[ Man ] PREVIOUSLY ON BUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.
[ Buffy ] TELL ME WHAT KIND OF DEMON I'M FIGHTING.
[ Man ] GLORY ISN'T A DEMON. SHE'S A GOD.
TELL ME WHERE THE KEY IS.
WE HAD TO HIDE THE KEY. MADE IT HUMAN.
- SENT IT TO YOU. - [ Buffy ] DAWN.
I KNOW YOU GOT A LOT ON YOUR MIND.
YOU DECIDE YOU WANNA LET ME IN ON ANY OF IT, YOU LET ME KNOW.
BUFFY'S LIKE NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD.
BUT SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME.
- THEY WANT ME BACK, BUFFY. - ARE YOU GOING?
- I DON'T KNOW. IF WE CAN'T WORK THIS OUT-- - THIS IS GOOD-BYE?
RILEY!
THERE'S SOMETHING THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT DAWN.
WHY DOES EVERYBODY START ACTING ALL WEIRD WHEN I'M AROUND?
"THEY HAD TO BE CERTAIN THE SLAYER WOULD PROTECT IT WITH HER LIFE,
SO THEY SENT THE KEY TO HER IN THE FORM OF A SISTER."
- IS THIS BLOOD? - WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'M NOT A KEY.
- I'M NOT REAL. - YOU'RE THE KEY.
GO. BEFORE SHE FINDS YOU. SHE'S HERE!
I LOVE YOU.
THE ONLY CHANCE YOU HAD WITH ME WAS WHEN I WAS UNCONSCIOUS.
I WANT YOU OUT. I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS TOWN, I WANT YOU OFF THIS PLANET.
YOU DON'T COME NEAR ME, MY FRIENDS OR MY FAMILY AGAIN, EVER. UNDERSTAND?
[ Grunting ] SPIKE! SPIKE WANTS ME.
- HOW OBSCENE IS THAT? - WELL, IT IS VERY STRANGE.
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT HE'S THINKING.
NOT THAT YOU'RE NOT ATTRACTIVE.
I FEEL GROSS, YOU KNOW? LIKE-- LIKE DIRTY.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS. YOU CAN'T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT SPIKE THINKS OR FEELS.
WELL, AREN'T I RESPONSIBLE? I MEAN, SOMETHING ABOUT ME HAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL THAT, RIGHT?
SOMETHING THAT MADE HIM SAY, "WOOF, THAT'S THE ONE FOR ME."
- [ Giles ] BUFFY, I THINK YOU SHOULD PERHAPS CALM DOWN. - ME TOO.
OH, PUFFY XANDER. UM--
I'M SORRY. I GOT-- I GUESS I GOT CARRIED AWAY. ARE YOU OKAY?
I'M ALIVE. I CAN TELL 'CAUSE OF THE PAIN.
[ Grunts ] DO YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN? I'M NOT THAT BENDY.
- I COULD LEAN. - [ Giles ] I'LL GET SOME ICE.
[ Buffy ] HERE.
[ Grunting ]
COMFY? OH, YEAH.
THIS LEANING-- THIS IS THE STUFF. [ Sighs ]
SEE, THAT'S MY SECRET TO ATTRACTING MEN. YOU KNOW, IT'S SIMPLE, REALLY.
YOU SLAP 'EM AROUND A BIT. YOU TORTURE 'EM. YOU MAKE THEIR LIVES A LIVING HELL AND--
BUFF-- SURE, THE NICE GUYS, THEY'LL RUN AWAY,
BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN, YOU'LL COME ACROSS A REAL PRINCE OF A GUY LIKE SPIKE
WHO GETS OFF ON IT.
BUFFY, STAND ME UP.
[ Groans ]
THE PROBLEM IS NOT YOU. DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF, PLEASE.
I JUST--
I JUST WANNA KNOW THAT THERE'S GONNA BE ANOTHER GOOD ONE,
ONE THAT I WON'T CHASE AWAY.
THERE WILL BE, PROMISE. HE'S OUT THERE. HE CAN COME ALONG ANY MINUTE.
YEAH, AND THE MINUTE AFTER THAT, I CAN TERRIFY HIM...
WITH MY ALARMING STRENGTH AND REMARKABLE SELF-INVOLVEMENT.
WHAT? I DON'T THINK YOU'RE LIKE THAT.
MAYBE I COULD CHANGE. YOU KNOW, I COULD-- I COULD WORK HARDER.
I COULD SPEND LESS TIME SLAYING. I COULD LAUGH AT HIS JOKES.
I MEAN, MEN LIKE THAT, RIGHT? THE JOKE LAUGHING AT?
OR MAYBE YOU COULD JUST BE BUFFY. HE'LL SEE YOUR AMAZING HEART,
AND HE'LL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.
XANDER, THAT'S-- OHH.
THIS IS THE DAY YOU CHOOSE TO HUG ME? [ Sighs ]
BUFFY? MM-HMM?
YOU EVER THINK MAYBE THE REASON YOU HAVEN'T FOUND A GREAT RELATIONSHIP...
ON THE HELLMOUTH IS BECAUSE IT'S A HELLMOUTH?
SEEMS TO ME IT'S A PRETTY TERRIBLE PLACE TO TRY TO BUILD ANYTHING.
MMM.
YOU WANNA GET SOME COFFEE OR SOMETHING? YEAH.
[ People Chattering ]
THANK YOU FOR PICKING ME UP. I'M VERY GRATEFUL FOR THE RIDE.
YOU SURE YOU WANNA GET OUT HERE? I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS KIND OF--
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN SUNNYDALE, ANYWAY?
TRUE LOVE.
I MIGHT LIKE IT MORE THAN THE OTHERS. CAN YOU SPIN AROUND AGAIN?
OOH, I'M NOT SURE. ONCE MORE.
NOW, COULD YOU GO THE OTHER WAY?
YOU'RE MESSING WITH ME.
WE JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW MANY TIMES WE COULD GET YOU TO DO IT.
WAS THAT FIVE OR FOUR AND A HALF?
SO IS ANYONE GONNA TALK ABOUT MY DRESS?
- I LIKE IT. - YOU SURE?
- I MEAN, IT'S NOT TOO MOM-ISH? - OH. THAT WAS WHY I LIKED IT.
YOU'RE BOTH CRAZY. IT'S NOT MOM-ISH AT ALL. IT'S SEXY.
IT SCREAMS, "RANDY SEX KITTEN. BUY ME ONE DRINK, AND I'LL--"
- OH, WAIT. THAT'S NOT REALLY GOOD, EITHER. - UH-UH.
OH, GOD. WHAT TIME IS IT?
4:23. YOU HAVE LOTS OF TIME UNTIL 7:00.
VAST ACRES OF TIME IN WHICH YOU COULD PLANT CROPS.
- NOW, TELL ME ABOUT THIS BRIAN AND WHAT HIS INTENTIONS ARE. - MAYBE HE'S A GIGOLO.
- WAS HIS SHIRT ALL SHINY? - NO. HE WORKS FOR A PUBLISHING HOUSE.
- HE'S A NICE, NORMAL GUY, OKAY? - I THINK I'VE HEARD OF THOSE.
HE CAME TO THE GALLERY MY FIRST DAY BACK,
WHEN I WAS, YOU KNOW, KIND OF SHAKY, STARTING OVER.
AND HE ASKED A QUESTION ABOUT THESE ANTIQUE CAMEOS. OH,
AND I WAS SO LOST BECAUSE CAROL HAD BEEN DOING THE ORDERING WHILE I WAS SICK.
IT TURNED OUT THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM EITHER,
SO WE HAD A LOT TO TALK ABOUT.
-SO WHAT'S THE PLAN FOR TONIGHT? -DINNER AND THEN A MOVIE.
OR MAYBE IT WAS A MOVIE AND THEN DINNER,
WHICH MIGHT BE BETTER BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THEN WE COULD TALK ABOUT THE MOVIE.
MAYBE A MOVIE ISN'T A GOOD IDEA AT ALL, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T TALK DURING,
AND THEN WHAT'S THE POINT OF ANY OF IT?
OH, AND ABOUT THE RESTAURANT-- DO YOU THINK THAT...
IT SHOULD BE ONE WITH CANDLES AND ROMANTIC MUSIC, OR IS THAT PUSHING IT?
BUFFY, WHAT DO YOU THINK? SHOULD I TRY TO MAKE THINGS ROMANTIC...
OR SORT OF LET HIM SET THE PACE?
OH, NO. LOVE DOCTOR BUFFY IS NOT IN.
I AM NOT QUALIFIED TO GIVE DATING ADVICE.
I'VE HAD EXACTLY TWO BOYFRIENDS, AND THEY BOTH LEFT.
REALLY LEFT. LEFT TOWN LEFT.
HONEY, YOU JUST HAD SOME BAD LUCK.
YOU'RE GOING TO THAT SPRING BREAK PARTY TONIGHT.
- MAYBE YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE THERE. - MM-HMM.
OR MAYBE BRIAN HAS A SON, AND MOM AND I CAN GO ON SOME AWKWARD DOUBLE DATES.
[ Gasping ] OH, GOD-- BRIAN. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
4:24.
- YOU SURE THE DRESS IS OKAY? - HMM.
SPIN AGAIN... REAL FAST THIS TIME.
WILLOW'S GOOD WITH ALL THAT COMPUTER STUFF, BUT ME NOT SO MUCH.
DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND ALL THAT?
OH. WELL, AT FIRST, IT WAS CONFUSING.
JUST THE IDEA OF COMPUTERS WAS, LIKE, "WHOA, I'M 1,100 YEARS OLD."
I HAD TROUBLE ADJUSTING TO THE IDEA OF LUTHERANS.
I GO ON-LINE SOMETIMES, BUT EVERYONE'S SPELLING IS REALLY BAD.
IT'S DEPRESSING. BUT YOU HAVE TO TRY ON-LINE TRADING.
IT'S GREAT. THE SECRET IS AVOIDING THE TECH COMPANIES...
EVERYONE WAS JUMPING ON AND GOING WITH THE SMALLER FIRMS...
THAT SUPPLY THE BASIC COMPONENTS. UH-HUH.
ANYWAY, I TOOK THE MONEY FROM WORKING FOR GILES, AND I TRIPLED IT.
TRIPLED? LIKE, FIRST MONEY, THEN MONEY, MONEY, MONEY? YES.
I'M THINKING ABOUT BUYING SOMETHING VERY EXPENSIVE-- MAYBE AN ANTELOPE.
HI. HI.
I'M LOOKING FOR WARREN. DO YOU KNOW WHERE WARREN IS? AND IF YOU DO, COULD YOU TELL ME?
UM, I DON'T THINK WE KNOW A WARREN.
WELL, ALL RIGHTY. NO HARM IN ASKING. THANKS.
- HI. DO YOU KNOW WARREN? I NEED TO FIND HIM. - [ Man ] UH, I'M SORRY.
YOU CAN DO ALL THIS STUFF WITH A REGULAR COMPUTER?
I'LL SHOW YOU. YOU CAN ALSO SEE THE WEBSITE I DESIGNED FOR THE MAGIC SHOP.
HUGE PHOTO OF ME.
♪♪ [ Stereo: Rock ] [ Chattering ]
HOW YOU DOIN'? HAVING O' THE FUN?
YOU KNOW, I AM. DANCING WITH YOU IS WAY BETTER...
THAN TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH SOME GOOD-LOOKING GUY.
I THINK I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN YOU WERE KICKING ME IN MY PUFFY GROIN.
I LET THEM DO THAT. DANCE TOGETHER.
THAT WAS ME. VERY NICE OF YOU.
[ Willow ] A GOOD DEED. [ Anya ] YES.
I'M EXPECTING A BIG KARMIC REWARD ANY SECOND NOW.
[ Giggling ]
THANK YOU.
♪♪ [ Tempo Change, Rhythmic Beat ]
BUFFY?
BEN! HEY. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE HERE.
AND AGAIN WITH THE NON-MEDICAL CLOTHING.
ACTUALLY, THESE ARE ORTHOPEDIC PANTS.
MAN, THAT SOUNDED SO FUNNY IN MY HEAD.
[ Forced Laughter ]
IT'S VERY, VERY FUNNY. IT'S FUNNY IN MY HEAD TOO.
HAVING A GOOD TIME? YEAH, I AM.
I WAS DANCING EARLIER, AND, YOU KNOW, MY FRIENDS ARE HERE, SO--
BUT, I MEAN, NOT THAT IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.
ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF? I AM NOW.
SO, UM, DO YOU MAYBE WANNA DANCE?
I'M NOT REALLY GOOD WITH RHYTHM.
SURE. I'D LOVE TO.
LET ME JUST DUMP THIS. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. OKAY.
LOOK AT THESE TINY GRAIN PATTIES.
THEY'RE WOVEN. THAT'S CRAFTSMANSHIP.
- [ Crunching ] - THEY AREN'T HANDWOVEN, YOU KNOW.
- THEN HOW? - [ Xander ] WELL, IT'S A MACHINE,
AND IT'S-- IT SORT OF-- IT PRESSES.
AND THERE MAY BE A MOLD OF SOME SORT--
WHO'S THAT?
WARREN?
OH, THAT GIRL. TARA AND I MET HER.
SHE SPEAKS WITH A STRANGE EVENNESS AND SELECTS HER WORDS A SHADE TOO PRECISELY.
SOME OF US LIKE THAT KIND OF THING IN A GIRL.
[ Girl ] WARREN?
HI. DID YOU GET ME A DRINK? GOTTA GO. SHE'S GONNA SEE ME.
SHE WHO? WHAT'S UP, WARREN? IT DOESN'T MATTER. COME ON.
- IS WARREN HERE? - I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING THE CRUNCHIES.
XANDER GOT HYPNOTIZED BY THE STRANGE GIRL. I AM REMAINING CALM, HOWEVER.
[ Xander ] UH-UH. NO, I'M-- I'M RIGHT WITH YOU.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. HERE SHE COMES.
I HEARD THAT WARREN WAS HERE. IS WARREN HERE?
UM, WARREN WHO?
HE'S... WARREN. AND HE'S LOOKING FOR ME.
HE LOST ME.
- IS WARREN HERE? - IT'S THAT GIRL AGAIN.
IS SHE STILL LOOKING FOR WARREN? WEIRD. IT'S BEEN, LIKE, ALL DAY.
THERE'S SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT HER. SHE TALKS FUNNY.
SOME MEN FIND THAT APPEALING.
- HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN WARREN? - [ Man ] WARREN? - I JUST HOPE SHE FINDS HIM.
SOMEHOW, I DON'T THINK A GIRL THAT LOOKS LIKE THAT'S GONNA BE LONELY FOR TOO LONG.
DEFINITELY NOT. OH, NOT ME.
I WAS JUST SAYING A PRETTY GIRL LIKE THAT,
THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE LURKING AROUND, LOOKING FOR SOME ACTION.
SMALL WORLD.
OH, DEAR. IF LOOKS COULD STAKE.
ARE YOU HAVING FUN, PET? YOU, UH, TROLLING FOR YOUR NEXT EX?
I GOTTA SAY, YOU COULD DO BETTER.
I TOLD YOU I W-- THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LEAVE TOWN?
IT'S A FREE COUNTRY. FREE PARTY.
IF YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE, YOU CAN PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY HOT, TIGHT LITTLE BODY AND MAKE ME.
GET AWAY FROM ME.
[ Sucks Teeth ]
[ Sighs ]
WAS THAT GUY BOTHERING YOU?
SHOULD I OFFER TO GET INAPPROPRIATELY VIOLENT OR SOMETHING?
NO. GOOD, 'CAUSE, HONESTLY, I DON'T WANNA.
SO, ARE YOU READY TO DANCE?
UM, FIRST-- WHAT'S THAT?
OH, YEAH, MY PHONE NUMBER.
I WAS GONNA TRY TO SUBTLY WORK IT INTO THE CONVERSATION, BUT IT DIDN'T PAN OUT--
AND I THOUGHT I SHOULD TRY TO GIVE IT TO YOU BEFORE YOU SEE ME DANCE.
YOU KNOW, IN CASE YOU WANNA GET COFFEE.
THANK YOU. UM, I JUST-- I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW...
THAT I KIND OF HAVE THIS BAD HISTORY IN WHICH, YOU KNOW,
WE GO GET COFFEE, AND, WELL, IT ALL ENDS WITH YOU LEAVING TOWN--
AND YOU JUST GOT HERE AND EVERYTHING--
APPARENTLY WE'D BE RISKING A TRAGIC CHAIN REACTION, BUT I JUST REALLY LIKE... COFFEE.
I THINK COFFEE MIGHT BE WORTH IT.
AND I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW COFFEE BETTER.
THEN I'LL CALL YOU.
- HAVE YOU SEEN WARREN? - NO. SORRY.
AND WHO ARE YOU, DARLING?
I'M APRIL.
I'M LOOKIN' FOR MY FELLA. MAYBE YOU JUST FOUND HIM.
REALLY? WHERE?
OHH!
- HEY! HEY! HEY! - [ Girl ] THAT WOULD BE WRONG.
YOU ARE NOT MY BOYFRIEND!
[ Glass Tinkling ]
BLOODY HELL. YOU THREW ME THROUGH A WINDOW.
- WHAT'S THAT ABOUT? - [ Girl ] YOU CANNOT MAKE THOSE SUGGESTIONS TO ME.
- I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. WARREN IS MY BOYFRIEND. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
MY BLEEDING SYMPATHIES TO WARREN.
NO ONE BUT WARREN CAN TOUCH ME.
EXCUSE ME. HI. UM, MAYBE YOU AND I COULD TALK,
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THROWING SPIKE THROUGH A WINDOW--
WELL, THAT'S REALLY GOOD. BUT, YOU KNOW, GENERALLY--
DO YOU KNOW MY BOYFRIEND? OKAY, I THINK YOU NEED TO TAKE A SECOND...
- AND STOP LOOKING FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND. - [ Man ] HEY, HEY, HEY.
I HAVE TO FIND HIM. [ Groans ] OW.
IF I HURT YOU JUST NOW, I AM SORRY.
AND I HOPE THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.
OW. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I'VE HAD IT...
WITH SUPER-STRONG LITTLE WOMEN WHO AREN'T ME.
AT LEAST SHE DIDN'T DO TOO MUCH DAMAGE. [ Xander ] ARE YOU KIDDING?
DOUBLE-GLAZED GLASS AIN'T CHEAP. AND THE JAMB NEEDS TO BE COMPLETELY REPAIRED.
OH, DEAR GOD. I'M THE GROWN-UP WHO SEES THE WORLD THROUGH MY JOB.
I'M LIKE MY UNCLE DAVE THE PLUMBER, AND I MUST BE SHUNNED.
- OKAY. - SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK SHE IS?
THIS MAY SOUND NUTS, BUT I KIND OF GOT THE IMPRESSION THAT SHE WAS A--
- ROBOT. - [ Xander ] OH, YEAH. A ROBOT.
YEAH, I WAS GONNA SAY ROBOT. WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE WANTS?
- WARREN, WHOEVER THAT IS. - IT'S GOTTA BE THE GUY THAT BUILT HER.
IT'S AN UNUSUAL NAME. THERE'S HARDLY ANY, EXCEPT WARREN BEATTY...
AND, YOU KNOW, PRESIDENT HARDING.
IT-IT'S PROBABLY NOT EITHER OF THEM.
- WIL, CAN YOU TRACK DOWN THIS GUY WITH ONLY A FIRST NAME? - GIVEN ENOUGH TIME.
I CAN GET A LIST OF THE SUNNYDALE STUDENTS NAMED WARREN TONIGHT,
BUT THEN WE'LL HAVE TO CALL THEM OR GO TO THEIR DORMS,
SO WE PROBABLY CAN'T START NARROWING IT DOWN TILL TOMORROW.
SHE COULD DO A LOT OF DAMAGE BY THEN. TO WHO? SPIKE?
SEE HOW VIGOROUSLY I DON'T CARE. SHE WAS LOOKING FOR THIS WARREN,
BUT IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE SHE WANTED TO HURT HIM.
SHE SAID HE'S HER BOYFRIEND. [ Willow ] I AGREE.
I'M NOT SURE THIS IS A CODE RED. IS THERE A CODE PINK?
WE NEED MORE CODES. [ Buffy ] OKAY.
WE'LL TRACK DOWN WARREN TOMORROW. TONIGHT, I BETTER GO BACK AND RESCUE GILES.
HE'S BEEN WATCHING DAWN WHILE MY MOM'S OUT ON HER DATE.
AND I HAVE A FEELING THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH HE CAN TAKE.
OH, GILES AND DAWNIE? I BET THEY ENDED UP HAVING A BLAST.
DEAR GOD, BUFFY, THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH I CAN TAKE. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM.
A 14 YEAR OLD'S TOO OLD TO BE BABY-SAT, AND IT'S NOT FAIR ON HER.
WHAT'D SHE MAKE YOU DO?
WELL, WE LISTENED TO AGGRESSIVELY CHEERFUL MUSIC SUNG BY PEOPLE...
CHOSEN FOR THEIR ABILITY TO DANCE.
THEN WE ATE COOKIE DOUGH AND TALKED ABOUT BOYS.
OH, I'M SORRY. I'M VERY, VERY SORRY,
BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, MY FUN-TIME BUFFY PARTY NIGHT...
INVOLVED WATCHING A ROBOT THROW SPIKE THROUGH A WINDOW.
SO IF YOU WANNA TRADE-- NO, WAIT.
I WOULDN'T GIVE THAT MEMORY UP FOR ANYTHING. A ROBOT? SOUNDS INTERESTING.
WE'RE GONNA WORK ON IT IN THE MORNING-- UNLESS YOU WANNA STAY. THEN YOU AND I COULD--
WHO WANTS TO HEAR EVERYTHING?
- LISTEN TO MY MOM TALK ABOUT BOYS. - RIGHT. MUST GO.
SEE YOU TOMORROW. BYE, JOYCE. BYE, RUPERT.
GOSH, I'D FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH FUN DATING CAN BE.
I DON'T KNOW. I WAS STANDING RIGHT HERE. I DIDN'T SEE PRINCE CHARMING.
I DIDN'T EVEN SEE A GOOD-NIGHT KISS. IT ALL LOOKED PRETTY TAME TO ME.
I SUPPOSE, BY YOUR STANDARDS, IT COULD SEEM PRETTY-- OH, DEAR.
WHAT? I LEFT MY BRA IN HIS CAR.
MOTHER! I'M JOKING.
[ Sighs ] GOOD GOD, THAT'S HORRIBLE.
DON'T DO THAT. I LEFT IT IN THE RESTAURANT.
NO MORE! NO MORE! NO MORE!
ON THE DESSERT CART. I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
[ Knocking ]
YEAH? WHAT?
HI. DOES WARREN LIVE HERE?
WHAT THE HELL? WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? IT'S 3:30.
YES, IT IS. DOES WARREN LIVE HERE?
OKAY, THEN. BYE.
AND YOU'RE CERTAIN SHE WAS A ROBOT? ABSOLUTELY.
SHE PRACTICALLY HAD "GENUINE MOLDED PLASTIC" STAMPED ON HER ASS.
JUST TRYING A LITTLE SPICY TALK.
SHE WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE NAMED WARREN.
- WIL'S ALREADY CHECKED THE SUNNYDALE ENROLLMENT. - AND GOT NOTHING.
I FOUND ONE WARREN, BUT HE MOVED OUT OF THE COUNTRY A YEAR AGO.
- I'M CHECKING NEARBY SCHOOLS. - WHOEVER HE IS, HE KNOWS HIS STUFF.
THAT GIRL, WELL-- [ Chuckles ] THAT WAS A NICE-LOOKING GIRL.
IT'S OKAY FOR HIM TO SAY THAT, 'CAUSE I KNOW THAT HE REALLY LOVES ME ONLY.
[ Giles ] IS THERE SOMETHING THE REST OF US COULD BE DOING?
- WHAT CAN WE DO? - DO YOU HAVE ANY BOOKS ON ROBOTS?
OH, YES. DOZENS. THERE'S AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF RESEARCH WE SHOULD DO BEFORE--
NO, I'M LYING. I HAVEN'T GOT SQUAT. I JUST LIKE TO SEE XANDER SQUIRM.
FUNNY. CHARMING AND FUNNY.
HEY, I-I THINK I FOUND HIM. A WARREN MEERS.
HE WENT TO SUNNYDALE HIGH WITH US FOR A SEMESTER,
THEN HE WENT TO THE TECH COLLEGE OVER IN DUTTON.
I'VE GOT A LOCAL ADDRESS WHERE HIS FOLKS STILL LIVE.
HE'S PROBABLY HOME FOR SPRING BREAK.
I'LL GO TALK TO HIM. NO, NO. WAIT. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WALKING INTO.
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HIS MOTIVE IS FOR BUILDING THIS THING.
UM, DON'T YOU THINK SHE'S JUST--
YEAH. SHE'S JUST SORT OF A--
SHE'S A "SEXBOT." WHAT GUY DOESN'T DREAM ABOUT THAT?
BEAUTIFUL GIRL WITH NO OTHER THOUGHT BUT TO PLEASE YOU,
WILLING TO DO ANYTHING.
TOO MANY GIRLS. I MISS OZ. HE'D GET IT.
HE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING, BUT HE'D GET IT.
WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT IF THEY COULD HAVE A REAL LIVE PERSON?
MAYBE HE COULDN'T... FIND A REAL PERSON.
OH, COME ON. THE GUY'S JUST A BIG WEDGE OF SLEAZE. DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIM.
[ Willow ] I'M NOT. I'M JUST SAYING PEOPLE GET LONELY.
MAYBE HAVING SOMEONE AROUND, EVEN SOMEONE YOU MADE UP--
MAYBE IT'S EASIER.
[ Tara ] BUT IT'S SO WEIRD. I MEAN,
EVERYONE WANTS A NICE, NORMAL PERSON TO, YOU KNOW, SHARE WITH,
BUT THIS GUY-- IF HE COULDN'T FIND THAT-- I GUESS IT'S KIND OF SAD.
[ Sighs ]
[ Gasping, Moaning ]
[ Telephone Ringing ] [ Gasps, Grunts ]
- HELLO? - HEY, BEN, IT'S BUFFY. IS THIS A BAD TIME?
- I KNOW IT'S KIND OF EARLY. - NO, I JUST-- I JUST GOT IN IS ALL.
NIGHT SHIFT AT THE HOSPITAL. I'M GLAD YOU CALLED.
WELL, I FOUND YOUR NUMBER IN MY POCKET,
AND, YOU KNOW, I FIGURED I'D PICK UP THE PHONE A COUPLE TIMES...
AND THEN HANG UP AND THEN FINALLY CALL...
AND SEE IF MAYBE YOU WANTED TO GET THAT CUP OF COFFEE OR DO WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO.
YEAH. YES, COFFEE WOULD BE GREAT.
TOMORROW NIGHT. SURE. BYE.
[ Sighs ] OH, FINE.
BUT WE JUST GOT HERE. IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE HERE, WHY DIDN'T WE JUST STAY IN DUTTON?
OR WE COULD'VE GONE TO MY SISTER'S.
KATRINA, I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR SISTER'S PLACE AGAIN. PACK YOUR STUFF NOW.
WHY THE RUSH? IT'S REAL EARLY.
ARE WE EVEN GONNA SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR MOM? YOU CAN CALL HER.
WARREN, IS SOMETHING GOING ON YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SEE?
KATRINA, IF YOU DON'T WANNA PACK, THAT'S FINE. WE CAN BUY NEW STUFF.
NOW, LET'S JUST GO.
- I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU. - WHO'S THIS?
- IS THIS ABOUT HER? - YES.
HER WHO? WARREN, SOMETHING'S GOING ON HERE. STRANGE GIRLS.
KATRINA, PLEASE BE QUIET, OKAY? THIS IS IMPORTANT. WAIT IN THE KITCHEN.
AND I'M NOT IMPORTANT? WARREN, JUST TELL HER TO GO AWAY. I CAN'T.
YOU'RE KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME-- OTHER GIRLS AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE.
TRINA, SHUT UP. THAT'S IT. FORGET IT, WARREN. I'M GONE.
NO. KATRINA!
MY NAME IS BUFFY SUMMERS. WE WERE AT SUNNYDALE HIGH TOGETHER. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
YES, I KNOW. APRIL. DID SHE HURT SOMEONE?
NOT YET. WELL, NO ONE THAT MATTERS.
SHE'S LOOKING FOR ME. SHE FOLLOWED ME HERE.
OKAY, KIND OF FIGURED THAT OUT. NO, NO. THERE'S MORE.
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HER. I KNOW.
NO, WAIT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. BELIEVE ME, I WORKED IT OUT.
NO, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY KNOW.
SHE'S A ROBOT. UH-HUH.
[ Dawn ] A ROBOT? REALLY? WAS IT TED?
'CAUSE THEY ALWAYS SAID THERE COULD'VE BEEN MORE THAN ONE OF HIM.
NOPE. WHOLE NEW ROBOT. THIS ONE WAS A GIRL.
BUFFY'S BUSY TRACKING DOWN THE GUY THAT MADE HER, SO I'LL DROP YOU OFF AT SCHOOL,
AND IF SHE'S NOT FINISHED, THEN--
- COMING THROUGH! COMING THROUGH! - [ Gasping ]
FIRE, FIRE!
[ Sighs ] HELLO, ALL. WHAT'S GOING ON, THEN?
SPIKE, YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE.
YEAH, AND BY THE WAY, WE'RE WORKING ON A WAY TO DE-INVITE YOU FROM HERE,
EVEN IF IT IS A PUBLIC PLACE.
NAH, FORGET IT. LETTING HIM IN IS GOOD, 'CAUSE THEN WE GET TO TOSS HIM OUT.
OOH, CAN WE THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW LIKE THE ROBOT DID?
- 'CAUSE THAT WAS NEAT. - ROBOT? THAT'S WHAT SHE WAS?
HUH. I KNEW SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT.
HEY! SOMEONE'S GLAD TO SEE ME. AREN'T YOU, LITTLE BIT?
STAY AWAY FROM ME.
- I THINK YOU'D BETTER GO. - OKAY, NOW. I WAS AFRAID OF THIS.
[ Sighs ] MISREPRESENTATIONS, MISUNDERSTANDINGS, SLURS AND ALLEGATIONS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT BUFFY TOLD YOU, BUT THE THING IS,
SLAYER AND I WORKED TOGETHER, SIDE BY SIDE,
TO GET RID OF DRU, WHO WAS UP TO NO GOOD, AND I DON'T MIND TELLING YOU--
SPIKE, LISTEN TO ME. IT'S JUST-- I'M TRYING TO EXPLAIN.
SHE MIGHT HAVE SAID SOME THINGS THAT SOUNDED...
LIKE I EXPRESSED SOME KIND OF FEELING--
WE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. WE ARE NOT YOUR WAY TO BUFFY.
THERE IS NO WAY TO BUFFY.
CLEAR OUT OF HERE.
AND, SPIKE, THIS THING-- GET OVER IT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. YES, YOU DO.
MOVE THE HELL ON.
[ Inhales Sharply ]
- I'M LOOKING FOR MY BOYFRIEND, WARREN. - WHAT?
HE COMES FROM HERE, AND I NEED HIM.
BUT IT'S CONFUSING, AND I'VE ALREADY WALKED A REALLY LONG WAY.
I'M SURE HE'S NEARBY. OH, WARREN! YOU'RE LOOKING FOR WARREN?
YES! DO YOU KNOW HIM? DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?
LET ME THINK.
PLEASE THINK. GEEZ, THIS IS TOO BAD. YOU JUST MISSED HIM.
YES? WHERE DID HE GO?
WARREN? UH, HE HEADED OUT, UH, THAT WAY. HURRY. YOU MIGHT CATCH HIM.
[ Sighs ] THANK YOU. I WAS GETTING VERY TIRED. THANK YOU.
WHO'S WARREN? HELL IF I KNOW.
SO YOU HAVE GIRL TROUBLES. THEY'RE NOT TALKING TO YOU. YOU'RE NOT GETTING DATES.
YOU START THINKING, "HEY, THIS ISN'T FAIR."
YEAH, I FELT LIKE I DESERVED TO HAVE SOMEONE. EVERYONE DESERVES TO HAVE SOMEONE.
SO, NATURALLY, YOU TURNED TO MANUFACTURING.
-KIND OF. -AND HOW LONG DID IT TAKE TO BUILD YOURSELF THAT LITTLE TOY?
OH, NO. SHE'S NOT A TOY. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, BUT SHE'S MORE THAN THAT.
LOOK, I'M SURE SHE HAS MANY EXCITING LABOR-SAVING ATTACHMENTS.
NO. I MADE HER TO LOVE ME.
I MEAN, SHE CARES ABOUT WHAT I CARE ABOUT, AND SHE WANTS TO BE WITH ME.
SHE LISTENS TO ME AND SUPPORTS ME.
I DIDN'T MAKE A TOY. I MADE A GIRLFRIEND.
A GIRLFRIEND? ARE YOU SAYING--
ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HER?
I REALLY THOUGHT I WOULD BE. I MEAN, SHE'S PERFECT.
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS IT WAS TOO EASY AND PREDICTABLE.
YOU KNOW, SHE GOT BORING. SHE WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED, AND I DIDN'T WANT HER.
- I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY. - REALLY? YOU?
THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED. KATRINA WAS IN MY ENGINEERING SEMINAR,
AND SHE WAS REALLY FUNNY AND COOL.
SHE WAS ALWAYS GIVING ME A HARD TIME, REAL UNPREDICTABLE.
SHE BUILDS THESE LITTLE MODEL MONORAILS THAT RUN WITH MAGNETS AND--
ANYWAY, I FELL IN LOVE WITH KATRINA.
SWELL. ROMANCE AND MAGNETIC TRAINS.
BUT FIRST, YOU DECIDED TO TAKE APRIL OUT OF THE BOX, PLAY WITH HER...
FOR FIVE MINUTES, AND THEN WHAT?
YOU GOT BORED, DECIDED TO DUMP HER, TELL HER TO GO AWAY?
- KIND OF. - AND SHE GOT MAD. SHE DIDN'T GO, HUH?
OKAY, I DIDN'T REALLY DUMP HER AS MUCH AS I WENT OUT AND DIDN'T COME BACK.
I LEFT HER. I LEFT HER IN MY DORM ROOM.
YOU LEFT HER IN YOUR DORM ROOM?
I FIGURED I COULD JUST GET AWAY UNTIL HER BATTERIES GAVE UP, WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN DAYS AGO.
DID YOU EVEN TELL HER? DID YOU EVEN GIVE HER A CHANCE TO FIX WHAT WAS WRONG?
I DIDN'T NEED TO FIX ANYTHING. HER BATTERIES WERE SUPPOSED TO RUN DOWN.
REALLY, THEY SHOULD BE COMPLETELY DEAD BY NOW. SO WHY AREN'T THEY?
I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE-- SHE MUST BE RECHARGING THEM SOMEHOW.
WARREN, THIS IS IMPORTANT. IS SHE DANGEROUS?
SHE'S ONLY PROGRAMMED TO BE IN LOVE.
THEN SHE'S DANGEROUS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO FIND HER?
SHE'S LOOKING FOR ME, SO MY GUESS IS SHE'S PROBABLY PRETTY CLOSE.
[ Distant Chattering ]
HI. [ Scoffs ]
DO YOU KNOW WHERE WARREN IS? I NEED TO GET TO WARREN.
THIS IS GETTING INSANE. HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE?
THERE'S ONLY ME-- APRIL. APRIL?
FINE. LISTEN UP, APRIL. WARREN IS MY BOYFRIEND. MINE.
AND YOU OTHERS PROBABLY OUGHT TO FIGURE THAT OUT. OW!
OW! LET GO! DON'T GO.
YOU HAVE TO STAY AND TELL THE TRUTH. WHAT?
STOP. [ Gasping ] YOU'RE LYING.
HE CANNOT BE YOUR BOYFRIEND. SAY THAT HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.
I CAN'T-- [ Gasping ] I CAN'T BREATHE.
LET GO. [ Ribs Crack ]
[ Gasping ] YOU HAVE TO STOP LYING.
BLOODY RIGHT, I'LL MOVE ON.
APRIL! APRIL, ARE YOU THERE?
IF THE BATTERIES ARE STILL WORKING AND SHE HEARS MY VOICE, THEN SHE'LL ANSWER.
SHE'S VOICE-ACTIVATED? I MADE IT SO THAT...
IF SHE HEARD ME AND DIDN'T ANSWER, IT CAUSES THIS KIND OF FEEDBACK.
WAIT. IF YOU CALL HER AND SHE DOESN'T ANSWER, IT HURTS HER?
YOU'RE ONE CREEPY LITTLE DWEEB, WARREN. APRIL!
WARREN.
- APRIL. - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I COULDN'T FIND YOU, AND THIS GIRL KEPT LYING TO ME,
AND THEN SHE WENT TO SLEEP.
APRIL, WHAT DID YOU DO?
PLEASE DON'T BE ANGRY, WARREN. I'M TRYING VERY HARD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
APRIL, I WANT YOU TO PUT THE GIRL DOWN.
WARREN, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
TALK TO HER. PUT HER DOWN!
THIS IS BUFFY. GIVE KATRINA TO BUFFY.
IS SHE BROKEN?
- SHE'S ALIVE. - THANK GOD.
WARREN, HONEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY DID YOU GO AWAY? IS IT A GAME?
NO, NO. THIS ISN'T A GAME. DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?
I WAITED A LONG TIME, AND YOU NEVER CAME BACK. A LONG TIME.
- I MADE YOU FIVE SWEATERS. - THAT'S GREAT. YOU COULD GO BACK THERE AND GET THEM.
- SO YOU COULD WAIT THERE-- - WARREN. YOU HAVE TO TELL HER. AND DO IT RIGHT.
WHAT IS SHE SAYING, WARREN? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO TELL ME?
- APRIL, I MADE A MISTAKE. - YOU CAN'T MAKE MISTAKES.
NO. I DID.
I THOUGHT THAT I MADE YOU EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED-- [ Computer Processing ]
BUT IT WASN'T WHAT I REALLY WANTED.
I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S OVER.
BUT I CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT.
I LOVE YOU. I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. WOULD YOU LIKE A NECK RUB?
NO. SEE, I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME, BUT THE TRUTH IS, I CAN'T LOVE YOU.
- IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT... I DON'T LOVE YOU. - [ Static ]
[ Warning Signal ] I LOVE HER.
- [ Growling ] - SHE GROWLS?
- YOU MADE HER SO SHE GROWLS? - WELL, I--
- [ Short-Circuiting ] - WHAT'S GOING ON? - [ Warren ] NO, NO, TRINA.
GET AWAY.
WHAT IS-- WHAT-- THAT'S A ROBOT.
SHE WASN'T JUST FOR SEX. IS THAT-- IS THAT YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND?
[ Stammering ] NO. GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!
NO, NO, TRINA. NO. WAIT. LISTEN TO ME. NO.
[ Short-Circuiting ]
YOU TOOK MY MAN. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.
I'M GOING TO--
[ High-Pitched Tone ] I CAN'T-- CAN'T CRUSH--
[ Gasping ] SO... TIRED.
[ Grunts, Coughs ] WARREN?
WHERE ARE YOU?
[ Mechanical Whirring, Slowing ] WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?
CAN YOU CRY? SOMETIMES I FEEL BETTER WHEN I CRY.
BUT THERE MIGHT BE RUST ISSUES. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
GOOD GIRLFRIENDS DON'T CRY. OH.
I'VE RECHECKED EVERYTHING.
I DID EVERYTHING I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. I WAS A GOOD GIRLFRIEND.
I'M SURE YOU WERE.
I'M ONLY SUPPOSED TO LOVE HIM. IF I CAN'T DO THAT, WHAT AM I FOR?
WHAT DO I EXIST FOR?
I DON'T KNOW. IT ISN'T FAIR. HE WASN'T FAIR TO YOU.
IT'S GETTING DARK. IT'S SO EARLY TO BE DARK.
YEAH.
WHAT IF HE COMES BACK AND HE CAN'T FIND ME IN THE DARK?
I'M HERE. I'LL MAKE SURE THAT HE FINDS YOU.
MAYBE THIS IS A GIRLFRIEND TEST.
IF I WAIT HERE PATIENTLY THIS TIME, HE'LL COME BACK.
I'M SURE HE WILL.
AND HE'LL-- HE'LL TELL YOU HOW SORRY HE IS.
YOU KNOW, HE TOLD ME HOW PROUD HE WAS OF YOU...
AND HOW IMPRESSED HE WAS WITH HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HIM...
AND HOW YOU TRIED TO HELP HIM.
HE DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU.
HE'S GOING TO TAKE ME HOME, AND THINGS'LL BE RIGHT AGAIN.
IT'LL BE FINE.
WHEN THINGS ARE SAD, YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT,
BECAUSE--
BECAUSE EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING.
AND WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS,
MAKE LEMONADE.
CLOUDS AND LEMONADE, HUH? YES.
AND-- AND THINGS ARE... [ Mechanical Sputtering ]
[ Voice Lowering And Slowing ] ALWAYS DARKEST...
BEFORE-- [ Mechanical Whirring Peters Out ]
SEE, YOU CONSTRUCT THE WOOD JAMB AND FRAME THE GLASS INTO IT,
AND THAT'S WHAT YOU SET INTO THE OPENING.
- YEAH? - ONE OF THE COOL THINGS ABOUT THAT, YOU SEE,
IS THE JAMB CAN BE SHIMMED TO BE SQUARE, EVEN IF THE OPENING ISN'T.
SHIMMED? IS THAT EVEN A REAL WORD? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
YEAH, I DO. SCARY, ISN'T IT?
I THINK I'VE ACTUALLY TURNED INTO SOMEONE YOU WANT AROUND AFTER A CRAZED ROBOT ATTACK.
AND IF YOU EVER START YOUR OWN BUSINESS, YOU'LL HAVE YOUR SLOGAN RIGHT THERE.
- AND SHE WASN'T CRAZED. - YEAH?
SHE DEVOTED EVERYTHING TO MAKING THIS ONE PERSON HAPPY.
AND THEN IT WAS LIKE WITH HIM GONE, THERE WAS JUST NO REASON FOR HER TO EXIST ANYMORE.
ROBOTS ARE THE STRANGEST PEOPLE.
NO. PEOPLE ARE THE STRANGEST PEOPLE.
I MEAN, LOOK AT ME OBSESSING ABOUT BEING WITH SOMEONE.
IT'S, LIKE, I DON'T NEED A GUY RIGHT NOW.
I NEED ME.
I NEED TO GET COMFORTABLE BEING ALONE WITH BUFFY.
WELL, I'LL SAY THIS-- SHE'S A PRETTY COOL PERSON TO BE ALONE WITH.
THANK YOU.
HI. IT'S BUFFY. UM, I HOPE THIS IS YOUR MACHINE. THERE WASN'T A MESSAGE.
ANYWAY, UM, ABOUT COFFEE--
I, UM-- I JUST--
I DON'T THINK THIS IS THE BEST TIME FOR ME TO BE DRINKING... COFFEE.
[ Over Machine ] UM, I'M SORRY. AND, UM, BYE.
[ Line Clicks Off ] WHAT THE HELL?
IF I MAY, YOUR INCONCEIVABLENESS,
IT SOUNDS TO THESE HUMBLE EARS LIKE OUR BEN...
TRIED TO MAKE A DATE WITH THE SLAYER.
A DATE WITH THE SLAYER?
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
HE IS PLANNING SOMETHING. HE'S WORKING AGAINST ME.
SHE TURNED US DOWN?
TRINA-- NO, WAIT. LISTEN. I'M SO SORRY.
YES, I AM-- NO, NO. JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.
YES! NO, BUT SHE-- NO, NO. LISTEN. I'LL DO ANYTHING.
JUST-- NO, NO! DON'T HANG UP!
[ Yells ] HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE? YOUR MUM LET ME IN.
I'M PLACING AN ORDER.
OH, NO. I'M NOT MAKING ANY MORE GIRLS. SURE, YOU ARE.
HERE'S YOUR SPECS.
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HER REAL GOOD FOR ME.
HEY, MOM. OH.
STILL A COUPLE OF GUYS GETTIN' IT RIGHT.
HEY, FLOWER-GETTING LADY, WANT ME TO PICK DAWN UP FROM SCHOOL?
MOM?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
MOM?
MOMMY?
GRR! ARRGH!