1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,878
[♪ acoustic guitar playing]
2
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:10,760
[tab clicks]
3
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:13,764
[♪ "Yahoos and Triangles"
by The Refreshments playing]
4
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,071
♪
5
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,036
[♪ theme song concludes]
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{\an8}- [Dale slurping]
- Yep.
7
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,705
{\an8}- [Boomhauer slurping]
- Yep.
8
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,624
{\an8}- Yup.
- [phone buzzing]
9
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:42,708
{\an8}[phone clicks]
10
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,418
{\an8}Hello?
11
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,588
Okay, slow down.
It sounds like you're drunk.
12
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,881
Oh, you are drunk.
13
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,759
{\an8}Do you have a designated driver?
14
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,053
{\an8}Oh, you are the designated driver.
15
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:57,640
{\an8}Okay, just text me the address
and I'll be right there.
16
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,308
{\an8}Who was that? Peggy?
17
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,935
{\an8}Peggy's in our house.
18
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:03,729
{\an8}Why would she call me
to be a designated driver?
19
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,982
{\an8}I don't know, she's your wife.
20
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:08,067
- It was Joe Jack.
- Who?
21
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,237
{\an8}You remember.
Joe Jack, from Strickland Propane.
22
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,030
{\an8}Talkin' 'bout ol' Booda Sack,
and Enrique,
23
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,157
{\an8}and then you got 'em
dang ol' Joe Jack, man, who...
24
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,409
[impersonating]
"Hey, Honey."
25
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,244
{\an8}[elongated] Oh!
26
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,037
{\an8}Joe Jack.
27
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,999
{\an8}I haven't seen
or heard from him in years.
28
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{\an8}- It's weird that he called me.
- Well, it's not weird to me, Hank.
29
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,006
You're the first one
I'd call if I was drunk.
30
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,632
- Hank?
- Yeah?
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00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:32,800
I'm drunk.
32
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,678
{\an8}[groans]
I gotta go pick up Joe Jack.
33
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:38,306
{\an8}I'll drive ya, Hank!
We need more beer!
34
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:39,599
{\an8}[Hank Hill] No, Bill.
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{\an8}[♪ upbeat country music playing]
36
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,855
Joe Jack... fellas...
what's going on?
37
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Sorry I had to bring you here
under false pretenses, Honey.
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00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,486
We're all drunk, Hank!
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00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,197
We're depressed about what's goin' on
at Strickland Propane.
40
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:58,869
But how can you be depressed
when you work with propane?
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00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,871
Both of ya better sit down, Honey.
42
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:04,749
You really are plastered, Joe Jack.
43
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:09,128
Hank, Strickland is fixing to go under.
44
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,465
Got dangit.
How could Buck let this happen?
45
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,216
Well, that's why we called you.
46
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,470
Can you talk to Buck?
You're the only person he'll listen to.
47
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,972
We know this is a big ask,
48
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:24,185
considerin' how everything
went down when you... you know.
49
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,479
[♪ dramatic guitar strumming]
50
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,480
Fellas, it's okay.
51
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,274
Buck and I have had dealings
since I've been back.
52
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,569
We just have an unspoken agreement
to bury our feelings
53
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,489
and to never mention... that day.
54
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,074
[♪ mysterious music plays]
55
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:41,328
Uh, can you excuse me for a second?
I need to use the restroom.
56
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,788
What did I tell you?
57
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:47,041
Buy him a drink first,
and then mention that day.
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00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,417
Sorry, Honeys.
59
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,004
- [♪ light country music playing in bar]
- [patrons chattering]
60
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Excuse me, can I borrow a cigarette?
61
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,511
Borrow?
You mean bum?
62
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,180
No, maybe.
See, I'm not a smoker,
63
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,641
but all of a sudden,
I feel like havin' a cigarette.
64
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:06,435
Careful.
That's how I got started.
65
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,563
And ten years later,
I have a porn addiction.
66
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,984
I don't think that has anything
to do with-- never mind.
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[lighter clicks]
68
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[inhales sharply]
69
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,697
[exhaling loudly]
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00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,158
[♪ gentle guitar music playing]
71
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[grill sizzling]
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00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,870
You taste the meat, but not the heat.
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00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,873
That's the Strickland guarantee.
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00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,376
Hey, everybody!
75
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,129
Hank just sold his 2,000th grill!
76
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,255
- Yeah!
- Woo-hoo.
77
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,548
- Attaboy, Hank.
- Slam dunk!
78
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:39,593
Thanks, but the Vogner
Char-King Imperial sells itself.
79
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,221
There's no need to make a fuss.
80
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,723
What am I supposed to do with this?!
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00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,852
Yep, four of a kind
beats three of a kind.
82
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,603
Alright, bye.
Sorry!
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00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:52,606
That was my bastard son, Ray Roy.
84
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,192
He's gettin' ready
for a business meetin'.
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00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,611
Sounds like you gave him
good advice, sir.
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00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:58,696
You wanted to see me?
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00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:01,699
Hank, you and I go way back.
88
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,952
Now, I could tell the moment
you measured my inseam
89
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,329
five times at the Jean Barn
90
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,916
that your attention to detail
made you a perfect fit
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00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,710
for the propane bid-ness.
92
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:16,130
Can't thank you enough
for givin' me the opportunity, sir.
93
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,965
It's been a wild ride.
94
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,842
It certainly has, ol' top.
95
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:23,637
That's why I think it's time
to let someone else
96
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,891
take over the reins
of Strickland Propane.
97
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:30,686
So, in a couple of days,
I'm gonna make an announcement.
98
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:34,190
I just wanted you to know first.
99
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,691
Well, I'm honored, sir.
100
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:39,195
But I gotta say,
it's not gonna be the same without you.
101
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,947
Save your butt-smoochin'
for the announcement.
102
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,073
Yes, sir.
103
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,283
[softly] And thank you.
104
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,244
You know ol' Buck
will always take care of ya.
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00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:50,206
- I know, sir.
- [phone ringing]
106
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Hello?
107
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:56,670
No, Ray Roy, those shapes
on the cards is diamonds!
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♪
109
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- [♪ upbeat guitar music plays]
- [Peggy gasps]
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You are going to be a manager?!
111
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,722
That means I will be the first lady
of Strickland Propane.
112
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:10,309
Well, it's not official yet.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
113
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:14,772
Although, I may splurge and buy myself
a new pair of work jeans.
114
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,942
Oh, Hank,
I was so excited by your news,
115
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:21,237
that I almost forgot to tell you
not to kill Bobby.
116
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,405
- Why would I kill Bobby?
- [Bobby Hill] Hey, Dad.
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00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,990
Can I borrow the truck?
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00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,536
Only if you're driving
directly to the barbershop
119
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:29,995
to shave your head.
120
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,580
Mom! Ugh!
121
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,499
You said you'd talk to him first!
122
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,376
Peggy, you're okay with this?
123
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:38,963
He is a 16-year-old.
He is expressing himself.
124
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:43,884
When I was 16, we expressed ourselves
by listening to our parents.
125
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,221
Well, say goodbye to any chance
of getting a summer job.
126
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:50,808
No one's gonna wanna hire someone
who looks like a pilot light.
127
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:54,645
You know who has blue hair
and doesn't have a problem making money?
128
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,064
Jungkook from BTS!
129
00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:01,235
If Joan-Cook from PBS jumped off
a bridge, would you follow her?
130
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,195
Mom! Ugh!
131
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,322
That boy will never be right.
132
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,241
[Buck Strickland]
Okay, listen up.
133
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,370
Propane is a young man's game.
134
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:14,123
And what with this
Me Too movement in California,
135
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:18,502
I think it's the right time for me
to take a step back.
136
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,754
- [all whispering]
- We know it's Hank.
137
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,048
Ray Roy, get your butt out here.
138
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:27,136
Ladies and gents, this is your new
Strickland Propane...
139
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,470
- [♪ dramatic music plays]
- ...manager!
140
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,222
[echoing]
Manager! Manager!
141
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,309
- Thank you, Daddy.
- [employees murmuring]
142
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:37,229
Sir, I thought Ray Roy was running
Strickland North across town.
143
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,148
Well, that went tits up!
144
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,568
But, it's because he didn't have
someone like you, Hank,
145
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,278
to help him run the joint.
146
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,614
But you said you were
gonna take care of me, sir.
147
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,950
I am.
You gonna be Ray Roy's number two.
148
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,286
See, that's what you do best, Hank.
149
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,413
You're a natural lieutenant.
150
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,374
If you weren't here, hell,
I wouldn't trust Ray Roy
151
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,961
to pour piss out of a boot
if the instructions was on the heel!
152
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:04,173
But, sir, I've been here 20 years.
153
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:07,718
I only came in late once,
and that was the day Bobby was born.
154
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:08,886
Exactly!
155
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,722
You're my ace in the hole, Hank,
my linchpin.
156
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:15,017
Yeah! And now you're my linchpin,
whatever that means.
157
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,769
With all due respect, sir,
158
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:20,481
giving the business to him
is like givin' a gun to a monkey,
159
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,358
or-- or worse, a Ray Roy.
160
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,610
Hey, I'm your boss now.
161
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,279
The only thing this "monkey"
will be firing is you,
162
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,656
if you don't watch your step.
163
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,115
- Huh?
- Mm.
164
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:33,452
Well, let me save you the trouble there,
because I quit.
165
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,703
- [Donna hollering]
- [Enrique gasping]
166
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,705
No need to be like that, ol' top.
167
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:40,335
Yeah, just face the facts.
Blood's thicker than propane.
168
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,419
Actually, it's not.
169
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,880
Propane's four-point-two
pounds per gallon,
170
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,090
blood is half that.
171
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,883
- It is?
- No.
172
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,844
Only a monkey or a Ray Roy
would fall for that.
173
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,389
- [♪ somber guitar music playing]
- [door slamming]
174
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,975
It's the end of an era, Honey.
175
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,397
[♪ gentle guitar music playing]
176
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,690
What's goin' on, Mom?
177
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,900
Your father has called a family meeting
178
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:08,445
to announce that he will be running
Strickland Propane as a manager.
179
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,988
You did not hear it from me.
180
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:13,367
- So remember, Bobby, act surprised.
- [screen door opens and closes]
181
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,954
Peggy, Bobby, I quit Strickland Propane.
182
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,664
[fake enthusiasm]
Dad, that's great!
183
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,417
Manager?
I'm so proud of you!
184
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,420
No, Bobby, he said he quit.
185
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,130
Oh. Sorry, Dad.
186
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,965
I was focused on my part.
187
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,175
Can you give it to me again,
from the top?
188
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,177
Hank, what happened?
189
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,680
Buck gave my job to Ray Roy.
190
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,598
Ray Roy?!
Didn't you once say
191
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,643
he used propane to fill balloons
at a children's party?
192
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,936
Uh-huh.
193
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,272
But I don't blame Buck,
I blame myself.
194
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,815
I just saw red.
195
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,026
I heard someone say "I quit,"
196
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,653
and then I realized
that someone was me.
197
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,447
I guess I was in denial
198
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,074
about how much I really
wanted to be manager.
199
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,493
Well, while you figure out
what is next for Hank Hill,
200
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,662
your son and I will pick up the slack.
201
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,290
Bobby, it's time for you
to be man of the house.
202
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,292
What?
There's no need for that.
203
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,461
I've been outta work
for less than an hour.
204
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:09,423
Mom, listen to Dad.
I don't want to be a man.
205
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,593
First thing in the morning,
you are going out to find a job.
206
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,220
It is time for you to nut up, Bobby Hill.
207
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,182
No one needs to "nut up,"
especially Bobby.
208
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:22,770
I have 20 years' experience
in propane and propane accessories.
209
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,314
I'll find a job.
210
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:29,194
Just to clarify,
do I still have to nut up?
211
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,904
[Hank slurping]
212
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,947
Okay, Hank,
you can come work for me
213
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,825
as an assistant exterminator.
214
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:39,828
But fair warning,
I'm a hard-nosed boss
215
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,955
that doesn't tolerate slackers.
216
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:45,709
It's 11:00 a.m., and you're in the alley
drinking beer, Dale.
217
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,963
That's why I desperately need
an assistant, to help me find work.
218
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,924
Thanks, but no thanks.
219
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,051
So, what are you gonna do, Hank?
220
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,762
Well, there's only one
other propane game in town,
221
00:09:56,763 --> 00:10:01,058
and I'm never gonna work for
"the man who shall remain nameless."
222
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,893
- Thatherton!
- [can crunching]
223
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,771
Last time I said his name,
you kicked my butt.
224
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,482
[chuckles]
But apparently, it's a one-way street
225
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,150
when it comes to butt-kickings.
226
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:13,362
I haven't had to apply
for a job in over 20 years.
227
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:16,198
What's the best bond of paper
to print a resume on?
228
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,991
Paper, man? [chuckling]
What are you talkin' 'bout?
229
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,326
You gotta get on ol' LinkedIn, man.
230
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,372
{\an8}Gotta just upload that, um, info, man,
just, and boom.
231
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:28,293
Boomhauer, you set your minimum salary
at $400,000 a year?
232
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,629
Hey, man, talkin' 'bout
I'm dang ol' worth it, man.
233
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,631
[slurping]
234
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,384
[Peggy Hill] We should mention
you received a "Blue Flame of Valor,"
235
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,011
and that you were
"Propane Salesman of the Year"
236
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,555
for three years running.
237
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,057
Peggy, I don't want to come across
as a braggart.
238
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,893
And I wouldn't wanna work
for a company that would hire one.
239
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:48,856
Oh, Hank, everyone knows
the truest sign of humility is bragging.
240
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,315
And I am the humblest.
241
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,319
Done.
And now... we wait.
242
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,779
[clicking keys]
243
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,030
Be patient, Hank.
244
00:10:57,031 --> 00:11:00,450
A job does not suddenly
just walk through the door.
245
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:03,328
Guess who got a job
at Whataburger?
246
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,789
You're lookin' at their new grill cook.
247
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,499
What?
But how could you?
248
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,669
You're-- you're dressed
like a Korean pop dancer.
249
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:14,506
The manager was also a K-pop fan.
He has pink hair.
250
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:19,511
We watched a whole BTS concert
on his laptop during my interview.
251
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,972
- Oh, God.
- I start tonight.
252
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:25,268
Dad, can you give me a lift
to my shift?
253
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,228
[singing]
♪ Workin' nine to five ♪
254
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,564
♪ Easy way to make a livin' ♪
255
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:33,317
♪ And there's somethin', somethin' ♪
256
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,320
- ♪ About givin' ♪
- [screen door opens and closes]
257
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:39,865
I bet he's fired
before the end of his shift.
258
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,410
[♪ upbeat country music playing]
259
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,746
Nothing?
260
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,582
I'd even consider a job in...
[shudders]
261
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,584
...alternative energy.
262
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,794
Hank, we should do
a project together
263
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,088
while you wait for a propane offer!
264
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,257
Maybe even start our own business.
265
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,301
A business?
Like what?
266
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,762
I have always pictured us
opening a school
267
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,513
for magical children.
268
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,390
- You mean gifted?
- Nope.
269
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:09,728
Mom, Dad, I got my first paycheck!
270
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,647
Now, I know you guys
are worried about money,
271
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,982
so I thought I'd help out.
272
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,235
Wait, who said we were
worried about money?
273
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,278
Mr. Souphanousinphone.
274
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,571
And then, he laughed.
275
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,699
Well, he's wrong.
We're not worried about money.
276
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,661
- Yet.
- Dad, no, I insist.
277
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,830
Feel free to use that
to cover the mortgage.
278
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:32,876
And if there's anything left over,
buy yourselves something nice.
279
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,920
Well, that is very sweet, Bobby.
280
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:39,049
But this check would not cover
one night in a Super 8 motel,
281
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,593
or-- or even a regular 8 motel.
282
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:45,055
Yeah, maybe let it grow up some
before you worry about chipping in.
283
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:49,811
Um, I'm the only one
with a job in this house.
284
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,730
[♪ gentle guitar music playing]
285
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,608
[sighs]
286
00:12:58,695 --> 00:12:59,904
[door bell jingling]
287
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,784
Well, well, well,
look who came crawlin' back
288
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,577
lookin' for a job.
289
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,913
Enough small talk, Thatherton.
290
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,498
Are you offerin' me one or not?
291
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,960
Well, I could always use someone
with your experience here.
292
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,212
But before we shake on it,
you gotta give me
293
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,674
all the dirt on Strickland
and how he runs his business.
294
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,552
Finally, we can take Buck down together.
295
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,804
Sorry, M.F., I won't do that.
296
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,642
Even after you quit
and he gave your job to his bastard son?
297
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,478
Dammit.
You have morals, Hank.
298
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,647
But I'll hire you anyway.
299
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,774
I could really use another number two.
300
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,402
What do you mean, another number two?
301
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,613
I'm the number one number two.
Remember that!
302
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:46,533
You'd really be
the number one number two.
303
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,244
I... I got ears!
I heard that!
304
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,955
There can only be one
number one number two.
305
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,751
And that's me!
You're the number two number two!
306
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,543
Hey!
307
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,962
Hanging up the sign is my job!
308
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:02,049
The number one number two
hangs the signs!
309
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,218
♪
310
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:10,098
Okay, before we kill the termites,
we need to understand them.
311
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,477
Lesson one,
the termites' reproduction cycle.
312
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:16,688
After a passionate night
of fertilization--
313
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,482
[sighs] I quit.
314
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,860
Hank, you got a message
on your LinkedIn profile!
315
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,863
You have an interview
for a propane job in Houston.
316
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,783
See, Peggy?
I told you my years of experience
317
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,951
- would speak for itself.
- About that...
318
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,913
Hank, do not get mad,
but I took the liberty
319
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:36,458
of making some slight
adjustments to your profile.
320
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,753
Conversational French?
Hang gliding?
321
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:43,381
And you removed "assistant."
Peggy, they'll think I'm a manager.
322
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:47,302
Hank, I know you are more
than qualified to be a manager.
323
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,012
Now, they know that too.
324
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,974
But the question is, do you know it?
325
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,185
Peggy, I'm off to Houston.
326
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,311
[♪ inspiring music playing]
327
00:14:56,312 --> 00:15:01,691
There goes the best
Dead Bug employee I ever had,
328
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,401
- including myself.
- [termites scurrying]
329
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,238
{\an8}- [♪ gentle music playing]
- [people chattering]
330
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,655
[door opens]
331
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:09,116
Mr. Hill, we're ready for you now.
332
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,118
[with awkward accent]
Merci beaucoup.
333
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,327
[office phones ringing]
334
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,663
[Hank sighs deeply]
335
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,581
[Ladybird panting]
336
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,708
- Leftover hot dogs, Ladybird.
- [chomping]
337
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:22,796
Ladybird and I were so anxious,
we decided to clean out the fridge.
338
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:25,882
I think I found Bobby's
seventh-grade science project.
339
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,093
Or maybe it was just a bowl of old gravy.
340
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,636
Well, how did it go?
341
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:34,015
Peggy, Ladybird, they offered me
a long-term job contract.
342
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,434
With bonuses and a retirement plan.
343
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,770
Oh, Hank, that is so great!
344
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,107
And do not worry.
We will adjust to Houston!
345
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,192
There may be some
culture shock at first--
346
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,153
Peggy, the job's not in Houston.
347
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,738
It's in... Saudi Arabia.
348
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,240
[♪ dramatic music playing]
349
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:53,702
Please tell me that's what
they're calling El Paso now.
350
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,370
[marker squeaking]
351
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:59,249
Okay, let's review the pros
and the cons of Saud-i Arabia.
352
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,377
First con, it is in Saud-i Arabia.
353
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,588
Yes, but pro, I get to spread
354
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:07,133
the gospel of propane to the Middle East.
355
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:12,512
However, it means leaving Texas,
the only home we've ever known.
356
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:17,309
But pro, I can teach English
and Español to Saud-i Arabians.
357
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,519
But con, women can't drive
358
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,439
outside the Aramco base in Saudi Arabia.
359
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,609
Although, half the traffic.
360
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:29,279
Pro, ever since I saw
Lawrence of Arabia as a little girl,
361
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,406
I always wanted to ride a camel.
362
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:35,035
Hank, so far,
the cons do not outweigh the pros.
363
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:38,330
Con, [sighs] I'd still only be
an assistant manager.
364
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:42,000
And another con,
we'd be leaving our friends behind.
365
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,878
But pro, one of them is Kahn.
366
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:48,840
But con-- and this is the biggest con
of them all-- what about Bobby?
367
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,593
- [♪ pensive guitar music plays]
- Oh, yeah. Bobby.
368
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,764
He would be leaving behind Connie,
and Joseph, and all his other friends.
369
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,725
- Bobby has other friends?
- No, he does not.
370
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,268
I was just being generous.
371
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,939
Peggy, I hate to say it,
but we need to have an adult conversation
372
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:07,359
with a boy who still watches cartoons
about a sponge.
373
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,070
♪
374
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:14,283
- [♪ energetic music playing]
- [burgers sizzling]
375
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,872
[bottles spurting]
376
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:27,087
Two doubles and a Junior with no cheese,
up and ready to go.
377
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,839
This must be Jacob's order.
'Sup, Jacob?
378
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,841
- Can I get some--
- [Bobby] Honey mustard?
379
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:35,011
You got it.
Puttin' two extra in your takeout bag,
380
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,430
because I know you're a big dipper.
381
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:38,515
Whoa!
382
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:41,935
I've never seen Bobby
"in the zone" before,
383
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:43,437
except when he's napping.
384
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,399
Don't worry about the food.
It's on me.
385
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,985
I get a 50% discount.
386
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,195
So, what'd you wanna talk about?
387
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:56,032
Must be important,
it's the second family meeting in a month.
388
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,286
- Wait! Is Mom pregnant?
- What? No!
389
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:03,623
I, uh, I got a job offer in Saudi Arabia.
390
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:07,294
Saudi Arabia?
Where Lawrence is from?
391
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:10,130
- Uh-huh.
- Well, that's great, Dad.
392
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:13,883
So... wait, does that mean
you'll be leaving us?
393
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,260
No, Bobby.
394
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:18,680
We would all have to move
to Saudi Arabia, as a family.
395
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,683
Oh, I don't want to do that.
396
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,351
I understand, son.
397
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,646
I'll call Aramco and tell 'em
I'm not takin' the job.
398
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,106
No, no, no, no, no, no.
399
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,609
You guys should go,
but I can't leave now.
400
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:34,904
I have just figured out
what I want to do with my life.
401
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:37,198
I wanna work in the restaurant business!
402
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,951
- [♪ inspiring music playing]
- I love food, I love people,
403
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,454
and I love people eating my food.
404
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,040
I finally found my propane, Dad.
405
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,375
And propane accessories!
406
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,170
Bobby, we cannot let you stay here, alone.
407
00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,463
You would die.
408
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,006
Plus, you need to finish high school.
409
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:57,177
Mom, I promise I'll finish school
and that I won't die.
410
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,971
I can live with Luanne,
Lucky, and Gracie.
411
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,973
You are their favorite babysitter.
412
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,726
And I promise, we'll Skype every day.
413
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,227
I can visit you!
414
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,438
Mom, Dad, I can do this.
415
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,065
[alarm ringing]
416
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,610
I gotta get back to work.
We'll talk about this more at home.
417
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,737
Relax, enjoy your meal,
418
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:19,075
and I'll go get you
some hot apple pies to go.
419
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,077
Am I feeling... pride?
420
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:25,205
I guess our boy
has finally nutted up, Hank.
421
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:26,374
I guess so.
422
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,794
Oh, no.
You know who won't take this well?
423
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,046
[knocking]
424
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,547
Hank, Peggy!
425
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,424
[laughing] Come in.
426
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,136
What an unexpected surprise.
427
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,723
[Bill screaming]
No!
428
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,101
[Bill sobbing]
429
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:48,312
[♪ gentle guitar music playing]
430
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:01,366
Okay, fellas. [sighs]
I'll talk to Buck for ya.
431
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,161
Knew we could count on you, Honey.
432
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,248
Have a seat, ol' top.
Can I get you somethin' to drink?
433
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,542
This isn't a social call, sir.
434
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,253
What I have to say
is best said while standing.
435
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:16,214
I'm here on behalf
of Joe Jack, Booda Sack--
436
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,007
Say no more, let me guess.
437
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:20,719
They're tellin' you the company
is goin' "bankrupt,"
438
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,597
and it's all because
of "my bastard son," Ray Roy.
439
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,892
Well, guess what, Hank?
They're right!
440
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:31,146
Got dangit, Buck.
How could you let it get this bad?
441
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:34,524
You can't treat your staff like this.
That's why I quit.
442
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:37,861
They're the victims here,
not to mention propane.
443
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,905
That gas has been nothing
but good to you, sir.
444
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,407
I know!
445
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,326
But I can't fire him, Hank.
I've tried!
446
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:49,497
Ray Roy's my kryptonite,
and he's my only family.
447
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,875
Well, that's where you're wrong, Buck.
448
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:55,879
I worked for Aramco,
the largest oil producer in the world.
449
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,215
But Strickland Propane had something
Aramco didn't have,
450
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,508
family.
451
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,010
Ray Roy isn't your legacy,
452
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,387
the whole Strickland Propane team is.
453
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,974
You've gotta nut up
and fire Ray Roy, Buck.
454
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,393
You're right, ol' top.
455
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:11,895
Can you do it for me?
456
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,646
I don't work for you now, sir.
457
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:16,566
- And I never will again.
- Please, Hank, please!
458
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:19,319
Save our family, huh?
Be the daddy!
459
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,155
I-- I know I did ya wrong, but come back!
460
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,656
You be the daddy!
461
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,242
Please, be the daddy!
[whimpering]
462
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:30,414
Have some respect,
and stop kissing my shoes.
463
00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:34,292
[Peggy gasps]
You said no? To Buck?
464
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,127
Uh-huh.
465
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,713
Buck Strickland?
466
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,799
Well, good.
467
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,176
I know that that was hard
for you to do, Hank,
468
00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:44,719
seeing how you love propane
469
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,389
- almost as much as you love me.
- Yep.
470
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:50,225
Well, what the heck did Buck expect?
471
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:53,228
He should have promoted you
back when he had the chance.
472
00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:55,980
Well, the way I look at it, Peggy,
we never would've gone
473
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,316
to Saudi Arabia
and secured our nest egg,
474
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,443
Bobby wouldn't have found his passion,
475
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,655
and-- and you wouldn't have had
a chance to ride two camels.
476
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:08,159
And I met a prince,
who I am pretty sure fell in love with me.
477
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,577
Mm-hmm.
478
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,830
[♪ gentle music playing]
479
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,665
We better step on it.
480
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:17,001
Bobby said he'd only hold
our reservation for 15 minutes.
481
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:20,713
You'd think he would give us more time,
seeing that I gave birth to him.
482
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:22,258
[Hank sighs]
483
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:25,510
Hank, you sure
you wanna turn down here?
484
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,512
We always go the long way, ever since--
485
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:31,266
It's okay, Peggy.
That chapter's finally closed.
486
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,059
I'm just Hank Hill, citizen,
487
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:36,021
driving past a local propane business.
488
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:37,857
[♪ dramatic music playing]
489
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,732
Sickland?!
490
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,944
What twisted bastard
thought that'd be funny?
491
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,113
Well, maybe it's supposed
to be a good thing.
492
00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:47,532
- I hear "sick" means cool.
- [tires screeching]
493
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,868
That storage unit needs to be locked up!
494
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,370
That's a blatant code violation!
495
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:55,790
It's like a gotdang horror movie.
496
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:59,294
- You're going inside, aren't you?
- Yeah, [sighs] you're right, Peggy.
497
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:00,838
[sighs] I should.
498
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:03,131
- [door creaking]
- [liquid dripping]
499
00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:05,550
Bwah! Is that urine?
500
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,176
In the showroom?
501
00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:10,180
[♪ tense music playing]
502
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:13,475
[loud snoring]
503
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:18,105
Is he dead?
504
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:21,692
I didn't know she was your wife!
505
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:23,359
[booze bottle sloshing]
506
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,403
- Peggy.
- I understand.
507
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:26,863
- [birds squawking]
- [camera clicking]
508
00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:29,867
[♪ "Mainstreet" by Bob Seger playing]
509
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:35,204
Shouldn't it say "owner," Hank?
510
00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:38,041
You bought 51% of the company.
511
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:39,918
Yes, but that would be bragging.
512
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:41,587
It ain't trickin' if you got it.
513
00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:45,215
[♪ "Mainstreet" continues playing]
514
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,968
♪ Down on Mainstreet ♪
515
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:51,012
Welcome back, Honey.
516
00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:52,639
[phone ringing]
517
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,308
Hank Hill, assistant--
uh, Hank Hill,
518
00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:58,269
manager and owner
of Strickland Propane.
519
00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,979
How can I help ya?
520
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:02,274
Bill? How drunk are you?
521
00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:06,195
[♪ bluegrass version
of "Yahoos and Triangles" playing]
522
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:24,129
- ♪ Yee-haw! ♪
- ♪ Wa-hoo! ♪
523
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:43,356
[♪ song ends]
524
00:24:43,357 --> 00:24:44,440
[birds chirping]
525
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:46,359
- [golf club thumps]
- [crowd cheering]
526
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,403
♪
527
00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:51,406
[Peggy Hill]
It is time for you to nut up, Bobby Hill!
528
00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:54,410
[♪ fanfare playing]