry. Hang on. 424 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,336 [cell phone beeps] Hello? 425 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,434 Dude, do not do this. 426 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:54,671 No, dude, you don't understand. 427 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,475 Cartman hasn't been telling the truth. 428 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:57,674 Yes, I know that! 429 00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,650 Why do you think I've been putting up with his farts? 430 00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:06,189 Oh... 431 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,555 Oh, what? 432 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,560 I know Cartman made it all up, okay? 433 00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,892 I also know that nothing is more important for humanity 434 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,363 than peace in the Middle East. 435 00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:15,558 I'm okay with this, Stan. 436 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,464 Well, I'm not okay with it, 437 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,332 'cause it's turned you into a dick, Kyle. 438 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,497 I'm not a dick! I'm like Gandhi. 439 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,234 You know, I don't think when Gandhi starved himself, 440 00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:24,764 he was all, "Dude, look how fucking awesome I am 441 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:27,276 for starving. Check me out!" 442 00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,939 Okay, okay. Stan, you're right. 443 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,513 Maybe I let being a martyr go to my head. 444 00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:34,415 Just please, let me stay on this path, 445 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:36,885 and I'll try to be cool about it. 446 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,820 Okay? I'm sorry. 447 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,256 You should apologize to Kenny too. 448 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,884 [distantly] I'm sorry, Kenny. 449 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,485 [muffled] That's okay, Kyle! 450 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:47,463 What is the new information? 451 00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:53,229 The red cow... 452 00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:54,896 I saw it too. 453 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,498 It came down from the sky in a flash of light. 454 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,906 It was a miracle. 455 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:02,936 - Hooray! - Oh, no, it was a miracle? 456 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,574 Then it's not true. 457 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,550 The prophecy is not true. 458 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,814 [all groaning] 459 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:11,752 Wait. I thought we were all here 460 00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:15,384 because of the prophecy of a miraculous red cow. 461 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,917 No, the prophecy is that one day a fat child 462 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:21,591 with a small penis would decorate a cow to look ginger, 463 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:25,329 not that one would miraculously just fall from the sky. 464 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,667 I knew this was all too good to be true. 465 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:31,266 We are associating with these heathens for no reason! 466 00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:32,673 Small penis? 467 00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,268 The party's over. 468 00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,607 Muslims, Jews, and Christians 469 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,443 are back at each other's throats, 470 00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:41,542 and Israel is once again a place of conflict and turmoil. 471 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,883 Please, you have to listen to me! 472 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,014 The prophecy actually did come true! 473 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,782 - No, it didn't. - Yes, it did! 474 00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:51,021 The prophecy was that a fat boy with a small penis 475 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,026 would one day decorate a cow to look ginger. 476 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,859 We should have known a prophecy like this 477 00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:59,732 was too impossible to ever come to be. 478 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,738 But that is what happened. It is! 479 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,467 Tell them, Cartman. 480 00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,031 No, Kyle, you were right. 481 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,575 I see now that little lies can cause huge problems. 482 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,342 - But it's the truth! - No, it's not, Kyle. 483 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,316 I have a huge dick. 484 00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:15,011 Sorry, boys, but we got to get to a fight. 485 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,613 There's a rumble at the Wailing Wall. 486 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,950 So it was all for nothing. 487 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:25,427 The whole time I was eating farts for nothing. 488 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,656 Cheer up, Kyle. 489 00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:27,823 I'm sure this isn't the first time someone 490 00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:29,423 who thought they were suffering for humanity 491 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,491 was actually just sucking farts. 492 00:21:31,523 --> 00:21:33,503 Hey, how about we get a little dessert, 493 00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:35,368 help cheer you up? 494 00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:37,874 [farts]