[ Boy Narrating ] It was Freak told me about King Arthur--
how he got this round table,
and how he got the bravest knights in the whole world...
to sit at that table.
"We will be brothers," said King Arthur.
"And we will fight for all those who ask for help.
"We will be gentle to the weak,
but terrible to the wicked."
It was Freak told me about King Arthur.
It was Freak told me everything.
I live with my grandparents-- my mother's people.
I call them Gram and Grim.
I saw a painting in a book once. Must be famous.
This old dude and his wife standing in front of a farmhouse or somethin'.
This dude's holding a pitchfork, and he looks like he never smiles.
And his wife don't look too much happier.
That's Gram and Grim.
'Course, there's a good reason they look like that all the time:
They got stuck with me.
[ School Bell Ringing ] [ Chattering ]
When you're in the seventh grade and you look like Godzilla,
[ Chattering, Shouting ] you're gonna get the looks, and you're gonna get the whispers.
Sometimes it seemed like the whole world...
had just seen me on America's Most Wanted.
Get the hell off there ! Go on ! Come on ! Get away !
[ Homeless Man ] This is my friend ! He's staying in the guest bedroom.
Leave him alone. He doesn't like to be disturbed !
Look who's at the bus stop.
[ Boy ] The Doghouse Boys liked to make trouble any way they could.
Get out of here, you little prick !
[ Boy Narrating ] Their leader was Blade,
whose claim to fame was three months in juvey hall.
Okay. Let's go ! Go, go !
[ Boy ] Yeah ! We're on !
Here's a nice place to sit.
[ Boy ] Hey, check it out.
It's the missing link with headphones, uh ?
How do you fail the seventh grade twice in a row, uh ?
You gotta try pretty hard to do that, uh ?
[ All Chanting ] Killer Kane, Killer Kane,
had a son who got no brain !
Killer Kane, Killer-- Stop, stop.
People look at you and laugh, or they run the other way.
You got no friends. You got nobody.
You're a freak of nature, dude.
And we wanna be your friends.
Yeah, we could use some muscle like you.
I bet you could do some damage.
- Just like your big bad dad. - [ Boys ] Oh !
[ Bell Dings ]
Killer Kane, Killer Kane,
had a son who got no brain !
[ Boys Chanting ] Killer Kane, Killer Kane,
had a son who got no brain.
Killer Kane, Killer Kane,
had a son who got no brain.
[ Boy Narrating ] There's a place I go in my head sometimes.
It's cool and dim in there,
and you float like a cloud.
No, you are a cloud--
the kind you see in the sky on a windy day.
You don't have to think about anything.
You're nothin'.
You're nobody.
[ Gram ] Well, I have to go to the market anyway.
I see that Cooper's has pot roast on special.
$1.49 a pound.
Did you notice we have new neighbors ?
They moved up here from St. Louis.
Her name's Gwen Dillon.
She'd be just about your mother's age.
You know, what I heard is,
her son has been in some kind of special hospital down in St. Louis.
The good Lord gives women the cross to bear.
Would the good Lord get you to bring me a cup of coffee ?
[ Boy Narrating ] It was Freak told me about King Arthur.
It was Freak told me everything.
See, I never had a brain...
till Freak came along and let me borrow his for a while.
Kevin, your room's still a pile of boxes.
Do you want me to help you unpack the books ?
No, Mom. It's okay. I can do it myself.
You have my word, and my word is my bond.
- What do you have there ? - It's an ornithopter.
Trying to take advantage of what looks like ideal flight conditions this evening.
Say that again.
An ornithopter is defined as an experimental device...
propelled by flapping wings.
That's a big word for a mechanical bird.
Congratulations, Mrs. Dillon.
It was a tough delivery, but you've given birth to a healthy seven-pound dictionary.
You must be very proud.
[ Muttering ]
Hey !
What's the matter ? Never seen a robot before ?
All right. Let's pick it up, ladies.
Use the back court. Hey, you too, Kane !
Or do I have to translate it to Neanderthal for you ?
Come on ! Line it up, boys.
Line it up, line it up.
What do you got, a piano tied to your leg ? Move it !
Hustle it ! Hustle it, ladies.
Hey, check out the March of Dimes.
Fellas, I think it's time for bowling for midgets.
[ Boy ] Our defending champion, Blade Fowler,
is bowling for the Corvette.
Yes ! Aw, shucks !
[ Coach ] All right. Hold it ! Hold it !
Who's responsible for this ?
It was Kane, Mr. Sacker, sir.
Oh, yes. Most amusing.
Shall we all go out and rile up a Seeing Eye dog now ?
Kane, you got yourself a detention for the week.
Now help that boy up.
Kane, are you buckin' for two weeks ?
[ Boy Narrating ] Weekends generally meant two things:
One was helping Grim patch up the place.
The other was L.D.-- reading class.
That stands for learning disabled,
which was a nice way of saying "reading for dummies,"
like me.
Your tutor'll be right along, Max.
I'm Kevin Dillon. I'll be your student reading tutor.
Hi, Kevin. My name is--
- Max. - He talks.
- You're a tutor ? - Yeah, in between basketball seasons.
Did you bring a book ?
I don't have no book.
Don't have a book.
How do you expect to read without a book ?
Read this.
Go on. Read it.
First you have to open it.
Chapter one. Now it's your turn.
"In... the... old... days,
"as... it... is... told,
"there... was... a... king...
"in... Brit--
Brit--" Here.
Close your eyes.
"There was a king in Britain...
"named Uther Pendragon.
"He was a good king and mighty,
"and much of his strength he owed to his chief counselor, Merlin,
"for Merlin was an enchanter...
"who could read the stars...
"and hold discourse with the fairy world.
"Merlin knew the secrets of nature and the hearts of men.
To him the future was as clear as the past."
See anything ?
Every word is part of a picture.
Every sentence is a picture.
All you do is let your imagination connect them together.
If you have an imagination, that is.
Read chapter one by tomorrow.
Wait. I can't.
Can't ? No, no. You will.
If you want to make it to the eighth grade, that is.
Or if not, you can always go to one of those special schools...
and sit around with a bunch of kids who can't even say their own names.
Get the picture now ?
It was Blade...
who threw the basketball at you.
Not me.
So you let those punks make a chump out of you, uh ? What's the matter with you ?
I don't like to cause trouble.
Oh, so you're a pacifist.
A what ? A pacifist.
Pass on the fist. Get it ?
Right. It's not my best material.
[ Max Narrating ] I didn't read the first chapter by tomorrow or the next day...
or the day after that,
but Freak was patient.
He told me dinosaurs had brains the size of walnuts,
and they ruled the Earth for 60 million years,
so I shouldn't feel bad.
[ Max ] "Sir Ector called to Arthur...
"and quest-questioned him,
"and Arthur said,
'I drew... the sword... from the anthill.'"
Anvil.
It's just a big stone.
Anvil. Not bad.
You made it to chapter two... this century.
Coming up next: Sir Lancelot and the fair Guinevere.
Violence and sex.
How'd you like to earn a gold crown ?
Run that by me again. A gold crown.
Roughly five bucks,
taking into account inflation since 900 A.D.
Five bucks ? For what ?
For taking me to the fairgrounds next Saturday...
to see the fireworks.
It's the Riverfest. My mom doesn't like fireworks.
She doesn't like crowds. She never lets me go anywhere by myself.
She thinks I'll get trampled or something.
But if I go with someone as big as you, I think I could convince her.
Look, I don't know anybody else. Do you want five bucks or not ?
Do you think it's easy for me ?
Sometimes I think my mom would like me to stay at home all the time in a wheelchair...
with a tube down my throat.
She's always worried, and I feel sorry for her.
I bet your mom doesn't have to worry about you much, huh ? My mom's in heaven.
Want a corn dog ? I'll pass on the triple bypass.
[ Train Whistle Blowing ]
[ Chattering ]
Well, well, if it isn't Frankenstein and Igor.
Tell me, is the freak show before or after the fireworks ?
- Just forget about it. - At least I know the dwarf man can talk.
Can't you, dwarf ? Why don't you cretins plug it up ?
You wanna say that again, you little freak ? Which part ?
Why don't we start with cretin ?
C-r-e-t-i-n.
Look it up in the dictionary. You'll find your mug shot. Come on !
Cretin ! Hey, hey ! Back off ! Hey ! You're not get-- Hey, hey !
Not here ! You're not gonna have-- Back off !
What ? What'd I do ?
Big mistake, big mistake. You can take 'em, though, right ?
Are you kidding ? You just don't mess with Blade and the Doghouse Boys.
So you mean you couldn't take 'em, and I was givin' 'em lip.
That's about the size of it. Oh, my God.
[ Man Over P.A. ] Ladies and gentlemen,
please move forward as much as you can,
and please enjoy tonight Cincinnati's...
45th Riverfest fireworks.
[ Cheering ]
Hey, down in front !
I said, down in front !
[ Max Narrating ] And that's how it started.
He didn't ask me,
but I know all he can see are feet and knees.
And so I just sort of reached down without thinkin'.
Hey, what are you doing ?
Whoa ! Yeah ! Whoa !
All right !
I'd seen fireworks before, but that night...
they looked like the most brightest,
beautiful things in the whole world.
'Course Freak had his own way of puttin' it.
Yeah ! All right !
Copper !
Sodium nitrate !
Magnesium !
Ho-ho !
Yeah ! Whoo !
[ Man ] Hey ! Stop, uh ?
Amazing perspective from up here.
It's just about as tall as I'd like to be.
Uh-oh. Cretins at 10:00. What ?
Hey, you touch me ag-- Check it out ! The freak !
Hang right. Damn. Two more at 2:00.
They've locked onto us. Go left. Left.
Wait. Steady, steady.
[ Max Narrating ] That's how it started, all right.
Only at first, it seemed like that's how it might end.
But a funny thing happened.
I felt Freak's foot hit my side.
Go, go !
And it was like, at that moment he became my brain,
and I became his feet.
How did he do that ? Go, go, go !
Here you go ! Have a balloon ! Ow ! Oh !
Hurry up ! They're gaining on us ! There's a train coming.
Don't worry. We can beat it.
[ Whistle Blowing ]
Damn !
No, it's all right. It's all right. We'll get 'em.
Go straight. Are you crazy ?
This is all your fault. If you hadn't opened your big mouth !
I don't know how someone as small as you could have a mouth so big !
And I don't know how someone as big as you could be such a wuss !
Look at you. You're built like the Terminator.
I'd trade places with you any day.
I say we got about five seconds till we get messed with real good.
Now it's time for the freak show. [ All ] Yeah !
Straight. Trust me.
- That's cold. - [ Chattering ]
[ Boy ] Go get 'em. Keep going.
Go get 'em. [ Chattering Continues ]
Go, yeah ! All right, man.
Just, just keep going. Come on, come on. Go, go !
Better start going faster.
Keep going ! [ Grunts ]
I can't ! I'm stuck in the mud !
Well, then kiss your butt good-bye.
Go back, man ! Go get 'em !
Max ! Max, get up ! [ Grunts ] I'm stuck !
The mud-- The mud's too thick.
Oh, oh. You all right ?
- How'd they get through the mud ? - Go on ! Keep going !
Help me, you assholes !
Just wait. Go ! Keep going !
My blade ! My blade !
[ Chattering ] [ Sirens Wailing ]
Hey, you kids. Stay right there now. Hold it. Right there.
Hey, hey ! I didn't do nothing !
Hey, hey !
Yes.
Oh, Lord.
This is what I've been afraid of. Just like his daddy.
Hush up ! Just hush up !
- Max ! - Mr. and Mrs. Pinneman.
I'm okay. Just give him this blanket. Okay. I'll be right back.
You have a brave young man here.
- Hi. Hello. - Hello. Hello.
Your grandson saved my boy's life.
Stay warm, Max. Good night.
[ Grim ] What happened ? Had some trouble at the fairgrounds this evening.
Local punks. We got a lid on it.
Good night now.
Are you all right ? I'm okay.
[ Grim ] Get him in here. Old people.
You gotta reassure 'em.
I'm gonna get you some orange juice.
No. What this man needs is a cup of coffee.
Real coffee.
There ya go.
[ Grim ] Um-- [ Clears Throat ]
I just wanna tell ya, uh, what you done, um,
was good,
helpin' that crippled boy.
Real good.
I'm proud of ya.
Thank you, sir.
Rise and shine !
Come on ! Wake up !
Sleeping destroys brain cells.
Come on. The day is new. There are fair maidens to rescue and dragons to slay.
Get your lazy butt up.
I'm not going anywhere with you. You almost got me killed last night.
A knight of the realm fears not death.
So they keep you in the dungeon. [ Scoffs ]
Look, take it back. I don't have no friends,
and I don't need no friends.
Don't think of it as a friendship.
Think of it as a partnership.
You need a brain, and I need legs.
And the wizard of Oz doesn't live in South Cincinnati.
* Walkin' this high road
* Like warriors from an olden time *
* A curse on this land from the days far behind us *
* Dragons we've slain and rescued many maidens fair *
* No man ever dared break our stride *
* Or the brotherhood that binds us *
* When the broken are strong *
* When the beaten are proud
* When the twisted can stand *
* When the silenced are loud
* When the haunted are turned *
* When the tortured are seen *
* When the blindest can stare *
* When no poison remains
* When the voiceless can sing
* When the shackled can run
* And the downtrodden man holds his face to the sun *
* We'll be walkin' high above the world *
* Legend will say Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey **
[ Dings ]
Morning, Mr. Hampton.
Good morning, Max.
[ Man ] Where is it ? It was here this morning. [ Woman Groaning ]
Where is it ? Is it in this bag ?
It's in the bag, isn't it ? It is ! Oh! Stop it !
Hey, take it outside ! You're hurting me !
[ Man ] You think I'm hurting you now ?
A knight proves his worthiness by his deeds.
So where is it ? Where is it ?
You think it hurts now ? You think it hurts now ? [ Whimpering ]
Do ya ? Do ya ? Well, come on !
Unhand her, knave.
- You say somethin' ? - I said--
Get your filthy hands off of her !
[ Neighing ]
Thank you.
[ Bell Dings ]
It's on the house.
Did you guys have lunch today ?
Indeed, in the kingdom of Baby Ruth.
Yeah, as I suspected.
You wanna take some of that home with you ?
Methinks his name is Sir Eats-A-Lot.
I'm sorry. It's just Gram never cooks like this.
Well, I'll take that as a compliment. Yes, ma'am.
You slow down, Kevin.
You heard me. Come on.
I'm fine. I'm okay. Here, take some water.
[ Gwen ] Okay. Okay.
What does the fair Guinevere have for dessert ?
Well, there's chocolate pudding if Merlin agrees to do the dishes.
Dishes ? Dishes.
- But knights don't do dishes. - In this castle they do.
Sorry. It was packed.
Popular Science ! Popular. You're a popular guy.
Got it ? Yeah.
[ Hooting, Yelling ]
Lock your door.
- Oh ! - Hey !
[ Sirens Wailing ]
[ Coughing ] Max.
Max. Max.
[ Coughing ] Wake up. Wake up !
[ Sighs ] What time is it ?
A band of highwaymen ambushed the Queen of Saxony on the North Road.
They stole her chest. No pun intended. But I know where they hid it.
Here. Put this on.
[ Squealing ]
It's the treasure, cleverly concealed in the slime of dragons.
It's a woman's purse, and it's covered with crap.
[ Chuckling ] And it's our duty as the knights of the realm,
to return it to its rightful owner.
And how are we gonna do that ?
Voila. A rope.
Dude, you've lost it.
Funny. That's the same thing they told Sir Isaac Newton.
Here. Tie the end of that to the grate.
- Who the heck is Isaac Newton ? - Oh, just some British nerd who said...
if a fire escape exerts a force on a sewer grate,
the sewer grate exerts an equal and opposite force...
on a fire escape.
Now all you have to do is descend...
and retrieve the treasure.
Me ? How come I always end up knee deep in crap ?
Just think of it as a close encounter of the turd kind.
I'll hold the torch.
I really don't like rats.
Well, somewhere down there a rat is saying, "I really don't like Max."
[ Rats Squealing ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Clinking ]
Hey !
Sorry. Thought I heard someone.
[ Gasps ]
Not bad for the Queen of Saxony.
[ Whistles ]
[ Motor Revving ]
Hey, you know. I thought Halloween was next week, uh ?
[ All Laughing ]
There's no millpond between you and me now. Is there, big guy ?
Just tell the little freak man to give up the purse.
Just give it to him.
No. [ Boy ] Oh !
What's the problem ?
Give it to him ! This isn't a game. Just give him the purse.
A knight fights for what is good and right.
This is no time for that knight crap ! Just give him the purse !
Hey, punk.
Aaah !
[ Yelling ]
- What ? - En garde.
- [ Yelling ] - Okay, Maxy boy. Just put it down.
- Hey, man, don't throw that ! - [ Yelling Continues ]
- That was awesome. - Let's get out of here.
No, that was more than awesome. It was mythical.
It was simply perfection.
Yeah, well, we look like a couple of freaks in these butt-stupid clothes.
That's what we are-- a couple of freaks.
Loretta Lee. 240 Crescent Heights. Apartment 103.
[ Kevin ] This is the place, all right. Yeah ?
[ Max ] Well, it looks like the Queen of Saxony just fired her decorator.
[ Knocking ]
She ain't home.
When you're on a quest, you see it through to the end.
If she ain't home, she ain't home.
Loretta Lee ?
Iggy,
is the circus in town ? [ Laughing ]
Believe this is yours. Have a nice day.
Just wait here a second, boys. Wait a minute !
Jesus Christ ! You just scared me half to death.
Wait a minute.
- I know you. - No, you don't. We were just leaving.
Sure as hell, I know you. Iggy !
Come see who's here.
Hang on now. What's your hurry, little fella ?
You're drunk, lady.
What the hell are you hollerin'-- Ain't he the spittin' image ?
What are they doin' here ? They just came to return my purse.
And there ain't nothin' missin'. If that ain't gentlemanly, I don't know what is.
Name.
- Name ! - That won't be necessary. We were just leaving.
Max Kane.
- Kenny Kane's boy. What did I tell you ? - Shut up, Loretta.
Kenny Kane's boy, all growed up.
My, oh, my, how time flies.
Get away from him. I knew you when you were just a young thing.
You got your picture in the paper. Woman, you're drunk.
Yes, I believe I am.
Oh, you're crazy as a polecat.
You know, Iggy and your daddy, they did some time together up there in Langford.
They go way back. Isn't that right, Iggy ?
- We got, we gotta-- - I've got a good idea.
I think y'all deserve a reward.
Poor thing.
You couldn't speak, could you ?
What did the papers call you ?
"Mute Boy." That's what it was.
Poor little Mute Boy all alone up there on the witness stand.
[ Yelling ]
Wait ! Max !
Hey, Max !
Stay away ! Just stay away from me !
- Wait, damn it ! - I said stay away !
Nothin' but trouble's what you've been.
We almost had a hundred bucks there.
My life was fine before you and your stupid quests.
Bunch of bull.
My father was a magician.
At least that's what my mom says.
He heard the words "birth defect," and he disappeared.
But I don't really care, you know.
'Cause I don't even know who my father is.
I just know that's not who I am.
And that's not who you are either.
A knight proves his worthiness through his deeds.
This is the most beautiful place I've ever been.
If you think hard enough, you can put yourself in their armor.
Lancelot the Brave.
Tristan the Strong.
Galahad the Pure-Hearted.
With this Excalibur,
in the name of God,
Saint Michael and Saint George,
I hereby knight us... Freak.
Freak ?
Freak...
the Mighty.
[ Max Narrating ] From that day, Freak never asked me nothin' about my father,
and I never asked him nothin' about his.
'Cause that's not who we were.
[ Kids Laughing ]
Hey, look ! It's alive ! It's alive !
[ Mr. Sacker ] Bolton. Sir.
Fowler. Yeah.
Elwood. Sir.
- Kane. - Sir.
Dillon ?
Sir. [ Boys Laughing ]
Miss Dillon,
school district policy prohibits any child...
with a serious physical or medical handicap...
from participating in school athletic activities.
Mrs. Addison-- It's a liability matter.
Now I'm sure you understand that.
You see, my son Kevin--
he's been made fun of and called names his whole life.
And if you've been made fun of your whole life, you find another place to live.
And he's found that place up here.
Kevin lives in this world of books...
and words and ideas.
Things I don't even understand.
But I understand this:
Kevin would trade it all for a chance to be normal--
to have a friend,
to do the things that normal kids do every day.
Max Kane has given him that chance.
Well, I'm not gonna let that be taken away from my boy.
Oh, if you wanna kill yourself in gym class, Kevin Dillon,
don't expect me to cry for you.
Yes !
[ Shouting ]
[ Mr. Sacker ] All right. Move it ! Move it ! Move it !
Come on ! Come on ! That's it ! That's it !
Come on ! Go, go ! [ Shouting ]
Boo !
[ Boy ] Freak ! Freak ! Freak ! Freak ! Freak !
[ Kids Chanting ] Freak ! Freak ! Freak ! Freak ! Freak !
Freak ! Freak the Mighty ! Freak the Mighty !
Freak the Mighty ! Freak the Mighty !
[ Chanting Continues ]
[ Cheering ]
We shall yield not to you...
or any man.
Miss Addison, you wanted to see me ?
Come in, Max.
Sit down.
Is something wrong, ma'am ? Did Gram call or--
No, Max. Your grandparents are fine.
We've been notified by the parole board.
Your father's been granted a parole.
No ! No ! Max.
- No ! No ! - Listen to me, Max. Listen to me !
He can't come near you, all right ?
No. I wanna make that very clear to you, Max.
No ! No ! Max !
Shh ! [ Max ] No ! I don't wanna hear it ! No !
No !
Elt, you get that gun out of this house.
Don't start with me, Susan.
He serves nine years out of thirty,
and they let him loose, just as free as you and me.
That's called justice. And don't give a damn for the victims.
You heard the lawyers same as me.
If he comes within five miles of Max or us or,
or the house or anything, they're gonna grab him and put him right back in jail.
The law-- You believe the damn lawyers ?
It's because of the lawyers that he's out walkin' around right now.
That's what's wrong with this country-- lawyers.
They'll make you believe any damn thing as long as they get paid.
Well, I'll tell you what I believe.
If Kenny Kane comes anywhere near my grandson,
or you or my home, he's gonna get a taste of some real justice.
No, you can't. You can't. You're not gonna have any of this.
Don't tell me what to do, woman ! I'm telling you !
Our Annie's gone.
All we have left of her smile--
all we have left of her heart is in that boy down there.
I'm not gonna have hatred comin' into this house and poisonin' it.
I don't know.
How can you eat that slop, Dillon ?
- I'm hungry. - [ Chuckling ]
You're eating too fast.
Excuse me, Mom.
I said you're eating too fast.
What's eatin' you ?
Where does the fair maid Mary get her perm ?
[ Kids Laughing ]
[ Sneezes ]
Hey.
You call this spaghetti ?
What have I done to deserve this disrespect ?
Hi.
I see you are new to our family. I don't like you.
I like you.
Maf-- [ Coughing ]
Help !
Help ! Help ! Somebody help me ! Help ! [ Boy ] He fell down.
[ Machine Beeping ]
Mrs. Dillon.
Yeah ? We need to speak.
Spock.
[ Whispering ] Spock. It's him.
[ Max Narrating ] "We will be brothers," said King Arthur.
"And we will fight for all those who ask for help."
Mrs. Dillon.
Please. [ Clears Throat ]
Kevin is, uh, is out of danger.
Uh, but I'm sure you understand...
the, uh, progressively degenerative nature of Morquio's syndrome.
I'm sure I do.
There was an airway blockage.
Kevin stopped breathing long enough for unoxygenated blood to circulate,
weakening some nerve tissue.
Why don't you just tell me when I can take him home ?
Right.
Uh, Mrs. Dillon, from my examination of Kevin,
I think I can s-- I can say that, uh--
That's a nice hammer. Can you maybe go hammer over there ?
Go hammer over there, okay ?
I think I can say that his, uh, his bone growth has ceased...
while his internal organs are continuing their natural growth.
I am not a counselor, Mrs. Dillon.
This is very hard for me to say,
but I would have to recommend that you start thinking about making some... preparations.
Why don't you tell me how long ?
I'm not an expert on Kevin's disease,
but I would say... maybe a year.
Want somethin' ? No, thank you, ma'am.
Stop "ma'am"-ing me. It makes me nervous when you "ma'am" me all the time.
Yes, ma'am.
I'm just gonna have a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream.
He's gonna be all right. He's gonna be all right.
It's my fault. It's my fault.
He was just eatin' too fast like before. He's gonna be just fine. You'll see.
But I'll tell you somethin'. The next time he tries to eat chop suey that fast,
I'm gonna dump it on his head.
You do that, Max.
Oh, God.
Okay.
[ Max Narrating ] The deal was, Freak had to stay in the hospital for two weeks.
It was the longest two weeks of my life.
Even Mr. Sacker signed it.
I didn't know he could write.
Freak was told it might be a while before he could go back to school.
Also, we had to cut back on quests. Doctor's orders.
But once in a while, we'd sneak out like before.
He'd have good days and bad days.
On the bad days, I'd just never put him down.
Well, here it is. Here's what ?
You see the wing of that closest building ?
Yeah. I want you to swear...
that what you're about to hear, you will tell no one--
a sacred oath upon your good name and honor.
I, Max Kane-- Here do swear--
Here do swear that I will tell no one.
Inside there is a laboratory...
called the Experimental Biogenetic Intervention Unit.
At some near future date, as yet undetermined...
but likely within the next year,
I will enter that lab.
King Arthur wanted to improve his men, so he made them armor-plated.
Today we have biogenetics,
the science of designing replacement parts for the human body.
- You're getting new legs ? - No, I mean a whole new body.
A new body ?
Yeah. Go closer.
I never told you this. I had to keep it a secret.
But every few months I've gone for tests.
They measured me, analyzed blood, metabolic rates.
I've been X-rayed, CAT scanned and sonogrammed.
They're fitting me for a transplant.
I'm going to be the first biogenetically improved human.
Sounds like it's gonna hurt.
Maybe, but so what ?
You can think your way out of anything, even pain.
Sounds too dangerous.
Hey, life is dangerous.
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
[ Children Chanting ] Killer Kane, Killer Kane,
had a son who's got no brain.
Killer Kane, Killer Kane, had a son who's got no brain.
Killer Kane, Killer Kane--
[ Knocking ] Matt ? You okay ?
I'm just like him.
[ Whispering ] Just like him ?
Oh, Lord.
I thought I'd gotten rid of every last picture.
I look in the mirror and I see him.
I hear my voice and I hear his.
It's no use. You are who you are, and nothing else.
"Killer Kane, Killer Kane, had a son who's got no brain."
Listen to me: You are nothing like him !
You will never be like him.
You know why ?
Because you have your mother's heart.
You're my noble knight.
That's what you are.
All right !
[ Banging ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Grunting ]
Not a word, boy. Not a sound.
I came back, like I said.
Shh-shh-shh-shh.
[ Engine Starting ]
Everything changes now, son.
[ Max Narrating ] Once, on TV, this dude hypnotized a lobster.
Maybe you saw it.
He touches a lobster and it freezes.
It can't move.
That's sort of what happened to me.
Like I'm paralyzed and my head is empty...
and nothing matters.
Not Gram and Grim, or Freak,
or the stars in the sky.
They're all just make-believe,
this dream I was having for a long time,
and now I'm awake again, and he's there.
And for some reason I'm thinking this weird thought:
He doesn't need a suit of armor.
Well, let me look at you.
Like lookin' at an old picture of myself.
Christmas Eve ! [ Laughing ]
Christmas Eve !
Them letters I sent you, or them birthday presents and Christmas presents--
I bet you never got a-one of 'em, did ya ?
Oh, they poisoned your mind against me. I know that.
Get down !
Yes, sir, you and me, we're gonna have the time of our lives, boy !
[ Voices On Police Radio, Indistinct ]
Something going on ?
[ Doorbell Rings ]
Good evening, Mrs. Pinneman. What ?
We're here to inform you that Kenneth Kane...
did not report to his parole officer yesterday in Cleveland.
You wait here. He's been missing for 24 hours.
He's considered in violation of his parole.
No. No, that can't happen, no.
We don't want to alarm you, ma'am, but just as a precaution.
He's gone.
Ow !
Voila ! Size 14.
Of course. The Queen of Saxony.
"Iggy...
"and... your daddy...
"did some time together up there in Langford, you know.
They go way back."
I got an old buddy here. He's gonna take care of us.
He owes me a favor.
It ain't much. Old bat that lived here went to visit her sister for the holidays.
[ Tires Screeching ]
Lousy spark plugs !
You wouldn't light out on me, would you ?
- No, sir. - Nope.
That's good... 'cause we gotta talk.
Man to man.
See, this is only a temporary thing, just for one night.
Tomorrow we're gonna get on the road. Just you and me, the way it oughta be.
You know, there's--
there's something you need to know about your daddy.
I never killed nobody.
I loved your mother.
I never harmed her,
not one golden curl on her head.
I swear.
You understand what I'm tellin' you ?
Yes, sir.
All right, then.
We don't need to discuss it no more.
- Whoa ! - [ Tires Screeching ]
Oh, my God !
No !
Kevin ?
[ Groaning ]
Oh, boy.
Steady !
Get out ! Get out of the way ! Move !
Aaaah !
Ow. Ow. Ow !
[ Groans ]
[ Horse Whinnying ]
[ Knocking ]
[ Sighs ]
The only person I want coming through this door is Iggy.
Merry Christmas.
I just thought I'd make you boys a nice Christmas meal.
Oh, my.
He's gonna have a hard time eating like that.
I can feed him if you like.
You just set that tray down right there...
and you get yourself out of here.
Leftover pizza. It's nice, Loretta.
You haven't changed a bit.
My, it's cold in here. Ohh !
It's cold as a witch's tit.
Oh, come on, Kenny.
Can't you be nice ? We had some good times in the old days, didn't we ?
But the old days are over. You and I got nothing to discuss. Come on !
"Thank you for the pizza, Loretta."
Thank you, Loretta. Now come on. Let's go.
Oh, did you tell your daddy about that time you returned my purse ?
What are you talkin' about ?
Oh, well, I guess Iggy just forgot to mention it.
He came by with this crippled kid...
and they returned my purse with $400 still in it.
Hey.
What crippled kid ?
Well, I told Iggy.
I said, "Iggy, you better tell Kenny about this."
- Who is he ? - Just a crippled kid.
Just a crippled kid. Friend of yours ?
I said, "A friend of yours ?"
Yes, he's a friend of mine.
Young maiden, a favor, I beg.
Call the police. Tell 'em to come here.
Do you understand that, boy ? They're gonna be lookin' everywhere for us.
They're gonna talk to everybody,
and they're gonna talk to this crippled kid, and he's gonna remember this place !
Why didn't you tell me you'd been here before ?
- You didn't ask me, sir. - I didn't ask you ?
Now, what are you, some kind of moron ?
Yeah. Uh-huh.
You brought those here to give to him.
Trying to poison my son's mind against me, aren't you ?
Now, Kenny--
I told you to keep your hands off my boy, but you brought your filth in here !
You are the only piece of filth around here, Kenny.
- Yeah ? I'll teach you to-- - Get your paws off of me !
I said-- [ Grunting, Shouting ]
- Let go ! - That's it ! You're seein' red now !
- Let go of her ! - Look away, son.
[ Loretta Choking ] Let go ! Let go of her ! She can't breathe !
She can't breathe !
Shh !
[ Choking Continues ] She can't breathe ! She can't breathe !
Aaah !
You were wearing a black T-shirt with no sleeves.
Y-You carried me back to my room. You put me to bed.
You told me to "shh," that I was dreaming !
Is that any way to talk to your daddy ? But I wasn't dreaming !
I remember, I saw you ! I saw you kill my mom !
Lord, I wish you hadn't said that, boy. Well, I said it !
And you're never gonna stop me from saying it again...
because I've wanted to say it for a long time !
Looks like we got a situation here, huh ? Huh ?
I've come for my brother in arms.
A knight proves his worthiness by his deeds.
You're the crippled kid.
This your partner in crime, this little freak ?
What are you, soft in the head, boy ?
- Guess what I got for Christmas, Mr. Kane. - Well, I don't know.
This squirt gun and a chemistry set. Good old reliable H2SO4.
Sulfuric acid: oily, colorless,
and able to strip the paint off a car in two seconds.
So ask yourself: Am I feelin' lucky today ?
Bull !
Aaah !
In the five-tenths of a second it would take you to execute movement in any direction,
your crotch will look like a nuclear accident.
You little--
Aaaah !
Hold it !
What'd you have in there anyway ?
Just some soap, vinegar and chile pepper.
Worked like a charm, didn't it ? Oh, did you lose this ?
Come on.
We shall yield not to you-- Or any man.
[ Max Narrating ] We had Christmas a week late that year.
By then, Gwen had forgiven Freak,
Killer Kane was back in prison for good,
and we got our pictures in the paper.
[ Chorus ] * Jingle, jingle jingle, jingle *
[ Man ] * Jingle bells, jingle bells
* Jingle all the way
* Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh *
* Oh, jingle bells jingle bells *
* Jingle all the way
* Oh, what fun it is to ride
* In a one-horse open sleigh
* Dashing through the snow
* In a one-horse open sleigh
* O'er the fields we go
* Laughing all the way
[ Chorus ] * Bells on Bobtail ring * Ho-ho-ho
* Making spirits bright
[ Man ] * What fun it is to ride and sing *
* A sleighing song tonight
[ Chorus ] * Jingle bells, jingle bells
* Jingle all the way
* Oh, what fun it is to ride
* In a one-horse open sleigh
* Oh, jingle bells jingle bells **
[ Gram ] Oh, I just love Christmas.
I remember all we ever had for Christmas was an apple core...
and a lump of coal in our stocking, if we were lucky.
Oh, Elton, you never had a lump of coal in your life !
You're right. They were so poor, they couldn't even afford coal.
All they got in their stocking was a little piece of paper with "coal" written on it,
if they were lucky.
[ Gram ] Don't anybody let me have one more bite.
Merry Christmas. Thank you. Merry Christmas.
Best meal I ever had.
You know, the sky's like a photograph from a billion years ago.
Just some old movie they're showin' up there.
Lots of those stars have switched off by now.
We're just seeing the rerun.
Almost forgot.
This is for you.
You don't have to say anything. I know you're overcome with gratitude.
What kind of book is this ? It doesn't say nothin'.
Close your eyes.
Every word is part of a picture.
Every sentence is a picture.
All you do is let your imagination...
connect them together.
If you have an imagination, that is.
He went in his sleep.
No.
It wasn't supposed to happen.
You're supposed to give him a new body !
Stop, you idiots ! He's supposed to get a new biogenetic body !
[ Sobbing ] No ! He was tested, measured !
He told me he'd be the first.
I know. Listen to me.
Listen to me. Kevin knew he wasn't gonna live very long.
He knew it was just a matter of time.
You see, what happened was...
his heart just got too big for his body.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
You go home.
Go home.
Can I help you, son ?
[ Max Narrating ] There's a place I go in my head sometimes.
It's cool and dim in there,
and you float like a cloud.
No, you are a cloud,
the kind you see in the sky on a windy day.
You don't have to think about anything.
You're nothin'. You're nobody.
I stayed in the down-under for days and days...
and kept the door closed,
which is why I missed the funeral and Kevin's mom moving away.
Grim threatened to unscrew my door,
but he never did.
He just kept saying I should come out for Gram's sake.
And sometimes she'd come down and say I should come out for Grim's sake.
It comes off in a couple of weeks.
Whatcha been doin' these days ?
Nothin'.
Nothin's a drag, kid.
Think about it.
So I thought about it.
Matter of fact, I started thinkin' real hard.
Can anyone tell me why Miss Havisham wanted Pip to fall in love with Estella ?
Lisa, you've had your turn.
Max ?
Well--
I think it's because...
she wanted Estella...
to break Pip's heart,
just like her heart had been broken long ago.
Thank you, Max.
[ Max Narrating ] And then... I started connecting...
all these things I was thinking about,
and I had a crazy thought.
Since Freak showed me I could read a book,
maybe I could write one too.
Then I thought to myself,
"Who you kiddin', Max Kane ? You got no brain."
So I wrote that down...
and then kept on goin'.
Until it was spring again...
and I reached my last page.
Now, only this dumb writer could get writer's block...
on his last page.
You see, I just didn't know how to end it.
[ Reading Aloud ]
"That he shall come again,
"that there is written this verse upon his tomb...
which lies at the bottom of the lake:"
[ Continues Reading Aloud ]
"Once and future king."
Now, that could either mean...
that he will come again,
or-- I had a better idea.
That when someone so great once was,
then someone so great will always be.
And by the time we get here--
which I guess should be the end--
you're gonna know the story of Freak the Mighty,
who slayed dragons, saved maidens,
and walked high above the world.