1 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:19,687 Out west there was this fella, 2 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,897 fella I want to tell you about, 3 00:00:21,981 --> 00:00:25,192 fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski - 4 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,696 at least that's the handle his parents gave him. 5 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:32,241 But he never had much use for it himself. 6 00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:36,203 This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. 7 00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:40,708 Now, Dude, that's a name no one would self-apply 8 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,710 where I come from. 9 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:47,590 There was a lot about the Dude that didn't make sense to me, 10 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,926 and a lot about where he lived, likewise. 11 00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,513 But then again, 12 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:58,601 maybe that's why I found the place so darn interesting. 13 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:06,442 They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. 14 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:09,695 I didn't find it to be that exactly. 15 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:13,032 But there are some nice folks there. 16 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:16,494 'Course I can't say I seen London, 17 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,996 and I never been to France, 18 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:23,000 and I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies. 19 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:26,087 But I'll tell you what, 20 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,339 after seeing Los Angeles 21 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:31,300 and this story I'm about to unfold, 22 00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:35,888 well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' 23 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:38,766 as you'd see in any other places, 24 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:41,060 and in English, too. 25 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,979 So I can die with a smile on my face 26 00:01:44,063 --> 00:01:47,274 without feeling like the good Lord gypped me. 27 00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:50,027 Now, this story I'm about to unfold 28 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,279 took place back in the early 90s, 29 00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:57,284 about the time of our conflict with Saddam and the Iraqis. 30 00:01:57,368 --> 00:02:00,788 I only mention it 'cause sometimes there's a man - 31 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:05,000 I won't say a hero, 'cause what's a hero? 32 00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:08,003 But sometimes there's a man - 33 00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:11,090 and I'm talking about the Dude here - 34 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,718 sometimes there's a man... 35 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:18,556 Well, he's the man for his time and place. 36 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,808 He fits right in there, 37 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,519 and that's the Dude, 38 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,563 in Los Angeles. 39 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,482 And even if he's a lazy man, 40 00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,527 and the Dude was most certainly that, 41 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:35,197 quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles county, 42 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:37,199 which would place him high 43 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:40,411 in the running for laziest worldwide. 44 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,830 But sometimes there's a man, 45 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,874 sometimes... 46 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:47,043 there's a man... 47 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:51,088 Wow, lost my train of thought here. 48 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:54,300 But... ah, hell. 49 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,218 I done introduced him enough. 50 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:59,472 'This will not stand. 51 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:03,392 'This will not stand, this aggression against Kuwait.' 52 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,383 Where's the money, Lebowski? 53 00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:40,805 I want that money, Lebowski. Bunny says you're good for it. 54 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,516 Where's the money, Lebowski? 55 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,810 Where's the money, Lebowski? 56 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,187 Where's the fucking money, shithead? 57 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:53,776 It's down there somewhere. Let me take another look. 58 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,779 Don't fuck with us! 59 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,242 Your wife owes money to Jackie Treehorn. 60 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:04,370 That means you owe money to Jackie Treehorn. 61 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:07,289 Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski. 62 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,833 Don't do that... 63 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,295 - Not on the rug, man. - See? 64 00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:16,507 See what happens, Lebowski? You see what happens? 65 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,635 Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong man. 66 00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:21,429 I'm the Dude, man. 67 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:25,683 Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny. 68 00:04:26,726 --> 00:04:29,395 My... my wife... my wife, Bunny? 69 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,647 Do you see a wedding ring? 70 00:04:31,731 --> 00:04:34,024 Does this place look like I'm married? 71 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,485 The toilet seat's up, man. 72 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,870 What the fuck is this? 73 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:49,123 0bviously, you're not a golfer. 74 00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:53,252 - Woo? - Yeah? 75 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:56,797 Isn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire? 76 00:04:56,881 --> 00:04:58,632 Fuck! 77 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:03,554 - Yeah, what do you think? - He looks like a fucking loser. 78 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,515 Hey, at least I'm housebroken. 79 00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:10,519 Fucking time wasted. Thanks a lot, asshole. 80 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:23,611 I'm throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude. 81 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:27,114 This was a valued rug. This was a... 82 00:07:27,198 --> 00:07:30,117 It really tied the room together. 83 00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:32,328 So this was a valued... 84 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,121 - What tied the room together? - My rug. 85 00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:36,123 - Were you listening, Donny? - What? 86 00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:38,667 Were you listening to the Dude's story? 87 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:40,127 I was bowling. 88 00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:44,256 You have no frame of reference, like a child who wanders in... 89 00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:46,175 Walter, what's the point? 90 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:48,344 There's no reason - here's my point, Dude - 91 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,805 - there's no reason... - Yeah, what's your point? 92 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:53,182 - Huh? - Walter, what is the point... 93 00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,684 We know who is at fault here. 94 00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:57,728 What the fuck are you talking about? 95 00:07:57,812 --> 00:08:00,564 No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... 96 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:03,692 We're talking about unchecked aggression here. 97 00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:05,528 - What is he talking about? - My rug. 98 00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:08,072 Forget it, you're out of your element. 99 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:11,992 The Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill. 100 00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:14,787 So what the fuck are you talking about? 101 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,997 The Chinaman is not the issue here. 102 00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:20,126 I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand. 103 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:22,503 Across this line, you do not... 104 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:26,173 Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. 105 00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,217 "Asian-American," please. 106 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:31,887 This isn't a guy who built the railroads here... 107 00:08:31,971 --> 00:08:34,473 - What the fuck... - He peed on my rug. 108 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:38,352 - He peed on the Dude's rug. - You're out of your element! 109 00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:41,313 Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here. 110 00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:43,691 - So, who... who... - Jeff Lebowski. 111 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:47,486 The other Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionaire. 112 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:50,406 That's fucking interesting, man. That's fucking interesting. 113 00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:53,617 Plus, he has the wealth and the resources... 114 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,287 so there's no reason, no fucking reason 115 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,998 why his wife should go out, owe money, 116 00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:01,667 and then they pee on your fucking rug! 117 00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,502 - Am I wrong? - No. 118 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,254 - Am I wrong? - But... 119 00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:07,173 0K, then. 120 00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:10,926 That rug really tied the room together, did it not? 121 00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:13,220 - Fuckin' A! - And he peed on it. 122 00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:14,889 Donny, please. 123 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:17,850 I could find this fucking Lebowski guy. 124 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:21,103 His name is Lebowski? That's your name, Dude. 125 00:09:21,187 --> 00:09:24,690 He should compensate me for the fucking rug. 126 00:09:24,774 --> 00:09:28,486 His wife owes money, and they pee on my rug? 127 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:32,281 - They pee on your fucking rug. - They peed on my fucking rug. 128 00:09:32,365 --> 00:09:34,158 That's right, Dude. 129 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,453 They peed on your fucking rug. 130 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:42,333 This is the study. The various commendations... 131 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,502 Jeffrey Lebowski. 132 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,797 - Honorary degrees, etcetera. - Very impressive. 133 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,383 0h, please feel free to inspect them. 134 00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:53,886 - 0h, I'm not really that... - 0h, please, please. 135 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,389 That is the key to the city of Pasadena, 136 00:09:56,472 --> 00:10:00,935 which Mr Lebowski received in recognition of various civic... 137 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,853 0h, that's the Los Angeles 138 00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:05,731 Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever Award, 139 00:10:05,815 --> 00:10:08,401 which is... not necessarily given every year. 140 00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:11,946 Hey, is this, uh, is this him with Nancy? 141 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:16,158 Yes, indeed, that is Mr Lebowski with the First Lady... 142 00:10:16,242 --> 00:10:18,828 That's Lebowski on the left there? 143 00:10:18,911 --> 00:10:21,539 0f course. Mr Lebowski on the left... 144 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:24,709 He's a cripple... you know, a... handicapped guy? 145 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:28,254 Mr Lebowski is disabled, yes. This picture was taken 146 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:31,340 when Mrs Reagan was First Lady of the nation. 147 00:10:31,424 --> 00:10:34,385 - Yes, yes. Not of California. - Pope John. 148 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,971 He met privately with the president, 149 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,682 but there was no time for a photo opportunity. 150 00:10:39,765 --> 00:10:41,976 - Nancy's pretty good. - Wonderful woman! 151 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,894 These are... 152 00:10:43,978 --> 00:10:47,189 Those are Mr Lebowski's children, so to speak. 153 00:10:47,273 --> 00:10:49,400 Different mothers? Racially, pretty cool. 154 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:53,863 They're not literally his children. 155 00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:56,282 They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, 156 00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,743 inner-city children of promise 157 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:01,620 but without the means for a higher education. 158 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:04,540 Mr Lebowski is committed to sending them to college. 159 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,209 Excuse me. Thank you, thank you. 160 00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:10,254 Far out. Think he's got room for one more? 161 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,631 0ne, uh... 0h! 162 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:17,136 You never went to college. Please, don't touch that. 163 00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:20,139 Yeah, I did, but I spent most of my time... 164 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:23,267 occupying various administration buildings, 165 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,352 smoking a lot of Thai stick, 166 00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:28,064 breaking into the R.0.T.C. And bowling. 167 00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:30,608 To tell you the truth, I don't remember much. 168 00:11:36,197 --> 00:11:39,492 0K, sir, you're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski, 169 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,494 that's terrific. 170 00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:44,622 But I'm very busy, as I imagine you are. 171 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,083 What can I do for you, sir? 172 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:50,711 Well, sir, it's this rug I have, 173 00:11:50,795 --> 00:11:53,672 it really tied the room together... 174 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:57,593 You told Brandt, he told me. Where do I fit in? 175 00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,930 Well, they were looking for you, these guys. 176 00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:03,057 I'll say it again. 177 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:06,310 You told Brandt on the phone, he told me. 178 00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:08,229 I know what happened. Yes? 179 00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:11,857 So you know that they were trying to piss on your rug? 180 00:12:11,941 --> 00:12:14,360 Did I urinate on your rug? 181 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:17,029 Did you personally come and pee on my rug? 182 00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:20,366 Hello! Do you speak English? Parla usted ingles? 183 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,494 I'll ask you again. Did I urinate on your rug? 184 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,664 No, like I said, Woo peed on my rug. 185 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,916 I want to understand this, sir. 186 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:32,712 Every time a rug is micturated upon in this city, 187 00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,422 I have to compensate... 188 00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:38,342 Come on, man, I'm not trying to scam anybody here. 189 00:12:38,426 --> 00:12:40,219 I... I was just... 190 00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:43,764 You're just looking for a handout like every other... 191 00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:46,642 Are you employed, Mr Lebowski? 192 00:12:46,726 --> 00:12:50,354 Wait, let me explain something to you. 193 00:12:50,438 --> 00:12:53,899 I am not Mr Lebowski. You're Mr Lebowski. 194 00:12:53,983 --> 00:12:56,944 I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me, 195 00:12:57,028 --> 00:13:00,448 you know, uh, that or, uh, his Dudeness, 196 00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:03,492 or Duder, or, you know, uh, el Duderino, 197 00:13:03,576 --> 00:13:06,704 if you're not into the whole brevity thing. 198 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:10,291 - Are you employed, sir? - Employed? 199 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:15,671 You don't look for a job dressed like that on a weekday? 200 00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:18,799 Is this a... What day is this? 201 00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:22,428 Well, I do work, sir. So if you don't mind... 202 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:24,847 No, I do mind. The Dude minds. 203 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,974 This will not stand, you know. 204 00:13:27,058 --> 00:13:30,186 This aggression will not stand, man. 205 00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:34,231 - I mean, your wife owes... - My wife is not the issue! 206 00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:38,402 I hope that my wife will learn to live on her ample allowance. 207 00:13:38,486 --> 00:13:41,781 If not, that's her problem, not mine, 208 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,866 just as the rug is your problem, 209 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:48,454 just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility, 210 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,915 regardless of who he chooses to blame. 211 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,126 I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. 212 00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:57,046 Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea. 213 00:13:57,129 --> 00:14:00,257 But I went out and achieved anyway. 214 00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:04,220 I cannot solve your problems, sir, only you can. 215 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,349 - 0h, fuck it. - "0h, fuck it." 216 00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:11,143 Yes, that's your answer to everything. 217 00:14:11,227 --> 00:14:12,686 Tattoo it on your forehead. 218 00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:16,065 Your revolution is over, Mr Lebowski! 219 00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:18,776 Condolences! The bums lost! 220 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:22,530 My advice to you is to do what your parents did! 221 00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:24,407 Get a job, sir! 222 00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:28,661 The bums will always lose! Do you hear me, Lebowski? 223 00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:30,246 The bums... 224 00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:34,625 How was your meeting, Mr Lebowski? 225 00:14:34,709 --> 00:14:39,213 0K. The old man told me to take any rug in the house. 226 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:43,467 Well, enjoy, and perhaps we'll see you again, Dude. 227 00:14:43,551 --> 00:14:47,471 Sure, if I'm in the neighbourhood, you know, 228 00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:49,432 and, um... 229 00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,851 I need to use the john. 230 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,822 Blow on them. 231 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,283 Go ahead, blow. 232 00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:12,163 You want me to blow on your toes? 233 00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:15,499 Uh-huh. I can't blow that far. 234 00:15:22,048 --> 00:15:24,008 Are you sure he won't mind? 235 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:27,887 He doesn't care about anything. He's a nihilist. 236 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,556 0h, that must be exhausting. 237 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,433 You're not blowing. 238 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:35,478 He has to be getting along, Mrs Lebowski. 239 00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,730 0h, you're Bunny. 240 00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:41,484 I'll suck your cock for $1,000. 241 00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:47,365 Wonderful woman. 242 00:15:47,448 --> 00:15:50,117 We're very fond of her. Very free-spirited. 243 00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:52,870 Brandt can't watch, or he has to pay 100. 244 00:15:53,788 --> 00:15:55,456 That's marvellous. 245 00:15:57,583 --> 00:16:01,379 I'm just gonna go find a cash machine. 246 00:16:05,049 --> 00:16:07,760 Whoo! Slamming them tonight! 247 00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:10,012 You guys are dead in the water. 248 00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:12,890 All right! Way to go, Donny! 249 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:16,685 If you will it, it is no dream. 250 00:16:16,769 --> 00:16:19,897 You're 20 minutes late, man. What the fuck is that? 251 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,899 Theodore Herzel. 252 00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:26,070 The state of Israel. If you will it, Dude, it is no dream. 253 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,907 The carrier. What's in the fucking carrier? 254 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:33,577 0h, Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. 255 00:16:33,661 --> 00:16:35,830 I can't leave him, he eats the furniture. 256 00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:38,457 I'm watching it while they're in Hawaii. 257 00:16:38,541 --> 00:16:41,961 - You brought it bowling? - "Brought it bowling"? 258 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:45,214 I didn't rent it shoes, I'm not buying it a beer, 259 00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,425 he's not taking your turn, Dude. 260 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:50,886 If my ex-wife asked me to take care of her dog 261 00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:53,681 while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, 262 00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:55,516 I'd tell her to fuck herself. 263 00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:57,643 Dude, you don't have an ex, 264 00:16:57,727 --> 00:17:00,771 and this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers. 265 00:17:00,855 --> 00:17:05,443 You can't board it. It gets upset. Its hair falls out. 266 00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:07,570 0ver the line! 267 00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:11,115 Sorry, you were over the line. That's a foul. 268 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:13,200 Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude. 269 00:17:13,284 --> 00:17:16,162 Excuse me, mark it zero. Next frame. 270 00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:18,497 Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude. 271 00:17:18,581 --> 00:17:21,876 This is not 'Nam, this is bowling. There are rules. 272 00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:24,295 Hey, Walter, come on, it's Smokey. 273 00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:27,548 His toe slipped over. It's just a game. 274 00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:31,218 It determines who enters the round-robin. Am I wrong? 275 00:17:31,302 --> 00:17:33,095 - Yeah, but... - Am I wrong? 276 00:17:33,179 --> 00:17:35,139 Yeah, but I wasn't over. 277 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:37,933 Give me the marker, Dude. I'm marking an 8. 278 00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:41,645 Smokey, my friend, you're entering a world of pain. 279 00:17:41,729 --> 00:17:44,231 - Walter... - You mark that frame an 8, 280 00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:47,234 you're entering a world of pain. 281 00:17:47,318 --> 00:17:50,112 - I'm not... - A world of pain. 282 00:17:50,196 --> 00:17:52,615 Look, Dude, this is your partner. 283 00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:54,492 Has the world gone crazy? 284 00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:57,370 Am I the only one who cares about the rules? 285 00:17:57,453 --> 00:17:58,829 Mark it zero! 286 00:17:58,913 --> 00:18:02,041 - They're calling the cops. - Mark it zero! 287 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,835 - Put the piece away. - Walter... 288 00:18:04,919 --> 00:18:07,546 You think I'm fucking around? Mark it zero! 289 00:18:14,512 --> 00:18:16,555 All right, it's fucking zero. 290 00:18:16,639 --> 00:18:19,975 You happy, you crazy fuck? 291 00:18:21,352 --> 00:18:23,729 It's a league game, Smoke. 292 00:18:26,691 --> 00:18:27,942 You can't do that, man. 293 00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:30,403 These guys are like me. They're pacifists. 294 00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:32,530 Smokey was a conscientious objector. 295 00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:35,366 I myself dabbled in pacifism, 296 00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:37,535 not in 'Nam, of course. 297 00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:40,204 You know he's got emotional problems. 298 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,623 You mean, beyond pacifism? 299 00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:46,210 He's fragile, very fragile. 300 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:50,047 I did not know that. 301 00:18:50,131 --> 00:18:53,300 Well, it's all water under the bridge, 302 00:18:53,384 --> 00:18:56,011 and we do enter the next round-robin. 303 00:18:56,095 --> 00:18:58,597 - Am I wrong? - No, you're not wrong. 304 00:18:58,681 --> 00:19:01,934 - Am I wrong? - No, you're just an asshole! 305 00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:05,646 0K. We play Quintana and 0'Brien next week. 306 00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:08,441 They should be pushovers. 307 00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:11,027 Man, will you just... 308 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:13,362 Just take it easy, man. 309 00:19:13,446 --> 00:19:15,781 That's your answer for everything, Dude. 310 00:19:15,865 --> 00:19:20,953 Look at our current situation with that camelfucker in Iraq. 311 00:19:21,037 --> 00:19:23,372 Pacifism is not something to hide behind. 312 00:19:23,456 --> 00:19:25,666 Just take it easy, man. 313 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,710 I'm perfectly calm, Dude. 314 00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:31,297 - Waving the fucking gun around? - Calmer than you are. 315 00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:33,090 Just take it easy! 316 00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:36,135 Calmer than you are. 317 00:19:40,139 --> 00:19:42,266 'Dude, this is Smokey. 318 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,435 'I don't want to be a hard-on about this. 319 00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:46,479 'I know it wasn't your fault, 320 00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:49,982 'but Gilbert and I will submit this to the league 321 00:19:50,066 --> 00:19:52,693 'and ask them to set aside the round, 322 00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:54,820 'maybe forfeit it to us. 323 00:19:54,904 --> 00:19:57,740 'So, like I say, you know, fair warning. 324 00:19:57,823 --> 00:19:59,867 'Tell Walter. I'm sorry.' 325 00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:05,664 'Mr Lebowski, this is Brandt at, uh, 326 00:20:05,748 --> 00:20:08,292 'well, at Mr Lebowski's office. 327 00:20:08,376 --> 00:20:10,753 'Please, call us when it's convenient.' 328 00:20:12,838 --> 00:20:16,425 'This is Bill Selliger of the Southern Cal Bowling League. 329 00:20:16,509 --> 00:20:18,594 'I just got an informal report 330 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:22,223 'that a member of your team, a Walter Sobchak, 331 00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:25,017 'drew a firearm during play. 332 00:20:25,101 --> 00:20:29,105 'This contravenes a number of by-laws and article 27... ' 333 00:20:30,356 --> 00:20:32,858 - Dude. - Hey, Monty. 334 00:20:32,942 --> 00:20:37,238 Dude, I... I finally got... the venue I wanted. 335 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:40,908 I'm performing my dance quintet, you know, my cycle, 336 00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:44,203 at Crane Jackson's Fountain Street Theatre on Tuesday night. 337 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:48,582 And, well, I'd love it if you came and gave me notes. 338 00:20:48,666 --> 00:20:50,584 I'll be there, man. 339 00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:56,465 Tomorrow's already the 10th. 340 00:20:56,549 --> 00:20:58,426 Far out. 341 00:21:01,387 --> 00:21:03,681 0h. 0h, all right, 0K. 342 00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:06,392 Just slip the rent under my door. 343 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,147 '... serious infraction 344 00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:13,899 'and examine your standing. Thank you.' 345 00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:18,446 'Mr Lebowski, Brandt again. 346 00:21:18,529 --> 00:21:21,741 'Please, call when you get in, and I'll send a limo. 347 00:21:21,824 --> 00:21:25,703 'I hope you're not avoiding this call because of the rug, 348 00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:28,664 'which, I assure you, is not a problem. 349 00:21:28,748 --> 00:21:30,833 'We need your help, and, uh... 350 00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:33,210 'well, we'd like to see you. 351 00:21:33,294 --> 00:21:35,087 'Thank you. It's Brandt.' 352 00:21:36,505 --> 00:21:40,051 We've had terrible news. Mr Lebowski's in seclusion. 353 00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:46,807 Mr Lebowski. 354 00:21:52,146 --> 00:21:54,690 Funny... 355 00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:58,861 I can look back on a life of achievement, 356 00:21:58,944 --> 00:22:01,197 challenges met, 357 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,240 competitors bested, 358 00:22:03,324 --> 00:22:06,077 obstacles overcome. 359 00:22:06,911 --> 00:22:10,748 I've accomplished more than most men 360 00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:13,417 and without the use of my legs. 361 00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:16,087 What... 362 00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:19,757 What makes a man, Mr Lebowski? 363 00:22:20,966 --> 00:22:23,177 Dude. 364 00:22:24,929 --> 00:22:27,723 I... I don't know, sir. 365 00:22:27,807 --> 00:22:30,976 Is it being prepared to do the right thing? 366 00:22:32,603 --> 00:22:34,939 Whatever the cost? 367 00:22:35,022 --> 00:22:37,858 Isn't that what makes a man? 368 00:22:37,942 --> 00:22:40,027 Sure, that and a pair of testicles. 369 00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:43,489 You're joking. But... 370 00:22:45,241 --> 00:22:47,368 Perhaps you're right. 371 00:22:47,451 --> 00:22:49,954 You mind if I do a "J"? 372 00:22:51,122 --> 00:22:52,456 Bunny... 373 00:22:53,958 --> 00:22:56,043 Excuse me? 374 00:22:56,127 --> 00:22:58,671 Bunny Lebowski, 375 00:22:58,754 --> 00:23:01,674 she is the light of my life. 376 00:23:01,757 --> 00:23:04,885 Are you surprised at my tears, sir? 377 00:23:06,595 --> 00:23:08,806 Fuckin' A. 378 00:23:08,889 --> 00:23:12,143 Strong men also cry. 379 00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:16,397 Strong men also cry. 380 00:23:18,649 --> 00:23:21,861 I received this fax this morning. 381 00:23:24,321 --> 00:23:26,532 As you can see, 382 00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:28,659 it is a ransom note. 383 00:23:28,743 --> 00:23:31,620 "We have Bunnie." 384 00:23:31,704 --> 00:23:36,208 Sent by men who can't achieve on a level field of play. 385 00:23:36,292 --> 00:23:39,003 "Gather one million dollars 386 00:23:39,086 --> 00:23:42,131 in unmarked, non-consecutive twenties." 387 00:23:42,214 --> 00:23:45,134 - Weaklings! - "Await instructions." 388 00:23:45,217 --> 00:23:47,011 - Bums! - "No funny stuff." 389 00:23:47,094 --> 00:23:50,598 - Bummer. - Huh? 390 00:23:50,681 --> 00:23:52,641 This is a bummer, man. 391 00:23:52,725 --> 00:23:54,602 That's, uh, that's a bummer. 392 00:23:54,685 --> 00:23:58,439 Brandt will fill you in on the details. 393 00:24:12,495 --> 00:24:15,831 Mr Lebowski will make you a generous offer 394 00:24:15,915 --> 00:24:19,960 to act as courier once we get instructions for the money. 395 00:24:20,044 --> 00:24:21,504 Why me, man? 396 00:24:21,587 --> 00:24:24,673 He believes the culprits might be the people 397 00:24:24,757 --> 00:24:27,259 who, uh... soiled your rug, 398 00:24:27,343 --> 00:24:31,931 and you're in a unique position to confirm or disconfirm this. 399 00:24:32,014 --> 00:24:34,308 He thinks the carpet-pissers did this? 400 00:24:34,392 --> 00:24:36,936 Well, Dude, we just don't know. 401 00:26:13,157 --> 00:26:15,409 Fucking Quintana. 402 00:26:15,493 --> 00:26:17,912 That creep can roll, man. 403 00:26:17,995 --> 00:26:20,039 Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude. 404 00:26:20,122 --> 00:26:21,874 Yeah. 405 00:26:21,957 --> 00:26:24,960 No. He's a sex offender with a record. 406 00:26:25,044 --> 00:26:28,631 He did six months for exposing himself to an 8-year-old. 407 00:26:28,714 --> 00:26:31,842 When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door-to-door 408 00:26:31,926 --> 00:26:33,719 to tell everyone he was a pederast. 409 00:26:33,803 --> 00:26:36,180 What's a pederast, Walter? 410 00:26:36,263 --> 00:26:38,724 Shut the fuck up, Donny. 411 00:26:40,810 --> 00:26:44,397 - So... How much they give you? - 20 grand, man. 412 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:48,234 - And I get to keep the rug. - Just for making a hand-off? 413 00:26:48,317 --> 00:26:50,528 Yeah. They gave Dude a beeper. 414 00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:54,407 - So whenever they call... - What if it's during a game? 415 00:26:54,490 --> 00:26:58,411 - If it's during league play... - What's during league play? 416 00:26:58,494 --> 00:27:01,539 Life doesn't stop and start at your convenience, 417 00:27:01,622 --> 00:27:04,750 - you piece of shit. - What's wrong with Walter? 418 00:27:04,834 --> 00:27:07,503 I figure it's easy money. It's harmless. 419 00:27:07,586 --> 00:27:11,173 - She probably did it herself. - What do you mean, Dude? 420 00:27:11,257 --> 00:27:13,968 Rug pee-ers didn't do this. Look at it. 421 00:27:14,051 --> 00:27:18,013 A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. 422 00:27:18,097 --> 00:27:20,516 She figures he isn't giving her enough. 423 00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:22,560 You know, she owes money. 424 00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:26,397 - That fuckin'... bitch. - It's all goddamn fake, man. 425 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,649 It's like Lenin said. 426 00:27:28,733 --> 00:27:31,819 You look for the person who will benefit, 427 00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:35,072 - and, uh, you know... - I am the walrus? 428 00:27:35,156 --> 00:27:37,533 You know, you'll, uh... 429 00:27:37,616 --> 00:27:40,244 - You know what I'm saying. - I am the walrus. 430 00:27:40,327 --> 00:27:42,163 That fuckin' bitch! 431 00:27:42,246 --> 00:27:45,082 - I am the walrus. - Shut the fuck up, Donny! 432 00:27:45,166 --> 00:27:47,710 V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov! 433 00:27:47,793 --> 00:27:50,087 What the fuck is he talking about? 434 00:27:50,171 --> 00:27:53,215 Fucking exactly what happened. That makes me sick. 435 00:27:53,299 --> 00:27:56,010 - What do you care, Walter? - Those rich fucks. 436 00:27:56,093 --> 00:27:57,928 This whole fuckin' thing. 437 00:27:58,012 --> 00:28:01,015 I didn't watch my buddies die face-down in the mud 438 00:28:01,098 --> 00:28:04,185 so that this fucking strumpet, this fucking whore... 439 00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:06,729 I don't see any connection with Vietnam. 440 00:28:06,812 --> 00:28:08,314 No literal connection. 441 00:28:08,397 --> 00:28:11,359 Face it, there's no connection. Your roll. 442 00:28:11,442 --> 00:28:14,278 - But my point is... - Your roll. 443 00:28:14,362 --> 00:28:16,364 Are you ready to be fucked? 444 00:28:17,323 --> 00:28:20,910 I see you roll your way into the semis. 445 00:28:20,993 --> 00:28:23,662 Dios mio, man. 446 00:28:23,746 --> 00:28:26,832 Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up. 447 00:28:26,916 --> 00:28:31,295 Yeah? Well... you know, that's just like, uh... 448 00:28:31,379 --> 00:28:33,339 your opinion, man. 449 00:28:34,215 --> 00:28:37,009 Let me tell you something, pendejo, 450 00:28:37,093 --> 00:28:40,137 you pull any crazy shit with us, 451 00:28:40,221 --> 00:28:42,598 you flash a piece out on the lanes, 452 00:28:42,681 --> 00:28:45,768 I'll take it and stick it up your ass 453 00:28:45,851 --> 00:28:49,021 and pull the fuckin' trigger till it goes click. 454 00:28:49,772 --> 00:28:53,734 - Jesus. - You said it, man. 455 00:28:53,818 --> 00:28:56,946 Nobody fucks with the Jesus. 456 00:29:01,826 --> 00:29:03,911 8-year-olds, Dude. 457 00:30:55,106 --> 00:30:57,858 0hh, man. 458 00:31:07,952 --> 00:31:09,829 They called 80 minutes ago. 459 00:31:09,912 --> 00:31:12,707 Take the money, drive north on the 405. 460 00:31:12,790 --> 00:31:15,960 They will call you with instructions in 40 minutes. 461 00:31:16,043 --> 00:31:20,047 0ne person only. They were clear on that, or I'd go with you. 462 00:31:20,131 --> 00:31:22,883 - What happened to your jaw? - 0h, nothin'. 463 00:31:24,301 --> 00:31:28,139 Here's the money. And the phone. 464 00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:30,933 Please, Dude, follow their instructions. 465 00:31:31,016 --> 00:31:32,476 All right. 466 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:36,147 - Her life is in your hands. - 0h, man, don't say that. 467 00:31:36,230 --> 00:31:38,232 Mr Lebowski asked me to repeat that. 468 00:31:38,315 --> 00:31:40,651 - Her life is in your hands. - Shit, man. 469 00:31:40,735 --> 00:31:42,570 Her life is in your hands, Dude. 470 00:31:42,653 --> 00:31:45,614 Report back to us as soon as it's done. 471 00:31:54,415 --> 00:31:56,333 Where the fuck are you goin'? 472 00:31:56,417 --> 00:31:58,377 Take the ringer. I'll drive. 473 00:31:58,461 --> 00:32:01,130 - What? The what? - The ringer. 474 00:32:01,213 --> 00:32:03,174 The ringer, Dude. 475 00:32:10,431 --> 00:32:12,808 - What the... - Have they called? 476 00:32:12,892 --> 00:32:16,020 - What the hell is this? - My dirty undies, Dude. 477 00:32:16,103 --> 00:32:18,689 Laundry. The whites. 478 00:32:18,773 --> 00:32:22,526 I'm sure there's a reason you brought your dirty undies. 479 00:32:22,610 --> 00:32:24,779 The weight. The ringer cannot look empty. 480 00:32:24,862 --> 00:32:26,697 What the fuck are you thinking? 481 00:32:26,781 --> 00:32:29,158 You're right, Dude. I got to thinking, 482 00:32:29,241 --> 00:32:32,078 why should we settle for a measly fuckin' 20 grand... 483 00:32:32,161 --> 00:32:34,997 We? You said you just wanted to come along. 484 00:32:35,081 --> 00:32:37,500 Why should we settle for 20 grand 485 00:32:37,583 --> 00:32:40,252 when we can keep the entire million? Am I wrong? 486 00:32:40,336 --> 00:32:43,172 Yes, you're wrong. This isn't a game, man. 487 00:32:43,255 --> 00:32:45,591 It is a game. You said so yourself. 488 00:32:45,674 --> 00:32:48,344 - She kidnapped herself. - I said I thought... 489 00:32:54,225 --> 00:32:55,267 Dude here. 490 00:32:55,351 --> 00:32:57,478 'Who is this? ' 491 00:32:57,561 --> 00:33:01,190 Dude the bagman. Where do you want us to go? 492 00:33:01,273 --> 00:33:04,151 - 'Us? ' - Shit! 493 00:33:06,195 --> 00:33:09,740 Yeah, you know, me and the driver. 494 00:33:09,824 --> 00:33:13,160 I'm not handling the money, driving the car... 495 00:33:13,244 --> 00:33:16,205 - 'Shut the fuck up! ' - Are you fucking this up? 496 00:33:16,288 --> 00:33:18,374 Who is that? 497 00:33:18,457 --> 00:33:21,001 That is the driver. I told you... 498 00:33:22,712 --> 00:33:25,214 - Shit! - What the fuck's goin' on? 499 00:33:25,297 --> 00:33:27,466 - Walter! - What the fuck is goin' on? 500 00:33:27,550 --> 00:33:30,886 He hung up! You fucked it up! You fucked it up! 501 00:33:30,970 --> 00:33:33,806 - Her life was in our hands. - Easy, Dude. 502 00:33:33,889 --> 00:33:36,267 We're screwed now. We don't get shit. 503 00:33:36,350 --> 00:33:39,311 They're gonna kill her. We're fucked, Walter. 504 00:33:39,395 --> 00:33:42,815 Nothing is fucked, Dude. You're being very unDude. 505 00:33:42,898 --> 00:33:45,234 They'll call back. She kidnapped... 506 00:33:46,944 --> 00:33:50,281 You see? Nothing's fucked here, Dude. 507 00:33:50,364 --> 00:33:52,783 They're a bunch of fuckin' amateurs! 508 00:33:52,867 --> 00:33:55,244 Hey, will you shut the fuck up? 509 00:33:55,327 --> 00:33:58,247 Don't say peep while I'm doin' business here. 510 00:33:58,330 --> 00:34:00,666 0K, Dude, have it your way. 511 00:34:01,751 --> 00:34:04,420 - But they're amateurs. - Fuck. 512 00:34:05,713 --> 00:34:07,631 - Dude. - '0K, we proceed, 513 00:34:07,715 --> 00:34:09,884 'but only if there's no funny stuff.' 514 00:34:09,967 --> 00:34:11,844 Yeah, yeah. 515 00:34:11,927 --> 00:34:13,971 'So no funny stuff, 0K? ' 516 00:34:14,055 --> 00:34:16,724 Just tell me where the fuck to go. 517 00:34:20,478 --> 00:34:23,022 That was the sign, man. 518 00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:26,317 So all we gotta do is get her back. 519 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,653 No one can complain, and we keep the baksheesh. 520 00:34:29,737 --> 00:34:31,364 Terrific, Walter, 521 00:34:31,447 --> 00:34:33,991 but how are we gonna get her back? 522 00:34:34,075 --> 00:34:36,077 That's the simple part, Dude. 523 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:39,955 We make the hand-off, I grab one, beat it out of him. 524 00:34:40,039 --> 00:34:43,334 - Huh? - Yeah. That's a great plan. 525 00:34:43,417 --> 00:34:46,837 That's fucking ingenious, if I understand it correctly. 526 00:34:46,921 --> 00:34:48,964 It's a Swiss fuckin' watch. 527 00:34:49,048 --> 00:34:51,926 Yeah, the beauty of this is its simplicity. 528 00:34:52,009 --> 00:34:54,678 If it gets complex, everything can go wrong. 529 00:34:54,762 --> 00:34:56,847 If I learned one thing in 'Nam, it's... 530 00:35:00,643 --> 00:35:03,229 - Dude. - 'You're coming to a bridge. 531 00:35:03,312 --> 00:35:05,231 'When you cross the bridge, 532 00:35:05,314 --> 00:35:09,694 'you throw the bag from the left window. You're being watched.' 533 00:35:09,777 --> 00:35:11,320 Fuck! 534 00:35:11,404 --> 00:35:13,364 What'd he say? Where's the hand-off? 535 00:35:13,447 --> 00:35:16,909 There isn't one, we throw the money out of the car. 536 00:35:16,992 --> 00:35:20,538 We throw the money out of the moving car! 537 00:35:20,621 --> 00:35:23,999 We can't do that. That fucks up our plan. 538 00:35:24,083 --> 00:35:26,252 Call 'em and explain it to them. 539 00:35:26,335 --> 00:35:30,589 You're plan is so simple I'm sure they'll understand. 540 00:35:30,673 --> 00:35:34,427 I'm throwin' the money, Walter. We're not fuckin' around. 541 00:35:34,510 --> 00:35:36,804 Bridge is comin' up. Give me the ringer. 542 00:35:36,887 --> 00:35:40,391 Fuck that. I love ya, but you have to face the fact 543 00:35:40,474 --> 00:35:43,185 - you're a goddamn moron. - No time to argue. 544 00:35:43,269 --> 00:35:44,937 - Hey, man. - The bridge. 545 00:35:45,021 --> 00:35:47,481 Hey, Walter! Hey! Walter! 546 00:35:47,565 --> 00:35:49,775 There goes the ringer! 547 00:35:50,526 --> 00:35:52,611 - What the fuck? - Here, your wheel. 548 00:35:52,695 --> 00:35:56,699 At 15 mph, I roll out, grab one and beat it out of him. 549 00:35:56,782 --> 00:35:58,617 - The Uzi. - Uzi? 550 00:35:58,701 --> 00:36:01,037 - I'm not rolling out naked. - Walter, please! 551 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,997 15, Dude. This is it. 552 00:36:25,436 --> 00:36:28,814 We have it! We have it! 553 00:36:30,024 --> 00:36:32,985 We have it! 554 00:36:33,069 --> 00:36:35,196 We... have it! 555 00:36:48,584 --> 00:36:50,878 Aw, fuck it, Dude. 556 00:36:50,961 --> 00:36:53,047 Let's go bowling. 557 00:37:31,043 --> 00:37:34,255 Etz chaim he, Dude, as the ex used to say. 558 00:37:34,338 --> 00:37:36,382 What the fuck does that mean? 559 00:37:36,465 --> 00:37:38,968 What the fuck are we gonna tell Lebowski? 560 00:37:39,051 --> 00:37:40,970 Huh? 0h, him. Uh... 561 00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:45,516 Well, what exactly is the problem? 562 00:37:45,599 --> 00:37:47,643 The problem is... 563 00:37:47,727 --> 00:37:50,021 What do you mean, what's the... 564 00:37:50,104 --> 00:37:52,314 There was no... 565 00:37:52,398 --> 00:37:54,942 We... we didn't, uh... 566 00:37:55,026 --> 00:37:57,862 They're gonna kill that poor woman. 567 00:37:57,945 --> 00:38:00,072 The poor woman... 568 00:38:00,156 --> 00:38:03,784 That poor slut kidnapped herself. You said so yourself. 569 00:38:03,868 --> 00:38:06,454 I said I thought she kidnapped herself. 570 00:38:06,537 --> 00:38:09,915 - You're the one who's certain. - 100% certain. 571 00:38:09,999 --> 00:38:12,710 - They posted the next round. - Shut the fuck... 572 00:38:12,793 --> 00:38:15,379 - When do we play? - This Saturday. 573 00:38:15,463 --> 00:38:17,548 Saturday? They have to reschedule. 574 00:38:17,631 --> 00:38:19,300 What am I gonna tell Lebowski? 575 00:38:19,383 --> 00:38:21,886 I told that fuck at the league office... 576 00:38:21,969 --> 00:38:24,638 - Who's in charge of scheduling? - Burkhalter. 577 00:38:24,722 --> 00:38:27,767 I told that kraut I don't roll on Shabbos. 578 00:38:27,850 --> 00:38:30,811 - He already posted it. - He can fuckin' unpost it! 579 00:38:30,895 --> 00:38:34,231 Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that woman. 580 00:38:34,315 --> 00:38:36,400 What am I gonna tell Lebowski? 581 00:38:36,484 --> 00:38:39,278 She'll get tired of her game and go back. 582 00:38:39,362 --> 00:38:41,864 - Why not on Saturday? - I'm Shomer Shabbos. 583 00:38:41,947 --> 00:38:43,657 What's that? 584 00:38:43,741 --> 00:38:45,701 What do I tell Lebowski? 585 00:38:45,785 --> 00:38:48,496 Saturday is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. 586 00:38:48,579 --> 00:38:51,248 I don't work, I don't drive a car, 587 00:38:51,332 --> 00:38:54,001 I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, 588 00:38:54,085 --> 00:38:56,253 and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! 589 00:38:56,379 --> 00:38:58,130 Sheesh. 590 00:38:58,214 --> 00:39:00,424 Shomer Shabbos! 591 00:39:01,550 --> 00:39:04,595 - Walter, how am I gonna... - Shomer fucking Shabbos. 592 00:39:04,678 --> 00:39:08,224 - That's it! I'm outta here. - Come on, Dude. 593 00:39:10,351 --> 00:39:12,144 Dude! Dude! 594 00:39:12,228 --> 00:39:14,313 Look, you just tell him... 595 00:39:14,397 --> 00:39:17,566 Tell him we made the drop and everything went... 596 00:39:17,650 --> 00:39:20,277 - How'd it go? - Went all right. 597 00:39:20,361 --> 00:39:23,698 Walter, we didn't make the fuckin' hand-off. 598 00:39:23,781 --> 00:39:26,867 They didn't get the fuckin' money! They're gonna... 599 00:39:26,951 --> 00:39:31,622 They're gonna kill that poor woman. 600 00:39:31,706 --> 00:39:34,667 If you can't go by car, how do you get around on Shammos? 601 00:39:34,750 --> 00:39:36,627 Really, Dude, you surprise me. 602 00:39:36,711 --> 00:39:39,964 They're not gonna do shit. What can they do to her? 603 00:39:40,047 --> 00:39:41,424 They're amateurs, and meanwhile, 604 00:39:41,507 --> 00:39:45,428 who's sittin' on a million fucking dollars? Am I wrong? 605 00:39:46,178 --> 00:39:49,432 Who's got a million fuckin' dollars in our car? 606 00:39:49,515 --> 00:39:51,183 0ur car, Walter? 607 00:39:51,267 --> 00:39:55,021 What do they got? My dirty undies. My fuckin' whites. 608 00:39:59,483 --> 00:40:01,736 Say, Dude... 609 00:40:01,819 --> 00:40:04,739 where is your car? 610 00:40:04,822 --> 00:40:06,574 Who's got your undies? 611 00:40:06,657 --> 00:40:09,410 - Where's your car, Dude? - You don't know? 612 00:40:09,493 --> 00:40:13,706 It was parked in a handicap zone. Perhaps they towed it. 613 00:40:14,874 --> 00:40:17,710 You fuckin' know it's been stolen. 614 00:40:17,793 --> 00:40:21,714 Well, certainly, that's a possibility, Dude. 615 00:40:22,256 --> 00:40:24,592 0h, fuck it. 616 00:40:25,926 --> 00:40:29,555 - Where you goin', Dude? - I'm going home, Donny. 617 00:40:29,638 --> 00:40:32,850 - Phone's ringing, Dude. - Thank you, Donny. 618 00:40:46,072 --> 00:40:48,199 Uh... yeah... 619 00:40:50,743 --> 00:40:54,705 Green... uh, some brown or... 620 00:40:54,789 --> 00:40:57,166 rust colouration. 621 00:40:57,249 --> 00:41:00,252 Was there anything of value in the car? 622 00:41:00,336 --> 00:41:03,130 0h. Uh, yeah... 623 00:41:03,214 --> 00:41:06,509 a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, 624 00:41:06,592 --> 00:41:08,928 and there was a... uh... 625 00:41:10,346 --> 00:41:12,682 My briefcase. 626 00:41:13,557 --> 00:41:15,559 In the briefcase? 627 00:41:17,186 --> 00:41:19,897 Uh, papers. 628 00:41:19,980 --> 00:41:22,066 You know, just papers. 629 00:41:22,149 --> 00:41:25,486 You know, my papers. Business papers. 630 00:41:27,363 --> 00:41:29,365 And what do you do, sir? 631 00:41:29,448 --> 00:41:31,325 I'm unemployed. 632 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,331 My rug was also stolen. 633 00:41:37,415 --> 00:41:39,709 Your rug was in the car? 634 00:41:39,792 --> 00:41:41,711 No, here. 635 00:41:41,794 --> 00:41:44,130 Separate incidents? 636 00:41:45,047 --> 00:41:47,800 'The Dude is not in... ' 637 00:41:47,883 --> 00:41:51,095 Do you find them much, these stolen cars? 638 00:41:51,178 --> 00:41:53,889 Sometimes. 639 00:41:53,973 --> 00:41:57,810 - No hope for the tape deck. - 0r the Creedence. 640 00:41:57,893 --> 00:42:01,397 Well, what about, uh... 641 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,149 The briefcase? 642 00:42:03,232 --> 00:42:05,985 'Mr Lebowski, I'd like to see you. 643 00:42:06,068 --> 00:42:09,530 'My name is Maude Lebowski. I'm the one who took your rug.' 644 00:42:10,948 --> 00:42:14,744 Guess we can close the file on that one. 645 00:43:01,415 --> 00:43:03,667 Elfranco, ayúdame abajo. 646 00:43:03,751 --> 00:43:08,047 I'll be with you in a moment, Mr Lebowski. 647 00:43:26,315 --> 00:43:30,277 Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr Lebowski? 648 00:43:30,361 --> 00:43:32,488 Is that what this is a picture of? 649 00:43:32,571 --> 00:43:34,156 In a sense, yes. 650 00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:37,743 My art is strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. 651 00:43:37,827 --> 00:43:41,956 The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina. 652 00:43:42,039 --> 00:43:43,624 0h, yeah? 653 00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:47,128 They find it difficult to say, but without batting an eye, 654 00:43:47,211 --> 00:43:51,298 a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his... johnson. 655 00:43:52,341 --> 00:43:54,969 - Johnson? - All right, Mr Lebowski. 656 00:43:55,052 --> 00:43:56,846 Let's get down to cases. 657 00:43:56,929 --> 00:43:59,306 My father agreed to let you have the rug, 658 00:43:59,390 --> 00:44:01,809 but it was a gift from me to my late mother, 659 00:44:01,892 --> 00:44:03,853 and not his to give. Now... 660 00:44:03,936 --> 00:44:05,938 Your face. 661 00:44:06,022 --> 00:44:08,524 As for this kidnapping... 662 00:44:08,607 --> 00:44:12,778 I know all about it, and that you acted as courier. 663 00:44:12,862 --> 00:44:17,074 Let me tell you something. It stinks to high heaven. 664 00:44:17,158 --> 00:44:20,453 Right, but let me explain something about the rug. 665 00:44:20,536 --> 00:44:23,873 - Do you like sex, Mr Lebowski? - Excuse me? 666 00:44:23,956 --> 00:44:26,042 Sex. The physical act of love. 667 00:44:26,125 --> 00:44:28,210 Coitus. Do you like it? 668 00:44:28,294 --> 00:44:30,254 I was talking about my rug. 669 00:44:30,337 --> 00:44:33,841 - You're not interested in sex? - You mean coitus? 670 00:44:33,924 --> 00:44:37,928 I like it. It's a myth about feminists that we hate sex. 671 00:44:38,012 --> 00:44:42,016 It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But some people - 672 00:44:42,099 --> 00:44:44,810 satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women - 673 00:44:44,894 --> 00:44:47,563 engage in it compulsively and without joy. 674 00:44:47,646 --> 00:44:50,983 - 0h, no. - 0h, yes, Mr Lebowski. 675 00:44:51,067 --> 00:44:54,820 They cannot love in the true sense of the word. 676 00:44:54,904 --> 00:44:58,324 0ur mutual acquaintance, Bunny, is one of these. 677 00:44:58,407 --> 00:45:00,368 Listen, Maude, 678 00:45:00,451 --> 00:45:04,330 um, I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, 679 00:45:04,413 --> 00:45:07,124 but what has that to do with, uh... 680 00:45:07,208 --> 00:45:10,961 - Do you have any Kahlua? - Take a look at this, sir. 681 00:45:14,131 --> 00:45:16,592 0h, I know that guy. 682 00:45:17,218 --> 00:45:19,261 He's a nihilist. 683 00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,807 Karl Hungus... 684 00:45:36,028 --> 00:45:38,698 - 'Hi. - Hello. Meine dispatcher says 685 00:45:38,781 --> 00:45:41,492 'there's something wrong mit deine kabel. 686 00:45:41,575 --> 00:45:44,829 'Come in. I'm not sure exactly what's wrong. 687 00:45:44,912 --> 00:45:47,623 'Zat's why they sent me. I am an expert. 688 00:45:47,707 --> 00:45:48,708 'The TV's in here.' 689 00:45:48,791 --> 00:45:51,127 You recognise her, of course. 690 00:45:55,131 --> 00:45:58,384 'That's my friend. She came over to use the shower.' 691 00:45:58,467 --> 00:46:00,678 The story is ludicrous. 692 00:46:00,761 --> 00:46:03,848 'Meine name is Karl. Ich bin expert.' 693 00:46:03,931 --> 00:46:05,808 'You're here to fix the cable.' 694 00:46:05,891 --> 00:46:09,478 You can imagine where it goes from here. 695 00:46:09,562 --> 00:46:13,107 - He fixes the cable? - Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey. 696 00:46:13,190 --> 00:46:16,527 Little matter that she pursues a career in pornography 697 00:46:16,610 --> 00:46:18,863 nor that she's been "banging" Jackie Treehorn, 698 00:46:18,946 --> 00:46:21,365 to use the parlance of our times. 699 00:46:21,449 --> 00:46:25,327 But I am one of the two trustees of the Lebowski Foundation, 700 00:46:25,411 --> 00:46:27,288 the other being my father. 701 00:46:27,371 --> 00:46:29,290 The Foundation takes youngsters... 702 00:46:29,373 --> 00:46:31,208 Shit, yeah, the achievers. 703 00:46:31,292 --> 00:46:33,919 Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes. 704 00:46:34,003 --> 00:46:37,131 I asked my father about his withdrawal of $1 million, 705 00:46:37,214 --> 00:46:39,884 and he told me about this abduction. 706 00:46:39,967 --> 00:46:42,928 It is preposterous. This compulsive fornicator 707 00:46:43,012 --> 00:46:45,389 is taking my father for the proverbial ride. 708 00:46:45,473 --> 00:46:47,808 - But my... - I'm getting to your rug. 709 00:46:47,892 --> 00:46:49,769 My father and I don't get along. 710 00:46:49,852 --> 00:46:53,105 We don't approve of each other's lifestyles. 711 00:46:53,189 --> 00:46:57,026 But I hardly wish to make his embezzlement a police matter. 712 00:46:57,109 --> 00:47:01,447 I propose that you try to recover the money. 713 00:47:01,530 --> 00:47:04,992 Well, I could do that. 714 00:47:05,076 --> 00:47:08,037 If you do so, I will compensate you 715 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,165 to the tune of 10% of the recovered sum. 716 00:47:11,248 --> 00:47:12,833 A hundred... 717 00:47:12,917 --> 00:47:17,463 ...thousand, yes, bones or clams or whatever you call them. 718 00:47:17,546 --> 00:47:21,258 Yeah, but... what about my, uh... 719 00:47:21,342 --> 00:47:24,428 Your rug. With that money you can buy any rug 720 00:47:24,512 --> 00:47:27,181 that doesn't have sentimental value for me. 721 00:47:27,264 --> 00:47:29,266 I am sorry about that crack on the jaw. 722 00:47:29,350 --> 00:47:32,019 0h, that's fine. That doesn't even, uh... 723 00:47:32,103 --> 00:47:34,855 Here's the number of a doctor who will look at it. 724 00:47:34,939 --> 00:47:37,817 You'll receive no bill. He's a good man. 725 00:47:37,900 --> 00:47:40,736 - That's thoughtful, but... - Please see him. 726 00:47:40,820 --> 00:47:42,655 He's a good man. 727 00:47:44,532 --> 00:47:47,159 0h, well... all right. 728 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:50,287 He says, "My wife's a pain. 729 00:47:50,496 --> 00:47:52,581 "She's always bustin' my friggin' agates. 730 00:47:52,623 --> 00:47:55,459 "My daughter's married to a loser bastard, 731 00:47:55,543 --> 00:47:58,254 "and I got a rash so bad on my ass 732 00:47:58,337 --> 00:48:02,174 "I can't sit down. But you know me, can't complain." 733 00:48:02,258 --> 00:48:05,428 Fuckin' A, man. I got a rash, man. 734 00:48:05,511 --> 00:48:07,263 Fuckin' A. 735 00:48:07,346 --> 00:48:09,473 I gotta tell you, man, 736 00:48:09,557 --> 00:48:13,060 earlier in the day, I was feeling shitty, man. 737 00:48:13,144 --> 00:48:14,812 Down in the dumps. 738 00:48:14,895 --> 00:48:16,939 Lost a little money... 739 00:48:17,023 --> 00:48:20,443 Hey, you know what? Forget about it. 740 00:48:20,526 --> 00:48:24,321 I can't be worried about that shit. Life goes on, man. 741 00:48:24,405 --> 00:48:26,365 Home, sweet home, Mr. L. 742 00:48:29,994 --> 00:48:33,831 Look. Who's your friend in the Volkswagen? 743 00:48:35,624 --> 00:48:38,502 Yeah, he followed us here. 744 00:48:38,586 --> 00:48:41,881 When did he start foll... What the fuck? 745 00:48:41,964 --> 00:48:44,550 In the limo, you son of a bitch. No arguing. 746 00:48:44,633 --> 00:48:46,969 Careful, man. There's a beverage here. 747 00:48:48,262 --> 00:48:51,265 Start talking and talk fast, you lousy bum. 748 00:48:51,349 --> 00:48:53,768 We've been trying to reach you, Dude. 749 00:48:53,851 --> 00:48:56,687 Where's my goddamn money, you bum? 750 00:48:56,771 --> 00:48:58,647 W-well, we... 751 00:48:58,731 --> 00:49:00,483 I don't... 752 00:49:00,566 --> 00:49:03,736 They did not receive the money, you nitwit! 753 00:49:03,819 --> 00:49:07,615 - Her life was in your hands! - This is our concern, Dude. 754 00:49:07,698 --> 00:49:10,284 No, man, nothing is fucked here. 755 00:49:10,368 --> 00:49:12,370 - Nothing is fucked? - No, man. 756 00:49:12,453 --> 00:49:15,664 The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain! 757 00:49:15,748 --> 00:49:19,543 Come on, who are you gonna believe, those guys or... 758 00:49:19,627 --> 00:49:21,754 We dropped off the damn money. 759 00:49:21,837 --> 00:49:23,756 We? 760 00:49:23,839 --> 00:49:25,883 I. 761 00:49:25,966 --> 00:49:29,679 The royal we. You know, the editorial. 762 00:49:29,762 --> 00:49:32,473 I dropped off the money exactly as per... 763 00:49:32,556 --> 00:49:34,975 I've got certain information, all right? 764 00:49:35,059 --> 00:49:37,770 Certain things have come to light, and... 765 00:49:37,853 --> 00:49:40,398 Has it ever occurred to you 766 00:49:40,481 --> 00:49:44,694 that instead of, you know, running around, 767 00:49:44,777 --> 00:49:48,531 blaming me, given the nature of all this new shit, 768 00:49:48,614 --> 00:49:52,451 this could be a lot more... 769 00:49:52,535 --> 00:49:54,537 Complex? 770 00:49:54,620 --> 00:49:58,958 I mean, it might not be such a simple, uh... you know? 771 00:49:59,041 --> 00:50:02,128 What in God's name are you blathering about? 772 00:50:02,211 --> 00:50:05,673 I'll tell you what I'm blathering about. 773 00:50:05,756 --> 00:50:09,051 I've got information. New shit has come to light. 774 00:50:09,135 --> 00:50:11,345 And, shit, man... 775 00:50:12,888 --> 00:50:15,141 She kidnapped herself. 776 00:50:17,435 --> 00:50:19,270 Well, sure, man. 777 00:50:19,353 --> 00:50:22,356 Look at it. A young trophy wife, 778 00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,692 in the parlance of our times. 779 00:50:24,775 --> 00:50:27,820 She owes money all over town, 780 00:50:27,903 --> 00:50:30,906 including to known pornographers. 781 00:50:31,866 --> 00:50:34,952 And that's cool. That's cool. 782 00:50:35,036 --> 00:50:38,164 I'm saying she needs money, man. 783 00:50:38,247 --> 00:50:40,499 And... and, you know, 784 00:50:40,583 --> 00:50:43,627 of course they're gonna say they didn't get it, 785 00:50:43,711 --> 00:50:46,797 because she wants more, man. 786 00:50:46,881 --> 00:50:50,217 She's gotta feed the monkey. I mean... 787 00:50:51,844 --> 00:50:55,639 Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir? 788 00:50:57,892 --> 00:51:01,645 No, Mr Lebowski, it had not occurred to me. 789 00:51:01,729 --> 00:51:05,232 That had not occurred to us, Dude. 790 00:51:05,316 --> 00:51:08,569 You guys aren't privy to all the new shit, so... 791 00:51:08,652 --> 00:51:10,863 you know. But... 792 00:51:10,946 --> 00:51:14,241 Hey, that's what you pay me for. 793 00:51:15,951 --> 00:51:19,163 Speaking of which, do you think that you could... 794 00:51:19,246 --> 00:51:21,374 give me my 20,000 in cash? 795 00:51:21,457 --> 00:51:24,960 My concern is... and I gotta check with my accountant... 796 00:51:25,044 --> 00:51:27,797 but this might bump me into a higher tax... 797 00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,216 Brandt... Give him the envelope. 798 00:51:30,299 --> 00:51:34,428 0h, if you've already got the cheque made out, that's coolii0h 799 00:51:34,512 --> 00:51:37,014 We received this this morning. 800 00:51:38,307 --> 00:51:41,894 Since you have failed to achieve, 801 00:51:41,977 --> 00:51:45,398 even in the modest task which was your charge, 802 00:51:45,481 --> 00:51:49,235 since you have stolen my money, 803 00:51:49,318 --> 00:51:52,488 since you have unrepentantly betrayed my trust... 804 00:51:52,571 --> 00:51:54,365 I have no choice 805 00:51:54,448 --> 00:51:59,453 but to tell these bums to do whatever is necessary 806 00:51:59,537 --> 00:52:04,542 to recover their money from you, Jeffrey Lebowski. 807 00:52:04,625 --> 00:52:08,212 With Brandt as my witness, I will tell you this: 808 00:52:08,295 --> 00:52:12,800 Any further harm visited upon Bunny 809 00:52:12,883 --> 00:52:16,387 will be visited tenfold upon your head. 810 00:52:18,806 --> 00:52:23,936 By God, sir, I will not abide another toe. 811 00:52:29,233 --> 00:52:32,069 That wasn't her toe, Dude. 812 00:52:32,153 --> 00:52:36,073 - Whose toe was it, Walter? - How the fuck should I know? 813 00:52:36,157 --> 00:52:38,743 Nothing about it indicates... 814 00:52:38,826 --> 00:52:41,328 - The nail polish, Walter. - Fine, Dude. 815 00:52:41,412 --> 00:52:45,499 You can get nail polish and apply it to someone else's toe. 816 00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:47,585 Where the fuck are they gonna get... 817 00:52:47,668 --> 00:52:50,671 You want a toe? I can get you a toe. 818 00:52:50,755 --> 00:52:52,923 Believe me, there are ways, Dude. 819 00:52:53,007 --> 00:52:55,176 You don't wanna know about it. 820 00:52:55,259 --> 00:52:59,138 I can get you a toe by 3 pm, with nail polish. 821 00:52:59,221 --> 00:53:02,224 These fuckin' amateurs. They send us a toe, 822 00:53:02,308 --> 00:53:05,895 we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ! 823 00:53:05,978 --> 00:53:09,065 They're gonna kill her and then me. 824 00:53:09,148 --> 00:53:12,526 Dude... that's... 825 00:53:12,610 --> 00:53:15,529 That's just the stress talking, man. 826 00:53:15,613 --> 00:53:17,823 We have what appears to me 827 00:53:17,907 --> 00:53:20,576 to be a series of victimless crimes. 828 00:53:20,659 --> 00:53:24,997 - What about the toe? - Forget about the fucking toe! 829 00:53:25,081 --> 00:53:28,292 Could you keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant. 830 00:53:28,376 --> 00:53:30,628 Dear, for your information, 831 00:53:30,711 --> 00:53:34,173 the Supreme Court has rejected prior restraint! 832 00:53:34,256 --> 00:53:36,050 This is not a First Amendment thing. 833 00:53:36,133 --> 00:53:39,303 If you don't calm down, you'll have to leave. 834 00:53:39,387 --> 00:53:42,682 Lady, my buddies died face-down in the muck 835 00:53:42,765 --> 00:53:45,726 so we could enjoy this family restaurant! 836 00:53:45,810 --> 00:53:48,562 - I'm outta here. - Dude, don't go away, man. 837 00:53:48,646 --> 00:53:50,523 This affects all of us. 838 00:53:50,606 --> 00:53:52,441 There are basic freedoms! 839 00:53:57,029 --> 00:53:59,323 I'm stayin'. 840 00:54:00,658 --> 00:54:02,660 I'm finishing my coffee. 841 00:54:07,873 --> 00:54:10,543 Enjoying my coffee. 842 00:54:25,641 --> 00:54:28,686 'The Dude is not in. 843 00:54:28,769 --> 00:54:31,731 'Leave a message after the beep. Thanks, man.' 844 00:54:33,190 --> 00:54:36,569 'Mr Lebowski, this is duty officer Rolvaag of the LAPD. 845 00:54:36,652 --> 00:54:38,904 'We've recovered your automobile. 846 00:54:38,988 --> 00:54:41,032 'It can be claimed at... ' 847 00:54:41,115 --> 00:54:43,951 Far out, man. Far fucking out! 848 00:54:53,961 --> 00:54:57,214 Hey! This is a private residence, man. 849 00:55:05,973 --> 00:55:08,309 Ah, nice marmot. 850 00:55:16,817 --> 00:55:22,448 Vere is the money, Lebowski. Ve vant the money, Lebowski. 851 00:55:27,286 --> 00:55:31,499 You zink ve are kidding or making with the funny stuff? 852 00:55:31,582 --> 00:55:34,335 Things you haven't dreamed of, Lebowski. 853 00:55:34,418 --> 00:55:37,254 Ve believes in nossing, Lebowski, nossing. 854 00:55:37,338 --> 00:55:40,216 Ve come back and ve cut off your chonson. 855 00:55:40,299 --> 00:55:41,801 Excuse me? 856 00:55:41,884 --> 00:55:44,845 I said we'll cut off your johnson! 857 00:55:44,929 --> 00:55:46,847 Just think about that, Lebowski. 858 00:55:46,931 --> 00:55:48,849 Ja, your viggly penis, Lebowski. 859 00:55:48,933 --> 00:55:51,727 Maybe we stomp on it and sqoosh it, Lebowski. 860 00:56:01,153 --> 00:56:03,072 It was discovered last night 861 00:56:03,155 --> 00:56:06,367 - lodged against an abutment. - 0h, man, lodged where? 862 00:56:06,450 --> 00:56:09,620 You're lucky she didn't get chopped, Mr Lebowski. 863 00:56:09,704 --> 00:56:11,580 A joyride situation. 864 00:56:11,664 --> 00:56:14,542 They abandon the vehicle once they hit the wall. 865 00:56:14,625 --> 00:56:18,003 My fucking briefcase! Man, it's not here. Shit! 866 00:56:18,087 --> 00:56:19,839 I saw the report. Sorry. 867 00:56:19,922 --> 00:56:22,425 You gotta get in on the other side. 868 00:56:22,508 --> 00:56:27,054 The side-view was found on the road by the car. 869 00:56:27,138 --> 00:56:31,017 You're lucky they left the tape deck, and the Creedence. 870 00:56:31,100 --> 00:56:34,645 Aw, Jesus! What's that smell, man? 871 00:56:34,729 --> 00:56:37,565 Probably a vagrant slept in the car 872 00:56:37,648 --> 00:56:39,734 or just used it as a toilet. 873 00:56:39,817 --> 00:56:42,153 Hey, man... 874 00:56:42,236 --> 00:56:45,197 Are you gonna find these guys, you know... 875 00:56:45,281 --> 00:56:48,534 I mean, you got any promising, uh, leads or... 876 00:56:48,617 --> 00:56:51,746 Leads? Yeah, sure. 877 00:56:51,829 --> 00:56:55,875 I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. 878 00:56:55,958 --> 00:56:59,295 They got four more detectives working on the case. 879 00:56:59,378 --> 00:57:01,797 They got us working in shifts. 880 00:57:06,635 --> 00:57:08,637 Leads? 881 00:57:08,721 --> 00:57:10,806 I hope the big Lebowski kills me 882 00:57:10,890 --> 00:57:14,310 before the Germans can cut my dick off. 883 00:57:14,810 --> 00:57:18,189 That is just ridiculous, Dude. No one'll cut your dick off. 884 00:57:18,230 --> 00:57:21,192 - Thank you. - Not if I have anything to say. 885 00:57:21,275 --> 00:57:23,861 - That makes me feel secure. - Dude. 886 00:57:23,944 --> 00:57:26,781 - It makes me feel warm inside. - Now, Dude. 887 00:57:26,864 --> 00:57:29,116 This whole fuckin' thing. 888 00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:33,662 I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my rug. 889 00:57:33,746 --> 00:57:36,707 - But, no, man, I gotta... - Fucking Germans. 890 00:57:36,791 --> 00:57:39,835 Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis. 891 00:57:39,919 --> 00:57:42,254 They were Nazis, Dude? 892 00:57:42,338 --> 00:57:45,466 Come on, Donny, they were threatening castration. 893 00:57:45,549 --> 00:57:47,593 - Are we gonna split hairs? - No. 894 00:57:47,677 --> 00:57:49,679 - Am I wrong? - Well, he... 895 00:57:49,762 --> 00:57:51,430 They were nihilists, man. 896 00:57:51,514 --> 00:57:53,974 They kept saying they believed in nothing. 897 00:57:54,058 --> 00:57:56,727 Nihilists. 898 00:57:56,811 --> 00:57:59,313 Fuck me. 899 00:58:00,022 --> 00:58:03,859 Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, 900 00:58:03,943 --> 00:58:06,153 at least it's an ethos. 901 00:58:06,237 --> 00:58:08,989 And also, let's not forget, Dude, 902 00:58:09,073 --> 00:58:12,535 that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent 903 00:58:12,618 --> 00:58:15,287 for, you know, domestic... 904 00:58:15,371 --> 00:58:17,331 within the city... 905 00:58:17,415 --> 00:58:19,375 That ain't legal either. 906 00:58:19,458 --> 00:58:22,712 - Are you a fucking park ranger? - No, I'm just... 907 00:58:22,795 --> 00:58:25,840 Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot? 908 00:58:25,923 --> 00:58:29,176 - We are sympathising, Dude. - Fuck sympathy. 909 00:58:29,260 --> 00:58:33,305 I don't need your fucking sympathy. I need my johnson. 910 00:58:33,389 --> 00:58:36,767 - What do you need that for? - You've got to buck up! 911 00:58:36,851 --> 00:58:40,312 You cannot drag this negative energy into the tournament. 912 00:58:40,396 --> 00:58:43,482 Fuck the tournament. Fuck you, Walter. 913 00:58:43,566 --> 00:58:46,527 Fuck the tournament? 914 00:58:46,610 --> 00:58:50,489 0K, Dude. I can see you don't want to be cheered up. 915 00:58:50,573 --> 00:58:53,909 Come on, Donny. Let's go get us a lane. 916 00:58:57,496 --> 00:59:00,833 - Another Caucasian, Gary. - Right, Dude. 917 00:59:02,626 --> 00:59:05,087 Friends like these, huh, Gary? 918 00:59:05,171 --> 00:59:07,256 That's right, Dude. 919 00:59:28,361 --> 00:59:32,448 Do you have a good Sarsaparilla? 920 00:59:32,531 --> 00:59:34,533 Sioux City Sarsaparilla? 921 00:59:34,617 --> 00:59:37,119 Yeah. That's a good one. 922 00:59:38,954 --> 00:59:41,165 How you doin' there, Dude? 923 00:59:41,999 --> 00:59:44,168 Not too good, man. 924 00:59:44,251 --> 00:59:48,089 - 0ne of those days, huh? - Yeah. 925 00:59:48,172 --> 00:59:49,799 Well... 926 00:59:49,882 --> 00:59:52,760 A wiser fella than myself once said, 927 00:59:52,843 --> 00:59:56,138 "Sometimes you eat the bar and..." 928 00:59:56,222 --> 00:59:58,432 Much obliged. 929 00:59:58,516 --> 01:00:01,060 "And sometimes the bar, well... 930 01:00:01,143 --> 01:00:02,937 "he eats you." 931 01:00:03,020 --> 01:00:06,357 That some kind of Eastern thing? 932 01:00:07,191 --> 01:00:09,235 Far from it. 933 01:00:14,907 --> 01:00:17,368 I like your style, Dude. 934 01:00:17,451 --> 01:00:19,829 Hmm. Well... 935 01:00:19,912 --> 01:00:22,248 I dig your style, too, man. 936 01:00:22,331 --> 01:00:24,834 You got a whole cowboy thing going. 937 01:00:28,254 --> 01:00:30,047 Thankee. 938 01:00:30,131 --> 01:00:34,010 - There's just one thing, Dude. - What's that? 939 01:00:34,093 --> 01:00:37,471 Do you have to use so many cuss words? 940 01:00:39,265 --> 01:00:41,892 What the fuck are you talking about? 941 01:00:44,103 --> 01:00:47,231 0K, Dude, have it your way. 942 01:00:48,482 --> 01:00:50,985 Take her easy, Dude. 943 01:00:51,068 --> 01:00:53,487 Yeah. Thanks, man. 944 01:00:58,576 --> 01:01:00,911 Call for you, Dude. 945 01:01:04,331 --> 01:01:05,624 Hello? 946 01:01:05,708 --> 01:01:08,753 'Jeffrey, you have not gone to the doctor.' 947 01:01:08,836 --> 01:01:12,048 Uh, oh, yeah. No... no, I haven't yet. 948 01:01:12,131 --> 01:01:14,717 'I'd like to see you immediately.' 949 01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:16,427 0h? 950 01:01:27,438 --> 01:01:32,068 - So you're Lebowski. - Yeah. 951 01:01:34,695 --> 01:01:36,739 Maude has told me all about you. 952 01:01:36,822 --> 01:01:39,992 She'll be back in a minute. Sit down. 953 01:01:40,076 --> 01:01:43,454 - Do you want a drink? - Yeah, sure. White Russian. 954 01:01:43,537 --> 01:01:46,082 The bar's over there. 955 01:01:50,336 --> 01:01:54,590 - So what do you do, Lebowski? - Who the fuck are you, man? 956 01:01:56,342 --> 01:01:58,219 Just a friend of Maudie's. 957 01:01:58,302 --> 01:02:00,429 The friend with the cleft asshole? 958 01:02:02,598 --> 01:02:05,142 What do you do? 959 01:02:05,226 --> 01:02:07,269 0h, nothing much. 960 01:02:07,353 --> 01:02:09,397 Hello, Jeffrey. 961 01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:12,775 Yeah, how are you? Listen, Maude, 962 01:02:12,858 --> 01:02:15,444 I got to, uh... 963 01:02:16,821 --> 01:02:18,906 tender my resignation or whatever. 964 01:02:18,989 --> 01:02:24,245 It looks like your mother really was kidnapped after all. 965 01:02:24,328 --> 01:02:26,122 She most certainly was not. 966 01:02:26,205 --> 01:02:29,291 Hey, man, why don't you fucking... 967 01:02:29,375 --> 01:02:32,586 listen occasionally? You might learn something. 968 01:02:32,670 --> 01:02:35,548 - Now, I got... - Don't call her my mother. 969 01:02:37,133 --> 01:02:39,343 She's the perpetrator and not the victim. 970 01:02:39,427 --> 01:02:42,304 I got pretty definitive evidence... 971 01:02:42,388 --> 01:02:45,349 - From who? - From the main guy, Uli. 972 01:02:45,433 --> 01:02:48,477 Uli Kunkel? Her co-star in the beaver picture? 973 01:02:48,561 --> 01:02:51,355 Beaver? You mean vagina... 974 01:02:51,439 --> 01:02:53,774 I mean, you know the guy? 975 01:02:53,858 --> 01:02:56,861 I might have introduced them for all I know. 976 01:02:56,944 --> 01:02:58,946 Do you remember Uli? 977 01:02:59,030 --> 01:03:02,450 He's a musician. Used to have a group, Autobahn. 978 01:03:02,533 --> 01:03:05,828 They released one album in the late 70s. 979 01:03:05,911 --> 01:03:09,081 Their music is sort of a... technopop. 980 01:03:09,165 --> 01:03:11,584 So he's pretending to be the abductor? 981 01:03:11,667 --> 01:03:13,878 - Well, yeah. - Look, Jeffrey, 982 01:03:13,961 --> 01:03:16,630 you don't kidnap someone you're acquainted with. 983 01:03:16,714 --> 01:03:19,258 The idea is that the hostage can't identify you 984 01:03:19,342 --> 01:03:21,886 - after you've let them go. - I know that. 985 01:03:26,432 --> 01:03:29,602 What the fuck is with this guy? Who is he? 986 01:03:29,685 --> 01:03:33,230 Knox Harrington. The video artist. 987 01:03:33,314 --> 01:03:36,942 - So Uli has the money? - Well... 988 01:03:37,026 --> 01:03:39,487 No, not exactly... 989 01:03:39,570 --> 01:03:42,365 This is a very complicated case, Maude. 990 01:03:42,448 --> 01:03:46,077 A lot of ins and outs and what-have-yous... 991 01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:49,246 A lot of strands to keep in my head. 992 01:03:49,330 --> 01:03:51,707 A lot of strands in old Duder's head. 993 01:03:51,791 --> 01:03:53,250 Then who has the money? 994 01:03:53,334 --> 01:03:56,212 It's Sandra, about the Biennale. 995 01:03:56,295 --> 01:03:59,799 I have to take this. Do you have that doctor's number? 996 01:03:59,882 --> 01:04:03,344 - It's not bruised any more. - Please, Jeffrey, 997 01:04:03,427 --> 01:04:07,181 I don't want to be responsible for any delayed after-effects. 998 01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:11,018 After-effects? 999 01:04:40,131 --> 01:04:43,551 Could you slide your shorts down, Mr Lebowski, please? 1000 01:04:43,634 --> 01:04:46,470 No, man. She hit me right here. 1001 01:04:46,554 --> 01:04:48,305 I understand. 1002 01:04:48,389 --> 01:04:52,059 Could you slide your shorts down, please? 1003 01:07:22,626 --> 01:07:24,879 He lives in North Hollywood, 1004 01:07:24,962 --> 01:07:27,048 on Radford, near the In 'n' 0ut Burger. 1005 01:07:27,131 --> 01:07:28,966 The In 'n' 0ut Burger's on Camrose. 1006 01:07:29,050 --> 01:07:31,302 - Near it. - Those are good burgers. 1007 01:07:31,385 --> 01:07:33,220 Shut the fuck up, Donny. 1008 01:07:33,304 --> 01:07:36,265 The kid's in ninth grade, and his father... 1009 01:07:36,349 --> 01:07:40,436 Are you ready for this? His father is Arthur Digby Sellers. 1010 01:07:40,519 --> 01:07:42,355 Who the fuck is that? 1011 01:07:42,438 --> 01:07:44,982 Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers? 1012 01:07:45,066 --> 01:07:48,319 Ever heard of a show called "Branded"? 1013 01:07:48,402 --> 01:07:51,697 "All but one man died there at Bitter Creek"? 1014 01:07:51,781 --> 01:07:53,908 I know the fucking show. So what? 1015 01:07:53,991 --> 01:07:57,870 Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 156 episodes, Dude. 1016 01:07:57,953 --> 01:08:00,581 The bulk of the series. 1017 01:08:00,664 --> 01:08:03,209 - Not exactly a lightweight. - No. 1018 01:08:03,292 --> 01:08:06,879 And yet his son is a fucking dunce. 1019 01:08:06,962 --> 01:08:09,382 We'll go there after the what-have-you, 1020 01:08:09,465 --> 01:08:11,342 we'll brace the kid. 1021 01:08:11,425 --> 01:08:13,427 We'll be near the In 'n' 0ut Burger. 1022 01:08:13,511 --> 01:08:15,971 Shut the fuck up, Donny! 1023 01:08:16,055 --> 01:08:19,892 We'll brace the kid. He should be a pushover. 1024 01:08:19,975 --> 01:08:22,186 We'll get that fucking $1 million back... 1025 01:08:22,269 --> 01:08:24,230 If he hasn't spent it already. 1026 01:08:24,313 --> 01:08:26,273 A million fucking clams. 1027 01:08:26,357 --> 01:08:29,694 - Yes, we'll be near the, uh... - In 'n' 0ut. 1028 01:08:31,445 --> 01:08:34,490 Some burgers, some beers, a few laughs. 1029 01:08:35,574 --> 01:08:39,704 0ur fucking troubles are over, Dude. 1030 01:08:50,548 --> 01:08:53,759 0h, fuck me, man! 1031 01:08:53,843 --> 01:08:56,971 That kid's already spent all the money, man! 1032 01:08:57,054 --> 01:08:59,557 New 'vette? Hardly, Dude. 1033 01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:03,269 I'd say he still has 960, $970,000 left, 1034 01:09:03,352 --> 01:09:06,605 depending on the options. Wait in the car, Donny. 1035 01:09:09,942 --> 01:09:12,528 - Yes? - Pilar? 1036 01:09:13,362 --> 01:09:15,281 My name is Walter Sobchak. 1037 01:09:15,364 --> 01:09:18,409 This is my associate Jeffrey Lebowski. 1038 01:09:18,492 --> 01:09:22,455 We came to talk about little Larry. May we come in? 1039 01:09:22,538 --> 01:09:24,707 - Yes, yes. - Thank you. 1040 01:09:29,045 --> 01:09:31,464 That's him, Dude. 1041 01:09:38,512 --> 01:09:41,432 And a good day to you, sir! 1042 01:09:41,515 --> 01:09:43,893 Sit down, please. 1043 01:09:48,356 --> 01:09:51,192 Larry, sweetie, that man is here! 1044 01:09:51,275 --> 01:09:54,695 Is he... Does he still write? 1045 01:09:54,779 --> 01:09:57,865 0h, no, no. He has health problems. 1046 01:10:00,493 --> 01:10:03,954 Sir, I just want to say 1047 01:10:04,038 --> 01:10:07,500 that we're both, on a personal level, 1048 01:10:07,583 --> 01:10:09,585 really enormous fans. 1049 01:10:09,669 --> 01:10:12,713 "Branded", especially the early episodes, 1050 01:10:12,797 --> 01:10:15,216 was truly a source of inspiration... 1051 01:10:15,299 --> 01:10:17,885 Sweetie, sit down! This is the police. 1052 01:10:17,968 --> 01:10:21,555 0h, no, ma'am, we are not exactly the police. 1053 01:10:21,639 --> 01:10:24,141 We hope it won't be necessary to call the police. 1054 01:10:24,225 --> 01:10:26,894 But that's up to little Larry here. 1055 01:10:26,977 --> 01:10:29,313 Isn't it, Larry? 1056 01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:41,325 Is this your homework, Larry? 1057 01:10:43,828 --> 01:10:45,871 - Is this your homework? - Look, man... 1058 01:10:45,955 --> 01:10:49,333 Dude, please. Is this your homework, Larry? 1059 01:10:49,417 --> 01:10:51,210 Just ask him about the car. 1060 01:10:51,293 --> 01:10:54,380 - Is this your homework, Larry? - Is that your car out front? 1061 01:10:54,463 --> 01:10:57,675 - Is this your homework, Larry? - We know it's his homework! 1062 01:10:57,758 --> 01:10:59,343 Where's the fucking money? 1063 01:10:59,427 --> 01:11:01,470 Look, Larry... 1064 01:11:01,554 --> 01:11:03,222 Have you heard of Vietnam? 1065 01:11:03,305 --> 01:11:06,308 You're entering a world of pain, son. 1066 01:11:06,392 --> 01:11:08,352 We know that you stole the car. 1067 01:11:08,436 --> 01:11:10,479 - And the fucking money! - And the fucking money. 1068 01:11:10,563 --> 01:11:12,690 We know that this is your homework. 1069 01:11:12,773 --> 01:11:15,776 - We'll cut your dick off. - You're killing your father. 1070 01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:21,198 All right. This is pointless. 1071 01:11:21,282 --> 01:11:24,160 0K? It's time for plan B. 1072 01:11:26,704 --> 01:11:30,583 You might want to watch out that front window, Larry. 1073 01:11:30,666 --> 01:11:32,501 Son, this is what happens 1074 01:11:32,585 --> 01:11:34,837 when you fuck a stranger in the ass! 1075 01:11:36,213 --> 01:11:38,174 Little language problem here. 1076 01:11:38,257 --> 01:11:41,635 The little prick's stonewalling me. 1077 01:11:41,719 --> 01:11:43,471 Walter! 1078 01:11:43,554 --> 01:11:45,556 What... what are you doing, man? 1079 01:11:48,225 --> 01:11:49,810 What are you doing? 1080 01:11:51,437 --> 01:11:54,940 Here you go, Larry. You see what happens? 1081 01:11:55,024 --> 01:11:57,568 You see what happens, Larry? 1082 01:11:59,945 --> 01:12:01,781 This is what happens 1083 01:12:01,864 --> 01:12:05,076 when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry! 1084 01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:08,037 This is what happens, Larry! 1085 01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:10,414 You see what happens, Larry, 1086 01:12:10,498 --> 01:12:13,000 when you fuck a stranger in the ass? 1087 01:12:13,084 --> 01:12:14,669 This is what happens. 1088 01:12:14,752 --> 01:12:16,545 You see what happens, Larry? 1089 01:12:17,922 --> 01:12:19,840 You see what happens, Larry? 1090 01:12:19,924 --> 01:12:21,592 Do you see what happens, Larry, 1091 01:12:21,676 --> 01:12:23,969 when you fuck a stranger in the ass? 1092 01:12:25,137 --> 01:12:28,391 This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens, Larry! 1093 01:12:28,474 --> 01:12:30,726 - No! - This is what happens, Larry! 1094 01:12:30,810 --> 01:12:33,521 This is what happens when you fuck a stranger... 1095 01:12:33,604 --> 01:12:35,856 What the fuck are you doing? Stop it! 1096 01:12:35,940 --> 01:12:38,484 I just bought that fucking car last week! 1097 01:12:38,567 --> 01:12:41,696 I'm gonna fuckin' kill you! 1098 01:12:41,779 --> 01:12:44,156 I just bought the fucking car last week! 1099 01:12:44,240 --> 01:12:46,826 I'll kill your fucking car, man! 1100 01:12:46,909 --> 01:12:48,619 No! That's not his... hey! 1101 01:12:48,703 --> 01:12:51,497 - God damn it! - No! 0h, no! 1102 01:12:51,580 --> 01:12:54,542 Fuck you! You like that? 1103 01:12:54,625 --> 01:12:57,795 Fuck you! I kill your fucking car! 1104 01:12:57,878 --> 01:13:01,215 I kill your fucking car! 1105 01:13:21,277 --> 01:13:23,446 I accept your apology. 1106 01:13:25,573 --> 01:13:29,452 No. I just... want to handle it by myself from now on. 1107 01:13:29,535 --> 01:13:31,912 No, no, no. 1108 01:13:31,996 --> 01:13:34,749 That has nothing to do with it. 1109 01:13:34,832 --> 01:13:37,376 Yes, the car made it home. 1110 01:13:37,460 --> 01:13:39,879 You're calling me at home. 1111 01:13:39,962 --> 01:13:45,593 No, Walter, it did not look like Larry was about to crack. 1112 01:13:47,219 --> 01:13:49,638 Well, that's your perception. 1113 01:13:50,848 --> 01:13:53,476 You know, Walter, you're right. 1114 01:13:53,559 --> 01:13:56,562 There is an unspoken message here. It's "Fuck you"! 1115 01:13:56,645 --> 01:13:58,773 Leave me the fuck alone! 1116 01:14:00,983 --> 01:14:03,361 Yeah, I'll be at practice. 1117 01:14:21,128 --> 01:14:24,423 Pin your diapers on. Jackie Treehorn wants to see you. 1118 01:14:24,507 --> 01:14:27,593 Jackie Treehorn knows which Lebowski you are. 1119 01:14:27,677 --> 01:14:30,346 Jackie Treehorn wants to see the deadbeat Lebowski. 1120 01:14:30,429 --> 01:14:32,306 You're not dealing with morons. 1121 01:15:19,854 --> 01:15:23,024 Hello, Dude. Thanks for coming. 1122 01:15:23,107 --> 01:15:25,192 I'm Jackie Treehorn. 1123 01:15:27,486 --> 01:15:30,614 This is quite a pad you got here, man. 1124 01:15:30,698 --> 01:15:33,117 Completely unspoiled. 1125 01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,328 - What's your drink, Dude? - White Russian. Thanks. 1126 01:15:36,412 --> 01:15:38,330 White Russian. 1127 01:15:38,414 --> 01:15:40,916 How's the smut business, Jackie? 1128 01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:42,710 I wouldn't know, Dude. 1129 01:15:42,793 --> 01:15:45,546 I deal in publishing, 1130 01:15:45,629 --> 01:15:47,840 entertainment, political advocacy. 1131 01:15:47,923 --> 01:15:51,552 - 0h. Which one's "Logjammin'"? - Yes, regrettably, it's true. 1132 01:15:51,635 --> 01:15:54,722 Standards have fallen in adult entertainment. 1133 01:15:54,805 --> 01:15:56,682 It's video, Dude. 1134 01:15:56,766 --> 01:15:59,310 Now that we're competing with amateurs, 1135 01:15:59,393 --> 01:16:02,229 we can't afford to invest in extras, like story, 1136 01:16:02,313 --> 01:16:04,607 production value, 1137 01:16:04,690 --> 01:16:06,776 feelings. 1138 01:16:07,735 --> 01:16:09,945 You know, people forget 1139 01:16:10,029 --> 01:16:13,741 that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone. 1140 01:16:13,824 --> 01:16:15,826 0n you maybe. 1141 01:16:15,910 --> 01:16:17,995 You have to take the good with the bad. 1142 01:16:18,079 --> 01:16:20,998 New technology permits us to do exciting things 1143 01:16:21,082 --> 01:16:25,336 in interactive erotic software. Wave of the future, Dude. 1144 01:16:25,419 --> 01:16:27,880 100% electronic. 1145 01:16:27,963 --> 01:16:31,676 Well... I still jerk off manually. 1146 01:16:33,052 --> 01:16:34,553 0f course you do. 1147 01:16:34,637 --> 01:16:38,224 I can see you're anxious for me to get to the point. 1148 01:16:38,307 --> 01:16:40,101 Well, here it is, Dude. 1149 01:16:40,184 --> 01:16:42,144 Where's Bunny? 1150 01:16:42,228 --> 01:16:45,481 - I thought you might know that. - Why would I? 1151 01:16:45,564 --> 01:16:49,527 She ran off to get away from that sizeable debt to me. 1152 01:16:49,610 --> 01:16:52,238 She didn't run off. She's been... 1153 01:16:52,321 --> 01:16:54,198 I've heard that story. 1154 01:16:54,281 --> 01:16:57,618 I know you're mixed up in this, Dude. 1155 01:16:57,702 --> 01:17:01,288 I don't care what you're trying to get from the husband. 1156 01:17:01,372 --> 01:17:03,165 That's your business. 1157 01:17:03,249 --> 01:17:05,251 All I'm saying is... 1158 01:17:05,334 --> 01:17:07,670 - I want mine. - Yeah, right, man. 1159 01:17:07,753 --> 01:17:10,506 There are a lot of... facets to this, 1160 01:17:10,589 --> 01:17:13,467 a lot of interested parties. 1161 01:17:13,551 --> 01:17:16,178 Excuse me. 1162 01:17:21,392 --> 01:17:22,977 Yeah? 1163 01:17:23,060 --> 01:17:24,437 0h, yeah. 1164 01:17:24,520 --> 01:17:26,105 Where's that? 1165 01:17:29,025 --> 01:17:30,943 All right. 1166 01:17:34,530 --> 01:17:36,323 Excuse me. 1167 01:18:11,275 --> 01:18:14,862 - Forgive me. - No problemo, man. 1168 01:18:14,945 --> 01:18:16,989 So, uh... 1169 01:18:17,073 --> 01:18:20,159 If I, uh, can find your money... 1170 01:18:20,242 --> 01:18:23,829 What's in it for the Dude? 1171 01:18:23,913 --> 01:18:26,499 0f course, there's that to discuss. Refill? 1172 01:18:26,582 --> 01:18:28,417 The Pope shit in the woods? 1173 01:18:28,501 --> 01:18:31,128 10% finder's fee. That all right? 1174 01:18:31,212 --> 01:18:33,881 0K. Done, Jackie. 1175 01:18:33,964 --> 01:18:36,342 I dig the way you do business, man. 1176 01:18:36,425 --> 01:18:40,721 Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. 1177 01:18:40,805 --> 01:18:43,849 He lives in North Hollywood, on Radford, uh... 1178 01:18:43,933 --> 01:18:46,727 by the In 'n' 0ut Burger. 1179 01:18:46,811 --> 01:18:49,063 A fuckin' brat, 1180 01:18:49,146 --> 01:18:51,065 but I'm sure you can get it off him. 1181 01:18:51,148 --> 01:18:53,693 I mean, he's 15. 1182 01:18:54,694 --> 01:18:57,154 Flunking social studies. 1183 01:19:00,282 --> 01:19:02,618 So, if you could just, uh... 1184 01:19:02,702 --> 01:19:07,623 write me a cheque for my 10% of half a million... 1185 01:19:07,707 --> 01:19:10,626 five grand... I'll go out and mingle. 1186 01:19:15,131 --> 01:19:18,634 You mix a hell of a Caucasian, Jackie. 1187 01:19:18,801 --> 01:19:21,012 A 15-year-old kid. 1188 01:19:21,929 --> 01:19:24,682 Is this some sort of a joke? 1189 01:19:24,765 --> 01:19:26,767 No, no joke. 1190 01:19:26,851 --> 01:19:30,521 No funny stuff, Jackie. The kid's got it. 1191 01:19:30,604 --> 01:19:32,773 Hi, fellas. 1192 01:19:34,233 --> 01:19:36,610 The kid just wanted a car. 1193 01:19:39,447 --> 01:19:43,409 All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back. 1194 01:19:43,492 --> 01:19:44,827 I'm not greedy. 1195 01:19:46,954 --> 01:19:49,290 It really... 1196 01:19:49,373 --> 01:19:51,083 tied the room together. 1197 01:19:54,045 --> 01:19:57,715 Darkness washed over the Dude. 1198 01:19:57,798 --> 01:20:00,426 Darker than a black steer's tookus 1199 01:20:00,509 --> 01:20:03,679 on a moonless prairie night. 1200 01:20:03,971 --> 01:20:05,598 There was no bottom. 1201 01:23:58,331 --> 01:24:00,249 Branded! 1202 01:24:14,013 --> 01:24:16,682 Is this your only I. D? 1203 01:24:16,766 --> 01:24:19,018 I know my rights, man. 1204 01:24:21,520 --> 01:24:25,649 - You don't know shit, Lebowski. - I want a fucking lawyer, man. 1205 01:24:25,733 --> 01:24:29,779 I want... Bill Kunstler, man... 1206 01:24:30,946 --> 01:24:32,656 or Ron Coobie. 1207 01:24:32,740 --> 01:24:34,492 Mr Treehorn tells us 1208 01:24:34,575 --> 01:24:38,746 that he had to eject you from his garden party, 1209 01:24:38,829 --> 01:24:40,831 that you were drunk and abusive. 1210 01:24:40,915 --> 01:24:46,170 Mr Treehorn treats objects like women, man. 1211 01:24:46,253 --> 01:24:49,465 Mr Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. 1212 01:24:49,548 --> 01:24:51,884 You don't draw shit, Lebowski. 1213 01:24:51,967 --> 01:24:55,304 We got a nice quiet little beach community here, 1214 01:24:55,388 --> 01:24:57,723 and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. 1215 01:24:57,807 --> 01:24:59,892 So let me make something plain. 1216 01:24:59,975 --> 01:25:02,520 I don't like you sucking around, 1217 01:25:02,603 --> 01:25:04,605 bothering our citizens, Lebowski. 1218 01:25:04,689 --> 01:25:07,191 I don't like your jerk-off name, 1219 01:25:07,274 --> 01:25:09,068 I don't like your jerk-off face, 1220 01:25:09,151 --> 01:25:11,612 I don't like your jerk-off behaviour, 1221 01:25:11,696 --> 01:25:14,824 and I don't like you... Jerk-off. 1222 01:25:17,243 --> 01:25:19,328 Do I make myself clear? 1223 01:25:22,248 --> 01:25:24,625 I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. 1224 01:25:27,211 --> 01:25:29,255 Fucking fascist! 1225 01:25:30,339 --> 01:25:33,175 Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski! 1226 01:25:33,259 --> 01:25:35,636 Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat! 1227 01:25:37,263 --> 01:25:41,434 Keep your ugly goldbricking ass out of my beach community. 1228 01:25:53,738 --> 01:25:57,366 Jesus... Man, could you change the channel. 1229 01:25:57,450 --> 01:26:00,953 If you don't like my music, get your own fucking cab! 1230 01:26:01,037 --> 01:26:03,539 I'll pull over and kick your ass out. 1231 01:26:03,622 --> 01:26:07,376 I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles. 1232 01:26:15,801 --> 01:26:18,304 0ut of my fucking cab! 0ut! Get... 1233 01:26:18,387 --> 01:26:20,556 Hey... man! 1234 01:26:20,639 --> 01:26:22,808 Man, hey! 1235 01:27:04,642 --> 01:27:07,937 0h... Jesus. 1236 01:27:26,122 --> 01:27:28,082 Jeffrey. 1237 01:27:29,125 --> 01:27:30,626 Maude? 1238 01:27:30,710 --> 01:27:32,670 Love me. 1239 01:27:34,088 --> 01:27:35,965 Uh, that's my robe. 1240 01:27:37,133 --> 01:27:40,302 Tell me about yourself, Jeffrey. 1241 01:27:40,386 --> 01:27:42,763 Well, not much to tell. 1242 01:27:42,847 --> 01:27:47,810 I, um, I was one of the authors 1243 01:27:47,893 --> 01:27:50,104 of the Port Huron statement. 1244 01:27:50,187 --> 01:27:52,148 The original Port Huron statement. 1245 01:27:54,358 --> 01:27:58,237 Not the compromised second draft. 1246 01:27:58,696 --> 01:28:01,157 Uh, and then I, uh, 1247 01:28:01,240 --> 01:28:03,367 you ever hear of the Seattle 7? 1248 01:28:03,451 --> 01:28:06,912 That was me. 1249 01:28:06,996 --> 01:28:11,792 And, um, the six other guys. 1250 01:28:11,876 --> 01:28:15,921 Um... and then, ah, music business briefly. 1251 01:28:17,757 --> 01:28:20,468 - Yeah, a roadie for Metallica. - 0h. 1252 01:28:20,551 --> 01:28:24,347 - "Speed of Sound" tour. - Mm-hmm. 1253 01:28:24,430 --> 01:28:26,891 Bunch of assholes. 1254 01:28:26,974 --> 01:28:29,643 Uh, and then, you know, 1255 01:28:29,727 --> 01:28:31,854 a little of this, a little of that. 1256 01:28:31,937 --> 01:28:35,358 My career's slowed down a little lately. 1257 01:28:35,441 --> 01:28:39,695 What do you do for recreation? 1258 01:28:39,779 --> 01:28:45,076 0h, the usual. Bowl, drive around. 1259 01:28:45,159 --> 01:28:48,204 The occasional acid flashback. 1260 01:28:53,793 --> 01:28:56,587 What happened to your house? 1261 01:28:56,671 --> 01:28:58,756 0h, Jackie Treehorn trashed the place. 1262 01:28:58,839 --> 01:29:01,592 He thought I had your father's money. 1263 01:29:01,676 --> 01:29:04,512 He got me out of the way while he looked for it. 1264 01:29:04,595 --> 01:29:07,181 - Cocktail? - No, thanks. 1265 01:29:07,264 --> 01:29:10,434 It's not my father's money. It's the Foundation's. 1266 01:29:10,518 --> 01:29:14,146 Why did he think you have it? And who does? 1267 01:29:14,230 --> 01:29:16,816 Larry Sellers, this high school kid. 1268 01:29:16,899 --> 01:29:18,484 Real fucking brat. 1269 01:29:18,567 --> 01:29:22,738 You know, this is a very complicated case, Maude. 1270 01:29:22,822 --> 01:29:25,866 Lotta ins, lotta outs. You know, fortunately, 1271 01:29:25,950 --> 01:29:28,452 I'm adhering to a pretty strict... 1272 01:29:28,536 --> 01:29:31,706 drug regiment to keep my mind, you know, 1273 01:29:31,789 --> 01:29:33,582 uh, limber, you know. 1274 01:29:33,666 --> 01:29:35,710 Very close to your father's money. 1275 01:29:35,793 --> 01:29:39,672 It's the Foundation's money. Father doesn't have any. 1276 01:29:41,549 --> 01:29:44,218 What are you talking about? He's loaded. 1277 01:29:44,301 --> 01:29:47,054 No, no, the wealth was all mother's. 1278 01:29:47,138 --> 01:29:49,348 No, he runs stuff, uh... 1279 01:29:49,432 --> 01:29:52,852 We did let him run a company, but he didn't do very well. 1280 01:29:52,935 --> 01:29:55,938 - No, he's... - He administers the charities, 1281 01:29:56,022 --> 01:29:59,066 and I give him a reasonable allowance. 1282 01:29:59,150 --> 01:30:01,068 He has no money of his own. 1283 01:30:01,152 --> 01:30:04,613 I know how he presents himself. Father's weakness is vanity. 1284 01:30:04,697 --> 01:30:10,328 - Hence, the slut. - Uh, do you think he, uh... 1285 01:30:11,620 --> 01:30:13,706 What is that, yoga? 1286 01:30:13,789 --> 01:30:16,292 It increases the chances of conception. 1287 01:30:17,918 --> 01:30:20,171 - Increases? - Well, yes. 1288 01:30:20,254 --> 01:30:23,424 What did you think this was about? Fun and games? 1289 01:30:23,507 --> 01:30:25,926 I want a child. 1290 01:30:26,010 --> 01:30:28,304 0K, yeah, 0K, but let me... 1291 01:30:28,387 --> 01:30:31,766 Let me explain something about the Dude. 1292 01:30:31,849 --> 01:30:34,643 Look, Jeffrey, I don't want a partner. 1293 01:30:34,727 --> 01:30:38,647 I don't want the father to be someone I have to see, 1294 01:30:38,731 --> 01:30:42,735 or who has any interest in raising the child himself. 1295 01:30:42,818 --> 01:30:45,738 0h, so that doctor... 1296 01:30:45,821 --> 01:30:47,823 Exactly. 1297 01:30:47,907 --> 01:30:50,076 Now, what happened to your face? 1298 01:30:50,159 --> 01:30:52,912 Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well? 1299 01:30:52,995 --> 01:30:56,874 No, uh, it was the Chief of Police of Malibu. 1300 01:30:56,957 --> 01:31:00,544 A real reactionary. So, your father... 1301 01:31:02,213 --> 01:31:05,424 - Yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah. - What? 1302 01:31:05,508 --> 01:31:07,885 0h, man, my thinking about this case 1303 01:31:07,968 --> 01:31:11,847 had become very uptight. Yeah, your father. 1304 01:31:13,683 --> 01:31:16,268 Jeffrey, what are you talking about? 1305 01:31:17,937 --> 01:31:19,480 Jeffrey! 1306 01:31:19,563 --> 01:31:21,649 Walter, if you're there, 1307 01:31:21,732 --> 01:31:24,110 pick up the fucking phone. Come on. 1308 01:31:24,193 --> 01:31:26,904 Pick it up, man, this is an emergency. 1309 01:31:26,987 --> 01:31:28,364 'Dude? ' 1310 01:31:28,447 --> 01:31:32,243 I'm at my place. I need you to come and pick me up. 1311 01:31:32,326 --> 01:31:34,829 'I can't drive, Dude, it's Erev Shabbos.' 1312 01:31:34,912 --> 01:31:36,664 - What? - 'Erev Shabbos.' 1313 01:31:36,747 --> 01:31:39,083 - 'I can't drive.' - Man! 1314 01:31:39,166 --> 01:31:41,836 'I'm not supposed to pick up the phone 1315 01:31:41,919 --> 01:31:44,672 - 'unless it's an emergency.' - This is a fucking emergency! 1316 01:31:44,755 --> 01:31:47,216 'That's why I picked up the phone.' 1317 01:31:47,299 --> 01:31:50,428 Walter, you fuck, we gotta go to Pasadena. 1318 01:31:50,511 --> 01:31:52,680 Pick me up or I'm off the bowling team. 1319 01:32:09,071 --> 01:32:11,907 Get out of that fucking car, man. 1320 01:32:11,991 --> 01:32:14,702 Get out of that fucking car! 1321 01:32:14,785 --> 01:32:17,288 Get the fuck out of the car, man. 1322 01:32:18,748 --> 01:32:20,958 Get out of the fucking... 1323 01:32:21,042 --> 01:32:23,085 Who the fuck are you, man? 1324 01:32:23,169 --> 01:32:27,048 Easy, man. Relax, man. No physical harm intended. 1325 01:32:27,131 --> 01:32:30,176 Who the fuck are you? Why are you following me around? 1326 01:32:30,259 --> 01:32:31,510 Come on, fuckhead. 1327 01:32:31,594 --> 01:32:33,804 Relax, man. I'm a brother Seamus. 1328 01:32:33,888 --> 01:32:36,182 Brother Seamus? 1329 01:32:36,265 --> 01:32:38,809 Like an Irish monk? 1330 01:32:38,893 --> 01:32:41,562 What the fuck are you talking about? 1331 01:32:41,645 --> 01:32:45,399 My name is Da Fino. I'm a private snoop, like you, man. 1332 01:32:45,483 --> 01:32:48,361 - What? - A dick, man. 1333 01:32:48,444 --> 01:32:51,822 Let me tell you something. I dig your work. 1334 01:32:51,906 --> 01:32:53,866 Playing one side against the other. 1335 01:32:53,949 --> 01:32:56,410 In bed with everybody. Fabulous stuff. 1336 01:32:56,494 --> 01:32:57,953 I'm not! Fuck it. 1337 01:32:58,037 --> 01:33:00,790 Just stay away from my lady friend. 1338 01:33:00,873 --> 01:33:03,376 I'm not messing with your special lady. 1339 01:33:03,459 --> 01:33:05,336 She's not my special lady. 1340 01:33:05,419 --> 01:33:07,505 I'm just helping her conceive. 1341 01:33:07,588 --> 01:33:10,007 - I'm not... - Who are you working for? 1342 01:33:10,091 --> 01:33:13,511 Lebowski? Jackie Treehorn? 1343 01:33:13,636 --> 01:33:15,388 The Knutsens. 1344 01:33:15,471 --> 01:33:19,767 The... who the fuck are the Knutsens? 1345 01:33:19,850 --> 01:33:23,354 The Knutsens. It's a wandering-daughter job. 1346 01:33:24,313 --> 01:33:27,233 Bunny Lebowski, man. 1347 01:33:27,316 --> 01:33:29,777 Her real name is Fawn Knutsen. 1348 01:33:29,860 --> 01:33:33,114 Her parents want her back. 1349 01:33:33,197 --> 01:33:35,616 Jesus fucking Christ. 1350 01:33:35,700 --> 01:33:37,868 Crazy, huh? Ran away about a year ago. 1351 01:33:37,952 --> 01:33:41,747 The Knutsens told me to show her this when I found her. 1352 01:33:41,831 --> 01:33:45,876 It's the family farm outside of Moorhead, Minnesota. 1353 01:33:45,960 --> 01:33:48,921 They think it'll make her homesick. 1354 01:33:49,005 --> 01:33:53,259 How are you gonna keep 'em down once they've seen Karl Hungus? 1355 01:33:53,342 --> 01:33:56,012 - She's been kidnapped, Da Fino. - 0h, man. 1356 01:33:56,095 --> 01:33:58,014 Maybe not, but she's not around. 1357 01:33:58,097 --> 01:34:02,727 Hey, maybe you and me could pool our resources. 1358 01:34:02,810 --> 01:34:06,897 Trade information. Professional courtesy. 1359 01:34:06,981 --> 01:34:09,108 Compeers, you know what I mean? 1360 01:34:09,191 --> 01:34:11,360 Yeah, yeah, I get it. Fuck off, Da Fino. 1361 01:34:11,444 --> 01:34:13,696 And stay away from my special... 1362 01:34:13,779 --> 01:34:16,615 from my fucking lady friend, man. 1363 01:34:18,617 --> 01:34:21,203 Ze lingonberry pancakes. 1364 01:34:25,333 --> 01:34:27,418 Lingonberry pancakes. 1365 01:34:31,088 --> 01:34:33,466 Sree pigs in blanket. 1366 01:34:39,555 --> 01:34:41,557 She has lingonberry pancakes. 1367 01:34:49,440 --> 01:34:51,901 We totally fucked it up, man. 1368 01:34:51,984 --> 01:34:55,654 We fucked up his payoff, we pissed off the kidnappers, 1369 01:34:55,738 --> 01:34:59,617 and Lebowski, he yelled at me but he didn't do anything, huh? 1370 01:34:59,700 --> 01:35:02,411 Well, sometimes it's a cathartic... 1371 01:35:02,495 --> 01:35:04,580 If he knows I'm a fuck-up, 1372 01:35:04,664 --> 01:35:07,583 why does he ask me to get his wife back? 1373 01:35:07,667 --> 01:35:10,211 Because he doesn't want her back. 1374 01:35:10,294 --> 01:35:13,464 He's had enough. He no longer digs her. 1375 01:35:13,547 --> 01:35:16,550 But then, why doesn't he give a shit 1376 01:35:16,634 --> 01:35:18,469 about his million bucks? 1377 01:35:18,552 --> 01:35:21,555 I mean, he knows we never handed off his briefcase, 1378 01:35:21,639 --> 01:35:23,391 but he never asked for it back. 1379 01:35:23,474 --> 01:35:26,769 The million bucks was never in the briefcase. 1380 01:35:26,852 --> 01:35:30,189 The briefcase was fucking empty, man. 1381 01:35:30,272 --> 01:35:33,401 The asshole was hoping that they would kill her. 1382 01:35:33,484 --> 01:35:36,237 You threw out a ringer for a ringer. 1383 01:35:36,320 --> 01:35:38,614 How does this add up to an emergency? 1384 01:35:38,698 --> 01:35:40,199 Huh? 1385 01:35:40,282 --> 01:35:42,868 I see what you're getting at, Dude, 1386 01:35:42,952 --> 01:35:45,788 he kept the money. My point is... 1387 01:35:45,871 --> 01:35:50,543 here we are, it's Shabbos, which I'm allowed to break 1388 01:35:50,626 --> 01:35:53,546 only if it's a matter of life or death. 1389 01:35:53,629 --> 01:35:55,965 Come off it. You're not even fucking Jewish. 1390 01:35:56,048 --> 01:35:58,509 What the fuck are you talking about? 1391 01:35:58,592 --> 01:36:00,594 You're fucking Polish-Catholic. 1392 01:36:00,678 --> 01:36:03,097 I converted when I married Cynthia. Come on. 1393 01:36:03,180 --> 01:36:05,808 - Yeah, yeah. - You know this. 1394 01:36:05,891 --> 01:36:08,394 Five years ago, you were divorced. 1395 01:36:08,477 --> 01:36:11,063 So when you get divorced, you return your library card? 1396 01:36:11,147 --> 01:36:13,858 You get a new licence? You stop being Jewish? 1397 01:36:13,941 --> 01:36:17,820 - This is the driveway. - I'm Jewish as fucking Tevyé. 1398 01:36:17,903 --> 01:36:21,574 Man, it's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing. 1399 01:36:21,657 --> 01:36:25,536 Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. 1400 01:36:25,619 --> 01:36:27,163 You're living in the past. 1401 01:36:27,246 --> 01:36:29,165 3,000 years of beautiful tradition 1402 01:36:29,248 --> 01:36:31,125 from Moses to Sandy Koufax, 1403 01:36:31,208 --> 01:36:36,088 damn right I'm living in the fucking past! I... Jesus. 1404 01:36:36,172 --> 01:36:38,674 What the hell happened? 1405 01:36:58,569 --> 01:37:00,321 Where was she, man? 1406 01:37:00,404 --> 01:37:02,406 Visiting friends in Palm Springs. 1407 01:37:02,490 --> 01:37:04,700 She just left. Never bothered to tell us. 1408 01:37:04,784 --> 01:37:07,536 I guess the nihilist knew where she was. 1409 01:37:07,620 --> 01:37:09,413 She never even kidnapped herself. 1410 01:37:09,497 --> 01:37:13,459 - Who is this gentleman, Dude? - Who am I? A fucking veteran. 1411 01:37:13,542 --> 01:37:16,295 You shouldn't go in, Dude. He's very angry. 1412 01:37:19,090 --> 01:37:21,133 So, man... 1413 01:37:21,217 --> 01:37:24,762 So, she's back, no thanks to you. 1414 01:37:24,845 --> 01:37:27,723 - Where's the fucking money? - A million bucks 1415 01:37:27,807 --> 01:37:31,727 from fucking needy little urban achievers! You are scum! 1416 01:37:31,811 --> 01:37:34,188 - Who the hell is he? - Who am I? 1417 01:37:34,271 --> 01:37:37,566 I'm the guy that's gonna kick your goldbricking ass! 1418 01:37:37,650 --> 01:37:41,362 The briefcase was empty. You kept the money for yourself. 1419 01:37:41,445 --> 01:37:43,447 You have your story, I have mine. 1420 01:37:43,531 --> 01:37:46,283 I entrusted the money to you, and you stole it. 1421 01:37:46,367 --> 01:37:49,787 As if we would ever take your bullshit money! 1422 01:37:49,870 --> 01:37:53,541 You thought Bunny had been kidnapped, and you were glad. 1423 01:37:53,624 --> 01:37:55,876 You could make some money disappear. 1424 01:37:55,960 --> 01:37:58,629 You needed was a sap to pin it on. 1425 01:37:58,713 --> 01:38:02,591 You just met me. You... human paraquat! 1426 01:38:02,675 --> 01:38:04,885 You figured, "0h, here's a loser." 1427 01:38:04,969 --> 01:38:08,305 Somebody the square community won't give a shit about. 1428 01:38:08,389 --> 01:38:12,768 - Well, aren't you? - Well, yeah, but... 1429 01:38:14,061 --> 01:38:15,521 Get out, both of you. 1430 01:38:15,604 --> 01:38:19,025 Look at that phony. Pretending to be a millionaire. 1431 01:38:19,108 --> 01:38:21,027 0ut of this house now, you bums! 1432 01:38:21,110 --> 01:38:22,820 Let me tell you something. 1433 01:38:22,903 --> 01:38:25,281 I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude, 1434 01:38:25,364 --> 01:38:28,868 and this guy's a fake. A fucking goldbricker. 1435 01:38:28,951 --> 01:38:32,246 - Stay away from me! - This guy fucking walks. 1436 01:38:32,330 --> 01:38:35,291 - I've never been more certain. - Stay away! 1437 01:38:35,374 --> 01:38:38,711 Walter, for Christ's sake, man, he's a cripple. 1438 01:38:38,794 --> 01:38:40,713 Get away from me! 1439 01:38:42,548 --> 01:38:45,843 - Put him down, man! - Yeah, I'll put him down! 1440 01:38:45,926 --> 01:38:48,054 Rauss! Achtung, baby! 1441 01:39:04,236 --> 01:39:07,490 Come on, help me put him back in his chair. 1442 01:39:27,551 --> 01:39:29,929 Sure, you'll see some tank battles. 1443 01:39:30,012 --> 01:39:32,723 Fighting in desert is very different 1444 01:39:32,807 --> 01:39:36,894 from fighting in jungle. 'Nam was a foot soldier's war, 1445 01:39:36,977 --> 01:39:41,065 whereas this thing should, you know, be a piece of cake. 1446 01:39:41,148 --> 01:39:44,985 I mean, I had an M16 Jacko, not an Abrams fucking tank. 1447 01:39:45,069 --> 01:39:47,488 Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball. 1448 01:39:47,571 --> 01:39:50,324 - Yeah. - That's fuckin' combat. 1449 01:39:50,408 --> 01:39:53,077 The man in the black pyjamas, Dude. 1450 01:39:53,160 --> 01:39:55,579 Worthy fuckin' adversary. 1451 01:39:55,663 --> 01:39:59,208 - Who's in pyjamas, Walter? - Shut the fuck up, Donny. 1452 01:39:59,291 --> 01:40:01,252 Whereas, what we have here... 1453 01:40:01,335 --> 01:40:03,796 Fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, 1454 01:40:03,879 --> 01:40:06,173 trying to find reverse on a Soviet tank. 1455 01:40:06,257 --> 01:40:08,551 - This... this is not a worthy... - Hey! 1456 01:40:08,634 --> 01:40:10,970 What's this day-of-rest shit? 1457 01:40:11,053 --> 01:40:14,015 What's this bullshit?! I don't fuckin' care! 1458 01:40:14,098 --> 01:40:17,768 It don't matter to Jesus. But you not fooling me, man. 1459 01:40:17,852 --> 01:40:20,062 You might fool the league office, 1460 01:40:20,146 --> 01:40:22,690 but you don't fool Jesus. 1461 01:40:22,773 --> 01:40:25,401 It's bush league psyche-out stuff. 1462 01:40:25,484 --> 01:40:27,862 Laughable, man. 1463 01:40:27,945 --> 01:40:31,198 I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. 1464 01:40:31,282 --> 01:40:35,286 I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. 1465 01:40:35,369 --> 01:40:39,498 Whoo! You got a date Wednesday, baby. 1466 01:40:43,002 --> 01:40:45,171 He's cracking. 1467 01:40:45,629 --> 01:40:47,173 The whole concept of Asia. 1468 01:40:47,256 --> 01:40:49,508 Many learned men have disputed this, 1469 01:40:49,592 --> 01:40:52,845 but in the 14th Century, the Rabahm, he... 1470 01:41:01,604 --> 01:41:03,898 Well, they finally did it. 1471 01:41:03,981 --> 01:41:06,192 They killed my fucking car. 1472 01:41:06,275 --> 01:41:10,071 We want ze money, Lebowski. 1473 01:41:10,154 --> 01:41:12,406 Ja, otherwise, we kill ze girl. 1474 01:41:12,490 --> 01:41:15,993 Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal. 1475 01:41:16,077 --> 01:41:18,913 You don't have the fucking girl, dipshit. 1476 01:41:18,996 --> 01:41:21,666 < We know you never did. 1477 01:41:21,749 --> 01:41:23,417 Are these the Nazis? 1478 01:41:23,501 --> 01:41:25,711 No, nihilists. Nothing to be afraid of. 1479 01:41:27,630 --> 01:41:31,217 Ve don't care. Ve still want the money, Lebowski, 1480 01:41:31,300 --> 01:41:33,469 or we'll fuck you up. 1481 01:41:33,552 --> 01:41:36,263 Fuck you. Fuck the three of yous. 1482 01:41:36,347 --> 01:41:39,975 No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. 1483 01:41:40,059 --> 01:41:43,270 That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules. 1484 01:41:43,354 --> 01:41:45,606 His girlfriend gave up her toe. 1485 01:41:45,690 --> 01:41:48,317 She zought we'd be getting $1 million. 1486 01:41:48,401 --> 01:41:49,652 It's not fair. 1487 01:41:49,735 --> 01:41:52,822 Fair? Who's the fucking nihilist around here, 1488 01:41:52,905 --> 01:41:54,991 you bunch of fucking crybabies. 1489 01:41:55,074 --> 01:41:59,161 Cool it, Walter. Hey, look, pal, there never was any money. 1490 01:41:59,245 --> 01:42:01,580 The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, 1491 01:42:01,664 --> 01:42:03,499 so take it up with him, man. 1492 01:42:03,582 --> 01:42:06,002 I would like my undies back. 1493 01:42:06,085 --> 01:42:09,338 - Are these guys gonna hurt us? - No, these men are cowards. 1494 01:42:09,422 --> 01:42:12,758 0K, so we take ze money you have on you 1495 01:42:12,842 --> 01:42:14,802 and we calls it even. 1496 01:42:15,594 --> 01:42:17,430 Fuck you. 1497 01:42:17,513 --> 01:42:20,975 No, Walter, come on. We're ending this cheap, man. 1498 01:42:21,058 --> 01:42:23,936 - No, what's mine is mine. - Come on, Walter. 1499 01:42:24,020 --> 01:42:28,107 - No funny stuff. - All right, I got... 1500 01:42:28,190 --> 01:42:31,152 - uh, 4 bucks, almost 5. - I got $18. 1501 01:42:31,235 --> 01:42:33,237 What's mine is mine. 1502 01:42:33,320 --> 01:42:35,948 We fuck you up, man. We takes the money. 1503 01:42:36,032 --> 01:42:38,451 Come and get it. 1504 01:42:39,076 --> 01:42:41,370 We fuck you up. 1505 01:42:41,454 --> 01:42:43,414 Show me what you got, nihilist. 1506 01:42:43,497 --> 01:42:44,999 I fuck you. 1507 01:42:45,082 --> 01:42:46,667 Come on, he's got a sword. 1508 01:42:46,751 --> 01:42:48,586 Dipshit with a nine-toed woman. 1509 01:42:48,669 --> 01:42:51,881 Fuck you! Fuck you! 1510 01:42:51,964 --> 01:42:53,591 I fuck you, I! 1511 01:42:58,929 --> 01:43:01,015 Take it easy, man. Here's the $4. 1512 01:43:07,396 --> 01:43:09,398 I got a fucking ball, man. 1513 01:43:15,112 --> 01:43:17,239 Anti-Semite! 1514 01:43:17,323 --> 01:43:19,492 I fuck you in ze ass. 1515 01:43:19,575 --> 01:43:23,079 I fuck you! I fuck you! 1516 01:43:23,162 --> 01:43:24,789 I fuck you! I fuck you! 1517 01:43:31,253 --> 01:43:33,381 We got a man down, Dude. 1518 01:43:36,801 --> 01:43:39,011 God, they shot him, man. 1519 01:43:39,095 --> 01:43:41,055 - No, Dude. - They shot Donny? 1520 01:43:41,138 --> 01:43:44,308 There weren't any shots fired. It's a heart attack. 1521 01:43:44,392 --> 01:43:46,769 Call the medics, Dude. 1522 01:43:46,852 --> 01:43:50,398 I'd go myself, but I'm pumping blood. Might pass out. 1523 01:43:50,481 --> 01:43:54,110 Rest easy, good buddy, you're doing fine. 1524 01:43:54,193 --> 01:43:56,362 We got help choppering in. 1525 01:44:23,097 --> 01:44:25,891 Hello, gentlemen. You are the bereaved? 1526 01:44:25,975 --> 01:44:27,810 Yeah, man. 1527 01:44:27,893 --> 01:44:29,937 Francis Donnelly. Pleased to meet you. 1528 01:44:30,021 --> 01:44:31,564 Jeff Lebowski. 1529 01:44:31,647 --> 01:44:33,232 Walter Sobchak. 1530 01:44:33,315 --> 01:44:35,985 The Dude, actually, is, uh... 1531 01:44:36,068 --> 01:44:38,696 - Excuse me? - 0h, nothing. 1532 01:44:38,779 --> 01:44:44,493 Yes, I understand you're taking away the remains. 1533 01:44:44,577 --> 01:44:46,120 Yeah. 1534 01:44:46,203 --> 01:44:48,706 We have the urn. 1535 01:44:48,789 --> 01:44:52,126 I assume this is credit card. 1536 01:44:53,252 --> 01:44:54,712 Yeah. 1537 01:45:08,934 --> 01:45:11,228 What's this? 1538 01:45:11,312 --> 01:45:13,189 That's for the urn. 1539 01:45:13,272 --> 01:45:15,691 Don't need it. We're scattering the ashes. 1540 01:45:15,775 --> 01:45:17,818 Yes, so we were informed. 1541 01:45:17,902 --> 01:45:20,279 However, we must, of course, 1542 01:45:20,363 --> 01:45:23,574 transmit the remains to you in a receptacle. 1543 01:45:24,909 --> 01:45:26,911 This is $180. 1544 01:45:26,994 --> 01:45:30,915 It is our most... modestly priced receptacle. 1545 01:45:30,998 --> 01:45:33,459 - Can we just, uh... - $180? 1546 01:45:33,542 --> 01:45:37,505 - They range up to 3,000. - Uh, we're, uh, ahem... 1547 01:45:37,588 --> 01:45:39,715 Can't we just rent it from you? 1548 01:45:39,799 --> 01:45:42,551 Sir, this is a mortuary, not a rental house. 1549 01:45:42,635 --> 01:45:44,178 We're scattering the ashes! 1550 01:45:44,261 --> 01:45:47,348 Just because we're bereaved, doesn't make us saps! 1551 01:45:47,431 --> 01:45:50,184 Sir, please, lower your voices. 1552 01:45:50,267 --> 01:45:52,311 Man, don't you have, you know, 1553 01:45:52,395 --> 01:45:56,148 something else we could put him in, you know? 1554 01:45:56,232 --> 01:45:58,818 That is our most... modestly priced receptacle. 1555 01:45:58,901 --> 01:46:00,444 Goddamn it! 1556 01:46:02,196 --> 01:46:04,407 Is there a Ralph's around here? 1557 01:46:31,058 --> 01:46:34,770 Donny was a good bowler and a good man. 1558 01:46:34,854 --> 01:46:37,148 He was one of us. 1559 01:46:37,231 --> 01:46:41,569 He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling. 1560 01:46:41,652 --> 01:46:43,904 As a surfer, he explored the beaches 1561 01:46:43,988 --> 01:46:45,865 of Southern California, 1562 01:46:45,948 --> 01:46:51,162 from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. 1563 01:46:51,245 --> 01:46:56,167 He died... he died as so many men of his generation, 1564 01:46:56,250 --> 01:46:58,044 before his time. 1565 01:46:58,127 --> 01:47:01,255 In your wisdom, Lord, you took him. 1566 01:47:01,339 --> 01:47:04,842 As you took so many bright, flowering young men 1567 01:47:04,925 --> 01:47:10,348 at Khe Sanh, at Lan Doc, and Hill 364. 1568 01:47:10,431 --> 01:47:12,808 These young men gave their lives. 1569 01:47:12,892 --> 01:47:15,102 So did Donny. 1570 01:47:16,854 --> 01:47:19,857 Donny who loved bowling. 1571 01:47:21,525 --> 01:47:24,111 And so... 1572 01:47:24,195 --> 01:47:27,073 Theodore Donald Karabotsos, 1573 01:47:27,156 --> 01:47:31,869 in accordance with what we think 1574 01:47:31,952 --> 01:47:34,288 your dying wishes might well have been, 1575 01:47:34,372 --> 01:47:38,250 we commit your final, mortal remains 1576 01:47:38,334 --> 01:47:42,213 to the bosom of the Pacific 0cean, 1577 01:47:42,296 --> 01:47:45,174 which you loved so well. 1578 01:47:46,967 --> 01:47:48,928 Goodnight, sweet prince. 1579 01:48:03,192 --> 01:48:05,403 Shit. 1580 01:48:07,196 --> 01:48:10,157 0h, shit, Dude, I'm sorry. 1581 01:48:10,866 --> 01:48:14,412 - Goddamn wind. - Goddamn it, Walter. 1582 01:48:14,495 --> 01:48:16,914 - You fucking asshole! - Dude, I'm sorry. 1583 01:48:16,998 --> 01:48:19,458 Everything's a fucking travesty with you. 1584 01:48:19,542 --> 01:48:21,252 Sorry. It was an accident. 1585 01:48:21,335 --> 01:48:23,087 What was that shit about Vietnam? 1586 01:48:23,170 --> 01:48:26,549 What does anything have to do with Vietnam? 1587 01:48:26,632 --> 01:48:28,467 What the fuck were you talking about? 1588 01:48:28,551 --> 01:48:30,511 Dude, I'm sorry. 1589 01:48:32,388 --> 01:48:34,640 Fuckin'... 1590 01:48:40,271 --> 01:48:42,523 Fuck, Walter. 1591 01:48:43,149 --> 01:48:48,029 Come on, Dude. Hey, fuck it, man. 1592 01:48:51,741 --> 01:48:54,285 Let's go bowling. 1593 01:49:47,797 --> 01:49:49,757 Two oat sodas, Gary. 1594 01:49:49,840 --> 01:49:52,301 - Good luck tomorrow. - Yeah, thanks, man. 1595 01:49:52,385 --> 01:49:54,637 I'm sorry to hear about Donny. 1596 01:49:54,720 --> 01:49:58,099 0h, well, yeah, you know, 1597 01:49:58,182 --> 01:50:01,644 sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes, you know... 1598 01:50:01,727 --> 01:50:03,646 Hey, man! 1599 01:50:03,729 --> 01:50:05,690 Howdy doo, Dude. 1600 01:50:05,773 --> 01:50:08,234 I wondered if I'd see you again. 1601 01:50:08,317 --> 01:50:11,737 I wouldn't miss the semis. How have things been going? 1602 01:50:11,821 --> 01:50:14,740 Strikes and gutters, ups and downs. 1603 01:50:14,824 --> 01:50:18,244 - Sure. I gotcha. - Yeah. 1604 01:50:18,327 --> 01:50:20,246 Thanks, Gary. 1605 01:50:20,329 --> 01:50:22,999 Well, take care, man. Gotta get back. 1606 01:50:23,082 --> 01:50:25,710 - Sure. Take it easy, Dude. - 0h, yeah. 1607 01:50:25,793 --> 01:50:27,878 I know that you will. 1608 01:50:27,962 --> 01:50:31,966 Yeah, well, the Dude abides. 1609 01:50:37,680 --> 01:50:40,808 The Dude abides. 1610 01:50:43,602 --> 01:50:48,274 I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. 1611 01:50:48,357 --> 01:50:52,361 It's good knowing he's out there, the Dude. 1612 01:50:52,445 --> 01:50:55,531 Takin' her easy for all us sinners. 1613 01:50:55,614 --> 01:50:57,783 Shoosh. 1614 01:50:57,867 --> 01:51:01,162 I sure hope he makes the finals. 1615 01:51:01,245 --> 01:51:06,000 Well, that about does her. Wraps her all up. 1616 01:51:06,083 --> 01:51:10,921 Things seem to have worked out good for the Dude and Walter. 1617 01:51:11,005 --> 01:51:14,717 It was a pretty good story, don't you think? 1618 01:51:14,800 --> 01:51:17,887 Made me laugh to beat the band. 1619 01:51:17,970 --> 01:51:20,264 Parts, anyway. 1620 01:51:20,348 --> 01:51:23,768 I didn't like seeing Donny go. 1621 01:51:23,851 --> 01:51:26,520 But then I happen to know 1622 01:51:26,604 --> 01:51:30,107 that there's a little Lebowski on the way. 1623 01:51:30,191 --> 01:51:34,028 I guess that's how the whole darn human comedy 1624 01:51:34,111 --> 01:51:37,198 keeps perpetuating itself 1625 01:51:37,281 --> 01:51:40,076 down through the generations. 1626 01:51:40,159 --> 01:51:42,161 Westward the wagons, 1627 01:51:42,244 --> 01:51:45,331 across the sands of time until we... 1628 01:51:45,414 --> 01:51:47,458 0h, look at me. 1629 01:51:47,541 --> 01:51:50,252 I'm ramblin' again. 1630 01:51:50,336 --> 01:51:53,005 Well, I hope you folks enjoyed yourselves. 1631 01:51:53,089 --> 01:51:56,092 Catch ya later on down the trail. 1632 01:51:56,175 --> 01:52:00,513 Say, friend, you got any more of that good Sarsaparilla? 1633 01:56:38,082 --> 01:56:43,504 DVD subtitles by European Captioning Institute