All right, here you go. Two giraffes playing twister,
or a drunk octopus giving directions.
This is my life. I go to get coffee,
my wife becomes a street performer.
No, just filling in for a friend.
Thanks for the break. My back teeth were floating.
No problem.
You know what would really hurt?
Nude rodeo.
Where did that come from?
Uh, clown. Rodeo clown.
Rodeo drive. Fancy clothes.
No clothes. Nude rodeo.
Yes, that would hurt.
Hi, sweetie, did you want a balloon?
Rodney will make you one.
Dharma. She's still there.
Oh, sweetie, we have to go.
Where's your mommy and daddy?
Maybe she doesn't speak English.
Oh.
Donde esta su madre o padre?
That's an interesting choice.
♪♪
This is my name, and this is my address.
Can you write down where you live?
Okay, um, this is me,
and this is my apartment building, okay?
And this is you.
Can you draw where you live?
Oh, that's true. You do have more hair than I gave you.
Oh, actually, let me just get these out of here.
They're tickets to a, uh, Paul Simon concert.
He used to play with a fellow named Garfunkel.
It's a funny name, isn't it?
Well, I asked all around, and nobody's lost a kid.
But keep your eyes peeled for a set of keys
and a German shepherd named Karl.
I'm guessing that's a dog.
You're Mr. Montgomery?
Oh, yes, um, we don't know her name,
and she still hasn't said anything.
And I tried English, Spanish, French,
and I can only swear in Mandarin,
but I have to have a couple mai tais
and you really have to push my buttons.
We'll take her back to the precinct.
Family services will take care of her
until we locate her parents.
Okay. Thank you.
Honey, these nice people here are going to help you find
your mommy and daddy, okay?
Oh, and I don't know how far away the precinct is,
but she just had a 42-ounce big gulp,
so you might want to go lights and sirens.
Thank you.
She's got my good pen.
Okay, thank you.
Well, the police won't give out any information
if you're not a relative.
Oh, it'll work out, honey. Remember the time your father
lost you for six hours at Hands Across America?
No.
Well,that's probably just as well.
Dharma, we did everything we could.
She's in very good hands. Now, we need to get going.
Have you seen my binoculars?
Honey, we're going to be in the eighth row.
Are you going to play "what's up Paul Simon's nose?"
I'll look in the kitchen.
[knock on door]
Oh, mother, dad, what brings you by?
Well, um, Larry said that we might be able
to find Abby here.
Which raises more questions than it answers.
Abby, we were antiquing,
and we ran across this elegant early American quilt,
and I said to Edward, "Abby must have this."
Kitty, I don't know what to say.
Try, "what do you want?"
Edward.
Abby, do you need any help at that dear little
charity thrift shop that you run?
Yeah, but what brought this on?
Well, you know, I feel I just--
I have so much to add to the community,
and I really feel I have not been doing my fair share.
She has to do community service for decking the perfume girl
at Neiman's.
You hit someone?
The woman was basting me in Chantilly.
I put up my hand over my face,
and my hardshell Judith Leiber bag
accidentally tapped her on the cheek.
Knocked her on her ass.
She fell. She was wearing ridiculous shoes.
And that defense didn't work?
Dharma, we got to go.
Hey, Greg, how about we stop at the police station
on the way to the concert?
Dharma, we're already late.
We're barely going to make it as it is.
She's going to be fine. She really will.
What are my binoculars doing in the junk drawer?
I don't know. Maybe the twist-ties
and the batteries were throwing a party.
[knock on door]
I just wish we could see how she was doing.
Okay, now-- now wish for a million dollars.
Ooh! Looks like Misty wins again.
Okay, um, they just said that her mother is on her way,
so we can go.
Well, I'd like to wait for her mom.
I understand, but she's in safe hands,
and we're missing Paul Simon.
Honey, don't you think that if Paul Simon
found a little girl, he would stay with her
even though he was missing us in concert?
Dharma, you make a very...odd point.
Oh, Grace, thank god!
Look at that-- mother and child reunion.
Speaking of which, it's Paul Simon time.
Wait a second.
Hi, I'm Dharma. My husband and I found your daughter.
She kind of found us.
Oh, thank you so much! I-I was at work,
and she slipped away from the new sitter.
I just can't seem to find anybody that she likes.
Does she ever talk?
She just started doing this lately.
I think she's mad at me because I work so much,
but I'm a single parent.
Maybe she just likes the sounds of silence.
We unload the stuff here, and we ask the people
if they'd like any help unloading their car.
I see.
We bring it to the sorting area here,
and if they have any plastic or paper or cardboard,
that goes over there because we recycle.
Ahh, I would assume nothing less.
What's Mrs. Moneybags doing here?
She's doing community service.
I heard she punched out a perfume girl at Neiman Marcus.
Why can't she pick up trash on the highway?
So, that's pretty much the place.
Abby, brava.
Susan and you, dear--
fine, fine work.
Now, um, I have taken the liberty
of filling in my hours for the next five days.
So if you will just sign here,
I will be on my way,
and you can get on with your noble work.
Kitty, no. I think the intention
was that you actually work here.
Well, if I was going to do that,
I could go anywhere.
Kitty, what I'm about to say may sound a little harsh,
but if you don't work here,
I'm going to have to tell the court.
Oh, Abby, don't make her mad.
Sorry we were late, but I couldn't leave
the police station until I knew everything was going to be okay.
And we made it. And how cool was it
that Art Garfunkel showed up?
We missed Paul Simon, we missed Simon and Garfunkel.
We got Garfunkel.
And it was stacked parking,
so we were the last ones in and the last ones to leave.
But we got to listen to the entire "Graceland" CD.
That was fun, huh? The two of us sitting there,
listening to music in stony silence.
Hey. My good pen.
These are good. They're not lima beans,
they're fava beans.
And this is mango chutney,
and you can put that right on the halibut.
But I think you'll find that it doesn't need it.
It's very moist.
Your mom's going to be here soon.
Okay, here you go, Grace. I made you some mac n' cheese.
Dharma, she's not hungry...
For good food.
She's a kid, Greg.
What kind of food did you eat when you were a kid?
This.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure.
Okay, we're just going to go be in the kitchen, okay?
Honey, there's something going on.
We have to figure out why she keeps coming back here.
Dharma, obviously, there's something going on.
But, you know, our getting involved
might just make things worse. This is someone else's child,
and it's none of our business.
She is our business, Greg.
The universe made her our business.
[knock on door]
Dharma, if the universe really wanted us to drop everything
and get involved here,
it would have given us Neil Diamond tickets.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
Honey, oh!
You have to stop doing this.
I thought she really liked this new babysitter.
I hope she wasn't too much trouble.
No, she was fine. She's so sweet.
A little bit of a picky eater.
He's a little bit of a picky cooker.
Listen, if, um, you want to talk about what's going on
or anything--
Dharma, I'm sure she just wants
to get her daughter to bed.
I really should,
but I really appreciate everything that you've done,
and I promise you, this will never happen again.
Okay, well, bye, Grace.
Okay, if you need anything, you know where to find us,
or if you forget, just follow Grace.
Or you can ask your family and friends
instead of a pair of total strangers.
You know, if she had eaten your chutney,
you would have given her a key to the place.
Oh...
Oh, this is disgusting.
You cannot sell shoes that other people have worn.
Oh, Marty--
[stammering]
Yes, the nervous one.
Would you just move this box out for me, dear?
Oh, lord.
May I help you?
Oh, I just wanted to donate these clothes.
All right, well, let me just have a look here.
I have a second bag in the car.
Well, let's-- let's not be hasty.
No, I don't think we can use any of this.
Thank you very much.
But it's a donation.
Yes, well, we're a thrift shop, dear,
not the city dump. Thank you very much.
Abby, just the gal I am looking for.
I have been in touch with my contractor,
and we're going to get rid of this general junkyard area
over here and put up dressing rooms.
Dressing rooms?
Wait a minute? Where are all the books?
She threw them out.
She said they smelled like old books.
No, no, no. You do not want this.
This is the wrong color for you.
She just needs something to keep warm.
No, what she needs is a sense of style.
This doesn't work on you, dear.
I don't think we have anything for you here.
Try Macy's.
Hello there.
What are you doing home?
I just came home for lunch and a little dessert.
Maybe dessert first. Mmm...
I didn't catch you with your boyfriend, now, did I?
[footsteps]
Well, now, wait a second.
If you're Greg, then who's this guy?
Did you call her mother?
Actually, I did. I called her this morning
to see how Grace was doing, and it turned out that
she had a half-day from school and she needed a sitter.
And, of course, you offered.
Yeah, and I really should check with her mom
because I don't think I'm supposed to have boys over.
[telephone rings]
Hello? Oh, hey, Larry, what's up?
Grace, if we're going to drink Mr. Juice,
why don't we take off Mr. Jacket and Mr. Tie?
Okay, I'll be right there.
Honey, I've got to go. Why?
Larry was playing with the baby, and he threw his back out,
and now he's in the middle of the living room floor
and he can't move.
Dharma, you're not going to leave me with her, are you?
If I'm not back in an hour, just take her with you
to the office, and I'll pick her up there.
Bye, sweetie. Dharma--
Honey, I got to go. Make her some lunch, okay?
How do you feel about leftover chicken marsala?
Mac and cheese it is.
I know this probably doesn't look very interesting,
but it kind of is.
This is a letter from a man
who wants to do business with us.
And this is a draft of a letter that answers him.
And I'm going to look at this and make sure
there's nothing in the letter we're writing
that exposes us legally.
Marlene, uh, any word from Dharma?
Oh, she called an hour ago.
She said she's still tied up with her dad and the baby.
See, now, that's the kind of thing I really need to know.
And now you do.
By the way, Pete delivered his report.
It's another page-turner.
Thanks. Uh, could you get some scrap paper
for Grace to draw on?
Sure thing.
Go nuts.
You know, Grace, you don't have to stay in here.
How would you like to go get a doughnut with Marlene?
No, I wouldn't want to do that, either.
You know, I used to come here when I was a kid,
and I'd be bored, just like you are.
Wait, here's something I used to do.
My dad would yell at me, but it's still kind of fun.
See? You can use these to build things, you know?
You can make a fort or a house.
You can use this for the roof,
and then you can pretend
that there are people inside.
"Hey, I like this house,
but it's-- but it's kind of shabby."
What did I tell you about playing with those books?
Dad, this is, uh, this is Grace.
I'm -- I'm watching her for Dharma.
Oh, hello, Grace.
I'm Edward.
Ooh, whatcha got in your ear there, huh?
Whatcha got in your, uh,
one of you guys got a quarter?
There you go.
She threw everything out, she put this stuff up,
and then after you left, she gave us these suits
and told us we'd have to wear them today.
And look at Marci-- she look ridiculous.
Oh, you said I looked pretty.
Yeah, yeah.
We've got to get her out of here.
Oh, guys, it's only 30 more hours.
I won't make it.
Kitty, what have you done?
I know. You're welcome.
No. Kitty, we can't charge $50 for a sweater.
This is a $300 sweater. You had it marked for $7.
'cause we're a non-profit organization.
Because you charge $7 for a $300 sweater.
Kitty, you know what?
I'm beginning to feel really selfish
keeping you here.
Yeah, so I'm just going to--
I'm going to sign off on your hours.
Consider your community served.
Well, but I think I've only put in just--
No, no, no. Really, it's as if you've been here
100 hours.
Well, Abby, I have to admit
that I came to you looking for a way out,
and you were right to insist that I do my time.
And I intend to do all of it.
In fact, I may volunteer here.
You need me.
I have been called to dress the poor of San Francisco.
Ah.
May I help you?
As if I need to ask.
Greg?
Hold on.
That's the guy who steals our paper.
Okay, ready?
Now!
[man] Hey!
All right, one of you here is a bad influence.
Me.
I'm sorry I got hung up.
Oh, it's okay, we're fine. How's your dad doing?
Well, we figured it out. It was not his back.
He had his belt on too tight.
You guys want to come down for dinner?
Couple minutes?
Okay.
But don't make me come back up here.
Who are we going to get now?
Sorry we're late. We had to stop for wigs.
That's what's different. I couldn't put my finger on it.
Come on in. Thanks.
Thanks so much for watching Grace today.
Oh, she was no trouble at all. I, however, got two time-outs.
Well, we'll be out of your hair very soon.
My sister just got me a great job in Los Angeles,
and Gracie has a cousin there she can play with.
Oh, that's good news.
Uh, when are you leaving?
'cause I told Grace next time we'd do jell-o balloons.
Well, it's all happening very fast.
We're going to be flying out tomorrow
to start looking for a place to live.
Oh, wow. Oh, look how cute this picture is
of Grace. Is that her dad?
Yes, it is.
Um, Gracie, do you want to go feed Cleo?
And fish food, sweetie, not Fruit Loops.
Um,
my husband passed away in January.
Oh, I'm sorry. Very sorry.
Yeah, it was very sudden-- a car accident.
She's, um, having a very hard time.
She misses him a lot.
Oh, Gracie, honey, let me help you with that.
Greg, who does Grace's dad look like?
Wow.
Yeah.
I guess that explains the house calls, huh?
Okay, well,
thank you, guys, for everything that you've done.
Sure. We'll just say goodbye.
Oh, sure.
This is probably why she didn't eat the halibut.
Doesn't explain the chutney.
Nobody likes chutney, Greg.
All right,
well, it was really fun hanging out with you, Grace.
Thanks for keeping an eye on Greg.
I'll take it from here.
It was really nice meeting you,
and I had a great time today.
And your mom says that you guys
are going to move to Los Angeles.
That sounds like fun.
Hey, Grace, sometimes people have to go away.
Sometimes we don't want them to,
but they have to, anyway, and that makes us sad.
And I think when that happens,
then it's okay to be sad.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Sure.
Well, here. You should have these.
'cause believe it or not, we have enough.
Thanks.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Getting a little chilly up here, isn't it?
Yeah, a little.
She's going to be fine.
I know.
And you're going to be a great dad.
How do you know?
How am I going to know what to do?
Oh, you'll watch what I do,
you'll totally disapprove
and do the complete opposite.
Yeah, what's the kid going to think?
She'll think, I am one lucky kid.
Ooh, it's the guy who smokes cigars
in the elevator.
[man] Hey!
I love you.