WHOA.
WELL, SO MUCH FOR TWISTER.
WHAT'S NEXT?
I VOTE FOR THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.
YEAH, BUT TOWERING INFERNOHAS A HIGHER ALL-STAR BODY COUNT.
BUT THEY JUST BURNED. IN THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE,
THE DEATHS ARE MUCH MORE INTERESTING.
EVERYTHING'S UPSIDE DOWN.
HEY, IT'S TIME.
LET'S SEE IF OUR DISASTER MOVIE SEÉANCE WORKED.
GOOD EVENING FROM THE WEATHER CENTER,
WHERE WE CONTINUE TO TRACK THE PROGRESS OF HURRICANE CHRIS,
GAINING MOMENTUM AS IT HEADS UP THE COAST,
PROMPTING WARNINGS FOR SEVERAL COASTAL AREAS
AND EVEN SCHOOL CANCELLATIONS.
LOCAL OFFICIALS HAVE GONE AHEAD AND CANCELED CLASSES FOR TOMORROW
IN YARMOUTH, NORTH FALMOUTH, AND CAPESIDE...
WHOO-HOO!
SCORE!
YEAH!Bob: STAY WITH US. GALE?
Gale: THANKS, HAL.
WELL, BOB, SOUNDS LIKE TOMORROW WOULD BE A GOOD DAY
JUST TO STAY IN BED.
YOU'VE GOT THAT RIGHT, GALE.
GOD! COULD THEY BE ANY MORE OBVIOUS?
SO, GALE, WHAT IS YOUR VIEW ON THE CURRENT SITUATION IN BOSNIA,
AND WILL YOU BE JUMPING MY BONES AFTER THE BROADCAST?!
DOES YOUR MOM KNOW YOU KNOW?
NO.
YOUR DAD?
PROFOUNDLY CLUELESS.
SO...PAUL NEWMAN OR GENE HACKMAN?
UH, YOU KNOW, JOEY, I'M A LITTLE TIRED.
YOU MIND IF I SACK?
UH...NO. THAT'S FINE. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS, DAWSON.
UH, EVERYTHING'S POSTPONED BECAUSE OF THE HURRICANE.
MY LIFE INCLUDED.
YOUR LIFE IS A HURRICANE.
NO METAPHORS, JOEY. IT'S TOO LATE.
LATER.
I'LL SEE YA TOMORROW, JOEY.
HEY, DAWSON? YEAH?
FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT.
IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY LIFE.
Gale: NOW IN OTHER NEWS, WILLIAM BENNETT SAID TOM BURTON WOULD CONFER WITH DEMOCRATS
ON THE PANEL TODAY ABOUT WHETHER THEY WOULD BE WILLING TO JOIN GOP MEMBERS
IN VOTING TO CONFER IMMUNITY ON 3 WITNESSES.
A 2/3 VOTE IS REQUIRED.
BACK TO YOU, BOB.
OH, WELL, I GUESS IF IT WERE THE CAPESIDE BAKE-OFF,
THEN I WOULD BE YOUR MAN.
NO, I'M NOT TRYING TO BE SARCASTIC.
I'M TRYING TO BE A REPORTER.
FINE, JIM. IF ANYBODY NEEDS ME, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE,
DARNING MY HUSBAND'S SOCKS.
UNBELIEVABLE.
I TAKE IT THEY'RE NOT LETTING YOU COVER THE HURRICANE.
OF COURSE NOT. I'M MISSING A CERTAIN APPENDAGE BETWEEN MY LEGS,
WHICH APPARENTLY MAKES ONE UNIQUELY QUALIFIED
TO COVER INCLEMENT WEATHER.
WELL, ME AND MY APPENDAGE ARE BOTH THRILLED
THAT YOU WILL BE HERE SAFE, WHERE YOU BELONG.
ALL RIGHT. FLASHLIGHTS, CANDLES, COLD SHOWER, AND BATTERIES.
THANKS, DAWSON. LISTEN, I'M GONNA RUN NEXT DOOR
AND CHECK ON JEN AND MRS. RYAN,
EXTEND AN INVITATION TO RIDE OUT THE STORM.
OK.
MY DAD'S A GREAT GUY, ISN'T HE?
MAYBE ON THE TOM HANKS, HARRISON FORD IDEALISTIC SIDE,
BUT SOLID LIKE A ROCK.
WITHOUT QUESTION.
AND FAITHFUL.
EVEN TO A FAULT.
MM-HMM.
SO WHO'S COVERING, UH, HURRICANE CHRIS?
HUH. BOB GOT THE GIG.
OH, THAT BOB.
BOY, HE'S ON TOP OF IT.
YEAH, HE'S A GREAT GUY.
DAD'S A GREAT GUY.
BOB'S...THE ANCHORMAN.
UM, HONEY, DID YOU SECURE THE FRONT PORCH?
I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.
UM, GOTTA GET READY FOR HURRICANE BOB.
HURRICANE CHRIS.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
CHRIS IS THE HURRICANE. BOB'S THE ANCHORMAN.
[DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING]
[SIGHS]
OH, BOY.
I JUST WANT IT KNOWN
THAT I AM HERE UNDER COMPLETE DURESS.
OH, JUST STOP YOUR PUNK-ASS WHINING.
SCHOOL'S OUT TODAY.
IT'S MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP IN,
CATCH UP ON MY SOAPS, ENJOY THE STORM.
HEY, DAD'S ORDERS.
DAD'S ORDERS. YOU SAY THAT WITH SUCH A LAPDOG ENTHUSIASM.
YOU KNOW I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS.
[EFFEMINATE TONE] OH, YOU'RE SO BUTCH, DOUGIE.
OH...SCREW YOU.
DOUG, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO PROCESS
THESE HOSTILE OUTBURSTS OF RAGE.
I MEAN, ANY THERAPIST IS GONNA TELL YOU
THAT THESE ARE JUST MERE REPRESSION TACTICS
TO MASK YOUR TRUE HOMOSEXUAL DESIRES.
JUST BECAUSE I'M PRETTY DOESN'T MEAN I'M GAY.
I HAPPEN TO BE THE STRAIGHTEST GUY I KNOW.
OH, REALLY?
I THINK YOUR CD COLLECTION WOULD CONTRADICT THAT.
BARBRA STREISAND, THE SOUNDTRACK TO LES MIZ...
I HAVE AN INTERESTING AND SOFT COMPLEXITY.
YOU KNOW, DOUG, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEFEND YOURSELF TO ME.
I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
I JUST WANT YOU TO LIVE A HAPPY AND, UH, FRUITFUL LIFE.
YOU KNOW, WOMEN HAPPEN TO LOVE MY CD COLLECTION.
ANSWER ME THIS.
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE A PROFESSION THAT REQUIRES YOU TO DRESS
LIKE ONE OF THE VILLAGE PEOPLE?
I CHOSE TO WEAR A BADGE BECAUSE OUR FATHER,
THE CHIEF OF POLICE OF CAPESIDE,
INSTILLED IN ME A SENSE OF DUTY AND A BELIEF IN JUSTICE.
RIGHT, WHICH MAKES IT ALL THE HARDER FOR YOU TO COME OUT.
I UNDERSTAND THAT, DOUG.
YOU KNOW, I'M SURE THAT THERE ARE SUPPORT GROUPS FOR GAY OFFICERS.
LISTEN, PACEY! I'M NOT GAY!
Bodie: YOU'RE WAFFLING. WE ALREADY AGREED ON THIS.
IT'S MUTILATION.
STUDIES SHOW THE TRAUMA OF HAVING YOUR GENITALS SLICED
CAN HAVE A LASTING EFFECT INTO ADULTHOOD.
TRUST ME. IF I WAS CONSCIOUS OF IT,
I'D MOST DEFINITELY REMEMBER.
YOU KNOW, JUNIOR'S FORESKIN WILL BE A NON-ISSUE
IF WE ALL BLOW AWAY IN A TYPHOON.
IT'S JUST A WARNING. THESE THINGS NEVER COME THIS FAR NORTH.
WELL, I VOTE WE GO TO DAWSON'S.
ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. THIS KID--PFFT--IS BEING CIRCUMCISED.
NO...HE'S NOT.
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PREGNANT,
DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA GET THE LAST WORD ON THIS.
WATCH ME.
TAMMY!
HEY, TAMARA!
HI.
UH, NO, DON'T.
THE BACK SIDE'S ALL DONE.
YO, PACE, GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, PACEY.
YOUR BROTHER WAS KIND ENOUGH TO HELP ME SECURE THE PLACE.
OH, YEAH. HE IS A GREAT GUY.
SO...HOW'S YOUR HOMEWORK COMING?
I HOPE THIS BAD WEATHER'S GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO CATCH UP ON YOUR READING.
ARE YOU KIDDING? THE GUY'S A GOOF.
HE HASN'T CRACKED A BOOK SINCE THIRD GRADE.
OH, REALLY? WELL, YOU'D BE PLEASED.
YOUR BROTHER'S DOING QUITE WELL, OFFICER WITTER.
OH, PLEASE, CALL ME DOUG.
OK.
AND, UH, I CAN CALL YOU...
UH, MISS JACOBS WOULD BE FINE.
OR TAMARA, WHATEVER YOU'D LIKE.
TAMARA.
[THUNDERCLAP] OH!
I'M SORRY. I HATE STORMS.
I--I REALLY DON'T DO WELL AT ALL IN BAD WEATHER.
WELL, WE'LL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.
Grams: I'VE WEATHERED MORE STORMS IN MY TIME THAN YOU CAN COUNT.
WELL, HUMOR ME.
I'LL FEEL A LOT BETTER IF YOU GUYS ARE OVER HERE WITH US.
IF THE LORD DECIDES TO BLOW MY HOUSE AWAY, SO BE IT.
OH, GRAMS, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU,
THE LORD SENT A FAX WHILE YOU WERE OUT.
SOMETHING ABOUT THE ARMAGEDDON.
HEY, STRANGER.
Dawson: HEY, UM, I HEARD YOUR GRANDPA WAS BACK IN THE HOSPITAL.
I'M SORRY. OH, YEAH.
THEY'RE JUST RUNNING SOME TESTS. HE'LL BE OK.
IT'S MADE GRAMS KINDA ANXIOUS, THOUGH.
BUT HOW ARE YOU DOING?
GOOD.
OK, UH...
CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND WITH SOMETHING?
UH, NO. I'M COOL. THANKS.
YOU'RE BEING COLD TO ME, DAWSON.
NO. I--
IT'S NOT A JUDGMENT OR ANYTHING.
IT'S JUST AN OBSERVATION.
DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS?
IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU--
OK, US. IT--IT--I--
I'VE JUST GOT A BIG TO-DO LIST IN MY HEAD, REALLY.
SURE.
Bob: HIGH TIDES AND STORM SURGES WITH HEAVY RAIN FORECAST FOR THE LOCAL AREA.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.
MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.
WE'RE GONNA FIX UP SOME LUNCH.
THAT'S SO KIND OF YOU. WE REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.
NO PROBLEM. MRS. RYAN, DO YOU KNOW--
WE'VE MET. YOU'RE BESSIE, JOEY'S UNMARRIED SISTER.
AND...THIS IS BODIE.
MM-HMM.
UH-HUH.
OH. THANK YOU, WALTER CRONKITE.
NEED I REMIND YOU WHO WON THE LOCAL EMMY AND THE GOLDEN DESK AWARD?
HMM?
I HAVE MORE PLAQUES AND TROPHIES THAN YOU DO.
[GIGGLING]
[GASPS]
BAD BOY!
WELL, YOU JUST BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.
I'D LIKE YOU BACK IN ONE PIECE.
OK.
[KISSING]
UM...I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
GOT A NEW AWARD FOR YOU, MOM.
IT'S NOT A TROPHY, THOUGH.
IT COMES IN THE FORM OF AN "A."
AND YOU HAVE TO STITCH IT RIGHT HERE.
CONGRATULATIONS.
DAWSON. DAWSON, HONEY, WE NEED TO TALK.
YEAH? ABOUT WHAT, THE WEATHER?
HONEY...
UM, I KNOW YOU MUST BE REALLY ANGRY RIGHT NOW,
AND IT IS COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED.
SAVE IT.
HONEY, PLEASE... HEAR ME OUT.
UM...
I LOVE YOUR FATHER.
NOW, I KNOW THAT MIGHT SEEM A LITTLE HYPOCRITICAL AT THE MOMENT,
BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING BETWEEN BOB AND I--
BOB AND ME. "BOB AND I" IS GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT.
IF YOU LET ME, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THIS.
UNDERSTAND WHAT, THE COMPLICATED MIND OF AN ADULTERESS?
DO YOU HAVE SOME NEW EARTH-SHATTERING RATIONALE
WHY YOU'RE BREAKING THE SACRED VOWS OF MARRIAGE?
IT'S PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD, ISN'T IT?
NO, IT ISN'T. THERE ARE REASONS.
REASONS. WHY? BOREDOM, MAYBE?
I KNOW. WHY DON'T YOU PULL THIS
"I'M 40 NOW. TIME TO BE SELFISH. LIFE IS PASSING ME BY" CRAP.
WOULD YOU LET ME EXPLAIN?
FINE, MOM. GO FOR IT. EXPLAIN.
PURGE, BUT PURGE TO THE RIGHT PERSON.
I'M THE SON.
REMEMBER, THERE'S A WHOLE MISSING ELEMENT HERE.
I THINK IT'S DOWNSTAIRS, AND IT HAS A NAME--
HUSBAND, SPOUSE, MATE, BETTER HALF.
ANY OF THOSE RING A BELL?
ARE YOU OK?
I DON'T GET IT.
I'VE GOT THESE 2 ADOLESCENT PARENTS
WHO BUMP LIKE RABBITS EVERY DAY OF THEIR LIVES.
YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH,
BUT EVIDENTLY DAD COULDN'T KEEP UP, AND MOM JUST SAID, "HEY--"
DON'T. DAWSON, THESE THINGS HAVE VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH SEX.
IS THE PROPOSITION OF MONOGAMY SUCH A JURASSIC NOTION?
I MEAN, IS IT NO LONGER REASONABLE TO THINK
THAT 2 PEOPLE CAN BE ENOUGH FOR EACH OTHER FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIVES?
I--I DON'T KNOW.MAYBE IT'S CHEMICAL.
MAYBE THERE'S SOME KIND OF HORMONAL IMBALANCE
THAT CAUSES ONE TO FORNICATE WITH THEIR COWORKERS.
MAYBE IT'S NOT JUST BOB.
MAYBE IT EXTENDS TO THE WHOLE 6:00 AND 11:00 ACTION NEWS TEAMS.
YOUR MOTHER IS A GOOD WOMAN.
HEH HEH HEH. YEAH, YOU DEFEND HER. YOU WOULD.
IT MAKES SENSE.
EXCUSE ME.YOU HEARD ME.
YEAH, I DID, AND YOU BETTER CLARIFY YOURSELF RIGHT NOW BEFORE I RIP YOUR HEAD OFF.
I'M SIMPLY REMARKING WHO BETTER TO UNDERSTAND
A WOMAN'S NEED TO HAVE MULTIPLE PARTNERS.
OH, BEING THAT I'VE SLEPT WITH HALF OF NEW YORK CITY?
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
WE'RE NOT ALL AS PIOUS AS YOU, DAWSON.
SOME OF US AREN'T IMAGINARY CHARACTERS IN A SPIELBERG FILM.
SOME OF US LIVE IN REALITY.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[JOEY SNEEZES]
OH, DON'T EVEN TELL ME.
DON'T MIND ME. JUST PASSING THROUGH.
AHH. I CAN'T ESCAPE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?
JUST REGRESSING FOR A MOMENT.
REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO PLAY IN THERE WHEN WE WERE KIDS?
YOU KNOW, WE'D REENACT THE WHOLE THIRD ACT FROM JAWS.
NOT NOW, JOEY.
COME ON. I MEAN, YOU'D BE CAPTAIN QUINT,
AND I'D BE BOTH HOOPER AND SHERIFF BRODY,
AND WE KNEW ALL THE LINES BY HEART.
WE'RE NOT KIDS ANYMORE, JOEY.
BUT WOULDN'T IT BE NICE?
OH, RIGHT.
IT'S UP THERE WITH SLEEPING OVER
ON THE "WE'RE TOO OLD FOR THIS" LIST. I SEE.
LOOK, I--I KNOW YOU'RE STILL MAD AT ME FOR LYING TO YOU.
EVEN IF YOU WON'T ADMIT IT,
THERE'S RESIDUE ALL OVER YOUR FACE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE YOU BETTER GO, JOEY.
MY VERBAL VOMIT'S OUT OF CONTROL TODAY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH, DAWSON.
YOU'RE STRUGGLING TO FIND ANSWERS.
YOU KNOW, YOU WANNA KNOW WHY SHE'S CHEATING, BUT...
[SIGHS]
IT'S--IT'S ALL PERCEPTION, DAWSON.
LET ME JUST OFFER THE ONE OUNCE OF WISDOM
I CAN BRING TO THIS TABLE.
YOU KNOW, INSTEAD OF ASKING WHY
YOUR MOTHER'S DOING ALL THESE HORRIBLE THINGS,
MAY I SUGGEST THAT YOU GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES
AND THANK GOD THAT YOU HAVE A MOTHER?
JOEY.
SORRY, DAWSON. I FORGOT FOR A SECOND.
THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME.
Bob: THE WINDS ARE NOW RACING AT 50 MILES AN HOUR,
AND THEY'RE STEADILY CLIMBING.
NOW, ALTHOUGH IT IS STILL UNDETERMINED WHETHER HURRICANE CHRISTOPHER
IS GONNA MAKE LANDFALL RIGHT HERE IN CAPESIDE--
I'M JUST SAYING, A LITTLE FRESH ROSEMARY, SOME GROUND PEPPER--
I THINK I KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT THE CULINARY ARTS THAN--
THE CHICKEN WAS JUST DELICIOUS, MRS. RYAN.
...THE TIDAL SURGE IS GOING TO COINCIDE WITH THE STORM SURGE.
THAT BEING THE CASE,
LOOK FOR WATERS TO RISE 15 TO 20 FEET--
Mitch: IT'S GETTING PRETTY MESSY OUT THERE.
HOPE BOB WATCHES OUT FOR HIMSELF.
I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT BOB, MR. LEERY.
LISTEN TO YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITIES.
I'M GONNA SEND IT BACK TO THE STUDIO IN JUST A MOMENT'S TIME,
BUT WE'LL BE HERE ALL DAY LONG
AS THE STORM PROGRESSES.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
I GUESS I F...
THIS IS REALLY F...
EVERY SENTENCE THAT COMES TO MIND ENDS WITH THE F-WORD.
WELL, DON'T HOLD BACK ON MY ACCOUNT.
I'VE HEARD IT.
I'M AN ADULT, JOEY. I'M SUPPOSED TO SET AN EXAMPLE.
I'D STICK TO THE F-WORD IF I WERE YOU.
I'VE BEEN VERY SELFISH.
SEEMS TO RUN IN YOUR FAMILY.
BUT I'M ENDING IT.
IT WAS NICE OF YOU GUYS TO STAY.
OH, HERE, LET ME GET THIS.
I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW SCARED I WAS.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
I NEVER EXPECTED A HURRICANE TO COME THIS FAR NORTH.
WELL, I'M AN OFFICER OF THE LAW,
AND IT'S MY JOB TO PROTECT PEOPLE, SO...
WELL, AS LONG AS I'M NOT KEEPING YOU GUYS FROM ANYTHING.
OH, NO. [CRASH]
WHAT WAS THAT?
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
W--UH, SHOULD YOU GO OUT THERE?
OH, THIS IS MY JOB, TAMMY.
AH.
YOUR BROTHER'S VERY NICE.
HE IS A CLOSET CASE.
WHAT?
OH, YEAH. FULL-BLOODED 100% GAY MAN.
I MEAN, HE LIKES TO KEEP IT QUIET, YOU KNOW,
BEING AN OFFICER OF THE LAW
IN A SMALL TOWN.
DOES YOUR DAD KNOW?
AH, MY PARENTS ARE IN DENIAL ABOUT THIS.
IT'S REALLY-- IT'S AN UGLY SITUATION.
BUT HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, TAMMY?
NO. I DON'T THINK SO.
NOT WITH YOUR BADGE BROTHER RIGHT OUTSIDE.
QUICK REMINDER-- THIS IS A FELONY.
THAT'S THE ATTRACTION, ISN'T IT?
I'VE BEEN MISSING YOU.
I'VE BEEN MISSING YOU, TOO, BUT...
THERE. YOU HAPPY?
GET OVER HERE.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
LET GO. HONESTLY.
I MEAN IT. I MEAN IT. I MEAN IT.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
IT WAS NOTHING. IT WAS JUST THE, UH...
YOU REALIZE IF THE KELP TAKES OFF,
WE'LL HAVE A WHOLE CHAIN OF LEERY FAMILY RESTAURANTS
COAST TO COAST.
THAT'S GREAT, DAD.
SOMETHING WRONG, DAWSON?
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
SOMETHING'S VERY WRONG.
MITCH, THERE'S SOMETHING THAT YOU--
I MEAN, THERE'S SOMETHING THAT I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE.
UH, NO, DAWSON. WE'RE A FAMILY.
THIS FALLS ON ALL EARS.
HON, WHAT IS IT?
UH...
WOW, WHERE DO I BEGIN?
UM, YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE WHAT I DO,
THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE
A DIANE SAWYER OR-- OR A BARBARA WALTERS.
UM, MITCH, IT'S-- IT'S 20 YEARS LATER,
AND I AM NEVER GOING TO BE DIANE SAWYER OR BARBARA WALTERS.
I KNOW THAT.
I MEAN, I GAVE UP THAT DREAM.
IT--IT'S OK. I'VE ACCEPTED IT.
I STILL WOULD LIKE TO BE LIKE A JENNY JONES
OR A SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL.
WHAT'S WRONG, GALE?
OH, GOD. I'M DIGRESSING.
UM...
I MEAN, WHO WATCHES THOSE SHOWS ANYWAY?
I MEAN, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.
SOMEBODY DOES SOMEBODY WRONG,
AND THEN THEY GO ON TV WITH THEIR I.Q. OF 3
AND BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT IT FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE,
AND--NOW, I KNOW THIS IS A JUDGMENT, BUT...
I HAVE ALWAYS PRIDED MYSELF ON NOT BEING THAT KIND OF PERSON,
YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF PERSON THAT WOULD WIND UP ON A PANEL
OF--OF CHEATERS AND LOWLIFES AND--
AND--AND LIARS.GALE.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
WHAT I AM SAYING IS,
FOR THE PAST 2 MONTHS,
FOR THE PAST 62 DAYS,
EVERY TIME THAT I'VE COME HOME LATE...
EVERY TIME THAT I HAVE MADE AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE...
EVERY TIME THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN WITH YOU,
I HAVE BEEN WITH SOMEONE ELSE,
ANOTHER MAN,
HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN.
NOW, I WON'T BE SO INSULTING AS TO OFFER AN APOLOGY.
THIS IS, AFTER ALL, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FORGIVENESS.
I JUST THOUGHT THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW, MITCH.
MITCH?
[THUNDER]
BATTERIES.
I KNEW I SHOULD'VE GOTTEN SOME MORE BATTERIES. DAWSON--
MITCH.
DAWSON, DAWSON, TAKE THESE, UH, CANDLES AND FLASHLIGHT
INTO THE OTHER ROOM, ALL RIGHT?
NOW, WHERE IS THAT LANTERN?
I FILLED IT WITH KEROSENE THIS MORNING,
AND NOW IT IS GONE.
MITCH, PLEASE TALK TO ME.
I HAD IT IN MY HANDS, AND NOW IT'S DISAPPEARED.
WHERE IS IT?
WHERE'D IT GO?
DON'T YOU CRY!
YOU DON'T GET TO CRY.
[SOBBING]
IS EVERYTHING OK?
OH, YEAH, EVERYTHING'S FINE.
UM, I THINK THERE'S SOME MORE CANDLES UPSTAIRS.
YOU KNOW, YOU ARE SUCH A CLUMSY IDIOT.
TAMMY, I AM REALLY SORRY ABOUT MY BROTHER.
WE'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH THIS PINHEAD IMBECILE FOR YEARS NOW.
HE'S KIND OF THE FAMILY EMBARRASSMENT, YOU KNOW.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
IT'S OK, DOUG.
REALLY, IT WAS MY FAULT. I RAN INTO HIM.
I'M THE CLUMSY ONE.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
OH, JUST SOME POSSIBLE RIDING-OUT-THE-STORM ENTERTAINMENT.
WELL, HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED THE IF GAME?
NO. HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
OH, IT'S A REALLY GOOD WAY TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
UH, I ASK YOU A QUESTION LIKE
IF YOU COULD ONLY EAT ONE FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,
WHAT WOULD IT BE?
AND THEN YOU ANSWER AND ASK ME SOMETHING.
OK. WHO'S FIRST?
I VOTE FOR MONOPOLY. THAT GAME HAS A POINT.
IT'S JUST A REALLY GOOD WAY
TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER, THAT'S ALL.
ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE.
UM, IF YOU HAD TO PICK ONE CITY
THAT YOU HAD TO LIVE IN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,
WHAT CITY WOULD YOU PICK?
EASY. NEW YORK,
MY HOMETOWN.
NO OTHER PLACE LIKE IT.
SO WHY'D YOU MOVE?
UH, WELL, BECAUSE I NEEDED A CHANGE.
I HAVE A DYSFUNCTIONAL EX-HUSBAND,
AND NEW YORK WASN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE 2 OF US.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, IF I WAS YOUR EX-HUSBAND,
I'D BE FULL OF REGRET RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
OK. MY TURN.
DOUGIE, IF YOU COULD STAR IN ANY BROADWAY MUSICAL,
WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
EASY.
TONY. WEST SIDE STORY.
I LOVE THAT.
YEAH? SOMEWHERE...
IS MY FAVORITE.IT'S MINE, TOO.
I MUST HAVE WATCHED THAT MOVIE TEN TIMES WHEN I WAS A KID.
TEN TIMES? TRY FIFTEEN!
A MILLION BABIES ARE CIRCUMCISED EVERY YEAR.
IT'S A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE.
IT'S A HARSH AND BARBARIC EXAMPLE OF CHILD ABUSE.
Bodie: WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT'S GOING TO BE A GIRL OR BOY.
OR BLACK OR WHITE.
WHOO. SHE'S OFF AND RUNNING.
BODIE, DON'T.
IT'S NOT A JUDGMENT, BODIE. JUST AN OBSERVATION.
WHICH DO YOU OBJECT TO MORE, MRS. RYAN--
THE FACT THAT I'M BLACK AND SHE'S WHITE
OR THAT WE'RE UNMARRIED AND ABOUT TO HAVE A CHILD IN SIN?
WHAT I OBJECT TO MOST, BODIE,
IS WHEN CHILDREN RAISE CHILDREN.
GET READY, BODIE.
THAT CHILD WILL BE IDENTIFIED AS DIFFERENT.
PART BLACK, PART WHITE,
IT DOESN'T MATTER, MRS. RYAN.
THIS CHILD WILL BE 100% LOVED.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? IT'S PRETTY COLD.
IT'S PRETTY COLD IN THERE, TOO.
I JUST NEED A LITTLE BREAK.
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?
JUST WATCHING MR. LEERY.
I GUESS THE... [THUNDERCLAP]
REALLY HIT THE FAN TODAY.
SO WHERE'S DAWSON?
DON'T KNOW. DON'T CARE.
I'M TAKING A BREAK.
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST AN EGO THING.
I MEAN, "HOW COULD THERE POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN ANYONE BEFORE ME?
HOW CAN I MEASURE UP?"
IS HE REALLY THAT TRITE?
I'M SURE THERE'S A MEASURING TAPE
SITTING IN HIS BATHROOM RIGHT NOW.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S MARKED UP AT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
OH, COME ON.
DO YOU THINK DAWSON'S GOT A PISTOL OR A RIFLE?
UHH...
HOW WOULD I KNOW?
OH, COME ON.
DAWSON WAS WRONG TO SPEW HIS ANGER AT HIS MOM ONTO YOU.
SO YOU HEARD?
INVOLUNTARY EAVESDROPPING.
WELL, I GUESS I'M NO LONGER THE VIRGIN QUEEN
OF DAWSON LEERY'S HAND-HELD FANTASIES.
YEAH, I THINK DAWSON'S HAVING A LIFE-DEFINING, TURNING POINT
IN HIS LIFE RIGHT NOW.
AREN'T WE ALL?
YOU KNOW, TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION
HIS HEIGHT, WEIGHT, FEET AND HAND SIZE,
I'D SAY HE'S SLIGHTLY ABOVE AVERAGE.
OH, SO YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
CAN I HELP YOU WITH THAT?
NO, IT'S FINE. I'M... I'M FINE, THANKS.
MR. RYAN USED TO SAY,
"IF YOU WANT THE RAINBOW...
YOU GOTTA PUT UP WITH A LOT OF RAIN."
[SIGHS]
SO YOU KNOW, TOO?
I USED TO BE A BIG FAN OF MOTION PICTURES.
FRANK CAPRA--
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE,
MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON,
POCKETFUL OF MIRACLES.
SIMPLE DESIRES FULFILLED, ASPIRATIONS REALIZED.
FEARS OF ABANDONMENT TURNED INTO FANTASY SPECTACLES OF SECURITY AND JOY.
FRANK CAPRA AND STEVEN SPIELBERG
ARE OFTEN COMPARED FOR THEIR THEMATIC CONTENT.
WHAT I LIKED MOST ABOUT THOSE MOVIES
IS THE FACT THAT NO MATTER HOW FAR OFF THE PEDESTAL THE CHARACTER FELL,
HE ALWAYS GOT A SECOND CHANCE.
FORGIVENESS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS THE LORD HAS GIVEN US.
WITH IT COMES... UNDERSTANDING.
THE SAME WAY RAIN BRINGS A RAINBOW?
FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN OF YOU SO FAR,
YOU BETTER BUY YOURSELF A GOOD UMBRELLA.
ST. CHARLES PLACE WITH A HOTEL--
$750.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
OH, NOW, SO WHAT ABOUT GYPSY?
OH, I LOVE THAT.
DID YOU SEE THE BETTE MIDLER TV VERSION?
OH, SHE WAS GREAT.
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I STILL LOVE ETHEL MERMAN.
Tamara: YEAH. A CHORUS LINE?
♪ KISS TODAY GOOD-BYE
♪ THE SWEETNESS AND THE SORROW ♪
IT'S YOUR TURN.
OH.
LISTEN, TAMARA, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT WITH ME SOMETIME,
MAYBE CATCH A MOVIE?
THE RIALTO'S GOT THIS WHOLE OLDIES CLASSICS THING
ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS.
THEY PLAY A LOT OF THE OLD MGM MUSICALS.
IT'S REALLY GREAT.
I'D LOVE TO.
YEAH? GREAT. OK, WE'LL MAKE A WHOLE NIGHT OF IT.
NICE ROMANTIC DINNER, LEAVE BABY BROTHER HERE AT HOME.
JUST GIVE US A CHANCE TO, UH,
I DON'T KNOW, GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE MORE INTIMATELY.
YOU KNOW, MAKE IT A REAL DATE.
WELL, NOT REALLY A REAL DATE.
WHY NOT?
WELL, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I...
I KNOW.
IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M TOO YOUNG, IS IT?
I MEAN, PLEASE DON'T PULL THE AGE THING ON ME.
I'M 24. SOON TO BE 25.
NO, NO, IT'S NOT THAT AT ALL.
IT'S JUST THAT I KNOW THAT YOU'RE...
GAY.
WHAT?
DID YOU TELL HER I'M GAY?
Tamara: NO. I GUESSED IT.
WH-WHEN I LIVED IN NEW YORK,
I LIVED ON CHRISTOPHER STREET.
I HAVE GOOD GAYDAR.
YOU TOLD HER, DIDN'T YOU?
TELL HER I'M NOT GAY!
SHE HAS GAYDAR.
TAMARA, I AM NOT GAY.IT'S OK TO BE GAY.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL HIM, TAMARA.
ALL RIGHT. YOU TELL HER RIGHT NOW I AM NOT GAY!
GUYS, GUYS, HEY!
IT'S OK, TAMARA.
HE DOES THIS KIND OF STUFF ALL THE TIME.
[EXHALES]
TELL HER.
NOW.
[WHIMPERING]
OK. ALL RIGHT.
HE'S NOT GAY.
ALL RIGHT THEN.
SO WHOSE TURN IS IT?
[SHIVERING]
IT'S BOB, ISN'T IT?
THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU...
IT WAS, UH, ON THE PIER AT THE MARINA,
AND YOU WERE WITH THAT GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS...
THE WOMAN WHO NEVER SHUT UP-- TALK, TALK, TALK ALL THE TIME.
I CAN'T REMEMBER
HER NAME. IT WAS, UH...
ONE OF THOSE SOAP-OPERA NAMES, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, ALEXIS OR DORIAN.
PHOEBE.
AH, PHOEBE.
FROM THE MINUTE PHOEBE INTRODUCED US, I KNEW...
THAT I LOVED YOU.
I MEAN, IT WAS THAT QUICK, YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE LOVE COMES THAT QUICK.
IT'S LIKE A DECISION.
LOVE IS A DECISION THAT YOU MAKE, AND I MADE IT.
RIGHT THERE, ON THE SPOT.
WHAT I NEED FOR YOU TO KNOW
IS THAT OUR LOVE CAME QUICK, AND IT'S LASTED.
IT'S WEATHERED THE STORM.
BUT AS QUICKLY AS I MADE THAT DECISION 20 YEARS AGO TO LOVE YOU...
I'M TAKING IT BACK.
I DON'T WANT TO LOVE YOU ANYMORE.
I CHOOSE TO HATE YOU NOW.
NO, MITCH, DON'T--
IT'S ALREADY DONE.
JUST LIKE THAT.
SO I SUGGEST YOU GET OUTTA THE CAR...
BEFORE I PHYSICALLY REMOVE YOU FROM IT.
Bob: GOOD NEWS FOR LOCAL RESIDENTS TODAY.
HURRICANE CHRISTOPHER HAS TAKEN A SUDDEN DETOUR,
AND IT'S LEFT ONLY MODERATE DAMAGE TO CAPESIDE AND ITS SURROUNDING AREAS.
AND NOW THAT THE STORM IS OVER,
I GUESS IT'S TIME THAT WE CAN ALL FINALLY SAY GOOD-BYE
TO SOME TRULY, TRULY BAD WEATHER.
ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
IT'S BEEN A VERY INTERESTING DAY.
OH, ANYTIME.
UH, SORRY ABOUT THE GUNPLAY.
HEY...
I'D, UH, STILL LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT.
[NERVOUS LAUGH] OH, YEAH...
YOU KNOW, I--I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, DOUG.
I'M SEEING SOMEONE RIGHT NOW.
OH. WELL, FAIR ENOUGH.
OK.
LET'S GO, SQUIRT.
YES, SIR, DEPUTY DOUG.
I'M LEAVING, DAWSON. UM...
BUT BEFORE I GO, THERE ARE A FEW THINGS--
OK, LOOK, JEN--NO. HEAR ME OUT,
DAWSON, PLEASE, OK?
BECAUSE THIS SEEMS TO BE THE DAY OF TRUTHS,
AND I'M TAKING MY TURN.
[SOB]
I LOST MY VIRGINITY...
WHEN I WAS 12 TO SOME OLDER GUY WHO GOT ME DRUNK.
I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER HIS NAME,
BUT AFTER THE FIRST PREGNANCY SCARE,
I WENT ON THE PILL, AND I USED CONDOMS...
MOST OF THE TIME... SOME OF THE TIMES.
UM...
I DON'T KNOW, IT'S KINDA BLURRY.
I WAS REALLY-- I WAS REALLY DRINKING A LOT
AND HAVING BLACKOUTS AND STUFF AND...
[SNIFFLES]
[SIGHS]
I WAS SEXUALIZED WAY TOO YOUNG,
AND I DON'T WISH THAT ON ANYBODY.
I MEAN, SEX AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT IS A BAD IDEA.
I FINALLY GOT CAUGHT HAVING SEX IN MY PARENTS' BED.
DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL...
FORNICATING RIGHT BEFORE HIS VERY EYES.
HE STILL CAN'T LOOK ME IN THE FACE,
BUT THEN AGAIN HE SHIPPED ME 200 MILES AWAY
SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO.
BUT, DAWSON, I'M NOT THAT GIRL ANYMORE. I NEVER REALLY WAS.
AND I'M NOT THAT WHITE-AS-SNOW IMAGE YOU'VE GOT, EITHER.
I'M SOMEWHERE IN-BETWEEN,
AND I'M JUST-- I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.
JEN, Y-YOU DON'T NEED-- IT'S NOT...IT'S NOT YOU, OK?
IT'S MY OWN STUPID HANGUPS.
MY PARENTS HAVE THIS RAGING SEX LIFE,
AND I GUESS I SECRETLY USED IT AS A MEASURE OF HAPPINESS.
WELL, SEX DOESN'T EQUAL HAPPINESS.
JEN, I KNOW.
I KNOW THAT NOW.
I'M SORRY ABOUT LYING TO YOU.
BUT I CAN'T APOLOGIZE FOR MY PAST.
I MEAN, I'VE LEARNED FROM IT.
I'M A BETTER PERSON. IT'S GOTTEN ME HERE.
AND THIS IS MY CHANCE TO START OVER.
THIS IS MY CHANCE.
AND IT WOULD BE REALLY NICE IF YOU'D BE A PART OF THAT.
ON ONE CONDITION...
THAT YOU'LL HAVE ME.
BECAUSE, JEN, MY BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN UNREDEEMABLE...
AND I DON'T DESERVE SOMEONE AS...
PASSIONATE AND OPEN AND HONEST AND BEAUTIFUL AS YOU ARE.
TAKE 2?
[SNIFFLE] MM-HMM.
OHH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?
OH, I CIRCLED BACK.
IT'S LATE, PACEY.
I JUST HAD ONE MORE IF QUESTION.
HERE, I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
IF YOU COULD DO ANY ONE THING IN YOUR LIFE AGAIN,
WHAT WOULD IT BE?
WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED AN ABUSIVE, FAT STOCKBROKER.
SAME QUESTION, BACK AT YA.
WELL, I'D BE OLDER...
SO I COULD TELL THE WORLD ABOUT THIS WONDERFUL WOMAN
WHO I AM RAPIDLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH.
DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT IT WAS GOING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS
BY FLIRTING WITH DEPUTY DOUG?
FLIRTING? I DON'T FLIRT.
BECAUSE IF YOU DID,
IT'S EXCEEDINGLY UNNECESSARY.
I'M ALREADY JEALOUS OF EVERY GUY WHO'S EVER BEEN IN YOUR FIELD OF VISION...
WHO'S KNOWN THE SMELL OF YOUR HAIR...
WHO'S HELD YOUR BODY AGAINST HIS.
WE'RE GETTING SLOPPY, PACEY.
YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO END THIS. IT'S GETTING TOO DANGEROUS.
UHH! BUT...
TELL ME THAT ISN'T A TURN-ON.
OH, PACEY.
WAIT, I--
JUST ONE MORE QUESTION.
[EXHALES]
IF YOU COULD DO ANY ONE THING RIGHT NOW...
WHAT WOULD IT BE?
UNH.
SO WHY'D YOU DO IT?
GET READY, MITCH, BECAUSE IF YOU THINK IT CAN'T GET WORSE, IT CAN.
MY REASON IS PREPOSTEROUS.
I HAVE NO REASON.
NO. I WOKE UP ONE DAY, MITCH,
AND I REALIZED MY LIFE WAS PERFECT.
EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED FROM THE TIME I WAS 6 HAD BEEN REALIZED.
I DISCOVERED...
PERFECTION OBTAINED IS A DISCOMFORTING STATE.
AND I GOT RESTLESS.
WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN EVERYTHING IS RIGHT?
WHEN EVERYTHING IS JUST THE WAY YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED IT TO BE?
I HAVE THE PERFECT HOME.
A CAREER,
THE MOST GIFTED CHILD,
A HUSBAND WHO STIMULATES ME MIND, BODY, AND SOUL EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE.
I WANT FOR NOTHING.
AND I GUESS THAT LEFT ME FEELING EMPTY--NOT WANTING.
AND I JUST WANTED TO WANT AGAIN.
SO...I SET OUT TO ACHIEVE IT.
AND, BOY, DID I SUCCEED.
BECAUSE I WANT NOW.
I WANT BACK EVERYTHING THAT I'VE LOST.
MITCH...
I AM SO SORRY--
[SHUSHING]
LET'S JUST SIT HERE, ALL RIGHT?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ANYMORE.
[WHISPERS] OK.
[DOOR OPENS]
I WAS HOPING YOU'D STILL BE HERE.
JOEY, I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
I HAVE BEEN THOUGHTLESS
AND INSENSITIVE AND SELF-OBSESSED TO THE EXTREME.
BUT IF YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE TO RECTIFY MY BELLIGERENT WAYS,
I PROMISE I WILL MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO BE A FRIEND WORTHY OF YOU.
WELL, THAT WAS A MOUTHFUL.
[NERVOUS LAUGH]
LOOK, I'M SORRY FOR USING THE MOTHER CARD.
I KEEP IT IN MY BACK POCKET, AND IT'S WAY TOO EASY.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT.
JOE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I LOST MY MOTHER.
IT HURTS, DAWSON.
I MEAN, YOU'RE BORN, AND YOU DIE,
AND YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES IN-BETWEEN.
YOU KNOW?
FUNNY THING IS, YOU KNOW,
NOW THAT SHE'S GONE, I...
I CAN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER A SINGLE MISTAKE.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, JOEY?
I WANT TO BE A GOOD FRIEND. WHAT CAN I DO?
YOU KNOW, JUST FOR TONIGHT...
CAN WE PUT OUR RAPID ASCENT INTO ADULTHOOD ON HOLD?
PLEASE?
COME ON.
Dawson, as Capt. Quint: SHERIFF BRODY THAT'S A 20-FOOTER.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
Dawson, as Hooper: BOYS, I THINK HE'S COME BACK FOR HIS NOON FEEDING.
Joey, as Capt. Quint: I'VE GOT TO GET A GOOD SHOT AT THAT PORKER'S HEAD.
Dawson, as Chief Brody: SMILE, YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
Joey, as Chief Brody: WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT.