BUFFY'S LIKE NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD.
BUT SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME.
PREVIOUSLY ON BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? PROFESSOR WALSH IMPLANTED THE BEHAVIOR MODIFIER.
Riley ] THE CHIP IN MY HEAD. [ Adam ] ACTUALLY, THE CHIP IS HERE,
TIED DIRECTLY INTO YOUR CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM THROUGH THE THORACIC NERVE.
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME? [ Buffy ] ENGELMAN SAID WALSH WAS FEEDING YOU DRUGS.
[ Riley ] SOMETHING'S CRAWLING INSIDE.
I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE DAMAGE
OUR GUYS COULD DO UNDER THE STRESS OF WITHDRAWAL.
BUFFY, IF YOU'RE GOING OUT, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR SISTER?
MOM! MOM!
NOBODY KNOWS WHO I AM. NOT THE REAL ME.
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.
NO ONE HAS AN OLDER SISTER WHO'S A SLAYER.
[ Animal Howling ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Panting ]
[ Snarling Fades ]
[ Growling ]
RILEY? BUFFY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MY JOB. WELL, I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE IN THE NORTH SECTOR.
WATCH OUT! [ Roaring ]
[ Bone Cracking ]
NEVER MIND.
[ Growling ] [ Gasps ]
WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TO SHOW UP?
SPIKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SAME REASON AS YOU AND YOUR CUB SCOUT HERE, I WAGER.
WANTED A SPOT OF VIOLENCE BEFORE BEDTIME.
[ Sniffs ] [ Growls ]
WHAT? I SOFTENED HIM UP.
YOU BETTER KEEP OUT OF MY WAY, SPIKE. I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER.
AND I SHOULD DO WHAT WITH MY SPARE TIME? SIT AT HOME KNITTING CUNNING SWEATER SETS?
WOULD IT KEEP YOU OUT OF MY WAY? SHE'S RIGHT.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE OUT HERE WHEN SHE'S PATROLLING.
OH! I SAW THAT.
LOOKS LIKE NEITHER BOY IS ENTIRELY WELCOME.
YOU SHOULD TAKE HIM HOME, SLAYER, MAKE HIM STAY THERE.
I'VE GOT KNITTING NEEDLES HE CAN BORROW.
SPIKE, I JUST SAW YOU TASTE YOUR OWN NOSE BLOOD. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M TOO GROSSED OUT TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY. GO HOME.
IT'S BLOOD. IT'S WHAT I DO.
HEY, HOPE I DIDN'T GET IN THE WAY. OF COURSE NOT.
I WAS JUST STARTLED, AND YOU KNOW I DON'T LOVE THE IDEA...
OF YOU PATROLLING ALONE.
NOT MUCH FOR BENCHWARMING. NO. YOU MADE THE SQUAD.
YOU THREW THAT VAMPIRE LIKE HE WAS A TEENY-WEENY LITTLE VAMPIRE.
HEY, YOU WANT TO GO AGAIN? COME ON. I BET THIS PLACE IS JUST TEEMING...
WITH AERODYNAMIC VAMPIRES.
NAH. UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO BACK AND KILL SPIKE FOR THE FUN OF IT.
I WILL KNOW YOUR BLOOD, SLAYER.
I WILL MAKE YOUR NECK MY CHALICE...
AND DRINK DEEP.
[ Sniffs ]
OW!
YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ARGUING...
THAT MARAT DIDN'T BETRAY THE FRENCH REVOLUTIONARIES.
THIS WAS THE GUY WHO DECLARED THE RIGHTS OF MAN,
AND THEN THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, HE'S KILLING GIRONDIN LIKE IT'S GOING OUT OF STYLE.
WIL, YOU'RE TOTALLY MISSING MY POINT. NOW, I AGREE THAT MARAT WASN'T A REAL MARTYR.
BUT THE DEATH IN THE TUB, THE NECK WOUND,
ALL THAT BLOOD-- JUST A LITTLE MORE FANGY THAN KNIFEY.
AND CHARLOTTE CORDAY WASN'T A REAL MARTYR EITHER-- BUFFY.
WHAT? LISTEN TO US. WE'RE ARGUING.
WE'RE HAVING A DEBATE ABOUT A COLLEGE LECTURE.
I HAVE DREAMT OF THIS DAY SINCE... FOREVER.
YOU ARE TURNING INTO QUITE THE STUDENT.
SHOULD I BE WATCHING MY OCCIPITAL LOBE?
YOUR WHAT? OCCIPITAL.
THE LOBE IN THE BACK OF YOUR BRAIN. YOU KNOW, LIKE, SHOULD I BE WATCHING MY BACK?
BUT, YOU KNOW, THE BACK OF YOUR BRAIN.
APPARENTLY NOT. DON'T WORRY, WIL.
YOU STILL WEAR THE SMARTY-PANTS IN THE FAMILY.
I DON'T KNOW. YOU'VE BEEN STUDYING REALLY A LOT. I'M TRYING.
THEY'RE ALREADY PILING ON ALL THE READING, AND GILES FILLS...
ANY FREE TIME I HAVE WITH EXTRA TRAINING.
I'M STARTING TO THINK THIS WORKING HARD IS HARD WORK.
ISN'T IT CRAZY LIKE THAT? I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE IN THE MOVIES.
YOU KNOW, INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC, A MONTAGE,
ME SHARPENING MY PENCILS, ME READING, WRITING,
FALLING ASLEEP ON A BIG PILE OF BOOKS WITH MY GLASSES ALL CROOKED--
'CAUSE IN MY MONTAGE, I HAVE GLASSES--
BUT REAL LIFE IS SLOW, AND IT'S STARTING TO HURT MY OCCIPITAL LOBE.
OH. POOR BUFFY'S BRAIN.
ACTUALLY, I'M HEADING TO TRAINING RIGHT NOW. YOU WANT TO COME WITH?
I'M IN. MAYBE WE CAN ARGUE SOME MORE ABOUT THE FRENCH REVOLUTION.
HEY! WASN'T THAT ROBESPIERRE THE COOLEST?
ROBESPIERRE? YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?
I'M JUST GETTIN' IT GOIN'.
[ Giles ] IT SEEMS THE PLANS WORKED PERFECTLY.
YEAH, BLUEPRINTS. NOT A BAD IDEA.
THAT AND GETTING STRAIGHT, "MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE."
YOU KNOW, FOR THE LONGEST TIME, I HAD IT BACKWARDS. MESSY.
WELL, I MUST SAY, I'M VERY IMPRESSED.
YEAH, CARPENTRY IS PRETTY COOL. [ Knocking ]
OH! WHO PUT THE MONKEY HEAD NEAR THE STYX WATER?
DO WE WANT TO PICK EXPLODED MONKEY OUT OF OUR HAIR?
TRICK OR TREAT. HI, YOU TWO. COME ON IN.
THANK YOU, KIND PROPRIETOR. HEY, YOU.
HEY! OH, WOW. THIS PLACE LOOKS GREAT.
OH, I FEEL LIKE A WITCH IN A MAGIC SHOP.
OH. ARE THESE REAL NEWT EYES?
NO. TOO RICH FOR MY BLOOD, I'M AFRAID.
NO, THESE ARE SALAMANDER EYES. IT'S THE CATARACTS...
WHICH GIVE THEM THEIR NEWT-LIKE APPEARANCE.
THEY'RE REALLY EQUALLY EFFECTIVE THOUGH.
IT'S JUST A MATTER OF OVERCOMING SNOBBERY.
[ Xander ] I'M TELLIN' YOU, GILES. YOU GOTTA SET UP A BLIND TASTE TEST...
AND PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT GENERIC AMPHIBIAN EYEBALLS ARE JUST AS GOOD.
I DON'T KNOW. IF YOU ASK ME, THE NEWT NAME STILL MEANS SOMETHING.
YOU READY TO TRAIN? YOU BETCHA.
SHALL WE THEN? WE SHALL THEN.
I JUST KEEP THINKING HOW COOL IT WOULD BE...
IF WE GOT A REAL PSYCHIC TO SIT UP HERE AND READ FORTUNES AND STUFF.
YOU SHOULD DO IT.
NOT ME, BUT I'D LOVE TO WATCH AND LEARN FROM SOMEONE WHO'S REALLY GOOD, YOU KNOW?
YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.
I'LL PROVE IT. HERE. DO ME.
HMM. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
WILLOW HAND.
[ Buffy Grunts ]
OW! RILEY!
JUST KEEPING YOU ON YOUR TOES. OR OFF THEM, AS IT WERE.
WHAT GOT INTO--
OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. IT'S JUST A START.
YOU NEED A PROPER SPACE TO TRAIN, SO-- I LOVE IT.
SO COME ON. LET'S TEST THIS PUPPY OUT. THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?
WHAT'S THE MATTER? AFRAID OF A LITTLE COMPETITION?
THIS MUST'VE BEEN SO MUCH WORK.
I'M THE DUMMY MAN. I MEAN, I MADE THE DUMMY--
THE THING THAT YOU HIT THAT DOESN'T HIT BACK-- THAT, UH, I MADE.
IT'S GREAT. IT'S ALL GREAT.
WELL, YOU'VE EARNED IT. TRULY. THANK YOU, GUYS, SO MUCH.
YOU'RE LIKE MY FAIRY GODMOTHER AND SANTA CLAUS...
AND "Q" ALL WRAPPED UP INTO ONE.
"Q" FROM BOND, NOT STAR TREK.
I'M GONNA GO CHANGE.
[ Panting ]
OH, PACEY!
YOU BLIND IDIOT. CAN'T YOU SEE SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU?
[ Pounding On Door ]
[ Door Unlatching ] [ Panting ]
WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOKEE HERE. IS IT SAFE?
HAS BUFFY GOTTEN TO YOU YET?
I SAW HER PATROLLING JUST NOW... WITH A STAKE.
SHE WON'T GIVE UP UNTIL SHE'S KILLED ME TO DEATH.
BUFFY'S LOOKING FOR YOU? OF COURSE.
THAT'S WHY I'M ON THE LAM.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR? I'M TOTALLY HER ARCH NEMESIS.
IS THAT RIGHT? I MUST'VE MISSED THE MEMO.
THERE WAS A MEM-- [ Exhales ] SPIKE, OH, MY GOD!
THIS IS, LIKE, A REAL EMERGENCY.
I NEED A HIDEOUT SO BAD. YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.
WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO RISE ABOVE OUR PETTY DIFFERENCES.
LISTEN, SPIKE. I'M DESPERATE.
DESPERATE, ARE YOU? COME ON, SPIKE.
PRETTY PLEASE?
I'LL DO ANYTHING. ANYTHING, WILL YOU?
YEAH. I SAID I'LL DO ANYTHING.
OH.
YOU MEAN, WILL I HAVE SEX WITH YOU?
WELL, YEAH.
TAKING UP SMOKING, ARE YOU?
I AM A VILLAIN, SPIKE. HELLO.
[ Coughing ] I GUESS YOU ARE AT THAT--
[ Wheezing ] WHAT WITH THE SLAYER ON YOUR TAIL AND ALL.
SHE'S NOT THE TYPE TO GIVE UP EITHER. SHE'LL HUNT YOU DOWN, DAY AND NIGHT...
TILL YOU'RE TOO TIRED AND TOO HUNGRY TO RUN ANYMORE.
AND THEN--
THEN, THAT IS YOU.
I GUESS YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KILL HER.
I TRIED. IT WAS ALL HARD AND STUFF.
YOU DO IT. I'D LOVE TO.
BUT I CAN'T, REMEMBER?
I'VE GOT THIS CUTE LITTLE GOVERNMENT CHIP IN MY HEAD.
ALL RIGHT. GUESS IT'LL HAVE TO BE ME AFTER ALL.
CAN YOU HELP WITH THE THINKING?
YEAH, I SUPPOSE I COULD DO THAT.
MMM. YEAH.
MMM. THAT WAS RELAXING.
YOU, UH, WANT TO RELAX SOME MORE? AGAIN?
RIGHT AWAY AGAIN?
MAYBE YOU'RE TOO TIRED. HEY, I HAVE THE ENDURANCE OF 10 MEN.
LET'S MAKE IT WOMEN, OKAY? JUST FOR THE IMAGERY.
WHATEVER. YOU KNOW, IT TAKES A LOT TO WEAR ME OUT.
MMM, I LOVE A CHALLENGE. MMM.
WELL, WOULDN'T YOU? EVERY KID TRIES TO MAKE THE SUBSTITUTE CRY.
IT'S LIKE A RITE OF PASSAGE. I CERTAINLY WOULD NOT.
BEING A SUBSTITUTE IS AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT JOB. BESIDES--
HONESTLY, DAWN. HOW MANY BOWLS OF CEREAL ARE YOU PLANNING ON EATING?
OH, THESE AREN'T FOR EATING.
I'M JUST TRYING TO GET THE EXTRA OUT OF THE WAY, SO I COULD...
GET THIS.
ANYWAY, I WANT EGGS.
YOU WANT THE CEREAL PRIZE, BUT YOU DON'T WANT THE CEREAL.
YOU ARE GROWING UP. ALL RIGHTY. HALF AN OMELETTE COMING UP.
OH, UM, WITH KETCHUP, IF YOU PLEASE. MM-HMM.
OH, WHAT IS THE-- WHO ARE YOU?
OH!
[ Panting ]
[ Whimpering ]
[ Touch-Tones Beeping ]
[ Woman Over P.A., Indistinct ]
HEY, HOW'S MOM? ARE YOU OKAY? I'M OKAY.
AND YOUR MOM'S DOING JUST FINE.
THIS IS BEN. HE GAVE ME HIS STETHOSCOPE. LENT YOU HIS STETHOSCOPE.
BUFFY, RIGHT? I'M BEN. I'M AN INTERN HERE.
I'VE HAD THE PLEASURE OF HANGING OUT WITH DR. DAWN HERE WHILE YOUR MOM'S BEING TESTED.
SO WHAT'S GOIN' ON? WHAT HAPPENED? WELL, SHE'S DOING OKAY NOW.
THE DOCTORS DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT CAUSED THE COLLAPSE.
[ Faint ] IT COULD'VE JUST BEEN A DIZZY SPELL, LOW BLOOD SUGAR, THAT SORT OF THING.
BUT IT'S NOTHING BAD? I MEAN, IT'S NOT SERIOUS, RIGHT?
[ Faint ] VERY UNLIKELY. SO YOUR MOM DOESN'T HAVE A HISTORY OF FAINTING?
[ Regular Heartbeat ] [ Buffy ] NOT THAT I KNOW OF. SHE'S USUALLY REALLY HEALTHY.
I THINK THEY'LL BE RUNNING TESTS FOR A FEW MORE HOURS,
AND THEN THEY'LL PROBABLY WANT HER TO COME BACK FOR SOME FOLLOW-UP TESTS...
IN A COUPLE WEEKS, BUT IT REALLY DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYTHING TOO SERIOUS.
[ Full Volume ] THANK GOD. I WAS FREAKING OUT.
[ Ben, Faint ] I THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TAKE HER HOME BEFORE TOO LONG.
[ Racing Heartbeat ] THAT'S DEFINITELY GOOD NEWS.
I KNOW I'M REPEATING MYSELF HERE, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY TO CONVINCE YOU.
I HAVE NEVER, IN ALL MY YEARS OF MEDICINE, LET A PATIENT...
WITH TACHYCARDIA THIS SEVERE LEAVE A HOSPITAL.
YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T KEEP ME. LEGALLY, NO.
I CAN'T FORCE YOU TO DO A THING, BUT WITH THAT PULSE, BELIEVE ME,
I'D GET ON MY KNEES AND BEG YOU IF I THOUGHT I COULD CHANGE YOUR MIND.
YOU CAN'T. I'M GOIN' HOME. AND YOUR FRIEND HERE CAN'T CONVINCE YOU TO--
I'M GOING.
ALL RIGHT THEN. BUT YOU'RE LEAVING AGAINST MY RECOMMENDATION.
WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IF YOU HAVE A HEART ATTACK?
LISTEN TO ME. CALM DOWN. ME, CALM DOWN? I'M NOT THE ONE WITH THE PULSE OF 150.
MY HEART'S DIFFERENT THAN YOURS, BUFFY. IT WORKS DIFFERENTLY NOW, BUT IT'S OKAY.
BUT YOU'RE STILL A HUMAN, RILEY. YOU COULD STILL HAVE A HEART ATTACK.
I'M A HUMAN WHO WAS USED AS A LAB RAT FOR MONTHS.
[ Door Opens ] HI.
HEY. HOW ARE YOU?
OH. EMBARRASSED MOSTLY. I'M SORRY TO PUT YOU THROUGH THIS,
BUT NO MORE TESTS, SO YOU CAN TAKE THIS PINCUSHION HOME.
YES. LET'S, UH, GET OUT OF HERE.
WHAT ABOUT A CROSSWORD? SOME PEOPLE SAY FEED A COLD. I SAY PUZZLE IT.
OH, NO, THANKS, WILLOW. I LIKE CHICKEN FINGERS WITH MUSTARD WHEN I'M SICK.
I KNOW YOU DO, SWEETIE. I CAN MAKE US SOME LATER.
UH, UH-UH. YOU ARE SITTING RIGHT HERE ON THIS COUCH TODAY.
I FEEL SILLY LYING HERE LIKE A LUMP. YOU COULD MAKE A GAME OUT OF IT.
A VERY QUIET GAME ABOUT BEING A LUMP.
I FEEL FINE. HONESTLY, I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT RILEY THAN I AM ABOUT ME.
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE THINKING ABOUT THAT. HE'S NOT WORRIED, SO I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BE.
I DON'T GET WHAT HE'S THINKING. WHY ISN'T HE WORRIED?
MAYBE HE THINKS HIS BODY CAN HANDLE IT. HE IS IN REALLY GOOD SHAPE.
NOBODY'S BODY CAN HANDLE A HEART ATTACK. I KNOW.
I'M SORRY, BUFFY. I'M TRYING TOO HARD TO MAKE IT OKAY.
I JUST KEEP COMING BACK TO THE INITIATIVE.
IT DOES HAVE THAT ICKY GOVERNMENT FEEL TO IT. DID YOU KNOW THAT ONE TIME,
THE C.I.A. TRIED TO KILL FIDEL CASTRO WITH A POISONOUS ASPIRIN?
DAWN, PLEASE.
[ Sighs ] I KNOW I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT.
ANOTHER TIME, THE C.I.A.-- DAWN!
IT'S IMPORTANT.
TRIED TO MAKE CASTRO GO CRAZY BY PUTTING ITCHING POWDER IN HIS BEARD.
IT'S ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT.
CALL THE INITIATIVE.
IF THEY KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM, THEY HAVE TO HELP.
YEAH, BUT CALL THEM HOW? FIRST OF ALL, THEY DON'T EXIST ANYMORE,
AND SECONDLY, THEY NEVER CLAIMED TO EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE.
IT'S SO UNFAIR. IT'S LIKE BIG BROTHER CAN SPY ON YOU ALL THE TIME,
AND THE SECOND I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, NO ONE WILL LISTEN.
SOUNDS MORE LIKE BIG SISTER. THERE HAS TO BE A WAY.
LIKE WHAT? TAKE A TOUR OF THE WHITE HOUSE...
AND PRETEND TO GET LOST AND LOOK FOR SOME DOOR WITH A SIGN ON IT...
THAT SAYS "SECRET GOVERNMENT MONSTER HUNTERS"?
IF THEY'RE REALLY SPYING ON YOU ALL THE TIME, SAY SOMETHING SO YOU KNOW THEY'LL HEAR YOU.
LIKE SOMETIMES, I WRITE FAKE THINGS IN MY DIARY IN CASE--
I GOTTA GO. UH, SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
[ Door Opening ] WHAT'D I SAY?
RILEY?
[ Dial Tone, Clicking ]
RILEY'S IN TROUBLE. HE NEEDS HELP.
KICK IT UP! [ Guys Shouting, Chattering, Indistinct ]
OH, KICK IT UP! KICK IT! GO ON! GO ON! GO ON!
HIT IT! ARE YOU KIDDING?
[ Indistinct Yelling ]
HELP.
[ Arguing, Indistinct ] I'M OUT.
[ Ball Dribbling ] LET'S GO.
[ Sighs ] GRAHAM.
RILEY.
CAN WE TALK?
THIS IS AGENT GOODMAN, AGENT BROWN. [ Riley Exhales ]
SO TALK. WHAT'S GOIN' ON, MAN?
WE GOTTA GET THIS TAKEN CARE OF IMMEDIATELY.
WE GOTTA GET YOU INTO AN OPERATING ROOM. VERY CONVINCING.
MAKES ME COMPLETELY WANT TO PUT MYSELF UNDER GOVERNMENT CONTROL.
PLEASE TAKE ME TO WHERE THEY CAN MAKE ME UNCONSCIOUS AND NAKED.
HEY, YOU THINK I'D PULL SOMETHIN' ON YOU? YOU'RE STILL IN. I'M OUT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ORDERS YOU'RE FOLLOWIN'. OH, COME ON.
YOU KNOW WALSH PUMPED ALL THOSE CHEMICALS AND CRAP INTO US. YOU GOT MORE THAN ANYONE.
SHE MESSED US UP BAD.
NOW THE GOVERNMENT'S KNOCKIN' THEMSELVES OUT TO KISS IT AND MAKE IT BETTER.
RILEY, I'M TELLIN' YOU. YOU NEED HELP. I'M NOT SAYIN' IT TO TRICK YOU.
WELL, MAYBE YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT. I KNOW IT.
YOU DON'T WANT THIS.
YOU SURE YOU GOT THE FIX FOR IT? YEAH.
WE GOT A GUY, A DOCTOR.
HE'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU, AND WE'RE GOIN' TO HIM NOW.
I'M NOT GIVIN' YOU A CHOICE.
I GUESS YOU'RE NOT.
SO YOU MESSED UP, AND HE'S GONE, AND WHEN ARE YOU EVEN GONNA TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
I'M NOT PERMITTED TO SAY. SAY.
HYPER-ADRENAL OVERLOAD AND A BUNCH OF STUFF THAT SOUNDS EVEN WORSE THAN THAT,
AND ALL IT MEANS IS HE'S WAY STRONGER THAN HE OUGHT TO BE AND FEELING NO PAIN.
HIS HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. WE'VE BEEN AT HIM FOR WEEKS ABOUT IT.
THERE'S A SPECIALIST WAITING AT SUNNYDALE GENERAL, FOURTH FLOOR, NEUROLOGY.
GET RILEY THERE, 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T-- I'LL GET HIM THERE.
I'LL TELL THE DOC.
AND, BUFFY-- IF YOU TELL ME TO HURRY,
I'LL KICK YOUR ASS.
POOR RILEY. COULD HE SIMPLY HAVE GONE BACK TO HIS APARTMENT?
NO. HE'S NOT AT HIS APARTMENT. HE'S NOT AT THE GYM.
HE'S NOT AT THE LIBRARY. HE'S GONE SOMEWHERE WHERE HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE FOUND.
SO, BASICALLY, HE'S GONE AWOL. BASICALLY EXACTLY.
POOR BUFFY. MAYBE HE JUST NEEDS SOME TIME ALONE.
LIKE, I HAD THIS FRIEND ONCE WHO REALLY LIKED THIS GIRL,
AND HE GOT ALL WORRIED THAT MAYBE SHE DIDN'T LIKE HIM BACK,
AND MAYBE THAT MADE HIM ACT LIKE A TOTAL JERK.
MAYBE RILEY REMINDS ME OF THAT FRIEND. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THEN AGAIN, MAYBE NOT. MAYBE HE JUST WANTS ATTENTION.
WELL, HERE'S A HOT TIP. IF YOU WANT ATTENTION, BE THERE SO PEOPLE CAN GIVE IT TO YOU.
I CARE ABOUT YOU, XANDER.
THANKS.
DON'T BE INSECURE. THANKS. I WON'T.
'CAUSE I ALSO HAVE THIS "FRIEND," AND I HAVE IT ON REALLY GOOD AUTHORITY...
THAT SHE REALLY LIKES THAT GUY, YOUR FRIEND, AND BY THE BY, MY FRIEND--
YOU GUYS, ENOUGH! OKAY, RILEY IS IN REAL DANGER HERE.
ANYA, XANDER, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS CHECK THE DOCKS?
AYE, AYE.
TARA AND I CAN SCOPE OUT THE BURNED-OUT SCHOOL. RILEY HID THERE ONCE.
MAYBE HE FEELS IT'S HOMEY OR SOMETHING.
HOMEY.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HE MIGHT FIND HOMEY IN A DANK, UNPLEASANT, EVIL SORT OF WAY?
THE INITIATIVE CAVES, BUT I DON'T KNOW THEM TOO WELL.
WE DO HAVE AN ASSOCIATE WHO KNOWS THOSE CAVES LIKE THE BACK OF HIS MELANIN-DEPRIVED HAND.
I SO DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH SPIKE RIGHT NOW.
THE GUY IS REALLY STARTING TO BUG ME IN THAT SPECIAL...
"I WANT TO SHOVE SOMETHING WOODEN THROUGH HIS HEART" KIND OF WAY.
HE DOES SEEM EXTRA TWITCHY LATELY.
MAYBE THE WHOLE "NOT KILLING" IS GETTIN' TO HIM.
PLUS, HANGING OUT ALL DAY IN THAT MOLDY CRYPT.
YOU JUST KNOW HE'S DOING SOMETHING NASTY.
OKAY. IS IT BIGGER THAN A BREAD BOX?
NO. FOUR LEFT. SO IT'S SMALLER THAN A BREAD BOX.
NO. ONLY THREE.
HARMONY, IS IT A SODDING BREAD BOX?
YES! OH, MY GOD. SOMEONE'S BLONDY BEAR...
IS A 20-QUESTION GENIUS. [ Pounding On Door ]
SHE'S FOUND ME.
I'VE GOT A PROPOSITION FOR YOU. FUNNY.
I'VE GOT A PROPOSITION FOR YOU-- WHAT ABOUT KNOCKING? SEEMS ONLY FAIR.
SINCE WE VAMPS CAN'T ENTER YOUR FLAT WITHOUT AN INVITE, YOU COULD AT LEAST--
SAY, LOOK AT THOSE PRETTY PIECES OF PAPER. RILEY'S SICK WITH SOME...
INITIATIVE THING, AND HE'S MISSING. HE MIGHT BE IN THE CAVES.
FIND HIM, BRING HIM TO THE FOURTH FLOOR OF THE HOSPITAL.
THEIR DOCTORS GET TO HIM IN TIME, YOU GET THE CASH.
OH, DEAR. IS THE ENORMOUS HALL MONITOR SICK?
TELL ME, IS HE GONNA DIE? HE IS NOT THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN DIE.
HEY, I'M JUST SAYIN', IF IT'S REALLY THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU,
I THINK I'LL GET HALF NOW.
[ Stone Scraping ]
[ Gasping ] SO? WHAT'D SHE SAY ABOUT ME?
[ Woman Over P.A., Indistinct ]
ANY WORD? THEY'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
THAT'S SOON ENOUGH, RIGHT? I MEAN, IF WE BRING HIM IN NOW?
I'LL BE HONEST. I'M NOT SURE IT'S SOON ENOUGH...
IF YOU BROUGHT HIM IN YESTERDAY.
[ Tapping On Door ] FINALLY.
YOU GOT YOURSELF A NEW PATIENT, DOC.
[ Insects Chirping ]
LOOK, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THIS IS A COMPLICATED NEUROLOGICAL PROCEDURE, AND I'VE NEVER PERFORMED IT BEFORE.
LITTLE PERFORMANCE ANXIETY, EH, DOC?
BUTTERFLIES IN THE OLD BELLY?
HARM, DO US A FAVOR.
SHOOT THE NASTY BUTTERFLIES FOR THE GOOD DOCTOR.
THERE YOU GO, DOC. IT'S NOT SO COMPLICATED.
JUST DO WHATEVER THOSE INITIATIVE LAB MONKEYS DID, ONLY BACKWARDS.
THIS IS A MEDICAL SCHOOL, NOT A PROPER OPERATING FACILITY.
AND THESE INSTRUMENTS--
[ Spike ] THEY LOOK POINTY ENOUGH. THEY'LL DO.
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. THAT CHIP IS DEEPLY EMBEDDED IN YOUR CEREBRAL CORTEX.
REMOVING IT COULD LEAVE YOU A VEGETABLE.
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, MATE. SEE, I HAVE FAITH IN YOUR SURVIVAL INSTINCT.
YEAH, YOU'LL HAVE ME UP AND KILLING BEFORE THE NIGHT'S OVER.
COME ON, DOC. YOU DO ME RIGHT, NOTHING BAD'LL HAPPEN TO YOU.
OOPS.
STRING WAS SLIPPY.
[ Willow ] RILEY!
THIS PLACE KIND OF CREEPS ME OUT.
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN HERE WHEN IT WAS A SCHOOL.
RILEY!
OOF. DARKNESS.
PILES OF IT. WE SHOULD'VE BROUGHT A FLASHLIGHT.
OOH, I KNOW. BETTER TO LIGHT A CANDLE THAN CURSE THE DAMN DARKNESS.
A LITTLE SPELL.
FIAT LUX.
WHOA. THERE. THAT'S BETTER.
RILEY, COME ON OUT.
HOW'D YOU DO THAT, WITH THE LIGHT?
OH, YOU KNOW. YOU TAUGHT ME.
I TAUGHT YOU TEENY TINKERBELL LIGHT.
OKAY, SO I TINKERED WITH THE TINKERBELL.
IT WAS EASY. AND BESIDES, ISN'T THIS BETTER...
THAN USING A FLASHLIGHT LIKE SOME KIND OF DOOFUS?
RILEY?
RILEY, ANSWER ME.
PLEASE.
RILEY?
YOU KNOW, THIS DOESN'T EVEN HURT. YOUR HAND IS BLEEDING.
DON'T FEEL A THING. THIS STOPS NOW. I'M TAKING YOU TO THE DOCTOR.
THE ONE FROM THE GOVERNMENT, YOU MEAN? LIKE THE ONES WHO DID THIS TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?
HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT UNDERSTANDS WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
I'M MORE POWERFUL THAN I'VE EVER BEEN, BUFFY. MOST PEOPLE WOULD KILL TO FEEL THIS WAY.
YEAH, AND THIS FEELING IS GOING TO KILL YOU.
RILEY, YOUR BODY WAS NOT BUILT FOR THIS KIND OF STRESS. I CAN HANDLE IT.
THIS IS MY DEAL, BUFFY. JUST... BACK OFF.
WHAT IS THIS? WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU?
I GO BACK, LET THE GOVERNMENT GET WHIMSICAL WITH MY INNARDS AGAIN.
THEY COULD DO ANYTHING THAT--
BEST-CASE SCENARIO-- THEY TURN ME INTO JOE NORMAL, JUST-- JUST ANOTHER GUY.
AND THAT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?
IT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU.
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? COME ON.
YOUR LAST BOYFRIEND WASN'T EXACTLY A CIVILIAN. SO THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?
YOU'RE GOING TO DIE OVER SOME MACHO PISSING CONTEST?
IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM. IT'S ABOUT US.
YOU'RE GETTING STRONGER EVERY DAY, MORE POWERFUL.
I CAN'T TOUCH YOU. EVERY DAY, YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE FURTHER OUT OF MY REACH.
YOU WANNA TOUCH ME? I'M RIGHT HERE.
I'M NOT THE ONE RUNNING AWAY. NOT YET.
SO YOU HAVE THIS ALL FIGURED OUT?
I'M BAILING BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE SUPER CLUB.
IT'S HUMAN NATURE. DON'T PSYCH 101 ME.
NOT NOW. NOT AFTER EVERYTHING THAT--
NOBODY HAS EVER KNOWN ME THE WAY YOU DO. NOBODY.
I HAVE OPENED UP TO YOU IN WAYS THAT I'VE NEVER OPENED UP TO--
GOD, YOU'RE JUST SITTING BACK THERE...
THINKING THAT NONE OF THIS MEANS ANYTHING TO ME.
I NEVER SAID THAT. BECAUSE IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU.
DO YOU THINK SO LITTLE OF ME-- BUFFY.
NO! NO.
DO YOU THINK THAT I SPENT THE LAST YEAR WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU HAD SUPER POWERS?
IF THAT'S WHAT I WANTED, THEN I'D BE DATING SPIKE.
RILEY, I NEED YOU.
I NEED YOU WITH ME, AND I NEED YOU HEALTHY.
BUT IF YOU WANNA THROW IT ALL AWAY BECAUSE YOU DON'T TRUST ME, THEN--
THEN I AM STILL GONNA MAKE YOU GO TO THAT DOCTOR.
TAKE ME TO HIM.
WE HAVE TO HURRY.
LOVING YOU IS THE SCARIEST THING I'VE EVER DONE, BUFFY.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
THE DOCTOR SAID WE DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
[ Squishing ]
I READ IN A MAGAZINE THAT SOME WOMEN THINK...
A MAN'S REAL SEX ORGAN IS HIS BRAIN.
YUCK. NO CONTEST. I MEAN, LOOK AT IT.
IT'S SO... PINK AND WRIGGLY LOOKING.
CAN I TOUCH IT? [ Both ] NO!
OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE AWAKE? LOCAL ANESTHETIC.
WOW, SPIKEY. HOW DOES IT FEEL?
LIKE SOMEONE'S CUTTING INTO MY BRAIN WITH A KNIFE, YOU SILLY BINT.
HMM. YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS...
THAT HE CAN'T HURT ANY LIVING THING?
IT MEANS HE CAN'T EVEN PICK FLOWERS. WHAT? YES, I CAN.
PLEASE BE QUIET.
MMM. IS IT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? PLEASE.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, PLEASE BE QUIET.
LISTEN, BUSTER, I DON'T SEE A CROSSBOW IN YOUR HANDS, OKAY?
HARMONY, IF YOUR INCESSANT PRATTLING BOLLIXES UP THIS OPERATION,
I'M GONNA PERSONALLY YANK OUT YOUR PINK AND WRIGGLY TONGUE.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
[ Woman Over P.A., Indistinct ]
UH-OH. GRAHAM? GRAHAM?
[ Grunting ]
HOW MANY FINGERS I GOT UP? SEVENTEEN.
[ Graham ] HOSTILE 17 AND A BLONDE GIRL.
SPIKE AND HARMONY TOGETHER AGAIN.
WHERE'S DR. OVERHEISER?
SPIKE MUST'VE TAKEN HIM.
WHAT WOULD SPIKE WANT WITH-- THE CHIP.
HE'S GONNA FORCE THE DOCTOR TO REMOVE THE CHIP FROM HIS BRAIN. [ Groans ]
RILEY? I'M OKAY. I'M OKAY.
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. IF WE DON'T FIND THE MEDIC SOON, HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT.
OKAY. OKAY. BRAIN SURGERY.
HE'S GONNA NEED A MEDICAL FACILITY. HE'S GONNA NEED EQUIPMENT.
IT'S A BIG HOSPITAL. NO. UH-UH. HE WOULDN'T DO IT HERE. IT'S TOO RISKY.
WE'LL SPLIT UP. GRAHAM, GET ON THE HORN OR THE PIPE OR WHATEVER YOU GUYS GET ON.
I WANT YOU TO CHECK ANIMAL HOSPITALS, DOCTORS' OFFICES.
HEY, ABOUT BEFORE-- [ Graham ] WE'RE GOOD.
APOLOGIZE LATER, IF YOU'RE NOT DEAD.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE.
BET YOU SAY THAT TO ALL THE BOYS. NO.
BUT THERE IS ONE PEROXIDED PEST WHOSE NUMBER'S UP.
WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON SPIKE, I'M GONNA RIP HIS HEAD OFF. I'M GONNA--
BATHE IN THE SLAYER'S BLOOD. I'M GONNA DIVE IN IT.
SWIM IN IT. I'M GONNA DO THE BLOODY BACKSTROKE.
I SEE IT, SPIKEY! I SEE THE CHIP.
T'S NESTLED IN THERE LIKE PRETTY LITTLE EASTER EGG, WITH OUR BRAIN ALL AROUND IT...
LIKE THAT GREEN, PLASTIC, GRASSY STUFF, ONLY THIS IS MORE OF A BEIGE--
WOULD YOU PLEASE PUT OUT THAT CIGARETTE? IT'S REALLY NOT ALLOWED.
OH, YEAH? SAYS WHO?
OH, GOD, SORRY. DIDN'T SEE THE SIGN.
THE CHIP'S OUT. I DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO IT.
IT JUST-- IT'S OUT.
YEAH? YEA!
YEA FOR SPIKEY! [ Spike ] RIGHT, THEN.
STITCH ME UP, DOC. GOT PLACES TO GO.
AND SLAYERS TO KILL.
LISTEN TO ME.
MY STOMACH'S GROWLING. I'M SO STARVED.
I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO HAVE ME A LITTLE SNACK.
OH, DON'T WORRY. I WON'T FILL UP ON THE BREAD.
I'LL STILL HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM FOR THE MAIN COURSE.
[ Door Opening ]
SLAYER!
[ Panting ]
SUIT UP, HARM.
STAY HERE. WE'RE GONNA NEED YOU. [ Spike ] BUFFY.
I SWEAR I WAS JUST THINKING OF YOU. I WANTED TO TELL YOU THE GREAT NEWS.
MY HEAD'S ALL CLEAR NOW.
NO MORE BUG-ZAPPER IN MY NOGGIN.
MEANS I GET TO KILL YOU. YOU GET TO TRY.
OOPS.
[ Growling ]
[ Shrieks ]
AT LONG LAST.
[ Grunts ]
[ Howls ]
[ Yelps ]
RILEY!
RILEY.
A PENNY. I TOLD YOU I COULDN'T DO IT.
OH, GOD. DOCTOR! DOCTOR, WE NEED YOU NOW! [ Spike Growls ]
[ Straining ]
BUFFY, BUFFY, BUFFY! EVERYWHERE I TURN, SHE'S THERE.
THAT NASTY LITTLE FACE, THAT FANCY SHAMPOO-COMMERCIAL HAIR.
THAT WHOLE SODDING HOLIER-THAN-THOU ATTITUDE. AREN'T WE UNHOLY BY DEFINITION?
SHE FOLLOWS ME, TRACKS ME DOWN. I'M HER PET PROJECT. DRIVE SPIKE ROUND THE BEND.
MAKES EVERY DAY A FRESH BOUT OF TORTURE.
SPIKE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I CAN'T GET RID OF HER. SHE'S EVERYWHERE. SHE'S HAUNTING ME, HARMONY.
THIS HAS GOT TO END.
ALL PATCHED UP.
HOW'S IT GOING IN THERE?
GOOD.
BACK TO NORMAL.
YEP.
AND SEE?
I'M STILL TOUCHABLE.
GIVE ME A WEEK OR SO TO HEAL, AND I'LL TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF THAT FACT.
ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY? 'CAUSE I SHOULD REALLY GO CHECK ON MY MOM.
YEAH. YEAH, GO AHEAD. I'LL BE FINE.
I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
IT'S A GOOD THING BUFFY FOUND YOU WHEN SHE DID,
'CAUSE YOU WERE ABOUT TO DETONATE BIG TIME.
ALWAYS SAID SHE'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.
YOU KNOW, SHE REALLY IS.
BUT YOU KNOW YOU DON'T BELONG HERE, RIGHT? THIS TOWN.
I MEAN, YOU'RE NOTHING HERE. HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? COME ON, MAN. YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.
THERE'S NOTHING FOR YOU HERE.
THERE'S HER. OKAY, RIGHT. THERE'S HER. AND?
YOU USED TO HAVE A MISSION, AND NOW YOU'RE WHAT, THE MISSION'S BOYFRIEND?
THE MISSION'S TRUE LOVE?
YOU BELONG WITH US.
[ Banging ]
SHOULD'VE KNOWN IT'S YOU. BEEN NEARLY SIX HOURS.
WOULD'VE BEEN LESS IF I WASN'T BUSY CLEANING UP YOUR MESS.
MY MESS? I JUST BORROWED THE DOC.
THE MESS IS YOURS, SLAYER. YOURS AND THE BOY'S.
I'M DONE. SPIKE, YOU'RE A KILLER.
AND I SHOULD'VE DONE THIS YEARS AGO.
YOU KNOW WHAT? DO IT.
BLOODY JUST DO IT. WHAT?
END MY TORMENT.
SEEING YOU EVERY DAY, EVERYWHERE I GO, EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND.
TAKE ME OUT OF A WORLD THAT HAS YOU IN IT.
JUST KILL ME.
[ Grunts ]
SPIKE, I WANT YOU.
BUFFY, I LOVE YOU. GOD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
[ Gasps ]
OH, GOD, NO.
PLEASE, NO.
[ Spike Sighs ]
GRR! ARRGH!