1 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,221 # I'm goin' down to South Park # 2 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:11,654 # Gonna have myself a time # 3 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,487 # Friendly faces everywhere # 4 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,584 # Humble folks without temptation # 5 00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:16,753 # I'm goin' down to South Park # 6 00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:18,785 # Gonna leave my woes behind # 7 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,521 # Ample parking day or night # 8 00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:22,362 # People spouting, "Howdy neighbor" # 9 00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:25,598 # Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind # 10 00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:28,629 # [muffled] # 11 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:32,074 # Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine # 12 00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,249 Students, I would love to introduce you all 13 00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,252 to the future, mkay? 14 00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:43,311 Starting today, our school 15 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:47,291 will be operating entirely on Intellilink. 16 00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:49,293 Now, whenever you need to see the school nurse 17 00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:52,353 or talk to me, your counselor, you can simply sign up 18 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,456 using this simple integrated portal. 19 00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:57,432 Mkay. 20 00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:02,300 You can use a computer or any of the Intellilink panels 21 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:04,433 which are located throughout the school. 22 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,410 Let's say you're in the cafeteria, mkay? 23 00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:09,107 And you start coughing up blood and need to see the nurse. 24 00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:11,445 You just click on "school clinic." 25 00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,712 Mkay? "See nurse." 26 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,152 Mkay? "Respiration problems." 27 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,123 # All night long # 28 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,819 Okay, I must be in the wrong menu, mkay? 29 00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:25,091 You can see you can control the sound system as well, mkay? 30 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,098 It's all integrated and smartlinked, 31 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,690 and this is a great idea, mkay? 32 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:31,565 Let's look at the message board. "Message board." 33 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,298 "Message board." 34 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:35,306 Here you can easily write messages to each other 35 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,740 or to the faculty, mkay? For instance, here we go. 36 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,574 Here's a message from Kyle's little brother, Ike Broflovski. 37 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,844 Mkay, little Ike says, "My brother is a homo." 38 00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:46,544 [laughing] 39 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,678 Ike made a little drawing of his brother too. 40 00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:50,654 Drew a nice picture with a nice bird 41 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,657 hanging off Kyle's forehead, mkay? 42 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,886 That's nice. [laughing] 43 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,150 That's a nice crane, 44 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,287 nice whooping crane coming off Kyle's head there. 45 00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,229 That's not a crane. It's a dick and balls. 46 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,789 [snickering] 47 00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:07,194 Mom, Ike did it again. 48 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:08,570 I don't know what's going on with him, 49 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,336 but it's like he hates me. 50 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:13,276 Oh, Kyle, your little brother is getting older. 51 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,676 He's not a baby anymore. 52 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,476 I know, but he posted a message of me 53 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,176 with a schlong on my head. 54 00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,274 It's natural, bubie. 55 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,340 Part of getting older 56 00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:23,354 is finding ways to assert your independence, you know. 57 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:24,855 Why don't you go and try to talk to him? 58 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,880 You can win him over again. 59 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,890 Hey, Ike. How's it going? 60 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:37,265 Get out of my room, Kyle. I'm on my computer. 61 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,530 I just wanted to see 62 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,299 if maybe you want to do finger paints with me? 63 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,772 Do I look like I want to do fucking finger paints? 64 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:45,332 Look at the fucking zits on my face. 65 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,842 Ike, I just want us to be friends again. 66 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:51,178 Then stop harassing me, bro. 67 00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,445 You don't know what it's like to be a baby going through puberty. 68 00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:54,918 I don't know whether to watch Yo Gabba Gabba! 69 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,854 Or go out and tame some strange! 70 00:02:57,877 --> 00:03:01,620 Yeah, let's watch Yo Gabba Gabba! like old times. 71 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,650 # Come on, let's dance # 72 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,492 # Go, go, go, Toodee # 73 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,395 # Go, go, go, Toodee # 74 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,491 Come on, let's dance! 75 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,263 # Brobee, go, go # 76 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:12,793 Dancey dance is my favorite. 77 00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:15,635 It always has been. See? This is nice. 78 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:17,471 # Go, go, go, Foofa # 79 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,238 # Come on, Foofa # 80 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,302 # Come on, let's dance # 81 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,905 Who would you rather fuck, Foofa or Toodee? 82 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,577 - What? - I want to fuck Foofa. 83 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,677 - # Come on # - # Come on, let's dance # 84 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,278 I wouldn't want to fuck Toodee. 85 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,880 She's a dyke. You can tell. 86 00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:34,551 But Foofa, man-I bet she's got some sweet strange. 87 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,822 # Go, go, do the Plex, go, go # 88 00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:39,557 [mouth full] I don't even know what the fuck Muno is. 89 00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:40,963 Ike, is that chewing tobacco? 90 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:42,967 What, you gonna fucking narc and tell Mom? 91 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,696 No, I just don't think it's healthy. 92 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,465 That's 'cause you don't understand shit! 93 00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:48,267 I knew this was a bad idea! 94 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:51,468 I'm gonna go watch Yo Gabba Gabba! in my roomsies. 95 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,842 [knock at door] Come in, mkay. 96 00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:57,313 Mr. Mackey, can I talk to you? 97 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,317 Mkay, have you set up a counseling appointment 98 00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,410 on Intellilink? No. 99 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:02,977 Okay, that's fine. That's fine. 100 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,250 We can use Intellilink to see what's available. 101 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,622 Let's see. "Counseling request." 102 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,320 "Students." 103 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:10,726 "Make appointment." 104 00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:13,987 Mkay. Oh, whoops. 105 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,966 Okay, "students." "Make..." 106 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,333 Oh, here we go. "Make appointment." 107 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,895 Mkay, here we go. 108 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,873 Mkay, what do you need counseling with? 109 00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:24,465 It's my little brother. 110 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:25,976 He's really changing, and I feel like- 111 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,275 - Mkay, I'll click on "family issues." 112 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:29,871 What time did you want counseling? 113 00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:32,473 - Right now. - Mkay. 114 00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:35,509 And what is your brother's Intelligrated smart name? 115 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:36,815 I don't know. 116 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,948 All right, I can do a lookup for the name. 117 00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:40,480 "Go back." 118 00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:41,787 "Main menu." 119 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,418 [The Heat is On plays] Oh, damn it! 120 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,951 - # Oh, oh, oh # - Okay, now back. "Set"- 121 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,793 - # Oh, oh, oh # - No, "set appointment." 122 00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,355 - # Tell me can you feel it # - Okay. "Speakers off." 123 00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:51,028 Mkay, uh...mkay, what is your smart name, Kyle? 124 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,798 - # Tell me can you feel it # - What? 125 00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:55,328 Sorry, Kyle, we're gonna need to maybe go somewhere else. 126 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,069 Let's find an Intellilink panel somewhere. 127 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,336 Okay, let's see, "lights," "mood," 128 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,675 "start counseling timer." 129 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:03,840 Okay, there we go. 130 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,508 Okay, we got it. 131 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:07,484 Okay, now, Kyle, you have some concerns 132 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,953 about your little brother? 133 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,616 He's just changing a lot. 134 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,921 He walks around angry, telling me I'm stupid, 135 00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,858 and all he talks about is sex. 136 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,590 Well, it sounds like he's hitting puberty. 137 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:20,598 Yeah, he just seems so young. 138 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,361 Well, your brother is Canadian. 139 00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,868 Perhaps Canadian puberty is a little different. 140 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,531 Why don't you educate yourself about Canadian puberty, 141 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,062 and it can be something you and your brother 142 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:30,836 can actually do together, mkay? 143 00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:33,036 [water splashes] 144 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,807 You know, this is the first time I've been able to do counseling 145 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,007 and go to the bathroom at the same time. 146 00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:39,107 Intellilink is amazing. 147 00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:49,390 Hello, young people, 148 00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:51,895 and welcome to the most fascinating time of your life. 149 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,761 You have braved the trials of childhood, 150 00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:56,062 and now you are reaching Canadian puberty. 151 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,729 By now, you've probably noticed some changes in your body. 152 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:02,137 For instance, when you fart, your dick gets hard. 153 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,807 Other physical changes are happening to your body as well. 154 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,906 If you're a boy, you may notice that your testicles ache. 155 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,473 Or if you're a girl, you may notice 156 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,610 a tingling sensation in your strange. 157 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,484 This is stupid, bro. I already know all this. 158 00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,717 Let's just give it a chance, Ike. 159 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,089 Going through Canadian puberty, 160 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,720 you may notice that your voice is starting to change as well. 161 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,889 You're saying things like, "Hey, buddy," and, "Hey, guy," 162 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,795 because now that you're older, you're discovering 163 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:30,096 that someone who was once your buddy is now your guy. 164 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,602 And someone who you used to call "guy" 165 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:33,399 is quickly becoming your friend. 166 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,738 But now let's discuss how a man and woman make love. 167 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:39,039 First, a man and a woman fall in love. 168 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,841 Then the man farts on the woman's strange... 169 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,438 filling the woman's strange with air 170 00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:45,608 so that the woman can queef in the man's face, 171 00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:47,447 and a baby is born. 172 00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:50,454 The entire process can take up to six months- 173 00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:52,149 It's what? 174 00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,920 That's not how babies are born? 175 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,984 What's semen? 176 00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:00,930 Then why did my wife queef in my face? 177 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,557 She said it was to- 178 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,192 Then why would sh- 179 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,131 I'm going to get to the bottom of this. 180 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:09,106 Make me look like an idiot, will you? 181 00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:11,130 Hey, you told me you queefed in my face 182 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,734 because that's how babies are born. 183 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,745 - I was being sarcastic. - Being sarcastic? 184 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,145 I just told a million Canadian teenagers that's how it's done. 185 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,774 I was angry because you never listen to me 186 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:21,046 because I wanted you to go with me to therapy and you never go. 187 00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:23,576 Fine! You want to go with you to therapy? Fine! 188 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,781 Totally embarrassing and degrading. 189 00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:25,846 She queefed right in my face. 190 00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:27,653 Well, maybe you should spend less time at work 191 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,785 making public-health films and more time at home. 192 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:32,160 What the fuck is going on? 193 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,859 You're fucking stupid, Kyle. 194 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,105 [All Night Long plays] 195 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:45,633 # # 196 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,008 I don't know what else to do, dude! 197 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,637 No matter what I try, me and Ike 198 00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,204 just seem to drift further apart! 199 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:52,182 He doesn't ever want to play with you anymore? 200 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,014 He doesn't even want me near him! 201 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,678 - # Oh, oh, oh # - That sucks, dude! 202 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,745 - What? - I said, "That sucks, dude!" 203 00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,552 - Oh, thanks. - # We're gonna have a party # 204 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,058 [computer beeping] 205 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,184 # All ni-# 206 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,126 Okay, there we go. 207 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,652 That's got the speakers off. 208 00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,722 Now, what was it you trying to do, Kyle? 209 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:09,198 I was trying to make an appointment 210 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,532 to see the principal about getting excused on Friday 211 00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,696 so I can take my brother to see Yo Gabba Gabba! Live! 212 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:16,673 Mr. Mackey, can he just go talk to the principal? 213 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:17,868 No, this is gonna work. 214 00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:18,967 I called Intellilink, 215 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,137 and they said they were sending over an engineer. 216 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,272 [knock at door] Is this classroom 7? 217 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,278 - Yes. - My name's Cody. 218 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,711 I'm your smartnician. 219 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,548 You're having some Intelliproblems 220 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:29,917 with your astute links? 221 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:31,285 Yeah, a student's trying to make an appointment 222 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,115 to see the principal, mkay? 223 00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:34,624 Uh-huh, well, here's the problem. 224 00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,752 Your smart names aren't Intelligrated. 225 00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:38,762 - Oh, I see. - If you want to have 226 00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,661 those Intelligrated with Easylink, 227 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,724 you might want to upgrade your system to the silver package. 228 00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:46,066 I needed the silver package? Mkay, mkay. 229 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,230 Can we do that? 230 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,833 Let me call my supervisor on the Intelliphone. 231 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,604 [imitating motors whirring] 232 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:53,838 [imitating tires skidding, crash] 233 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,312 [knock at door] Hey, Ike. 234 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,779 Get out of my room, Kyle. I'm playing trucks! 235 00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:02,649 Ike, I'm sorry, but I couldn't get us out of school Friday. 236 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,177 I can't take you to Yo Gabba Gabba! Live! 237 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,588 You promised. 238 00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,182 I couldn't get in to see the principal, Ike. 239 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,319 What am I supposed to do, go see it myself? 240 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,757 I'm a little baby. Who's gonna hold my fucking hand? 241 00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:14,765 You don't give a shit about how I feel. 242 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,733 - Ike, I do. I just- - You love pushing me around. 243 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,963 Is that what you want to do, Kyle, kick the baby? 244 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:22,097 I'm ready, bro. Come on, Kyle, kick the baby. 245 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,267 Come on, bro, kick the fucking baby. 246 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,299 Let's see you try it, wuss! 247 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,912 # Don't bite people # 248 00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,615 # Don't ever bite people # 249 00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:40,055 Hey, Muno, what should we do now? 250 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,059 Let's play a cool, cool trick. 251 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,287 All right! 252 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:47,230 Who out in the audience has a cool, cool trick to show us? 253 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:50,063 [audience screaming] What's your name, little boy? 254 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:51,830 My name is Ryan. 255 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:55,066 And what is your cool, cool trick, Ryan? 256 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,132 My cool, cool trick is that I can jump in the air. 257 00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,110 - Yay! - Oh! 258 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,338 All right, Ryan. 259 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:04,177 Let's see you jump in the air. 260 00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:07,350 [cheers and applause] Way to go, Ryan! All right! 261 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:10,081 And what's your name, little boy? 262 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,383 Ike Broflovski. 263 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,988 Do you have a cool trick? 264 00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,653 Yeah, for my cool, cool trick, I'm gonna tame Foofa's strange. 265 00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:17,922 Tame a what? 266 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,692 I can tame Foofa's strange, bro. 267 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,791 Uh...all right. 268 00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:27,202 Let's see our friend Ike tame Foofa's strange! 269 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,270 Ike, no, stop! 270 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,138 Oh, I see, you're actually- 271 00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,666 Wait! Oh, my God! What are you doing? 272 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:36,407 No, no, no! What are you doing to Foofa? No! 273 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,411 Now you listen here, little boy. 274 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,380 It is never okay to take off your clothes 275 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:43,284 and grind on another person. 276 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,687 - No, that's wrong! - Don't do it! 277 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:47,691 We're so sorry. Please forgive my little brother. 278 00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:48,987 He's going through puberty. 279 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,824 A little young for that, isn't he? 280 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,023 - That's what I thought. - This is stupid, bro. 281 00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:55,362 Foofa shouldn't be limiting herself to little kids. 282 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:58,130 She's fucking fine, dude. 283 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:01,001 What you did was very traumatic for Foofa. 284 00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:03,029 Isn't that right, Foofa? 285 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:05,702 Foofa? He's right, Plex. 286 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,039 We're getting older. 287 00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,704 I don't want to do the little-kid thing 288 00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:09,838 the rest of my life. 289 00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:11,678 Foofa, what you talking about? 290 00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:14,310 It's time for us to start playing to older people. 291 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,378 Maybe we need to be edgier, have a little sex appeal. 292 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,788 - Foofa, no! - I'm an artist. 293 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:22,816 And if all I ever do is play to kids, then I'll be a joke. 294 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,225 I have to move on. 295 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:31,128 Oh, God, what has this little boy done? 296 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,769 I try not to think about it, Rick. 297 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:37,104 I try to just forget about it and then move on, but I can't. 298 00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,110 I mean, she queefed right in my face. 299 00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:42,373 Have you and your wife seen a therapist together? 300 00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:45,314 Yes, we went, but I just can't erase the memory 301 00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:47,408 of my helpless face being queefed on like that. 302 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,420 Who's to say she won't do it again? 303 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,080 Don't you think this has something to do 304 00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,248 with your new job? 305 00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,280 - What do you mean? - There's more to this, Terry. 306 00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:55,883 A lady never queefs in her lord's face 307 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,394 without some major cause. 308 00:11:57,416 --> 00:11:59,191 You started as the Canadian Minister of Health, 309 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,993 and three months later, your wife queefed in your face. 310 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,090 There's a connection. 311 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:03,293 I took the job to try and make 312 00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:04,892 Canada's health care system better. 313 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,063 What could that have to do with your wife? 314 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,437 Terry, I'm your friend, and I'm not just your friend. 315 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,271 I'm also your buddy. Thanks, guy. 316 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,436 And I'm telling you there's more to this than you think, 317 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,276 and if you want to save your marriage and your face, 318 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:19,010 you need to figure it out quick. 319 00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:22,178 Mr. Mackey, so far, the school has spent 320 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:26,520 $22,000 on the Intellilink system, 321 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,159 and so far, it's been an unmitigated disaster. 322 00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:31,422 Yeah, but, see, the problem is 323 00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,225 not everyone is signed on to it yet. 324 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:36,233 They can't sign on to it, because every time they try, 325 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,030 they make the sprinklers go off. 326 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:41,971 I know that Intellilink has had some hiccups, okay? 327 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,804 But I've hired a new faculty member 328 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,309 whose sole responsibility 329 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,778 will be to oversee the Intellilink system 330 00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:51,077 and make sure it runs smoothly. 331 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,777 I want you all to meet Pat Conners. 332 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:56,218 - Hello, everyone. - Don't hello us, Pat! 333 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:58,313 This system that you're responsible for now 334 00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,379 isn't working out. 335 00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,914 So what the hell are you gonna do about it? 336 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,450 Oh, well, I'm just sort of getting acclimated 337 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,929 to the situation, and- Getting acclimated? 338 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,091 Do you know how much money we wasted on this thing? 339 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,431 How about you take some damn responsibility? 340 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:14,438 Get the hell out of here, Pat! You're fired! Get out! 341 00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:21,435 Well, how the hell are we gonna clean up Pat's mess? 342 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,812 I guess-I don't know. I guess we got no choice, mkay? 343 00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,443 We're just gonna need to upgrade to the Intellilink gold package. 344 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,079 - Oh, no. - It's a $10,000 upgrade, 345 00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:32,350 but it should clean up all of Pat's mistakes. 346 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:36,451 Mr. Mackey, let's be clear. Intellilink was your idea. 347 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,428 You should just admit it was a bad one 348 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,123 and stop being so defensive. 349 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,098 Well, it's good to be a little defensive 350 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,828 around you, Miles, mkay? 351 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:47,201 Let's not forget your wife died of an "accident" 352 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:50,435 while you were "drinking" on a "hike." 353 00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,237 "Mkay"? 354 00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:55,040 - Hey, now listen here- - No, now you listen to me! 355 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:56,876 Intellilink is a great idea, 356 00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:59,246 and we just need the Goddamn gold package! 357 00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:00,875 We are doubling down! 358 00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:03,011 You're watching E! Entertainment News. 359 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:04,077 God knows why. 360 00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,988 She's all grown up, and she wants you to know it. 361 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,390 From kid-show star to sex symbol, 362 00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:12,521 Yo Gabba Gabba's! Foofa is ready to rock. 363 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:15,498 She's been seen out partying, photographed smoking pot, 364 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,400 and now Foofa has announced a raunchy performance 365 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,234 on the MTV Video Music Awards. 366 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,467 Foofa's new manager claims the MTV performance 367 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:25,600 will be one for the record books. 368 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,406 Foofa's got that nice shaved strange 369 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,970 that you just want to get in and tame the second you see it. 370 00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:32,608 The Video Awards are at 8:00 p.m. tomorrow. 371 00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:34,584 Oh, this is so exciting. 372 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,348 Told you it'd go over well. 373 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,251 Excuse me, but Ike has homework 374 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,384 he's supposed to be doing. 375 00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,553 Shut up, Kyle! Just ignore my little brother. 376 00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:47,154 I'm your big brother, Ike! [doorbell rings] 377 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:48,597 Answer the door, twerp! 378 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,335 Can I talk to you? 379 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,634 I'm sorry, but right now- 380 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:56,901 - Foofa! 381 00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:59,068 - There she is! - Hey! 382 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,133 Foofa, what is this 383 00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:02,975 about you going on the MTV Video Awards? 384 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:05,209 I'm done being a kiddie star. 385 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:08,275 Foofa, you don't have to show your strange 386 00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:09,581 to get attention. 387 00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:11,952 You just don't get it 'cause you're a robot, Plex. 388 00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:14,116 All right, you won't listen to us, 389 00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:16,592 but maybe you'll listen to our special guest, 390 00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:18,595 Sinead O'Connor! 391 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:20,460 - Yay. - Rah rah! 392 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,295 [Irish accent] Don't do it, Foofa. 393 00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:25,165 Don't sell out your strange to those corporate bastards. 394 00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,136 Ah, screw off, Sinead O'Connor. 395 00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,604 No one gives a crap about you. 396 00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,937 # Don't show your strange on TV # 397 00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,670 # Don't show your strange # 398 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:34,268 # Your strange is for your husband # 399 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,541 # Not for all the world to see # 400 00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:38,548 # Don't show your strange on TV # 401 00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,311 # I'm looking for a boyfriend # 402 00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,114 # Looking for a boyfriend # 403 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,677 Will you get out of my living room, please? 404 00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,017 [phone rings] 405 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,114 Hello. 406 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:49,183 Have you ever had someone you love queef in your face? 407 00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:50,989 - What? - I'm sorry. 408 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,087 I'm calling everyone in the Canadian health care system 409 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,995 to find out if they're pleased with their health care. 410 00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,728 Is this Ike Broflovski? No, this is his brother. 411 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,493 Your brother receives his medication from us, 412 00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:02,096 and we just want to be sure he's satisfied with the service. 413 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:06,269 Satisfied with- Wait a minute. What medication? 414 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,047 Before this meeting continues, 415 00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:16,610 I should have you be aware that my face has tested positive 416 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,417 for queefy sauce. 417 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,352 I'm sorry, but I don't really care. 418 00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,053 I just want to know what medication 419 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,187 my little brother has been getting from you and why. 420 00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:27,493 People all over the world get their medication from Canada. 421 00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:29,294 Yeah, but something is wrong with my brother, 422 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,493 and it might be your fault. 423 00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:31,557 That's impossible. 424 00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:33,467 The Canadian health care system is completely integrated 425 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,098 and streamlined with Intellilink. 426 00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:38,335 You use Intellilink? Oh, my God! 427 00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:40,173 Will you check his records, please? 428 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,371 Sure, no problem. 429 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,279 Now, what is your brother's Canadian Medicare smart name? 430 00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:46,010 I don't know. 431 00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:47,676 Try Strange Tamer. 432 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:50,585 [keys clacking] Strange...Tamer. 433 00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:53,682 Ah, yep, there it is. 434 00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:55,214 Ah, yes, here we go. 435 00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:57,523 I see your little brother has a constipation problem 436 00:16:57,549 --> 00:17:00,553 and has been taking a daily laxative since last May. 437 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,429 Ah, yes, I'm afraid Intellilink mixed that up, 438 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:03,762 and your brother has been receiving 439 00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:05,530 large doses of hormones that were supposed to go 440 00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,332 to an athlete in the Northeast. 441 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,270 Are you saying that Ike has been given regular doses 442 00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,467 of hormones because of an Intellilink screwup? 443 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:13,443 - Yes, that's right. - That system 444 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,775 is totally screwed up and does nothing but wreak havoc! 445 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:18,509 It's fine! It works fine! Just give it some time! 446 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,380 God, you sound like my wife. 447 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,113 My-my wife. 448 00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:25,645 That must be it. Don't you see, Terry? 449 00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,247 That health care integration system 450 00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,656 has made you defensive and hostile, 451 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,421 and your wife's been putting up with it. 452 00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:34,261 And that's why she queefed in my face. 453 00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:36,266 Excuse me! If my little brother 454 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,268 has been getting some athlete's hormones, 455 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,169 then who has been getting Ike's medication? 456 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:44,265 Tom Brady looking sluggish again today. 457 00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:46,071 Not sure what his problem has been lately. 458 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:48,271 Yeah, definitely not looking as strong and virile 459 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,802 as he has in the past. 460 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:55,547 [farts] Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut hut... 461 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:58,521 Aah! Hike! 462 00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:00,251 Brady steps back to pass. 463 00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:02,316 He's got an open man at the 40-yard line. 464 00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:04,224 And whatever is wrong with Tom Brady 465 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,286 just seems to be getting worse. 466 00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:07,820 Go, Broncos. 467 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:10,857 # Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh # 468 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,264 # Caught up in the action, I've been looking out for you # 469 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,795 # Oh-# [music stops] 470 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:16,863 Okay, there we go. 471 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,575 Your students can buy school lunches now, 472 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,440 but they won't be able to get grades. 473 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:23,174 No! They have to be able to get grades. 474 00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:24,806 Well, what you probably want to do 475 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:26,646 is upgrade to Intellilink platinum. 476 00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:29,175 No! There's no more upgrading, mkay? 477 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:31,245 I just want this to work. 478 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,552 What exactly do you mean by "work"? 479 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:35,650 I just want students to be able to make appointments 480 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:36,819 to see the counselor, 481 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,453 be able to see the school nurse 482 00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:41,124 in the easiest, most streamlined fashion! 483 00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:43,531 Oh, you want the centurion package. 484 00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:45,592 That's where we take all the Intellilink panels 485 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,127 and we rip them off the walls and we burn them. 486 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,663 Then we wipe all the computers of Intellilink software, 487 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,767 and you never deal with us again. 488 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,347 All right, upgrade me to the centurion package 489 00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,609 Right away. 490 00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,748 All right, sir, here's a clipboard you can use 491 00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:09,349 for students to sign up for counseling, 492 00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:12,521 and I want to thank you for choosing Intellilink. 493 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:19,725 The MTV Video Music Awards will be back 494 00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:22,500 with a performance from Yo Gabba Gabba's! Foofa, 495 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,737 singing Pound My Sweet Strange. 496 00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:27,869 Two minutes, Foofa. 497 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,403 Thanks. Oh, my, here we go. 498 00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:32,779 Ike, wait! 499 00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:33,874 Get out of here, dude! 500 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,614 Ike, there's been a mistake. You don't understand. 501 00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:38,383 No, you don't understand, wuss. 502 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,356 Why can't you just let me grow up? 503 00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,222 Why do you keep harassing me? 504 00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:44,659 Because you're my little brother, God damn it, 505 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,721 and even when I'm 50 and you're 45, 506 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,926 you're still gonna be my little brother. 507 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:52,526 All right, y'all, here comes our next big act. 508 00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,765 Ike, I don't care if you want to grow up. 509 00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:57,364 I just want to be by your side while you do it. 510 00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,569 Give it up for the sexiest bitch on Earth. 511 00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:02,408 It's Foofa! [cheers and applause] 512 00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:04,914 Come on, Ike. Ike? 513 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,245 He's right, Foof. 514 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,750 Part of growing up is rebelling, 515 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:10,379 but I'm gonna get older whether I like it or not. 516 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,479 So why push it? 517 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,821 I think I'm just gonna let it happen naturally. 518 00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:17,588 - Yay! - Yay! 519 00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:18,856 Foofa? 520 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,698 [cheers and applause] 521 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:27,863 # Come on, come on # 522 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,531 # Pound my strange # 523 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,768 # Pound it like this, pound it like that # 524 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,615 It was a mistake. 525 00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:39,775 What? 526 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,614 Trying to reform Canada's health care system 527 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,950 and being too stubborn to admit that it wasn't working. 528 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,956 Even when my wife said the system was too complicated, 529 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,616 I wouldn't listen. 530 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:50,559 Oh, Terry, I was just trying to get your attention. 531 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,493 I'm sorry I queefed in your face. 532 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:53,860 I deserved it. 533 00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:55,523 Anyone who thinks streamlining health care 534 00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:57,591 into an integrated computer system would go smoothly 535 00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:00,399 deserves a giant queef in their face. 536 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,336 Thank you, my lady. 537 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,398 So Intellilink is gone, my lord? 538 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,602 Yes, I've upgraded to the gold package. 539 00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,475 Within no time, Canadians everywhere 540 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,309 will be getting their correct medications 541 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,315 and going back to normal. 542 00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:15,910 [Ike laughing] 543 00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,850 - Ike? - Kyle! 544 00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:27,625 It's Dora the Explorer! 545 00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:29,655 Come on, let's climb the mountain. 546 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:30,826 It sure is! 547 00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,494 You want me to watch it with you, Ike? 548 00:21:32,524 --> 00:21:34,026 Yay! 549 00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:35,834 We made it all the way to the top. 550 00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:38,398 Oh, man, I wouldn't mind hitting that. 551 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:42,344 I bet she's got that hot Puerto Rican strange. 552 00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,506 Yeah, I bet she does. 553 00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:45,810 Yay!