1 00:00:02,021 --> 00:00:03,771 Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 2 00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,521 Spike, this is the Hellmouth. 3 00:00:05,521 --> 00:00:08,688 You have a soul? Fine. Show me. 4 00:00:08,688 --> 00:00:11,813 - Get out of this basement. - I don't have anywhere else to go. 5 00:00:11,813 --> 00:00:14,021 There will always be vengeance demons. 6 00:00:14,021 --> 00:00:16,688 But now you, Anya, You're out. 7 00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:20,104 Whatever's between us, it doesn't matter. 8 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:21,896 You shouldn't be alone in this. 9 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,271 Yes, I should. 10 00:00:27,813 --> 00:00:30,021 You're gonna live in the small room there. 11 00:00:30,021 --> 00:00:32,396 Looks like a closet, but it's a room now. You're not gonna touch my food. 12 00:00:32,396 --> 00:00:36,187 I take the first shower, and if I use up all the hot water, that's your tough noogies. 13 00:00:36,187 --> 00:00:39,855 And I hate this plan. Are you keepin' up, or do you need some kind... 14 00:00:39,855 --> 00:00:42,229 of English to constant-pain-in-my-ass translation? 15 00:00:42,229 --> 00:00:45,771 Invitation? Is there something more emphatic than "hate"? 16 00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:48,438 Can I "revile" the plan? 17 00:00:48,438 --> 00:00:53,729 Fine. I invite you in, nimrod. 18 00:00:53,729 --> 00:00:56,938 Don't want your sodding food anyway. 19 00:00:56,938 --> 00:01:00,729 I don't understand when his problems became your problems-- more specifically, mine. 20 00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:03,354 The school basement is making him crazy. We can't just leave him there. 21 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:08,396 Why not? Crazy Basement Guy is better than Stalking Buffy Guy. 22 00:01:08,396 --> 00:01:11,229 It's true. You guys aren't-- 23 00:01:11,229 --> 00:01:15,438 You're not starting up again with the whole-- No. A thousand gallons of "No." 24 00:01:15,438 --> 00:01:20,062 It's just, things are different now. He has a soul. 25 00:01:20,062 --> 00:01:23,855 I'm sure that'll be a real comfort when he soulfully attacks you again. 26 00:01:23,855 --> 00:01:27,563 Yeah. What does that mean, exactly, that Spike is all soul-having? 27 00:01:27,563 --> 00:01:30,563 [ Sighs ] I don't know. 28 00:01:30,563 --> 00:01:33,646 But he's been through a lot, okay? And nobody is attacking-- Buffy? 29 00:01:33,646 --> 00:01:36,980 [ Gasps ] Sorry. 30 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:40,646 No, it's me. I just-- I'll go. This can't work. 31 00:01:40,646 --> 00:01:46,563 It will. It already is, okay? You know, you've been out of the basement for half an hour, 32 00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:49,229 and you've already stopped talking to invisible people. Bollocks. 33 00:01:49,229 --> 00:01:52,021 Okay, so there was that one episode in the car, but-- 34 00:01:52,021 --> 00:01:55,396 No. Bollocks to the whole thing. I don't need your mollycoddling. It's not coddling. 35 00:01:56,771 --> 00:02:00,271 Now go to your closet. 36 00:02:00,271 --> 00:02:02,271 [ Footsteps Departing ] [ Sighs ] 37 00:02:02,271 --> 00:02:05,438 [ Dawn ] So, what is it? [ Buffy ] What's what? 38 00:02:05,438 --> 00:02:08,563 [ Dawn ] Last night, you said you weren't helping Spike out of pity. 39 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,771 What is it? It's a good question. 40 00:02:13,938 --> 00:02:18,187 Is sitting there drinking soda some kind of a Zen non-answer? 41 00:02:19,688 --> 00:02:21,521 [ Sighs ] No. I just-- 42 00:02:23,688 --> 00:02:26,563 I don't know what I'm feeling. I-- 43 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:30,104 I think I can't stand him, but then sometimes-- 44 00:02:31,438 --> 00:02:33,980 You love him? No. 45 00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:38,563 I-- I feel for him. 46 00:02:38,563 --> 00:02:42,146 Feel what, exactly? Dawn-- 47 00:02:42,146 --> 00:02:45,438 No, um, I'm just trying to understand. 48 00:02:45,438 --> 00:02:48,271 I mean, none of it makes sense. 49 00:02:48,271 --> 00:02:52,813 First you say Spike disgusts you, but secretly you two are doin' it like bunnies. 50 00:02:52,813 --> 00:02:57,354 And then Spike says he'd die for you, but he tries to rape you. 51 00:02:57,354 --> 00:03:02,729 [ Sighs ] For the record, Spike knew how wrong it was, and that's why he went away. 52 00:03:02,729 --> 00:03:07,146 But to get a soul, like that would make him a better man? 53 00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:10,354 Xander had a soul when he stood Anya up at the altar. 54 00:03:10,354 --> 00:03:14,230 And now he says he still wants her? 55 00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:17,354 I just don't think it's the school basement that's making people crazy. 56 00:03:18,813 --> 00:03:21,312 Oh, I should really get back. You coming with? 57 00:03:21,312 --> 00:03:23,813 I just don't see why people bother. 58 00:03:23,813 --> 00:03:28,312 I mean, you put all this energy into chasing and having and brooding, and... 59 00:03:28,312 --> 00:03:31,312 I just don't understand these relationships where you all do insane things. 60 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:34,688 Bye, rant-girl. Well, you could, like, paint a beautiful mural... 61 00:03:34,688 --> 00:03:36,896 on every ugly wall in the world, 62 00:03:36,896 --> 00:03:40,438 and then you could paint a beautiful mural on every ugly mural in the wor-- 63 00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:48,729 ♪ [ "Theme to A Summer Place" ] 64 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,688 ♪ [ Continues ] 65 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,104 [ Yelps ] [ Clatters ] 66 00:05:04,563 --> 00:05:06,521 [ Growling ] 67 00:05:08,146 --> 00:05:10,938 Maybe I'm not even the right Anyanka. Ever think about that? 68 00:05:10,938 --> 00:05:13,271 I mean, tons of Anyankas out there. 69 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,813 [ Blows Landing ] Maybe one of them pissed off this, uh-- 70 00:05:16,813 --> 00:05:18,855 What did you say his name was? D'Hoffryneffer? 71 00:05:19,855 --> 00:05:21,896 [ Groans ] 72 00:05:24,479 --> 00:05:26,855 Good thing I stopped by and heard screaming. 73 00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:33,855 So, I guess D'Hoffryn decided to take you out after all? 74 00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:36,938 Yeah. He's, uh, 75 00:05:38,187 --> 00:05:40,104 not head of vengeance for nothing. 76 00:05:42,563 --> 00:05:46,729 Well, thank you for the generous life-saving. Now, 77 00:05:46,729 --> 00:05:48,563 please go away. 78 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,271 Look, I don't need anyone's help. 79 00:05:57,521 --> 00:06:00,563 Or, okay, clearly I do, 80 00:06:00,563 --> 00:06:03,896 but I don't want to need anyone's help, so... 81 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:06,312 stop helping. 82 00:06:06,312 --> 00:06:08,938 I get it. 83 00:06:08,938 --> 00:06:12,688 After last week you feel you need to be all renegade and broody. 84 00:06:12,688 --> 00:06:14,896 Taking yourself out of the loop-- 85 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:18,896 I need to figure out who I am. Another, something bad is happening. 86 00:06:18,896 --> 00:06:24,021 I don't want my friends out there alone right now, okay? 87 00:06:28,771 --> 00:06:31,563 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 88 00:06:31,563 --> 00:06:35,187 Well, I-- I guess you guys could use my help. 89 00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:40,438 Willow's not very good with the practical strategizing... except when she's evil. 90 00:06:40,438 --> 00:06:43,312 And Dawn, she's not really good for anything. 91 00:06:43,312 --> 00:06:47,771 [ Woman ] ♪ When I think of you ♪ 92 00:06:47,771 --> 00:06:50,813 ♪ I think ♪ [ Sighs ] 93 00:06:50,813 --> 00:06:53,813 ♪ I'm just a fool ♪ [ Mouthing Words ] 94 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:58,396 ♪ With handsome drink ♪ 95 00:06:58,396 --> 00:07:01,729 ♪ It never fails ♪ 96 00:07:01,729 --> 00:07:07,688 ♪ That I can't sleep Dreamin' of you ♪ 97 00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:10,813 [ Girl ] You guys, I've been thinking about it, and I think I can still cheer. 98 00:07:10,813 --> 00:07:14,813 I mean, I could use a chair, or we all could, like the Laker Girls. 99 00:07:14,813 --> 00:07:17,729 Oh, honey, you need to concentrate on getting better. 100 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,688 Don't worry. We'll find a replacement for you tomorrow. 101 00:07:20,688 --> 00:07:22,396 I just feel like I let you down. 102 00:07:23,438 --> 00:07:25,479 [ Dawn ] Hey, R.J. 103 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,354 Oh. Dawn. 104 00:07:28,354 --> 00:07:30,438 Hey, Summers. 105 00:07:30,438 --> 00:07:33,771 Um, so, I-I was wondering, 106 00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:37,312 you had Mr. Gurin for English back at your old school, right? 107 00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:40,521 We all did. 108 00:07:42,021 --> 00:07:44,229 I have him this year. 109 00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:53,021 - What a drag. - I actually kinda liked him. 110 00:07:53,021 --> 00:07:57,479 Right. Right. Uh, no, no. I like him. It's just, 111 00:07:57,479 --> 00:08:00,896 you know, I-I meant "drag" in a good, fun way. 112 00:08:00,896 --> 00:08:05,479 So, are the tryouts tomorrow? You gonna make the new girls jump up and down a lot, right?1 113 00:08:05,479 --> 00:08:07,354 [ Scoffs ] God, gross. 114 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,062 A vending machine fell on Cheryl, 115 00:08:09,062 --> 00:08:11,688 and all you can think about is new cheerleaders? 116 00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:16,062 [ Chuckles ] Hey, um, so, you know, 117 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:18,146 I heard someone saying yesterday that... 118 00:08:18,146 --> 00:08:21,188 we're gonna go all the way to the championships this year... 119 00:08:21,188 --> 00:08:24,146 in football. 120 00:08:24,146 --> 00:08:26,521 We actually have a good shot, considering we're a new team. 121 00:08:26,521 --> 00:08:30,938 Yeah, if you can get us past Highland, we got a good shot. Oh, like you could do better? 122 00:08:30,938 --> 00:08:34,146 - We'll see. - You think coach would start you at quarterback over me? 123 00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:37,855 I'm just saying. The quarterback is the most important member of the team. 124 00:08:37,855 --> 00:08:40,312 He is like the rudder that guides the ship. 125 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:46,688 Right. Could I give you a hand with that? 126 00:08:46,688 --> 00:08:49,229 - Would you really? - Oh, it's okay. She can do it herself. 127 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,646 Hey, we're all on the same team, right? 128 00:08:55,813 --> 00:08:58,813 Yeah. You're all on the team. 129 00:09:01,104 --> 00:09:04,312 We'll talk later, guys. That's cool. 130 00:09:05,604 --> 00:09:08,688 [ Man ] ♪ Well, if you took to me ♪ 131 00:09:08,688 --> 00:09:13,312 ♪ Like a gull takes to the wind ♪ 132 00:09:13,312 --> 00:09:17,438 ♪ Well, I'd have jumped from my trees ♪ 133 00:09:17,438 --> 00:09:21,479 ♪ And I'd have danced like the king of the eyesores ♪ Go, Razorbacks! 134 00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:24,271 ♪ And the rest of our lives ♪ 135 00:09:24,271 --> 00:09:26,604 [ Scattered Applause ] [ Girl ] Okay. Awesome. Thank you. 136 00:09:26,604 --> 00:09:28,771 Up next we have... 137 00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:31,855 Dawn Summers. 138 00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:41,312 - Nice outfit. - [ Crowd Chuckles ] 139 00:09:45,896 --> 00:09:50,479 [ Chanting ] Razorbacks! Razorbacks! We're gonna play. 140 00:09:50,479 --> 00:09:54,521 We've got a secret weapon, and his name is R.J.! 141 00:09:54,521 --> 00:09:58,521 Hear us cheer, hear us yell. Listen what we say. 142 00:09:58,521 --> 00:10:03,563 Razorbacks! Razorbacks! Go, R.J.! 143 00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:05,771 [ Yelps ] 144 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,813 Whoa. 145 00:10:07,813 --> 00:10:13,146 [ Girl ] Okay. Thank you. Very spirited. 146 00:10:19,271 --> 00:10:23,479 Come on, Dawnie. Come out. [ Sobbing ] 147 00:10:23,479 --> 00:10:25,604 Dawn, sweetheart, it's not that bad. 148 00:10:25,604 --> 00:10:29,312 How would you even know? R.J.'s never gonna notice me now. 149 00:10:29,312 --> 00:10:32,062 From what you said, I'm sure he already noticed you. 150 00:10:32,062 --> 00:10:35,563 I mean, with the falling and the... spirit! Spirit! 151 00:10:35,563 --> 00:10:39,271 He--They said you were spirited, right? Go away! 152 00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:41,855 Dawn. [ Sobbing ] 153 00:10:41,855 --> 00:10:44,354 Things a lot better, I see. 154 00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:47,021 I don't think tonight's gonna be good for videos, Xand. 155 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:51,438 Right, with the wailing and the crying. Still better than a cozy evening with Spike. 156 00:10:51,438 --> 00:10:54,980 Shall I order a pizza? Don't teens in a snit like pizza? 157 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:57,479 It is not a snit. 158 00:10:57,479 --> 00:11:01,396 I-I finally met him-- the guy of my dreams, okay-- and I blew it. 159 00:11:01,396 --> 00:11:03,563 R.J. hates me now. 160 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,729 Dawn, what is that? 161 00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:09,729 Just the end of my life. [ Sobs ] 162 00:11:15,771 --> 00:11:18,062 Remember when she used to have a crush on me? 163 00:11:18,062 --> 00:11:19,771 I miss the much cuter "me" crush. 164 00:11:21,438 --> 00:11:27,271 ♪ [ Rock, On Speaker, Low ] 165 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,312 You shredded my outfit. 166 00:11:31,312 --> 00:11:33,646 I'll buy you a new one. 167 00:11:33,646 --> 00:11:36,980 That's not the point. I don't want a new cheerleading outfit. 168 00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:39,354 Now, now, let's not be hasty. 169 00:11:39,354 --> 00:11:41,187 Not the right time. 170 00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,146 [ Sighs ] 171 00:11:48,479 --> 00:11:51,229 Dawn, I'm sorry that you feel so bad. 172 00:11:51,229 --> 00:11:54,438 Okay? But in the morning, this won't seem so terrible. [ Sniffles ] 173 00:11:54,438 --> 00:11:58,396 You don't even know this R.J. Not really. 174 00:11:58,396 --> 00:12:02,146 I do know him. I know his soul. 175 00:12:02,146 --> 00:12:08,187 Really? Dawn, he wasn't even on your radar yesterday. It's the jacket. 176 00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:11,688 It's true. Something about the big letter on the chest. Makes girls get all swoony and crushy. 177 00:12:11,688 --> 00:12:13,604 I saw it all the time in school. 178 00:12:13,604 --> 00:12:16,855 You couldn't pin any old felt letter to your coat and get play. 179 00:12:16,855 --> 00:12:18,855 Not that I tried. 180 00:12:18,855 --> 00:12:21,354 It isn't a crush. 181 00:12:21,354 --> 00:12:25,187 It's love. I love R.J. 182 00:12:25,187 --> 00:12:29,855 Again, since yesterday. Dawn, it's awfully fast. 183 00:12:29,855 --> 00:12:34,646 What, you're telling me I don't feel what I feel? No, of course not. 184 00:12:34,646 --> 00:12:40,354 I believe that you think it's real. It seems real to you. 185 00:12:40,354 --> 00:12:42,563 [ Scoffs ] Know what? 186 00:12:42,563 --> 00:12:44,771 Maybe I don't want advice from the dysfunction queen. 187 00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:50,396 You have no idea how I feel. 188 00:12:50,396 --> 00:12:53,771 You have no idea what real love is. 189 00:12:53,771 --> 00:12:57,021 Maybe if you did, you wouldn't make fun of me this way. 190 00:12:57,021 --> 00:13:00,646 Dawn, I'm not making fun of you. Just go. 191 00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:02,521 Leave me alone. 192 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,729 [ Bell Rings ] 193 00:13:11,187 --> 00:13:14,521 Hey, Brooks. Uh, I just talked to the coach. 194 00:13:14,521 --> 00:13:18,229 Yeah? I told you, man. All those fumbles in practice-- he was gonna come down on you. 195 00:13:18,229 --> 00:13:21,021 I'm starting on Saturday. 196 00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:24,688 Great. Who knew fumblin' all the time was the key? 197 00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:28,646 It's just time to let someone else have a turn, man. And you knew this was comin'. 198 00:13:28,646 --> 00:13:30,521 Yeah, sure. 199 00:13:34,896 --> 00:13:36,646 [ Book Clatters In Locker ] 200 00:13:38,938 --> 00:13:41,646 You can't do this to R.J. 201 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:45,729 Oh, hey, it's you. Nice cheering the other day. [ Chuckle ] 202 00:13:45,729 --> 00:13:51,021 It isn't fair. He works so hard. What do you care? I mean, this is how the game is played. 203 00:13:51,021 --> 00:13:56,396 It's dog eat dog. May the best man win. But nobody's better than R.J. 204 00:13:56,396 --> 00:14:00,855 [ Chuckles ] Yeah, well, that's not really up to you, is it, hmm? 205 00:14:17,146 --> 00:14:19,146 It all happened so fast. 206 00:14:19,146 --> 00:14:21,896 I mean, one minute he was walking, and the next... 207 00:14:21,896 --> 00:14:23,855 he stumbled and then he fell. 208 00:14:23,855 --> 00:14:28,271 Why would he say you pushed him down the stairs? 209 00:14:28,271 --> 00:14:30,896 I don't know. Maybe he was just embarrassed. 210 00:14:30,896 --> 00:14:36,729 It's hard being clumsy, especially when you're popular and athletic, I bet. 211 00:14:36,729 --> 00:14:40,980 Yeah. Well, to be candid, it wouldn't be the first time I caught O'Donnell in a lie. 212 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,062 It would be nice if his lies didn't involve my sister. 213 00:14:43,062 --> 00:14:47,729 Anyway, I'm gonna have to call Coach Wheeler and, uh, tell him the bad news. 214 00:14:47,729 --> 00:14:49,980 Not a conversation I really want to have. 215 00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:53,271 At least he's still got R.J. to take over. 216 00:14:53,271 --> 00:14:55,771 Yeah. Well, I think we have everything we need for now. 217 00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:58,187 I'm sorry you had to get involved in this, Dawn. 218 00:14:59,729 --> 00:15:03,354 That's okay. I'm just really sorry it happened. 219 00:15:10,312 --> 00:15:14,146 Summers! Hey. Hi. 220 00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:17,646 I heard Wood hauled you into his office. Uh, well, yeah. 221 00:15:17,646 --> 00:15:20,688 About O'Donnell? Yes. 222 00:15:20,688 --> 00:15:23,729 That sucks, facin' the whole inquisition thing. 223 00:15:23,729 --> 00:15:27,479 Yeah. "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition." 224 00:15:27,479 --> 00:15:31,312 [ Chuckles ] God. It's like I have a disease or something. 225 00:15:31,312 --> 00:15:36,062 [ Sighs ] It was really no big deal. No, it was. 226 00:15:36,062 --> 00:15:38,855 I think it's cool that you faced him. Wood. 227 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:43,896 We just talked. He just wanted me to tell him about the accident. 228 00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:46,980 Yeah. 229 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,688 It sucks when these things just happen... outta nowhere. 230 00:15:50,980 --> 00:15:53,354 Right, out of nowhere. 231 00:15:56,438 --> 00:16:00,229 You know, I was thinkin' of headin' out tonight after practice. You wanna meet up? 232 00:16:00,229 --> 00:16:02,062 Um-- [ Giggles ] 233 00:16:03,521 --> 00:16:08,062 [ Woman ] ♪ Hold what you've got ♪ 234 00:16:08,062 --> 00:16:11,146 ♪ While Xenia twists up the sky ♪ 235 00:16:13,187 --> 00:16:15,646 ♪ Akron flakes out ♪ 236 00:16:15,646 --> 00:16:20,688 ♪ Grindcore little fury ♪ ♪ I feel hot tire ♪ 237 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:25,271 ♪ Why is it floating ♪ You know, Spike definitely seems a little more cogent, less-- 238 00:16:25,271 --> 00:16:29,688 [ Burbling ] I'm just sayin'-- Once you get back the soul, 239 00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:34,021 doesn't that mean you start, like, pickin' up your own wet towels off the floor? 240 00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:38,021 No, but maybe you start to feel really bad about leaving them there. 241 00:16:38,021 --> 00:16:42,146 At least he's showering, and that's a refreshing and delightful change. 242 00:16:42,146 --> 00:16:45,187 - Buff. - I think that's the guy. 243 00:16:45,187 --> 00:16:49,396 - What guy? - The one who, according to Dawn, is the, quote, 244 00:16:49,396 --> 00:16:51,479 "smartest, funniest, coolest, hottest and... 245 00:16:51,479 --> 00:16:55,646 "having-the-thickest- boy-eyelashes boy in school," unquote. 246 00:16:55,646 --> 00:16:58,396 He don't seem so tough. Check out the fan club. 247 00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:08,187 - Daddy like. - What's that shirt made of, paint? 248 00:17:08,187 --> 00:17:11,104 - Buff. - Glad Dawnie isn't here to see her precious boyfriend... 249 00:17:11,104 --> 00:17:13,563 getting all thrusty with some slutbag hussy-- 250 00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:22,896 - Oh. - Oh. Oh, no! Daddy no-- 251 00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:26,187 I wasn't-- When I was lookin' I wasn't-- Oh, God. 252 00:17:26,187 --> 00:17:28,187 Right there with ya. 253 00:17:33,479 --> 00:17:37,396 ♪ I got an empty case of whippets No more time on the meter ♪ 254 00:17:37,396 --> 00:17:39,396 ♪ Daybreak About-face ♪ 255 00:17:39,396 --> 00:17:41,646 So, do you have plans later, 256 00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:45,396 or are you just gonna go down to the docks, wait for the fleet to come in? 257 00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:48,729 What? Where do I start with the bad? 258 00:17:48,729 --> 00:17:51,813 First, you told me you were going to the library. 259 00:17:51,813 --> 00:17:55,062 Second, you do not go out on a date without informing me first. Third, 260 00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:57,354 Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky. 261 00:17:57,354 --> 00:18:01,104 Yeah, well, I think I look hot and so does R.J. Oh, I bet he does. 262 00:18:01,104 --> 00:18:04,229 Maybe I should go have a little word with him. No! 263 00:18:04,229 --> 00:18:06,021 Don't you dare embarrass me in front of him. 264 00:18:06,021 --> 00:18:08,521 I don't like this. This boy has you acting crazy. 265 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,563 It's my life. I'll do what I want to. I don't think so. 266 00:18:11,563 --> 00:18:15,271 Oh. So, what-- suddenly you're Mom now? No, I'm not. 267 00:18:15,271 --> 00:18:17,855 And I am glad she's not here to see you like this. 268 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,104 Look, I'm sorry. I just-- 269 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,896 You just can't handle it. What? 270 00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:31,938 You've always been the special one-- hot little Buffy with her boyfriends. The Slayer. 271 00:18:31,938 --> 00:18:35,187 And now someone likes me, and you just can't stand that I'm getting the attention. 272 00:18:35,187 --> 00:18:38,896 That is the farthest thing from true. No, it's not. 273 00:18:38,896 --> 00:18:41,187 I'm sorry, but I like the way R.J. makes me feel, 274 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:44,271 and if you think that makes me a slut or whatever, I don't care. 275 00:18:44,271 --> 00:18:48,021 Oh, no, no, no. You are not going back out on that dance floor. 276 00:18:55,563 --> 00:18:57,896 [ Empty Can Rattles ] 277 00:19:03,855 --> 00:19:07,604 - R.J.? - I know what you're doing, slut. 278 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:10,271 I saw you. I saw you with R.J. 279 00:19:10,271 --> 00:19:14,396 So? We were just dancing. Right. You think I'm stupid? 280 00:19:14,396 --> 00:19:18,188 You're gonna back off now. 281 00:19:18,188 --> 00:19:23,021 You know what's sad? A girl who can't move on when she's been dumped. 282 00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:27,230 He didn't dump me! [ Both Squealing, Screaming ] 283 00:19:37,563 --> 00:19:41,771 Okay. First with the lap dance, now with the catfight. Hey, wanna get drunk and barf next? 284 00:19:41,771 --> 00:19:43,813 Let go of me! This isn't finished. 285 00:19:43,813 --> 00:19:46,271 I'll never let you have him, bitch! 286 00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:49,729 R.J. is mine. I mean it. Stay away from him! 287 00:19:49,729 --> 00:19:52,062 [ Sighs ] 288 00:19:52,062 --> 00:19:55,062 Well, at least someone agrees you shouldn't be dating this guy. 289 00:19:56,187 --> 00:19:59,062 [ Bell Rings ] 290 00:19:59,062 --> 00:20:02,980 How about if you try doing your own homework for a change, all right? 291 00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:07,354 No more getting these young, impressionable women to do it for you. 292 00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:11,312 Avoid detention, R.J. Sound good? Whatever. 293 00:20:11,312 --> 00:20:14,771 Oh, sweet, infectious enthusiasm. 294 00:20:19,521 --> 00:20:23,396 Whoa, hang on there, slappy. I'm not done with you yet. 295 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:27,938 Oh, man. Like, it's not bad enough I got that guy ridin' my back all the time. 296 00:20:27,938 --> 00:20:32,104 - Now I gotta deal with you too? - Actually, I'm a bit more formidable than Mr. Wood. 297 00:20:32,104 --> 00:20:34,479 You might come to look fondly on his back riding. 298 00:20:34,479 --> 00:20:36,646 Yeah, but come on. Sit. 299 00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:41,104 Hey, I told him I was sorry about the homework. 300 00:20:41,104 --> 00:20:44,604 Mmm. Not the homework, Mr. Wizard, the girls-- 301 00:20:44,604 --> 00:20:48,021 what you're doing to them, in specific, my sister. 302 00:20:48,021 --> 00:20:52,187 Hey, I-I didn't do anything to your sister. And you saw how hot she looked last night. 303 00:20:52,187 --> 00:20:55,855 I think that proved that she-- Ah-ah, no more with the talky. 304 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,771 [ Sighs ] Look, I know how guys like you work. 305 00:20:58,771 --> 00:21:01,813 You turn on the charm, you get whatever you want, no matter who gets in your way. 306 00:21:01,813 --> 00:21:05,521 Okay. Look, it's not like that. I just get along really well with girls. 307 00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:10,980 Oh, I see how you get along. "Ooh, look at me. I'm Mr. Quarterback. 308 00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:16,021 "I crush little girls and all their little feelings. All I have to do is... 309 00:21:16,021 --> 00:21:19,688 "lead a... team of high school athletes... 310 00:21:19,688 --> 00:21:23,354 "trying their best to do a good job. 311 00:21:23,354 --> 00:21:25,938 Everyone depending on me--" 312 00:21:25,938 --> 00:21:30,229 Boy, that is a lot of pressure. But... 313 00:21:30,229 --> 00:21:33,479 it doesn't mean you get to disregard other people's feelings. 314 00:21:33,479 --> 00:21:36,312 It's not like I meant to hurt anyone. 315 00:21:37,479 --> 00:21:39,855 No. I know that. 316 00:21:39,855 --> 00:21:44,521 It's just-- you're a leader. A captain, okay? 317 00:21:44,521 --> 00:21:48,521 People look up to you, and you need to keep that in mind when you-- 318 00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:55,479 I bet you run a lot, huh? 319 00:21:55,479 --> 00:21:59,646 I mean, they work you pretty hard, don't they? 320 00:22:02,354 --> 00:22:07,062 Yeah. I guess so. 321 00:22:07,062 --> 00:22:11,479 I get that. I do. I'm there. 322 00:22:11,479 --> 00:22:15,021 Or at least I was there when I was still in high school-- which I was... 323 00:22:15,021 --> 00:22:19,187 just a couple of years ago, really. 324 00:22:19,187 --> 00:22:21,187 You know, I-I just-- [ Chuckles ] realized, 325 00:22:21,187 --> 00:22:24,271 I-I'm basically the same age as you. 326 00:22:24,271 --> 00:22:27,771 I'm not really older at all actually. 327 00:22:27,771 --> 00:22:31,813 I'm just like you... 328 00:22:31,813 --> 00:22:36,604 but with the sexual experience and stuff. 329 00:22:36,604 --> 00:22:39,229 I think I hear what you're sayin'. 330 00:22:41,271 --> 00:22:44,855 Uh, right. [ Clears Throat ] I'm-- 331 00:22:44,855 --> 00:22:50,521 I'm really glad that we-- we had this talk. So, uh, I think you better get back to class then. 332 00:22:50,521 --> 00:22:54,438 Okay. Thanks. 333 00:22:54,438 --> 00:22:58,146 ♪ [ "Theme to A Summer Place" ] 334 00:22:58,146 --> 00:23:03,563 ♪ [ Continues ] 335 00:23:04,813 --> 00:23:06,688 [ Giggles ] 336 00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:20,521 [ Buffy ] Dawn, you wanna come talk to me? 337 00:23:20,521 --> 00:23:22,438 Ambush. 338 00:23:32,146 --> 00:23:35,896 I wanted to tell you that I talked to R.J. today. 339 00:23:35,896 --> 00:23:39,396 He's okay. I think he likes you. 340 00:23:39,396 --> 00:23:42,438 Really? Tell me what he said about me-- 341 00:23:42,438 --> 00:23:45,771 every word, including intonation and facial expressions. 342 00:23:45,771 --> 00:23:50,771 Well, he thinks you're-- you're funny and pretty and interesting. 343 00:23:50,771 --> 00:23:52,855 Didn't have a thing to say against you. 344 00:23:55,187 --> 00:23:58,146 Yes, he did. I can tell. 345 00:24:00,396 --> 00:24:03,354 Just the tiniest thing. 346 00:24:03,354 --> 00:24:07,688 He might have said that you came on a little strong. 347 00:24:07,688 --> 00:24:10,646 Oh, my God. 348 00:24:10,646 --> 00:24:13,771 - I'm the pushy queen of Slut Town. - No, honey, honey. Not at all. 349 00:24:13,771 --> 00:24:18,896 No, no. It's just, you know, lay back a little. Let him come to you. 350 00:24:18,896 --> 00:24:24,604 I'm just scared that while I'm laying back, some other girl's gonna come and sweep him up. 351 00:24:24,604 --> 00:24:28,354 But we have inside info. We know he doesn't like being swept. 352 00:24:28,354 --> 00:24:31,104 He likes to be the sweeper. 353 00:24:31,104 --> 00:24:35,438 Dawn, you're gonna come out the winner here... with me looking out for you. 354 00:24:35,438 --> 00:24:39,646 Yeah, I guess so. Thank you. 355 00:24:43,688 --> 00:24:49,271 So we do know that 6x + y = 16. So we can solve for "y" in terms of-- 356 00:24:49,271 --> 00:24:52,813 Sorry to interrupt. Um, we need to see R.J. Brooks down in the guidance office. 357 00:25:07,771 --> 00:25:09,688 There's no one here. 358 00:25:11,479 --> 00:25:13,563 Yeah, there is. 359 00:25:13,563 --> 00:25:16,021 There's one of you, 360 00:25:17,187 --> 00:25:19,563 and there's one of me. 361 00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:26,312 You were the one in math class. Tell me what that adds up to. 362 00:25:31,729 --> 00:25:35,062 I'm not coming on too strong if I just look at him. 363 00:25:37,271 --> 00:25:41,896 [ Man ] ♪ A warning sign ♪ 364 00:25:41,896 --> 00:25:46,563 ♪ I missed the good part ♪ [ Buffy ] I've always been fascinated by football. 365 00:25:46,563 --> 00:25:49,855 ♪ [ Continues ] So, what's it like to lead a team? 366 00:25:49,855 --> 00:25:52,563 The thing of it is is the time. 367 00:25:52,563 --> 00:25:56,896 Nobody gets how much time goes into it with practices and games. 368 00:25:56,896 --> 00:26:00,438 I totally get it. I was kinda juggling some stuff... 369 00:26:00,438 --> 00:26:03,062 when I was in high school too, which was also very recent. 370 00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:07,271 Principal Snyder was always on me. 371 00:26:07,271 --> 00:26:10,646 Well, I still say Wood's the worst. You haven't seen the way that guy rides me. 372 00:26:10,646 --> 00:26:13,604 I wish somebody would just get him off my back. 373 00:26:14,896 --> 00:26:18,438 Yeah. That would be cool. 374 00:26:18,438 --> 00:26:20,438 And sometimes I didn't even do anything wrong. 375 00:26:24,896 --> 00:26:28,312 Oh, wow, you-- You're like a teacher. 376 00:26:29,521 --> 00:26:31,688 Not really. 377 00:26:31,688 --> 00:26:36,229 But I mean, does it bother you? 378 00:26:36,229 --> 00:26:38,229 Not so much. 379 00:26:39,771 --> 00:26:44,021 - [ Bell Rings ] - ♪ I miss you ♪ 380 00:26:48,521 --> 00:26:51,604 ♪ Yeah the truth is ♪ 381 00:26:54,813 --> 00:27:00,563 ♪ That I miss you so ♪ 382 00:27:09,021 --> 00:27:11,188 [ Whimpers ] 383 00:27:14,563 --> 00:27:18,271 Dawn, what's wrong? 384 00:27:18,271 --> 00:27:21,604 Is this-- Did that guy in the jacket-- 385 00:27:21,604 --> 00:27:24,438 [ Growls ] I don't even want to hear his name anymore. 386 00:27:24,438 --> 00:27:27,688 I just called him "that guy in the jacket." 387 00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:32,813 That's what I used to call him in my head before I knew his real name. 388 00:27:32,813 --> 00:27:38,146 Dawnie, honey, you seem... extremely perturbed. [ Sobs ] 389 00:27:38,146 --> 00:27:40,896 Maybe I should go get Buffy. No! [ Sniffles ] 390 00:27:42,229 --> 00:27:44,271 I don't ever want to see her again. 391 00:27:44,271 --> 00:27:46,521 I thought this was about that guy in the-- 392 00:27:46,521 --> 00:27:50,354 the, um-- that guy with the thing. 393 00:27:50,354 --> 00:27:56,062 [ Sobs ] No. It's about both of them. 394 00:27:56,062 --> 00:27:58,271 [ Whimpers ] 395 00:27:58,271 --> 00:28:01,521 [ Both Moaning ] Buffy, I think Dawn needs you. Hey! 396 00:28:01,521 --> 00:28:05,229 Xander. Hi. This is R.J. 397 00:28:05,229 --> 00:28:07,855 Uh, hey, guy. It's called knocking. 398 00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:12,479 I'm sorry. It's just checkout time was an hour ago. We were hoping to make up the bed. 399 00:28:12,479 --> 00:28:15,771 And also, it's a classroom, you chowderhead! 400 00:28:15,771 --> 00:28:18,104 Now, get off the boy, Buffy. We're goin' home. 401 00:28:20,354 --> 00:28:24,563 [ Sobbing ] Dawn, please stop crying. Please? 402 00:28:24,563 --> 00:28:28,021 Crying isn't gonna make his love for me go away, you know. 403 00:28:28,021 --> 00:28:30,479 Listen, you're under a love spell. That's what this has to be. 404 00:28:30,479 --> 00:28:33,855 You're right. He's right. 405 00:28:33,855 --> 00:28:37,396 You're under a spell. Oh, poor little Dawnie. 406 00:28:37,396 --> 00:28:39,646 But we're working on it. It'll be better soon. 407 00:28:39,646 --> 00:28:43,146 Yes. Soon neither one of you will be in love with this boy. 408 00:28:43,146 --> 00:28:46,855 - He's not a boy. - What do you know about our love? 409 00:28:46,855 --> 00:28:49,187 It's true and real. 410 00:28:49,187 --> 00:28:51,230 This isn't magic. This is my heart. 411 00:28:52,271 --> 00:28:56,187 Fine. We'll be working. 412 00:28:56,187 --> 00:29:00,396 Look, I know this feels terrible, but it isn't real. Try to hold on to that. 413 00:29:00,396 --> 00:29:04,896 Did you hear that? It isn't real. You're just crazy. 414 00:29:04,896 --> 00:29:08,187 It is so real. I love him. 415 00:29:08,187 --> 00:29:13,021 You knew how I felt-- like I'd finally found something-- and you betrayed me. 416 00:29:13,021 --> 00:29:15,396 I betrayed you? 417 00:29:15,396 --> 00:29:18,729 You're the one that constructed this elaborate fantasy about you and my lover. 418 00:29:18,729 --> 00:29:21,062 Your "lover"? Your "lover"? 419 00:29:21,062 --> 00:29:23,813 Guys, guys-- I tried to get you to back away. 420 00:29:23,813 --> 00:29:29,062 - That's right. You lied to me. - But did you want me to tell you that he's in love with me, 421 00:29:29,062 --> 00:29:32,271 that your little crush is hopeless? It's not a crush! 422 00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:35,479 Stop! You're not supposed to do this. Why? 423 00:29:35,479 --> 00:29:39,855 Because he's younger than me? You know, I am extremely youthful and peppy. 424 00:29:39,855 --> 00:29:44,354 No, 'cause you were the one I trusted. 425 00:29:48,312 --> 00:29:50,312 Dawn, wait! [ Door Slams ] 426 00:29:52,729 --> 00:29:56,396 Crazy little lust puppies, aren't they? At least the yelling went away. 427 00:29:56,396 --> 00:29:59,104 It was startin' to sound like Christmas morning with my family. 428 00:29:59,104 --> 00:30:02,062 Love spells. People forget how dangerous they can be. 429 00:30:02,062 --> 00:30:05,438 - Hey, been there. - [ Women ] Xander! Xander! Xander! 430 00:30:05,438 --> 00:30:08,021 Stop it! Stop! 431 00:30:09,771 --> 00:30:13,604 - Good times. - Here. Something. 432 00:30:13,604 --> 00:30:17,729 [ Sighs ] She's locked her door. That spell has her good and loopy. 433 00:30:17,729 --> 00:30:20,729 - Info on one R.J. Brooks. - Oh! Let me see. Is there a picture? 434 00:30:20,729 --> 00:30:23,813 Family stuff. Hey, I knew his brother. 435 00:30:23,813 --> 00:30:27,271 He was a big jock at Sunnydale High too, a couple of years ahead of us. 436 00:30:27,271 --> 00:30:29,479 He used to stick chewing gum in my hair. 437 00:30:29,479 --> 00:30:32,938 - Hmm. - What are you thinkin'? 438 00:30:32,938 --> 00:30:36,271 Well, I think my relationship with R.J.'s brother was complex at best, 439 00:30:36,271 --> 00:30:39,187 but maybe he's a way in. 440 00:30:39,187 --> 00:30:41,021 Now look for a picture. 441 00:30:43,104 --> 00:30:46,271 I'm just sayin', we're-- we're tangling with a powerful spell here, 442 00:30:46,271 --> 00:30:50,479 and we don't know what the deal is, so-- so keep an eye out if this guy looks twitchy. 443 00:30:50,479 --> 00:30:52,646 And don't let this guy charm you either. 444 00:30:52,646 --> 00:30:56,729 He had everyone around him practically kissing his ring back in high school. 445 00:30:56,729 --> 00:30:58,855 [ Doorbell Rings ] 446 00:31:00,062 --> 00:31:02,646 [ Door Opens, Creaks ] 447 00:31:02,646 --> 00:31:04,646 Yeah? 448 00:31:08,354 --> 00:31:10,938 Construction, huh? That's awesome. [ Xander ] Yeah. 449 00:31:10,938 --> 00:31:15,062 So, what's up with R.J.? How's he doin' at the old "alpha" mater? 450 00:31:15,062 --> 00:31:18,229 Uh, good. It's just, 451 00:31:18,229 --> 00:31:21,521 I know a girl that might be goin' out with him, and I was wondering-- 452 00:31:21,521 --> 00:31:23,479 Got it. You wanna know if he's a good guy? 453 00:31:23,479 --> 00:31:27,688 Truth is, he's the best. Followin' in my footsteps. 454 00:31:27,688 --> 00:31:30,271 You might not know it now, lookin' at me with a couple extra pounds, 455 00:31:30,271 --> 00:31:33,271 but back then I was quite the guy. 456 00:31:33,271 --> 00:31:36,563 Yeah. I gather that R.J. is pretty popular too. 457 00:31:36,563 --> 00:31:41,354 Hey, I gotta tell ya. There was a time I was worried about R.J. 458 00:31:41,354 --> 00:31:46,604 Used to be all into comic books, Model U.N., geek stuff. No offense, Harris. 459 00:31:46,604 --> 00:31:49,771 One time, I found all this poetry under his bed. 460 00:31:49,771 --> 00:31:52,938 Turns out he wrote it. 461 00:31:52,938 --> 00:31:57,521 Then he, uh-- what do you call it-- blossomed. That's what it was like. 462 00:31:57,521 --> 00:32:03,563 And do you have any idea why he, you know, burst into a flower? 463 00:32:03,563 --> 00:32:08,354 You're wearing your brother's jacket. Here in this picture. 464 00:32:08,354 --> 00:32:12,146 Oh, no, dude. He's wearin' mine. That jacket was with me all the way through high 465 00:32:12,146 --> 00:32:14,312 Gave it to him when I graduated. 466 00:32:14,312 --> 00:32:18,271 Right before I started over at the Pizza Barn. I'm in the management program. 467 00:32:18,271 --> 00:32:21,021 So, Lance, where did you get the jacket? 468 00:32:21,021 --> 00:32:25,604 Oh, Dad gave it to me. Made a big deal about it, too, how he met Mom wearin' that jacket. 469 00:32:25,604 --> 00:32:29,646 She was a former Miss Arkansas. Very hot in her day. 470 00:32:29,646 --> 00:32:32,563 Wow. That's wonderful. Boy, it's gettin' late. 471 00:32:32,563 --> 00:32:35,688 Hey, you guys don't have to take off if you don't want to. I-I got... 472 00:32:35,688 --> 00:32:37,980 sort of a rumpus room set up in the basement. 473 00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:41,229 There's air hockey and a minifridge. 474 00:32:41,229 --> 00:32:43,312 We could party. 475 00:32:43,312 --> 00:32:47,563 [ Woman ] Lance, do you have guests down there? 476 00:32:47,563 --> 00:32:51,271 - There's little boxes of raisins if you want snacks. - We really gotta go. 477 00:32:51,271 --> 00:32:53,396 [ Keystrokes ] [ Sighs ] Damn love spell. 478 00:32:53,396 --> 00:32:56,980 I have tried every anti-love spell spell I can find. 479 00:32:56,980 --> 00:32:59,438 Even if you found the right one, guy would probably just do... 480 00:32:59,438 --> 00:33:02,813 an anti-anti-love spell spell... spell. 481 00:33:02,813 --> 00:33:05,062 What? [ Doorbell Rings ] 482 00:33:05,062 --> 00:33:09,146 I'll get it. Maybe it's Xander with some answers from the brother. 483 00:33:12,729 --> 00:33:16,104 - Oh. You have to be-- - I was lookin' for Buffy-- Miss Summers? 484 00:33:16,104 --> 00:33:20,271 - Buffy's not here. Go away. - You sure? 485 00:33:20,271 --> 00:33:23,062 No Buffy for you. Leave quickly now. 486 00:33:23,062 --> 00:33:26,021 Uh-huh. Okay. 487 00:33:26,021 --> 00:33:28,021 Tell her to call me. 488 00:33:29,187 --> 00:33:31,396 Man. [ Whew ] 489 00:33:31,396 --> 00:33:33,729 Good thing Buffy and Dawn are upstairs. 490 00:33:33,729 --> 00:33:37,938 If they knew he was here-- ♪ [ "Theme to A Summer Place" ] 491 00:33:37,938 --> 00:33:42,187 ♪ [ Continues ] 492 00:33:48,021 --> 00:33:52,062 But you don't even know him. Yes, I do. I looked into him, and I saw his soul. 493 00:33:52,062 --> 00:33:55,646 He was walking away. So unless his soul is in his ass-- 494 00:33:55,646 --> 00:33:58,229 A.J. is my best friend and my dearest darling. 495 00:33:58,229 --> 00:34:03,104 It's "R.J.," and what you were picking up on was his deep caring and devotion to me. 496 00:34:03,104 --> 00:34:06,396 What's going on? Willow thinks she's in love with my boyfriend, R.J. 497 00:34:06,396 --> 00:34:09,229 What? No! You two can't do this. 498 00:34:09,229 --> 00:34:12,230 [ Buffy ] Willow, you're a gay woman... and he isn't. 499 00:34:12,230 --> 00:34:14,813 This isn't about his physical presence. 500 00:34:14,813 --> 00:34:18,271 - It's about his heart. - His physical presence has a penis! 501 00:34:18,271 --> 00:34:22,312 - I can work around it. - This isn't fair. How can you all be doing this to me? 502 00:34:22,312 --> 00:34:27,187 Okay. Wait. Everyone wait. Just calm down, okay? I think I know what this is. 503 00:34:27,187 --> 00:34:32,104 Clearly, you've both been affected by the same love spell that got Dawn. 504 00:34:32,104 --> 00:34:35,479 This isn't a spell. He owns my heart. 505 00:34:35,479 --> 00:34:38,604 Dawn, be quiet. We're trying to work this out. We don't need you interfering. 506 00:34:38,604 --> 00:34:41,980 There's a simple answer to this. Just think about who loves him the most. 507 00:34:41,980 --> 00:34:46,354 Clearly I do, since I'm willing to look past the whole orientation thing. 508 00:34:46,354 --> 00:34:49,438 - I need him. - Well, you're gonna have to do better than that. 509 00:34:49,438 --> 00:34:52,521 I'd kill for him. You'd kill for a chocolate bar. 510 00:34:52,521 --> 00:34:56,312 No. Yes! Kill for him. 511 00:34:56,312 --> 00:34:59,354 I'm a Slayer. "Slayer" means "kill." 512 00:34:59,354 --> 00:35:03,312 Oh! I'll kill the principal. Hmm. That is hard to top. 513 00:35:03,312 --> 00:35:08,187 Yeah? Well, I have skills. I can prove my love with magic. 514 00:35:08,187 --> 00:35:12,062 Yeah, right. What are you gonna do? Use magic to make him into a girl? 515 00:35:12,062 --> 00:35:14,896 Oh, damn. 516 00:35:14,896 --> 00:35:16,813 [ Anya ] Oh, wait! I know what he'll like. 517 00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:24,938 Sorry, Dawnie. 518 00:35:24,938 --> 00:35:30,479 - You're never gonna get him. - No, never. 519 00:36:15,062 --> 00:36:16,938 [ Train Horn Blares, Distant ] 520 00:36:25,563 --> 00:36:29,146 O Hecate, I call on you. 521 00:36:29,146 --> 00:36:31,855 I humbly ask your will be done. 522 00:36:31,855 --> 00:36:35,230 Hear my request, a simple change-- 523 00:36:35,230 --> 00:36:37,187 [ Thunderclap ] Create a daughter from a s-- 524 00:36:37,187 --> 00:36:39,729 [ Crystals Pattering ] 525 00:36:39,729 --> 00:36:42,938 Oh, man. Now I've got to start all over. Hecate hates that. 526 00:36:42,938 --> 00:36:46,855 What the hell are you doing? Proving I love R.J. the most. 527 00:36:46,855 --> 00:36:51,646 Wil, honey, R.J.'s a guy. 528 00:36:51,646 --> 00:36:54,354 Well, I did notice that, yeah. That's why I'm doin' my spell, 529 00:36:54,354 --> 00:36:56,604 'cause, you know, he doesn't have to be. 530 00:36:56,604 --> 00:37:00,187 Now, hand me back my crystals. I don't have much time. Much time before what? 531 00:37:00,187 --> 00:37:02,521 Before Buffy and Anya and Dawn have a chance to prove... 532 00:37:02,521 --> 00:37:04,896 they love R.J. the most. How are they gonna do that? 533 00:37:04,896 --> 00:37:08,604 Well, Buffy's gonna kill Principal Wood-- Fine. Okay. Let's start there. 534 00:37:10,187 --> 00:37:16,146 ♪ [ Soft Latin Jazz ] 535 00:37:20,187 --> 00:37:22,104 [ Spike Roars, Distant ] 536 00:37:24,021 --> 00:37:25,896 [ Buffy Yells, Distant ] 537 00:37:38,604 --> 00:37:41,604 Hey! 538 00:37:41,604 --> 00:37:45,479 [ Panting ] What are you guys doing? 539 00:37:45,479 --> 00:37:49,271 Locator spell, human variety. Almost done. 540 00:37:49,271 --> 00:37:54,104 Ooh. I've got a principal to kill. What's going on? Who are we looking for? 541 00:37:54,104 --> 00:37:58,813 [ Train Horn Blares, Loud ] 542 00:38:07,563 --> 00:38:12,062 You realize Anya is probably seducing R.J. even as we speak. My God, you think so? 543 00:38:12,062 --> 00:38:14,438 Well, I wouldn't put it past her. She's recently evil, you know. 544 00:38:14,438 --> 00:38:16,688 [ Horn Blaring, Louder ] Well, so am I. Why should I miss out? 545 00:38:16,688 --> 00:38:19,230 Hey, crazy chicks, look. 546 00:38:19,230 --> 00:38:20,771 - Dawn? - [ Horn Continues ] 547 00:38:20,771 --> 00:38:22,396 - Dawn! - Buffy! 548 00:38:24,229 --> 00:38:26,187 [ Train Horn #2 Blasts ] 549 00:39:02,021 --> 00:39:04,146 What were you doing? What is this? 550 00:39:04,146 --> 00:39:09,271 It doesn't matter. This is a plan? You're gonna steal R.J. by being trisected? 551 00:39:09,271 --> 00:39:11,438 What, am I gonna compete with you? 552 00:39:11,438 --> 00:39:15,563 You're older and hotter and have sex that's rough and kill people. 553 00:39:15,563 --> 00:39:20,146 I don't have any of that stuff. Um, but if I did this, then his whole life he'd know... 554 00:39:20,146 --> 00:39:22,771 there was someone that loved him so much they'd give up their life. 555 00:39:22,771 --> 00:39:25,021 Dawn. 556 00:39:25,021 --> 00:39:29,187 [ Sighs ] And it would be true... forever. 557 00:39:29,187 --> 00:39:32,521 No guy is worth your life, not ever. 558 00:39:32,521 --> 00:39:37,062 R.J. is and don't say he isn't. Look what you were willing to do. 559 00:39:37,062 --> 00:39:42,271 Dawn, I would give him to you in a second if I could. That's how much you're scaring me. 560 00:39:45,021 --> 00:39:48,604 But I-- I thought you wanted him... for you. 561 00:39:50,229 --> 00:39:53,062 Nah. 562 00:39:53,062 --> 00:39:56,271 Well, yeah. 563 00:39:56,271 --> 00:39:59,230 My God, that boy is hot. 564 00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:03,563 Sorry. I think I might be under a spell here. 565 00:40:03,563 --> 00:40:05,479 I hear ya. 566 00:40:15,479 --> 00:40:19,229 Now, you're sure you understand the plan? I think I got it. Yeah. 567 00:40:21,938 --> 00:40:23,980 Hey! Hey! 568 00:40:23,980 --> 00:40:25,813 Ow! [ Gasps ] 569 00:40:28,729 --> 00:40:33,479 ♪ [ Rock, On Speaker, Low ] That, my friends, is the smell of sweet, sweet victory. 570 00:40:33,479 --> 00:40:37,354 ♪ [ Continues ] Also burning cotton-poly blend. 571 00:40:37,354 --> 00:40:40,438 Xander, be honest. You didn't, you know, think about... 572 00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:42,938 slippin' that jacket on just a little bit? 573 00:40:42,938 --> 00:40:45,771 I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit. 574 00:40:45,771 --> 00:40:49,521 Man, this tool gets this jacket from his brother, 575 00:40:49,521 --> 00:40:52,021 who got it from their father, and we'll never know where he got it. 576 00:40:52,021 --> 00:40:57,229 That bites. Nah, welcome to the Hellmouth, where even outerwear isn't safe. 577 00:40:57,229 --> 00:41:00,688 - I can't believe I almost-- - I can't believe I almost-- 578 00:41:00,688 --> 00:41:03,187 It was a spell. We were helpless. 579 00:41:03,187 --> 00:41:06,813 We're not responsible for anything we did, morally or, you know, legally. 580 00:41:06,813 --> 00:41:10,104 True. You fell for a mystical, ancient curse. 581 00:41:10,104 --> 00:41:12,896 Who hasn't made that mistake, mmm, seven, eight times? 582 00:41:17,980 --> 00:41:21,771 Can you hear that? Not your fault. 583 00:41:21,771 --> 00:41:23,896 [ Sighs ] 584 00:41:23,896 --> 00:41:26,229 I'm just so-- 585 00:41:26,229 --> 00:41:31,146 The way I acted, the way I talked to you-- 586 00:41:31,146 --> 00:41:33,938 I feel so stupid. All over a spell. 587 00:41:35,479 --> 00:41:38,521 Get ready to feel even stupider when it's not. 588 00:41:40,521 --> 00:41:44,729 Hey, Anya, you never told us what you "can't believe you almost--" 589 00:41:44,729 --> 00:41:47,021 "Almost" who now? 590 00:41:47,021 --> 00:41:51,521 No. You can't be the only not-embarrassed one. What did you do? 591 00:41:51,521 --> 00:41:55,729 Uh-- I, uh, wrote a poem, 592 00:41:55,729 --> 00:41:58,187 an epic poem, 593 00:41:58,187 --> 00:42:02,396 - comparing him to a daisy... and a tower and a lake. - ♪ [ Stops ] 594 00:42:02,396 --> 00:42:05,438 [ Announcer ] And now the latest on Sunnydale's late-night bandit who is still at large. 595 00:42:05,438 --> 00:42:07,813 - A masked thief held up a number of-- - [ Switch Clicks ] 596 00:42:07,813 --> 00:42:10,896 Okay. Great. Ice cream. My treat? 597 00:42:37,729 --> 00:42:39,479 Grr! Arrgh!