1
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,331
Good for you, Pete. Good for you.

2
00:01:20,775 --> 00:01:22,037
<i>Access Hollywood spotlight</i>

3
00:01:22,254 --> 00:01:24,951
<i>on sexy crime fighter Sarah Marshall. </i>

4
00:01:25,038 --> 00:01:27,647
<i>Hi, everybody, welcome
to Access Hollywood. I'm Billy Bush. </i>

5
00:01:27,777 --> 00:01:30,039
<i>Each week, millions of viewers love to watch</i>

6
00:01:30,169 --> 00:01:33,301
<i>Ms Marshall's brainy sexpot character,
Maddy Stark,</i>

7
00:01:33,475 --> 00:01:36,432
<i>alongside Billy Baldwin's
dark and brooding,</i>

8
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,694
<i>hard-to-love lead detective, Hunter Rush. </i>

9
00:01:38,824 --> 00:01:42,869
<i>- And this isn't your jurisdiction.
- I just made it my jurisdiction. </i>

10
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:45,609
<i>Can you say "catfight"?</i>

11
00:01:47,262 --> 00:01:49,045
<i>Off-screen, Sarah cosies up</i>

12
00:01:49,131 --> 00:01:51,828
<i>to her successful composer boyfriend,
Peter Bretter. </i>

13
00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:53,089
<i>He's no household name,</i>

14
00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:58,525
<i>yet Bretter's dark and ominous score has
set the tone for this gruesome juggernaut. </i>

15
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,091
<i>Take a look. </i>

16
00:02:03,744 --> 00:02:04,788
<i>What do you think?</i>

17
00:02:06,222 --> 00:02:10,007
<i>I think it's gonna be hard
for her to re-enter the pageant</i>

18
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,485
<i>without a face. </i>

19
00:02:17,269 --> 00:02:20,532
<i>Looks like the sky's the limit
for this adorable couple. </i>

20
00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,706
<i>Anything could happen. </i>

21
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:31,795
<i> We got to do something
We got to do something</i>

22
00:02:31,882 --> 00:02:34,578
<i>Before Mother Earth gets any more hurt</i>

23
00:02:34,709 --> 00:02:36,579
<i>We got to do something</i>

24
00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:40,232
<i>We leave you tonight with the newest
smash single from Infant Sorrow. </i>

25
00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:45,016
<i>Lead singer and notorious lothario,
Aldous Snow, begs us to change</i>

26
00:02:45,234 --> 00:02:48,278
<i>in his environmental anthem,
We've Got to Do Something. </i>

27
00:02:48,365 --> 00:02:52,105
<i>I hope, for once, we all hear the message.
Good night. </i>

28
00:02:52,236 --> 00:02:57,629
<i>Mr Prime Minister and Mr President
You better see that it's not only me</i>

29
00:02:57,759 --> 00:03:01,281
<i>No, a mob is rising in size
And they've been dying to scream</i>

30
00:03:04,196 --> 00:03:05,456
Hey, baby.

31
00:03:07,457 --> 00:03:08,892
Just working.

32
00:03:10,675 --> 00:03:11,807
Salad.

33
00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:16,112
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally.

34
00:03:16,198 --> 00:03:18,721
I didn't realise that
you were gonna be back so early.

35
00:03:18,808 --> 00:03:21,331
Great. I'll see you in a bit.

36
00:03:22,026 --> 00:03:24,462
Okay, bye.

37
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,898
<i>It's time to do something</i>

38
00:03:27,984 --> 00:03:34,030
<i>Someone should do something
We got to do something</i>

39
00:03:34,117 --> 00:03:37,901
<i>And that someone is you and you
And you and you</i>

40
00:03:39,161 --> 00:03:41,858
<i>I pray it ain't all lost and gone</i>

41
00:03:44,685 --> 00:03:47,816
<i>I pray we might learn right from wrong</i>

42
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:56,123
<i>And I pray this broken day
will not last too long</i>

43
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:09,605
Hey, you got here fast.
I got a surprise for you.

44
00:04:13,258 --> 00:04:15,128
Peter, as you know,

45
00:04:16,563 --> 00:04:19,477
I love you very much.

46
00:04:23,869 --> 00:04:25,740
Are you breaking up with me?

47
00:04:31,784 --> 00:04:35,568
- Pete, are you...
- I just need a minute.

48
00:04:37,438 --> 00:04:38,482
Okay.

49
00:04:58,183 --> 00:04:59,227
Please don't go.

50
00:04:59,314 --> 00:05:02,228
Why don't you just put on some clothes,
and we can sit down and discuss this.

51
00:05:02,358 --> 00:05:03,620
No. I can't do anything right now.

52
00:05:03,706 --> 00:05:05,489
I'm so sorry, Pete.

53
00:05:06,316 --> 00:05:07,446
I'm in love with you.

54
00:05:07,577 --> 00:05:09,229
Why don't you just
put some clothes on, okay?

55
00:05:09,317 --> 00:05:11,013
I'm not going to go put clothes on.

56
00:05:11,230 --> 00:05:14,883
I know what that means,
if I put clothes on, it's over. Okay?

57
00:05:17,449 --> 00:05:18,493
Excuse me.

58
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:28,409
Let's talk. Let's talk about him.

59
00:05:30,627 --> 00:05:31,845
I feel...

60
00:05:33,845 --> 00:05:35,716
I've been feeling

61
00:05:36,976 --> 00:05:39,891
for a long time
that we've been growing apart.

62
00:05:41,021 --> 00:05:43,326
We're leading different lives.

63
00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:47,067
Who's the dude?

64
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:49,589
- Who's the dude?
- What?

65
00:05:49,676 --> 00:05:53,851
No, that's not what this is about.
There's no one else.

66
00:05:54,069 --> 00:05:56,243
I know what's happening here. I really do.

67
00:05:56,373 --> 00:05:59,809
You've been working so much lately, that we
haven't got to spend much time together,

68
00:05:59,896 --> 00:06:01,157
and you're forgetting
what it's like to be with me.

69
00:06:01,245 --> 00:06:03,462
But maybe, if we just held each other
or something,

70
00:06:03,549 --> 00:06:05,028
you would remember
what it's like to be with me.

71
00:06:05,246 --> 00:06:06,811
- No.
- Just hold me.

72
00:06:11,899 --> 00:06:14,205
Please. Here we go.

73
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:23,164
There's someone else.

74
00:06:25,555 --> 00:06:26,903
I'm sorry.

75
00:06:44,647 --> 00:06:47,778
We don't hang out in places like this,
Liz and I.

76
00:06:48,822 --> 00:06:52,562
Why did you take me here?
This place smells like stripper's perfume.

77
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:56,128
I'm gonna get herpes
just from sitting on this couch.

78
00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:59,129
- Sure you okay, bro? Yeah?
- Yeah.

79
00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:01,956
Yeah. You don't have to keep asking me.
I'm good.

80
00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:04,436
<i>- You're out!
- Thank you so much for this opportunity. </i>

81
00:07:04,652 --> 00:07:05,914
- Auf Wiedersehen!
- Auf Wiedersehen!

82
00:07:08,088 --> 00:07:09,871
<i>MAN ON T. V..:
Thank you. Thank you all. </i>

83
00:07:10,089 --> 00:07:11,133
<i>
Auf Wiedersehen!</i>

84
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:15,004
I feel really good. I feel happy.

85
00:07:15,178 --> 00:07:18,005
<i>Maybe you should work
on the Dracula musical. </i>

86
00:07:18,135 --> 00:07:21,440
Look, you've been working on it for a while.
It'll help your mind. Be creative.

87
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,440
- Think about you.
- I think I need to fuck somebody.

88
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:24,702
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

89
00:07:24,788 --> 00:07:27,789
You're not my stepbrother any more.
You're a step-stranger.

90
00:07:28,007 --> 00:07:29,486
- Why you talking like that?
- Brian!

91
00:07:29,572 --> 00:07:31,573
You don't need to put
your P in a V right now.

92
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:36,140
No, I don't.
I need to B my L on somebody's T's.

93
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:38,749
That's disgusting.
You don't need to be doing that.

94
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,358
And if anything,
you should leave your P in the V

95
00:07:41,576 --> 00:07:45,142
and blow it inside the V,
so you can have a B-A-B-Y

96
00:07:45,229 --> 00:07:46,491
and be a normal person.

97
00:07:46,577 --> 00:07:48,360
I'm leaving, man. I'm out of here.

98
00:07:48,578 --> 00:07:52,318
She's fucking somebody.
Okay, Bri? It's all I can think about,

99
00:07:52,535 --> 00:07:53,797
is that she's out there,

100
00:07:53,884 --> 00:07:56,580
and until I do the same thing,
I'm gonna feel like I wanna die.

101
00:07:56,710 --> 00:08:00,669
So just talk to girls with me tonight,
all right?

102
00:08:00,885 --> 00:08:04,713
All right. All right, I'll help you out.
I'll talk to girls with you.

103
00:08:06,192 --> 00:08:08,061
So, Peter, what do you do?

104
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,628
Musician.

105
00:08:09,844 --> 00:08:13,498
<i>He's being modest.
He works on a show called Crime Scene. </i>

106
00:08:14,716 --> 00:08:16,499
Oh, my God!

107
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,412
- It is what it is, you know?
- No, I love that show.

108
00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:22,674
<i>Wait, Crime Scene: Scene of the Crime
or Crime Scene: Phoenix?</i>

109
00:08:22,762 --> 00:08:26,501
<i>- Scene of the Crime.
- Oh, my God! I love that show. </i>

110
00:08:27,763 --> 00:08:30,676
I find you both very sexually attractive.

111
00:08:32,372 --> 00:08:35,069
Let's pump the brakes. Okay?

112
00:08:35,155 --> 00:08:37,461
I think that having sex with either of you

113
00:08:37,547 --> 00:08:40,288
would be a great treat for me.

114
00:08:40,374 --> 00:08:42,071
You are so funny.

115
00:08:43,637 --> 00:08:46,029
I just got out of
a five-and-a-half-year relationship,

116
00:08:46,202 --> 00:08:48,942
so I'm not looking for anything serious.

117
00:08:49,465 --> 00:08:53,335
- Just sexual activity.
- Let's wrap it up, buddy.

118
00:08:53,943 --> 00:08:55,727
You wanna come home?

119
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,902
I'm sorry, you're cracking me up.

120
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,772
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

121
00:09:01,859 --> 00:09:03,729
Do you wanna come home?

122
00:09:04,468 --> 00:09:06,121
Stop it, seriously.

123
00:09:12,296 --> 00:09:15,427
- That was fun.
- Yeah, yeah.

124
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:18,951
Overall, I think that went really well. Yeah.

125
00:09:28,866 --> 00:09:30,432
I want to have sex with you!

126
00:09:39,391 --> 00:09:42,000
- Are you crying?
- What? No.

127
00:09:43,044 --> 00:09:46,610
I'm sorry that I'm being so weird now.

128
00:09:46,915 --> 00:09:48,698
No, that's okay.

129
00:09:49,307 --> 00:09:50,959
You've been weird

130
00:09:51,916 --> 00:09:57,135
pretty much the whole time,
so it's not unusual. Okay.

131
00:09:57,657 --> 00:10:01,180
Last night, like some sort of idiot, I had sex
with this woman who I barely even know.

132
00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:05,485
I used a condom, but

133
00:10:06,616 --> 00:10:09,443
I'm really scared that I have an STD, Doc.

134
00:10:09,835 --> 00:10:12,139
Peter, I'm a paediatrician. Have you noticed
you're sitting on a fire truck?

135
00:10:13,922 --> 00:10:15,793
- Right.
- Little kids running?

136
00:10:15,879 --> 00:10:19,445
- Yeah, this is new. I like it.
- I'm kind of backed up...

137
00:10:19,663 --> 00:10:22,055
Could you take a look at my penis?

138
00:10:24,447 --> 00:10:25,926
Go ahead. Let me see it.

139
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:28,622
- Sorry.
- That's all right. Take it out.

140
00:10:30,275 --> 00:10:31,319
Good.

141
00:10:31,971 --> 00:10:34,146
- You barely looked at it.
- It's a good-looking dick, Peter.

142
00:10:34,232 --> 00:10:35,929
- Beautiful dick.
- Do you think maybe while I'm here,

143
00:10:36,015 --> 00:10:38,016
- I could get some blood work?
- Peter!

144
00:10:38,407 --> 00:10:39,886
Your girlfriend dumped you, right?
Are you hurting? Are you hurt?

145
00:10:42,191 --> 00:10:46,366
Stop it. Stop crying. Use your dick.
Keep fucking. Fuck everything that moves.

146
00:10:46,671 --> 00:10:47,715
Just wear a condom.

147
00:10:47,801 --> 00:10:51,367
Listen, I'm backed up,
I got a lot of kids. I gotta go, okay?

148
00:10:51,455 --> 00:10:55,021
You want something?
You want a balloon? You want a lolly?

149
00:11:05,024 --> 00:11:06,371
I just came!

150
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:23,768
Hi.

151
00:11:26,595 --> 00:11:27,638
Hi.

152
00:11:28,073 --> 00:11:30,335
- Hi.
- Hi.

153
00:11:30,552 --> 00:11:31,683
Hi.

154
00:11:35,249 --> 00:11:37,641
- Hi.
- Hi.

155
00:11:37,858 --> 00:11:43,599
Okay, do you mind not saying that
over and over again?

156
00:11:44,643 --> 00:11:46,078
You can gag me.

157
00:11:49,644 --> 00:11:52,775
- You brought a gag?
- And handcuffs.

158
00:11:54,341 --> 00:11:56,124
Do you wanna gag me?

159
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,386
Kind of, now.

160
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,997
What've we got today?

161
00:12:06,432 --> 00:12:08,389
Just a walk and talk at the lab.

162
00:12:10,693 --> 00:12:13,520
<i>That's what 20 years on Vice will do to you. </i>

163
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,217
<i>What've we got here?</i>

164
00:12:16,347 --> 00:12:19,348
<i>The victim's penis was found
behind the AC unit. </i>

165
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,219
<i>Ouch!</i>

166
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:23,827
<i>Can you say "dicksicle"?</i>

167
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:27,916
<i>Let's do this. </i>

168
00:12:29,873 --> 00:12:31,438
Okay, I'm ready.

169
00:12:32,395 --> 00:12:35,527
<i>The victim's penis
was found behind the AC unit. </i>

170
00:12:39,179 --> 00:12:42,180
Just go with the usual stuff, maybe.
Something dark and ominous.

171
00:12:42,311 --> 00:12:44,921
Like losing your penis is a bad thing.

172
00:12:47,617 --> 00:12:49,922
Oh, you want dark and ominous.

173
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:54,271
Come on, I got Allman Brother tickets,
I gotta get out of here!

174
00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:58,141
<i>That's what 20 years on Vice will do to you. </i>

175
00:12:59,490 --> 00:13:01,359
<i>What've we got here?</i>

176
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,665
Peter! Peter, Jesus Christ!

177
00:13:03,795 --> 00:13:06,578
You're fucking Billy Baldwin, aren't you?

178
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:09,101
- Aren't you?
- Pete, Pete, Pete.

179
00:13:09,318 --> 00:13:11,275
- Stop staring at me.
- Pete!

180
00:13:13,798 --> 00:13:16,408
You know you're not getting paid
for today's session, right?

181
00:13:16,581 --> 00:13:18,886
- I'm aware of that.
- Fucking asshole.

182
00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:22,234
Peter, it's Brian.

183
00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:24,626
Go away.

184
00:13:25,584 --> 00:13:27,976
Listen, your landlord called me.

185
00:13:28,062 --> 00:13:29,759
Said there's smoke
coming out of your place.

186
00:13:29,845 --> 00:13:32,672
Who, Mr Lopez? 'Cause he's a liar!

187
00:13:33,369 --> 00:13:34,412
He doesn't...

188
00:13:34,629 --> 00:13:36,500
We worry about you, Petey.

189
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:39,022
Yeah, come on, Peter. Open up the door.

190
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:42,370
The fire marshal's gonna come in
and bust it down.

191
00:13:48,503 --> 00:13:50,373
You haven't been
out of the house in two weeks.

192
00:13:50,504 --> 00:13:51,547
Why are you so damn strong?

193
00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:54,244
I feel so strong!

194
00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:57,984
Hey, don't walk away from me.
You come close.

195
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,420
Your place is disgusting, Peter.

196
00:14:01,637 --> 00:14:02,594
Hey, don't walk away from me.

197
00:14:02,681 --> 00:14:03,724
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey!

198
00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:07,465
What are you burning, man? Come on.

199
00:14:07,595 --> 00:14:08,639
It's everything.

200
00:14:08,726 --> 00:14:11,465
It's everything that reminds me of her
and I need it gone!

201
00:14:11,553 --> 00:14:15,728
Okay, I thought I was fine, Brian,
and I'm not. I'm not fine at all.

202
00:14:15,945 --> 00:14:18,729
Okay, let's just put the picture down.

203
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,773
Put that down. Let's discuss this.

204
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,948
- I love her, man.
- I know.

205
00:14:24,165 --> 00:14:29,906
Look, Liz and I, we think the world of Sarah.

206
00:14:30,123 --> 00:14:31,906
We think she's great.

207
00:14:32,428 --> 00:14:34,386
Okay, but everything...

208
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,560
I'm just being honest here.

209
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:39,909
Every time she would come over
to our house,

210
00:14:41,169 --> 00:14:42,822
she always acted,

211
00:14:43,996 --> 00:14:47,302
you know, like a little bitch!

212
00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:50,346
Okay, okay, pump the brakes.

213
00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:53,695
Dating Sarah is not like dating Liz. Okay?

214
00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:55,782
Sarah is better than Liz.

215
00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:58,565
You really wanna have this conversation?

216
00:14:59,522 --> 00:15:02,219
Do you really
wanna have this conversation?

217
00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:04,611
Yes.

218
00:15:04,741 --> 00:15:06,612
- She is the mother of my unborn child.
- Sorry.

219
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,090
You're my stepbrother.
We're not even blood.

220
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:12,222
I have no qualms with sticking you.
I will equalize you.

221
00:15:12,352 --> 00:15:13,918
- Sorry.
- You dick!

222
00:15:14,309 --> 00:15:15,788
I'm just worked up.

223
00:15:16,614 --> 00:15:19,224
You gotta get your shit together, man.

224
00:15:19,528 --> 00:15:21,398
I'm trying to. It's so hard here.

225
00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:24,747
Brian, everywhere I look,
I'm reminded of her, okay?

226
00:15:24,964 --> 00:15:27,660
Like, she got me this,

227
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,444
okay, because I would always leave
my cereal boxes open,

228
00:15:31,618 --> 00:15:32,879
and the cereal would get stale,

229
00:15:33,097 --> 00:15:35,793
and so one day I came home,
and she had this waiting for me,

230
00:15:35,924 --> 00:15:40,099
because it keeps my cereal fresh.
And now I have the freshest cereal.

231
00:15:43,535 --> 00:15:45,187
Why don't you,
you know what, go on a vacation?

232
00:15:45,274 --> 00:15:46,970
Go to the Alps.

233
00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,971
- Alps?
- Go to Gstaad. It's the best.

234
00:15:50,102 --> 00:15:51,362
I could go to Hawaii.

235
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,277
Sarah was always talking about this place
in Hawaii that was supposed to be nice.

236
00:15:54,363 --> 00:15:56,016
No, don't. I wouldn't go there.

237
00:15:56,146 --> 00:15:59,800
What, I can't go to Hawaii now, because
Sarah Marshall has heard of Hawaii?

238
00:15:59,887 --> 00:16:02,192
Then go to Hawaii. Go to Hawaii.

239
00:16:02,801 --> 00:16:03,845
Do it.

240
00:16:09,673 --> 00:16:11,672
No, no, no, don't destroy the computer.

241
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,021
I'm just deleting these pictures.

242
00:16:13,151 --> 00:16:15,631
Okay, I need them off my computer.

243
00:16:17,196 --> 00:16:20,415
You know what? You're not even doing
a proper permanent delete.

244
00:16:20,545 --> 00:16:21,806
Well...

245
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,720
If we end up getting back together,
I wanna have a few of them left.

246
00:16:24,807 --> 00:16:25,850
You're crazy.

247
00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:28,982
- No, no, please don't delete them.
- They have to go. Done, done.

248
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,856
<i>That was hilarious. Aloha!</i>

249
00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:49,118
<i>I'm Sarah Marshall from Crime Scene:
Scene of the crime. </i>

250
00:16:49,205 --> 00:16:51,814
<i>And when I'm not scrubbing for evidence,
I'm flying Hawaiian Airlines... </i>

251
00:16:52,032 --> 00:16:52,945
Excuse me! Hi.

252
00:16:53,076 --> 00:16:54,424
<i>... to my favourite destinations. Mahalo. </i>

253
00:16:54,511 --> 00:16:56,207
Hi, can I have another bloody mary, please?

254
00:16:57,772 --> 00:16:59,860
You're still working on that one.

255
00:16:59,947 --> 00:17:02,470
It's just an anticipatory order.

256
00:17:02,556 --> 00:17:04,557
Okay, I'll be right back!

257
00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:18,517
<i>What do you think caused
such excessive bleeding?</i>

258
00:17:18,735 --> 00:17:22,779
<i>He was either stabbed in the aorta
or it was his time of the month. </i>

259
00:17:34,565 --> 00:17:35,740
<i>Aloha!</i>

260
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:38,740
Check in this way.

261
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,178
- Just married?
- Yes, how did you guess?

262
00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:56,049
Oh, you've got that magic newlywed dust
all over you.

263
00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:59,703
- Oh, my wife.
- Oh, my husband.

264
00:17:59,789 --> 00:18:01,486
- Oh, my wife.
- My husband.

265
00:18:01,572 --> 00:18:03,573
My old ball and chain.

266
00:18:07,835 --> 00:18:10,227
You quit squirming and come here.

267
00:18:11,054 --> 00:18:13,141
What is into you?

268
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,446
Not me, yet.

269
00:18:15,533 --> 00:18:19,621
Here is your room key.
So you're all set. Room 222.

270
00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:21,796
Room key's inside,
and the elevators are to the right.

271
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:23,056
<i>Mahalo. </i>

272
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,709
Congratulations.

273
00:18:27,449 --> 00:18:29,407
Here you go, sir. Have some POG juice.

274
00:18:29,537 --> 00:18:31,494
Welcome to Turtle Bay.
What can I do for you?

275
00:18:31,624 --> 00:18:33,798
I'm checking in.
My name's Bretter, Peter Bretter,

276
00:18:33,886 --> 00:18:34,930
but actually, I don't have a reservation.

277
00:18:36,713 --> 00:18:39,235
I just thought I'd take my chances.

278
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:41,714
Bold!

279
00:18:42,453 --> 00:18:46,411
We are all booked up,
but we do have the Kapua suite available.

280
00:18:46,628 --> 00:18:49,325
- Okay. How much is that?
- $6,000 a night.

281
00:18:50,282 --> 00:18:52,456
- Wow.
- Beautiful views.

282
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:54,543
I can imagine.
That's a little bit out of my price range.

283
00:18:54,631 --> 00:18:56,414
Sorry.

284
00:18:56,544 --> 00:18:58,936
That's a shame. This is a beautiful

285
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,937
hotel.

286
00:19:02,894 --> 00:19:05,808
<i>Oh, yeah, it's Sarah Marshall
from Crime Scene. </i>

287
00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:08,200
People are excited that she's here.

288
00:19:09,895 --> 00:19:13,114
She's my ex-girlfriend.
We broke up three weeks ago.

289
00:19:13,201 --> 00:19:15,419
- I'm sorry, sir.
- Right. This is fine, right?

290
00:19:15,506 --> 00:19:18,420
- Sir?
- It's totally fine. Okay, there she is.

291
00:19:20,812 --> 00:19:23,725
- Did she see me? Is she coming over here?
- Uh-huh. Yup.

292
00:19:23,856 --> 00:19:25,509
I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.

293
00:19:25,639 --> 00:19:28,640
Fair enough.
Why don't you try to unbutton it?

294
00:19:30,292 --> 00:19:31,858
Button it back up.

295
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:34,815
- Peter!
- Hey.

296
00:19:35,511 --> 00:19:37,598
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?

297
00:19:38,121 --> 00:19:40,122
Came here to murder you.

298
00:19:40,730 --> 00:19:43,035
Really, what are you doing here?

299
00:19:43,861 --> 00:19:47,080
I have been having a tough time,
you know, back in LA.

300
00:19:47,601 --> 00:19:50,211
But then I came here, and here you are.

301
00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:53,038
I just think that's too crazy to be...

302
00:19:53,168 --> 00:19:55,647
Hello there, you little sex object.

303
00:19:55,735 --> 00:19:58,474
I've lost a shoe.
Have you seen it anywhere?

304
00:19:58,561 --> 00:20:02,649
It's like this one, but, you know,
obviously it's the opposite one.

305
00:20:04,085 --> 00:20:09,303
Excuse me, missus, I've lost a shoe.
Like this one. It's like this one's fellow.

306
00:20:09,434 --> 00:20:12,521
- Sort of the exact opposite, in fact, of that.
Uh-huh.

307
00:20:12,652 --> 00:20:15,044
Not an evil version, but just, you know,

308
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:19,306
a shoe like this, but for the other foot.
Otherwise, I'd have two right...

309
00:20:19,437 --> 00:20:20,871
Aldous, this is Peter.

310
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:24,830
Hey, all right, Peter.
Nice to meet you, mate. Aldous.

311
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,308
- Good to meet you, man.
- My ex-boyfriend.

312
00:20:28,396 --> 00:20:30,483
Right. Hey, I'm Aldous Snow.

313
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:32,962
I know who you are.
Yeah, you're very, very famous.

314
00:20:33,180 --> 00:20:35,049
Yeah, I am. I am for my sins.

315
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:37,659
So are you staying here, as well?

316
00:20:37,790 --> 00:20:39,138
- I'm not, as a matter of fact...
- I'm sorry.

317
00:20:39,224 --> 00:20:41,747
Excuse me, Mr Bretter, Ms Marshall,

318
00:20:41,834 --> 00:20:46,009
but we were able to book the
Kapua suite for you, sir, for four nights.

319
00:20:48,836 --> 00:20:50,489
- You were?
- Yes, sir.

320
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,794
- Marvellous.
- Perfect. Perfect amount of time.

321
00:20:54,881 --> 00:20:57,360
Listen, if you wanna have dinner with us
one of those nights...

322
00:20:57,491 --> 00:20:58,839
- Aldous.
... feel very...

323
00:20:58,926 --> 00:20:59,969
No.

324
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,275
That's very gentlemanly of you,
but you two enjoy your trip.

325
00:21:02,492 --> 00:21:04,493
I'll be just fine on my own.

326
00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:07,189
- All right, Peter.
- The Kapua suite...

327
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:11,060
- Have a good trip, Pete.
- I like your shirt. It's colourful.

328
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,625
- Bye.
- Bye now.

329
00:21:13,017 --> 00:21:15,409
Ta-ta. I was wearing two shoes
this morning, right?

330
00:21:20,932 --> 00:21:23,323
Thank you. Thank you for bailing me out.
I still can't afford that room.

331
00:21:25,411 --> 00:21:27,716
Nobody can.
It's for, like, Oprah or, like, C�line Dion.

332
00:21:27,846 --> 00:21:29,064
Really, it's not a big deal.

333
00:21:29,195 --> 00:21:31,673
So you can stay in the suite,
but since you're not technically a guest,

334
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,979
you have to clean up after yourself.

335
00:21:34,197 --> 00:21:36,675
Otherwise, here is your room key

336
00:21:37,719 --> 00:21:39,502
and enjoy your stay.

337
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,851
Why are you doing this for me?

338
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:47,852
She's here with some guy already?
Kind of messed up.

339
00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:49,722
- Right?
- Yeah.

340
00:21:51,201 --> 00:21:52,941
- Thank you.
- Really, it's not a big deal.

341
00:21:53,071 --> 00:21:54,419
Go enjoy yourself.

342
00:21:54,506 --> 00:21:57,332
Rachel Jansen.
A thousand times, thank you,

343
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,725
- you know what I mean...
- Go enjoy yourself.

344
00:21:59,942 --> 00:22:02,334
<i>- This is a disaster!
Calm down, man. </i>

345
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,422
<i>Are there other hotels on the island?</i>

346
00:22:04,552 --> 00:22:05,901
Of course there are other hotels,

347
00:22:05,987 --> 00:22:07,988
but I'm not leaving here,
it'll look like I'm running away.

348
00:22:08,075 --> 00:22:11,424
Wait. Why are you whispering?
You're not following them, are you?

349
00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:12,684
I had a girlfriend, right?

350
00:22:12,772 --> 00:22:16,817
And Liam and Noel Gallagher
both had it off with her right in front of me,

351
00:22:16,947 --> 00:22:18,295
so that's similar.

352
00:22:18,382 --> 00:22:19,860
And that was a bit awkward, actually.

353
00:22:20,078 --> 00:22:22,992
So if you do wanna change hotels,
I quite understand.

354
00:22:23,079 --> 00:22:25,602
No, no, I'm not changing hotels.

355
00:22:25,688 --> 00:22:27,906
Stop following
and just go back to your room, Peter.

356
00:22:27,994 --> 00:22:30,081
<i>- They're gone!
- Why are you looking for them?</i>

357
00:22:30,168 --> 00:22:32,038
<i>- I don't know.
- You're acting like an idiot. </i>

358
00:22:32,169 --> 00:22:34,038
<i>Run! Get out of there! Go to your room!</i>

359
00:22:34,256 --> 00:22:36,213
<i>- What do you think they're doing?
- Peter, go. </i>

360
00:22:36,344 --> 00:22:38,213
Oh, God! Okay, there they are.

361
00:22:38,431 --> 00:22:40,084
<i>- There they are, I see them.
- Go back to your room, Peter. </i>

362
00:22:40,171 --> 00:22:41,737
Peter, go back to your room.
Go back to your room, Peter.

363
00:22:41,867 --> 00:22:42,911
I'm going in.

364
00:22:42,997 --> 00:22:44,694
<i>Go back to your room, Peter.
Are you listening to me?</i>

365
00:22:44,868 --> 00:22:46,956
<i>Peter, go back to your room.
Peter, Peter, Peter... </i>

366
00:22:47,303 --> 00:22:48,347
<i>Hey!</i>

367
00:22:49,695 --> 00:22:51,565
Hey, nice room.

368
00:22:51,782 --> 00:22:53,218
<i>Go!</i>

369
00:22:53,870 --> 00:22:55,827
I am in the Kapua suite.

370
00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:58,872
<i>What are you doing? Sucker!</i>

371
00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:00,090
Have fun.

372
00:23:01,655 --> 00:23:03,656
<i>Listen, you piece of shit!</i>

373
00:23:04,265 --> 00:23:08,440
<i>You're an idiot. Back to your room, Peter.
Peter, back to your room. </i>

374
00:23:10,527 --> 00:23:11,788
Did you enjoy that?

375
00:23:12,006 --> 00:23:14,484
<i>- Did you like what you saw?
- That hurt a lot. </i>

376
00:23:14,615 --> 00:23:17,616
But I know Sarah,
and I'm pretty sure I just ruined her day.

377
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,229
<i>You know
how we thought the killer masturbated</i>

378
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,535
<i>before he committed each homicide?</i>

379
00:23:37,665 --> 00:23:39,318
<i>That's the theory. </i>

380
00:23:39,535 --> 00:23:41,622
<i>Take a look at the microscope. </i>

381
00:23:44,014 --> 00:23:46,841
<i>Oh, yeah, looks like where he's going,</i>

382
00:23:48,059 --> 00:23:50,668
<i>he'll need to know how to masturbate. </i>

383
00:24:02,976 --> 00:24:04,020
Oh, God!

384
00:24:08,716 --> 00:24:10,587
<i>- Hello.
Hey, Peter?</i>

385
00:24:11,848 --> 00:24:13,935
<i>- Sarah?
- No. </i>

386
00:24:14,023 --> 00:24:17,284
It's Rachel Jansen, from the front desk.

387
00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:22,285
<i>- Hey!
- Hey, what's going on up there?</i>

388
00:24:22,373 --> 00:24:25,591
I'm getting complaints
about a woman crying hysterically.

389
00:24:25,721 --> 00:24:28,636
Yeah, you know what, I hear her, too,

390
00:24:28,722 --> 00:24:31,984
and it sounds like
she's having such a hard time.

391
00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:34,768
I think it's coming from the floor above me.

392
00:24:34,985 --> 00:24:36,855
You're on the top floor.

393
00:24:38,855 --> 00:24:40,856
I'll try to keep it down.

394
00:24:41,465 --> 00:24:43,857
<i>- Are you okay?
- Yeah, you have a nice night. </i>

395
00:24:43,944 --> 00:24:45,118
<i>Okay. </i>

396
00:24:59,818 --> 00:25:03,993
I would love to sell you some weed, Jeremy,
but I'm at my fucking job right now.

397
00:25:04,210 --> 00:25:08,342
Obviously, because you called me at work,
you know that I'm at my place of work.

398
00:25:08,473 --> 00:25:10,430
So I can't just leave here
and sell you some weed.

399
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,865
I can sell you some weed when I'm done.

400
00:25:12,952 --> 00:25:16,518
<i>Hold on, I gotta call you back.
Mahalo, all right. </i>

401
00:25:16,692 --> 00:25:18,910
- Hey, how's it going?
- Hey.

402
00:25:18,997 --> 00:25:20,650
I'd just like to grab some dinner, please.

403
00:25:20,868 --> 00:25:23,781
- Okay, great. Is your wife gonna meet you?
- No.

404
00:25:24,738 --> 00:25:26,303
Your girlfriend?

405
00:25:27,565 --> 00:25:29,827
No, I don't have a girlfriend.

406
00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:34,436
- You're just by yourself?
- Yeah.

407
00:25:34,958 --> 00:25:36,220
Sucks.

408
00:25:36,306 --> 00:25:39,742
Okay, so just one. Here's your wine list
and your menu. Come on.

409
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,308
Do you want, like, a magazine
or something?

410
00:25:41,438 --> 00:25:43,612
It's gonna be boring
if you're just sitting by yourself.

411
00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:44,874
I'll be all right. Thank you.

412
00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:47,266
I just would be so depressed.

413
00:25:47,353 --> 00:25:48,701
- Yeah.
- Here you go.

414
00:25:48,831 --> 00:25:49,875
Thank you.

415
00:25:50,788 --> 00:25:54,355
The best thing is,
you have the greatest table in the house.

416
00:25:54,442 --> 00:25:56,660
- Oh, yeah?
- That's Aldous Snow right there.

417
00:25:56,747 --> 00:25:58,834
I know. I know, dude. I know.

418
00:25:59,139 --> 00:26:01,140
- I'm gonna ask him. I'll ask him politely.
- No, please don't, please.

419
00:26:02,356 --> 00:26:03,400
Mate!

420
00:26:04,662 --> 00:26:06,967
Why don't you come over and sit with us?
You'll be very welcome.

421
00:26:07,054 --> 00:26:10,315
No, thank you. I need a drink.

422
00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,621
Would you guys like a drink?

423
00:26:13,751 --> 00:26:16,057
Well, no, actually, because...

424
00:26:16,361 --> 00:26:19,883
Seven years clean.
That's what this tattoo denotes.

425
00:26:20,014 --> 00:26:22,406
Seven years free from drugs and alcohol.

426
00:26:22,492 --> 00:26:24,711
If I have just one sip of wine,

427
00:26:24,798 --> 00:26:28,668
by the end of the evening,
I'll be, like, rimming waiters for their tips

428
00:26:28,843 --> 00:26:30,017
just to get me hands on a rock.

429
00:26:30,103 --> 00:26:32,191
You know what I mean? Nasty.

430
00:26:33,365 --> 00:26:36,061
I heard that.
- Hey, what's up, man?

431
00:26:36,453 --> 00:26:38,236
How are you enjoying
your vegetable medley?

432
00:26:38,367 --> 00:26:39,802
It's mundane.

433
00:26:40,454 --> 00:26:42,846
It is mundane. It's great, I know.

434
00:26:43,063 --> 00:26:44,586
Will you marry me?

435
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:47,021
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yes!

436
00:26:47,108 --> 00:26:48,674
- She said yes!
- Beautiful.

437
00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:50,848
Congratulations!

438
00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:57,024
I'm so excited! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

439
00:26:57,938 --> 00:26:59,112
Peter!

440
00:27:01,808 --> 00:27:03,069
What's up?

441
00:27:03,808 --> 00:27:05,765
- Are you doing okay?
- Yeah.

442
00:27:05,983 --> 00:27:07,548
Yeah, I'm good.

443
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,550
Look, did you follow me here?
Did my assistant tell you I was coming?

444
00:27:12,637 --> 00:27:14,029
- No.
- Did you talk to her?

445
00:27:14,115 --> 00:27:18,290
No, I didn't talk to your assistant.
It's not all about you, you know.

446
00:27:18,508 --> 00:27:23,074
Hawaii is a beautiful place.
People come here, usually not to follow you.

447
00:27:23,509 --> 00:27:26,206
So you're really staying?
You're gonna stay?

448
00:27:26,336 --> 00:27:30,076
Yeah, I think so. I really like it here.
I feel at home here.

449
00:27:30,381 --> 00:27:31,859
I just love it.

450
00:27:33,077 --> 00:27:34,643
Yeah, you should stay.

451
00:27:34,774 --> 00:27:37,035
I appreciate your consideration.

452
00:27:37,383 --> 00:27:39,993
Sounds like Aldous probably
shared a lot of needles,

453
00:27:40,079 --> 00:27:42,471
so thank you for dating him after me.

454
00:27:42,689 --> 00:27:44,254
- I appreciate that.
- Hmm.

455
00:27:45,602 --> 00:27:49,561
- Hope you have a really good time here.
- Have a great dinner.

456
00:27:49,691 --> 00:27:50,909
Thank you.

457
00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:53,648
Groupie whore.

458
00:27:54,171 --> 00:27:55,605
Psycho stalker.

459
00:27:56,258 --> 00:28:00,824
You know what? It's vacation.
I think I'll just take a pi�a colada, please.

460
00:28:08,870 --> 00:28:10,522
Look at this guy.

461
00:28:10,740 --> 00:28:13,349
Look at this guy.

462
00:28:15,220 --> 00:28:18,133
Not us, buddy. Right? Not us.

463
00:28:18,351 --> 00:28:22,090
<i>I'm on Sex and the City.
What's up, Miranda?</i>

464
00:28:23,134 --> 00:28:27,223
I'm Samantha. I have sex with everyone.

465
00:28:27,309 --> 00:28:29,310
Maybe it's a good thing that they're here.

466
00:28:29,397 --> 00:28:32,311
You know what I mean?
Maybe this is a challenge from God

467
00:28:32,442 --> 00:28:34,399
for me to forget her. You know?

468
00:28:34,616 --> 00:28:38,791
Or maybe it's a sign from God
that you should be with her.

469
00:28:39,704 --> 00:28:41,401
I love her show.

470
00:28:41,922 --> 00:28:45,227
When they mix the sexuality
and the violence, I like it.

471
00:28:45,358 --> 00:28:47,663
What the hell is wrong with you two?
You gotta move on.

472
00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:49,925
I hear you say that, but it's not that easy.

473
00:28:50,055 --> 00:28:52,229
It's that easy. Promise you it is.

474
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,012
I lived in South Central.

475
00:28:54,230 --> 00:28:56,927
South Central. And I hated it.

476
00:28:57,013 --> 00:28:58,275
That's why I moved to Oahu.

477
00:28:58,405 --> 00:29:00,667
Now I can name you
over 200 different kinds of fish.

478
00:29:00,797 --> 00:29:02,362
- No, you can't.
- Oh, yes, I can.

479
00:29:02,537 --> 00:29:03,929
- Do it.
- Yeah, you cannot.

480
00:29:04,015 --> 00:29:09,017
G. Ghost pipefish, grill fish, goaler fish
grouper fish, greenback...

481
00:29:09,234 --> 00:29:10,887
What's the state fish of Hawaii?

482
00:29:11,017 --> 00:29:12,583
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a.

483
00:29:12,757 --> 00:29:14,453
- Yeah, bitch.
- Hey.

484
00:29:15,192 --> 00:29:17,802
- You ready?
- Yeah, just gonna close up.

485
00:29:20,715 --> 00:29:24,543
Hello, Mr Bretter, Mr Brayden.
Where's your wife, sir?

486
00:29:25,065 --> 00:29:27,370
She is in bed.

487
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:29,458
How are things going with the lady?

488
00:29:29,544 --> 00:29:33,719
<i>Not awesome.
She's complicated, like The Da Vinci Code,</i>

489
00:29:34,589 --> 00:29:37,373
you know, but harder to crack.

490
00:29:38,721 --> 00:29:42,592
But life is full of lessons.
You learn something new every day.

491
00:29:44,287 --> 00:29:46,984
Wonder what I'm going to learn tomorrow.

492
00:29:48,419 --> 00:29:49,594
Well.

493
00:29:50,202 --> 00:29:51,551
- Good night, sir.
- Good night.

494
00:29:51,768 --> 00:29:52,811
Good night, sir.

495
00:29:52,942 --> 00:29:55,638
Off to find the mythical clitoris.

496
00:29:56,900 --> 00:30:02,205
So, Peter, were you able to get
that crying lady out of your room?

497
00:30:03,467 --> 00:30:04,902
'Cause I could send someone up,
if you want.

498
00:30:05,032 --> 00:30:06,771
- Oh, you could?
- Yeah.

499
00:30:07,642 --> 00:30:10,338
That's very funny. It is.

500
00:30:11,469 --> 00:30:15,644
Well, listen, Sarah Marshall Show sucks.
Who cares?

501
00:30:15,774 --> 00:30:18,384
I do the music for that programme.

502
00:30:19,601 --> 00:30:22,124
Did I mention that the music rocks?

503
00:30:23,689 --> 00:30:27,343
That's very sweet of you.
That's very sweet of you to say.

504
00:30:27,430 --> 00:30:29,517
You don't have to say that, though.
It's not music.

505
00:30:29,604 --> 00:30:32,214
There's no melody, it's just tones.

506
00:30:32,344 --> 00:30:34,432
Just dark, ominous tones.

507
00:30:36,215 --> 00:30:39,302
"The masturbating dog killer
is on the loose again.

508
00:30:39,432 --> 00:30:42,129
"He'll kill the owner,
but at least the dogs are happy. "

509
00:30:49,131 --> 00:30:51,741
I'm no Aldous Snow, I guess, you know.

510
00:30:56,611 --> 00:30:59,352
<i>
Time to start the music</i>

511
00:30:59,743 --> 00:31:01,656
<i>All gonna light the light</i>

512
00:31:02,265 --> 00:31:06,223
<i>Yeah, yeah, gonna get things started
on The Muppet Show tonight</i>

513
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,530
- Whipped cream or berry?
- Whipped cream.

514
00:31:18,313 --> 00:31:21,531
Here we are, sir. Have a wonderful breakfast.

515
00:31:21,966 --> 00:31:24,358
What a lovely table, so close to the buffet.

516
00:31:24,488 --> 00:31:26,880
<i>I'm glad you like it. Mahalo. </i>

517
00:31:30,839 --> 00:31:32,622
Good morning, sir.
Can I start you with anything?

518
00:31:32,708 --> 00:31:33,970
Orange juice, coffee?

519
00:31:34,056 --> 00:31:37,492
What about, like, some pineapple juice
with a little bit of rum on the side.

520
00:31:37,623 --> 00:31:41,450
Of course. I like your style. Cocktail guy.

521
00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:43,538
- Thank you.
- You are welcome.

522
00:31:43,755 --> 00:31:45,625
We've already reserved
the sea kayak for noon.

523
00:31:45,756 --> 00:31:48,669
Honey, I know that,
but you know that I wanted to see...

524
00:31:48,757 --> 00:31:52,323
- Hey. Hello there, friend.
- Hey.

525
00:31:52,409 --> 00:31:54,801
How are you guys? How was your evening?

526
00:31:54,932 --> 00:31:56,280
- Great.
- Awesome.

527
00:31:56,584 --> 00:31:59,107
- I can't feel anything.
- All right.

528
00:31:59,629 --> 00:32:02,021
- Does that feel good?
- I still can't feel anything.

529
00:32:02,108 --> 00:32:04,326
Okay, 'cause it hurts me.

530
00:32:04,413 --> 00:32:07,240
- Would you do that for me?
- Yeah.

531
00:32:08,153 --> 00:32:11,936
- Yeah.
- No, no, no. No.

532
00:32:12,459 --> 00:32:15,372
God put our mouths on our head
for a reason. No!

533
00:32:17,852 --> 00:32:20,243
- I'm going to the bathroom.
- Okay.

534
00:32:21,287 --> 00:32:26,202
- Is everything okay with...
- Waffles.

535
00:32:29,768 --> 00:32:33,072
- Here you go, sir. Breakfast of champions.
- Oh, thank you.

536
00:32:33,204 --> 00:32:37,770
And don't tell anybody, but...
A little extra love for you.

537
00:32:39,553 --> 00:32:40,683
Thank you.

538
00:32:40,815 --> 00:32:43,207
- Take it easy.
- You, too.

539
00:32:55,818 --> 00:32:57,601
- Hi.
- Hi.

540
00:32:57,776 --> 00:32:59,167
This is the yoga place, yeah?

541
00:32:59,254 --> 00:33:02,602
Yes. But there's no alcohol allowed
in the studio.

542
00:33:03,342 --> 00:33:07,474
Oh, no, I mean, obviously.
This is just pineapple juice.

543
00:33:08,735 --> 00:33:12,170
Well, there's no outside drinks
allowed in the studio.

544
00:33:13,128 --> 00:33:14,476
- Can I set it down?
- Sure.

545
00:33:14,693 --> 00:33:16,868
- Cool, thank you.
- I like your hat.

546
00:33:16,998 --> 00:33:20,129
- Thank you.
- Please remove it before class.

547
00:33:22,826 --> 00:33:25,957
Hey, everyone,
why don't you all grab your mats?

548
00:33:27,914 --> 00:33:32,089
<i>Sorry, I recognise you from the cover
of Namaste Magazine. I'm a huge fan. </i>

549
00:33:32,394 --> 00:33:34,612
Thank you. That's so sweet of you to say.

550
00:33:34,829 --> 00:33:38,482
I appreciate that.
Obviously, I don't do yoga for recognition.

551
00:33:38,656 --> 00:33:42,527
Right, of course you wouldn't.
Then stop being so good at it.

552
00:33:44,397 --> 00:33:46,919
That's very flexible. That's nice.

553
00:33:49,094 --> 00:33:52,312
- And, you, I recognise you from your show.
- Thank you.

554
00:33:52,442 --> 00:33:54,834
You seem much taller on your show.

555
00:33:55,792 --> 00:33:57,966
- I'm not.
- No, I know.

556
00:34:00,141 --> 00:34:03,489
Okay, if you just wanna start
by bringing your palms into your chest.

557
00:34:03,707 --> 00:34:07,447
Today we're gonna start with
the Surya Namaskar, or Sun Salutation.

558
00:34:07,534 --> 00:34:09,751
Let's take a deep inale in.

559
00:34:10,274 --> 00:34:12,361
Exhale and release the hands.

560
00:34:12,448 --> 00:34:15,275
Inale, arms up to the sky. Continue.

561
00:34:16,319 --> 00:34:19,233
Good, exhale and folding forward.

562
00:34:19,972 --> 00:34:24,147
Strong, strong backs. Good, excellent.

563
00:34:24,234 --> 00:34:26,017
Remember this is not a competition,

564
00:34:26,235 --> 00:34:28,495
although you two seem
to be the best in the class.

565
00:34:28,713 --> 00:34:31,105
Excellent. Perfect form, you two, perfect.

566
00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:33,932
Coming up into downward-facing dog.

567
00:34:34,541 --> 00:34:36,759
Good. It's really important in this pose,

568
00:34:36,977 --> 00:34:40,195
that you arch your back
and keep it flat at the same time.

569
00:34:40,281 --> 00:34:42,805
I feel like those are opposing ideas.

570
00:34:43,022 --> 00:34:47,197
No, they're not, 'cause you're arching
your back up while it's flat.

571
00:34:47,284 --> 00:34:48,415
Okay.

572
00:34:50,937 --> 00:34:55,112
Good, yeah, sweat it out.
Sweat out all the toxins from this morning.

573
00:34:55,416 --> 00:34:57,590
- Come on, lady.
- My name is Prana,

574
00:34:57,722 --> 00:34:59,982
and I know that wasn't just juice.

575
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:04,680
You don't really need any adjusting,
so I'm just gonna do this for myself.

576
00:35:05,332 --> 00:35:07,419
Just to learn from your body,

577
00:35:07,724 --> 00:35:09,376
memorize your body.

578
00:35:10,203 --> 00:35:12,812
- Good. Strong legs.
- Come on.

579
00:35:13,769 --> 00:35:15,770
Perfect skin and form.

580
00:35:16,683 --> 00:35:19,727
Okay, class, I'd like to now
move into a tripod headstand.

581
00:35:19,902 --> 00:35:21,597
This is more of an advanced pose,

582
00:35:21,815 --> 00:35:24,511
so if you don't feel comfortable
or strong enough,

583
00:35:24,598 --> 00:35:28,382
please feel free to just lay on your mat
in child's pose.

584
00:35:28,469 --> 00:35:29,730
I got it.

585
00:35:29,947 --> 00:35:32,948
All right, so let's all come down to our mats.

586
00:35:33,166 --> 00:35:36,297
Get in a prep position
for the tripod headstand.

587
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,428
If you don't feel comfortable,

588
00:35:37,646 --> 00:35:40,777
there's no shame
in just laying on your mat in child's pose.

589
00:35:40,863 --> 00:35:42,342
Lady, I got it.

590
00:35:42,430 --> 00:35:45,343
Good, so let's prep to come up. Good.

591
00:35:46,822 --> 00:35:49,866
Sir, if you just want to lay down
in child's pose.

592
00:35:49,953 --> 00:35:50,997
Now, you all heard me say,

593
00:35:51,084 --> 00:35:54,128
"If you want to be in child's pose,
that's okay. "

594
00:35:54,215 --> 00:35:56,303
- Just in case he gets hurt.
- Bring it, bring it.

595
00:35:56,433 --> 00:35:58,607
I don't want you to break your neck.

596
00:35:58,825 --> 00:36:00,260
- What's up?
- Just relax.

597
00:36:00,478 --> 00:36:02,348
My legs, that's what.

598
00:36:02,478 --> 00:36:04,653
We're doing quiet headstands today.

599
00:36:04,740 --> 00:36:07,697
I'm doing a handstand, motherfucker!
I'm doing a handstand.

600
00:36:07,784 --> 00:36:09,437
Okay, you know, why don't we just release.

601
00:36:09,567 --> 00:36:10,785
Thank God.

602
00:36:11,220 --> 00:36:13,743
Good, everybody. Good.

603
00:36:18,004 --> 00:36:19,135
Hey.

604
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,919
Are you Chuck?

605
00:36:21,005 --> 00:36:24,354
Oh, man, you know,
they won't change that flyer.

606
00:36:24,659 --> 00:36:28,007
That's my mainland name.
My Hawaiian name is Koonu.

607
00:36:28,442 --> 00:36:29,660
Cool, sorry.

608
00:36:29,878 --> 00:36:31,052
No, it's all good.

609
00:36:31,138 --> 00:36:34,183
Does Koonu have some, like,
cool Hawaiian meaning?

610
00:36:34,270 --> 00:36:36,140
It means Chuck.

611
00:36:36,227 --> 00:36:37,705
I plugged it into a database.

612
00:36:37,923 --> 00:36:41,055
There's a thing you can go on,
on the Internet, you just type in your name,

613
00:36:41,271 --> 00:36:42,315
and it just says it.

614
00:36:44,359 --> 00:36:45,316
What's your name?

615
00:36:45,534 --> 00:36:46,664
- I'm Peter.
- Peter.

616
00:36:46,882 --> 00:36:48,447
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna give you a Hawaiian name.

617
00:36:48,534 --> 00:36:49,796
Oh, great.

618
00:36:53,362 --> 00:36:54,710
Pepiopi.

619
00:36:57,015 --> 00:36:59,190
- Great.
- Pepiopi, looks like you've got a little pain

620
00:36:59,407 --> 00:37:01,147
behind those eyes.

621
00:37:02,712 --> 00:37:04,495
Yeah, maybe a little.

622
00:37:05,322 --> 00:37:07,409
There's really only one cure for that.

623
00:37:07,540 --> 00:37:08,583
What's that?

624
00:37:08,670 --> 00:37:10,323
Weed. You got any?

625
00:37:12,628 --> 00:37:15,020
- No.
- Well, then let's go surfing.

626
00:37:18,151 --> 00:37:21,283
Okay, when we're out there,
I want you to ignore your instincts.

627
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:24,544
I'm gonna be your instincts.
Koonu will be your instincts.

628
00:37:24,718 --> 00:37:26,110
Don't do anything.

629
00:37:26,197 --> 00:37:28,589
Don't try to surf, don't do it.

630
00:37:29,545 --> 00:37:31,720
The less you do, the more you do.

631
00:37:31,937 --> 00:37:34,243
Let's see you pop up. Pop it up!

632
00:37:38,287 --> 00:37:39,418
That's not it at all.

633
00:37:39,548 --> 00:37:40,984
Do less. Get down. Try less. Do it again.

634
00:37:43,288 --> 00:37:44,420
Pop up.

635
00:37:45,159 --> 00:37:46,854
No, too slow. Do less.

636
00:37:46,942 --> 00:37:48,072
Pop up.

637
00:37:48,725 --> 00:37:49,769
Pop up.

638
00:37:49,855 --> 00:37:52,161
You're doing too much. Do less. Pop down.

639
00:37:52,247 --> 00:37:53,421
Pop up now.

640
00:37:53,596 --> 00:37:54,857
Stop! Get down. Get down there.

641
00:37:55,074 --> 00:37:57,162
Remember, don't do anything.

642
00:37:57,901 --> 00:37:59,467
Nothing. Pop up.

643
00:38:02,164 --> 00:38:03,729
Well, you... No, you gotta do more than that,

644
00:38:03,816 --> 00:38:04,990
'cause you're just laying right out.

645
00:38:05,077 --> 00:38:06,121
It looks like you're boogie-boarding.

646
00:38:06,251 --> 00:38:08,339
Just do it. Feel it. Pop up.

647
00:38:09,991 --> 00:38:12,906
Yeah. That wasn't quite it,
but we're gonna figure it out, out there.

648
00:38:12,992 --> 00:38:14,036
Let's go surfing, come on.

649
00:38:14,166 --> 00:38:16,124
Everybody's learning how, come on and...

650
00:38:16,254 --> 00:38:18,559
<i> The weather outside is weather</i>

651
00:38:20,212 --> 00:38:22,300
How long you lived out here?

652
00:38:22,386 --> 00:38:25,301
Man, I don't know. I quit wearing a watch
when I moved out here.

653
00:38:25,431 --> 00:38:27,823
- Wow, that's so cool.
- Yeah.

654
00:38:27,909 --> 00:38:31,998
No, like my cell phone has a clock on it,
so I don't really need it.

655
00:38:32,085 --> 00:38:34,825
Right, so it's basically the same thing.

656
00:38:35,434 --> 00:38:38,652
- How old are you?
- I don't really believe in age or numbers,

657
00:38:38,782 --> 00:38:41,566
you know, I don't...
I mean, if you had to put a number on it,

658
00:38:41,696 --> 00:38:44,088
I guess I'd be 44.

659
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,611
Fuck!

660
00:38:48,350 --> 00:38:50,655
Thanks for taking me out here.

661
00:38:51,786 --> 00:38:54,699
This is the first time I've felt good
in three weeks or so.

662
00:38:54,917 --> 00:38:57,527
You need to get back on that board
is what you need to do.

663
00:38:57,657 --> 00:38:59,527
- Yeah?
- Hey, here's the deal.

664
00:38:59,614 --> 00:39:00,962
When life gives you lemons,

665
00:39:01,180 --> 00:39:03,354
just say, "Fuck the lemons," and bail.

666
00:39:03,485 --> 00:39:06,180
Yeah. No. You said it, totally.

667
00:39:06,312 --> 00:39:08,268
You gotta just pull yourself up
by your wetsuit,

668
00:39:08,486 --> 00:39:09,443
get back on that board...

669
00:39:09,616 --> 00:39:11,096
Hey, look, man,
if you're attacked by a shark,

670
00:39:11,313 --> 00:39:12,748
are you gonna give up surfing?

671
00:39:12,879 --> 00:39:14,531
Probably, yeah.

672
00:39:14,618 --> 00:39:17,358
Let's go in, all right. Tacos are on me.

673
00:39:18,098 --> 00:39:20,358
Can you try to listen
to what I'm saying to you, Brian?

674
00:39:20,576 --> 00:39:23,099
I'm confused and I don't know what to do.

675
00:39:23,185 --> 00:39:24,447
<i>What's up with that hat?</i>

676
00:39:24,665 --> 00:39:27,274
<i>What are you
in the Buena Vista Social Club?</i>

677
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:28,492
This is a nice hat.

678
00:39:28,622 --> 00:39:31,318
<i>What member of the Brat Pack are you?</i>

679
00:39:31,535 --> 00:39:34,450
<i>You look like one of those guys
suspected of killing JFK.</i>

680
00:39:34,536 --> 00:39:36,842
That's very funny. That's great.

681
00:39:36,928 --> 00:39:38,929
<i>Tell him to make friends. </i>

682
00:39:39,234 --> 00:39:41,538
<i>You need to get out there
and make some friends, man. </i>

683
00:39:41,756 --> 00:39:43,191
Is Liz there right now?

684
00:39:43,409 --> 00:39:45,496
<i>No, no, she's not in here, buddy. </i>

685
00:39:45,583 --> 00:39:46,627
I just heard her.

686
00:39:46,845 --> 00:39:48,193
<i>She's gone. </i>

687
00:39:48,844 --> 00:39:50,715
Who are you looking at?

688
00:39:50,932 --> 00:39:51,976
<i>What?</i>

689
00:39:52,063 --> 00:39:53,759
Is she still... Hi, Liz.

690
00:39:53,846 --> 00:39:57,717
<i>No. I swear on my mother's grave, it...
Okay, it was Liz. </i>

691
00:39:58,021 --> 00:39:59,979
<i>She wasn't here the entire time. </i>

692
00:40:00,109 --> 00:40:02,283
<i>Go out and meet people.
We meet people all the time... </i>

693
00:40:02,413 --> 00:40:03,849
<i>- All the time on vacation.
- Constantly. </i>

694
00:40:03,936 --> 00:40:06,893
I've tried, all right,
there's a couple of dudes here,

695
00:40:07,067 --> 00:40:09,155
but they're kind of weird.

696
00:40:09,503 --> 00:40:11,372
<i>Just be friendly. </i>

697
00:40:11,460 --> 00:40:12,590
<i>Iron your shirt. </i>

698
00:40:12,721 --> 00:40:14,069
<i>Iron your shirt, look sharp. </i>

699
00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:15,852
<i>Even your T-shirts. </i>

700
00:40:16,374 --> 00:40:18,983
There is this girl at the front desk
who's pretty cute.

701
00:40:19,723 --> 00:40:22,507
<i>Oh, yeah. You know what?
Go have another dirty one night stand. </i>

702
00:40:22,637 --> 00:40:24,376
<i>That worked out so well before. </i>

703
00:40:24,507 --> 00:40:27,421
What do you want from me?
You just told me I need to meet people.

704
00:40:27,508 --> 00:40:30,030
<i>Ask her out.
Maybe that's what he needs, is a rebound. </i>

705
00:40:30,117 --> 00:40:31,987
<i>He's had plenty of chances
for rebounds. This isn't... </i>

706
00:40:32,205 --> 00:40:33,249
<i>Can we get on the same team here?</i>

707
00:40:33,466 --> 00:40:36,510
<i>Okay, I'm sorry.
We're on the same team. Sorry. </i>

708
00:40:37,728 --> 00:40:39,511
<i>You should go on a date with this girl. </i>

709
00:40:39,598 --> 00:40:40,860
Well, maybe I'll ask her out then.

710
00:40:41,076 --> 00:40:42,947
<i>- Yes.
- My wife says so. </i>

711
00:40:43,382 --> 00:40:46,209
<i>- Hey, I'm in Hawaii, too!
Oh, that's neat. </i>

712
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,383
<i>Aloha, bitches!</i>

713
00:40:49,427 --> 00:40:50,993
That's very cool.

714
00:40:54,211 --> 00:40:56,733
They're not Native Americans, Brian.

715
00:40:59,125 --> 00:41:00,256
<i>- Bri...
- What are you doing?</i>

716
00:41:00,473 --> 00:41:02,474
<i>- The luha. Is that right?
- Oh, yeah. </i>

717
00:41:02,779 --> 00:41:03,909
<i>It's called the hula. </i>

718
00:41:04,127 --> 00:41:05,780
<i>- Luau?
- No, hula. </i>

719
00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:06,954
<i>You're doing a luau?</i>

720
00:41:21,523 --> 00:41:22,566
- Hey.
- Hey.

721
00:41:22,697 --> 00:41:23,827
- Peter.
- Wow.

722
00:41:25,393 --> 00:41:28,438
You look beautiful.
I mean, that's a beautiful dress.

723
00:41:28,611 --> 00:41:29,568
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

724
00:41:29,786 --> 00:41:31,003
This'll be fun.

725
00:41:31,221 --> 00:41:32,395
<i>Lei?</i>

726
00:41:37,092 --> 00:41:39,788
May I help you with something else, Peter?

727
00:41:40,092 --> 00:41:42,093
No, I'll just grab a drink.
I'm just gonna head inside.

728
00:41:42,180 --> 00:41:44,572
- Happy 4th of July!
- Thank you.

729
00:41:46,964 --> 00:41:47,921
<i>Aloha!</i>

730
00:42:01,795 --> 00:42:03,664
- You done here?
- No, actually, I just sat down,

731
00:42:03,882 --> 00:42:05,621
I'm just getting started.
It's delicious, though, thank you.

732
00:42:05,839 --> 00:42:07,839
I'll just go fuck myself.

733
00:42:07,927 --> 00:42:09,710
<i>- Sorry, what?
- Mahalo. </i>

734
00:42:12,754 --> 00:42:13,971
Hi, Peter.

735
00:42:15,842 --> 00:42:17,407
Hey. Hey, bro.

736
00:42:19,408 --> 00:42:20,887
- Hi.
- Hey, all right.

737
00:42:21,061 --> 00:42:22,844
Excuse me. Excuse me.

738
00:42:22,931 --> 00:42:26,062
Everybody, can I have your attention
for one second, please.

739
00:42:26,192 --> 00:42:29,107
We have a very special guest
with us here, today.

740
00:42:29,193 --> 00:42:33,368
He is the lead singer
of the band, Infant Sorrow,

741
00:42:34,195 --> 00:42:37,761
one of my favourite musicians of all time.
He's so awesome.

742
00:42:38,805 --> 00:42:40,979
Please, please, let's take...

743
00:42:41,501 --> 00:42:45,676
Let's see if we can get him up here,
Mr Aldous Snow. Please, come on.

744
00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:47,764
Share your gift.

745
00:42:47,894 --> 00:42:49,112
Duty calls and all that.

746
00:42:49,243 --> 00:42:52,983
I'm trying to be incognito, it's weird.
It's like work to me, this is no fun.

747
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,766
Hey! Thank you!

748
00:43:03,507 --> 00:43:05,899
Thank you.
What a lovely introduction.

749
00:43:06,117 --> 00:43:08,509
What an eccentric and confident young man.

750
00:43:08,639 --> 00:43:12,075
I'd like to dedicate this song
to a very beautiful woman that's here today.

751
00:43:12,292 --> 00:43:14,988
It's Miss Sarah Marshall, there she is.

752
00:43:15,902 --> 00:43:17,076
Look at her, blimey!

753
00:43:25,514 --> 00:43:27,905
<i> Old as ancient skies</i>

754
00:43:28,209 --> 00:43:30,819
<i>I've had these wandering eyes</i>

755
00:43:31,645 --> 00:43:33,950
<i>but you took me by surprise</i>

756
00:43:34,081 --> 00:43:36,473
<i>when you let me inside you</i>

757
00:43:38,430 --> 00:43:40,126
<i>Inside you</i>

758
00:43:40,822 --> 00:43:42,909
<i>Inside you</i>

759
00:43:43,258 --> 00:43:44,692
This went from 6:00 to midnight.

760
00:43:44,823 --> 00:43:48,954
<i>Teach me how to grow
while I'm moving inside of you</i>

761
00:43:50,955 --> 00:43:52,738
<i>Inside of you</i>

762
00:43:53,651 --> 00:43:55,956
<i>- Inside you
- Inside you</i>

763
00:43:57,218 --> 00:44:00,044
<i>I long to be, is it wrong to be</i>

764
00:44:00,131 --> 00:44:02,436
<i>inside of you</i>

765
00:44:03,350 --> 00:44:07,525
<i>Inside of you the restless find their dreams</i>

766
00:44:09,612 --> 00:44:13,483
<i>Inside of you this king has found his queen</i>

767
00:44:20,137 --> 00:44:21,180
Hey.

768
00:44:21,311 --> 00:44:22,442
You're from the breakfast buffet, right?

769
00:44:22,659 --> 00:44:23,572
- Yeah.
- Whipped cream or berries?

770
00:44:23,703 --> 00:44:24,746
Yeah. Yeah, I'm Peter.

771
00:44:26,834 --> 00:44:27,661
- Kemo.
- Kemo.

772
00:44:27,747 --> 00:44:29,965
- Good to meet you, man.
- Good to meet, you, man.

773
00:44:30,183 --> 00:44:32,445
- Have a beer.
- Thanks. Thank you.

774
00:44:34,967 --> 00:44:36,402
Sarah Marshall.

775
00:44:36,532 --> 00:44:37,576
Yes.

776
00:44:39,229 --> 00:44:41,230
How do you know
I was dating Sarah Marshall?

777
00:44:41,316 --> 00:44:43,839
Dwayne told me. Chuck told me.

778
00:44:44,666 --> 00:44:45,796
Even Rachel told me.

779
00:44:46,014 --> 00:44:49,971
I heard about it from everybody.
You gotta stop talking about it.

780
00:44:50,406 --> 00:44:52,493
<i>It's like The Sopranos. </i>

781
00:44:52,667 --> 00:44:53,929
It's over.

782
00:44:54,581 --> 00:44:56,233
Find a new show.

783
00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:59,365
You need a hug.

784
00:44:59,669 --> 00:45:01,148
Come here.

785
00:45:02,888 --> 00:45:04,367
Oh, thank you.

786
00:45:04,453 --> 00:45:06,236
You're awfully nice.

787
00:45:07,498 --> 00:45:10,194
<i>I gotta go.
I'm prepping the pig for tomorrow's luau. </i>

788
00:45:10,325 --> 00:45:13,021
You should come and help me.
It'll take your mind off of things.

789
00:45:13,238 --> 00:45:15,109
- Yeah? You don't mind?
- No.

790
00:45:15,630 --> 00:45:18,327
I mean, I must say I'm a pretty good cook.

791
00:45:18,761 --> 00:45:20,023
All right!

792
00:45:23,241 --> 00:45:25,938
I can't! Please don't make me do this!

793
00:45:26,155 --> 00:45:27,199
Do it!

794
00:45:27,286 --> 00:45:29,808
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

795
00:45:34,592 --> 00:45:36,157
You can stop crying now.

796
00:45:36,375 --> 00:45:37,941
He's dead already.

797
00:45:38,463 --> 00:45:39,941
I'm not crying.

798
00:45:40,029 --> 00:45:41,289
You should stop crying.

799
00:45:41,507 --> 00:45:43,029
I don't cry. I'm not a baby.

800
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,073
Really?
'Cause you look like a gigantic baby.

801
00:45:46,378 --> 00:45:48,987
I'm sorry. I didn't mean that at all.

802
00:45:58,685 --> 00:45:59,947
Hey.

803
00:46:00,164 --> 00:46:04,643
Listen, would you like to hang out tonight,
like, not in an official hotel function?

804
00:46:04,731 --> 00:46:05,992
Yeah. Totally.

805
00:46:06,209 --> 00:46:08,688
A bunch of us are going to go to this,
like, little beach thing afterwards.

806
00:46:08,818 --> 00:46:11,080
You're totally welcome to come.

807
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,298
Maybe we could go together?

808
00:46:13,516 --> 00:46:14,951
Yeah, whatever.

809
00:46:15,385 --> 00:46:16,603
I mean we don't have to,
if you don't want to,

810
00:46:16,821 --> 00:46:17,777
I just thought that maybe...

811
00:46:17,865 --> 00:46:19,344
No, listen,
you don't have to make this weird.

812
00:46:19,430 --> 00:46:21,213
You either want to go or you don't.

813
00:46:22,779 --> 00:46:24,432
- I would love to.
- Okay.

814
00:46:25,084 --> 00:46:27,694
Awesome. Why don't you go upstairs,
change that shirt,

815
00:46:27,868 --> 00:46:30,607
and I'll meet you out front in, like, five?

816
00:46:40,697 --> 00:46:43,829
- This is so cool.
- You like it?

817
00:46:56,789 --> 00:46:59,050
So what brought you to Hawaii?

818
00:47:00,399 --> 00:47:02,703
- A dude.
- Of course.

819
00:47:02,833 --> 00:47:06,052
A surfer dude. You know, WCT, top 44.

820
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:10,532
Totally.

821
00:47:12,315 --> 00:47:14,707
We were together for two years.

822
00:47:15,011 --> 00:47:17,708
Dropped out of school,
moved out here with him.

823
00:47:17,838 --> 00:47:19,926
Three weeks later,
I caught him cheating on me,

824
00:47:20,143 --> 00:47:22,404
so I moved out, and that's that.

825
00:47:23,448 --> 00:47:25,014
What an asshole.

826
00:47:25,970 --> 00:47:27,537
No, he's just a boy.

827
00:47:30,015 --> 00:47:33,886
You ever think about going back home,
finishing school, or...

828
00:47:35,234 --> 00:47:36,191
No.

829
00:47:37,017 --> 00:47:39,018
No. I work at the hotel,

830
00:47:40,062 --> 00:47:42,758
doesn't really have to be a future in there.

831
00:47:44,106 --> 00:47:45,585
Okay, my turn.

832
00:47:45,976 --> 00:47:47,150
Okay.

833
00:47:47,977 --> 00:47:52,152
So, how do you like
writing music for a TV show?

834
00:47:55,152 --> 00:47:57,457
It's great, you know. People are great.

835
00:47:57,544 --> 00:48:00,589
It's great to have a steady paycheque.
It's... I'm very lucky.

836
00:48:00,675 --> 00:48:01,719
Oh, my God, you hate it.

837
00:48:01,937 --> 00:48:04,111
I fucking hate it so much.

838
00:48:04,459 --> 00:48:06,721
So then, do something about it.

839
00:48:10,504 --> 00:48:11,417
Excuse me.

840
00:48:11,635 --> 00:48:14,767
I'm just saying, if you hate something,
change it.

841
00:48:14,853 --> 00:48:16,550
- Don't dwell.
- Well, I'm trying.

842
00:48:18,637 --> 00:48:21,246
I'm actually working on a rock opera.

843
00:48:22,290 --> 00:48:23,726
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

844
00:48:25,074 --> 00:48:27,292
What's your rock opera about?

845
00:48:29,770 --> 00:48:31,032
Dracula.

846
00:48:32,511 --> 00:48:35,294
Yeah, and eternal love, you know.
That's the theme.

847
00:48:35,424 --> 00:48:38,860
But I think the two sort of go hand in hand,
you know?

848
00:48:39,382 --> 00:48:40,643
And I...

849
00:48:42,730 --> 00:48:45,731
I have this vision of doing it with puppets.

850
00:48:48,558 --> 00:48:50,341
I mean, humans also, you know.

851
00:48:52,821 --> 00:48:54,169
Why Dracula?

852
00:48:54,299 --> 00:48:58,040
Because he's a man like anyone else.
He just wants to be loved.

853
00:48:58,256 --> 00:48:59,909
And every time he gets close
to a human woman,

854
00:49:00,127 --> 00:49:01,692
he ends up smothering and killing her,

855
00:49:01,780 --> 00:49:04,389
which is a feeling I am familiar with.

856
00:49:04,519 --> 00:49:06,390
What? That's just a joke.

857
00:49:06,607 --> 00:49:08,347
- Oh, shit.
- What?

858
00:49:09,216 --> 00:49:12,217
My ex. If I run, you run.

859
00:49:13,783 --> 00:49:15,566
- Do you understand?
- No, I don't understand at all.

860
00:49:15,784 --> 00:49:17,523
Fucking motherfucker! Dipshit!

861
00:49:17,653 --> 00:49:18,567
Rachel, what are you doing?

862
00:49:18,784 --> 00:49:20,437
I thought I told you
to stay back on your island.

863
00:49:20,568 --> 00:49:21,611
Take it easy, just take it easy.

864
00:49:21,698 --> 00:49:22,872
Yeah, you know what?
The deal was over April 9.

865
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,134
Well, the deal's back on, motherfucker.

866
00:49:25,264 --> 00:49:27,135
You ain't the chief in this village.
I'm the chief.

867
00:49:27,351 --> 00:49:28,395
Of the idiots?

868
00:49:28,483 --> 00:49:31,179
Rachel, let me handle this. I know his friend.
Let me handle this, okay?

869
00:49:31,310 --> 00:49:32,744
Go ahead.

870
00:49:33,614 --> 00:49:35,571
Hey, man, you remember me from breakfast?

871
00:49:35,789 --> 00:49:38,398
- Oh, yeah, the cocktail guy, that's right.
- Yeah.

872
00:49:38,486 --> 00:49:41,617
This ain't the breakfast buffet.
What, you with my girl?

873
00:49:41,747 --> 00:49:43,835
Keeping her warm for me at night, huh?

874
00:49:44,009 --> 00:49:46,009
Hey, what are you doing here?

875
00:49:50,054 --> 00:49:51,532
That's right. Just hit him!

876
00:49:51,619 --> 00:49:52,880
Rachel, we gotta get out of here. Rachel?

877
00:49:53,011 --> 00:49:55,055
You get what you deserve.

878
00:50:07,058 --> 00:50:10,624
Just a boy?
No, that dude was a fucking man.

879
00:50:10,842 --> 00:50:14,669
No, no, no. He's an asshole.
I can't believe I ever dated him.

880
00:50:15,625 --> 00:50:17,409
- You went nuts.
- Yeah.

881
00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:20,409
You guys are dysfunctional.

882
00:50:21,018 --> 00:50:23,454
<i>You were like one of those girls
from Flavour of Love. </i>

883
00:50:23,541 --> 00:50:24,889
- From what?
- You were.

884
00:50:25,020 --> 00:50:26,890
"I'll kill you. I'll kill you. "

885
00:50:28,238 --> 00:50:30,108
Okay, I'm gonna go get us another round.

886
00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:32,195
I'll grab it. It's no big deal.

887
00:50:32,283 --> 00:50:35,935
You don't have to dote on me.
I'm not that type of girl.

888
00:50:48,765 --> 00:50:50,331
You look so hot.

889
00:50:50,462 --> 00:50:52,723
<i>Give me Crime Scene.
Give me dirty Crime Scene girl. </i>

890
00:50:52,940 --> 00:50:55,028
Andr� the Giant, out of the shot, please.

891
00:50:55,115 --> 00:50:57,115
Mutombo, out of the shot, come on.

892
00:51:25,601 --> 00:51:28,907
Did you know that there's a picture
of you flashing,

893
00:51:29,037 --> 00:51:30,473
hanging in the men's room?

894
00:51:30,690 --> 00:51:33,604
Yeah. I hate it so much.

895
00:51:33,735 --> 00:51:36,343
My jackass boyfriend made me do it.

896
00:51:36,952 --> 00:51:38,823
Keoki took it, right there.

897
00:51:38,910 --> 00:51:40,997
And I asked him to take it down,

898
00:51:41,127 --> 00:51:44,563
but he said that it would ruin
the balance of the collage.

899
00:51:45,607 --> 00:51:47,173
Do you want me to try
to get it down for you?

900
00:51:47,390 --> 00:51:51,044
No. No, no, no, he'll kill you.
Like, really kill you.

901
00:51:53,001 --> 00:51:55,305
But I have a surprise for you.

902
00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:57,088
Really, what?

903
00:51:57,176 --> 00:51:58,437
We're gonna take a quick break.

904
00:51:58,655 --> 00:52:00,612
Tonight we have a special guest
from the mainland,

905
00:52:00,742 --> 00:52:03,525
singing a song from his Dracula musical,

906
00:52:03,873 --> 00:52:06,874
please welcome to the stage,
Mr Peter Bretter.

907
00:52:08,744 --> 00:52:09,918
Peter!

908
00:52:10,006 --> 00:52:11,657
Yeah! Go get them, tiger!

909
00:52:11,789 --> 00:52:12,701
Please don't.

910
00:52:14,049 --> 00:52:15,311
Peter!

911
00:52:15,615 --> 00:52:18,051
- Rachel...
- Dracula! Peter!

912
00:52:23,443 --> 00:52:24,705
Get them!

913
00:52:24,922 --> 00:52:25,835
What's up?

914
00:52:32,533 --> 00:52:33,881
Thank you.

915
00:52:36,708 --> 00:52:38,143
You know, I could play something else.

916
00:52:38,274 --> 00:52:39,709
I just think out of context this might be...

917
00:52:39,926 --> 00:52:41,492
Dracula musical!

918
00:52:43,493 --> 00:52:44,841
Thank you.

919
00:53:05,063 --> 00:53:09,543
<i> It's getting kind of hard to believe
things are going to get better</i>

920
00:53:11,848 --> 00:53:17,589
<i>I've been drowning too long to believe
that the tide's going to turn</i>

921
00:53:19,329 --> 00:53:24,460
<i>And I've been living too hard to believe
things are going to get easier now</i>

922
00:53:26,635 --> 00:53:31,245
<i>I'm still trying to shake off the pain
from the lessons I've learned</i>

923
00:53:33,854 --> 00:53:38,638
<i>And if I see Van Helsing, I swear to the lord
I will slay him</i>

924
00:53:41,030 --> 00:53:45,205
<i>Take it from me, but I swear
I won't let it be so</i>

925
00:53:47,727 --> 00:53:52,599
<i>Blood will run down his face
when he is decapitated</i>

926
00:53:54,078 --> 00:53:57,904
<i>His head on my mantle
is how I will let this one know</i>

927
00:53:59,383 --> 00:54:01,166
<i>How much I love you</i>

928
00:54:08,864 --> 00:54:10,038
<i>Die</i>

929
00:54:10,952 --> 00:54:11,996
<i>Die</i>

930
00:54:13,170 --> 00:54:14,214
<i>Die</i>

931
00:54:18,780 --> 00:54:19,910
<i>I can't</i>

932
00:54:31,523 --> 00:54:32,871
Awesome!

933
00:54:33,392 --> 00:54:34,827
Thank you.

934
00:54:38,785 --> 00:54:39,741
Thank you.

935
00:54:40,177 --> 00:54:43,177
So, I had a really, really great time tonight.

936
00:54:43,265 --> 00:54:45,352
- Yeah?
- Yeah. I mean, it got a little wild.

937
00:54:45,569 --> 00:54:47,440
- "A little"? You can say that.
- Yeah.

938
00:54:47,570 --> 00:54:50,267
But it was really fun,
and you're so cool, and it was...

939
00:54:50,353 --> 00:54:52,050
Thank you for taking me out.

940
00:54:52,136 --> 00:54:53,833
No, I had a great time. Thank you.

941
00:54:55,572 --> 00:54:57,138
- You did?
- Yeah.

942
00:55:01,313 --> 00:55:03,401
I'm sorry.

943
00:55:03,531 --> 00:55:07,662
I'm sorry, I just... I don't...
I just don't wanna complicate things.

944
00:55:07,793 --> 00:55:09,141
- No, of course!
- Yeah?

945
00:55:09,229 --> 00:55:12,360
No, no, no. Totally. I totally get that.

946
00:55:12,577 --> 00:55:14,664
- I had a great time.
- A handshake?

947
00:55:14,795 --> 00:55:18,013
- Well, I don't know. Okay.
- All right, all right.

948
00:55:18,100 --> 00:55:20,710
- All right. Get home safe.
- You, too.

949
00:55:23,841 --> 00:55:25,841
- Thanks again.
- Bye.

950
00:55:33,105 --> 00:55:36,671
<i>
I'm on a hammock with me lady</i>

951
00:55:36,888 --> 00:55:40,237
<i>Watching the sea roll by</i>

952
00:55:42,499 --> 00:55:45,108
<i>Things have been great now</i>

953
00:55:45,238 --> 00:55:48,457
<i>'Cause we're in Hawaii</i>

954
00:55:50,326 --> 00:55:51,805
Hey, guys.

955
00:55:52,936 --> 00:55:55,110
Hey, man. I'm Koonu.

956
00:55:55,980 --> 00:55:59,199
Yeah. No, I remember. I'm Peter.
We took a surf lesson together.

957
00:55:59,285 --> 00:56:02,721
Yeah, you're that guy
that works with Kaiser Permanente.

958
00:56:02,852 --> 00:56:06,375
No, I'm Peter.
We had a nice talk out on the water.

959
00:56:06,505 --> 00:56:07,940
That's cool.

960
00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:12,115
Okay, can I just say something?

961
00:56:12,245 --> 00:56:15,681
- I went on a date tonight with Rachel, right?
- That wasn't a date.

962
00:56:15,769 --> 00:56:17,769
She's in customer service, dude.

963
00:56:17,856 --> 00:56:19,856
She took you out for charity.

964
00:56:20,030 --> 00:56:24,205
It was a date, okay? Trust me.
I know a date, and that was a date.

965
00:56:24,423 --> 00:56:25,554
I bet you think strippers like you, too.

966
00:56:25,684 --> 00:56:26,728
- That's really not necessary.
- It's true.

967
00:56:28,685 --> 00:56:31,730
Don't waste your time, man.
Believe me, it is a nowhere road. I know.

968
00:56:31,816 --> 00:56:34,730
Did you see her ex-boyfriend?
He is ridiculous.

969
00:56:34,861 --> 00:56:37,035
Who, Greg? I love Greg, man.

970
00:56:37,252 --> 00:56:39,862
I saw him beat up a guy with a starfish.

971
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:43,080
- Okay, that's just ridiculous.
- That guy was me.

972
00:56:43,211 --> 00:56:45,994
Dude, my homie over here,
on his honeymoon?

973
00:56:46,211 --> 00:56:48,734
Getting as much sex
as he possibly can ever have.

974
00:56:48,821 --> 00:56:50,604
Are you giving to her
hard and rough, dude?

975
00:56:50,691 --> 00:56:52,169
Come on.

976
00:56:53,517 --> 00:56:59,345
The wife wants me to do certain things
that I find inappropriate.

977
00:56:59,563 --> 00:57:02,390
Let me just say
that if God was a city planner,

978
00:57:02,476 --> 00:57:06,260
he would not put a playground
next to a sewage system.

979
00:57:08,522 --> 00:57:12,610
We're trying to fuck,
but we're not having fun fucking.

980
00:57:12,697 --> 00:57:16,654
We're just, like...
I'm stabbing her private parts,

981
00:57:19,264 --> 00:57:22,700
and it's not fun, and it causes anxiety.
Fucking is...

982
00:57:22,917 --> 00:57:24,483
And then when you're not fucking...

983
00:57:24,613 --> 00:57:27,310
- Hey, someone's gotta stop him.
- You're the butt of a joke.

984
00:57:27,396 --> 00:57:29,788
Fucking this ring is...

985
00:57:30,006 --> 00:57:31,571
Fuck!

986
00:57:31,702 --> 00:57:33,789
It's gonna be all right.

987
00:57:35,530 --> 00:57:36,790
Hi.

988
00:57:38,356 --> 00:57:40,748
Hi, do you wanna come back to bed?

989
00:57:40,879 --> 00:57:42,009
Sure.

990
00:57:45,010 --> 00:57:46,272
Have fun.

991
00:57:47,837 --> 00:57:52,012
I like her hair.
I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.

992
00:58:00,058 --> 00:58:01,798
Julian, what's up?

993
00:58:04,233 --> 00:58:05,146
Oh.

994
00:58:06,190 --> 00:58:07,452
God.

995
00:58:17,671 --> 00:58:19,454
The show's been cancelled.

996
00:58:19,628 --> 00:58:21,411
That's good, 'cause that's what you wanted.

997
00:58:21,542 --> 00:58:24,021
Yeah. Yeah, it is.

998
00:58:25,370 --> 00:58:30,501
It's just... I guess
I thought we had another year left.

999
00:58:30,588 --> 00:58:32,676
It seems like we did, and... This'll be good,

1000
00:58:32,893 --> 00:58:36,024
'cause it's been a long-awaited transition
into film for me.

1001
00:58:36,111 --> 00:58:39,373
Don't get me wrong, but it's just...
It's a surprise.

1002
00:58:39,460 --> 00:58:41,113
Come on tour with me.

1003
00:58:41,243 --> 00:58:46,027
I'll serenade you every night
in front of thousands of women.

1004
00:58:46,114 --> 00:58:47,810
I didn't know you were going on tour.

1005
00:58:48,028 --> 00:58:49,158
Yeah, I'm going in two weeks.

1006
00:58:49,245 --> 00:58:53,333
It's like an 18-month tour,
43 countries, Infant Sorrow,

1007
00:58:53,420 --> 00:58:55,507
and it's gonna be a massive tour.

1008
00:58:55,639 --> 00:59:00,726
Yeah. I can't come 'cause I have a job.
I'm a working actress.

1009
00:59:00,858 --> 00:59:02,597
Not any more.

1010
00:59:02,727 --> 00:59:03,945
You're an unemployed actress, perfect.

1011
00:59:05,641 --> 00:59:09,816
You could be the queen of the groupies,
queen of the Sorrow Suckers.

1012
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:12,426
The Sorrow Suckers.

1013
00:59:12,512 --> 00:59:15,948
Sorrow Suckers.
I don't know why they call them that.

1014
00:59:16,166 --> 00:59:19,297
Mr and Mrs Snow, sorry.
Sorry to bother you.

1015
00:59:20,950 --> 00:59:22,733
The hotel wanted to offer you
some complimentary coconut cake.

1016
00:59:22,819 --> 00:59:26,908
It's from the hotel.
It's definitely not from me personally, so...

1017
00:59:28,169 --> 00:59:30,256
- Yeah, thanks.
- Okay, great.

1018
00:59:30,344 --> 00:59:33,692
When were you planning on telling me this?

1019
00:59:33,779 --> 00:59:37,346
- I just told you, then.
- Yeah. No, I know.

1020
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:42,216
But telling me now
isn't really the same as telling me.

1021
00:59:42,434 --> 00:59:45,043
Well, look, you know,
I've not told you I've got genital herpes,

1022
00:59:45,261 --> 00:59:47,565
because it's not inflamed at the moment.

1023
00:59:47,653 --> 00:59:49,653
Do you guys want some champagne
with your cake,

1024
00:59:49,740 --> 00:59:51,089
or do you want it without your cake?

1025
00:59:51,219 --> 00:59:52,784
I don't drink.

1026
01:00:00,265 --> 01:00:04,440
All right, so I came here
to give you my demo. I just...

1027
01:00:04,744 --> 01:00:07,050
I worship you,
and I just wanted to give you my demo.

1028
01:00:08,180 --> 01:00:10,267
Just take a listen and...

1029
01:00:11,311 --> 01:00:12,659
Okay.

1030
01:00:13,399 --> 01:00:16,139
'Cause you know what?
You don't wanna be the guy sitting there,

1031
01:00:16,139 --> 01:00:18,835
watching BBC, and saying,

1032
01:00:18,835 --> 01:00:22,576
"Oh, I saw that guy! He was my waiter,

1033
01:00:22,576 --> 01:00:26,663
"and I totally dismissed him
like everyone else does in his life.

1034
01:00:26,663 --> 01:00:28,534
"And I totally was wrong,

1035
01:00:28,534 --> 01:00:32,186
"because he's a major, major,
major influence on me now,

1036
01:00:32,186 --> 01:00:33,753
"and I feel terrible!"

1037
01:00:37,405 --> 01:00:40,188
That stupid English voice, was that me?

1038
01:00:41,754 --> 01:00:43,451
Unfortunately, yes.

1039
01:00:44,799 --> 01:00:47,713
You're really gonna like it.

1040
01:00:47,713 --> 01:00:50,539
I'll listen to it when you've gone.

1041
01:00:56,585 --> 01:00:59,498
Hey, look, just don't tell anyone at the hotel.

1042
01:01:08,674 --> 01:01:10,850
- What's up, dude?
- What's up?

1043
01:01:10,850 --> 01:01:15,677
Peter, I got some really interesting news
this morning.

1044
01:01:15,677 --> 01:01:17,633
Aldous gave you gonorrhoea?

1045
01:01:17,633 --> 01:01:20,765
No. Why would I tell you that?

1046
01:01:20,765 --> 01:01:23,375
<i>Crime Scene was cancelled. </i>

1047
01:01:23,375 --> 01:01:24,418
Whoa.

1048
01:01:25,462 --> 01:01:26,506
Wow.

1049
01:01:29,507 --> 01:01:32,246
- You all right?
- Yeah. Yeah.

1050
01:01:33,682 --> 01:01:36,204
I mean, I've been waiting
to take the next step,

1051
01:01:36,204 --> 01:01:39,118
you know, into features for a long time,
so it's a really good thing.

1052
01:01:39,118 --> 01:01:43,902
<i>This isn't The View. I mean, we can have
an honest talk about this if we want. </i>

1053
01:01:45,685 --> 01:01:48,730
I don't wanna step out of the spotlight
and then be forgotten.

1054
01:01:48,730 --> 01:01:51,426
I don't wanna disappear. I'm freaked out.

1055
01:01:51,426 --> 01:01:54,035
I wanna be honest.
I'm really freaked out right now, okay?

1056
01:01:54,035 --> 01:01:58,080
Because, seemingly, the only actresses
that actually can survive

1057
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:01,211
are the ones that show their cooter,
and, excuse me, but I refuse to do that.

1058
01:02:01,211 --> 01:02:02,603
I have a little dignity.

1059
01:02:02,603 --> 01:02:05,690
And I don't have the frame
to support plastic surgery. I would tip over.

1060
01:02:05,690 --> 01:02:08,126
And I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna exploit myself.

1061
01:02:08,126 --> 01:02:12,301
Listen, you're gonna be fine.
You have a long career ahead of you.

1062
01:02:12,606 --> 01:02:16,258
You've got, like, four years until you're 30.

1063
01:02:16,258 --> 01:02:17,999
It's gonna be fine.

1064
01:02:21,956 --> 01:02:24,566
- How are you?
- I'm screwed.

1065
01:02:24,566 --> 01:02:30,089
Frankly, I don't stand a chance.
No, I'll be fine.

1066
01:02:30,089 --> 01:02:33,655
I've been quietly stealing money
from you for a long time.

1067
01:02:35,003 --> 01:02:38,570
You're always good at cheering me up,
Pete, thank you.

1068
01:02:41,875 --> 01:02:43,570
<i> Die</i>

1069
01:02:44,093 --> 01:02:45,528
<i>Die</i>

1070
01:02:46,267 --> 01:02:47,615
<i>Die</i>

1071
01:02:50,442 --> 01:02:52,095
<i>I can't</i>

1072
01:02:55,879 --> 01:02:59,183
It's really good, Peter.
I just don't understand it. I don't.

1073
01:02:59,183 --> 01:03:02,532
I mean, just chalk it up to that.
Please don't play it again, 'cause I don't...

1074
01:03:02,532 --> 01:03:04,706
Just listen to it one more time and see...

1075
01:03:06,794 --> 01:03:07,838
Where's Aldous?

1076
01:03:09,925 --> 01:03:12,448
- Mr Snow, may I ask you a question?
- Okay.

1077
01:03:12,448 --> 01:03:15,579
I want to please my wife here,
on our honeymoon,

1078
01:03:15,579 --> 01:03:16,841
but I don't know what I'm doing.

1079
01:03:16,841 --> 01:03:18,493
You having difficulty sex-wise?

1080
01:03:18,493 --> 01:03:20,799
- Do you not know how to use this?
- I know how.

1081
01:03:20,799 --> 01:03:23,582
- Have you had sex before?
- We can't.

1082
01:03:23,582 --> 01:03:25,147
- Why?
- Our religion.

1083
01:03:25,147 --> 01:03:26,713
Right, 'cause of God and everything?

1084
01:03:26,713 --> 01:03:27,974
Hey, that's not gonna be a problem,

1085
01:03:27,974 --> 01:03:30,279
because God should be present
in the bedroom.

1086
01:03:30,279 --> 01:03:32,888
Just tell me specifically what I need to do.

1087
01:03:32,888 --> 01:03:35,802
You need to penetrate deeply
and stimulate the clitoris simultaneously.

1088
01:03:35,802 --> 01:03:37,672
That's what you gotta do.
That's what it's about.

1089
01:03:37,672 --> 01:03:40,194
If you can involve the anus in that,
then that's absolute perfection.

1090
01:03:40,194 --> 01:03:41,238
Got it.

1091
01:03:41,238 --> 01:03:43,630
Explore her ears.

1092
01:03:43,630 --> 01:03:47,066
Find it in you to be a little more circly.

1093
01:03:47,066 --> 01:03:48,197
You are a man.

1094
01:03:48,197 --> 01:03:49,545
God's within you.

1095
01:03:49,545 --> 01:03:51,024
I actually feel okay about it.

1096
01:03:51,024 --> 01:03:53,937
You know, I'm a little scared,
but I'll be all right. I'll get another job.

1097
01:03:53,937 --> 01:03:56,634
<i>That's interesting, man.
You know what else is interesting?</i>

1098
01:03:56,634 --> 01:03:59,591
<i>- What?
- Me on the moon. </i>

1099
01:03:59,591 --> 01:04:01,853
I just wanna talk to you about something.
Can you stop?

1100
01:04:01,853 --> 01:04:04,071
<i>- All right, I'm just gonna talk, and then...
- Air!</i>

1101
01:04:04,071 --> 01:04:06,550
There was this interesting moment
with Sarah.

1102
01:04:06,550 --> 01:04:09,986
<i>Whoa, what? I don't wanna hear about
your interesting moment with Sarah, Pete. </i>

1103
01:04:09,986 --> 01:04:11,769
Then who am I supposed to talk to
about this?

1104
01:04:11,769 --> 01:04:15,509
<i>Well, not me, because have I ever had
an interesting moment with an ex-girlfriend?</i>

1105
01:04:15,509 --> 01:04:18,118
<i>- Do you have an ex-girlfriend? No!
- No. </i>

1106
01:04:18,118 --> 01:04:19,380
<i>LIZ: No. </i>

1107
01:04:20,424 --> 01:04:23,772
I would really love to get
the woman's perspective on the matter.

1108
01:04:23,772 --> 01:04:25,338
<i>- Really?
- No. </i>

1109
01:04:25,338 --> 01:04:27,121
But come on in and just sit down.

1110
01:04:27,121 --> 01:04:29,817
<i>- Stay. You have to...
- Honey, no, no, the camera's right there. </i>

1111
01:04:29,817 --> 01:04:31,078
<i>No, I know,
but I just wanna tell him, though. </i>

1112
01:04:31,078 --> 01:04:33,862
<i>- No, the camera...
- Think about how much she's hurt you. </i>

1113
01:04:33,862 --> 01:04:35,036
<i>- Hey, Liz?
- Yeah?</i>

1114
01:04:35,036 --> 01:04:37,428
I think you need to move just a tiny bit
further away from the microphone.

1115
01:04:37,428 --> 01:04:38,559
<i>- Just...
- No, closer. </i>

1116
01:04:38,559 --> 01:04:39,733
<i>- Now a little further.
- Okay. </i>

1117
01:04:39,733 --> 01:04:40,864
<i>- Closer.
- And then... </i>

1118
01:04:40,864 --> 01:04:42,125
<i>- And then a little further, and then closer.
- I don't know. </i>

1119
01:04:43,777 --> 01:04:45,039
<i>- Keep your head down, though.
- I'm bad at this thing. </i>

1120
01:04:45,039 --> 01:04:46,692
<i>- Can you hear me?
- Yeah, closer. Further away. </i>

1121
01:04:46,692 --> 01:04:49,605
<i>I know what you're doing.
That's not funny at all. </i>

1122
01:04:49,605 --> 01:04:50,649
<i>- You stop that.
- What?</i>

1123
01:04:52,432 --> 01:04:54,215
<i>- What's he doing?
- Come on. Yeah, yeah, real funny. </i>

1124
01:04:55,868 --> 01:04:57,042
Hey, that's a great necklace, Liz.

1125
01:04:57,042 --> 01:04:59,129
<i>- Did you have that a second ago?
- Thank you!</i>

1126
01:04:59,129 --> 01:05:01,087
<i>That's gross!</i>

1127
01:05:01,087 --> 01:05:02,565
<i>- LIZ: I don't get it.
- Stop it. </i>

1128
01:05:02,565 --> 01:05:06,305
<i>- He's saying if I were to sperm on you...
- What?</i>

1129
01:05:06,305 --> 01:05:09,437
<i>... it would be a pearl necklace.
- Why?</i>

1130
01:05:09,437 --> 01:05:11,306
<i>- Real funny.
- Sorry. </i>

1131
01:05:13,177 --> 01:05:14,873
Hey, Dracula!

1132
01:05:14,873 --> 01:05:18,091
"And when I see Van Helsing,
I swear to the Lord, I'll slay him. "

1133
01:05:21,223 --> 01:05:23,701
That shit is funny, dude!

1134
01:05:23,701 --> 01:05:25,267
Hey, Pete.

1135
01:05:25,267 --> 01:05:27,876
So I was gonna go over
to Lazy Joe's later tonight,

1136
01:05:27,876 --> 01:05:29,138
and I wanted to see
if you wanted to come and join.

1137
01:05:31,747 --> 01:05:34,443
I think I'm confused,
because I thought last night...

1138
01:05:34,443 --> 01:05:38,445
Oh, my God. Dude, get out of your head.
It's really nice out here.

1139
01:05:38,445 --> 01:05:41,141
Yeah, I bet it is.

1140
01:05:41,141 --> 01:05:42,402
All right, yeah. You know what?

1141
01:05:42,402 --> 01:05:43,837
I could totally use a friendly hangout, so...

1142
01:05:43,837 --> 01:05:45,011
All right.

1143
01:05:45,011 --> 01:05:46,577
I don't know if you want,
instead of Lazy Joe's,

1144
01:05:46,577 --> 01:05:48,535
I was thinking of going
to Laie Point right now.

1145
01:05:48,535 --> 01:05:49,883
- Really?
- Yeah.

1146
01:05:49,883 --> 01:05:52,275
I heard that place was a pain in the ass.

1147
01:05:53,449 --> 01:05:54,579
Okay.

1148
01:05:55,841 --> 01:05:57,189
- Hey!
Yo, what's up, guys?

1149
01:05:57,189 --> 01:05:58,319
We're just going for a hike.

1150
01:05:58,319 --> 01:06:01,146
No, you're not, you're going snorkelling.

1151
01:06:01,146 --> 01:06:02,625
I think we're gonna go on a hike.

1152
01:06:02,625 --> 01:06:05,844
It is sea turtle fucking season, dude.
Let's go.

1153
01:06:05,844 --> 01:06:09,280
They fuck for three hours, dude.
I mean, that's magical.

1154
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:11,149
- No, we're going on a hike.
- I think we'll go on a hike, yeah.

1155
01:06:11,149 --> 01:06:12,932
What? Your loss.

1156
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:16,151
Why won't anybody
go snorkelling with me?

1157
01:06:22,326 --> 01:06:24,501
How you doing back there?

1158
01:06:25,545 --> 01:06:27,024
Awesome.

1159
01:06:27,024 --> 01:06:30,372
I don't think I've ever been
this covered in sweat before.

1160
01:06:30,372 --> 01:06:32,547
It's like I have some sort of fever.

1161
01:06:32,547 --> 01:06:36,722
I told you this was a pain in the ass.
Could've been at Lazy Joe's.

1162
01:06:36,808 --> 01:06:38,505
- Oh, yeah.
- Uh-huh.

1163
01:06:38,505 --> 01:06:40,375
Oh, shit.

1164
01:06:40,375 --> 01:06:42,027
- You good?
- No.

1165
01:06:45,159 --> 01:06:47,855
Wow, we're really going
up to the edge of this, huh?

1166
01:06:47,855 --> 01:06:49,117
Look!

1167
01:06:53,292 --> 01:06:55,292
Wow, this is really beautiful.

1168
01:06:58,815 --> 01:07:03,511
All right, so now that your show's done,
are you gonna finish the Dracula musical?

1169
01:07:03,511 --> 01:07:05,599
It's not that easy, you know.

1170
01:07:06,730 --> 01:07:09,470
Sarah always thought it was crazy, and...

1171
01:07:09,470 --> 01:07:14,340
Well, you're definitely crazy.
But so is everyone, right? So who cares?

1172
01:07:14,340 --> 01:07:17,776
- I just don't feel like doing anything.
- Why?

1173
01:07:17,776 --> 01:07:19,168
'Cause my heart is broken,

1174
01:07:19,168 --> 01:07:21,951
and I can't imagine
doing anything right now.

1175
01:07:21,951 --> 01:07:25,909
It's probably the same reason
you don't go back to school, you know?

1176
01:07:29,475 --> 01:07:32,302
Maybe it's good we got hurt like that,
you know?

1177
01:07:32,302 --> 01:07:37,695
I don't know about you,
but it makes me feel impervious to pain.

1178
01:07:37,695 --> 01:07:41,348
Yeah. Kind of like
there's nothing left to be afraid of.

1179
01:07:41,348 --> 01:07:44,088
- Yeah. No, exactly.
- Right.

1180
01:07:44,088 --> 01:07:48,263
We could leap off this rock,
and it won't hurt us as bad as they did.

1181
01:07:50,437 --> 01:07:52,394
So jump, then.

1182
01:07:52,394 --> 01:07:54,830
No, I meant that,
like, as a metaphor, you know?

1183
01:07:54,830 --> 01:07:56,918
No. Just do it.

1184
01:07:59,831 --> 01:08:02,615
You'll be fine. Jump.

1185
01:08:08,486 --> 01:08:10,356
What the hell?

1186
01:08:12,444 --> 01:08:15,445
Oh, God! Oh, God. I made her kill herself!

1187
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:22,751
You must be crazy!

1188
01:08:22,751 --> 01:08:25,664
- So are you gonna jump or what?
- No!

1189
01:08:25,664 --> 01:08:29,230
Come on, Peter!
I can see your vagina from here!

1190
01:08:29,230 --> 01:08:32,057
I can see your hoo-ha.

1191
01:08:32,057 --> 01:08:34,449
I mean, I'll jump!

1192
01:08:34,449 --> 01:08:36,537
Chicken! Come on!

1193
01:08:52,890 --> 01:08:56,326
Please, God, don't let me die today.

1194
01:08:58,021 --> 01:08:59,892
- I'm okay!
- Okay!

1195
01:08:59,892 --> 01:09:02,893
- I'll just let go, right?
- No, no, no!

1196
01:09:02,893 --> 01:09:07,068
If you fall straight down,
you'd probably hit a rock and kill yourself!

1197
01:09:08,328 --> 01:09:10,286
- Totally.
- Yeah.

1198
01:09:10,286 --> 01:09:11,547
So what do I do?

1199
01:09:11,547 --> 01:09:14,374
Why don't you press your feet
up against the rock,

1200
01:09:14,374 --> 01:09:16,462
and, like, shoot yourself off!

1201
01:09:16,462 --> 01:09:18,245
- What, like a frog?
- I don't know, Peter!

1202
01:09:18,245 --> 01:09:20,941
Just get off the fucking rock!

1203
01:09:20,941 --> 01:09:23,333
- Here I go!
- Okay!

1204
01:09:23,333 --> 01:09:24,594
One!

1205
01:09:26,464 --> 01:09:27,595
Two!

1206
01:09:28,247 --> 01:09:29,508
Two!

1207
01:09:32,205 --> 01:09:34,510
- Two and a half!
- Jump!

1208
01:09:34,510 --> 01:09:35,945
Three!

1209
01:09:49,427 --> 01:09:53,166
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1210
01:09:53,166 --> 01:09:55,037
- You saw that, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw it!

1211
01:09:55,037 --> 01:09:57,559
I was there. I witnessed it.

1212
01:09:57,559 --> 01:09:58,908
Thanks.

1213
01:10:05,561 --> 01:10:07,040
Come on.

1214
01:10:14,738 --> 01:10:17,782
You've got Christ between your thighs,

1215
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:21,087
but with a shorter beard.

1216
01:10:21,610 --> 01:10:24,219
<i>- Mahalo.
- Aloha. </i>

1217
01:10:24,653 --> 01:10:27,176
- Sex!
- I'm cramping, I'm cramping.

1218
01:10:27,176 --> 01:10:28,829
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.

1219
01:10:31,004 --> 01:10:33,396
Petey? Petey?

1220
01:10:37,266 --> 01:10:40,093
Sorry. I knocked a bunch.

1221
01:10:40,093 --> 01:10:41,354
You were really out.
Ken sent me.

1222
01:10:43,094 --> 01:10:46,356
Dakota Fanning and her people,
they need this room.

1223
01:10:46,356 --> 01:10:48,008
She loves it here.

1224
01:10:48,964 --> 01:10:50,008
Oh.

1225
01:10:50,835 --> 01:10:52,096
So does that mean I have to leave the hotel?

1226
01:10:52,096 --> 01:10:53,140
Ken found you a room.

1227
01:10:55,097 --> 01:10:57,793
I'll take it, yeah.
I wanna hang out with Rachel a little more.

1228
01:11:00,011 --> 01:11:03,317
Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

1229
01:11:07,101 --> 01:11:09,493
Maybe you should just give me a minute.

1230
01:11:13,015 --> 01:11:16,060
It was the only room available!

1231
01:11:16,060 --> 01:11:17,843
I'm sure it was!

1232
01:11:21,583 --> 01:11:24,105
- Hey, how's it going?
- It's all right.

1233
01:11:24,105 --> 01:11:25,670
Really?

1234
01:11:25,670 --> 01:11:29,194
I think you got some pain behind
those eyes. A kind of pain that only...

1235
01:11:29,194 --> 01:11:30,845
Okay, you know what?
Let's cut the bullshit.

1236
01:11:30,845 --> 01:11:33,151
I wanna stand up on a wave before I leave.

1237
01:11:33,151 --> 01:11:35,020
I don't think you're ready yet, man.

1238
01:11:35,020 --> 01:11:38,588
- I'm ready to ride giants, Koonu.
- I think you're ready.

1239
01:12:01,116 --> 01:12:02,463
Petey!

1240
01:12:07,551 --> 01:12:08,725
- Hi.
- Hi.

1241
01:12:08,725 --> 01:12:11,553
Miss Marshall, what can I do for you?

1242
01:12:11,553 --> 01:12:14,118
Is there a place
to get good sushi around here?

1243
01:12:14,118 --> 01:12:18,293
Yeah. Yeah, there's a really great place
about five minutes from here called Asuki.

1244
01:12:18,642 --> 01:12:20,207
Perfect.

1245
01:12:20,207 --> 01:12:21,860
- Do you want me to get you a map?
- Please.

1246
01:12:21,860 --> 01:12:22,991
Okay.

1247
01:12:23,730 --> 01:12:27,166
So, this is where we are.

1248
01:12:27,166 --> 01:12:31,341
Head down Kamehameha,
and then pass Funaho Loko Marsh.

1249
01:12:31,341 --> 01:12:33,341
And it should be right to the left.

1250
01:12:33,341 --> 01:12:35,603
It might take, like, five minutes.

1251
01:12:35,603 --> 01:12:37,995
- Great. Thank you.
- Any time.

1252
01:12:41,779 --> 01:12:43,213
Um...

1253
01:12:43,213 --> 01:12:46,867
- I saw you with Peter Bretter...
- Yeah.

1254
01:12:46,867 --> 01:12:49,606
...who's my ex-boyfriend.

1255
01:12:49,606 --> 01:12:52,912
Oh, my God. I'm really sorry.

1256
01:12:52,912 --> 01:12:54,390
- No.
- It's not like that at all.

1257
01:12:54,390 --> 01:12:55,956
- It's not what you're...
- No, it's fine.

1258
01:12:55,956 --> 01:12:58,044
I'm just really glad
you're keeping him company, 'cause...

1259
01:12:58,044 --> 01:13:00,871
- Gosh, no.
... you seem like a really nice person,

1260
01:13:00,871 --> 01:13:03,654
- and you're very pretty.
- Thank you.

1261
01:13:03,654 --> 01:13:06,176
Gosh, you're, like, way prettier.

1262
01:13:06,176 --> 01:13:08,482
No, you're, like, so pretty.

1263
01:13:10,569 --> 01:13:11,917
Really?

1264
01:13:12,831 --> 01:13:16,397
- Yeah.
- Wow, thank you. Thank you.

1265
01:13:16,397 --> 01:13:18,571
And one more thing about Peter.

1266
01:13:18,571 --> 01:13:24,399
He's a really good guy. Really good.
Like, great, actually.

1267
01:13:24,921 --> 01:13:26,182
Yeah.

1268
01:13:26,835 --> 01:13:27,878
Um...

1269
01:13:31,705 --> 01:13:34,315
Please don't cry, Miss Marshall.

1270
01:13:34,315 --> 01:13:37,142
God. Do you need me to get you a tissue?

1271
01:13:37,142 --> 01:13:39,969
Oh, no, I'm good, I'm good.
I'm okay, I'm okay.

1272
01:13:40,882 --> 01:13:42,143
Okay.

1273
01:13:44,144 --> 01:13:47,971
- Thank you, Rachel.
- Any time, Miss Marshall.

1274
01:13:57,886 --> 01:14:00,061
Hey, ahoy, there!

1275
01:14:00,061 --> 01:14:01,844
You surf, too?

1276
01:14:01,844 --> 01:14:04,757
Good Lord, no.
I'm just drifting around, you know?

1277
01:14:04,757 --> 01:14:08,932
Getting in touch with the ocean and stuff.
It's really pleasant.

1278
01:14:09,237 --> 01:14:10,803
It was, yeah.

1279
01:14:12,500 --> 01:14:13,716
I'm gonna head in.

1280
01:14:13,716 --> 01:14:16,152
Before you go, actually, Peter,
I just wanted to tell you,

1281
01:14:16,152 --> 01:14:18,544
I was listening to Sarah's iPod
the other day,

1282
01:14:18,544 --> 01:14:22,501
and amidst the interminable dross
that's on that thing,

1283
01:14:22,501 --> 01:14:24,676
I found one track that I quite liked.

1284
01:14:24,676 --> 01:14:27,808
So I checked what it was,
and it was actually one of yours.

1285
01:14:27,808 --> 01:14:32,809
And it kind of reminded me of a dark,
gothic Neil Diamond. It's great.

1286
01:14:33,983 --> 01:14:36,244
That's, like, exactly what I'm going for.

1287
01:14:36,244 --> 01:14:37,811
Right, yeah.

1288
01:14:41,594 --> 01:14:42,942
Fuck.

1289
01:14:44,812 --> 01:14:46,378
Fuck, you're cool.

1290
01:14:47,944 --> 01:14:52,728
It's so hard to say,
because, like, I hate you in so many ways,

1291
01:14:54,728 --> 01:14:56,815
but whatever.
I can see why Sarah likes you.

1292
01:14:56,815 --> 01:15:00,339
No accounting for taste, I suppose.
In her case, anyway.

1293
01:15:00,339 --> 01:15:03,470
She was with me for five years,
so there you go.

1294
01:15:03,470 --> 01:15:06,383
Yeah, you got four on me there, mate.

1295
01:15:09,428 --> 01:15:11,732
You slept with Sarah a year ago?

1296
01:15:11,732 --> 01:15:15,865
I thought you knew!
Peter, please, don't take it seriously.

1297
01:15:16,082 --> 01:15:19,213
- What the fuck, man! You've...
- Don't get offended by that.

1298
01:15:19,213 --> 01:15:21,605
You can't be so casual about this!

1299
01:15:23,606 --> 01:15:24,736
This isn't Europe, okay?
There are rules here.

1300
01:15:24,736 --> 01:15:28,390
I'm really sorry.
I apologise for offending you, Peter.

1301
01:15:28,390 --> 01:15:31,651
I just hope this doesn't ruin our friendship.

1302
01:15:31,651 --> 01:15:33,086
Well, what's that about?

1303
01:15:33,086 --> 01:15:34,434
What do you think it's about?
This is a big deal!

1304
01:15:36,218 --> 01:15:37,479
What about a code of the ocean?
That's not on.

1305
01:15:37,479 --> 01:15:38,610
What about codes among men?

1306
01:15:38,610 --> 01:15:39,871
You don't sleep
with another man's girlfriend!

1307
01:15:39,871 --> 01:15:41,132
- Think of...
- Get out of here!

1308
01:15:41,132 --> 01:15:44,263
- All right, okay! All right!
- Get out of here!

1309
01:16:08,662 --> 01:16:09,574
Oh, God!

1310
01:16:30,972 --> 01:16:34,408
Koonu! This guy needs help! Koonu!

1311
01:16:37,539 --> 01:16:40,670
- Should I call the front desk?
- It hurts. It hurts.

1312
01:16:40,670 --> 01:16:43,062
Wow, you got coral right there in your leg!

1313
01:16:43,062 --> 01:16:44,627
Can you get it out of my leg, please,
hotel man?

1314
01:16:44,627 --> 01:16:45,759
Can you do something about that?

1315
01:16:45,759 --> 01:16:49,934
I'd love to, you know, but hotel policy...
They don't let me do that kind of thing.

1316
01:16:50,020 --> 01:16:52,021
They get all weirded out. Insurance...

1317
01:16:52,021 --> 01:16:54,021
Koonu, can you call
the front desk for me, please?

1318
01:16:54,021 --> 01:16:55,674
- Yeah.
- It really hurts.

1319
01:16:55,674 --> 01:16:58,675
Koonu, call the front desk now!

1320
01:16:58,675 --> 01:17:00,762
Okay, monster man.

1321
01:17:00,762 --> 01:17:02,676
Pete, he's not gonna do nothing.

1322
01:17:02,676 --> 01:17:04,633
I kind of have this thing about blood, okay?

1323
01:17:04,633 --> 01:17:08,504
Look at it. It's raping my leg.
Peter, get it out of my fucking leg, please!

1324
01:17:08,504 --> 01:17:10,809
One, two.

1325
01:17:10,809 --> 01:17:12,983
- You can't get it out.
- It's really in there.

1326
01:17:12,983 --> 01:17:15,505
- Get it out of me!
- Three!

1327
01:17:15,505 --> 01:17:17,767
Fuck my arse!

1328
01:17:17,767 --> 01:17:20,682
Okay, I got it. It's all done. It's all over.

1329
01:17:20,682 --> 01:17:22,160
Everything looks fine.

1330
01:17:25,378 --> 01:17:28,292
<i>It's all good! They're coming wiki wiki. </i>

1331
01:17:28,292 --> 01:17:32,467
Can you get some towels for me, please?
I'm really losing a lot of blood.

1332
01:17:32,684 --> 01:17:34,772
You sound like you're from London.

1333
01:17:34,772 --> 01:17:36,859
Yeah, I'm from London.

1334
01:17:42,296 --> 01:17:44,166
What's going on?

1335
01:17:44,166 --> 01:17:48,341
You fainted.
I didn't want you to wake up by yourself.

1336
01:17:48,341 --> 01:17:51,864
- How's your friend? Is he all right?
- Yeah.

1337
01:17:51,864 --> 01:17:54,386
They gave him stitches,
and he's sleeping it off.

1338
01:17:54,386 --> 01:17:56,561
- Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
- What?

1339
01:17:56,561 --> 01:17:58,866
Are you ready to laugh?
'Cause this is a gas.

1340
01:17:58,866 --> 01:18:00,214
Okay.

1341
01:18:00,214 --> 01:18:03,780
Edward Scissorhands over there told me
that you two were fucking each other

1342
01:18:03,780 --> 01:18:06,477
for a whole God damn year
while we were together.

1343
01:18:06,477 --> 01:18:07,607
Shit.

1344
01:18:07,607 --> 01:18:09,390
How about that, Sarah?

1345
01:18:09,390 --> 01:18:11,043
I'm sorry, Peter.

1346
01:18:12,304 --> 01:18:15,218
Pete, you shouldn't be up
and walking around. Can you please...

1347
01:18:15,218 --> 01:18:17,958
Please don't touch me.
Just don't touch me, okay?

1348
01:18:17,958 --> 01:18:19,697
I'm not touching you.

1349
01:18:19,697 --> 01:18:22,002
Will you just please sit? Please?

1350
01:18:23,046 --> 01:18:25,874
All right, I'll sit down,
but I'm sitting down 'cause I want to,

1351
01:18:25,874 --> 01:18:30,049
not because you've asked me to sit, okay?

1352
01:18:30,135 --> 01:18:31,396
Great.

1353
01:18:37,355 --> 01:18:38,572
A year?

1354
01:18:39,442 --> 01:18:42,138
Listen, I get it, okay? I just...

1355
01:18:42,138 --> 01:18:45,139
I need to understand what I did
to make you cheat. I just...

1356
01:18:45,139 --> 01:18:51,706
Pete, it's not anything you did.

1357
01:18:51,706 --> 01:18:55,576
You didn't do anything.
I mean, you were great.

1358
01:18:55,576 --> 01:18:58,403
Will you please cut the bullshit
and have a talk with me?

1359
01:18:58,403 --> 01:19:01,230
Fine. Cutting the bullshit.

1360
01:19:03,101 --> 01:19:05,493
It got really hard to keep taking care of you
when you stopped taking care of yourself.

1361
01:19:05,493 --> 01:19:06,753
I tried to get you out of the house.

1362
01:19:06,753 --> 01:19:11,625
I tried to get you off your little island
you loved so much, the couch.

1363
01:19:11,625 --> 01:19:13,408
You didn't wanna see the light of day!

1364
01:19:13,408 --> 01:19:17,583
God, there was one week
when you wore sweatpants! Every day.

1365
01:19:22,584 --> 01:19:26,150
You shall not pass!

1366
01:19:27,368 --> 01:19:30,630
You know what? If they were Sean John
sweatpants, it would have been fine.

1367
01:19:30,630 --> 01:19:33,849
But because they're Costco brand,
it's like the worst thing I could do.

1368
01:19:33,849 --> 01:19:37,415
That has nothing to do with it.
That's what you don't get.

1369
01:19:37,415 --> 01:19:41,241
I'm sorry that I didn't end up being
who we thought I was gonna be, you know?

1370
01:19:41,241 --> 01:19:46,156
I tried really hard. I promise you that.
I just didn't have it in me.

1371
01:19:46,156 --> 01:19:48,678
I think if you had just, maybe tried harder.

1372
01:19:48,678 --> 01:19:51,070
I tried!

1373
01:19:51,070 --> 01:19:53,680
You have no idea how hard I tried, Peter.

1374
01:19:53,680 --> 01:19:55,333
I talked to a therapist.

1375
01:19:55,333 --> 01:19:57,725
I talked to my mother.
I read every book possible.

1376
01:19:57,725 --> 01:19:59,943
I took love seminars. I took sex seminars.

1377
01:19:59,943 --> 01:20:02,509
None of it worked.
None of it made a difference to you.

1378
01:20:02,509 --> 01:20:05,987
And I couldn't drown with you any more.

1379
01:20:05,987 --> 01:20:10,771
Don't you dare sit there
and tell me that I didn't try.

1380
01:20:10,771 --> 01:20:12,859
I did.

1381
01:20:12,859 --> 01:20:15,251
You were just too stupid to notice.

1382
01:20:48,216 --> 01:20:51,434
Whoa. I thought you were gonna wear
the shirt I got you.

1383
01:20:51,434 --> 01:20:53,217
What? No.

1384
01:20:53,217 --> 01:20:56,001
I mean, I do love that shirt you got me.

1385
01:20:56,001 --> 01:20:58,741
I admire Sir Tommy Bahama an awful lot.

1386
01:20:58,741 --> 01:21:02,568
He's a talented man,
but tonight, I feel that this is appropriate.

1387
01:21:07,787 --> 01:21:11,223
Wow, thank you. Yeah, Sarah got it for me.

1388
01:21:12,614 --> 01:21:15,833
This is, like, way more convenient
than my backpack.

1389
01:21:19,181 --> 01:21:20,399
Awesome hat!

1390
01:21:20,399 --> 01:21:22,487
Thank you.
Yeah, my girlfriend got it for me!

1391
01:21:22,487 --> 01:21:24,183
- I'm fucking with you!
- Cool!

1392
01:21:29,488 --> 01:21:32,185
Sarah, can I use this lipstick, please?

1393
01:21:37,187 --> 01:21:40,144
Sure. I don't care.

1394
01:21:42,840 --> 01:21:44,406
I think it looks great.
But if you're not, let's go change.

1395
01:21:44,406 --> 01:21:47,929
No, I like it. I didn't like it at first.
Now I really think it's...

1396
01:21:47,929 --> 01:21:49,712
Oh, bloody hell. This is a small resort.

1397
01:21:49,712 --> 01:21:51,191
Hi, Peter.

1398
01:21:53,495 --> 01:21:55,017
Hey. Wow.

1399
01:21:56,409 --> 01:21:58,671
Aldous, Sarah, this is Rachel.

1400
01:21:58,671 --> 01:22:01,280
Sarah bought me this shirt.

1401
01:22:01,280 --> 01:22:02,672
I could've guessed that. Yeah.

1402
01:22:02,672 --> 01:22:03,890
- Looks great.
- You look great.

1403
01:22:03,890 --> 01:22:05,890
Looks awesome.

1404
01:22:05,890 --> 01:22:08,065
- See.
- Thanks.

1405
01:22:08,065 --> 01:22:12,240
Mr Snow, I'm so sorry.
I did not know you guys were coming.

1406
01:22:12,327 --> 01:22:13,501
You're gonna have to wait five minutes.

1407
01:22:13,501 --> 01:22:14,632
I did not know you guys were coming.

1408
01:22:14,632 --> 01:22:16,415
It's okay. It's not a problem.

1409
01:22:16,415 --> 01:22:18,285
I didn't see you guys, so...

1410
01:22:18,285 --> 01:22:20,807
There's really no need to weep.

1411
01:22:21,502 --> 01:22:23,069
I'm not crying.

1412
01:22:24,547 --> 01:22:27,462
It's no problem, honestly.
It's not a problem.

1413
01:22:27,462 --> 01:22:30,593
- So, your table is ready, guys.
- Oh, great.

1414
01:22:30,593 --> 01:22:32,245
Hey, have a lovely evening, you two.

1415
01:22:32,245 --> 01:22:34,159
- Thank you. Have a great dinner, you guys.
- Thank you.

1416
01:22:34,159 --> 01:22:35,594
You're welcome to join us, obviously,
if you want.

1417
01:22:35,594 --> 01:22:37,463
- Okay.
- Wouldn't dream of it. What?

1418
01:22:37,463 --> 01:22:38,639
What?

1419
01:22:39,682 --> 01:22:41,552
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.

1420
01:22:41,552 --> 01:22:43,335
That's great. Awesome.
- Sure.

1421
01:22:43,335 --> 01:22:44,683
Great. I'll just set two more places.

1422
01:22:44,683 --> 01:22:45,814
- Okay.
- Not a big deal.

1423
01:22:45,814 --> 01:22:47,293
Awesome.

1424
01:22:47,293 --> 01:22:51,468
So this is actually happening.
We're gonna let this happen.

1425
01:22:52,076 --> 01:22:53,120
I am so sorry.

1426
01:22:53,120 --> 01:22:54,164
I never thought in a million years
she would say yes.

1427
01:22:56,121 --> 01:22:57,295
I did.

1428
01:22:57,295 --> 01:23:00,296
What? I just accepted an invitation.
I didn't wanna be rude.

1429
01:23:00,296 --> 01:23:02,079
It's got us in a terrible situation.

1430
01:23:02,079 --> 01:23:04,166
Now I'm gonna have to sit with him
wearing this shirt all night.

1431
01:23:04,166 --> 01:23:06,037
You're wearing the shirt regardless.

1432
01:23:06,037 --> 01:23:07,820
Australia is amazing.

1433
01:23:07,820 --> 01:23:11,386
- I'm telling you. It is a great place to shoot.
- Yeah?

1434
01:23:11,386 --> 01:23:14,692
Rachel, you would love it.
You would love it.

1435
01:23:14,692 --> 01:23:17,519
I wanna go. I really, really wanna go there.

1436
01:23:17,519 --> 01:23:19,518
- Wait, so when's the movie coming out?
- Mmm.

1437
01:23:20,736 --> 01:23:22,737
It came out.

1438
01:23:22,737 --> 01:23:24,607
- It was already released.
- Oh.

1439
01:23:27,303 --> 01:23:29,304
Well, you know, it's an island.

1440
01:23:29,304 --> 01:23:30,435
It's isolated.

1441
01:23:30,435 --> 01:23:31,913
- Yeah.
- Movies don't really come out here.

1442
01:23:31,913 --> 01:23:34,610
- Obviously.
- Did you like it?

1443
01:23:34,610 --> 01:23:36,176
- The movie?
- Yeah.

1444
01:23:37,220 --> 01:23:39,524
- It was...
- Awful bloody film.

1445
01:23:39,524 --> 01:23:41,699
I say, it's just a ridiculous premise.

1446
01:23:41,699 --> 01:23:45,352
What would happen
if your mobile phone killed you?

1447
01:23:50,658 --> 01:23:52,354
I told her that when she read the script.

1448
01:23:52,354 --> 01:23:54,006
Yeah. You were the voice of reason, mate.

1449
01:23:54,006 --> 01:23:55,790
I tried to be, but she didn't listen.

1450
01:23:55,790 --> 01:23:58,616
Going around killing people.
A mobile phone, like, doing murders.

1451
01:23:58,616 --> 01:24:00,574
Why couldn't you just take the battery
out of the phone?

1452
01:24:00,574 --> 01:24:02,052
Right. That's it. The battle's over.

1453
01:24:02,052 --> 01:24:04,444
- Yeah, we've won.
I hated it.

1454
01:24:04,444 --> 01:24:06,532
Well, it's not for everyone, but it...

1455
01:24:06,532 --> 01:24:08,619
No, it's ridiculous. Here's my favourite scene.

1456
01:24:08,619 --> 01:24:10,272
Ring-ring. Hello?

1457
01:24:11,099 --> 01:24:13,012
Right. It would never happen.
- Yeah.

1458
01:24:13,012 --> 01:24:14,447
No, it could never happen.

1459
01:24:14,447 --> 01:24:18,622
It's a metaphor for addiction to technology.

1460
01:24:18,622 --> 01:24:22,797
For society,
for how we're reliant on technology.

1461
01:24:22,797 --> 01:24:23,928
I get it. I'm with you.

1462
01:24:23,928 --> 01:24:25,277
It's a metaphor for a crap movie.

1463
01:24:25,624 --> 01:24:27,799
Well, it was the right choice
for me at the time.

1464
01:24:27,799 --> 01:24:29,452
Sure.
- You know?

1465
01:24:41,977 --> 01:24:43,238
Well, this is awkward.

1466
01:24:47,499 --> 01:24:48,543
Yeah?

1467
01:24:49,283 --> 01:24:51,762
- It's a bit more awkward now.
A little.

1468
01:24:51,762 --> 01:24:54,807
Hey, excuse me.
Can we get another bottle of wine, please?

1469
01:24:54,807 --> 01:24:56,067
- Sure.
- Thank you.

1470
01:24:56,067 --> 01:24:57,197
Mr Snow?

1471
01:24:57,197 --> 01:24:59,589
Can I get cranberry juice
with a bit of lime in it, please.

1472
01:24:59,589 --> 01:25:01,286
Do you want cranberry juice
or cranberry cocktail?

1473
01:25:01,286 --> 01:25:03,896
Because I can probably rustle up either one.
Throw some OJ...

1474
01:25:03,896 --> 01:25:05,940
I don't care.

1475
01:25:05,940 --> 01:25:07,418
Okay, great.

1476
01:25:16,812 --> 01:25:19,204
Hey, can we get another bottle of wine?

1477
01:25:28,685 --> 01:25:30,772
If I've learned anything from addiction,
it's that,

1478
01:25:30,772 --> 01:25:35,382
you know, life is as brief
as the twinkling of a star over all too soon.

1479
01:25:35,382 --> 01:25:37,253
So if you're in a situation
where you're with a woman,

1480
01:25:39,645 --> 01:25:40,905
why not do the most interesting thing
that you can do in that situation?

1481
01:25:40,905 --> 01:25:43,385
And by which, I don't mean
have a conversation,

1482
01:25:43,385 --> 01:25:44,950
have a chin-wag, a bit of a chat.

1483
01:25:44,950 --> 01:25:48,386
Lose yourself in something
that's both ancient and perennial.

1484
01:25:48,386 --> 01:25:52,561
Find something eternal, perpetual.
Lose yourself in fuck.

1485
01:25:54,648 --> 01:25:56,954
I'm going to disagree.

1486
01:25:56,954 --> 01:25:58,389
Respectfully, of course, sir.

1487
01:25:58,389 --> 01:26:00,606
Maybe for you, that works.

1488
01:26:00,606 --> 01:26:03,825
For me, it's much more enjoyable
to get to know somebody.

1489
01:26:03,825 --> 01:26:05,521
If you end up sleeping with them,
that's great.

1490
01:26:05,521 --> 01:26:07,696
But I like getting to know somebody.

1491
01:26:07,696 --> 01:26:08,740
But he...

1492
01:26:09,261 --> 01:26:13,306
What he's saying is that
he's gonna stick it wherever he wants,

1493
01:26:13,306 --> 01:26:15,916
but he's joking.

1494
01:26:15,916 --> 01:26:17,699
I ain't. No, I'm not joking.

1495
01:26:17,699 --> 01:26:20,091
It's just what I believe, really.

1496
01:26:21,439 --> 01:26:23,004
So...

1497
01:26:23,004 --> 01:26:28,745
Just so we're clear and so I can hone in
on your central thesis of the night,

1498
01:26:28,745 --> 01:26:30,310
wade through all the bullshit,

1499
01:26:30,310 --> 01:26:33,137
you're telling me
that you think you have the right

1500
01:26:33,137 --> 01:26:35,834
to just fuck anyone, anywhere, anytime?

1501
01:26:35,834 --> 01:26:37,835
- Yes. There it is. That's right.
- That's what you're saying?

1502
01:26:37,835 --> 01:26:40,966
Not so eloquently
as you just put it, sweetheart.

1503
01:26:40,966 --> 01:26:42,401
But ultimately, yes, that is...

1504
01:26:42,401 --> 01:26:44,488
Oh, no! Not the shirt!

1505
01:26:44,488 --> 01:26:47,533
Take my eyes, but not the shirt. Mmm.

1506
01:26:48,054 --> 01:26:51,055
Yeah, that's pretty much
what I believe, Sarah.

1507
01:26:51,055 --> 01:26:53,664
When you're done making jokes,
are you gonna get a napkin?

1508
01:26:53,664 --> 01:26:56,188
Do you know what? I think I've improved it,
actually, against all odds.

1509
01:26:56,188 --> 01:26:57,536
I think I deserve a design award.

1510
01:26:57,536 --> 01:26:59,623
Please get some seltzer water.

1511
01:26:59,623 --> 01:27:02,015
- Gar�on, could we get some...
- I saw it from farther away.

1512
01:27:03,885 --> 01:27:05,973
- Okay.
- Just lean back for a second.

1513
01:27:05,973 --> 01:27:07,756
No, it's all right. It's not there. Let me...

1514
01:27:07,756 --> 01:27:09,190
You're very diligent. I appreciate it.

1515
01:27:09,190 --> 01:27:11,191
Let go of the glass now.
You're gonna have to walk away.

1516
01:27:11,191 --> 01:27:12,844
Bless you. There you are.

1517
01:27:13,192 --> 01:27:14,932
Oh, me, oh, my.

1518
01:27:15,888 --> 01:27:18,063
- Call the doctor.
- Oh, good.

1519
01:27:27,152 --> 01:27:29,326
- I love Hawaii.
- Is it good?

1520
01:27:29,326 --> 01:27:33,501
Yeah, it's nice,
but I think for like a week tops.

1521
01:27:33,501 --> 01:27:35,372
Any more than that, I know I'd go crazy,

1522
01:27:35,372 --> 01:27:39,243
because I think that
Hawaii is a place to escape

1523
01:27:39,243 --> 01:27:42,156
for people who can't deal
with the real world.

1524
01:27:44,461 --> 01:27:49,550
Yeah, you know, there's so few
personal shoppers and pet therapists.

1525
01:27:49,550 --> 01:27:51,768
Gosh, it's such a hard life.

1526
01:28:02,075 --> 01:28:03,728
I like living here.

1527
01:28:06,250 --> 01:28:09,164
- Anyone need any more vino?
- I think we're good.

1528
01:28:11,251 --> 01:28:13,122
I've a question for you real quick, Mr S.

1529
01:28:13,122 --> 01:28:16,470
I was actually meaning to ask you,
what did you exactly think of my demo?

1530
01:28:16,470 --> 01:28:18,949
Did you get it? Did you get it?

1531
01:28:18,949 --> 01:28:21,776
Oh, no. I was gonna listen to that,

1532
01:28:21,776 --> 01:28:24,908
but then I just carried on living my life.

1533
01:28:27,821 --> 01:28:29,169
Not at all?

1534
01:28:29,169 --> 01:28:33,170
No, I didn't, because, you know,
I go on my instincts,

1535
01:28:33,170 --> 01:28:34,823
and they weren't good.

1536
01:28:36,476 --> 01:28:40,434
You know what, dude?
Fuck you, okay? You can go fuck yourself.

1537
01:28:40,434 --> 01:28:42,434
I can't yell right now because I'll get fired.

1538
01:28:42,434 --> 01:28:43,565
My boss will hear me,

1539
01:28:43,565 --> 01:28:45,565
and then I won't be able
to pay off my student loans.

1540
01:28:45,565 --> 01:28:48,479
But you know what? You're an asshole.
I fucking hate you.

1541
01:28:48,479 --> 01:28:49,610
I bought all your records.

1542
01:28:49,610 --> 01:28:52,436
This whole fucking time, I've been trying
to get you to come hang out with me.

1543
01:28:52,436 --> 01:28:56,612
I'm gonna have people fuck with your food
the rest of your trip, you fucking dick!

1544
01:28:56,829 --> 01:28:59,221
I like him. That was quite moving.

1545
01:29:14,660 --> 01:29:16,008
Wait, wait, wait.

1546
01:29:16,008 --> 01:29:17,791
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

1547
01:29:18,835 --> 01:29:21,097
Are you sure that you're not,
like, too drunk?

1548
01:29:21,097 --> 01:29:23,837
Jesus, would you stop being so sensitive.

1549
01:29:50,104 --> 01:29:51,148
Aldous.

1550
01:29:52,714 --> 01:29:54,149
Wake up.

1551
01:29:54,149 --> 01:29:56,889
- Aldous. Wake up.
- Hmm...

1552
01:29:56,889 --> 01:29:58,454
Make love to me.

1553
01:30:00,846 --> 01:30:02,717
All right. You go on top, though,
'cause I'm knackered.

1554
01:30:18,982 --> 01:30:20,113
Listen.

1555
01:30:22,548 --> 01:30:24,288
Yes! Yes!

1556
01:30:27,115 --> 01:30:29,202
- Yeah.
Yes!

1557
01:30:29,202 --> 01:30:30,768
- Oh, yes!
- Yeah!

1558
01:30:33,812 --> 01:30:35,857
- Yeah! Oh, God!
- Yeah!

1559
01:30:40,032 --> 01:30:41,597
- Right there!
- Yes!

1560
01:30:41,597 --> 01:30:44,119
- Yes!
- Yes! She's having an orgasm!

1561
01:30:44,119 --> 01:30:46,076
This is the best sex ever!

1562
01:30:46,076 --> 01:30:47,990
Yeah, all right, that'll do.

1563
01:30:48,599 --> 01:30:49,860
What?

1564
01:30:50,991 --> 01:30:52,861
I made a mistake coming here with you.

1565
01:30:56,644 --> 01:30:58,732
And I'm not done either!

1566
01:30:59,863 --> 01:31:01,951
- Please shut up! Okay.
- Okay!

1567
01:31:01,951 --> 01:31:04,255
You're still involved with him next door,
ain't you?

1568
01:31:04,255 --> 01:31:05,387
Excuse me?

1569
01:31:05,387 --> 01:31:07,256
You should've seen yourself
at dinner, Sarah.

1570
01:31:07,256 --> 01:31:11,431
Then we come back here,
and you put on that ghastly performance.

1571
01:31:11,736 --> 01:31:14,780
I mean, I've heard that
women do fake orgasms,

1572
01:31:14,780 --> 01:31:16,346
but I've never seen one.

1573
01:31:16,346 --> 01:31:18,129
It really deeply upset me.

1574
01:31:18,129 --> 01:31:19,477
You should have seen yourself at dinner.

1575
01:31:21,216 --> 01:31:25,391
"Oh, I'm Aldous
Snow. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

1576
01:31:25,523 --> 01:31:27,610
"No, no drinks for me, thanks.

1577
01:31:27,610 --> 01:31:29,262
"Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. "

1578
01:31:29,262 --> 01:31:31,958
That's a really reductive impression.

1579
01:31:31,958 --> 01:31:34,481
If I wanted to see you act badly,
I'd just watch your TV show,

1580
01:31:34,481 --> 01:31:36,786
which, obviously, I can't now,
because it's been cancelled.

1581
01:31:36,786 --> 01:31:38,874
Oh, my God, you're such a prick.

1582
01:31:38,874 --> 01:31:40,004
And you know what?

1583
01:31:40,004 --> 01:31:43,135
Let me tell you something
about these tattoos, okay?

1584
01:31:43,135 --> 01:31:47,310
That is Buddhist. That is Nordic.
That is Hindu. That's just gibberish.

1585
01:31:47,398 --> 01:31:49,616
They are completely conflicting ideologies.

1586
01:31:49,616 --> 01:31:52,008
And that does not make you
a citizen of the world.

1587
01:31:52,008 --> 01:31:53,877
It makes you full of shit.

1588
01:31:57,401 --> 01:32:00,010
Was that genuine or did you fake that?

1589
01:32:02,011 --> 01:32:06,186
Right. I'm gonna probably clear off now.

1590
01:32:06,272 --> 01:32:07,838
I'll have a little sleep for a few hours,

1591
01:32:07,838 --> 01:32:11,709
then I'm gonna probably go
in the morning, okay?

1592
01:32:16,493 --> 01:32:18,711
I hate your music.

1593
01:32:18,711 --> 01:32:22,016
Yeah, well,
I fucked the housekeeper the other day.

1594
01:32:28,365 --> 01:32:30,062
Are you sleeping?

1595
01:32:30,888 --> 01:32:32,366
Not any more.

1596
01:32:37,890 --> 01:32:42,065
I know that I'm leaving in a couple of days,
so I don't even know

1597
01:32:44,022 --> 01:32:46,023
what the hell this means,

1598
01:32:49,545 --> 01:32:52,459
but I really like spending time with you a lot.

1599
01:32:55,895 --> 01:32:57,591
I know. Me too.

1600
01:33:06,463 --> 01:33:07,377
Hey.

1601
01:33:13,639 --> 01:33:15,118
Good morning.

1602
01:33:17,901 --> 01:33:19,379
Where are you going?

1603
01:33:19,379 --> 01:33:22,815
The Korean Textile Manufacturer's Luau.

1604
01:33:22,815 --> 01:33:25,207
- Just kill me.
- Fun.

1605
01:33:25,207 --> 01:33:26,251
Joy.

1606
01:33:28,121 --> 01:33:31,774
I want you to know
that I meant what I said last night.

1607
01:33:33,122 --> 01:33:34,601
I know you did.

1608
01:33:35,863 --> 01:33:37,428
I did, too.

1609
01:33:39,906 --> 01:33:42,647
- Can I see you again tonight?
- Yeah.

1610
01:33:43,777 --> 01:33:45,648
- I get off at 7:00.
- Yay.

1611
01:33:46,473 --> 01:33:47,649
Bye.

1612
01:33:50,649 --> 01:33:51,997
Sir, morning mai tai.

1613
01:33:51,997 --> 01:33:53,998
You know what?

1614
01:33:53,998 --> 01:33:57,955
I actually will not be having
an alcoholic beverage this morning.

1615
01:34:25,485 --> 01:34:27,485
Jump! Jump! Jump!
- Don't make me do it.

1616
01:34:47,056 --> 01:34:49,057
Hey. Morning, mate.

1617
01:34:49,882 --> 01:34:53,623
- How are you today?
- Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. You okay?

1618
01:34:53,623 --> 01:34:55,841
Am I okay? I'm better than okay, my friend.

1619
01:34:55,841 --> 01:34:57,493
You seem sprightly.

1620
01:34:57,493 --> 01:34:58,755
I...

1621
01:34:59,364 --> 01:35:01,059
I had a great time last night.

1622
01:35:01,059 --> 01:35:04,495
- Congratulations. Well done. Well done.
- Thank you.

1623
01:35:04,495 --> 01:35:06,366
What about you? What's with the bag?

1624
01:35:06,366 --> 01:35:09,802
Right, yeah. I'm off back to England, mate.

1625
01:35:09,802 --> 01:35:11,280
Oh, you and Sarah are going to England.

1626
01:35:11,280 --> 01:35:13,672
No, no, no. I'm just going alone.

1627
01:35:14,498 --> 01:35:16,455
- Yeah.
- Did you guys have a fight or something?

1628
01:35:16,455 --> 01:35:20,109
Yeah, it was really... How you served
five years under her, I don't know.

1629
01:35:20,109 --> 01:35:24,805
You deserve a medal or a holiday
or at least a cuddle from somebody.

1630
01:35:24,805 --> 01:35:26,588
You were only here for a week.

1631
01:35:26,588 --> 01:35:28,762
Well, I don't know.
For me, that one week of it

1632
01:35:28,762 --> 01:35:33,460
was like going on holiday with,
I don't know, I wouldn't say Hitler,

1633
01:35:33,460 --> 01:35:36,896
but certainly Goebbels.
It was like a little holiday with Hitler.

1634
01:35:36,896 --> 01:35:38,374
Jesus.

1635
01:35:38,374 --> 01:35:41,896
Hey, listen, at least it's clear now
for you two to reconnect.

1636
01:35:41,896 --> 01:35:43,158
Oh...

1637
01:35:44,420 --> 01:35:46,724
No, no. No.

1638
01:35:46,724 --> 01:35:49,116
You know what?
I have a good thing going on with Rachel,

1639
01:35:49,116 --> 01:35:50,899
and I want to see that through.

1640
01:35:50,899 --> 01:35:54,422
Well, maybe you could have both of them.
Rachel and Sarah.

1641
01:35:54,422 --> 01:35:57,336
They got on all right, didn't they, at dinner?
So maybe...

1642
01:35:57,336 --> 01:35:59,858
You know what?
First of all, I'm not that kind of guy.

1643
01:35:59,858 --> 01:36:04,642
And even if I was, I don't think that I have
the sexual competency to really pull that off.

1644
01:36:04,642 --> 01:36:06,295
Yeah. It's a gift.

1645
01:36:06,295 --> 01:36:09,557
I will say,
if you do get back with Miss Marshall,

1646
01:36:09,557 --> 01:36:11,861
handle with care, because, you know...

1647
01:36:14,036 --> 01:36:15,819
Okay. Well, I think my ride's here.

1648
01:36:15,819 --> 01:36:18,602
So I'm gonna skedaddle then
before anything else happens to me.

1649
01:36:18,602 --> 01:36:20,299
Before life gets any more daft.

1650
01:36:20,299 --> 01:36:21,952
Is someone gonna take that?

1651
01:36:21,952 --> 01:36:24,560
Listen, don't let them grind you down.

1652
01:36:25,822 --> 01:36:27,170
Take it easy.

1653
01:36:27,170 --> 01:36:29,779
Hey, look at my driver.
I'm gonna have sex with her.

1654
01:36:34,346 --> 01:36:36,955
He said it was clear I wasn't over you.

1655
01:36:39,565 --> 01:36:41,435
And then he left.

1656
01:36:41,435 --> 01:36:42,913
Fucking prick.

1657
01:36:44,914 --> 01:36:48,220
And then I started thinking,
what if he's right?

1658
01:36:48,220 --> 01:36:51,133
What if I'm not over you?

1659
01:36:53,047 --> 01:36:55,961
- Sarah...
- Please just let me finish, Pete.

1660
01:37:02,919 --> 01:37:06,181
What if I made
a really, really horrible mistake?

1661
01:37:09,095 --> 01:37:13,270
- Sarah.
- Yeah?

1662
01:37:13,357 --> 01:37:15,879
Stop pulling my face towards your face.

1663
01:37:15,879 --> 01:37:17,750
Why?

1664
01:37:17,750 --> 01:37:19,402
You don't like it?

1665
01:37:19,402 --> 01:37:24,099
Listen, pulling my shirt towards you
is the same concept as pulling my face.

1666
01:37:24,099 --> 01:37:28,274
Let's spend one more night here together,
and then let's go home and then...

1667
01:37:28,361 --> 01:37:30,361
And we'll just pretend
like it never happened.

1668
01:37:30,361 --> 01:37:32,537
...face reality. No.
- That's the big plan?

1669
01:37:32,537 --> 01:37:34,320
No. I love you.

1670
01:37:34,320 --> 01:37:37,451
That's not fair.
That's not fair of you to say that to me.

1671
01:37:39,451 --> 01:37:40,887
Please, Peter.

1672
01:37:43,800 --> 01:37:46,322
- Tell me you're sorry.
- I'm so sorry.

1673
01:37:49,672 --> 01:37:51,193
I missed you.

1674
01:37:56,543 --> 01:37:57,587
I'm sorry.

1675
01:38:00,587 --> 01:38:02,588
God, I missed you, Peter.

1676
01:38:09,894 --> 01:38:10,808
All right.

1677
01:38:11,547 --> 01:38:14,983
Get hard for me, Pete. Get hard for me.

1678
01:38:14,983 --> 01:38:17,809
- I know what I'm supposed to do.
- Okay.

1679
01:38:17,809 --> 01:38:19,767
Just do it. Come on. Get hard.

1680
01:38:19,767 --> 01:38:21,550
- I'm trying.
- Okay.

1681
01:38:21,550 --> 01:38:23,419
- Here. Just let me do it for a second.
- Okay.

1682
01:38:25,637 --> 01:38:28,856
I really want you, Peter. I missed you.

1683
01:38:28,856 --> 01:38:30,335
You don't want help?

1684
01:38:30,335 --> 01:38:33,770
- You don't want help? Uh-huh.
- Can you be quiet just for a minute?

1685
01:38:33,770 --> 01:38:34,901
Do you want my hands?

1686
01:38:34,901 --> 01:38:38,120
Maybe just don't talk for a second
is what I mean.

1687
01:38:39,294 --> 01:38:40,859
Do you want my mouth?

1688
01:38:40,859 --> 01:38:43,338
- Yeah, maybe your mouth.
- Yeah. Okay.

1689
01:38:51,905 --> 01:38:54,515
What's the problem, Peter?

1690
01:38:54,515 --> 01:38:56,689
- I don't know...
- More?

1691
01:38:56,689 --> 01:38:58,995
You can keep trying if you want.

1692
01:39:03,474 --> 01:39:05,562
What's wrong with you?

1693
01:39:05,562 --> 01:39:07,736
- Nothing is wrong with me, okay?
- Okay.

1694
01:39:07,736 --> 01:39:09,823
- No, I didn't...
- Just, something doesn't feel right any more.

1695
01:39:09,823 --> 01:39:11,824
Okay. Well, did you... You know what?

1696
01:39:11,824 --> 01:39:13,999
Did you drink today?
Because sometimes when you drink...

1697
01:39:13,999 --> 01:39:15,565
Excuse me.

1698
01:39:15,565 --> 01:39:18,391
No, I haven't had anything to drink today.

1699
01:39:20,783 --> 01:39:25,480
Maybe the problem is that
you broke my heart into a million pieces,

1700
01:39:25,480 --> 01:39:29,220
and so my cock doesn't want
to be around you any more, okay?

1701
01:39:29,220 --> 01:39:30,264
Ever!

1702
01:39:32,351 --> 01:39:34,961
Because you know what I just realised?
Huh?

1703
01:39:34,961 --> 01:39:37,788
You're the God damn devil. Okay?

1704
01:39:42,485 --> 01:39:45,399
Wedding in Hawaii! Real original!

1705
01:39:56,358 --> 01:39:58,533
- Hey.
- Hey, Rachel.

1706
01:40:00,012 --> 01:40:03,099
- Sarah and Aldous broke up this morning.
- What a surprise.

1707
01:40:03,099 --> 01:40:05,839
So I went to check on Sarah, and...

1708
01:40:08,666 --> 01:40:11,145
Listen, I'm here
because I don't want to lie to you, okay?

1709
01:40:11,145 --> 01:40:13,146
Some stuff happened.

1710
01:40:13,146 --> 01:40:15,102
I'm really, really sorry that it did,

1711
01:40:15,102 --> 01:40:18,147
but I'm also really glad that it did, because

1712
01:40:18,147 --> 01:40:22,713
I'm able to see so clearly now
that Sarah and I are not right for each other.

1713
01:40:23,974 --> 01:40:25,453
What stuff?

1714
01:40:27,627 --> 01:40:33,368
I went up to make sure that she was okay,
and it got weird.

1715
01:40:33,368 --> 01:40:35,238
But now everything is fine.

1716
01:40:35,238 --> 01:40:36,891
And I need you to understand

1717
01:40:36,891 --> 01:40:39,196
that I meant everything that I said
to you this morning.

1718
01:40:39,196 --> 01:40:40,457
What exactly happened, Peter?

1719
01:40:40,457 --> 01:40:42,110
We fooled around a little bit.

1720
01:40:42,110 --> 01:40:45,328
Shut the fuck up,
and tell me exactly what you did.

1721
01:40:47,024 --> 01:40:53,070
All right. I went to her room,
and she was crying and crying and crying.

1722
01:40:53,070 --> 01:40:55,244
And I felt like I should comfort her.

1723
01:40:55,244 --> 01:40:58,679
And then she started kissing me
because I was comforting her.

1724
01:40:58,679 --> 01:41:00,897
And then the next thing I knew,
I was kissing her

1725
01:41:00,897 --> 01:41:03,072
because she had been kissing me
because of the comforting.

1726
01:41:03,072 --> 01:41:06,943
Then she started taking my clothes off,
and then her clothes were off.

1727
01:41:10,074 --> 01:41:13,901
Then she performed
10 to 15 seconds of oral sex on me.

1728
01:41:13,901 --> 01:41:15,467
Okay. Peter, you can leave now.

1729
01:41:15,467 --> 01:41:18,206
- At the most. Maximum.
- Thank you for staying at Turtle Bay.

1730
01:41:18,206 --> 01:41:19,424
Rachel, please don't do this.

1731
01:41:19,424 --> 01:41:21,947
The only reason I'm telling you this
is because I really care about...

1732
01:41:21,947 --> 01:41:24,034
Listen to me, Peter.

1733
01:41:24,034 --> 01:41:27,165
I was a mess, too. I understand. Okay?

1734
01:41:27,165 --> 01:41:30,515
But it does not excuse
you acting like a complete asshole.

1735
01:41:30,515 --> 01:41:33,298
Listen, I know that
I fucked things up for a minute,

1736
01:41:33,298 --> 01:41:34,994
but I'm not like every other asshole.

1737
01:41:34,994 --> 01:41:38,647
You should not be with anybody right now.

1738
01:41:38,647 --> 01:41:39,865
Anybody.

1739
01:41:41,778 --> 01:41:43,735
I know...

1740
01:41:43,735 --> 01:41:45,388
I know that there is something here.

1741
01:41:45,388 --> 01:41:47,389
I know that I was not wrong about that.

1742
01:41:47,389 --> 01:41:51,260
And, yes, it's only been four days,
but I know you feel it, too.

1743
01:41:55,956 --> 01:41:57,695
I need you to leave.

1744
01:41:59,783 --> 01:42:03,654
Do not write me. Do not call me.
Do not e-mail me.

1745
01:42:09,481 --> 01:42:11,569
Peter, I need you to go.

1746
01:42:16,048 --> 01:42:18,049
I won't bother you any more.

1747
01:42:19,180 --> 01:42:20,441
I'm sorry.

1748
01:42:27,966 --> 01:42:29,835
I don't know what to do.

1749
01:42:37,837 --> 01:42:39,925
Hey, brother, what you doing, huh?
You stealing my art?

1750
01:42:39,925 --> 01:42:42,447
I want you to put it back right now.
Put it back, bro!

1751
01:42:42,447 --> 01:42:45,057
Listen, give me the picture.

1752
01:42:45,057 --> 01:42:47,449
Doo-doo paper.
You're throwing doo-doo paper?

1753
01:42:47,449 --> 01:42:49,101
Give me the picture.

1754
01:42:51,928 --> 01:42:55,276
Don't be stupid, brother.
Just give me the picture.

1755
01:42:55,276 --> 01:42:58,191
You can hit me as many times as you want.
I'm not giving you the photo back.

1756
01:42:58,191 --> 01:42:59,235
Oh, yeah.

1757
01:43:06,019 --> 01:43:09,542
No, no, no.
Peter, I told you I did not want to see you.

1758
01:43:28,939 --> 01:43:32,809
<i>Aloha, I'm Sarah Marshall
from Crime Scene: Scene of the Crime. </i>

1759
01:43:32,809 --> 01:43:34,462
<i>And when I'm not scrubbing for evidence,</i>

1760
01:43:34,462 --> 01:43:38,115
<i>I'm flying Hawaiian Airlines
to my favourite destinations. </i>

1761
01:43:38,115 --> 01:43:40,637
<i>Now sit back
and enjoy your in-flight entertainment. </i>

1762
01:43:40,637 --> 01:43:42,508
<i>I know I will. Mahalo. </i>

1763
01:43:43,117 --> 01:43:46,465
<i> Everybody hates you</i>

1764
01:43:46,465 --> 01:43:50,031
<i>Everybody wishes that you were dead</i>

1765
01:43:50,031 --> 01:43:51,684
<i>Because, Peter, you suck</i>

1766
01:43:51,684 --> 01:43:53,685
<i>Peter, you suck</i>

1767
01:43:53,685 --> 01:43:56,990
<i>Peter, your music is fucking terrible</i>

1768
01:43:56,990 --> 01:44:00,338
<i>Peter, you suck</i>

1769
01:44:00,338 --> 01:44:03,687
<i>Peter, you don't do anything of value</i>

1770
01:44:03,687 --> 01:44:05,252
<i>Peter, you suck</i>

1771
01:44:05,252 --> 01:44:09,428
<i>Write some music but instead
you sit and write these bullshit songs</i>

1772
01:44:09,732 --> 01:44:11,515
<i>It's so self-loathing</i>

1773
01:44:11,515 --> 01:44:14,820
<i>Go see a psychiatrist
I hate the psychiatrist</i>

1774
01:44:14,820 --> 01:44:16,387
<i>Well, go see one anyway</i>

1775
01:44:16,387 --> 01:44:17,865
<i>I don't like the psychiatrist</i>

1776
01:44:17,865 --> 01:44:19,518
<i>You need to go and see one</i>

1777
01:44:19,518 --> 01:44:21,083
<i>See a psychiatrist</i>

1778
01:44:21,083 --> 01:44:22,562
<i>I'm not going</i>

1779
01:44:58,310 --> 01:45:03,747
<i>It's getting kind of hard to believe
things are going to get better</i>

1780
01:45:50,760 --> 01:45:52,413
I don't understand
what there is to think about.

1781
01:45:52,413 --> 01:45:53,674
Because, D, he...

1782
01:45:53,674 --> 01:45:56,284
She licked the tip. That doesn't count.

1783
01:45:56,284 --> 01:45:59,110
- Of course it counts. He...
- He what?

1784
01:45:59,110 --> 01:46:02,763
He refused a blowjob
from his ex-girlfriend mid-blowjob.

1785
01:46:02,763 --> 01:46:05,764
Do you know what that's like for a man?
It's called blue balls, Rachel.

1786
01:46:05,764 --> 01:46:07,982
This guy is like Gandhi, but better.

1787
01:46:07,982 --> 01:46:09,113
He likes puppets.

1788
01:46:09,113 --> 01:46:10,069
I love puppets.

1789
01:46:11,810 --> 01:46:14,723
I love Fraggle Rock. I love Lamb Chop.
I love Elmo.

1790
01:46:14,723 --> 01:46:18,203
<i>Sesame Street, Bert and Ernie,
Snuffelupagus. Fucks my shit up. </i>

1791
01:46:22,464 --> 01:46:26,118
<i> This is a song that
I never thought I would write</i>

1792
01:46:26,118 --> 01:46:28,292
<i>On the night I'm dying</i>

1793
01:46:28,292 --> 01:46:31,423
<i>Sorry for all the wrong I've done</i>

1794
01:46:31,423 --> 01:46:33,293
<i>I'm finished trying</i>

1795
01:46:33,293 --> 01:46:38,512
<i>It was a wonderful dream
Now let him come and slay me</i>

1796
01:46:38,512 --> 01:46:40,164
<i>There he is</i>

1797
01:46:40,164 --> 01:46:42,905
<i>The demon
who haunted the streets of London</i>

1798
01:46:42,905 --> 01:46:44,557
<i>I've come to slay you</i>

1799
01:46:44,557 --> 01:46:46,254
<i>Here I am!</i>

1800
01:46:46,254 --> 01:46:48,732
<i>I'll leave you bleeding in my dungeon</i>

1801
01:46:48,732 --> 01:46:52,603
<i>I'll never obey you
I'll rip out your oesophagus</i>

1802
01:46:52,603 --> 01:46:57,474
<i>Please, Mr Van Helsing
Listen to me</i>

1803
01:46:57,474 --> 01:47:03,041
<i>He is just a man who wishes to be free</i>

1804
01:47:03,041 --> 01:47:06,258
<i>Lay him in a hearse
You must end this curse</i>

1805
01:47:06,258 --> 01:47:07,911
<i>He is the worst!</i>

1806
01:47:20,654 --> 01:47:23,960
<i>Don't go my love</i>

1807
01:47:23,960 --> 01:47:28,047
<i>I can't say goodbye</i>

1808
01:47:28,047 --> 01:47:31,918
<i>My reign is done</i>

1809
01:47:31,918 --> 01:47:37,137
<i>It's time to die</i>

1810
01:47:38,050 --> 01:47:39,833
<i>I'm pregnant</i>

1811
01:47:39,833 --> 01:47:41,616
<i>Dracula</i>

1812
01:47:41,616 --> 01:47:42,834
<i>VAN HELSING: What have I done?</i>

1813
01:47:42,834 --> 01:47:45,139
<i>Has flown above</i>

1814
01:47:45,139 --> 01:47:46,488
<i>Who killed Dracula?</i>

1815
01:47:46,488 --> 01:47:50,054
<i>But he found a taste</i>

1816
01:47:50,054 --> 01:47:53,055
<i>A taste for love</i>

1817
01:47:53,055 --> 01:47:55,794
<i>My life is a lie</i>

1818
01:47:55,794 --> 01:48:01,535
<i>Sweet Dracula
I miss my young dead prince</i>

1819
01:48:01,535 --> 01:48:05,710
<i>I'll never see him again</i>

1820
01:48:05,797 --> 01:48:08,276
<i>Until my death</i>

1821
01:48:08,276 --> 01:48:11,625
<i>What a wonderful dream</i>

1822
01:48:11,625 --> 01:48:17,278
<i>To find a taste for love</i>

1823
01:48:17,278 --> 01:48:23,628
<i>A taste for love</i>

1824
01:48:52,506 --> 01:48:56,463
Wow. You came.
I can't believe that you came.

1825
01:48:57,638 --> 01:48:59,594
Peter, this is great.

1826
01:48:59,594 --> 01:49:02,813
- It was really funny. Yeah.
- Thank you.

1827
01:49:02,813 --> 01:49:04,508
You know what?
I didn't realise that it was a comedy,

1828
01:49:04,508 --> 01:49:09,075
and then someone told me that,
and it just, like, opened the whole thing up.

1829
01:49:11,163 --> 01:49:14,599
- How long are you in town for?
- Open-ended.

1830
01:49:14,599 --> 01:49:15,773
- Bold.
- Yeah.

1831
01:49:15,773 --> 01:49:16,817
Yeah, you know, I'm kind of
checking out some schools.

1832
01:49:19,818 --> 01:49:22,426
- Congratulations.
- Yeah, maybe.

1833
01:49:25,645 --> 01:49:27,341
You never called.

1834
01:49:28,602 --> 01:49:31,908
You told me not to. And I listened.

1835
01:49:33,082 --> 01:49:35,344
- Right.
- Wasn't easy.

1836
01:49:35,344 --> 01:49:37,866
I might have called once and hung up.

1837
01:49:37,866 --> 01:49:40,388
- No. No.
- From a private number.

1838
01:49:41,214 --> 01:49:42,258
No.

1839
01:49:43,085 --> 01:49:44,215
Maybe.

1840
01:49:44,215 --> 01:49:46,607
Peter!
Nice job, Bretter.

1841
01:49:46,607 --> 01:49:47,869
Well, you should probably go back.

1842
01:49:47,869 --> 01:49:50,087
Would you like to hang out
while you're here?

1843
01:49:50,087 --> 01:49:52,565
- Maybe we could go to dinner or...
- Yeah.

1844
01:49:52,565 --> 01:49:54,957
- Still have my number?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll call you.

1845
01:49:54,957 --> 01:49:57,698
- Go.
- Yeah, I should do that.

1846
01:49:57,698 --> 01:49:59,567
Yeah, yeah. Go mingle.

1847
01:50:03,742 --> 01:50:04,960
Hey, Peter!
Hey, Bretter!

1848
01:50:04,960 --> 01:50:06,743
Come over here and meet my mom!

1849
01:50:06,743 --> 01:50:09,440
- Go, go.
- Off I go.

1850
01:50:09,440 --> 01:50:11,223
- Hey, Peter.
- Nice job, Bretter.

1851
01:50:11,223 --> 01:50:13,224
The play was sick, man. Good work.

1852
01:50:13,224 --> 01:50:15,528
- Nice job.
- Good job, man. That was awesome.

1853
01:50:15,528 --> 01:50:16,659
So cool!

1854
01:50:16,659 --> 01:50:18,747
Peter, congratulations.

1855
01:50:18,747 --> 01:50:22,269
I just wanted to say thank you.
I had such a great time tonight.

1856
01:50:22,269 --> 01:50:24,792
Oh, good. You know what?
I'm gonna change out of this unitard,

1857
01:50:24,792 --> 01:50:26,662
- 'cause I'm getting a chafe. Okay.
- Enough said.

1858
01:50:26,662 --> 01:50:28,750
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

1859
01:50:54,714 --> 01:50:55,844
Hey, Peter?

1860
01:50:59,192 --> 01:51:02,628
I was just calling you.

1861
01:51:07,978 --> 01:51:10,152
- Wow.
- Oh, Peter.

1862
01:51:10,978 --> 01:51:13,892
- I'm sorry.
- Stop laughing.

1863
01:51:15,066 --> 01:51:17,240
Can you please stop laughing?

1864
01:51:19,416 --> 01:51:20,894
I missed you.

1865
01:51:21,938 --> 01:51:23,068
I just...

1866
01:51:23,068 --> 01:51:27,678
You know, I actually wanted to tell you
that I've been thinking so much about...

1867
01:52:18,257 --> 01:52:22,302
<i>NARRATOR: This fall, Sarah Marshall is back
in a brand-new role. </i>

1868
01:52:22,302 --> 01:52:26,173
Your wife had no enemies
that you're aware of.

1869
01:52:26,173 --> 01:52:28,869
<i>Get ready for the most daring show
on television. </i>

1870
01:52:28,869 --> 01:52:32,305
- Just came home, and she was lying there.
- Right.

1871
01:52:32,305 --> 01:52:35,567
<i>In a world
where you don't know who to trust. </i>

1872
01:52:39,090 --> 01:52:42,003
Charlie, who's Franco Marconi?

1873
01:52:42,003 --> 01:52:45,221
- No. No.
- Gun, gun, gun, gun. Drop it, drop it.

1874
01:52:45,221 --> 01:52:47,440
<i>Go with your animal instincts. </i>

1875
01:52:47,440 --> 01:52:48,875
<i></i>

1876
01:52:51,615 --> 01:52:54,919
- How did you know?
- She's an animal psychic.

1877
01:52:55,963 --> 01:52:59,226
<i>Sarah Marshall returns on Animal Instincts. </i>

1878
01:53:00,052 --> 01:53:01,400
Life's a bitch.

1879
01:53:01,400 --> 01:53:03,053
And where you're going,
that's exactly what you'll be.