Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...
The First. That's what it wants.
To erase all the Slayers in training and their Watchers, along with their methods.
WILLOW: Buffy, he's been feeding.
He really didn't know what he'd done. Wasn't in his control.
It's a trigger. It's a brainwashing term.
It's how the military makes sleeper agents.
-Amy. -Can I come in?
If you really are my friend, you'd better stay away from me.
-Agent Finn, my implant? -The implant works.
Hostile 17 can't harm any living creature
in any way without intense neurological pain.
(shouting)
You think you could just do that to me?
(gunfire)
Tara?
Somebody! Help! (yells)
You wanna do the sleeping arrangements?
Okay. You, uh, better not hog the covers.
Are you sure you'll all be all right?
You'll only be gone for two days.
-I think we've managed a bit longer than that. -Right.
(sighs) Oh.
Dawn, Vi's left her notebook on the mantelpiece. Would you mind running it out to the car?
-Sure. -(sighs)
While you're at it, smack her on the head with it and remind her not to leave it lying around.
On it.
I'm just a little bit twitchy about leaving you alone again here
while-- while things are... in such a state of flux.
I know. But you should go.
This trip is important for the girls to understand the source of their power
and to know how to use it right.
I don't think they appreciate the gravity of what we're undertaking.
It's frightening and it's difficult.
And then apparently someone told them that the vision quest consists of
me driving them into the desert, doing the hokey pokey
until a spooky Rasta-mama Slayer
arrives and speaks to them in riddles.
-That's not exactly how I put it. I-- -(footsteps)
-BUFFY: Hey! How's Kennedy? -Still "fluey." Bummed about missing the field trip.
She says she wants you to meditate extra hard for her
and bring her back some s'mores.
Ah, yes, s'mores.
-I'm going to end up singing campfire songs, aren't I? -Oh, yeah.
-(door opens) -Giles, you might wanna get out there.
Oh, God. What?
Molly and Rona are fighting over who gets to drive the first leg.
Bet you wish you'd renewed that California State driver's license now, huh?
-Rona won. You should probably let Molly out of the trunk. -(honking)
-I never actually realized just how compact Molly really is. -(groans)
-Just please be safe while I'm away. -You too.
-Hey. -Hey.
Giles is off on the retreat.
-Give us all a chance for a breather, eh? -From Giles?
From the constant pitter-patter of clomping teenage girlie feet.
-I have no idea what you're talking about. -Come off it.
No, I enjoy my responsibility as mentor, role model, life guide.
Oh, my God. I cannot believe I have my bathroom all to myself for two whole days.
It's like a bloody war zone up there, and not in the good way.
Have you seen the kitchen since they've been here?
I'm just tryin' to stay out of their way.
I noticed.
Hmm. This is better.
Believe me, it's safer.
Okay. But you've been fine in close contact with the girls.
Yeah. With you by my side, yeah.
But, uh, you wouldn't let me hurt one of 'em.
And that's the way it's gonna be until we're sure the First is done making me its bitch.
Either we're together, or I'm on the leash.
We just need to make sure the trigger's deactivated then.
-We've got a couple of days, lack of pitter-patter and all. -Buffy?
What?
-Ow. -Ow?
Ow, ow. (gasps)
(groans)
What's wrong? Spike, what is going on?
(panting) The chip.
Oh, God. Why would--
(screams)
(groaning, screaming)
(theme music playing)
(teakettle whistling)
WILLOW: Hey. How is he?
Oh, in the "goes" part of "comes and goes."
Well, there seems to be a definite lack of screaming. That has to be good.
You'd think.
-That for the other patient? -Yeah.
Thought I'd bring her some tea. Help her feel better.
Mm-hmm.
-It's just tea. -(chuckles)
Wil?
How much do you know about the chip?
Spike's chip?
Well, I remember trying to dig up stuff back then,
but, you know, turns out
when a secret government agency studies vampires
and puts chips in their brains that keep them from hurting people,
they don't really build websites.
-Why? -Even with the chip,
Spike was able to hurt all those people when he was brainwashed.
Yeah, but he was under the control of the First.
Maybe something's wrong with it.
That chip is misfiring all on its own then.
Well, this'll be fun.
Remember when things used to be nice and boring?
No.
Have fun delivering the tea.
Okay, not when you make it sound all dirty like that.
It's just tea.
(knocking)
Hey. I figure the best thing for a cold is a nice hot cup of--
Boots?
-Hey. -For someone who's sick,
you look surprisingly robust and... casual dressy.
Well, the lighting in here is good. Maybe it's just the--
You were never sick.
No, I was never sick.
Oh, you are so busted.
-Xander's gonna have to drive you to the desert-- -Willow!
Chill. There's a reason I didn't go.
I have a thing-- a separate thing.
-What? -Something's coming down.
I have my own mission, and I need your help.
♪ So I can be ♪
♪ Happy again ♪
This is a mission?
Oh. Yeah.
And the little paper umbrellas are a signal for what?
-We're not on a mission, are we? -Hey, trust me.
I told you. I have a thing.
Come on! Come on! Just hang out with me a little.
(music continues)
You're sexy when you pout.
Why do you do that?
To get you to stay.
All right, I'll stay for one drink. Then I'm going home.
Okay, one drink.
I can work with that.
Let's start with the easy stuff.
How long have you known?
-That you were gay. -Wait. That's easy?
And what, you just assume that I'm-- I'm gay?
I mean, presume much?
Okay, sorry. How long have you enjoyed having sex with women?
Hey!
And what, you think you have some sort of special "lesbidar" or something?
Okay, you know there's a better word for that, right?
You really haven't been getting out there much, have you?
Well, I just--
Can you always tell just-- just by looking at someone?
No. No, of course not.
That wouldn't be any fun.
The fun part is the process of getting to know a girl.
It's like-- It's like flirting in code.
It's using body language and...
laughing at the right jokes and...
and looking into her eyes...
and knowing she's still whispering to you,
even when she's not saying a word.
And that sense that if you can just touch her...
just once,
everything will be okay for both of you.
That's how you can tell.
Or if she's really hot, you just get her drunk, see if she comes on to you.
Three years ago. That's when I knew.
And it wasn't women. It was woman. Just one.
Lucky woman.
Popped another blood vessel, I think.
There's gotta be a reason why the chip is going all wonky.
Maybe it's related to the trigger.
Or maybe it has something to do with the new soul.
Or maybe I wasn't meant to last this long.
One more thing you and I have in common, eh, pet?
-Well, we'll fix it. We'll hit serious research mode. -Good.
Try behavior modification software throughout the ages.
Okay. You're right.
Not a book thing. It's a phone thing.
Who you gonna call?
-God, that phrase is never gonna be usable again, is it? -Doubt it.
-Do your parents know? -Yeah.
My mom was-- was all proud,
like I was making some political statement.
And then the statement mojo wore off, and I was just gay.
She hardly ever even met Tara.
-Classic. -I didn't mind.
-Tara and I are kind of private. -I'm sorry.
-It must have been-- -Were, I mean, private.
Yes, Agent Finn. Riley.
Tell him we're having a problem with Spike's chip.
No, his chip.
-Spike. -Listen, pet--
Well, no, no, Finn is his last name. Yeah.
Well, did he use to work there and maybe he got transferred?
-(gasps) -Oh.
Is this actually a flower shop,
or is this one of those things where I'm supposed to play along...
to show that I know it's really secret ops?
Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Um, okay.
-Right. -(sighs)
Well, if some guy named Finn shows up to buy flowers--
Yeah. Thanks.
(sighs) Wrong number, or a giant government conspiracy.
One of the--
-Spike? -(sniffles)
This one seemed easier than the others.
See? Probably just gonna fade--
(screaming)
It was Gone with the Wind.
I saw that and I knew I wanted to sweep Scarlett off her feet.
-You were five. -Well, I'm not saying the sweeping would have been easy.
(music continues)
-What? -I just--
I still don't get it.
Why you like me. I mean, you don't even know me.
Have you seen you?
And we like the same things--
Italian, skate punk,
Robert Parker mysteries, fighting evil.
I don't like any of that stuff, except the fighting evil part.
But even then I'd prefer a nice foot massage.
Okay. I dig the way
you always turn off the Moulin Rouge DVD at chapter 32...
so it has a happy ending.
I like the way you speak.
It's interesting.
And your freckles.
Lickable.
I'm not so into the magic stuff.
Seems like fairy-tale crap to me, but it matters to you.
You care about it.
So, it's cool.
Well, this is my stop.
So--
Glad we talked.
Yes. Kind of cleared the air, huh?
Yeah, totally. Air cleared. Check.
-You know, in the spirit of air clearing... -Yeah?
I feel like I need to be honest about something.
-Is something wrong? -No. No.
It's just...
I think you should know.
WARREN: Well, that was nice.
Are you okay?
I'm not used to literally knocking girls off their feet with just the power of my lips.
Okay, are you gonna pick that up, or--
I don't-- What are you?
Is this a freckle thing, 'cause--
Oh, God. Oh, God.
What is that?
It's the man that I killed.
Okay. Hold up a sec!
-(all gasp) -Guys?
-Get Buffy! Tell her the First is back! -No, I'm not the First.
We're not interested in any of your evil lies. We've heard 'em all.
-No, guys, it's me. -WARREN: I'm me. I'm Willow. Guys, come on.
-Ask Kennedy. She was there. -KENNEDY: I don't know.
I'm not sure. We were up in Willow's room and we were--
No.
-No. You're back. -No, I'm not. It's not-- I'm not it. Listen to me!
No more listening. I know who you are now. I know what you made me do.
Your promises of happy fields and dancing schnauzers...
-and being demigods won't work on me anymore. -ANYA: Buffy?
-And the Bringers are probably coming too. -No, I'm not the First.
You made me do things. Things I can never take back ever.
-I'm not the First! -What the hell is going on in here?
-Ow! -Buffy?
-Wait. -ANYA: But if he's the First--
-I'm not the First. -You're not the First.
I know!
Oh, my God.
-You're back. -Hey! Bad touching.
-(groaning) -Everyone, please stop. It's me.
-It's Willow. -I'm Willow.
-Are you sure? -There are other stories from kindergarten--
non-yellow crayon stories in which you don't come out in such a good light.
An incident involving Aquaman underoos, for example.
-You want me to start talkin'? -Hey, Willow.
-What happened? -I don't know.
Uh, we were there, and-- and then I looked like him.
Oh. Like a glamour.
Maybe. But I probably brought it on myself.
-What makes you think that? -Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
And I have a history with my witchy subconscious making things go "kerfloopy."
Remember the wacky "I can't see you, you can't see me" spell?
-Guys! -It's so real.
-Yeah. All too aware. -BUFFY: Okay, say you're right
and you did do this to yourself. Why would your subconscious turn you into Warren?
Obviously, because I feel bad about killing him.
Look, we'll-- we'll deal.
-We'll get help. -No, I can handle this.
-On your own? Why? -I did it. I'll fix it.
-And I don't want you to see me this way anyway. -It's a little late for that.
-Seriously, I'm not posing any big threat to the world. -(moaning)
And it looks like you've got your hands full already.
I'll go. I'll handle it. I'll fix it.
And I'll be back before you even know I'm gone.
Promise.
Spike?
-Buffy. -I'm right here.
-SPIKE: The chip fired again. -BUFFY: I kind of figured.
Maybe they'll call back. Maybe they'll send help.
Maybe we can't wait.
-(gasps) -Okay.
Safe to say no one will ever accuse you of being too butch.
-Kennedy, go home. -Come on.
I mean, you turned into a guy.
I mean, if you take a step back, seriously, there's a certain element of humor here, right?
Well, a really, really big step.
I killed him. It's hard to see the chuckles.
-So, you got a plan? -Yep. I'm gonna get some help reversing it.
-I thought you were gonna try it yourself. -I did try.
It didn't work. Something's blocking me.
Well, all the more reason for me to go with you. Plus, I was there with you when it happened.
Let me come to try to help too.
I really think I'm fine with the handling.
-By yourself? Why? -I'm the one that killed him.
I-- It's hard to understand.
Given. How about I just tag along anyway? Keep you company.
I'm taking that as a "Yes."
Fine. Come.
Try not to get in the way.
You know where you're going?
To see some old friends of mine.
It's been a while, but maybe they can help.
Are you sure you still wanna go back in this place with me?
Eh, nothing good on TV tonight.
-Here we are. -Yep, here we are.
-Do you think this stuff's still good? -I don't know.
It worked pretty good when the Initiative held me captive here.
Every time I'd get a little... rambunctious,
the chip would kick in and I'd feel like my head was gonna explode.
They'd dope me up and everything would be all daffodils and teddy bears.
For a couple of hours anyway.
Maybe we should search for files and stuff.
Find out everything we can about the chip-- shelf life.
I'll take whatever I can get.
-Ready? -Yeah.
-(phone ringing) -I'll get it.
I'm supposed to get a call when the new League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comes in.
-I gave them this number. -Can you see if you can get two?
Summers' residence. This is Andrew speaking. How can I help you?
Loser.
Hey, do we know some British guy named Robson?
He was attacked,
this Robson guy in England.
And Giles was there helpin' him.
And there was a Bringer.
-Xander-- -Robson blacked out, but the last thing he remembers
is Giles's head about to get real familiar with the Bringer's very sharp ax.
-Oh, my God. -Giles never mentioned any of this.
Robson said by the time he came to,
there was no Giles.
So, what are we saying?
Maybe Giles just didn't wanna talk about it.
Or maybe he didn't make it.
Look, I'm not saying it's a happy scenario,
but we're dealing with a Big Bad that can be any dead person it wants.
Because if you wanna infiltrate the inner circle of the Slayer--
You become the one person she trusts more than anybody else.
But there's no way that we can know.
Actually, that's not true.
The First can't take corporeal form, so it can't touch anything.
Well, it's not like Giles hasn't touched anything, right?
Has anyone seen
Giles touch anything since he got back?
Hold anything?
Has anybody hugged him?
Think very hard.
-Wait a minute. Where are you-- -Desert. We're gonna find Giles.
Oh, good. Let me just get some tapes for the car. I've been working on this mix--
-XANDER: You're not coming. -What? Why?
'Cause I used to be evil?
No. Actually, because you're annoying, but that's a good reason too.
Wait. Don't-- Don't leave me here all alone.
-I keep getting attacked in this house. -Actually, Xander--
What if this is all part of the plan-- drive you guys away so it can have its way with me?
-Ever think of that? -I'll risk it.
Okay. Well, if you leave me here alone, I'll do something evil,
like burning something,
or gluing things together.
For crying out loud, Harris. Let's just take him.
-At least we can keep an eye on him. -(sighs)
-Xander? -I know. They're out there all alone, all of 'em.
Instill us, O Great One,
with peace, with strength,
with compassion,
with hope.
The path we seek is yours.
Keep us on that path.
Oh, hey. Wow. This is new.
-Um, hi. We're-- -WARREN: Oh, hey.
I'm sorry. Willow.
We actually met when I was a freshman,
and also not a boy.
-This is Kennedy. -Hey.
-You're Willow? -Yeah.
Wow. Look at you guys.
Campus Wiccans. I guess you got past the whole bake-sale phase.
No. We still do that too, second Tuesday of every month.
I'm sorry. I'm kind of having a hard time with the whole guy event thing.
AMY: Um, it's actually her.
I can tell.
-I know her. -Okay. Whoa.
Um, okay. Here's the thing. Hi.
Here's the thing. I'll just get this out of the way.
I'm sort of screwed up. But I mean, you already knew that because you lived it.
-Gotcha. -But she's doing so much better now. Amy.
It's okay, Vaughne. I wanna do this.
It took me a long time to really see myself.
But I did. 'Cause that's the crazy thing about hitting rock bottom--
you get to relive all the crappy things that you did.
And I wanted to come find you and tell you...
that I was here working on things with these guys.
And that they're good. And that I was sorry.
But you're here,
looking like--
Wow. How did this happen?
That's what we're here to find out. I mean, if we're done with all the group hugging.
I got hit with this, like, glamour thing, and I can't seem to shake it myself.
I was hoping that someone here might be able to help.
Yeah. See, the thing is we're more about healing spirits
and nurturing our life force here.
Oh.
But we'll try.
-AMY: Her spirit's true-- -What if she can't handle this?
You have a better idea?
Give back the form the soul requires, see that the balance is put right.
-(whooshing) -(screams)
-It didn't work? -No, it didn't, you dumb bitch!
Willow!
-You slapped me. -No, I-I-I didn't.
It wasn't me.
It was Warren.
Willow? Willow?
Okay, you're upset.
Upset? Upset? Are you just tuning in? Did you not see that?
I'm turning into him.
It's not a trick. It's not a glamour. I'm becoming him--
a murderous, misogynist man!
Do you understand what he did-- what I could do?
I killed him for a reason.
Getting angry isn't helping. We can still try it.
You understand nothing about magic.
And in case you haven't noticed, our little date, it's over.
Willow.
Willow, wait!
BUFFY: Careful.
Oh, God.
They just left 'em.
SPIKE: They just sealed the place off.
Left everything as it was.
BUFFY: I'm thinkin' brief stay.
Yeah. You're not wrong.
I think I can get us to the med lab.
Find the drug.
(metal creaking)
Okay, I'll go. 'R'.
Ghost is hard to play by yourself.
-How long since they left? -XANDER: A few hours.
If it is the First-- and I'm not saying it is--
what are we expecting to find?
He didn't bring them out there to meditate.
Kinda makes you grateful you weren't a Potential after all,
doesn't it-- safer?
-Well, not so fast with the "phew." -He might know we're coming.
Which means we're already too late. And we're heading out to the middle of nowhere.
With no Slayer, no powerful witch.
Just a teenager, a powerless former demon, and two big geeks.
Okay, license plate game maybe?
Look at me. Crying like a little girl.
(metal creaking)
-Do you hear that? -Yep.
Think something survived?
Sounds like.
-Do you see where? -No.
But it sounded like it was coming from over there.
Whatever it is, it's not--
-(roaring) -(grunts)
SPIKE: Buffy!
(footsteps approaching)
-Where'd they go? -They took off.
That was a little too creepy, even for us.
You're really worried about her.
Look, she's gonna be fine, really.
She's good at this. She's strong.
And she's dealt with a lot worse,
long before she went and found herself a big, old potential Slayer bodyguard, okay?
Just have a little faith in her.
I never said I was a potential Slayer.
Oh. No, I think you did when you first got here. You told us--
No, I didn't.
How did you know... who I was?
Oops.
Oh, no!
No! God, no! Not now!
Spike? (grunts)
So, same model as last time?
How'd that work out for you?
You'd be amazed.
-(screams) -Touch him! Touch him!
-I feel him! I feel him! -Me too.
-Good. We all feel each other.
Including some of us who don't know each other well enough to take such liberties.
Thank you.
I assume there is a perfectly reasonable and not at all insane explanation, yes?
We thought you might be non-corporeal evil.
-We got a call. We couldn't remember you touching anything. -Had to make sure you were okay.
-We were worried. -Oh.
Ah. Yes, well, that's very sweet.
Now wait a minute. You thought--
You think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and don't touch them?
Spike?
(roaring)
(grunts)
(groaning)
Hey.
Are you still with us?
Yeah.
Well, that guy was--
Just the beginning.
-What's happening? -MAN: Miss Summers.
Agent Finn reported that you tried to contact him earlier today.
I knew it! Government conspiracy.
He indicated you might be needing our assistance.
We're to provide you anything you need to help "assface" here.
Those were his exact words, ma'am.
Med team tells me they took a look at the chip.
You were right. It's degraded.
Leave it as it is much longer and it'll be fatal to him.
-Okay. So, how long till-- -Now, ma'am.
Right. Of course. Um, well, what do we do next?
Agent Finn said it was your call, ma'am.
My-- What was my call?
All decisions regarding Hostile 17 are to be left in your hands.
His chip-- we can either repair it,
or remove it.
Tell me why you did this to her.
(grunts)
-What did you do to her? -What? To Willow?
-Oh, just your standard penance malediction is all. -Okay.
And that's magic crazy talk for what?
-I put a hex on her. -Got that part.
But why Warren?
And why did it happen after we kissed?
(chuckles)
That's rich.
That must have been some kiss.
You must be good.
Answer me.
The hex I cast lets the victims' subconscious pick the form of their punishment.
It's always better than anything I can come up with. Elegant, you know?
Undo it. Let her out.
Okay. Oh, wait. I forgot. No.
Why would you do this to her? You really hate her that much?
(sighs) This is not about hate.
It's about power.
Willow always had all the power.
Long before she even knew what to do with it.
It just came so easy for her. The rest of us,
we had to work twice as hard to be half as good.
But no one cares about how hard you work.
They just care about cute, sweet Willow.
They don't know how weak she is.
She gave in to evil and stuff worse than I can even imagine.
She almost destroyed the world.
And yet everyone keeps on loving her?
So what's wrong with having a little fun, huh? Taking her down a peg or two?
Fun? She's disappearing.
Fading away in that creep, and you think it's fun.
It was just a game. It's not my fault that she's losing herself.
I'm gonna stop you now, you know.
Hey, I'm not the bad guy here.
But I wonder where he'd be right about now. (snaps finger)
Well, that was a hell of a thing.
Think you can just do that to me-- that I'd let you get away with it?
Do? Get away with--
Okay. Let's not get excited.
It's too late for that. This is what I am.
I made it happen, and I'll make it stop.
Willow, what did you make happen?
You were there, bitch. You saw it.
I killed her.
You mean "him."
Her. Him. You know what I mean.
But you said "her."
No. That was Warren.
No. No, it wasn't. You said I was there.
-Who did you kill, Willow? -It was your fault, slut!
You tricked me. Got me to forget.
-Tara-- -Shut up!
Shut up! You do not get to say her name.
Offering it up to whoever's there.
Tricking me into kissing you.
I didn't-- I didn't mean to--
What I'm saying, I can't make-- Kennedy?
I can't hold on. He's winning.
-No. -I'm being punished.
I-- I kissed you just-- just for a second,
but it-- it was enough.
I let her go. I didn't mean to.
-Kissing me didn't mean that-- -No!
She was never gone. She was with me.
We should have been forever.
And I-- I let her be dead.
She's really dead. And I killed her.
Willow, no.
Please, baby. I'm so sorry.
WARREN: Come back! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Come back!
Willow.
I don't think you did anything wrong.
This is just magic.
And I think I'm figuring the whole magic thing out.
-It's just like fairy tales. -What are you doing?
Bringing you back to life.
(sighs) Hmm.
I am good.
It's me? I'm back?
Oh, God.
Are you all right?
I have no idea.
I'm so tired.
Yeah.
I'll make you some tea.
(theme music playing)
Grr! Arrgh!