1
00:00:03,342 --> 00:00:06,470
I'm going out to South Park
gonna have myself a time

2
00:00:06,678 --> 00:00:09,806
Friendly faces everywhere
humble folks without temptation

3
00:00:10,015 --> 00:00:13,143
I'm goin out to south park
gonna leave my woes behind

4
00:00:13,352 --> 00:00:16,480
Ample parking day or night
people spouting howdy neighbor

5
00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:19,608
I'm heading out to south park
to see if i cant unwind

6
00:00:19,816 --> 00:00:22,945
I like girls with big fat titties
really big fat titties

7
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:25,020
So come on out to south park
and meet some friends of mine

8
00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:27,320
Episode 10x01
"The Return of Chef"

9
00:00:27,798 --> 00:00:30,040
Previously on South Park...

10
00:00:31,884 --> 00:00:33,575
You guys, you guys!

11
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:36,036
Chef is going away.

12
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,789
Going away?
For how long?

13
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,660
Forever.

14
00:00:40,743 --> 00:00:43,188
I'm sorry boys.

15
00:00:43,771 --> 00:00:47,729
Chef said he's been bored, so he joining a
group called the Super Adventure Club.

16
00:00:47,952 --> 00:00:49,187
Wow!

17
00:00:49,271 --> 00:00:54,596
Chef? What kind of questions do you think
adventuring around the world is gonna answer?!

18
00:00:54,659 --> 00:00:56,048
What's the meaning of life?

19
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,576
Why are we here?

20
00:00:57,826 --> 00:01:00,116
I hope you're making the right choice.

21
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,158
I'm gonna miss him.

22
00:01:02,255 --> 00:01:06,269
I'm gonna miss Chef and
I... and I don't know how to tell him!

23
00:01:06,783 --> 00:01:08,477
Dude, how are we gonna go on?

24
00:01:08,575 --> 00:01:11,113
Chef was our fuh...f-ffriend.

25
00:01:11,565 --> 00:01:13,537
And we will all miss you, Chef,

26
00:01:13,593 --> 00:01:18,245
but we know you must do
what your heart tells you.

27
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,540
Good-bye!

28
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,125
Good-bye, Chef!

29
00:01:23,202 --> 00:01:25,591
Have a great time with
the Super Adventure Club!

30
00:01:25,661 --> 00:01:27,030
Good-bye!

31
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,633
See you later!

32
00:01:37,835 --> 00:01:42,519
And now, Part Two of "Life Without Chef".

33
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:45,917
Draw two card, fatass.

34
00:01:46,278 --> 00:01:48,167
Reverse to you, Jew.

35
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,742
I'll get it.

36
00:01:52,534 --> 00:01:54,242
Hello there, children!

37
00:01:54,298 --> 00:01:56,909
He's back!

38
00:01:59,918 --> 00:02:01,821
Chef! I can't believe you're back!

39
00:02:01,877 --> 00:02:03,349
Well, it's true.

40
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:04,696
But are you back for good?

41
00:02:04,738 --> 00:02:06,043
That's right.

42
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:10,130
Hey eveybody!
Chef's back!

43
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:22,182
Wow! It seems like you had a great time
with the Super Adventure Club, Chef.

44
00:02:22,223 --> 00:02:24,311
They sound like really interesting people.

45
00:02:24,418 --> 00:02:25,145
Yeah!

46
00:02:25,265 --> 00:02:26,609
But now that you're back here

47
00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:30,110
does that mean that you're not
in the Super Adventure Club anymore?

48
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,291
No, no!

49
00:02:31,429 --> 00:02:34,993
So have you decided you can still
belong to the Super Adventure Club

50
00:02:34,994 --> 00:02:37,327
but live here in South Park again?

51
00:02:37,536 --> 00:02:38,575
That's right.

52
00:02:38,612 --> 00:02:41,764
Well, it seems like the Super Adventure Club
was just what you needed, Chef.

53
00:02:41,834 --> 00:02:45,360
You must be feeling very happy that you
found a club to belong to with new friends,

54
00:02:45,361 --> 00:02:47,861
but that you can also live here
in South Park with all your old friends

55
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,920
whom you care for deeply.

56
00:02:50,055 --> 00:02:51,486
Right?
- That's right.

57
00:02:51,597 --> 00:02:52,753
Randy!

58
00:02:55,531 --> 00:02:59,763
Well Chef, you're welcome to stay with
me until you buy another house.

59
00:02:59,822 --> 00:03:01,890
Thank you. Jimbo.

60
00:03:02,322 --> 00:03:05,716
Well, come on everybody. I'm sure Chef would
like a little time to get moved back in.

61
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:09,369
That's right! Thank you.
Good-bye, everybody.

62
00:03:09,591 --> 00:03:14,410
Great to have you back. Bye-bye.
Seeya Chef. See you later. Bye.

63
00:03:14,598 --> 00:03:17,098
Well, I- guess we'll see you
in school tomorrow, Chef.

64
00:03:17,251 --> 00:03:19,196
You bet!
Good-bye.

65
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,752
Children!

66
00:03:22,933 --> 00:03:25,211
Right.
Uh, seeya.

67
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:28,714
Uh, guys?

68
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:32,214
Did Chef seem a little, uh, trippy to you?

69
00:03:35,195 --> 00:03:37,418
Well, look. he said he's happier now.

70
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:38,969
Maybe he just needs to rest up a little.

71
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,798
Yeah. I'm sure whatever that Super
Adventure Club does is pretty tiring.

72
00:03:41,867 --> 00:03:43,992
Yeah, but whatever,
I'm just glad he's back for good.

73
00:03:44,061 --> 00:03:45,284
Yeah, me too.

74
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,132
It's really weird what he said.
I don't know, it kind of confused me.

75
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,507
Oh boy oh boy, I can't wait to
have Chef's lunch food again.

76
00:03:53,576 --> 00:03:56,570
Yeah. I hope he makes his
Salisbury steak with buttered noodles!

77
00:03:56,685 --> 00:03:58,004
You guys, you guys.

78
00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:58,602
What?

79
00:03:58,657 --> 00:04:00,199
Something's wrong with Chef.

80
00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:02,701
He's saying some really weird stuff.

81
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,088
Like what?

82
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:08,010
I think...
I think he wants to have sex with me.

83
00:04:08,343 --> 00:04:08,940
What?!

84
00:04:08,996 --> 00:04:11,204
I gotta... I gotta go.

85
00:04:11,926 --> 00:04:13,107
Weirdo.

86
00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:15,955
Hello there, children!

87
00:04:15,996 --> 00:04:17,007
Hey, Chef!

88
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,800
How's it goin'?
- Good.

89
00:04:18,871 --> 00:04:23,030
Well, how about I meet you boys
after work and we make love?

90
00:04:24,766 --> 00:04:26,296
Excuse me?

91
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:29,949
Come on, children!
You're my sexual fantasy.

92
00:04:30,102 --> 00:04:32,838
Let's all make sweeet love.

93
00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:35,650
Chef?

94
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:36,886
A-are you okay?

95
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:41,323
I want to stick my balls
inside your rectum, Kyle.

96
00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:44,639
Dude, what are you saying?

97
00:04:44,694 --> 00:04:48,515
I'm gonna make love to your asshole, children.

98
00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:52,598
What?!

99
00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:55,858
Hi kids, I'm Detective Jarvis.

100
00:04:55,859 --> 00:05:01,248
I need to ask you all some difficult
questions about your school cafeteria chef.

101
00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:02,679
This doesn't make any sense!

102
00:05:02,734 --> 00:05:09,184
We have some information that all this time
Chef has been and still is a pedophile.

103
00:05:09,337 --> 00:05:10,894
No, he's not.

104
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,545
Uh huh.

105
00:05:12,962 --> 00:05:14,309
No, he's not.

106
00:05:14,406 --> 00:05:16,236
Yeah, yeah he is so.

107
00:05:16,402 --> 00:05:17,777
What's a pedophile?

108
00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:21,041
Now, we need some tesimony
in order to arrest Chef.

109
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:24,685
So I'm gonna use this doll to
ask you kids a few questions.

110
00:05:24,727 --> 00:05:28,546
Did Chef ever touch any of you... here?

111
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:29,705
No!

112
00:05:29,782 --> 00:05:31,665
Okay, did he touch you here?

113
00:05:31,768 --> 00:05:32,986
No!

114
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,556
Did he ever do this?

115
00:05:35,611 --> 00:05:37,764
How about this?

116
00:05:38,014 --> 00:05:40,458
My Uncle Bud did that to me once!

117
00:05:41,181 --> 00:05:44,034
Did Chef ever try one of these on for size?

118
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,326
Goddamnit, Chef isn't like that!

119
00:05:46,368 --> 00:05:48,307
Something funny is going on around here!

120
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:52,159
Young man, will you please pay attention!
This is very important stuff!

121
00:06:03,879 --> 00:06:06,533
Hello there, children!

122
00:06:06,907 --> 00:06:09,684
Chef, the police are asking
questions about you!

123
00:06:10,004 --> 00:06:10,950
Oh really?

124
00:06:10,992 --> 00:06:13,937
Well, let's all go home and make love.

125
00:06:14,075 --> 00:06:16,376
No, Chef, we don't wanna make love to you!

126
00:06:16,515 --> 00:06:19,959
Kenny, how would you like
to sodomize my black ass?

127
00:06:20,084 --> 00:06:21,334
Chef, Chef!

128
00:06:21,404 --> 00:06:24,112
You need to get out of here
before you get arrested, all right?!

129
00:06:24,154 --> 00:06:27,091
I specializes in your asshole, Kyle.

130
00:06:31,410 --> 00:06:35,687
Man, I can't believe all this time,
Chef just wanted us for sex.

131
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:39,608
He didn't want us for sex, fatass!
Something is making him say those things

132
00:06:39,674 --> 00:06:40,465
Like what?

133
00:06:40,549 --> 00:06:42,684
Something must have happened
to Chef while he was gone.

134
00:06:42,743 --> 00:06:46,017
Maybe he hit his head or, or got stuck
in some quantum time vortex.

135
00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:49,072
Well look, he spent the last three
months with that adventurers' club.

136
00:06:49,073 --> 00:06:50,476
Maybe they know what happened to him.

137
00:06:50,524 --> 00:06:52,788
Yeah! I think...

138
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,414
Yeah!
- Yeah!

139
00:06:55,539 --> 00:06:57,442
All right, come on guys!

140
00:07:05,364 --> 00:07:08,503
Hey you guys, you know what
they call a Jewish woman's boobs?

141
00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:10,156
Jewbs.

142
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,106
May I help you?

143
00:07:19,209 --> 00:07:22,306
Ah, hi, can we speak to
the head guy or something?

144
00:07:22,389 --> 00:07:23,868
Right this way.

145
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:31,049
Now, the upper rim of Kilimanjaro should be
quite a trek and so we'll need to have a-

146
00:07:31,104 --> 00:07:32,271
Excuse me, sir.

147
00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:34,605
These boys wanted to speak with you.

148
00:07:34,772 --> 00:07:37,416
Ahh yes, splendid! Good afternoon, lads!

149
00:07:37,466 --> 00:07:40,127
I'm Head Adventurer
William P. Connolly, Esquire!

150
00:07:40,201 --> 00:07:42,131
Welcome, to the Super Adventure Club!

151
00:07:42,201 --> 00:07:44,423
Tally ho!
- Indeed!

152
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,380
Ah, hi. Our friend joined
your club a while back

153
00:07:47,381 --> 00:07:49,735
and now he wants to molest kids.

154
00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:52,444
What?

155
00:07:52,819 --> 00:07:57,311
Well... well yes, of course!
That's what the Super Adventure Club does!

156
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,186
Huh?

157
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,214
We travel the world
and have sex with children!

158
00:08:01,255 --> 00:08:03,422
Yes, what else would we do?

159
00:08:04,062 --> 00:08:06,965
Well, we thought you went exploring
and like, hunting and stuff!

160
00:08:07,006 --> 00:08:08,992
No, no, that's the Adventure Club.

161
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,032
We're the Super Adventure Club!

162
00:08:11,546 --> 00:08:14,763
Next week, we'll be heading to
the outer banks of the Amazon,

163
00:08:14,796 --> 00:08:18,221
where we will make camp and have
sex with children of the Ugani tribe.

164
00:08:18,249 --> 00:08:21,693
Then it's off to the mighty Himalayas,
where we will climb K-2

165
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,665
and molest several
Tibetan children on the east summit.

166
00:08:25,054 --> 00:08:25,839
Dude!

167
00:08:25,941 --> 00:08:27,788
I know, but it gets even better!

168
00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:31,482
From there we will kayak to the
fruitful banks of the Mele River in Africa

169
00:08:31,483 --> 00:08:33,811
where the secret and mysterious Hanimi people

170
00:08:33,812 --> 00:08:37,062
have children who have never
seen a white man's erect penis.

171
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,358
Of course, we're always looking
for kids to have sex with

172
00:08:39,359 --> 00:08:41,137
on the plane rides over to these places.

173
00:08:41,179 --> 00:08:44,690
So how would you all like to
join the Super Adventure Club!

174
00:08:45,357 --> 00:08:46,510
No!

175
00:08:46,704 --> 00:08:47,569
No?

176
00:08:48,037 --> 00:08:49,190
Oh really?

177
00:08:49,426 --> 00:08:51,912
Perhaps I should ask you again?

178
00:08:54,121 --> 00:08:57,339
How would you like to join
the Super Adventure Club?

179
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,755
No!

180
00:09:04,255 --> 00:09:05,894
Dude, what are you doing?!

181
00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:08,002
Oh well, it doesn't work on everybody.

182
00:09:08,099 --> 00:09:09,266
Well, so long then.

183
00:09:09,308 --> 00:09:10,919
Just what the hell is that thing?!

184
00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:12,919
What? What thing?
I don't see anything.

185
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,555
Ha! I knew it!

186
00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:15,447
Knew what?

187
00:09:15,502 --> 00:09:18,186
The reason Chef has been saying
those terrible things about us

188
00:09:18,187 --> 00:09:22,131
is because he's been brainwashed!
By this fruity little club!

189
00:09:25,451 --> 00:09:28,402
Oh, son of a bitch!

190
00:09:31,308 --> 00:09:34,363
Come on, children.
Let's all go home and make love.

191
00:09:34,558 --> 00:09:37,171
You need to see a psychiatrist, Chef.
It's for your own good.

192
00:09:37,255 --> 00:09:39,852
I just like to make love up your butt.

193
00:09:39,921 --> 00:09:41,283
Oh my God!

194
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:43,227
Mr. Chef, is it?

195
00:09:43,435 --> 00:09:44,732
All right, come on.

196
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:50,454
Hello, I'm Dr. Neeland.
What can I do for you today?

197
00:09:50,607 --> 00:09:54,232
Hi, our friend has been brainwashed
by some fruity little club.

198
00:09:55,107 --> 00:09:56,533
Brainwashed?
- Yeah.

199
00:09:56,534 --> 00:09:58,060
He joined the Super Adventure Club

200
00:09:58,061 --> 00:10:00,172
and they convinced him having
sex with children was okay

201
00:10:00,173 --> 00:10:02,270
with a little thing that goes whrrrrrr.

202
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,909
I thought that club was
for hiking and kayaking.

203
00:10:04,923 --> 00:10:08,304
No, that's the Adventure Club.
The Super Adventure Club has sex with children.

204
00:10:08,387 --> 00:10:09,360
Oh.

205
00:10:09,582 --> 00:10:11,153
Oh, that's right, yeah.

206
00:10:11,318 --> 00:10:14,193
Doctor, do you have- children?

207
00:10:14,818 --> 00:10:16,950
Why, yes, I have two young boys.

208
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,495
Have you all been sodomizing your children too?

209
00:10:20,531 --> 00:10:22,448
You say he's never been like this before?

210
00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:24,475
No, Chef has always been super-cool.

211
00:10:24,531 --> 00:10:27,674
I'm gonna make love to the children.

212
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,401
He's pretty brainwashed all right.
Worst case I've ever seen.

213
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:32,457
So what can we do?

214
00:10:32,485 --> 00:10:35,762
I'm afraid there's no simple answer.
When somebody's brainwashed

215
00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:38,415
it can take months, even years,
to reverse the process.

216
00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:42,291
But we don't have years! If Chef keeps
this up, he's gonna go to jail forever!

217
00:10:42,402 --> 00:10:47,356
Tell me, what was Chef's favorite thing to
do before it was having sex with children?

218
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:48,774
Having sex with women.

219
00:10:48,874 --> 00:10:53,765
Then that's it. We'd better get your friend
to the Peppermint Hippo right away.

220
00:10:56,945 --> 00:11:00,053
All right guys, be sure to tip the waitresses,
this is two for one, put your hands together!

221
00:11:00,054 --> 00:11:01,595
This is Moniqua!

222
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,165
Aw, come on, children.
Let's go home.

223
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,919
This isn't working.

224
00:11:08,943 --> 00:11:11,505
Well let's... give it some more time, kids.

225
00:11:12,082 --> 00:11:14,803
Would you like to daaance?
- No thanks.

226
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,554
We're trying to unbrainwash our friend.

227
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:20,867
Daaance? Anybody wanna daaance?

228
00:11:23,742 --> 00:11:24,867
Come on, bitch! Dance!

229
00:11:24,895 --> 00:11:26,173
Up yours, fatty.

230
00:11:26,215 --> 00:11:27,701
Bitch, I'll twist your nuts off!

231
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,684
All right guys, help me feel it out to them,
we got a featured dancer oming out next.

232
00:11:30,685 --> 00:11:34,716
Put your hands together for...
Spantaneous Bootay!

233
00:11:40,709 --> 00:11:43,140
Come on guys, we might as well go.

234
00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:47,916
God-damn!

235
00:11:47,971 --> 00:11:49,138
Chef, we're leaving.

236
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,791
No, no, wait. Let him go.

237
00:11:55,888 --> 00:11:57,902
Come here, chubby.

238
00:12:09,550 --> 00:12:11,578
Wait a minute.

239
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,689
He's remembering.

240
00:12:13,856 --> 00:12:15,819
Children! What have I done?

241
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,788
It's okay Chef.
Go on, remember!

242
00:12:17,802 --> 00:12:19,816
I'm gonna- I'm gonna-

243
00:12:20,191 --> 00:12:22,492
Come on, Chef!
You can do it!

244
00:12:22,538 --> 00:12:25,913
I'm goinna make love to you woman,

245
00:12:25,927 --> 00:12:29,541
'gonna lay you down by the fiyuh!

246
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,495
Yay!

247
00:12:31,648 --> 00:12:34,231
Hey children, everybody!
I'm back!

248
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,546
Great shot, William!
Hit him with another.

249
00:12:42,546 --> 00:12:43,754
Chef!

250
00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:54,571
Tally ho, lads! I must say you're starting
to become quite a thorn in my balls.

251
00:12:54,612 --> 00:12:56,182
Where's Chef?!
What have you done with him?!

252
00:12:56,224 --> 00:12:57,716
He's safe.

253
00:12:58,272 --> 00:13:02,952
He's fasting in the Deprivation Room
and being read the Super Adventure Club manual.

254
00:13:03,188 --> 00:13:05,397
We've got to undo the damage you've done.

255
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,012
Look, if you wanna go around the
world molesting kids, that's totally fine.

256
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:10,290
But why do you need Chef?!

257
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,970
We don't need him, he needs us!

258
00:13:12,998 --> 00:13:16,873
Our club offers hope.
Do you think we go around the world

259
00:13:16,887 --> 00:13:20,621
molesting children just because it
feels really really really really good?!

260
00:13:20,788 --> 00:13:26,233
No! Our club has a message! And a secret
that explains the mysteries of life!

261
00:13:26,316 --> 00:13:27,885
Oh Jesus, here we go.

262
00:13:28,177 --> 00:13:32,922
Very well. I'm now going to tell you
the secret of the Super Adventure Club.

263
00:13:32,977 --> 00:13:33,939
We don't wanna hear it.

264
00:13:33,977 --> 00:13:38,324
You see, the Super Adventure Club was founded
by the greatest explorer of all time

265
00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:40,630
William P. Phinehas!

266
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:44,616
Phinehas climbed the highest peaks,
tamed the mightiest rivers.

267
00:13:44,645 --> 00:13:49,353
But every time he got somewhere, he realized
that other explorers had beat him to it.

268
00:13:49,367 --> 00:13:54,030
Phinehas was depressed, until he realized that
if he couldn't be the first to discover places

269
00:13:54,086 --> 00:13:59,252
he could be the first to have sex with
the native children that inhabited those areas!

270
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,159
Phinehas quickly went down in history books

271
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,791
as the first man to have sex
with the Aborigine children at Uluru.

272
00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:09,130
and the first explorer to bugger all
the underage mountainfolk of Nepal.

273
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,005
But now the most wonderful part.

274
00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:15,533
You see, after having sex with all
those children, Phinehas realized that...

275
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:19,269
molesting all those kids...
had made him immortal.

276
00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:20,833
Immortal.

277
00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:24,653
He discovered that children have
things called marlocks in their bodies.

278
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,903
And when an adult has sex with a child,
the marlocks implode,

279
00:14:27,917 --> 00:14:31,494
feeding the adult receptive cavity with
energy that causes immortality

280
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:33,606
so saith the ruler of Bethos.

281
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:37,711
Phinehas traveled the world,
loving many, many children

282
00:14:37,786 --> 00:14:40,300
and he lived for eternity.

283
00:14:40,411 --> 00:14:44,593
Until he was hit by a train in 1892.

284
00:14:45,147 --> 00:14:47,189
Do you realize how retarded that sounds?

285
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:51,575
Is it any more retarded than the idea of God
sending his son to die for our sins?

286
00:14:51,602 --> 00:14:55,311
Is it any more retarded than Buddha sitting
beneath a tree for twenty years?

287
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:57,977
Yeah, it's way, way more retarded.

288
00:14:58,033 --> 00:15:04,009
Well, now that you know our club secrets,
it appears you ... leave us no choice.

289
00:15:04,509 --> 00:15:07,286
I'm afraid we're going to have to...

290
00:15:07,481 --> 00:15:09,286
ask you to leave.

291
00:15:14,311 --> 00:15:16,102
We're not leaving without Chef.

292
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:20,546
If you choose not to leave, then I'm
afraid we're just going to have to...

293
00:15:20,908 --> 00:15:23,783
call security and make you leave.

294
00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:31,861
You'll be let out by security and it will be
super-embarassing and everyone here will see!

295
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,417
Okay, you know how like, when you want
people to leave but they won't leave,

296
00:15:46,418 --> 00:15:48,015
it's really frustrating?

297
00:15:48,084 --> 00:15:49,992
We're not going anywhere without Chef.

298
00:15:50,091 --> 00:15:52,836
Cool people leave before they've
overstayed their welcome.

299
00:15:54,548 --> 00:15:59,520
You petulent fools!
You just had to push it, didn't you?

300
00:15:59,617 --> 00:16:03,062
You don't realize who you're dealing with here.

301
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,832
Security!

302
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,276
Take these boys to the door.

303
00:16:09,277 --> 00:16:10,693
All right, come on kids.

304
00:16:10,735 --> 00:16:12,013
No! Hey!

305
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:15,811
Haha! Look they're being led
out by security! Haha!

306
00:16:16,283 --> 00:16:19,021
No, you don't understand! They've got
our friend in the Deprivation Room!

307
00:16:19,088 --> 00:16:21,602
This is their house
and they don't want you here.

308
00:16:24,338 --> 00:16:28,655
Sorry, dude, but this fruity little
club isn't taking our friend!

309
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:32,133
And sex with Eskimo children
requires some special skills.

310
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,855
Chef, come on!
- Children!

311
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:35,996
Get out of here!

312
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:39,249
Kenny! Spin Blossom Nut Squash!

313
00:16:39,928 --> 00:16:43,289
Come on, Chef!
- I can't... break these locks.

314
00:16:43,345 --> 00:16:44,775
Here!

315
00:16:46,595 --> 00:16:48,687
Run Chef!

316
00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:50,506
What the-?

317
00:16:50,562 --> 00:16:53,923
Impossible!
I made them leave!

318
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,131
Get outside!

319
00:16:55,201 --> 00:16:57,054
Stop them!

320
00:16:57,609 --> 00:17:00,562
Children! Run!

321
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:04,704
Stop!

322
00:17:05,537 --> 00:17:06,902
We made it!

323
00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:11,621
Don't you remember why you
left South Park in the first place?

324
00:17:13,551 --> 00:17:14,301
Chef, come on!

325
00:17:14,329 --> 00:17:18,622
You sought adventure!
And why do people seek adventure?

326
00:17:18,693 --> 00:17:22,084
Because their lives have become dull and empty!

327
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:25,582
Yeah, he wanted adventure!
Not a bunch of ridiculous bullcrap!

328
00:17:25,637 --> 00:17:27,006
Right Chef?

329
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,631
Chef?

330
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,367
Don't forget all your training, Chef!

331
00:17:33,409 --> 00:17:37,697
Stay with us and your life
will be grand and eternal!

332
00:17:38,548 --> 00:17:41,437
Chef, we love you.

333
00:17:44,725 --> 00:17:46,733
I'm sorry children.

334
00:17:47,003 --> 00:17:49,586
No! Chef, they've filled your head with lies!

335
00:17:49,656 --> 00:17:50,654
Can't you see that?

336
00:17:50,739 --> 00:17:53,199
Get the hell out of here, children!

337
00:17:53,254 --> 00:17:57,921
Yes. Looks like our fruity
little club is safe after all.

338
00:18:03,744 --> 00:18:04,841
Chef!

339
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:12,185
Damnit!

340
00:18:13,588 --> 00:18:14,810
No!

341
00:18:17,892 --> 00:18:19,545
A mountain lion!

342
00:18:21,170 --> 00:18:24,508
We can't lose another member!
Shoot it!

343
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,681
All right, this!

344
00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:30,195
Chef!

345
00:18:31,063 --> 00:18:33,022
A grizzly bear!

346
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,261
Oh my God... They killed Chef.

347
00:18:56,571 --> 00:18:58,196
You bastards.

348
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,532
You bastards!

349
00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:04,685
Pity. He would have made
an excellent child molester.

350
00:19:10,297 --> 00:19:12,945
Maybe, maybe he's still okay.

351
00:19:13,061 --> 00:19:17,408
No, really. They say the last thing
you do before you die is crap your-

352
00:19:19,422 --> 00:19:20,612
Oh never mind.

353
00:19:21,237 --> 00:19:23,945
Come on, let's go.

354
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:48,617
We're all here today because Chef has
been such an important part of our lives.

355
00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:54,319
A lot of us don't agree with the choices
Chef has made in the past few days.

356
00:19:54,418 --> 00:19:59,501
Some of us... feel hurt... and confused
that he seemed to turn his back on us.

357
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,994
But we can't let the events of the last week

358
00:20:02,022 --> 00:20:04,911
take away the memories of
how much Chef made us smile.

359
00:20:05,661 --> 00:20:09,088
I'm gonna remember Chef as the jolly
old guy who always broke into song.

360
00:20:09,449 --> 00:20:13,796
I'm gonna remember Chef...
as the guy who gave us advice to live by.

361
00:20:14,477 --> 00:20:18,218
So you see, we shouldn't
be mad at Chef for leaving us.

362
00:20:18,774 --> 00:20:22,774
We should be mad at that little
fruity club for scrambling his brains.

363
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:25,844
Yeah.

364
00:20:26,135 --> 00:20:27,163
He's right.

365
00:20:30,331 --> 00:20:32,956
And in the end,
I know that somewhere out there...

366
00:20:32,984 --> 00:20:36,617
there's the good part of Chef...
that's still alive in us all.

367
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:44,111
Is it working?
Is it working?!

368
00:20:44,764 --> 00:20:46,250
Yes. We've got a pulse!

369
00:20:46,472 --> 00:20:48,805
Get him in the ICU suit! Hurry!

370
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,161
We have done it!
Good! Raise him up!

371
00:21:03,404 --> 00:21:06,141
Chef, can you hear me?

372
00:21:06,709 --> 00:21:08,435
Say something.

373
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,357
Hello there, children.

374
00:21:11,398 --> 00:21:15,912
How would you like some Salisbury steak?

375
00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:18,157
Yes, go on.

376
00:21:18,198 --> 00:21:24,705
And for dessert, how would you children
like to suck on my chocolate salty balls?

377
00:21:25,177 --> 00:21:28,372
Oh? You mean like a chocolate candy?

378
00:21:28,427 --> 00:21:31,705
No, I mean my balls.

379
00:21:31,773 --> 00:21:35,398
Yes, yes!
Hahahahahahaaa!

380
00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:40,225
Transcipt: spscriptorium
Sync: John Smith