1
00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:06,299
{\an9}♪♪
2
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:10,163
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
3
00:00:10,164 --> 00:00:13,373
Announcer:
It's one for the ladies!
4
00:00:13,374 --> 00:00:20,547
{\an1}♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:20,548 --> 00:00:24,584
{\an1}♪ Headin' down to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
6
00:00:24,585 --> 00:00:27,587
{\an9}♪♪
7
00:00:27,588 --> 00:00:32,194
{\an1}♪ So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
8
00:00:32,195 --> 00:00:34,325
{\an9}♪♪
9
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,627
When I look out
across this room,
10
00:00:36,628 --> 00:00:39,764
I see the backbone
of our community.
11
00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:44,435
The women of this town
need to stand together!
12
00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:46,137
We are here,
and we're proud.
13
00:00:46,138 --> 00:00:48,639
And it is time
to let everyone know
14
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,576
that the women of South Park
should be treated
15
00:00:51,577 --> 00:00:53,845
the same as the men!
16
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,413
Oh! Aaaaah.
[ Farts ]
17
00:00:55,414 --> 00:00:58,082
[ Groaning ]
18
00:00:58,083 --> 00:00:59,417
Oh, God!
19
00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:03,087
[ Farting continues ]
Ohhh, sorry.
20
00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:04,255
[ Retching ]
21
00:01:04,256 --> 00:01:05,823
[ Chuckles ]
Oh-kay.
22
00:01:05,824 --> 00:01:07,758
I'm alright.
[ Farting continues ]
23
00:01:07,759 --> 00:01:10,662
Oh!
24
00:01:10,816 --> 00:01:15,565
For subtitling services, contact:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
25
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:16,768
Hello, boys.
26
00:01:16,769 --> 00:01:19,270
Your mommy has
a bacterial infection
27
00:01:19,271 --> 00:01:20,638
called C. diff.
28
00:01:20,639 --> 00:01:22,173
It's very contagious.
29
00:01:22,174 --> 00:01:24,675
A bacterial infection?
In her stomach?
30
00:01:24,676 --> 00:01:27,745
All of us have trillions
of microscopic critters
31
00:01:27,746 --> 00:01:29,747
that grow on
and inside our bodies,
32
00:01:29,748 --> 00:01:31,149
just like your mom.
33
00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:33,718
There's tiny creatures
which live in your mom's skin,
34
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,686
on her eyelashes,
in her vagina.
35
00:01:35,687 --> 00:01:37,789
But the good bacteria
in your mommy's tummy
36
00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:40,124
are being overrun
by bad bacteria.
37
00:01:40,125 --> 00:01:42,126
We can't use antibiotics
because that will
38
00:01:42,127 --> 00:01:44,495
kill all the good
bacteria, too.
39
00:01:44,496 --> 00:01:46,230
So, what can
you do for her?
40
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:49,100
We need to take
a healthy person's microbiome
41
00:01:49,101 --> 00:01:51,702
and start to grow it
inside your mother.
42
00:01:51,703 --> 00:01:54,071
We do this with
a fecal transplant.
43
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,307
We'll get a donor's feces,
mix it with water,
44
00:01:56,308 --> 00:01:58,376
and put it up
your mom's anus.
45
00:01:58,377 --> 00:01:59,777
Ewwww!
46
00:01:59,778 --> 00:02:01,412
Your mom is tough, kids.
47
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,414
We're gonna do
the very best we can.
48
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,249
Try not to worry.
49
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,219
Ike, if mom lives...
50
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:11,355
we can't let anyone
ever know about this.
51
00:02:11,356 --> 00:02:18,096
{\an9}♪♪
52
00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:19,530
♪ I am shopping
53
00:02:19,531 --> 00:02:20,932
♪ I'm grocery shopping
54
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:24,569
♪ I'm buying food
for the people I love ♪
55
00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:25,770
Sheila?
56
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,271
Oh! Hi, Laura!
57
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:30,608
My goodness, look at you!
I thought you were sick!
58
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:33,778
I was, but I had
an amazing procedure!
59
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,546
No, no, no, Mommy.
No, no, no, no!
60
00:02:35,547 --> 00:02:37,515
I had a fecal transplant.
61
00:02:37,516 --> 00:02:40,585
Oh! God damn it!
You had a what?
62
00:02:40,586 --> 00:02:42,420
A fecal transplant.
63
00:02:42,421 --> 00:02:45,323
It's when they take
the feces of a healthy donor
64
00:02:45,324 --> 00:02:46,958
and place it in your anus.
65
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,060
I feel like
a million dollars!
66
00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:51,963
Sheila, is that you?
I thought you were sick!
67
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:55,066
I was,
but I had a fecal transplant.
68
00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:56,300
Aaaaah!
69
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,602
I'm telling you girls,
70
00:02:57,603 --> 00:02:59,771
it solved every problem
I've ever had!
71
00:02:59,772 --> 00:03:01,773
I've lost weight!
I have more energy!
72
00:03:01,774 --> 00:03:05,676
I even think my arthritis
is clearing up!
73
00:03:05,677 --> 00:03:07,311
Well,
that certainly is...
74
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,613
interesting.
75
00:03:08,614 --> 00:03:10,581
Looking great, Sheila!
76
00:03:10,582 --> 00:03:13,986
Thanks, Janice!
Fecal transplant!
77
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,067
Narrator:
If you're watching this video,
78
00:03:30,068 --> 00:03:32,904
then your mom probably had
a fecal transplant.
79
00:03:32,905 --> 00:03:35,907
And the one question on
your mind is most likely,
80
00:03:35,908 --> 00:03:39,210
"How do I keep my friends
from ripping on me?"
81
00:03:39,211 --> 00:03:42,947
Yes!
People make fun of what
they don't understand.
82
00:03:42,948 --> 00:03:46,617
So, let's learn why your mom
had a fecal transplant.
83
00:03:46,618 --> 00:03:49,720
It was to replace
her microbiome.
84
00:03:49,721 --> 00:03:52,123
Germs, bugs,
thousand of organisms
85
00:03:52,124 --> 00:03:54,058
are all around you
all the time.
86
00:03:54,059 --> 00:03:55,960
That remote control
your holding --
87
00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:57,361
It's teaming with life --
88
00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,631
bacteria and other organisms.
Eugh!
89
00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:02,333
They also live on
your clothes --
90
00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:05,470
Eesh!
Small organisms are everywhere.
91
00:04:05,471 --> 00:04:07,405
Now, scratch your balls.
92
00:04:07,406 --> 00:04:09,373
Go on.
93
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,875
If you don't have balls,
94
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,979
scratch whatever else
might be down there.
95
00:04:15,447 --> 00:04:19,851
Now smell your fingers.
96
00:04:19,852 --> 00:04:22,687
That smell is millions
of living organisms
97
00:04:22,688 --> 00:04:24,455
that you've just scraped
from your crotch
98
00:04:24,456 --> 00:04:27,291
and are now going up
inside your nostrils --
99
00:04:27,292 --> 00:04:29,093
your microbiome.
100
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,561
Ewwwww!
101
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,330
{\an1} Creatures live in your teeth.
102
00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:35,366
They live on your eyelashes,
on your skin.
103
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:38,770
And trillions and trillions
live inside your body.
104
00:04:38,771 --> 00:04:41,139
In fact,
of all the cells in your body
105
00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:43,374
{\an1} only half are human cells.
106
00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:47,678
The other half are all
microscopic organisms!
107
00:04:47,679 --> 00:04:48,980
Aaaaaaah!
108
00:04:48,981 --> 00:04:50,882
[ Classical music plays ]
109
00:04:50,883 --> 00:04:53,551
How is your salmon, Sheila?
Oh, it's amazing.
110
00:04:53,552 --> 00:04:55,453
You know, I could never
eat like this before.
111
00:04:55,454 --> 00:04:58,089
My allergy to shellfish
has literally gone away.
112
00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:00,625
Oh, my gosh.
That's so wonderful!
113
00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:03,728
Oh, [Chuckles]
that reminds me.
114
00:05:03,729 --> 00:05:05,163
So, Sheila,
115
00:05:05,164 --> 00:05:07,498
um, the girls and I
were talking...
116
00:05:07,499 --> 00:05:09,967
Well, you seem so great,
117
00:05:09,968 --> 00:05:13,004
and we thought how nice
it would be for us...
118
00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:16,407
to have a little bit
of your poop.
119
00:05:16,408 --> 00:05:18,609
[ Scoffs ] What?
120
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,645
Well, thing is,
we asked our doctors
121
00:05:20,646 --> 00:05:22,346
about getting
fecal transplants, too,
122
00:05:22,347 --> 00:05:25,650
and they said they only do them
for "medical reasons."
123
00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:27,752
So, we have to
do them on our own.
124
00:05:27,753 --> 00:05:29,487
[ Chuckles nervously ]
Oh, well...
125
00:05:29,488 --> 00:05:32,056
You know, girls, if the doctor
doesn't think it's safe,
126
00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:35,326
you probably shouldn't be doing
DIY transplants.
127
00:05:35,327 --> 00:05:37,795
No, that's very true,
isn't it?
128
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,197
We were just
thinking that...
129
00:05:39,198 --> 00:05:41,833
your microbiome is
so healthy now,
130
00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:43,634
it would be nice
to share a little.
131
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,836
Yeah. Uh...
132
00:05:44,837 --> 00:05:46,437
Uh, I mean...
It's not that I don't want
133
00:05:46,438 --> 00:05:48,039
to share everything
with my friends.
134
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,841
It's just, you know --
135
00:05:49,842 --> 00:05:52,677
I'm sorry it just
doesn't seem right.
136
00:05:52,678 --> 00:05:54,479
And that is
totally fine!
137
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,948
If it doesn't feel right,
then it probably isn't right!
138
00:05:56,949 --> 00:05:58,583
[ Chuckles ]
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
139
00:05:58,584 --> 00:06:02,019
Oh, this is Kyle.
Sorry, girls, let me take this.
140
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,655
-Oh, okay!
-Okay.
141
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,125
That cunt!
I told you she'd say no.
142
00:06:07,126 --> 00:06:09,861
How much of a bitch can you be?
Won't share your feces?
143
00:06:09,862 --> 00:06:11,562
Talk about anal retentive.
144
00:06:11,563 --> 00:06:12,563
Fuck her.
145
00:06:12,564 --> 00:06:14,732
Fuck her.
146
00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:17,568
{\an9}♪♪
147
00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:20,671
[ Heartbeat pounding ]
148
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,373
{\an9}♪♪
149
00:06:22,374 --> 00:06:24,809
Kyle: [ Thinking ]
Half the cells in my body...
150
00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:26,177
half...
151
00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,813
{\an1} They're inside me right now,
152
00:06:28,814 --> 00:06:29,981
alive...
153
00:06:29,982 --> 00:06:31,949
all over me...
154
00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,718
The bookcase...
155
00:06:33,719 --> 00:06:35,319
The bookcase!
156
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,921
[ Screams ]
157
00:06:36,922 --> 00:06:39,490
Do you guys have any idea
what I'm saying?
158
00:06:39,491 --> 00:06:41,793
Half the cells in our bodies
aren't human.
159
00:06:41,794 --> 00:06:43,327
Right now,
there are alive creatures
160
00:06:43,328 --> 00:06:45,496
in your eyelashes
and in your teeth!
161
00:06:45,497 --> 00:06:47,365
So..?
162
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,633
"So"?!
163
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:50,668
Right now, that straw
has a bunch of little bugs
164
00:06:50,669 --> 00:06:52,236
and they're --
they're going into your mouth
165
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,738
And mixing with trillions
of other little bugs
166
00:06:53,739 --> 00:06:55,573
that are alive
inside you.
167
00:06:55,574 --> 00:06:57,041
You aren't even
totally you!
168
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:59,510
Dude, Kyle why are you talking
about all this?
169
00:06:59,511 --> 00:07:02,280
Okay, guys.
Listen.
170
00:07:02,281 --> 00:07:05,249
My mom had
a fecal transplant.
171
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,484
[ Spits ] Ha!
172
00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:09,954
[ Laughs ]
173
00:07:09,955 --> 00:07:12,156
Fecal transplant!
[ Laughs ]
174
00:07:12,157 --> 00:07:16,994
Hi, Kyle. I'm Harriet.
Henrietta and Bradley's mommy?
175
00:07:16,995 --> 00:07:19,530
I've been looking
all over town for you!
176
00:07:19,531 --> 00:07:20,731
Why?
177
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,433
Well, I went
to the video game store,
178
00:07:22,434 --> 00:07:26,204
and I bought this --
"Jedi Fallen Order."
179
00:07:26,205 --> 00:07:29,006
It's getting great reviews --
thought you might want it.
180
00:07:29,007 --> 00:07:31,142
Whaaat?
Yeah! He wants it!
181
00:07:31,143 --> 00:07:34,579
Great! Could you just do
one little thing for me, Kyle?
182
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,147
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
183
00:07:36,148 --> 00:07:39,383
When you go back home,
could you find a way to get
184
00:07:39,384 --> 00:07:43,888
a little of your mom's poop
and put it in this jar?
185
00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:45,456
What?! Ew!
186
00:07:45,457 --> 00:07:46,891
No!
Yes!
187
00:07:46,892 --> 00:07:48,392
I don't need much.
188
00:07:48,393 --> 00:07:50,161
I'm sure you can find a way
to sneak it from her.
189
00:07:50,162 --> 00:07:52,463
You do that,
and the game is all yours!
190
00:07:52,464 --> 00:07:54,899
That is disgusting!
Absolutely not.
191
00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:55,933
Kyle.
192
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,869
Oh, well.
Think about it.
193
00:07:57,870 --> 00:07:59,270
The offer stands.
194
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:04,575
I heard you can customize
your own light saber.
195
00:08:04,576 --> 00:08:06,577
What is your problem?
196
00:08:06,578 --> 00:08:07,779
What is my problem?!
197
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,914
I'm not gonna go
steal my mom's shit.
198
00:08:09,915 --> 00:08:11,149
Dude, you realize
199
00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:12,283
we won't get that game
till Christmas.
200
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,584
We could be
playing it tomorrow.
201
00:08:13,585 --> 00:08:14,952
Mrph rmh mhm!
202
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,589
I said no,
and that's final!
203
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,835
[ Pipes squeaking ]
204
00:08:30,836 --> 00:08:32,069
She's in!
205
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,671
Kyle's mom just squatted
on the toilet!
206
00:08:33,672 --> 00:08:35,039
Okay.
We've got contact.
207
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,441
You ready with the bucket,
Kenny?
208
00:08:36,442 --> 00:08:37,475
Mrph mhm!
209
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,244
Place it directly under
this pipe.
210
00:08:40,245 --> 00:08:43,014
Alright.
That should just about do it.
211
00:08:43,015 --> 00:08:44,482
Now we just wait...
212
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:51,055
for the flush.
213
00:08:51,056 --> 00:08:52,323
Mrph rmh mhm!
214
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,991
That's good
she's not flushing yet.
215
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,460
That means she's got
more serious business,
216
00:08:55,461 --> 00:08:57,495
and serious business
is just what we're after.
217
00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:59,063
You think she'll poop
a big enough log?
218
00:08:59,064 --> 00:09:00,465
You see how fat
Kyle's mom is?
219
00:09:00,466 --> 00:09:02,133
That bitch must poop
at least 2 pounders.
220
00:09:02,134 --> 00:09:03,734
Kyle: The fuck
are you doing?
221
00:09:03,735 --> 00:09:05,570
Oh, hey, Kyle.
What's goin' on?
222
00:09:05,571 --> 00:09:08,673
You are not stealing
my mom's shit!
223
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:11,442
Kyle, this is the world
we are living in, okay?
224
00:09:11,443 --> 00:09:14,011
People are finding new and
exciting ways to get healthy,
225
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,780
and who are we
to stand in their way?
226
00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:19,851
[ Toilet flushes ]
227
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:22,086
It just freaks
me out, Doc.
228
00:09:22,087 --> 00:09:25,156
We all have these...
things living inside our bodies,
229
00:09:25,157 --> 00:09:26,924
and everyone
just seems fine with it.
230
00:09:26,925 --> 00:09:29,560
{\an1}It's like as soon as people
learn they have microbiomes,
231
00:09:29,561 --> 00:09:31,763
the first thing they want to do
is start swapping them!
232
00:09:31,764 --> 00:09:33,297
Well, young man,
the truth is,
233
00:09:33,298 --> 00:09:35,566
we still don't know
a lot about the microbiome.
234
00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:38,269
but you shouldn't let it
freak you out.
235
00:09:38,270 --> 00:09:39,937
But where does
it stop?!
236
00:09:39,938 --> 00:09:41,239
Then are people
just gonna start wanting
237
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,040
skinny people's microbiomes
to be skinny
238
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:46,210
{\an1}or an athletes' microbiome to
feel athletic and young again?
239
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,846
Yes, it's possible,
but we don't know enough.
240
00:09:48,847 --> 00:09:50,515
There is no
"super feces,"
241
00:09:50,516 --> 00:09:52,316
which can make you
athletic and young.
242
00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:56,188
Well, like...
what about Tom Brady's poop?
243
00:09:57,923 --> 00:09:59,357
[ Thinking ] The spice...
244
00:09:59,358 --> 00:10:01,626
He knows about the spice.
245
00:10:01,627 --> 00:10:03,394
I-I'm just saying
that Tom Brady seems
246
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,962
to work really hard
on his diet and stuff.
247
00:10:04,963 --> 00:10:06,397
His shit must be
pretty good.
248
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,166
More than pretty good.
249
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:12,036
The Spice Melange.
250
00:10:12,037 --> 00:10:14,439
What?
251
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,641
Nothing.
252
00:10:16,642 --> 00:10:18,075
It's unobtainable.
253
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,877
The Spice.
254
00:10:19,878 --> 00:10:23,215
But could he be the one
to bring it here?
255
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:28,662
Announcer: And now back to
"One For the Ladies"!
256
00:10:28,663 --> 00:10:30,697
{\an9}♪♪
257
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:32,199
Have you been in
that store at all?
258
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,034
No, I think it's new,
isn't it?
259
00:10:34,035 --> 00:10:36,203
It used to be
that watch store.
260
00:10:36,204 --> 00:10:38,572
Oh, my God!
Harriet?
261
00:10:38,573 --> 00:10:41,441
Oh! Hi, girls!
What's new?
262
00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:43,043
My goodness!
Look at you!
263
00:10:43,044 --> 00:10:45,379
You look great!
What happened?
264
00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:47,915
Fecal transplant.
It's true what they say.
265
00:10:47,916 --> 00:10:49,716
I feel 20 years younger.
266
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,952
[ Horn honks ]
Lookin' good, Mrs. B!
267
00:10:51,953 --> 00:10:55,322
Fecal transplant, Damon!
Keep your eyes on the road!
268
00:10:55,323 --> 00:10:56,657
Harriet?
269
00:10:56,658 --> 00:10:59,126
Oh. Hey, Sheila.
270
00:10:59,127 --> 00:11:01,228
You're looking
chipper today.
271
00:11:01,229 --> 00:11:03,363
Yeah, I had a little
procedure done.
272
00:11:03,364 --> 00:11:04,798
Fecal transplant.
273
00:11:04,799 --> 00:11:06,300
I thought the doctor
wouldn't give you
274
00:11:06,301 --> 00:11:08,368
a fecal transplant,
Harriet.
275
00:11:08,369 --> 00:11:12,539
No, I... did it myself.
With a turkey baster.
276
00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:14,475
Where did you
get the feces?
277
00:11:14,476 --> 00:11:16,477
Well, it's really none
of your business, Sheila.
278
00:11:16,478 --> 00:11:18,412
It's a private matter,
a fecal transplant.
279
00:11:18,413 --> 00:11:20,280
I'd really rather not
talk about it.
280
00:11:20,281 --> 00:11:22,950
See ya, girls.
ALL: Bye, Harriet!
281
00:11:22,951 --> 00:11:24,852
Two faced bitch!
282
00:11:24,853 --> 00:11:26,320
You know what
she said about you at lunch?
283
00:11:26,321 --> 00:11:28,956
What?
She called you the C-word.
284
00:11:28,957 --> 00:11:31,291
You're joking!
Oh, no!
285
00:11:31,292 --> 00:11:32,960
Clearly, she couldn't stand
that you were
286
00:11:32,961 --> 00:11:35,496
the only one in town
who's shit didn't stink.
287
00:11:35,497 --> 00:11:36,830
Fuck her.
288
00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:38,265
Fuck her.
289
00:11:38,266 --> 00:11:40,033
{\an9}♪♪
290
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:41,535
{\an1}Boys, I brought you in here
291
00:11:41,536 --> 00:11:45,339
because some rumors are floating
around the school, mkay.
292
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:48,041
These rumors are
that you three
293
00:11:48,042 --> 00:11:51,645
somehow stole feces
from Kyle's mom, mkay,
294
00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:53,013
and gave it to Mrs. Biggle
295
00:11:53,014 --> 00:11:55,149
in return for
"Jedi Fallen" Order."
296
00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:57,551
That is 100% untrue.
297
00:11:57,552 --> 00:12:01,388
Mkay, well, someone in this
school is a little turd burglar,
298
00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:02,623
and I want some answers.
299
00:12:02,624 --> 00:12:04,925
How can we answer that to which
we have no knowledge?
300
00:12:04,926 --> 00:12:06,693
[ Whispering ]
Very nice. Very nice.
301
00:12:06,694 --> 00:12:09,563
It must be hard...
302
00:12:09,564 --> 00:12:12,900
having to take turns playing
"Jedi Fallen Order."
303
00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:15,402
It's a single player game,
I believe.
304
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:16,737
Wouldn't know.
305
00:12:16,738 --> 00:12:21,074
Oh, because I could get you
each your own copy.
306
00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:22,976
That would be a lot a fun,
wouldn't it?
307
00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:26,680
You guys stole the poop.
308
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:28,615
Could you do it again?
309
00:12:28,616 --> 00:12:30,083
You want us to steal
310
00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:31,919
some of Kyle's mom's poop
for you?
311
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,754
Not Kyle's mom's.
312
00:12:33,755 --> 00:12:35,322
Someone else's.
313
00:12:35,323 --> 00:12:36,824
Whose?
314
00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:39,126
[ Thinking ] The Spice.
315
00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:41,128
I must have it.
316
00:12:41,129 --> 00:12:44,966
The Spice Melange.
317
00:12:47,035 --> 00:12:49,970
Alright. Alright.
Um, proud of our team today.
318
00:12:49,971 --> 00:12:51,038
It was, uh...
319
00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:52,372
{\an1}You know, I thought the defense
320
00:12:52,373 --> 00:12:54,107
did a great job
keeping us in the game.
321
00:12:54,108 --> 00:12:55,709
And, again, I think
the offense has
322
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:56,877
{\an1}a lot of room for improvement
323
00:12:56,878 --> 00:12:58,779
{\an1}and all that starts with me.
324
00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:00,314
Questions?
Yeah.
325
00:13:00,315 --> 00:13:02,449
Can we have
your poop?
326
00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:06,320
No, guys, I'm not gonna take
any requests for my microbiome.
327
00:13:06,321 --> 00:13:08,021
{\an1}I just wanna focus on the team.
328
00:13:08,022 --> 00:13:09,690
We're 10-1 now, you know?
329
00:13:09,691 --> 00:13:11,458
But we can't let up.
Yeah?
330
00:13:11,459 --> 00:13:13,694
Please, can we have your poop.
Okay, I'm not --
331
00:13:13,695 --> 00:13:15,896
I'm not gonna stay out here.
You guys. It's just --
332
00:13:15,897 --> 00:13:17,898
Does anyone have
a real question?
333
00:13:17,899 --> 00:13:19,099
Tom, after you
leave here,
334
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,467
are you gonna go
eat somewhere
335
00:13:20,468 --> 00:13:22,603
or go right home and --
No, no. See?
336
00:13:22,604 --> 00:13:24,404
I'm not gonna tell you guys
where I'm doing
337
00:13:24,405 --> 00:13:25,806
because then
you're all gonna try
338
00:13:25,807 --> 00:13:27,040
and follow me
into the bathroom.
339
00:13:27,041 --> 00:13:28,542
{\an1}You're not taking my feces,
340
00:13:28,543 --> 00:13:30,110
so unless you have
a football question,
341
00:13:30,111 --> 00:13:31,245
we're done here.
342
00:13:31,246 --> 00:13:33,548
Can we buy your poop?
343
00:13:36,885 --> 00:13:38,118
Kyle: [ Thinking ]
Microbiome...
344
00:13:38,119 --> 00:13:39,921
Inside me...
345
00:13:43,224 --> 00:13:46,260
They are inside me.
346
00:13:46,261 --> 00:13:48,228
Are they a part of me?
347
00:13:48,229 --> 00:13:50,063
When I eat, they eat.
348
00:13:50,064 --> 00:13:51,532
When I die,
349
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:54,635
they consume me
and continue to live.
350
00:13:54,636 --> 00:13:58,672
Am I just an Airbnb
in Santa Clarita?
351
00:13:58,673 --> 00:14:00,507
They're not a part of me.
352
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:03,410
They are me.
353
00:14:03,411 --> 00:14:05,245
{\an9}♪♪
354
00:14:05,246 --> 00:14:07,981
The bookcase.
355
00:14:07,982 --> 00:14:10,584
The bookcase!
356
00:14:10,585 --> 00:14:12,186
You have to understand,
357
00:14:12,187 --> 00:14:14,521
a lot of people
want things from Tom Brady.
358
00:14:14,522 --> 00:14:17,191
He has to be
a little protective.
359
00:14:17,192 --> 00:14:19,359
Yes, we do understand.
We just...
360
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,328
Well, since you're his publicist
we thought that...
361
00:14:21,329 --> 00:14:23,130
You could give Mr. Brady
our message-
362
00:14:23,131 --> 00:14:24,898
It's alright Stan.
don't cry.
363
00:14:24,899 --> 00:14:27,734
You see, ma'am, our friend
little Kenny here is dying.
364
00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:31,305
And he's... He's just the biggest
Patriots fan.
365
00:14:31,306 --> 00:14:33,040
You know, I can call him,
366
00:14:33,041 --> 00:14:35,542
but he's very busy right now
with the season.
367
00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,544
Well, if Mr. Brady
could just, you know,
368
00:14:37,545 --> 00:14:39,847
have Kenny stay over
at his house for a night.
369
00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:41,982
Kind of like a Michael Jackson
kind of thing.
370
00:14:41,983 --> 00:14:43,817
Ohhghghgh!
371
00:14:43,818 --> 00:14:45,252
Oh, gosh,
we're losing him!
372
00:14:45,253 --> 00:14:47,454
We need to make this happen
quickly, ma'am.
373
00:14:47,455 --> 00:14:50,924
They want the spice.
Just like the rest.
374
00:14:50,925 --> 00:14:54,061
Perhaps they are
the ones...
375
00:14:54,062 --> 00:14:55,562
Uh, ma'am?
376
00:14:55,563 --> 00:14:58,499
Tom Brady's Publicist:
A chance. Perhaps.
377
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,302
They could actually obtain
the Spice Melange...
378
00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:05,440
Let me...
see what I can do.
379
00:15:07,275 --> 00:15:11,011
Girls, can I just say --
you both look fantastic.
380
00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:12,579
Oh, thanks girlfriend.
381
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,548
We've been working out
and dieting, you know --
382
00:15:14,549 --> 00:15:16,817
not cheating, like
that bitch Harriot.
383
00:15:16,818 --> 00:15:19,186
Well, it's great you guys
are doing it the natural way
384
00:15:19,187 --> 00:15:21,989
and we don't have to deal
with Harriot anymore.
385
00:15:21,990 --> 00:15:24,992
There you are,
you Goddamn bitch!
386
00:15:24,993 --> 00:15:27,094
I will take you to court,
fat whore!
387
00:15:27,095 --> 00:15:29,096
Harriot,
I do not like your tone-
388
00:15:29,097 --> 00:15:31,098
You knew I was going to
steal your poo,
389
00:15:31,099 --> 00:15:33,000
and so you tainted it,
didn't you?!
390
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:34,568
What are you
talking about?
391
00:15:34,569 --> 00:15:37,304
I have been shitting
and throwing up all day!
392
00:15:37,305 --> 00:15:39,540
It has to be
from your feces!
393
00:15:39,541 --> 00:15:42,309
So, you did take my poo,
huh, Harriot?
394
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,444
That's besides
the point now!
395
00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:46,413
Oh, IS it?
'Cause the girls told me
396
00:15:46,414 --> 00:15:48,215
you called me the C word
the other day!
397
00:15:48,216 --> 00:15:51,185
Oh, you're all
backstabbing bitches now!
398
00:15:51,186 --> 00:15:52,920
Fuck you, Harriot!
399
00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:54,888
Uhhh-- Okay, ladies.
come on --
400
00:15:54,889 --> 00:15:57,457
Just admit it!
I can't stop puking and shitting
401
00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:58,959
because of what
you did to me!
402
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,596
[ Moans ]
403
00:16:03,932 --> 00:16:05,199
What the fuck?
404
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,134
You thought you were
such hot shit, Harriot.
405
00:16:07,135 --> 00:16:09,169
We took the leftover feces
from your house,
406
00:16:09,170 --> 00:16:11,638
and put it up our asses
with a Turkey baster!
407
00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:13,408
Oh. Oh, God.
408
00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:30,220
Announcer: We now return to
"One for the Ladies."
409
00:16:32,222 --> 00:16:35,624
[ Wind howls ]
410
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:37,627
[ Roars ]
411
00:16:48,939 --> 00:16:50,774
[ Doorbell rings ]
412
00:16:58,248 --> 00:16:59,915
Hello, ma'am.
We are the darling children
413
00:16:59,916 --> 00:17:02,284
who's dying friend is all set
to meet Tom Brady.
414
00:17:02,285 --> 00:17:08,057
I am Mabel Gonzales,
the housekeeper.
415
00:17:08,058 --> 00:17:10,192
They're here
for the spice.
416
00:17:10,193 --> 00:17:13,062
I can sense it.
417
00:17:13,063 --> 00:17:16,165
Cartman: I wonder why everyone
keeps taking really long pauses
418
00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:18,400
after they talk?
419
00:17:18,401 --> 00:17:19,869
Stan: People just keep
looking at me
420
00:17:19,870 --> 00:17:22,671
like I'm supposed
to say something.
421
00:17:22,672 --> 00:17:24,473
Kenny:
Why did I agree to this?
422
00:17:24,474 --> 00:17:27,543
I don't even have a machine
to play Fallen Order on.
423
00:17:27,544 --> 00:17:28,577
Come on in.
424
00:17:28,578 --> 00:17:32,348
Mr. Brady is just
using the bathroom.
425
00:17:32,349 --> 00:17:36,486
Music to your ears,
I suppose.
426
00:17:41,057 --> 00:17:45,461
We've got more sick incoming.
Try and make some more room.
427
00:17:45,462 --> 00:17:47,663
We have a major epidemic,
here, detective.
428
00:17:47,664 --> 00:17:49,665
C-diff has spread
to half the town.
429
00:17:49,666 --> 00:17:52,435
We don't have enough staff
or enough supplies
to keep up with it.
430
00:17:52,436 --> 00:17:53,769
How did this happen?!
431
00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:55,805
Apparently, the outbreak
started at a restaurant,
432
00:17:55,806 --> 00:17:57,873
when some women
got sick on everybody.
433
00:17:57,874 --> 00:17:59,375
{\an1}The women contracted C-diff
434
00:17:59,376 --> 00:18:01,911
by giving themselves
DIY fecal transplants.
435
00:18:01,912 --> 00:18:04,580
So, they got sick from
another woman's feces?
436
00:18:04,581 --> 00:18:07,016
No. They got sick
from using this --
437
00:18:07,017 --> 00:18:08,818
a common household
turkey baster.
438
00:18:08,819 --> 00:18:11,153
It's a thing most people
only use once a year,
439
00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:12,488
around Thanksgiving.
440
00:18:12,489 --> 00:18:14,190
The rest of the year,
it just sits in a drawer,
441
00:18:14,191 --> 00:18:15,624
collecting bacteria.
442
00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:18,260
And then, the ladies went
and stuck it up their asses.
443
00:18:18,261 --> 00:18:19,995
Oh, those ladies!
444
00:18:19,996 --> 00:18:21,263
It gets worse.
445
00:18:21,264 --> 00:18:22,998
We're completely out
of healthy donor feces.
446
00:18:22,999 --> 00:18:25,401
Even if we found a donor at this
point it wouldn't be enough
447
00:18:25,402 --> 00:18:27,036
to give everyone
transplants.
448
00:18:27,037 --> 00:18:28,404
So what happens next?
449
00:18:28,405 --> 00:18:31,607
With how contagious C-diff is,
and how deadly,
450
00:18:31,608 --> 00:18:34,577
Half of South Park
is going to die.
451
00:18:34,578 --> 00:18:38,615
Jesus. What have those
rascally ladies done?
452
00:18:41,418 --> 00:18:44,086
So... You're all here
to meet Tom Brady, too?
453
00:18:44,087 --> 00:18:45,654
Yeah.
I'm a sports writer.
454
00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:47,857
Getting a
little interview.
455
00:18:47,858 --> 00:18:51,260
A little interview,
and hopefully more.
456
00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:53,028
Yes, and we are here
with our little girl
457
00:18:53,029 --> 00:18:54,730
who's dying,
just like your friend.
458
00:18:54,731 --> 00:18:55,965
I'm dying, Mommy?
459
00:18:55,966 --> 00:18:57,299
Shut up, Theresa!
460
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,135
The Spice Melange.
461
00:18:59,136 --> 00:19:01,504
It is here
in this house.
462
00:19:01,505 --> 00:19:05,975
Everyone, the honorable
Thomas Brady.
463
00:19:05,976 --> 00:19:07,443
Hey, everybody.
464
00:19:07,444 --> 00:19:08,744
The rest of you,
stand back!
465
00:19:08,745 --> 00:19:10,579
They all deceive you,
Mr. Brady!
466
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:13,315
They only want to get to
the Spice Melange!
467
00:19:13,316 --> 00:19:17,019
Oh, God, not again.
Alright, everybody out.
468
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:18,554
Come on. Let's go.
469
00:19:18,555 --> 00:19:20,489
Mr. Brady, can we just see
your basement really fast?
470
00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:21,824
Nope. Nope.
That's all.
471
00:19:21,825 --> 00:19:23,793
If you people want
a healthy microbiome,
472
00:19:23,794 --> 00:19:25,928
then proper diet
and healthy choices, alright?
473
00:19:25,929 --> 00:19:28,998
That's it.
You are all being ridiculous.
474
00:19:28,999 --> 00:19:30,567
[ Door opens ]
475
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:39,609
Kyle? Dude,
what are you doing here?
476
00:19:41,445 --> 00:19:44,548
You don't get to be part
of Turd Burglars now, Kyle.
477
00:19:48,952 --> 00:19:50,687
The Bookcase.
478
00:20:01,098 --> 00:20:04,400
[ All gasping, "oh" ing ]
479
00:20:04,401 --> 00:20:06,202
Okay, look,
I got sick of people
480
00:20:06,203 --> 00:20:08,771
going to my basement
and screwing with my plumbing.
481
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,607
The spice.
So much of it.
482
00:20:11,608 --> 00:20:15,711
Enough for everyone.
Enough to bring peace to all.
483
00:20:15,712 --> 00:20:18,380
I stopped flushing them
because people kept breaking
484
00:20:18,381 --> 00:20:19,749
my pipes to get them.
485
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:22,551
Never, in my wildest dreams,
did I believe
486
00:20:22,552 --> 00:20:24,754
so much
could be obtained.
487
00:20:24,755 --> 00:20:28,190
This is enough for
all the universe.
488
00:20:28,191 --> 00:20:29,759
I mean, you'd all
do the same thing
489
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,295
if people were always trying
to steal your shit.
490
00:20:49,913 --> 00:20:52,948
That's good. Stay still.
Almost there.
491
00:20:52,949 --> 00:20:56,752
Oh, Sheila, I'm so sorry
for stealing your feces.
492
00:20:56,753 --> 00:21:00,122
And we're sorry for stealing
it from you, Harriot.
493
00:21:00,123 --> 00:21:01,791
Girls this was
all my fault.
494
00:21:01,792 --> 00:21:03,592
I think I got
a little carried away
495
00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:05,728
bragging about
my fecal transplant.
496
00:21:05,729 --> 00:21:08,597
I hope we can all
be besties again.
497
00:21:08,598 --> 00:21:10,599
Doctor: You ladies
are pretty lucky.
498
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,302
{\an1}If it hadn't been for these
little turd burglars, here,
499
00:21:13,303 --> 00:21:15,504
you'd be dead --
and also responsible
500
00:21:15,505 --> 00:21:17,606
for the deaths
of countless others.
501
00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:19,074
Kyle, how did you do it?
502
00:21:19,075 --> 00:21:21,811
I mean, how did you even know
what was going on?
503
00:21:21,812 --> 00:21:24,180
I didn't know.
My microbiome did.
504
00:21:24,181 --> 00:21:26,282
All along, they were trying
to tell me something.
505
00:21:26,283 --> 00:21:28,050
I've really learned that
I'm not just me.
506
00:21:28,051 --> 00:21:29,985
I'm also all the creatures
inside of me.
507
00:21:29,986 --> 00:21:32,888
From now on, I'm gonna trust
my gut a little more.
508
00:21:32,889 --> 00:21:35,491
Well, I think we've all
learned something.
509
00:21:35,492 --> 00:21:39,228
"One for the Ladies" is one
too many for the ladies.
510
00:21:39,229 --> 00:21:42,032
[ Laughter ]
511
00:21:44,901 --> 00:21:54,844
{\an9}♪♪
512
00:21:54,845 --> 00:22:04,787
{\an9}♪♪
513
00:22:04,788 --> 00:22:14,731
{\an9}♪♪