[ Man ] PREVIOUSLY ON BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.
[ Spike ] I CAN'T BITE ANYTHING. I CAN'T EVEN HIT PEOPLE.
[ Willow ] HOW'S WITH YOU AND RILEY?
EVERY TIME WE TALK, I HAVE TO LIE.
I WISH I COULD JUST COME CLEAN.
[ Forrest ] WELL, YOU CAN'T.
[ Riley ] I KNOW I CAN'T. BUT BUFFY'S SPECIAL.
I GUESS WE HAVE TO TALK.
I GUESS WE DO.
SOMEBODY SHOULD SPEAK BEFORE ONE OF US GRADUATES.
WHAT ARE YOU?
CAPRICORN. ON THE CUSP OF AQUARIUS. YOU?
SORRY. CAME OUT A LITTLE BLUNTER THAN I INTENDED.
IT'S JUST...
YOU'RE AMAZING... YOUR SPEED, YOUR STRENGTH--
ALSO PASSIONATE, ARTISTIC, AND INQUISITIVE.
WHO ARE YOU?
YOU KNOW WHO I AM.
THE REST...WHAT I DO...
I CAN'T TELL YOU.
WELL, THEN LET ME.
YOU'RE PART OF SOME MILITARY MONSTER SQUAD
THAT CAPTURES DEMONS, VAMPIRES.
PROBABLY HAVE SOME OFFICIAL-SOUNDING EUPHEMISMS FOR THEM
LIKE...UNFRIENDLIES OR NON-SAPIENS.
HOSTILE SUBTERRESTRIALS.
SO YOU DELIVER THESE...
HSTs TO A BUNCH OF LAB COATS
WHO PERFORM EXPERIMENTS ON THEM, WHICH, AMONG OTHER THINGS,
TURNS SOME INTO HARMLESS LITTLE BUNNIES.
HOW AM I DOING SO FAR?
A LITTLE TOO WELL.
MEANWHILE...BY DAY, YOU PRETEND TO BE RILEY FINN,
CORN-FED IOWA BOY.
EVER BEEN TO IOWA, RILEY?
GOD, IF THAT'S EVEN YOUR NAME.
IT IS. BORN AND RAISED.
AND, HEY, BULLETIN:
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S BEEN A LITTLE LESS THAN HONEST HERE.
I THOUGHT A PROFESSIONAL DEMON CHASER LIKE YOURSELF
WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW.
I'M THE SLAYER.
SLAY-ER.
CHOSEN ONE.
SHE WHO HANGS OUT A LOT IN CEMETERIES.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
ASK AROUND. LOOK IT UP:
SLAYER COMMA THE.
AND YOU FIGHT DEMONS?
I MEAN, YOU WAILED ON THOSE GUYS.
YOU DID PRETTY WELL YOURSELF.
YEAH, BUT I'M A WALKING BRUISE TODAY.
YOU SEE ME WITH MY CLOTHES OFF, I LOOK LIKE A--
I MEAN, I HAVE BRUISES...
I DON'T SEE A SCRATCH ON YOU.
YOU'RE NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH.
I'M LOOKIN' PRETTY HARD.
SO, THEN...
WHAT DO WE DO?
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST...
I REALLY THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE A NICE, NORMAL GUY.
I AM A NICE, NORMAL GUY.
MAYBE BY THIS TOWN'S STANDARDS,
BUT I'M NOT GRADING ON A CURVE.
I THINK WE BOTH NEED A LITTLE TIME TO... PROCESS EVERYTHING.
MAYBE THEN--
YEAH. YEAH, I THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
OH...I DON'T THINK I NEED TO TELL YOU...
I WON'T SAY A WORD.
GOOD.
IT'LL BE SAFER FOR ALL--
[ Squealing ]
OVER HERE.
WOW. THAT WAS SOME RIDE.
SORRY I'M...SO EXCITED.
IT'S MY FIRST EARTHQUAKE.
IT'S NOT MINE.
MY SODDEN SLEEPING CHAIR'S BLOODY...SODDEN!
THE QUAKE JUST KNOCKED A COUPLE OF PIPES LOOSE.
THERE'S A WRENCH HANGING UP OVER THERE BY THE WORKBENCH.
TRY TIGHTENING THE COUPLING.
I LOOK LIKE A PLUMBER TO YOU?
NO. YOU LOOK LIKE A BIG MOOCH WHO DOESN'T LIFT A FINGER AROUND HERE.
BUT I HAVE TO GET TO WORK.
YEAH. DELIVERING MELTED CHEESE ON BREAD.
DOING YOUR PART TO KEEP AMERICA CONSTIPATED.
MOCK NOT. REMEMBER WHO PAYS FOR THE PLASMA AROUND HERE, PAL.
YOU EARN YOUR KEEP, OR YOU DON'T GET KEPT.
WHEN YOU'RE DONE FIXING THAT LEAK,
TRY CLEANING UP THIS MESS.
AND DOING A LITTLE LAUNDRY FOR ONCE WOULDN'T KILL YOU.
UNFORTUNATELY.
HEY. I WAS IN THE LIBRARY DURING THE QUAKE.
ALMOST GOT BURIED IN SOME 19th-CENTURY LITERATURE.
AND I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU
HOW HARD IT IS TO DIG THROUGH SOME OF THAT STUFF.
YOU OKAY?
YEAH. UH, A COUPLE OF BROKEN KNICKKNACKS,
BUT NO BIGGIES.
WELL, PORTER DORM IS COMPLETELY BLACKED OUT,
SO NATURALLY THEY'RE DEALING WITH THE CRISIS THE ONLY WAY THEY KNOW HOW:
"AFTERSHOCK PARTY."
AH, THIS FROM THE DORM THAT BROUGHT US
THE "SOMEBODY SNEEZED PARTY" AND THE "DAY THAT ENDS IN "Y" PARTY."
THEY DO SEEM TO BE PRETTY GENEROUS WITH THE MILESTONES.
YOU SHOULD ASK RILEY TO COME.
MUCH CAROUSING BY FLATTERING CANDLELIGHT.
UH...RILEY'S, UM... BUSY, I'M PRETTY SURE.
BUT YOU KNOW, YOU GO ON AHEAD,
AND I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU THERE.
I'M ON MY WAY FOR A LITTLE GILES ONE-ON-ONE.
ANYTHING WRONG?
WRONG? NO. MM-MMM.
NOT AT ALL.
SOMETHING HORRIBLE'S GOING TO HAPPEN, GILES.
IT WAS AN EARTHQUAKE, BUFFY.
A NOT UNCOMMON OCCURRENCE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
NO REASON TO THINK IT WAS ANYTHING MORE.
OH, I SO HAVE A REASON. A DARN GOOD REASON.
THE LAST TIME WE HAD AN EARTHQUAKE, I DIED.
YES, I KNOW THAT, AND THEREFORE, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND YOUR ANXIETY.
OH, GOOD.
'CAUSE I'D HATE FOR MY LITTLE UNTIMELY, HORRIBLE DEATH CONCERN TO BE AMBIGUOUS.
BUT UNLESS EVIDENCE SUGGESTS OTHERWISE,
I THINK WE CAN ASSUME THAT IT'S SHIFTING LAND MASSES
AND NOT A PORTENT OF SOME IMMINENT DOOM.
IN THE MEANTIME, I'VE GOT A FEW THEORIES
ABOUT OUR MYSTERIOUS COMMANDO FRIENDS.
OH. REALLY?
YES. NOW, BASED ON THE LOCATIONS OF OUR VARIOUS SIGHTINGS
AND SPIKE'S RELUCTANT DESCRIPTION
OF THEIR UNDERGROUND INSTALLATION--
WHAT IF THE QUAKE WAS A SIGN--A BAD OMEN-- AND WE JUST IGNORE IT?
THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF RED FACES WHEN THE WORLD COMES TO AN END.
BUFFY, IF THE QUAKE HERALDED SOME SUCH CATASTROPHE,
THEN I AM SURE THERE WILL BE OTHER SIGNS TO FOLLOW,
WHICH WILL AFFORD US PLENTY OF TIME TO AVERT IT.
NOW, I BELIEVE THE COMMANDO INSTALLATION
IS EITHER VERY CLOSE TO OR DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH YOUR SCHOOL.
NOW, IF THAT IS THE CASE, I'M CONVINCED THAT ONE OR MORE OF THEM
MAY BE IN YOUR VERY MIDST.
PLAGUE! WHAT?
WHAT IF THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING IN THE FORM OF A PLAGUE?
THEN TOO MANY PEOPLE MAY BECOME INFECTED BY THE TIME WE--
BUFFY, WILL YOU STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT MAY BE
AND CONCENTRATE ON WHAT IS?
VIGILANCE IS ALL VERY WELL AND GOOD,
BUT AS I FEEL WE'RE GETTING CLOSE,
THERE IS A MUCH MORE PRESSING QUESTION.
WHAT'S A SLAYER?
SLAYER? A THRASH BAND.
ANVIL-HEAVY GUITAR ROCK WITH DELUSIONS OF BLACK SABBATH.
NO. A GIRL. WITH POWERS.
OH. THE SLAYER.
OH, YEAH. I'VE HEARD OF THE SLAYER.
FILL ME IN.
WELL, THE WAY I GOT IT FIGURED,
SLAYER'S LIKE SOME KIND OF BOGEYMAN FOR THE SUBTERRESTRIALS--
SOMETHING THEY TELL THEIR LITTLE SPAWN
TO MAKE THEM EAT THEIR VEGETABLES AND CLEAN UP THEIR SLIME PITS.
YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE DOESN'T EXIST.
OH, WAIT A SEC. AM I BURSTING SOMEBODY'S BUBBLE HERE?
MAYBE THIS IS A BAD TIME TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE EASTER BUNNY.
[ Laughing ]
SORRY. SORRY. IT'S A MYTH, RYE.
ALL PART OF THAT MEDIEVAL FOLKLORE GARBAGE
KOOKS DREAM UP TO EXPLAIN THINGS WE DEAL WITH EVERY DAY.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE THINGS WE DEAL WITH, FORREST?
THEY'RE JUST ANIMALS, MAN. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
GRANTED, A LITTLE RARER THAN THE ONES YOU GREW UP WITH
ON THAT LITTLE FARM IN SMALLVILLE, BUT--
[ Demon Roars ]
[ Woman On P.A. ] ATTENTION, ALL PERSONNEL. SECURITY BREACH.
WHERE'S THAT HYPO?
NEVER MIND.
LIKE I SAID...
ANIMALS.
[ Banging ]
WHAT'S THAT RACKET?
THE ANIMALS RATTLING IN THEIR CAGES.
DOING IT ALL DAY.
WONDER WHAT'S GOT THEM ALL WORKED UP?
EARTHQUAKES, MAN.
THEY MAKE EVERYBODY CRAZY.
[ Rock Music Playing ]
♪ YOU SAY YOU WANNA HELP ME OUT ♪
♪ BUT YOU'RE DISCOVERING EVERY DOUBT ♪
♪ YEAH, I GOT MY OWN REALITY ♪
♪ IT SURE AIN'T VIRTUAL ♪
♪ IT'S MY HIGHWAY I CHOOSE ♪
♪ BUT, HEY, I CONTROL THE CRUISE ♪
PERCY! HI!
HEY, WILLOW. WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
STUFF.
I THOUGHT YOU GOT THAT FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP TO USC.
I DID. LAURIE GOES HERE.
HEY.
HI.
SOME PARTY, HUH?
IT'S OKAY.
HOW'S OZ?
OH. ACTUALLY, OZ...
UM, LISTEN...
WE'RE GONNA GO GET SOME DRINKS.
COOL TO SEE YOU.
BYE.
YEAH, CATCH YOU LATER.
HEY, YOU GUYS SERIOUS ABOUT NAKED LIMBO?
I'M IN!
BUFFY, WHERE ARE YOU?
[ Laurie ] WHY? SO I CAN WATCH YOU FLIRT WITH THAT REDHEAD?
[ Percy ] WHAT, ROSENBERG? YEAH, RIGHT.
SHE'S JUST SOME EGGHEAD WHO TUTORED ME A LITTLE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I MEAN, SHE'S NICE, BUT COME ON. CAPTAIN OF THE NERD SQUAD.
[ Laurie ] WELL, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE YOU HAVE A THING FOR GEEKS.
UH, NO. I LIKE MY WOMEN HOT.
CALL ME OLD-FASHIONED.
HELLO?
ANYONE IN HERE?
AAH!
OH, NO! SPIKE, THE PLACE LOOKS WORSE THAN WHEN I LEFT.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN FIX THE DRIP.
[ Spike ] DON'T TURN AROUND.
SPIKE, WHAT IS IT? WHAT HAPPENED?
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I SHRUNK THEM.
BLEEDING SHIRT, TROUSERS. I HATE THIS PLACE.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT ANY HAPPIER ABOUT YOU WEARING MY STUFF THAN YOU ARE.
GO OUT. GET ME SOME DECENT STUFF, AND I WANT MORE BLOOD.
NO. YOU'RE NOT A GUEST.
YOU WANT ME TO TEAR THIS PLACE APART
YOU BLOODY POOF?
THAT'S IT! I AM WAY PAST THROUGH WITH YOU.
I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, O IMPOTENT ONE,
BUT YOU'RE NOT THE "BIG BAD" ANYMORE.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE "KIND OF NAUGHTY."
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A WASTE OF SPACE-- MY SPACE.
AND AS MUCH AS I ALWAYS GOT A BIG LAUGH
WATCHING BUFFY KICK YOUR SHINY WHITE BUM,
AND AS MUCH AS I KNOW I COULD GIVE YOU
A LITTLE BUM-KICKING MYSELF RIGHT NOW,
I'M HERE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN WORTH IT.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
BUFFY.
OVER HERE.
WOW. I WASN'T SURE WHERE THE PARTY WAS, AND...
THEN I SAW THE FLASHING LIGHTS AND THE AMBULANCE,
AND I WAS, LIKE, "RIGHT, OF COURSE. DEATH, CARNAGE--
IT'S A BUFFY PARTY."
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I FOUND HIM--THIS GUY ON THE BED WITH ME, DEAD.
NOT ME DEAD, HE DEAD.
GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?
[ Whispering ] Vampire?
SO MUCH BLOOD...
AND THERE-- THERE WAS A SYMBOL,
AND PERCY SAID I WAS A NERD.
PERCY CALLED YOU A NERD?
I GUESS WE SHOULD REPORT TO GILES,
GET WITH THE DEMON-TRACKING.
DOES PERCY EVEN GO HERE?
OKAY. THAT'S MAKES 0-FOR-A-BILLION.
YOU DON'T GOT GAME, SON.
WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT HEAD OF YOURS?
I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE UP MY MIND ABOUT SOMETHING.
BUFFY--SHE'S PRETTY COOL, ISN'T SHE?
YES, ALREADY. SHE'S COOL. SHE'S HOT.
SHE'S TEPID. SHE'S ALL-TEMPERATURE BUFFY.
NOW, CAN WE CONCENTRATE ON THE GAME HERE?
GOOD BLOCK. YOU SHOULD USE YOUR FACE MORE OFTEN.
WE HAVE AN ALPHA CODE-BLUE SITUATION.
ONE OF OURS?
NEGATIVE. CIVILIAN AT THE PORTER HALL PARTY.
HST ATTACK?
CANNOT CONFIRM THAT.
I COULDN'T GET CLOSE WITHOUT DRAWING ATTENTION TO MYSELF.
SHOULD WE MOBILIZE?
NO. I'LL GO, DO A LITTLE RECON,
SEE IF IT FALLS IN OUR DOMAIN.
YOU ALERT PROFESSOR WALSH. TELL HER WE HAVE A CASUALTY OF AN INDETERMINATE NATURE.
LET'S NOT MAKE A MOVE UNTIL WE GET THE WHOLE STORY.
IT JUST MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS RIGHT BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
DUMB JOCK. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, HE STILL WOULD BE.
YEAH. I MEAN, I KNOW THE PERCY THING ISN'T REALLY IMPORTANT.
IT'S THE DEAD GUY ON THE BED.
YEAH. THAT'S BAD, TOO.
OOH, AND SOMETHING ELSE.
HE, THE DEAD GUY, WAS--WAS PROPPED UP,
LIKE WHATEVER KILLED HIM WANTED TO DRAIN THE BLOOD OUT OF HIM.
SO I'M THINKING, THE WHATEVER TOOK A BUNCH OF THE GUY'S BLOOD WITH HIM.
AND I HAVEN'T BEEN A NERD FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
HELLO. DATING A GUITARIST.
OR I WAS.
TELL THEM ABOUT THE SYMBOL.
RIGHT. UM, IT WAS CARVED INTO HIS CHEST
LIKE A BIG, CREEPY EYE.
[ Xander ] IT'S KIND OF THE CBS LOGO.
HEY, COULD THIS BE THE HANDIWORK OF ONE MR. MORLEY SAFER?
I'M TELLING YOU, I'VE SEEN THIS SOMEWHERE BEFORE.
I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE. I MEAN, IT'S LIKE...
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.
[ All 3 ] AGAIN?
UH, THE EARTHQUAKE-- THAT SYMBOL, YES.
I TOLD YOU. I SAID END OF THE WORLD,
AND YOU'RE LIKE, "POOH-POOH, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, POOH-POOH."
I'M SO VERY SORRY.
MY CONTRITION COMPLETELY DWARFS THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE.
NO. I-IT CAN'T BE.
WE-WE'VE DONE THIS ALREADY.
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD. EVERYONE DIES.
IT'S RATHER IMPORTANT, REALLY.
SO WHAT DO WE DO?
I STOP IT.
I WONDER WHERE I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE.
WHERE ELSE? THE PLACE I SPEND MOST OF MY WAKING HOURS
MEMORIZING STUFF OFF THE SIDES OF MAUSOLEUMS.
BIG, FREAKY CEREAL BOXES OF DEATH.
[ Stone Scraping ]
DOOR WAS OPEN.
[ Creature Groans ]
ARGH.
[ Breathes Heavily ]
WOW, THAT FLIPPY-THING THAT YOU DID--
WHERE DID IT GO?
IT'S GONE. I SAW IT TAKE OFF TOWARD THE WOODS.
AND YOU DIDN'T FOLLOW IT?
NO WEAPONS, NO BACKUP.
YOU DON'T GO AFTER A DEMON THAT SIZE BY YOURSELF.
I DO.
YEAH, WELL, I'M NO SLAYER.
BASE ONE, THIS IS LILAC ONE.
LILAC?
CONFIRMED SIGHTING OF AN UNIDENTIFIED SUB-T.
MOBILIZE PATROL TEAM FOR DEBRIEFING AT 0800 HOURS.
[ Radio ] COPY THAT.
VERY COMMANDERY.
LILAC NOTWITHSTANDING.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
LOOKING FOR YOU,
SHE WHO HANGS OUT IN CEMETERIES.
WELL, I HAVE TO GET THE DEMON.
DON'T SWEAT IT. WE'LL BAG IT.
IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
YEAH, BUT...
LOOK, I REALLY THINK--
RILEY, I JUST...
I CAN'T.
CAN'T TALK?
CAN'T ANY OF IT.
I CAN'T BE WITH YOU.
IT'S A HUGE BLACK PIT OF A MISTAKE,
AND I CAN'T GO THERE AGAIN.
AGAIN? YOU DATED ME BEFORE?
NO. LOOK, I WAS INVOLVED...
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MY LIFE IS LIKE.
AND I'M DYING TO FIND OUT.
DYING BEING THE OPERATIVE WORD HERE.
OKAY, THERE'S TOO MUCH RISK.
THERE'S TOO MUCH...
IT'S JUST DOOMED,
AND I CAN'T DO DOOMED AGAIN RIGHT NOW. SORRY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE THIS IS COMING FROM.
I KNOW YOU LIKE ME.
AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON.
BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.
BUFFY, I'M THROWN BY THIS.
I'M CONFUSED...
BUT I CAN FEEL MY SKIN HUMMING,
MY HANDS, MY EVERY INCH OF ME.
I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS EXCITED ABOUT ANYBODY BEFORE.
I'M NOT TRYING TO SCARE YOU, AND I'M NOT GONNA FORCE MYSELF ON YOU,
BUT I AM, BY GOD, NOT GONNA WALK AWAY BECAUSE I THINK IT MIGHT NOT WORK.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENED IN YOUR PAST.
PAIN, DEATH, APOCALYPSE.
NONE OF IT FUN.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT A HELLMOUTH IS?
DO YOU HAVE A FANCY TERM FOR IT?
BECAUSE I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL ON IT
FOR 3 YEARS.
WE DO NOT HAVE THAT MUCH IN COMMON.
THIS IS A JOB TO YOU.
IT'S NOT JUST A JOB.
IT'S AN ADVENTURE, GREAT.
BUT FOR ME, IT'S DESTINY.
IT IS SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T CHANGE,
SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T ESCAPE. I'M STUCK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE.
YOU'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE.
YOU CAN CHANGE THINGS.
RILEY, NO.
I KNOW IT MAY SEEM--
RILEY...
MY ANSWER IS NO.
A VAHRALL DEMON.
EWWW.
I SECOND THAT REVULSION.
YES. "SLICK LIKE GOLD AND GIRD IN MOONLIGHT,
FATHER OF PORTENTS AND BROTHER TO BLIGHT."
"LIMBS WITH TALONS, EYES LIKE KNIVES;
BANE TO THE BLAMELESS, THIEF OF LIVES."
3 METERS TALL,
APPROXIMATELY 100-120 KILOGRAMS,
BASED ON MY VISUAL ANALYSIS.
SPECIAL HAZARDS?
UNKNOWN.
PROBABLY NOTHING WE HAVEN'T HANDLED BEFORE.
THERE'S NO PATTERN THAT WE CAN DISCERN YET,
SO WE GOTTA ASSUME IT'S ON A BASIC KILL-CRUSH-DESTROY.
THE THING ISN'T DIGGING UP THE BONES OF A CHILD FOR FUN.
WELL, A DEMON'S GOT SOME PRETTY HILARIOUS IDEAS ABOUT FUN.
THE BONES OF A CHILD, THOUGH.
I SAW THAT.
AN ANCIENT RITUAL--
IT USES THE BLOOD OF A MAN, THE BONES OF A CHILD,
AND SOMETHING CALLED THE WORD OF VALIOS.
IT'S ALL PART OF A SACRIFICE--
THE SACRIFICE OF 3.
LET ME GUESS. ENDS THE WORLD.
WELL, YEAH. IT'S NOT BIG WITH THE DETAILS, THOUGH.
IT DOESN'T SAY HOW THE WORLD ENDS
OR WHAT THE RITUAL ENTAILS EXACTLY.
A SACRIFICE OF 3.
3 PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE?
NO, THEY WON'T,
BECAUSE CLAW BOY'S NOT GETTING ALL OF HIS INGREDIENTS.
WE HAVE TO FIND THAT THIRD ONE, THE WORD OF VALIOS.
KEEP HIM FROM GETTING IT.
IF HE DOESN'T ALREADY HAVE IT.
I MEAN, WHO KNOWS WHERE HE'S BEEN?
HERE'S ONE FOR THE GOOD GUYS.
THIS THING'S GOT A PHEROMONE SIGNATURE A MILE WIDE.
AGENT GATES HAS BEEN WORKING WITH THE DETECTION SYSTEM THE LAB'S DEVELOPING.
CAN'T TELL WHERE IT'S GOING,
BUT I'VE GOT A BEAD ON WHERE IT'S BEEN.
RESIDUAL TRACES SHOWING UP IN POPULATED AREAS.
THING'S NOT SHY.
WE'RE GOING OUT IN CIVVIES-- DAY CLOTHES ONLY, GUYS.
WEAPONS STOWED IN PACKS.
KEEP 'EM OUT OF SIGHT TILL NIGHTFALL.
REMEMBER-- THIS ISN'T A CAPTURE.
IT'S A KILL.
PICK UP QUADRANT ASSIGNMENTS FROM ME.
WE'LL BLANKET THE TOWN.
I'LL CHECK THE MAGIC SHOP,
SEE IF THEY'VE HEARD OF A BOOK CALLED THE WORD OF VALIOS.
WIL, XANDER, HOW ABOUT THE BOOK ARCHIVES AT THE MUSEUM?
WE'LL STOP BY MY HOUSE ON THE WAY, GET SOME WEAPONS,
AND I'LL CHANGE INTO SOMETHING
THAT ISN'T QUITE AS ANCHOVY-SCENTED.
YOU GUYS, THIS THING TAKES WICKED VERY SERIOUSLY.
BE CAREFUL.
I COULDN'T STAND ANYBODY GETTING HURT.
GOOD-BYE, DRU.
SEE YOU IN HELL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
BLOODY ROT! CAN'T A PERSON KNOCK?
[ Willow ] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU WERE TRYING TO STAKE YOURSELF.
FAG OFF. IT'S NO CONCERN OF YOURS.
IS TOO. FOR ONE THING,
THAT'S MY SHIRT YOU'RE ABOUT TO DUST.
AND FOR ANOTHER, WE'VE SHARED A LOT HERE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED ME ENOUGH TO DO IT FOR YOU.
XANDER.
WHAT? HE WANTS TO DIE. I WANT TO HELP.
[ Willow ] IT'S OOKY. WE KNOW HIM.
WE CAN'T JUST LET HIM POOF HIMSELF.
OH, BUT YOU CAN.
YOU KNOW I'D DRAIN YOU DRIER THAN THE SAHARA
IF I HAD HALF A CHANCE.
AND BESIDES, I'M BEYOND PATHETIC.
STUCK IN THIS BASEMENT,
WASHING SKIVVIES FOR A BLIGHTER
I WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED TO BITE A FEW MONTHS AGO.
HEY.
I MEAN, AM I EVEN REMOTELY SCARY ANYMORE?
TELL ME THE TRUTH.
WELL, THE SHIRT IS KINDA...
NOT VERY THREATENING...
AND THE SHORT PANTS.
IT COULD ALSO BE
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU CAN'T BITE.
STOP. LOOK, JUST CLEAR OUT.
FINE.
BUT YOU BREAK ANYTHING ELSE WHILE WE'RE GONE,
AND YOU'LL BE SLEEPING IN THE GARAGE, BUSTER.
WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM HERE LIKE THIS.
WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE HIM WITH US TO THE MUSEUM.
OH, YOU GO ON.
I WON'T DO ANYTHING.
I FEEL BETTER NOW. PROMISE.
THINK OF THE HAPPY.
IF WE DON'T FIND WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR,
WE'RE FACING AN APOCALYPSE.
REALLY? YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING THAT?
BUFFY.
IS THIS REALLY THE TIME FOR DONKEY KONG?
WHAT?
OH.
IT TAKES TRACE READINGS OF THE CREATURE'S PHEROMONES.
AND?
AND IT'S EITHER MATING SEASON FOR THIS THING,
OR IT'S MOVING ALL OVER TOWN.
YOU KNOW, BUFFY-- ACTUALLY, I NEED TO GO.
BIG BAD NEEDS TO BE SQUISHED.
RIGHT. I'M ON IT, TOO.
IT'S JUST--
THIS THING, THIS YOU-AND-ME THING,
IT'S STUPID.
I KNOW. WHICH IS WHY WE CAN'T DO IT,
THE YOU-AND-ME THING.
NO. I MEAN, YOU'RE STUPID.
I MEAN... I DON'T MEAN THAT.
NO. I THINK MAYBE I DO.
WOW. WITH SWEET TALK LIKE THAT,
YOU'LL DEFINITELY MELT MY RESERVATIONS.
I'M SERIOUS.
YOU HAVE THIS TWISTED WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS,
THIS DOOM-AND-GLOOM MENTALITY.
YOU KEEP THINKING LIKE THAT,
AND THINGS ARE PROBABLY GONNA TURN OUT
JUST THE WAY YOU EXPECT.
THERE'S NOTHING MORE DANGEROUS
THAN A PSYCH GRAD STUDENT.
BUFFY, WHERE IS THE BAD HERE?
IT JUST TURNS OUT THAT WE'RE EVEN MORE WELL MATCHED
THAN WE THOUGHT WE WERE.
I MEAN, YOU'RE A--
FRY COOK, AND SO AM I.
YES, BUT YOU'RE AN AMATEUR...
FRY COOK.
AND I COME FROM A LONG LINE OF FRY COOKS
THAT DON'T LIVE PAST 25.
WHICH IS EXACTLY THE ATTITUDE I'M TALKING ABOUT.
I KNOW THE RISKS OF WHAT WE DO.
I ALSO KNOW IT'S MORE REWARDING
THAN ANY OTHER JOB ON THE PLANET... AND FUN.
FUN?
THE LAST PERSON I KNOW THAT BELIEVED THAT
IS IN A COMA RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE SHE HAD SO MUCH FUN ON THE JOB.
I'M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE YOUR WORK SERIOUSLY.
THAT I SHOULD JUST TURN MY FROWN UPSIDE DOWN?
IS THAT IT?
I WISH I COULD,
BUT THIS ISN'T THE KIND OF GIG
WHERE YOU CAN JUST HANG IT UP AT THE END OF THE NIGHT
AND SNUGGLE WITH YOUR HONEY.
BUT WHY? WHY CAN'T IT BE?
BECAUSE I TRIED IT, OKAY?
AND EVERY TIME, IT JUST FELL APART.
AND THEN I GET SUCKED RIGHT BACK INTO THE UBER EVIL.
WELCOME TO THE STORY OF THE WORLD.
THINGS FALL APART, BUFFY. AND EVIL--IT COMES AND GOES.
BUT THE WAY PEOPLE MANAGE IS,
THEY DON'T DO IT ALONE. THEY PULL EACH OTHER THROUGH.
IF YOU WEREN'T SO SELF-INVOLVED, YOU'D SEE THAT.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU BARELY KNOW ME.
I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT JUST THE JOB THING.
I'M SURE THAT THERE'S SOME GOOD-LOOKING GUY
WHO DONE YOU WRONG IN THERE, TOO.
BUT MOSTLY, I THINK YOU WANT TO STAY DOWN IN THE DARK PLACE.
'CAUSE MAYBE IT'S SAFER DOWN THERE.
YOU ARE SO OUT OF LINE.
NO. SEE, I DON'T THINK SO.
WE HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY HERE, YOU AND ME.
AND THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO EVEN GIVE IT A TRY...
IS MY BUSINESS.
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?
FAIR ENOUGH.
GREAT. NO WORD OF VALIOS.
NOT EVEN A SYLLABLE OF VALIOS.
WHICH MEANS I'M ONE STEP CLOSER
TO MELTING IN A SEA OF MOLTEN HELL FIRE, YEAH?
YOU SHOULDN'T TALK LIKE THAT.
YEAH, OKAY, SO YOU CAN'T KILL ANYMORE,
BUT THERE ARE OTHER FUN THINGS YOU CAN DO.
YOU'LL ADJUST.
"ADJUST."
AND WHAT, END UP LIKE THE TWO OF YOU?
NO, THANK YOU. HERE IT GOES.
"WE JUST CAN'T LEAVE HIM HERE TO STAKE HIMSELF.
IT'S NOT RIGHT."
I SHOULD THINK YOU WOULD BE GLAD
TO GREET THE END OF DAYS.
NEITHER ONE OF YOU IS MAKING MUCH OF A GO AT IT.
YOU. KIDS YOUR AGE ARE GOING OFF TO UNIVERSITY.
YOU'VE MADE IT AS FAR AS THE BASEMENT.
AND RED HERE,
YOU COULDN'T EVEN KEEP DOG BOY HAPPY.
YOU CAN TAKE THE LOSER OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL, BUT...
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. YOU'RE TRYING TO GET US TO DUST YOU.
AM NOT. I JUST DON'T WANT PITY FROM GEEKS
MORE USELESS THAN I AM.
WE'RE NOT USELESS. WE--WE HELP PEOPLE.
WE FIGHT THE FORCES OF EVIL.
BUFFY FIGHTS THE FORCES OF EVIL.
YOU'RE HER GROUPIES.
SHE'D DO JUST AS WELL WITHOUT YOU.
BETTER, I'D WAGER,
SINCE SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO ABOUT
SAVING YOUR HIDES ALL THE TIME.
THAT IS SO NOT TRUE.
WE'RE PART OF THE TEAM. SHE NEEDS US.
OR...YOU'RE JUST THE SAME TENTH-GRADE LOSERS
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN,
AND SHE'S TOO MUCH OF A SOFTY TO CUT YOU LOOSE.
OH, AS USUAL.
DEAR.
WHAT HAPPENED?
IT'S MY FAULT.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
GILES...
THE WORD OF VALIOS... IS THE NAME OF A TALISMAN,
NOT A BOOK.
I BLAME MYSELF ENTIRELY. I HAD IT HERE.
YOU HAD IT HERE?
OKAY, FIRST I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING TOO HARD ON YOURSELF, BUT--
THANK YOU.
I BOUGHT IT AT A SORCERER'S ESTATE SALE.
I REALLY ONLY GLANCED AT IT ONCE.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A KNOCKOFF.
WELL, THEY HAVE IT,
AND THEY PROBABLY HAVE THEIR SACRIFICES BY NOW, TOO.
THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY TO PERFORM THE SACRIFICE NOW.
ON THEIR WAY WHERE?
YOU FOUND OUT WHAT THE RITUAL IS FOR?
THE HELLMOUTH.
THEY'RE GONNA OPEN THE HELLMOUTH... THE ONE IN THE LIBRARY.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL.
BE CAREFUL, YOU GUYS.
THE PLACE DOESN'T LOOK TOO STABLE.
FINE BY ME.
I HOPE WE ALL GO UNDER.
WHY IS HE EVEN HERE?
IT'S NOT LIKE HE CAN FIGHT.
IF WE LEAVE HIM ALONE, HE'LL STAKE HIMSELF.
AND THAT'S BAD BECAUSE...
FINE. WHATEVER.
JUST KEEP HIM OUT OF THE WAY.
I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
OKAY, WHEN WE GET TO THE LIBRARY,
KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR VICTIMS
THEY'RE KEEPING ALIVE FOR THE SACRIFICE.
GETTING THEM OUT IS THE FIRST PRIORITY.
WILL DO.
OKAY...YOU GUYS READY?
LET'S ROCK 'N' ROLL.
"LET'S ROCK 'N' ROLL."
SUNNYDALE HIGH.
IF THESE WALLS... WERE STILL WALLS,
WHAT STORIES THEY COULD TELL.
EWW.
MAYOR MEAT-- EXTRA CRISPY.
I THINK WE'RE NEAR THE LIBRARY.
[ Chanting ]
WHOA. CHECK OUT THE NEW FLOOR PLAN.
THREE OF THEM.
I DON'T SEE ANY SACRIFICE PEOPLE.
THEY MUST BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
RITUAL'S NOT FINISHED.
AND IT'S NOT GONNA BE.
THE BLOOD!
GET THE TALISMAN! THEY CAN'T DO THE RITUAL.
I'VE GOT THE BONES!
HERE!
YOU'RE PICKING ON THE WRONG GUY, DUDE!
I HAD A LOT OF PRACTICE WITH MY LUNCH MONEY.
SPIKE!
RIGHT. PERFECT.
OKAY, I GUESS I WON.
[ Rumbling ]
THE DEMONS--THEY ARE THE SACRIFICE!
AAAHHH!
NO PAIN.
I CAN HURT A DEMON.
THAT'S RIGHT!
I'M BACK, AND I'M A BLOODY ANIMAL!
YEAH!
NO! SPIKE! NOT IN THE HOLE!
[ Rumbling ]
WHAT? I WAS HELPING.
GET OUT OF HERE!
THE BUILDING'S GONNA COME DOWN!
DON'T LET HIM JUMP IN THE HELLMOUTH!
IF HE DOES, WE'RE FINISHED.
I'M GOING IN.
YOU'RE COMING BACK OUT.
BUFFY.
WELL, HEY! WILLOW. AND XANDER, RIGHT?
JEEZ, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES, HUH?
YEAH, I WAS JUST PASSING BY,
AND I THOUGHT I HEARD PEOPLE INSIDE.
YOU WERE JUST PASSING BY IN YOUR G.I. JOE OUTFIT?
NO OFFENSE, BUT YOU DO LOOK WICKED CONSPICUOUS.
I DO? BUT IT'S...
PAINT BALL.
YEAH. I WAS PLAYING PAINT BALL,
AND THEN THE AFTERSHOCK, AND I CAME--
SO YOU'RE ONE OF THE COMMANDO GUYS, HUH?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. COMMANDO? NO.
I MEAN... DON'T I KNOW YOU?
[ American Accent ] ME? NO. NO, SIR.
I'M JUST AN OLD PAL OF XANDER'S HERE.
OH, THAT'S NICE.
IT'S KINDA WEIRD BEING BACK, ISN'T IT?
YEAH. EVERYTHING SEEMS SO SMALL...
AND MORE CHARRED AND RUINY.
[ Knock On Door ]
COME IN.
YOU NEVER CALLED, SO I DIDN'T KNOW...
OH. HEY... I'M SORRY.
I'M JUST... I'M A DEAD MAN.
SECRET. HIGHLY.
OR IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.
AND THEN YOU FIND OUT.
I CAN DEAL. YOU'RE SPECIAL.
BUT LAST NIGHT WITH YOUR FRIENDS WAS A DISASTER.
COULD I HAVE BEEN LESS CONVINCING?
I WAS TRAINED TO BE SNEAKY AND STUFF,
AND I'M, LIKE...
"HI. PAINT BALL, JUST PASSING BY."
I SHOULD HAVE JUST GIVEN THEM MY SECURITY CODE AND RANK.
YOU HAVE A SECURITY CODE AND RANK?
NO.
DID I JUST SAY...
THIS IS SO NOT GOOD.
EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT ME.
I'M FINISHED.
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.
NO, IT'S NOT.
WHAT'S THIS?
SITTING AROUND AND WATCHING THE TELLY
WHILE THERE'S EVIL STILL AFOOT.
IT'S NOT VERY INDUSTRIOUS OF YOU.
I SAY WE GO OUT THERE AND KICK A LITTLE DEMON ASS.
CAN'T GO WITHOUT YOUR BUFFY, IS THAT IT?
TOO CHICKEN?
LET'S FIND HER.
SHE IS THE CHOSEN ONE, AFTER ALL.
COME ON! VAMPIRES. GRRR! NASTY.
LET'S ANNIHILATE THEM.
FOR JUSTICE AND FOR...
THE SAFETY OF PUPPIES...
AND CHRISTMAS. RIGHT?
LET'S FIGHT THAT EVIL.
LET'S KILL SOMETHING.
[ Spike ] OH, COME ON!
GRR! ARRGH!