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- ♪ MTV ♪
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[twangy music]
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- ♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna have
myself a time ♪
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all:
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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- ♪ Going down
to South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna leave my
woes behind ♪
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- ♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
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♪ People spouting:
"Howdy neighbor!" ♪
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- ♪ Headed on up
to South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna see if
I can't unwind ♪
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[muffled singing]
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- ♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
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♪ And meet some
friends of mine ♪
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- Hey, Rick!
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- Oh. Hey, Herb.
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- So, you know what
this week is, right?
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- Um, is it Easter?
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- No, it's my spring break!
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No school for seven days!
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And guess what?
Go pack your things
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because you and I are going
on a big, romantic trip!
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- Really?
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- I just came
from the travel agent.
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We're gonna spend five nights
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in Myrtle Beach,
South Carolina.
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- Oh.
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- Well, what's the matter?
- Myrtle Beach? Really?
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We all know what goes on
down there.
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I don't do that stuff anymore,
and neither should you.
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- Rick, I don't wanna
go down there to rage.
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I just wanna sit on a beach
with you and watch the sunset.
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- Yeah, but isn't Myrtle Beach
where those places are?
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- I don't wanna go into
one of those places.
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I don't think they even exist
anymore.
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Don't you think this is
just what we need, Rick?
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- You don't even wanna
go into one of those places?
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- Rick, I'm a little old
for that.
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It'd be pretty pathetic
if I did.
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- Well...
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Okay.
- Ohh, Rick!
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We're gonna have the best time!
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I can't wait to spoil you.
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- I really do need a vacation.
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- Oh, we're gonna have the best
spring break of anyone!
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- All right, guys.
You sure you packed everything?
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- Yeah, that should be
all of it.
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- Well, I hope you and Shelley
have a great spring break trip.
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- I still feel bad,
us going on a trip
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while you and Stan stay home.
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- You guys have fun
in Santa Fe.
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We're gonna do
some dad and son stuff.
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Goodbye, Shelley!
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Have fun! I'll miss you!
[kisses]
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- There should be food enough
to last you the week.
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- Yes, yes, don't worry.
We'll be fine.
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- Bye, Stan! Love you!
- Love you, Mom!
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- Okay, guys, be safe.
- Bye!
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[slams door]
Aww, jeah!
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Bitches are gone!
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Spring break!
Spring break! Spring break!
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This is gonna be
the best spring break ever.
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They're gonna be gone
the whole week!
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[opens beer]
Bro, what are you doing?
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- I'm painting miniatures.
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- Painting min--
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Dude, do you not understand?
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Your mom and Shelley are gone.
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We can do whatever we want
without any stupid rules.
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- Whatever I want?
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- Yeah, dude!
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That's what this is all about.
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Let's do some
spring break shit!
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- Can I see if any of the guys
wanna come over
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to do "40k" all week?
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- Hell, yeah,
let's do some "40k."
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What is that?
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- You don't know
"Warhammer 40k"?
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- Oh, yeah,
"Warhammer 40k," of course.
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I'm down.
Let's do it.
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- Really? All week?
- Yeah, dude!
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You're old enough.
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- Sweet! I'm gonna call
Tolkien!
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[chatter, children playing]
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- Oh, Rick.
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Isn't this nice?
This place is incredible.
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- Yeah, it's really nice.
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I just don't know
if I deserve all this.
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- You do deserve it, Rick.
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You've made me really happy.
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Are you almost done?
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- Yeah, all done.
Here you go.
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- Oh, Rick.
Look at how happy we are.
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Oh, that salt water air
is just so good.
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Can't wait to try
some Southern food.
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You hungry?
- Yeah, sure. I could eat.
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- A lot of things are different
here in the South.
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Kinda hard to figure out
what's good.
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[dreamy club music playing]
- Yeah, all the stores
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and restaurants here
aren't like Colorado.
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It's almost like
another culture.
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♪ ♪
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Herb?
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♪ ♪
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Herb?
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♪ ♪
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Oh, no.
- Geez.
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It's still here.
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♪ ♪
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- You said you wouldn't
go into one of these places.
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- I don't wanna go in.
I just...
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can't believe some of these
places are still here.
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- Whoa! Look who's here!
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What are you doing in town?
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- Oh, I'm just on vacation.
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This is Rick.
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- Well, do you wanna
come inside
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and rally a little bit?
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- Oh, no thanks.
I don't rally anymore.
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- You sure?
Everyone would love
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to rally with you again.
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- I'm sure.
I don't need to rally.
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I'm just here to relax.
Take care.
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- Well, if you change
your mind, we'll be here!
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America number one!
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- Number one, yep.
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Some people, huh? Geez.
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- Okay, so I'm gonna have
my Retributor Squad
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attack your
Stormhawk Interceptor.
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- Okay, that has
a toughness of 7
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and a -1
to your hit rolls.
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[rattles dice, throws]
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- Okay, so that's
three, four, five hits.
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- Okay, I'm gonna roll
my saving throw, which is 3+.
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[rattles dice, throws]
- What in the actual [bleep]
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are you guys doing?
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- We're playing "40k."
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- You guys have wasted
another day of spring break
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with this stupid shit.
- [rattles dice, throws]
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- Do you guys know
what spring break is about?
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Wet t-shirt contests,
mud wrestling.
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Don't you wanna get
some bitches over here?
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- I thought you were happy
'cause the bitches were gone?
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- I'm happy
the bitches are gone
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so we can have bitches over!
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Spring break is dude time.
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But you know what,
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today's society
has ruined it all.
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They've taught you boys
to be ashamed of being boys.
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Convinced you that your natural
innate male desires are toxic.
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No matter what the liberals
try to tell you, boys,
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you shouldn't be ashamed
of your gender.
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- Okay, Dad. So I've got
an Imperium infantry unit
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within six inches
of Celestine,
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so they have a +6 save.
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- My God.
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What are we going to do?
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[club music pounding]
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[waves crashing]
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- I'm going to sleep.
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I'm gonna go to sleep now.
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- ♪ I feel so alone ♪
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- Here I go...to sleep.
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[exhales]
[club music continues]
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Rick?
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ Go, look at me ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ I feel so alone ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ Move with me ♪
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♪ Look at me ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ I feel so alone ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ ♪
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- Can I help you
find any--oh, my God!
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Sir, you're back!
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- Yeah, just browsing.
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- You guys, it's him!
He's here!
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00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:06,084
- Oh, wow, it is him!
- It's him?
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00:07:06,084 --> 00:07:07,185
[crowd clamoring]
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- Is that really you?
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- What are you doing here?
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- Could I get
a selfie with you?
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- Hey, uh, since you're here,
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you wanna rally a little bit?
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- No, no. I can't rally
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I've got a serious boyfriend.
I'm just looking around.
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- Oh, come on. When are you
gonna be here again?
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Live a little!
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- Well, maybe I could do
just a little bit.
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I mean, wha--
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What the hell is up
with all these Mexicans? Huh?
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[cheering]
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00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,712
Yeah! I mean--I mean,
Joe Biden obviously thinks
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00:07:33,712 --> 00:07:35,480
immigrants are made of gold
or something.
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Piece of shit!
[cheering]
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Yeah! Yeah!
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- [knocking]
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00:07:45,724 --> 00:07:47,559
Hey, Steven.
You know your son's
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been over at my house
for spring break?
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00:07:49,327 --> 00:07:51,029
- Yeah, of course I know.
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00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:53,598
- Well, you should see
what they're doing,
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00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:56,501
'cause it's a little hrrrp.
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00:07:56,501 --> 00:07:57,936
- Well--well,
what are they doing?
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00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,539
- Look, I just think
we better talk with our boys
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to counteract all the ways
in which society
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00:08:02,908 --> 00:08:05,811
has been pathologizing
masculinity.
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00:08:05,811 --> 00:08:08,046
I mean, you went balls-out
on spring break, right?
215
00:08:08,046 --> 00:08:10,749
Tried to see chicks' boobs
and stuff?
216
00:08:10,749 --> 00:08:12,851
- Mm, no I didn't.
217
00:08:12,851 --> 00:08:14,853
- Well, no, I mean,
you weren't ashamed
218
00:08:14,853 --> 00:08:16,521
of being a guy, right?
219
00:08:16,521 --> 00:08:17,856
Like, you went out to the lake
220
00:08:17,856 --> 00:08:20,158
and tried to play grab ass
with girls, right?
221
00:08:20,158 --> 00:08:22,961
- No, I did not.
222
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,697
- Why--why are you saying that?
223
00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:28,366
Why are you making
those words with your mouth?
224
00:08:28,366 --> 00:08:30,735
- Oh, hey, Randy.
Everything okay with the boys?
225
00:08:30,735 --> 00:08:32,938
- Ohh, right.
226
00:08:32,938 --> 00:08:35,006
Sorry--sorry, yeah,
everything's great.
227
00:08:35,006 --> 00:08:37,642
They're playing a little
table miniatures game.
228
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,878
It's great.
229
00:08:39,878 --> 00:08:42,414
Just, uh, came to let you know
they're good.
230
00:08:42,414 --> 00:08:43,481
[under breath]
Don't worry.
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00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,550
I'm gonna take care of it.
232
00:08:46,918 --> 00:08:48,220
- I'll tell you what else.
233
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:50,255
This whole situation
in the Ukraine,
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00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:52,190
that wouldn't be happening
on my watch.
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[cheers and applause]
236
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,928
The problem is now we all have
a president who's afraid.
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And that's why Joe and the ho
have got to go!
238
00:09:00,031 --> 00:09:01,433
[cheers and applause]
[cell phone rings]
239
00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:03,268
And I'll tell you
another thing.
240
00:09:03,268 --> 00:09:04,970
It's--oh, hang on a second.
241
00:09:06,471 --> 00:09:07,739
Oh, crap.
242
00:09:07,739 --> 00:09:09,241
Ho--hold on a second,
everybody.
243
00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:11,209
Uh--
[shushing]
244
00:09:11,209 --> 00:09:13,545
[clears throat]
[answers phone]
245
00:09:13,545 --> 00:09:15,513
Oh, hey, Rick!
246
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:16,715
- Where are you?
247
00:09:16,715 --> 00:09:18,016
- I couldn't sleep, Rick.
248
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,451
I was just tossing and turning
249
00:09:19,451 --> 00:09:20,752
and I didn't wanna wake you up,
250
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so I decided to come out
and buy some sunscreen
251
00:09:23,121 --> 00:09:24,756
and stuff
for our beach day tomorrow.
252
00:09:24,756 --> 00:09:26,658
- Oh, okay.
253
00:09:26,658 --> 00:09:29,060
I got scared
that you were out rallying.
254
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,463
- Ohh, geez,
well, that's silly.
255
00:09:31,463 --> 00:09:33,632
Last thing I wanna do
is rally.
256
00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:35,033
Listen up--
get back to sleep, Rick.
257
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,568
I'll--I'll be right home,
okay?
258
00:09:36,568 --> 00:09:38,970
- Okay. Sorry for panicking.
Bye.
259
00:09:38,970 --> 00:09:40,906
- Bye-bye.
[hangs up]
260
00:09:40,906 --> 00:09:42,374
Okay, uh, nice to meet you,
everybody.
261
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:43,775
I need to get going.
262
00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:45,477
- Oh, come on. Just rally
with us a little bit more.
263
00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:46,778
- No, I really can't.
264
00:09:46,778 --> 00:09:48,747
- Just a few more minutes.
Come on!
265
00:09:49,648 --> 00:09:52,751
- All right, I guess I can
rally just a little bit longer.
266
00:09:52,751 --> 00:09:54,586
I mean, after all,
I am here for you.
267
00:09:54,586 --> 00:09:56,788
I am your warrior!
268
00:09:56,788 --> 00:09:58,323
Liberal left!
269
00:09:58,323 --> 00:09:59,925
Hunter Biden laptop!
270
00:09:59,925 --> 00:10:01,393
[cheers and applause]
271
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,862
Yeah! Yeah!
272
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,210
- [snoring]
273
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,482
Uh--
274
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,818
Ugh. Oh, geez.
275
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,820
- Herb?
Herb, you gotta get up.
276
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,889
We're gonna miss
our whole beach day.
277
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:24,758
- Oh, it's--it's just
the time change, Rick.
278
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:25,993
You enjoy the beach.
279
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,529
I just gotta sleep
a little longer.
280
00:10:28,529 --> 00:10:30,030
- Okay.
281
00:10:31,532 --> 00:10:32,599
- [snoring]
282
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:35,769
[chatter, waves crashing]
283
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,640
[somber music]
284
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:44,978
♪ ♪
285
00:10:47,548 --> 00:10:48,749
- [rattles dice, throws]
286
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:49,917
Dude, it's so awesome
being able
287
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,151
to leave "Warhammer"
set up all night
288
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,386
and come back to it
in the morning.
289
00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:54,254
- I know, it's great.
290
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:57,224
- Hey, hey, you guys.
What did you do?
291
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,293
- What do you mean?
- I mean the cops are here.
292
00:10:59,293 --> 00:11:00,961
What did you guys do?
293
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:04,565
- We're just continuing our
game of "40k" from last night.
294
00:11:04,565 --> 00:11:05,966
- Okay, you guys,
just stop
295
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,202
'cause the police wanna ask you
some questions.
296
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:09,536
Come on in, officers.
297
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,505
- [cracking whip]
Hello, gentlemen.
298
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,773
Hands up.
299
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:15,142
- We heard somebody in here's
been bad.
300
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,811
- Oh, no, guys. Looks like
you're in big trouble.
301
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,680
You better read 'em
their rights.
302
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,348
- Hey, whoa, whoa!
Don't touch the models.
303
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,616
We spent a long time on this.
304
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:23,917
- Stan, stop with that shit.
305
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,252
Come on, get into it.
306
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,387
Wet t-shirt contest!
307
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,022
- Hey, what the [bleep]?
308
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,458
- What?
- Hey, you [bleep] guy!
309
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,126
You do not harass the ladies!
310
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,362
- Well, I wanted strippers,
not prudes.
311
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,664
- [cocks gun]
You wanna talk, big man? Huh?
312
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,399
You wanna be big man?
313
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,767
- Whoa, whoa, okay. I--
314
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,270
I think I need to explain
something to you, okay?
315
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,505
Look, I'm just trying to combat
the messages
316
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,674
that the liberal left
is putting out to young men
317
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:50,477
about their male instincts
being toxic.
318
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,845
- The [bleep] you talking?
319
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,380
- You know,
I'm trying to show my son
320
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,382
and his nerdy little friend
what a real party is
321
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,551
'cause society wants them
to be ashamed
322
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,686
of their masculine natures.
323
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,089
- You want real party?
- Yeah!
324
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,558
Truth is, I got a whole barn
full of weed.
325
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:07,628
- I will call some friends.
326
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,636
- The person you are
trying to reach
327
00:12:15,636 --> 00:12:17,137
cannot be located.
328
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,406
Please leave a message.
[beep]
329
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,707
- Where are you?
330
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,676
I got back from the beach
and you were gone.
331
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:24,177
Please pick up.
332
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,820
[club music pounding]
333
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:34,888
♪ ♪
334
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:37,157
[lively chatter]
335
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,458
♪ ♪
336
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,161
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
337
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,597
[crowd cheering]
338
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,465
♪ ♪
339
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,301
- And we're gonna take Georgia,
340
00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:50,103
and--and we're gonna
take Arizona this time!
341
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,571
[cheering]
342
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,141
And when I say we're gonna take
Arizona in the election,
343
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,809
I--I mean we're gonna
take it again.
344
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:58,111
'cause we all know
I won it last time, too!
345
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,846
Oh.
346
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:02,382
Oh. Hey, everybody.
347
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,684
This is Rick.
348
00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:06,687
♪ ♪
349
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,457
Rick! Rick,
will you just wait!
350
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,626
- You know it's 2:00
in the morning?
351
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,429
I was alone at the hotel
while you were out rallying!
352
00:13:15,429 --> 00:13:18,231
- I just wanted to rally
for a little bit.
353
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,734
- Yeah, you really look like
you just rallied a little bit.
354
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:23,070
- I got a text
that Tucker was in town,
355
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,439
and I just wanted to go rally
for a little bit.
356
00:13:25,439 --> 00:13:28,008
- You really think those people
care about you, Herb?
357
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:30,811
They don't.
They just wanna do that.
358
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,647
- Rick, I got it
out of my system now.
359
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,115
We can still have
a great vacation.
360
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,783
Let's just start over tomorrow.
361
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,518
Okay?
362
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:43,357
[electronic music blaring]
[excited chatter]
363
00:13:43,357 --> 00:13:47,761
♪ ♪
364
00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:50,364
- Right, all right,
let's do this!
365
00:13:50,364 --> 00:13:51,431
Okay, you ready?
366
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,900
Three, two, one. Go!
367
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,169
[cheering]
Check it out, guys!
368
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,206
Ahh! [laughs]
369
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,574
Huh? Whoa!
[snapping]
370
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,409
[crashing]
371
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,378
♪ ♪
372
00:14:04,378 --> 00:14:06,213
- Sir, do you think
you can walk?
373
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,115
- [muffled]
No, I don't think so.
374
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,384
- Sir, we think you've had
too much to drink,
375
00:14:10,384 --> 00:14:12,252
and we should probably
take you to the hospital.
376
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,254
- No, I can't.
I have to stay here
377
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,022
'cause I'm in charge
of my son.
378
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,358
Today's woke culture
has vilified his manhood
379
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,193
and made him ashamed
of himself.
380
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,896
- Okay, sir, but it appears
you have a broken arm
381
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,498
and several fractured ribs.
382
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,133
- Yeah, but I can't leave
383
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,502
because my son's natural
instincts are being suppressed
384
00:14:28,502 --> 00:14:30,704
and it's leading
to behavioral problems.
385
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,239
You see the shit he's doing?
386
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,775
He's over there
playing with dolls.
387
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,284
- It's pretty good fondue,
right?
388
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,621
- We should probably
just go back to the hotel.
389
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:49,556
You've got the shakes
from rallying all night.
390
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,426
- No, no, Rick.
This is our vacation.
391
00:14:52,426 --> 00:14:53,960
I want us to have a nice
392
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,862
romantic lunch.
[retches]
393
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:58,064
- Maybe we should
just go back to Colorado.
394
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,001
- No, Rick.
I'm gonna make this up to you.
395
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,502
I don't wanna rally anymore.
396
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,104
There's just a lot of people
out there
397
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,173
who won't let it go, you know?
398
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,808
- Yes, and you can't
be around them.
399
00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:09,776
- I know, I know.
400
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,278
Let me just--
401
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,947
Let me just go throw up
because I'll feel much better.
402
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,149
- Okay, go throw up, Herb.
403
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,989
[vomits]
404
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:28,628
Oh, God.
405
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,730
Come on, just stop. Stop.
406
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,232
The country is fine.
407
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,900
You have better things to do.
408
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,136
[door opens]
409
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,874
[stall door creaks]
410
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,082
[taps]
411
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:57,757
Yeah, oh yeah!
That's it! Yeah!
412
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,327
We're gonna get abortion rights
thrown the hell out
413
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,230
so those dirty lesbians
can't keep having abortions!
414
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,198
- Yeah! Oh, yeah, man!
415
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,467
- We're gonna get those Black
Lives Matter protestors
416
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,369
off the streets
with a fire hose!
417
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,705
- Yeah, America!
both: Yeah!
418
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:12,839
Rick!
419
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,908
- [bleep] you.
420
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,512
- Well, to hell with you!
421
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,080
Nobody controls me!
422
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,250
- Yeah!
- Yeah! America! Yeah!
423
00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:26,603
[electronic music pounding]
424
00:16:26,603 --> 00:16:30,374
[police radio chatter]
425
00:16:30,374 --> 00:16:32,109
♪ ♪
426
00:16:32,109 --> 00:16:33,577
[knock at door]
427
00:16:35,045 --> 00:16:36,747
- Can I help you?
428
00:16:36,747 --> 00:16:38,515
- We've had some complaints
about a party
429
00:16:38,515 --> 00:16:40,550
that's been going on
for three days here.
430
00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:41,852
- Hey, what's going on?
431
00:16:41,852 --> 00:16:43,453
[laughs]
432
00:16:43,453 --> 00:16:45,956
All right, guys,
who ordered the stripper?
433
00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:47,958
- Can we come in
and look around, sir?
434
00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:50,027
- Oh, yeah! Come on in.
435
00:16:50,027 --> 00:16:52,095
[smack]
Honk honk!
436
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,430
- All right,
get down on the ground!
437
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,332
- Whoa, whoa! No, no, no.
It's okay.
438
00:16:55,332 --> 00:16:56,900
I'm just helping my boy
439
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,402
through the media assault
on manliness.
440
00:16:58,402 --> 00:17:01,738
[Taser crackles]
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
441
00:17:01,738 --> 00:17:03,240
- I need to see some ID, sir.
442
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,243
- Uh! Okay!
Okay, Stan! Stan!
443
00:17:06,243 --> 00:17:08,178
[rattles dice, throws]
- Yeah?
444
00:17:08,178 --> 00:17:10,580
- Can you get my wallet
from the upstairs?
445
00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:12,783
- Yeah, soon as we're done
with this psyker phase.
446
00:17:12,783 --> 00:17:14,151
I have five psyker units.
447
00:17:14,151 --> 00:17:16,453
- Oh, my God.
This is so embarrassing.
448
00:17:17,854 --> 00:17:20,624
- Hey! Freeze!
You, right there!
449
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:23,794
- That's Alonzo Fineski,
the Romanian sex trafficker!
450
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:25,095
- [bleep] you, big man!
451
00:17:25,095 --> 00:17:26,530
[fires gun]
452
00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:27,931
[gunfire]
453
00:17:27,931 --> 00:17:29,700
- Ahh! Oh, my God!
454
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,501
- [grunts]
- Ahh!
455
00:17:31,501 --> 00:17:34,604
[gunfire]
456
00:17:34,604 --> 00:17:37,374
Stan? Stan?
457
00:17:37,374 --> 00:17:40,544
[indistinct chatter,
PA announcement]
458
00:17:40,544 --> 00:17:43,513
[somber music]
459
00:17:43,513 --> 00:17:46,216
♪ ♪
460
00:17:46,216 --> 00:17:48,118
- And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
461
00:17:48,118 --> 00:17:50,053
here he is,
462
00:17:50,053 --> 00:17:52,456
the once and future president
463
00:17:52,456 --> 00:17:54,358
of the United States
of America!
464
00:17:54,358 --> 00:17:57,427
[cheers and applause]
465
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:04,000
- Thank you.
I am here today
466
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,103
for those who have
been wronged.
467
00:18:06,103 --> 00:18:07,604
[cheering]
468
00:18:07,604 --> 00:18:10,874
For those who have been
betrayed.
469
00:18:10,874 --> 00:18:13,276
And let me tell you
470
00:18:13,276 --> 00:18:17,114
that nobody in this country
has been betrayed more
471
00:18:17,114 --> 00:18:19,383
than my Ricky Rick.
472
00:18:19,383 --> 00:18:21,318
- Huh? What?
[confused clamoring]
473
00:18:21,318 --> 00:18:25,021
- Rick, I am so sorry.
474
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,723
And if you are out there,
475
00:18:26,723 --> 00:18:29,659
I want you to know
that I love you.
476
00:18:29,659 --> 00:18:31,795
You are the only thing
that keeps me from doing
477
00:18:31,795 --> 00:18:34,264
all this stupid stuff.
478
00:18:34,264 --> 00:18:37,134
When I met you,
I felt in control of myself
479
00:18:37,134 --> 00:18:39,002
for the first time.
480
00:18:39,002 --> 00:18:42,906
There has never been anyone
who calmed me down more
481
00:18:42,906 --> 00:18:46,009
than my little Ricky Bear.
482
00:18:46,009 --> 00:18:48,111
You are my boo.
483
00:18:48,111 --> 00:18:51,948
- Did he just say
that Rick is his boo?
484
00:18:51,948 --> 00:18:56,153
- The truth is, some of us
simply can't be alone.
485
00:18:56,153 --> 00:19:01,224
We need a relationship so that
we're accountable to someone.
486
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:04,194
I realize now
how broken I am
487
00:19:04,194 --> 00:19:08,865
without that person who keeps
me from destroying myself.
488
00:19:08,865 --> 00:19:10,434
- Sh-Sharon?
489
00:19:10,434 --> 00:19:14,204
- And all I've ever done
was take you for granted
490
00:19:14,204 --> 00:19:16,873
and wished I wasn't
being controlled.
491
00:19:16,873 --> 00:19:19,810
- [sobbing]
Hi, Sharon.
492
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:22,879
Will you please come home?
493
00:19:22,879 --> 00:19:26,450
- Rick, I am a giant
piece of shit without you.
494
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:29,052
I don't deserve
another chance.
495
00:19:29,052 --> 00:19:30,854
You have been wronged.
496
00:19:30,854 --> 00:19:33,089
You have been betrayed.
497
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:38,495
And the only person
who deserves retribution is me.
498
00:19:39,362 --> 00:19:43,567
I know you all really want
to rally and rage, but...
499
00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:46,636
the only thing
I have to say is...
500
00:19:46,636 --> 00:19:50,941
is that I love Rick.
[pounding podium]
501
00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:55,612
I love Rick!
I love Rick!
502
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,981
[together]
I love Rick.
503
00:19:57,981 --> 00:19:59,916
I love Rick.
504
00:19:59,916 --> 00:20:04,454
I love Rick!
I love Rick!
505
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,590
[all chanting]
I love Rick!
506
00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:08,325
I love Rick!
- I love you, Rick!
507
00:20:08,325 --> 00:20:11,428
all: I love Rick!
I love Rick!
508
00:20:11,428 --> 00:20:13,563
I love Rick!
- Yeah!
509
00:20:13,563 --> 00:20:16,199
all: I love Rick!
[all clamoring]
510
00:20:16,199 --> 00:20:18,401
I love Rick!
I love Rick!
511
00:20:18,401 --> 00:20:21,238
I love Rick! I love Rick!
512
00:20:21,238 --> 00:20:22,472
I love Rick!
513
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,407
- Oh, crap.
Here we go again!
514
00:20:24,407 --> 00:20:26,109
all: I love Rick!
I love Rick!
515
00:20:26,109 --> 00:20:27,277
I love--
516
00:20:27,277 --> 00:20:31,414
- [sobbing softly]
517
00:20:40,390 --> 00:20:42,526
- It's okay, Randy.
We're back.
518
00:20:42,526 --> 00:20:46,463
- I'm sorry
I cut your trip short.
519
00:20:46,463 --> 00:20:48,265
- [sighs] It's okay, Randy.
520
00:20:48,265 --> 00:20:50,534
You made it longer
than last spring break.
521
00:20:56,239 --> 00:20:58,408
- Oh. Hey, Mom.
- Stanley,
522
00:20:58,408 --> 00:21:00,076
what have I told you
about playing "Warhammer"
523
00:21:00,076 --> 00:21:02,546
on the kitchen table?
- Aw!
524
00:21:18,995 --> 00:21:20,897
- Oh, Rick!
525
00:21:23,567 --> 00:21:26,403
I don't wanna go
through all that again.
526
00:21:26,403 --> 00:21:29,739
I just wanna stay
in South Park with you.
527
00:21:29,739 --> 00:21:33,577
- Well, I guess we'll just
have to see what happens.
528
00:21:40,817 --> 00:21:44,387
[twangy music]
529
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:48,308
[twangy music]
530
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:55,448
♪ ♪