1 00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:11,220 I'm going out to South Park gonna have myself a time 2 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,572 Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation 3 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:17,909 I'm goin out to south park gonna leave my woes behind 4 00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:21,246 Ample parking day or night people spouting howdy neighbor 5 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:24,390 I'm heading out to south park to see if i cant unwind 6 00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:27,710 I like girls with big fat titties really big fat titties 7 00:00:27,753 --> 00:00:30,892 So come on out to south park and meet some friends of mine 8 00:00:30,893 --> 00:00:32,120 Episode 10x09 "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" 9 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:41,076 And so, class, that is when Joe Lee countered back to Aniston and said things like- 10 00:00:41,235 --> 00:00:42,810 Oh hello Mr. Mackey. 11 00:00:42,853 --> 00:00:44,873 All the girls go out in the hall please? 12 00:00:44,874 --> 00:00:47,891 I need to speak with the boys of this class, m'kay? 13 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,457 Boys, we have a very serious problem! 14 00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:59,673 I've just come from the men's restroom and somebody went number 2 in the urinal! 15 00:01:01,305 --> 00:01:04,442 What's an urinal? - A wall toilet for peeing in. 16 00:01:04,508 --> 00:01:08,191 And some jokester took a poop in it! Okay? 17 00:01:08,258 --> 00:01:11,141 Now I want whoever did it to come forward right now 18 00:01:11,176 --> 00:01:14,651 and it will be less painful for everybody! M'kay?! 19 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:18,440 Who would take a ddump in a urinal? It's such a s-senseless crime. 20 00:01:18,547 --> 00:01:22,371 Mr. Mackey, I think you might want to entertain that this is some kind of conspiracy. 21 00:01:22,447 --> 00:01:24,950 Just like 9/11. - Oh God, here we go again! 22 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:28,012 Nine-eleven was not a conspiracy, fatass! - Oh really?! 23 00:01:28,077 --> 00:01:31,063 Do you just believe everything you're tolk, Kyle? - Excuse me! 24 00:01:31,126 --> 00:01:32,982 Could we get back to the issue, please?! 25 00:01:33,056 --> 00:01:36,561 You all don't seem to understand how serious this is! 26 00:01:36,635 --> 00:01:38,820 Now who made dookie in the urinal?! 27 00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:43,522 Oh, you think it's funny, huh?! M'kay! M'kay! 28 00:01:43,528 --> 00:01:46,761 You're gonna think it's real funny when the police get here! 29 00:01:47,287 --> 00:01:50,912 I'm sorry, Mr. Mackey, but there just isn't really any evidence to go on. 30 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,960 But there must have been some motive. 31 00:01:52,995 --> 00:01:55,962 Nobody would just dook in the urinal for no reason. 32 00:01:56,025 --> 00:01:59,011 But who would benefit from crapping in the urinal? 33 00:01:59,275 --> 00:02:03,221 Uh this is too big a mystery for me. I think we'd better call in the Hardly Boys. 34 00:02:09,617 --> 00:02:13,580 The Hardly Boys. Two young whippersnappers with a knack for solving mysteries. 35 00:02:13,817 --> 00:02:18,302 The Hardly Boys in: "The Mystery of the Urinal Turd". 36 00:02:19,328 --> 00:02:22,931 So, that's it, Hardly Boys, we've got no leads and nobody admitting to the crime. 37 00:02:23,015 --> 00:02:27,113 That sure is a mystery. - Yeah, it sounds super-hard. 38 00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:30,022 Whoever did it must have been angry with the school. 39 00:02:32,126 --> 00:02:35,012 I think I'm getting a clue. - Really? 40 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:38,063 Yeah, this is totally giving me a clue right now. 41 00:02:39,195 --> 00:02:43,292 I'm starting to get a clue too. - My clue is kind of pointing this way. 42 00:02:44,185 --> 00:02:46,840 Yeah, now I've got a total clue. 43 00:02:46,897 --> 00:02:49,133 I've still got a raging clue. 44 00:02:49,196 --> 00:02:53,873 My clue's pointing over there now! - Oh, let's follow that clue! 45 00:02:59,568 --> 00:03:02,153 Did they find out who crapped in the urinal yet? - Not yet. 46 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,052 They aren't going to find out who did it. 47 00:03:04,106 --> 00:03:07,572 But they'll make up a scapegoat, send him to detention, and make us all believe it. 48 00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:09,380 It'll be 9/11 all over again. 49 00:03:09,418 --> 00:03:13,160 Will you shut up about 9/11! - Kyle, why are you so afraid of the truth?! 50 00:03:13,228 --> 00:03:16,431 Because anybody who thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy is a retard! 51 00:03:16,518 --> 00:03:17,373 Oh really? 52 00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:21,220 Well did you know that over one-fourth of people in America think that 9/11 was a conspiracy? 53 00:03:21,297 --> 00:03:23,720 Are you saying that one-fourth of Americans are retards? 54 00:03:23,777 --> 00:03:26,400 Yes. I'm saying one-fourth of Americans are retards. 55 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,763 Yeah, at least one-fourth. 56 00:03:27,846 --> 00:03:31,993 Let's take a test sample: There's four of us, you're a retard, that's one-fourth. 57 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:35,263 There are soo many people who know the truth, Kyle. Uh Butters! 58 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,470 Hey, fellas! 59 00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:39,440 Butters, do you think 9/11 was just a plot by some angry terrorists 60 00:03:39,446 --> 00:03:41,172 or do you think there was some kind of coverup? 61 00:03:41,268 --> 00:03:44,921 Well, I heard that 9/11 was caused by President Bush. 62 00:03:44,977 --> 00:03:47,341 Aha! Do you see? - Where did you hear that? 63 00:03:47,405 --> 00:03:49,741 From Eric. - I rest my case. 64 00:03:49,826 --> 00:03:52,011 Butters, you don't really believe that, do you? 65 00:03:52,116 --> 00:03:54,343 Well, l-uh, I mean, uu, you never know. 66 00:03:54,377 --> 00:03:56,491 Uh the government does some pretty spooky things. 67 00:03:56,525 --> 00:04:00,102 The government and the corporations headed by the Jews that tear down 9/11 68 00:04:00,188 --> 00:04:02,190 That's right, Butters. - Goddamnit! 69 00:04:02,226 --> 00:04:04,731 You see what happens when you spread this stupid crap, fatass?! 70 00:04:04,798 --> 00:04:05,971 What?! People see the truth?! 71 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,963 Can I go now? - You guys are blind! 72 00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:11,040 I can't believe that everyone here is just buying into what they're told by the media! 73 00:04:11,096 --> 00:04:12,710 I'm gonna go find out the truth. 74 00:04:12,766 --> 00:04:15,643 I'm gonna blow the lid off this whole 9/11 conspiracy once and for all! 75 00:04:15,706 --> 00:04:17,232 Oh no... 76 00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:23,493 It is wrong for me to ask questions? 77 00:04:23,498 --> 00:04:26,861 Is it wrong to seek the truth? 78 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:30,172 I just can't blindly accept their version. 79 00:04:30,175 --> 00:04:33,500 I can't base my logic on proof. 80 00:04:33,516 --> 00:04:36,592 Almost all the evidence points one way. 81 00:04:36,638 --> 00:04:40,403 But I'm like Charlie Sheen and Gloria Estefan. 82 00:04:40,426 --> 00:04:46,561 I need to know what really happened On 9/11-leven-leven-leven-leven. 83 00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:51,073 What really happened On 9/11? 84 00:04:52,357 --> 00:04:55,662 Of course. It's so obvious. 85 00:04:55,697 --> 00:04:58,290 How did we not see it before? 86 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,980 This is my frog he doesn't have a name. 87 00:05:01,037 --> 00:05:05,593 He's a frog not a toad because toads don't ribbit. I think frogs are good pets. 88 00:05:07,735 --> 00:05:12,200 Okay, thank you, Leroy, thanks for sharing your dumb little frog with the class. 89 00:05:12,256 --> 00:05:15,243 Okay, anybody else have anything for Show and Tell? 90 00:05:18,308 --> 00:05:20,502 All right, Eric, you can go next. 91 00:05:23,186 --> 00:05:25,731 For Show and Tell today I have brought... 92 00:05:25,907 --> 00:05:28,581 my shocking Powerpoint report on the truth... 93 00:05:28,738 --> 00:05:30,830 behind the 9/11 attacks! 94 00:05:31,276 --> 00:05:32,810 Oh Christ. 95 00:05:33,088 --> 00:05:37,312 We are told to believe that the fire from the jet fuel melted the steel framing of the towers 96 00:05:37,345 --> 00:05:38,873 which led to their collapse. 97 00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:42,803 But did you know jet fuel doesn't burn at a high enough temperature to melt steel? 98 00:05:43,698 --> 00:05:46,282 We were told the Pentagon was hit by a hijacked plane as well 99 00:05:46,325 --> 00:05:49,252 but now look at this photo of the Pentagon. The hole is not nearly big enough. 100 00:05:49,328 --> 00:05:52,320 And if a plane hit it, where is the rest of the plane? 101 00:05:53,588 --> 00:05:57,402 So now, the inevitable question: if terrorists didn't cause 9/11, who did? 102 00:05:57,537 --> 00:05:59,523 Remember that there are in fact two towers. 103 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,030 Two minus one is one; one one - 11. 104 00:06:02,065 --> 00:06:04,692 Two minus one is one, one one. 105 00:06:04,748 --> 00:06:06,830 and there are nine members on Silverstein's board of directors. 106 00:06:06,836 --> 00:06:09,432 That's nine-one-one. Nine-eleven. 107 00:06:09,455 --> 00:06:13,633 And take 2 - 1 + 9/11 and you get 12 108 00:06:13,696 --> 00:06:17,701 which leads us all to the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks. 109 00:06:18,255 --> 00:06:19,650 Kyle! 110 00:06:20,176 --> 00:06:21,053 Me? 111 00:06:21,106 --> 00:06:22,893 Twelve contains the numbers one and two 112 00:06:22,897 --> 00:06:25,983 just like the toilet yesterday where womebody went number two instead of number one! 113 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:30,602 And one and two with 911 and you get 914! Drop the 4 and it's 91! 114 00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:34,281 Exactly the score Kyle got on his spelling test twelve days after 9/11! 115 00:06:34,337 --> 00:06:36,542 Who has the most to gain from 9/11?! Kyle! 116 00:06:36,598 --> 00:06:39,331 Who was nowhere to be found the morning the towers fell?! Kyle! 117 00:06:39,388 --> 00:06:41,603 Who dropped the deuce in the urinal?! Kyle! 118 00:06:41,806 --> 00:06:45,941 But probably the most damning of all is the evidence seen in this photo of Tower 2! 119 00:06:46,087 --> 00:06:50,741 When I zoomed in I saw what first appeared to be a blur, but when I computer-enhanced it. 120 00:06:52,697 --> 00:06:55,573 You almost got away with it, you sneaky butthole. 121 00:07:02,027 --> 00:07:03,532 Hey Token. 122 00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:08,403 You you gonna watch the game tonight, Butters. 123 00:07:11,086 --> 00:07:15,130 All right, all right, I was not responsible for 9/11! 124 00:07:17,055 --> 00:07:18,582 God-damnit! 125 00:07:21,176 --> 00:07:24,112 Hello bubbe, how was school today? - Terrible. 126 00:07:24,165 --> 00:07:26,642 Oh, come on, school isn't all that bad. 127 00:07:26,675 --> 00:07:29,623 But, everyone thinks I was responsible for 9/11. 128 00:07:29,738 --> 00:07:31,361 Whatwhatwhaaat?! 129 00:07:31,628 --> 00:07:33,382 We have to do something! 130 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:37,242 It is obvious our children are still completely confused about 9/11! 131 00:07:37,308 --> 00:07:41,860 Yes, we need to go over it again in the class- room so they understand what really happened. 132 00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:44,170 Well, what really happened? 133 00:07:44,227 --> 00:07:47,980 There's strong evidence that what we were told isn't the truth. 134 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,620 Oh no, oh brother, oh God. 135 00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:54,703 That's right. Did you know that there were explosions seen at the base of the towers? 136 00:07:54,788 --> 00:07:56,493 Oh no, oh God, that's so retarded. 137 00:07:56,597 --> 00:07:58,540 Look, what-ever you believe 138 00:07:58,558 --> 00:08:01,091 the fact of the matter is somebody... 139 00:08:01,098 --> 00:08:05,112 dropped a dookie in the school urinal and there's still no explanation for that! 140 00:08:05,148 --> 00:08:07,931 Mr. Mackey, there are more important things going on here! 141 00:08:07,937 --> 00:08:09,152 More important?! 142 00:08:09,187 --> 00:08:12,943 You aren't the one, who had to walk into the boys' bathroom, okay. 143 00:08:12,986 --> 00:08:15,661 After having tuh, to wake up early, you know. 144 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:18,283 There's no, no coffee in the teachers' lounge, and then you 145 00:08:18,284 --> 00:08:22,031 you walk into the bathroom just to find a big dook laying there in the urinal! 146 00:08:22,032 --> 00:08:23,827 Like it's laughin' at you! 147 00:08:23,885 --> 00:08:27,521 He's right! The turd could have been put there to cover up 9/11! 148 00:08:27,605 --> 00:08:31,660 No, I'm not saying they're related! - How do we know they're not? 149 00:08:31,966 --> 00:08:35,250 We need to be brave enough to ask questions! 150 00:08:35,318 --> 00:08:37,782 It's obvious that before we go any further 151 00:08:37,788 --> 00:08:41,162 we need to find out who was behind 9/11 once and for all! 152 00:08:41,306 --> 00:08:44,871 Who else could it have been? - This is too big a mystery for me. 153 00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:49,153 I think we'd better call in the Hardly Boys. - Oh no, not the Goddamend- 154 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:53,842 The Hardly Boys. Two young whippersnappers with a knack for solving mysteries. 155 00:08:53,886 --> 00:08:55,282 The Hardly Boys in: 156 00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:58,673 The Case of the World Trade Center Conspiracy. 157 00:08:58,817 --> 00:09:01,293 So that's about the long and short of it, Hardly Boys. 158 00:09:01,327 --> 00:09:04,691 There were two towers that stood right here and they're gone. 159 00:09:04,788 --> 00:09:07,001 And nobody knows who's responsible? 160 00:09:07,076 --> 00:09:09,182 There are theories, but, nobody's certain. 161 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:14,323 Who would benefit most from two buildings disappearing? 162 00:09:14,365 --> 00:09:16,943 I just started getting a clue. - Really? 163 00:09:16,988 --> 00:09:19,800 Yeah, I'm totally getting a clue. 164 00:09:20,275 --> 00:09:24,702 Oh, that's giving me a clue. Yeah, ye-yeah, I've got a raging clue right now. 165 00:09:24,766 --> 00:09:26,723 Mine's pointing to the left. 166 00:09:26,998 --> 00:09:32,003 Oh Frank, seriously, I have such a raging clue right now, I think we'd better follow it. 167 00:09:32,047 --> 00:09:33,560 Okay, let's follow your raging clue. 168 00:09:36,648 --> 00:09:38,333 Godspeed. 169 00:09:54,048 --> 00:09:55,482 Kyle! - Aaaah! 170 00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:56,112 Dude! 171 00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:59,633 Do you mind telling me why CIA guys are coming to my house and questioning me about you? 172 00:09:59,676 --> 00:10:03,352 I don't know, dude. It's like everyone's putting pieces together that aren't there. 173 00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:06,041 Well why did you have to involve me? - It's not my fault. 174 00:10:06,095 --> 00:10:08,142 All right, look, I've been doing a lot of research on the Web 175 00:10:08,158 --> 00:10:11,383 and I found an organization who says they can prove you weren't involved in 9/11. 176 00:10:11,446 --> 00:10:12,843 Really? - Come on. 177 00:10:12,848 --> 00:10:14,702 We'l go out the back so they don't see you. 178 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:20,021 There's just one thing I need to know before we go: you weren't responsible for 9/11, right? 179 00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:23,830 Dude. 180 00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:26,050 That's all I needed. 181 00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:33,462 Now you might all think I've given up finding out who crapped in the urinal. M'kay? 182 00:10:33,568 --> 00:10:36,870 And maybe, maybe you think it's a victimless crime. 183 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:40,933 This, is Mr. Venezuela, the school janitor. Okay? 184 00:10:41,087 --> 00:10:43,440 He's the person... who has to clean up... 185 00:10:43,447 --> 00:10:46,911 when some trickster... drops a dook in the wrong toilet! 186 00:10:46,975 --> 00:10:51,671 Mr. Venezuela makes six bucks an hour at best! Okay? 187 00:10:51,797 --> 00:10:55,182 He's got three kids at home, he's got a car that barely works. 188 00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:58,582 He's gotta clean up puke with sawdust, m'kay. 189 00:10:58,687 --> 00:11:03,232 Then he walks into the boys' room and sees a big meaty chud starin' 'him in the face! 190 00:11:03,276 --> 00:11:06,372 So when you crapped in that urinal, m'kay. 191 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,680 You might as well have just drropped your pants 192 00:11:08,685 --> 00:11:11,683 and laid a turd right on top of Mr. Venezuela's head! 193 00:11:13,395 --> 00:11:16,582 Oh, you think it's funny, huh?! - Mr. Mackey! 194 00:11:16,655 --> 00:11:18,381 We got him. - Huh? 195 00:11:18,457 --> 00:11:20,611 We caught the person that did it. 196 00:11:26,968 --> 00:11:30,903 Hi, we were hoping you can help us. My friend is being blamed for 9/11. 197 00:11:31,295 --> 00:11:33,673 Aw geez. Come on in, kids. 198 00:11:34,078 --> 00:11:37,903 It doesn't surprise me. More and more people are being blamed for 9/11 every day. 199 00:11:38,016 --> 00:11:38,673 They are? 200 00:11:38,718 --> 00:11:42,093 Yeah, it a way of keeping people from seeing the real evidence. 201 00:11:42,188 --> 00:11:45,813 I know it seems crazy, but 9/11 was pulled off by our own government 202 00:11:45,875 --> 00:11:48,510 so they could gain support for attacking the Middle East. 203 00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:51,351 What? No no no. - know it's hard to believe. 204 00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,473 Dude, why would the government attack its own buildings? 205 00:11:53,555 --> 00:11:57,751 It's called the False Flag policy. Make it look like the enemy attacked you. 206 00:11:57,787 --> 00:12:00,881 Get all your citizens riled up and waving American flags. 207 00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:03,830 Then you're free to invade any country you want. 208 00:12:04,727 --> 00:12:06,100 That's retarded. 209 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:10,013 Look into the evidence of 9/11 and you'll see there are a lot of holes in their story. 210 00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:12,973 There's a lot of holes in the Theory of Evolution too, it doesn't mean it's wrong. 211 00:12:13,027 --> 00:12:16,242 You don't understand! The government controls everything. 212 00:12:16,246 --> 00:12:20,212 The media, the corporations, they have the power to do anything they want. 213 00:12:20,218 --> 00:12:24,340 Here, look! Read the labels on these! Go on, read them! 214 00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:26,072 Code 234. 215 00:12:26,155 --> 00:12:29,263 We think they came from a governmentn office. - What is it? 216 00:12:29,326 --> 00:12:31,863 It's Anthrax. - Anthrax?! 217 00:12:31,988 --> 00:12:34,002 Someday we'll use it as evidence against them. 218 00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:36,191 Stan, we can't be seen with this nutjob! 219 00:12:40,558 --> 00:12:43,583 Aw, aw, awww! 220 00:12:45,218 --> 00:12:47,762 Why, Clyde? Why did you do it? 221 00:12:48,715 --> 00:12:50,063 I don't know. 222 00:12:50,357 --> 00:12:52,951 You got a whole school here, Clyde! M'kay? 223 00:12:53,007 --> 00:12:56,013 You got over three hundred people that need to use the boys' room. 224 00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:58,633 Then you decide you're gonna be a comedian, m'kay. 225 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:02,672 And pinch one off in the urinal and leave it layin' there for everyone to have to look at! 226 00:13:04,085 --> 00:13:07,260 Okay okay, you think it's funny, but nobody else does! 227 00:13:07,327 --> 00:13:09,961 They gotta walk in that bathroom and see your rancid dook 228 00:13:09,977 --> 00:13:13,050 propped up against the back of the urinal like a brown rag doll! 229 00:13:14,638 --> 00:13:18,020 Mr. Mackey, Clyde's parents are here. - M'kay, that's good! 230 00:13:18,066 --> 00:13:21,131 Let's see what your mom and dad have to say about your little poopscapade! 231 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,251 Come on in, please. I'm just trying to get your son to explain why 232 00:13:24,256 --> 00:13:26,602 he would drop a dook in the urinal! 233 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,561 Mr. Mackey. 234 00:13:28,636 --> 00:13:30,931 There's something you should know... 235 00:13:36,686 --> 00:13:39,303 Eh-xcuse me, there's been a misunderstanding. 236 00:13:39,356 --> 00:13:41,893 Come on in, Mr. President. 237 00:13:43,686 --> 00:13:46,272 Uh, Mr. President, my name is- - SSHHUUDDUUPP! 238 00:13:46,336 --> 00:13:51,561 You think we don't know your name?! We know everything! We control everything! 239 00:13:51,676 --> 00:13:56,320 We've all worked very hard to keep our involvement in 9/11 a secret! 240 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,862 But you just had to keep digging! 241 00:13:59,515 --> 00:14:00,360 R eally? 242 00:14:00,418 --> 00:14:04,083 You won't get away with it! People know! - People? 243 00:14:04,138 --> 00:14:05,771 You mean sheeple. 244 00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:09,141 We have the majority of them kept in blissful ignorance. 245 00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:12,753 Just one more... leak... to fix. 246 00:14:12,825 --> 00:14:14,651 Wait. What are you doing? 247 00:14:14,665 --> 00:14:17,522 You've been a thorn in our side for too long, I'm afraid. 248 00:14:17,577 --> 00:14:19,841 No! You can't do this! 249 00:14:19,915 --> 00:14:23,953 Please! I'll stop. I'll take down the Web site. I'll sto- 250 00:14:24,258 --> 00:14:26,351 Oh no! Oh no! 251 00:14:26,515 --> 00:14:28,582 Too late. 252 00:14:29,377 --> 00:14:31,120 Jesus Christ! 253 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:37,122 He died like a pig. - Some pigs never learn. 254 00:14:37,915 --> 00:14:39,601 No... way. 255 00:14:39,695 --> 00:14:42,490 He was right. You did cause 9/11. 256 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:45,812 Yes. Quite simple to pull off, really. 257 00:14:45,907 --> 00:14:49,931 All I had to do was have explosives planted in the base of the towers. 258 00:14:50,077 --> 00:14:53,133 Then on 9/11 we pretended like four planes were being hijacked. 259 00:14:53,138 --> 00:14:55,382 When really we just rerouted them to Pennsylvania. 260 00:14:55,385 --> 00:14:58,622 Then flew two military jets into the World Trade Center filled with more explosives 261 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:01,290 then shot down all the witnesses of Flight 93 with an F-15 262 00:15:01,295 --> 00:15:03,811 after blowing up the Pentagon with a Cruise missile. 263 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:09,353 It was only the world's most intricate and flawlessly-executed ever, ever. 264 00:15:11,937 --> 00:15:13,903 Really? - Why?! 265 00:15:14,245 --> 00:15:16,592 Oldest reason in the world. Money. 266 00:15:16,677 --> 00:15:20,651 The towers fell and the American sheeple all waved their flags. 267 00:15:20,748 --> 00:15:26,151 Finally we could invade Iraq and get the oil which made us all richer than before. 268 00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:28,832 Beauutiful money, hahahaha! 269 00:15:29,776 --> 00:15:32,671 Really? - Is the whole government in on this? 270 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,683 We are all-knowing and all-powerful. 271 00:15:36,116 --> 00:15:37,803 Good-bye, boys. 272 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:46,311 Dangit I missed again! - For Christ's sake, Cheney! 273 00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:48,722 Kyle! Run! 274 00:15:49,518 --> 00:15:52,402 Kill them! 275 00:15:54,778 --> 00:15:56,621 Attention students. 276 00:15:56,886 --> 00:16:00,312 Apparently, Clyde could not have been the one who crapped in the urinal. 277 00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:04,352 Because Clyde had a colostomy at age 5. 'Kay? 278 00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:08,611 Now, whoever did this unspeakable act is still at large. 279 00:16:08,655 --> 00:16:11,923 The boys' bathroom is closed until further notice 280 00:16:11,988 --> 00:16:14,930 'cause one of you thought it would be a good idea... 281 00:16:14,986 --> 00:16:17,591 to pull down your pants... m'kay 282 00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:20,233 over your buttcheeks over the urinal... 283 00:16:20,297 --> 00:16:23,701 and squeeze out a chocolate hot dog... m'kay? 284 00:16:25,425 --> 00:16:27,151 Oh you think that's funny, huh?! 285 00:16:27,228 --> 00:16:31,910 Let me assure you, there is nothing funny... about going up to a nice, clean. 286 00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:34,162 Unsuspectin' urinal, 'kay. 287 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:37,293 Droppin' your pants then... turnin' around... 288 00:16:37,456 --> 00:16:39,472 squattin' over that urinal, 'kay. 289 00:16:39,477 --> 00:16:43,110 Maybe... maybe pullin' your buttcheeks apart with your hands, m'kay. 290 00:16:43,368 --> 00:16:46,983 And then layin' out a big fudge dragon for all the world to see. 291 00:16:48,068 --> 00:16:50,172 Oh yeah, that's real funny! 292 00:16:50,615 --> 00:16:55,241 I'm gonna catch this sonofabitch if it's the last thing I do! M'kay?! 293 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:04,193 All right, now we have to switch over to Interbus 65. 294 00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:07,162 We made it dude. We should be home in less than eighteen hours. 295 00:17:07,188 --> 00:17:11,513 Then we'll tell everyone what we saw. - It just... doesn't seem right. 296 00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:15,123 Yeah, our eyes are finally open, dude. It's like waking up for the first time. 297 00:17:15,206 --> 00:17:19,503 Yeah... but doesn't it seem like we got out of the White House pretty easily? 298 00:17:19,577 --> 00:17:22,331 I mean, it seems like it would be pretty hard to escape from the White House 299 00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:24,950 with everyone chasing you and we just kind of... ran out. 300 00:17:25,048 --> 00:17:28,210 Well dude, maybe we're just superbadass. Have you thought of that? 301 00:17:29,428 --> 00:17:30,670 Hey! 302 00:17:32,696 --> 00:17:35,372 Dude. You're alive? 303 00:17:38,837 --> 00:17:40,602 Come back here! 304 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,662 Hey! - Ogh! 305 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,341 No. Please. Pleeease! 306 00:18:01,345 --> 00:18:03,430 Dude! What the hell is going on?! 307 00:18:03,466 --> 00:18:06,030 Don't kill me! I, I just do what they say! 308 00:18:06,075 --> 00:18:10,323 What who said? - I have an family. Please don't kill me! 309 00:18:10,597 --> 00:18:12,513 Dude, we aren't going to kill you. 310 00:18:14,975 --> 00:18:17,883 Oh God! - It isn't safe here, boys. Follow me! 311 00:18:17,916 --> 00:18:21,003 Who the fuck are you?! - There's no time! come on! 312 00:18:28,217 --> 00:18:30,292 Do you mind telling us what the hell is going on? 313 00:18:30,358 --> 00:18:32,280 Who are you? - I'm a detective. 314 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,792 And I'm afraid that you kids have been double-crossed. 315 00:18:34,878 --> 00:18:36,973 You f-figured this thing all out? 316 00:18:37,035 --> 00:18:40,602 Not me. My mystery-solving sons. Come on in, boys. 317 00:18:42,717 --> 00:18:45,552 My boys were researching who went number two in the urinal at your school 318 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,293 when they discovered something odd, which gave them a clue. 319 00:18:48,376 --> 00:18:50,100 Gave us both a clue. 320 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:55,620 That clue led them to a 9/11 conspiracy group party, where they got a lot more clues. 321 00:18:55,696 --> 00:18:58,523 I was getting a clue like every two minutes. 322 00:18:58,588 --> 00:19:02,930 I got such a raging clue that I almost shot clue goo all over Joe. 323 00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:06,101 Those clues pointed out that all the 9/11 conspiracy theories 324 00:19:06,106 --> 00:19:08,330 could be disproven scientifically. 325 00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,570 And that's when Frank got his biggest clue. 326 00:19:10,636 --> 00:19:13,023 It was huuuge. 327 00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:18,171 That all the 9/11 conspiracy websites are run by the government. 328 00:19:18,285 --> 00:19:20,591 The 9/11 conspiracy... 329 00:19:20,655 --> 00:19:23,302 is a government conspiracy. 330 00:19:23,525 --> 00:19:24,782 Aw Jesus... 331 00:19:24,786 --> 00:19:27,602 Why would the government want people to believe they caused 9/11? 332 00:19:27,646 --> 00:19:31,093 For a government to have power, they must appear to have complete control. 333 00:19:31,145 --> 00:19:32,672 What better way to make people fear 334 00:19:32,677 --> 00:19:35,913 them than to convince them they are capable of the most elaborate plan on earth? 335 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,682 That's quite enough, Hardly! 336 00:19:39,207 --> 00:19:41,932 Don't believe what he says, boys. We caused 9/11. 337 00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:46,862 It's all right here in these secret documents, but you'll never get them. 338 00:19:50,837 --> 00:19:54,473 I knew it! You didn't plan 9/11 and you really didn't shoot that guy! 339 00:19:55,146 --> 00:19:58,953 Boys, you don't understand. People need to think we are all-powerful. 340 00:19:59,058 --> 00:20:00,240 That we control the world. 341 00:20:00,246 --> 00:20:04,360 If they know we weren't in charge of 9/11 then we appear to control nothing. 342 00:20:04,468 --> 00:20:06,681 Well why don't you just tell people the truth?! 343 00:20:06,948 --> 00:20:10,220 We do that too. And most people believe the truth. 344 00:20:10,436 --> 00:20:13,140 But one fourth of the population is retarded. 345 00:20:13,207 --> 00:20:17,511 If they wanna believe we control everything with intricate plans, why not let them? 346 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:22,550 Just one thing, Mr. President: How the devil did you know we were all here? 347 00:20:25,736 --> 00:20:29,033 How come you couldn't just go home, dude? That's all we had to do! 348 00:20:29,115 --> 00:20:31,303 Stan! What the fuck?! 349 00:20:31,375 --> 00:20:35,153 It was all planned out! - You knew this whole time? 350 00:20:35,406 --> 00:20:36,381 Why? 351 00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,320 Because it was me. 352 00:20:38,527 --> 00:20:40,943 I'm the one who took a dump in the urinal. 353 00:20:41,345 --> 00:20:41,770 What? 354 00:20:41,775 --> 00:20:43,933 The stalls were full and I didn't wanna miss recess! 355 00:20:43,998 --> 00:20:45,853 I didn't think it would turn into such a big deal! 356 00:20:45,855 --> 00:20:47,482 So you blamed the government?! 357 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:50,053 And the government was more than willing to take the blame 358 00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:53,191 so long as it made them look responsible for 9/11! 359 00:20:53,875 --> 00:20:55,991 Oh man, now everyone's gonna know. 360 00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:59,202 Why did the stupid Hardly Boys have to be so good at solving mysteries? 361 00:20:59,286 --> 00:21:03,871 So wait, wait: Stan took a dump in the urinal and he contacted the conspiracy Web site? 362 00:21:03,875 --> 00:21:06,042 But the conspiracy site was run by the government? 363 00:21:06,077 --> 00:21:06,902 Yuh. 364 00:21:06,938 --> 00:21:08,943 So then, who was responsible for 9/11? 365 00:21:09,008 --> 00:21:10,913 Whattaya mean? A bunch of pissed-off Muslims. 366 00:21:10,916 --> 00:21:12,602 Yeah. What are you, retarded? 367 00:21:15,426 --> 00:21:20,843 Well, it looks like this mystery is solved. It's time for the culprit to finally pay! 368 00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:27,550 When you dook in the urinal, it's bad, m'kay! 369 00:21:27,617 --> 00:21:32,042 How would you feel... if somebody came into your home, m'kay. 370 00:21:32,085 --> 00:21:36,322 Pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face? 371 00:21:37,885 --> 00:21:41,151 Oh you think that's funny, huh?! Yeah, that's real funny! 372 00:21:41,206 --> 00:21:44,703 Transcipt: spscriptorium Sync: John Smith for www.forom