[ Sigh ] ANYTHING?
AH! "INTRODUCTION TO THE MODERN NOVEL.
A SURVEY STUDY OF 20th CENTURY NOVELISTS."
OPEN TO FRESHMEN. YOU MIGHT LIKE THAT.
INTRODUCTION TO THE MODERN NOVEL?
I'M GUESSING I'D PROBABLY HAVE TO READ THE MODERN NOVEL.
MAYBE MORE THAN ONE.
I LIKE BOOKS...
I JUST DON'T WANT TO TAKE ON TOO MUCH.
DO THEY HAVE AN INTRODUCTION TO THE MODERN BLURB?
OH! "SHORT STORY."
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
OH, NO. IT CONFLICTS WITH PSYCH.
MAYBE I SHOULDN'T TAKE PSYCH.
YOU GOTTA.
I-IT'S FUN, A-AND YOU CAN USE IT
AS YOUR SCIENCE REQUIREMENT.
ANYWAY, PROFESSOR WALSH IS SUPPOSED TO BE GREAT.
SHE'S LIKE WORLD-RENOWNED.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE RENOWNED?
I MEAN, LIKE, DO YOU HAVE TO BE "NOWNED" FIRST?
YES, FIRST THERE'S THE PAINFUL "NOWNING" PROCESS.
WAIT! "IMAGES OF POP CULTURE." THIS IS GOOD.
T-THEY WATCH MOVIES,
T-TV SHOWS, EVEN COMMERCIALS.
FOR CREDIT?
HEH. ISN'T COLLEGE COOL?
HOW DID I MISS THAT ONE?
WELL, YOU DID SORT OF WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE
WITH YOUR COURSE SELECTION.
SORRY, MISS "I CHOSE MY MAJOR IN PLAY GROUP."
THAT'S AN EXAGGERATION.
I JUST, YOU KNOW, THINK IT'S GOOD TO BE PREPARED.
DON'T WANT TO BE CAUGHT UNAWARES.
WELL, I'VE BEEN BUSY.
IT'S BEEN A VERY SLAY-HEAVY SUMMER.
JUST HAVEN'T HAD A WHOLE LOT OF TIME
TO THINK ABOUT LIFE AT UC SUNNYDALE.
COLLEGE IS EXCITING, THOUGH, ISN'T IT?
YEAH. IT'S GONNA BE AN ADJUSTMENT.
YEAH, IT'S, LIKE, 5 MILES AWAY.
HEH. UNCHARTED TERRITORY.
GILES SAID I HAVE TO BE SECRET-IDENTITY GAL AGAIN.
THAT MAKES SENSE.
IT'S GONNA BE TOUGH, THOUGH.
WITH A ROOMMATE.
YEAH.
I'M PSYCHED ABOUT COLLEGE. DEFINITELY.
I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW IT'S GONNA WORK
WITH MY EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES.
I JUST CAN'T LET IT TAKE THE EDGE OFF MY SLAYING.
I GOTTA STAY SHARP.
IS THIS GUY EVER GONNA WAKE UP?
♪ SOMETIMES ♪
♪ IN THE BACK OF MY MIND ♪
FRESHMEN! WE'RE DOING THIS BY FOLDER COLOR!
IF YOU'RE NOT HOLDING ON TO A YELLOW FOLDER,
YOU'RE IN THE WRONG GROUP.
YOU BELONG UP BY WIESMAN HALL.
[ Girl ] WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT.
[ Crowd ] NO!
DON'T TAKE IT LYING DOWN.
NO!
WHAT DO WE WANT?
[ Crowd Responds ]
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
NOW!
WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT.
NO!
DON'T TAKE IT LYING DOWN.
RALLY TOMORROW NIGHT.
WE HAVE TO LET THE ADMINISTRATION KNOW HOW WE FEEL.
YEAH. RIGHT.
HAVE YOU ACCEPTED JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOR?
UH, YOU KNOW, I MEANT TO,
A-AND THEN I JUST GOT REALLY BUSY.
PARTY THURSDAY AT ALPHA DELT.
GOTTA BE THERE. FREE JELL-O SHOTS FOR FRESHMAN WOMEN.
DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE... WIESMAN HALL IS?
[ Willow ] BUFFY. HEY!
BOY, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.
ISN'T THIS COOL? THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON.
YEAH. ALMOST, ONE MIGHT SAY, TOO MUCH.
I GOT ALL MY COURSES, EXCEPT FOR MODERN POETRY.
I HAD TO SWITCH TO ETHNOMUSICOLOGY, BUT THAT'S COOL.
WEST AFRICAN DRUMMING, I THINK IT'S GONNA CHANGE EVERYTHING.
HAVE YOU MET YOUR ROOMMATE YET?
NO.
ME NEITHER. I HOPE SHE'S COOL.
I SEE YOU GOT TICKETED, TOO.
YES. I'VE HEARD ABOUT 5 DIFFERENT ISSUES,
AND I'M ANGRY ABOUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM.
WHAT DID YOU GET?
JELL-O SHOTS.
I DIDN'T GET JELL-O SHOTS.
OH, I'LL TRADE YOU FOR A "TAKE BACK THE NIGHT."
ARE WE HEADING ANYWHERE NEAR WIESMAN HALL?
I STILL NEED TO GET MY I.D. CARD.
OH, I GOT MINE THIS MORNING.
THE LINES ARE REALLY LONG NOW. YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE EARLY.
WELL, I HOPE THAT I LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE
AND THAT I GROW.
I'M BEING ANNOYING, AREN'T I?
NO. IT'S NICE THAT YOU'RE EXCITED.
IT'S JUST IN HIGH SCHOOL, KNOWLEDGE WAS PRETTY MUCH FROWNED UPON.
YOU REALLY HAD TO WORK TO LEARN ANYTHING.
BUT HERE, THE ENERGY, THE COLLECTIVE INTELLIGENCE--
IT'S LIKE THIS FORCE, T-THIS PENETRATING FORCE,
AND I CAN JUST FEEL MY MIND OPENING UP, YOU KNOW,
AND LETTING THIS PLACE JUST THRUST INTO AND--AND SPURT KNOWLEDGE INTO--
THAT SENTENCE ENDED UP IN A DIFFERENT PLACE THAN IT STARTED OUT IN.
I'M WITH YOU, THOUGH. I'M ALL FOR SPURTY KNOWLEDGE.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST, IT'S A LITTLE OVERWHELMING.
DON'T YOU FEEL IT?
WELL, I'M...[ Gasp ] OOH, BOYFRIEND!
IT'S MY ON-CAMPUS BOYFRIEND.
OH, NO, I FORGOT TO PICK MINE UP.
LINE'S PROBABLY REALLY LONG NOW, TOO.
HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD. IT'S PRETTY MUCH A MADHOUSE, A MADHOUSE.
I KNOW. I WAS JUST SAYING THAT TO WILLOW.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST SO OVERWHELMING.
DON'T YOU FEEL COMPLETELY DISORIENTED?
OZ!
HEY, PAUL.
FINALLY MATRICULATING WITH US. VERY COOL.
TELL ME YOU'RE PLAYING THIS WEEK.
THURSDAY NIGHT, ALPHA DELT.
OOH! I HAVE THAT ONE.
I'M BRINGING THE WRECKING CREW. JELL-O SHOTS.
GOOD.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY'RE DISTRIBUTING
THE WORK-STUDY APPLICATIONS?
BACK OF RICHMOND HALL, NEXT TO THE AUDITORIUM.
THANKS. SEE YOU, BRO.
GO GET 'EM.
MY BAND'S PLAYED HERE A LOT. IT'S STILL ALL NEW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON. HEY, DOUG.
LIBRARY...OOH, LIBRARY. COME ON.
IT'S TOO BAD GILES COULDN'T BE LIBRARIAN HERE. BE CONVENIENT.
WELL, HE SAYS HE'S ENJOYING BEING A GENTLEMAN OF LEISURE.
GENTLEMAN OF LEISURE? ISN'T THAT JUST BRITISH FOR UNEMPLOYED?
UH-HUH. HE'S A SLACKER NOW.
SPEAKING OF SLACK, YOU HEARD ANYTHING FROM XANDER?
NOT FOR A WHILE.
HE'S STILL ON HIS "CROSS-COUNTRY, SEE AMERICA" THING.
HE SAID HE WASN'T COMING BACK UNTIL HE'D DRIVEN TO ALL 50 STATES.
DID YOU EXPLAIN ABOUT HAWAII?
WELL, HE SEEMED SO DETERMINED.
WELL, I HOPE HE GETS BACK SOON.
IT'D BE FUN TO HAVE THE WHOLE GANG BACK TOGETHER, YOU KNOW,
HANG OUT IN THE...LIBRARY.
WOW.
OH, MY GOSH, ISN'T THIS AMAZING?
IT'S...COZY.
YOU KNOW, I NEVER WANTED TO HURT GILES'S FEELINGS, BUT OCCULT BOOKS ASIDE,
OUR OLD LIBRARY JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE GREATEST SELECTION. BUT THIS!
YEAH, THIS IS GREAT, YOU KNOW,
IF WE EVER NEED A PLACE FOR THE NUREMBERG RALLIES.
AH, THIS IS A REAL LIBRARY.
[ Man ] SHH!
[ Whispering ] SEE, WE EVEN HAVE TO WHISPER.
IT LIKE A WHOLE NEW WORLD.
HERE. OH, THANKS.
I CAN'T WAIT TILL MOM GETS THE BILL FOR THESE BOOKS.
I HOPE IT'S A FUNNY ANEURISM.
INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY. OH, UP THERE.
I'LL GET THEM.
YOU KNOW, THIS STORE DISCRIMINATES AGAINST SHORT PEOPLE.
OH, I THINK THERE'S A PROTEST NEXT WEEK.
WHOA--OH!
OH! AH--OH, GOD, I'M SO SORRY.
I'M OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
WELL, THAT WAS BRACING.
I'M SO--THE BOOKS WERE JUST TOO HIGH,
AND THEN EVERYTHING WAS BAD.
LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.
LET'S PUT A FEW OF THESE DOWN HERE.
SO, UH, ARE YOU GIRLS TAKING INTRO PSYCH,
OR DO YOU JUST WANT ME DEAD?
UH-HUH. I MEAN, THE FIRST ONE.
WELL, YOU'LL HAVE A LOT OF FUN.
PROFESSOR WALSH-- SHE'S QUITE A CHARACTER.
YOU'VE TAKEN IT?
I'M A T.A. I'LL BE HELPING THE PROFESSOR OUT.
I'M SORRY. I'VE FORGOTTEN MY MANNERS IN ALL THE CONCUSSION.
I'M RILEY.
WILLOW, AND THIS IS MY FRIEND BUFFY.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU BOTH.
I'M NICE TO MEET.
HEY, DO YOU KNOW IF WE'RE GONNA BE STUDYING
OPERANT CONDITIONING IN THE FIRST SEMESTER?
'CAUSE I HEAR THAT'S KINDA PROFESSOR WALSH'S SPECIALTY.
ABSOLUTELY. YOU KNOW HER TREATISE ON DIETRICH'S WORK?
I KNOW OF IT.
IT'S NOT IN THE SYLLABUS, BUT IT'S A FASCINATING READ,
IF YOU'RE INTO THAT SORT OF THING. THEY HAVE IT HERE.
OOH! WHERE?
I'LL SHOW YOU.
I DON'T MEET THAT MANY FRESHMEN
THAT KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY.
WELL, IT'S FASCINATING.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE EVERYONE'S GOT A BRAIN.
OR...ALMOST EVERYONE.
HI.
OH, HI. ARE YOU BUFFY?
YEAH.
KATHY.
HI. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
YEAH.
SO, IT'S, UH, IT'S A PRETTY NICE ROOM, HUH?
HMM. I WAS SURPRISED,
'CAUSE YOU HEAR HORROR STORIES ABOUT FRESHMAN HOUSING.
YOU TOOK THE RIGHT SIDE.
YEAH. UM, BUT, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT IT--
NO, NO. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.
YOU EXCITED FOR CLASSES TOMORROW?
PAINFULLY.
[ Laughs ] I BET THERE'S GONNA BE
A LOT OF PARTIES TO GO TO THIS WEEK, TOO.
NOT THAT I'M A CRAZY PARTIER.
OH, AND I'M NOT ALWAYS THIS HYPER, EITHER. I'M JUST EXCITED.
YEAH. ME, TOO.
WOW. YOU KNOW, I AM REALLY GLAD
THAT THEY PUT ME WITH SOMEBODY COOL.
I CAN TELL THAT YOU'RE COOL.
I JUST KNOW THAT THIS WHOLE YEAR IS GONNA BE SUPER FUN.
[ Snores, Smacking Lips ]
[ Snoring ]
MM-MMM. [ Laughs ] MMM?
THE POINT OF THIS COURSE IS NOT TO CRITIQUE POPULAR AMERICAN CULTURE.
IT IS NOT TO PICK AT IT OR LOOK DOWN UPON IT.
AND IT IS NOT TO WATCH VIDEOS FOR CREDIT.
THE POINT IS TO EXAMINE ITS--
[ Whispering ] DO YOU KNOW IF THIS CLASS IS FULL YET?
AND THERE ARE 2 PEOPLE TALKING AT ONCE,
AND I KNOW THAT ONE OF THEM IS ME.
AND THE OTHER IS A BLONDE GIRL.
YOU, BLONDE GIRL. STAND UP.
I'M VERY EXCITED TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY
THAT'S WORTH INTERRUPTING MY LECTURE FOR.
I WAS JUST ASKING IF THE CLASS WAS STILL OPEN,
IF I COULD STILL SIGN UP.
IF YOUR NAME ISN'T ON THIS SHEET,
THEN YOU ARE WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME.
ARE YOU ON THE SHEET?
THEY TOLD ME THAT IF I JUST--
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
YOU ARE SUCKING ENERGY FROM EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM.
THEY CAME HERE TO LEARN.
GET OUT.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO...SUCK.
LEAVE! THANK YOU.
IF, UH, YOU'RE LOOKING FOR PSYCH, IT'S THROUGH HERE.
OH, THANKS.
HOW'S YOUR HEAD?
SORRY?
YESTERDAY, IN THE BOOKSTORE.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
OH, NO. SORRY. I REMEMBER YOU.
YOU'RE WILLOW'S FRIEND.
YEAH.
MY HEAD IS FINE.
IT JUST STUNG FOR A BIT
AND I LOST MOST OF MY BASIC MOTOR FUNCTIONS. IT'S NO BIGGIE.
WE'RE HERE.
I'M SORRY. I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER YOU.
BUFFY.
BUFFY. RIGHT. HAVE FUN TONIGHT, OKAY?
THANKS.
YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST WONDERING,
PROFESSOR WALSH ISN'T PLANNING ON YELLING AT ME
AND KICKING ME OUT OF THE CLASS, IS SHE?
IT'S NOT IN HER LESSON PLAN.
GREAT.
HOW WAS POP CULTURE?
I DECIDED NOT TO TAKE IT.
IT SEEMED DULL.
OKAY, THIS IS PSYCH 105, INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY.
I'M PROFESSOR WALSH. THOSE OF YOU WHO FALL INTO MY GOOD GRACES
WILL COME TO KNOW ME AS MAGGIE.
THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T WILL COME TO KNOW ME
BY THE NAME MY T.A.S USE AND THINK I DON'T KNOW ABOUT,
THE EVIL BITCH-MONSTER OF DEATH.
MAKE NO MISTAKE, I RUN A HARD CLASS.
I ASSIGN A LOT OF WORK, I TALK FAST, AND I EXPECT YOU TO KEEP UP.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO COAST, I RECOMMEND GEOLOGY 101.
THAT'S WHERE THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS ARE.
OH! OH!
WOW. SORRY.
NO, I WASN'T LOOKING.
DID YOU, UH, LOSE YOUR WAY?
ME? OH, NO, NO, NO. I'M JUST GOING TO FISCHER HALL,
WHICH I KNOW IS ON THE EARTH PLANET.
RECENTLY VOTED "MOST PATHETIC," UH-HUH.
MMM, WELL, I'M LOST, AND I HAVE A MAP, SO--
OH. I COME IN SECOND.
I'M BUFFY, BY THE WAY.
EDDIE.
OKAY, SO...
SO THAT'S FISCHER HALL, RIGHT?
OKAY, AND THIS IS DUNWORTH BUILDING. THAT'S MY DORM.
IT'S JUST IT-IT'S US I CAN'T FIND.
ARE WE THE BLUE PART?
NO. YES.
OKAY, RIGHT, SO, IF I--I CAME FROM THERE,
THEN WE WOULD JUST WANT TO GO THAT WAY TO THE BIKE PATH.
YOU SOUND VERY CERTAIN. I'M IN.
ARE YOU TAKING PSYCH 105 WITH PROFESSOR WALSH?
YEAH. I MEAN, I'M GONNA TRY.
SHE'S NOT AFRAID OF THE LONG WORDS, HUH?
YEAH, SHE'S PRETTY INTENSE.
A LOT OF THE COURSES ARE REALLY TOUGH.
I'M A LITTLE UPSET.
I HAD IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY
THIS WAS A PARTY SCHOOL.
I THINK IT'S SUPPOSED TO GET EASIER.
I STILL FEEL LIKE CARRYING AROUND A SECURITY BLANKET.
OF HUMAN BONDAGE. HAVE YOU EVER READ IT?
OH, I'M NOT REALLY INTO PORN--
I MEAN, I'M JUST TRYING TO CUT WAY BACK.
NO, THERE'S NO ACTUAL BONDAGE. IT'S JUST A NOVEL.
I'VE READ IT, LIKE, 10 TIMES.
I ALWAYS KEEP IT BY MY BED.
SECURITY BLANKET.
I DON'T REALLY HAVE A SECURITY BLANKET,
UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU COUNT MR. POINTY.
MR. POINTY?
OH, BIKE PATH.
SO, IT'S NICE TO KNOW
THAT I'M NOT THE ONLY ENTIRELY CONFUSED PERSON ON THIS CAMPUS.
I SUSPECT THERE'S A LOT OF US.
WELL, I'LL LOOK FOR YOU IN PSYCH.
YEAH. MAYBE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER
FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.
[ Laughs ] OKAY.
MAYBE EVEN MAKE IT THROUGH THE YEAR. [ Laughs ]
GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.
I'M SORRY. DID YOU LOSE YOUR WAY?
[ Door Closes ]
YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE?
YEAH.
YOU MADE A FRIEND? GOOD FOR YOU.
THANKS, MOM.
YEAH. EDDIE JUST TOOK OFF.
PACKED HIS STUFF, LEFT A NOTE. HAPPENS SOMETIMES.
SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT.
THERE'S ALWAYS A FEW KIDS WHO LOSE IT
EARLY IN THE FIRST SEMESTER AND JUST BAIL.
WEAK ONES, I GUESS.
BORING, BORING...
BORING, BORING.
[ Sigh ] ASTONISHINGLY BORING.
WE...WE HAVE TO KILL SOME COOLER PEOPLE.
WILL SOMEBODY REMIND ME?
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID PICK ON THE WEAK ONES,
THIN THE HERD AND ALL THAT.
DOES THIS SWEATER MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
NO. THE FACT THAT YOU'RE FAT MAKES YOU LOOK FAT.
THAT SWEATER JUST MAKES YOU LOOK PURPLE.
[ Sigh ] YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER.
HEY, WORDS CAN HURT LIKE A FIST.
HEY, CHECK IT OUT.
[ Sunday ] WELL?
DO WE HAVE A KLIMT?
YES!
BIG SCORE FOR KLIMT.
MONET STILL WELL IN THE LEAD,
BUT LOOK OUT FOR TEAM KLIMT COMING FROM BEHIND.
FRESHMEN. MAN, THEY'RE SO PREDICTABLE.
AND YOU CAN NEVER EAT JUST ONE.
YEAH, I'M HUNGRY.
WHAT A SHOCK.
WE EAT WHEN I SAY WE EAT.
WELL, WE COULD HIT THE TUNNELS.
WE EAT WHEN I SAY WE EAT!
GOD, LIGHTEN UP.
I THINK IT'S FUNNY WHEN YOU SCREAM.
IT'S LIKE...WHOA!
I GOTTA GET ME SOME BETTER LACKEYS, I SWEAR.
YOU GUYS ARE USELESS.
I SHOULDN'T EVEN TAKE YOU ON THE HUNT.
GREAT. WHY DON'T YOU LET DEAD EDDIE GET YOU DINNER?
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE PLAN.
[ Knocks ]
GILES?
RUPERT, IS THIS BLEU CHEESE,
OR IS IT JUST CHEESE THAT'S GONE BLUE?
YOU'RE NOT GILES.
UM, YOU KNOW, THE DOOR WAS OPEN, SO I JUST--
UH, GILES DOES STILL LIVE HERE, RIGHT?
HE DOES.
[ Giles Coughs ]
HE APPEARS. RUPERT, YOU HAVE A GUEST.
BUFFY, HELLO.
IS THIS A BAD TIME?
NO...UH, FORGIVE ME. UM, THIS IS OLIVIA.
SHE'S AN OLD FRIEND. SHE'S STAYING OVER FOR A FEW DAYS.
COULDN'T PASS THROUGH SUNNY CAL WITHOUT LOOKING UP OLD RIPPER.
UH-HUH.
BUFFY IS--UM, WAS A STUDENT OF MINE.
AND HOW IS UNIVERSITY?
PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS HIGH SCHOOL,
IN THE SENSE OF I NEED HELP.
AH. HELP, YES.
BUT THIS JUST LOOKS LIKE A BAD TIME.
NO, YOU GUYS TALK.
I'LL GO SLIP INTO SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS COMFORTABLE.
SO, UH, TROUBLE WITH, UM, STUDIES?
THIS IS A BAD TIME.
YOU KEEP SAYING THAT.
WELL, IT LOOKS PRETTY BAD.
I THINK SOMEONE HAD JUST A LITTLE TOO MUCH
FREE TIME ON THEIR HANDS.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A PRIVATE LIFE?
NO. BECAUSE YOU'RE VERY, VERY OLD, AND IT'S GROSS.
WELL, BEFORE I SUCCUMB TO THE RAVAGES OF AGE
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
THERE'S A STUDENT MISSING.
YES?
EDDIE. HE'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE LEFT SCHOOL,
BUT I JUST DON'T THINK HE DID.
I MET HIM OUTSIDE LAST NIGHT,
AND THEN I WENT BACK WHERE WE MET,
AND IT LOOKED LIKE THERE'D BEEN A STRUGGLE.
AND?
AND WE NEED TO STOP THIS.
I MEAN, EDDIE'S R.A. SAID KIDS DISAPPEAR A LOT.
THERE COULD BE A GANG OF VAMPIRES WORKING THE CAMPUS.
WE NEED RESEARCH AND--AND CHARTS AND STUFF.
I--I STILL DON'T SEE WHERE I FIT IN.
I MEAN, YOU HAVEN'T DESCRIBED ANYTHING YOU CAN'T DO YOURSELF.
OKAY, REMEMBER BEFORE YOU BECAME HUGH HEFNER,
WHEN YOU USED TO BE A WATCHER?
WELL, OFFICIALLY, YOU NO LONGER HAVE A WATCHER.
BUFFY, YOU KNOW I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE WHEN YOU NEED ME.
I MEAN, YOUR SAFETY IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN ANYTHING,
BUT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
YOU'RE OUT OF SCHOOL, AND I CAN'T ALWAYS BE THERE TO GUIDE YOU.
I'M SORRY TO BUG YOU.
BUFFY--
OH, NO--I MEAN, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I CAN HANDLE THIS.
I-IT'S JUST THAT... I'M ON IT.
I AM HERE IF YOU NEED ME.
[ Door Closes ]
SHE'S GONE?
YES.
SO DID YOU HELP HER?
I'M...NOT SURE.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HUNT IN THIS MOB?
DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE HOMES?
EDDIE?
EDDIE.
EDDIE, HEY! WAIT UP.
GOD, I WAS WORRIED THAT SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU,
AND OF COURSE IT HAS
BECAUSE YOU'RE A VAMPIRE.
I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT.
THE SLAYER.
WOW. UM, I HEARD YOU MIGHT BE COMING HERE.
THIS IS, I MEAN-- WHAT A CHALLENGE.
THE SLAYER.
AND YOU ARE?
OH, I'M--I'M SUNDAY.
I'LL BE KILLING YOU HERE IN A MINUTE OR SO.
YOU KNOW, THAT THREAT GETS MORE FRIGHTENING EVERY TIME I HEAR IT.
UH, ARE WE GONNA FIGHT,
OR IS THERE JUST GONNA BE A MONSTER SARCASM RALLY?
I'M IN FOR A PIECE.
EVERYBODY GETS TO PLAY.
GUYS, THIS IS TOTALLY...MINE.
OKAY, BUT YOU GOTTA SHARE THE EATIN',
'CAUSE I'M THINKIN' SLAYER'S BLOOD'S
GOTTA BE, WHOA, LIKE THAI STICK.
I THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET SMARTER IN COLLEGE.
YEAH, I THINK YOU HAD A LOT OF MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT COLLEGE,
LIKE THAT ANYONE WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD WEARING THAT.
DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, BUT...
YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL.
AAH. AAH. UNH.
FRESHMAN.
[ Smacking ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Raucous Laughter ]
NO, NO, NO, NO.
THE BEST PART WAS WHEN YOU RAGGED ON HER CLOTHES.
SHE WAS LIKE, "NO, NOT THE ENSEMBLE."
THOSE JEANS WITH THE LITTLE PATCHES?
SHE HAS NO ONE TO BLAME BUT HERSELF.
I HEARD THEY'RE COMIN' BACK.
NOT IF I KILL EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO WEARS THEM.
STILL THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE LET US HAVE A PIECE.
WE COULD'VE FINISHED HER OFF.
SHE'S NOT GONNA LAST THE NIGHT.
SHE'S A DONE DEAL.
IN FACT, GUYS,
YOU'RE GONNA HIT THE TUNNELS.
MOM?
BUFFY.
HI.
HI, HONEY, HOW ARE YOU?
I'M OKAY.
HOW'S COLLEGE? YOU'VE BEEN FIGHTING.
OH, UH, THEY STARTED IT.
JUST AS LONG AS YOU'RE BEING CAREFUL.
I REALLY DIDN'T THINK YOU'D SHOW HERE FOR AWHILE.
OH, I DIDN'T HAVE CLASSES TODAY,
AND EVERYTHING'S JUST BEEN SO HECTIC,
I FIGURED IT BE NICE TO COME AND CRASH...FOR--
OH, WELL, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE BACK FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS,
BUT I DIDN'T MOVE ANYTHING. IT'S STILL YOUR ROOM.
YOU FILLED IT WITH PACKING CRATES.
YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T MOVE ANYTHING.
IF IT'S STILL MY ROOM,
SHOULDN'T I BE ABLE TO FIT IN IT?
WELL, IT'S JUST FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS
WHILE WE DO INVENTORY AT THE GALLERY.
I JUST REALLY DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE BACK SO SOON.
NEITHER DID I.
[ Telephone Rings ]
HELLO?
[ Silence ]
HELLO?
♪ REACT ♪
♪ ELECTRICITY ♪
♪ CONDUCTING'S BACK ♪
♪ SHOWER WITH ME ♪
♪♪ [ Continues, Indistinct ]
♪ YOU AND ME ♪
♪♪ [ Continues, Indistinct ]
THE WHOLE WORLD IN FRONT OF HER, AND SHE COMES BACK TO THIS DIVE.
XANDER!
HEY, BUFF.
OHH. WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?
COUPLE DAYS AGO.
FREAK OF NATURE. WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?
WELL, I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE STARTING THE WHOLE COLLEGE ADVENTURE,
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO, UM, YOU KNOW...
HELP YOU MOVE.
I MISSED YOU. HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?
IS AMERICA NICE? I HEAR IT'S NICE.
THERE'S SOME PURPLE MOUNTAINS MAJESTY I'M GONNA HAVE TO SAY.
WHAT'D YOU DO, WHAT'D YA SEE?
WELL--
TELL ME.
GRAND CANYON.
SAW THE GRAND CANYON.
WELL, I SAW THE MOVIE GRAND CANYON ON CABLE.
REALLY LAME.
HUH?
BASICALLY, I GOT AS FAR AS OXNARD,
AND THE ENGINE FELL OUT OF MY CAR.
AND THAT WAS LITERALLY.
SO I ENDED UP WASHING DISHES
AT THE FABULOUS "LADIES' NIGHT" CLUB
FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND A HALF
WHILE I TRIED TO PAY FOR THE REPAIRS.
NO ONE REALLY BOTHERED ME OR EVEN SPOKE TO ME
UNTIL ONE NIGHT,
WHEN ONE OF THE MALE STRIPPERS CALLED IN SICK,
AND NO POWER ON THIS EARTH
WILL MAKE ME TELL YOU THE REST OF THAT STORY.
SUFFICE TO SAY I TRADED MY CAR IN
FOR ONE THAT WASN'T ENTIRELY MADE OF RUST,
CAME TRUNDLING BACK HOME TO THE ARMS OF MY LOVING PARENTS,
WHERE EVERYTHING WAS EXACTLY AS IT WAS,
EXCEPT I SLEEP IN THE BASEMENT, AND I HAVE TO PAY RENT.
HOW'S COLLEGE?
MALE STRIPPERS?
NO POWER ON THIS EARTH.
OKAY. COLLEGE IS GOOD.
OKAY, ONCE MORE WITH EVEN LESS FEELING.
NO, REALLY. I MEAN, WILLOW'S IN HEAVEN,
AND OZ HAS THIS REALLY COOL HOUSE OFF-CAMPUS WITH THE BAND.
AND YOU'RE SITTING HERE ALONE AT THE BRONZE
LOOKING LIKE YOU JUST GOT DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER OF THE PUPPY.
NAH, IT'S JUST--
THERE WAS THIS VAMPIRE, AND SHE TOOK ME DOWN,
AND I JUST...I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP HER.
THEN WHERE'S THE GANG?
AVENGERS ASSEMBLE. LET'S GET IT GOING.
NO, I DON'T WANNA BUG THEM.
I MEAN, THEY'RE JUST STARTING SCHOOL.
THEY DON'T NEED THIS.
OKAY, BUFF, WHAT'S THE WHAT HERE?
IT'S JUST...
WHAT IF I CAN'T CUT IT?
CAN'T CUT WHAT? SLAYING?
SLAYING...EVERYTHING.
BUFFY, THIS IS ALL ABOUT FEAR.
IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE, BUT YOU CAN'T LET IT CONTROL YA.
FEAR LEADS TO ANGER.
ANGER LEADS TO HATE.
HATE LEADS TO ANGER.
NO, WAIT. HOLD ON.
FEAR LEADS TO HATE.
HATE LEADS TO THE DARK SIDE.
HOLD ON. NO.
UM...FIRST YOU GET THE WOMEN,
THEN YOU GET THE MONEY,
THEN YOU... OKAY, CAN WE FORGET THAT?
THANKS FOR THE DADA-IST PEP TALK.
I FEEL MUCH MORE ABSTRACT NOW.
THE POINT IS, YOU'RE BUFFY.
YEAH...MAYBE IN HIGH SCHOOL I WAS BUFFY...
AND NOW, IN COLLEGE, YOU'RE BETTY LOUISE?
YEAH, I'M BETTY LOUISE PLOTNIK, REECE CUPCAKE, ILLINOIS.
OR I MIGHT AS WELL BE.
BUFFY...
I'VE GONE THROUGH SOME FAIRLY DARK TIMES IN MY LIFE.
FACED SOME SCARY THINGS,
AMONG THEM, THE KITCHEN AT THE FABULOUS "LADIES' NIGHT" CLUB.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
WHEN IT'S DARK AND I'M ALL ALONE AND I'M SCARED OR FREAKED OUT OR WHATEVER,
I ALWAYS THINK... "WHAT WOULD BUFFY DO?"
YOU'RE MY HERO.
OKAY, SOMETIMES WHEN IT'S DARK AND I'M ALL ALONE,
I'D THINK, "WHAT IS BUFFY WEARING?"
CAN THAT BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS
YOU NEVER, EVER TELL ME ABOUT?
IT'S A DEAL.
LET'S PUT THIS BITCH IN THE GROUND.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I THINK...
I SAY THANK YOU.
AND NOTHING SAYS THANK YOU LIKE DOLLARS IN THE WAISTBAND.
OKAY, WHAT DO WE DO FIRST?
KIDS DISAPPEARING EVERY YEAR.
NOT TOO MANY, JUST ENOUGH
SO THAT EVERYONE THINKS THEY UP AND LEFT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THE VAMPIRES TOOK YOUR STUFF.
MURDER I EXPECT, BUT PETTY LARCENY SEEMS SO...PETTY.
WELL, THEY HAVE TO BE KEEPING IT SOMEWHERE,
ON CAMPUS OR AT LEAST NEARBY.
HEY, HOW FAR BACK DO THE DISAPPEARANCES GO?
UH...THEY WEREN'T TOO COMMON BEFORE '82.
MAGIC NUMBER. CHECK THIS OUT.
"PSI-THETA LOSES ITS CHARTER.
BUILDING TO BE CLOSED FOR RENOVATION"?
1982. LOOK AT THIS.
"THE FORMER PSI-THETA FRATERNITY HOUSE LIES DORMANT
WHILE ZONING ISSUES DRAG ON BEFORE THE CITY COUNCIL."
WE HAVE A WINNER
LOOKS PRETTY CHERRY.
YOU UP FOR A LITTLE RECONNAISSANCE?
YOU MEAN WHERE WE ALL SCULPT AND PAINT AND STUFF?
NO, THAT WAS THE RENAISSANCE.
OH. I'VE HAD A REALLY LONG WEEK.
LET'S GO LOOK AT THE HOUSE.
SCORE.
LOOK HOW TOUGH I AM.
OHH, THAT'S MY SKIRT.
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIT IN IT WITH THOSE HIPS.
WE HAVE TO KILL THEM.
WE NEED WEAPONS.
I DON'T SEE MY WEAPONS TRUNK DOWN THERE.
IT WAS RIGHT BY MY BED.
MR. GORDO?
WHOO!
GO TO MY ROOM.
IF IT'S NOT THERE, TRY WILLOW'S.
I'LL KEEP AN EYE--
MY DIARY?
UH-OH, SCORE.
I'LL HURRY.
HO HO, LOOK HOW TOUGH I AM.
LAUGH ALL YOU WANT.
THIS TIME, WE PLAY IT MY WAY,
AND THE RULES ARE GONNA BE JUST A LITTLE BIT--
AHHH.
OHH.
SAY, DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM...
BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF YOU?
I JUST THOUGHT I'D DROP IN.
GET IT? DROP IN?
BOY, TOUGH ROOM.
I MUST SAY, YOU'VE REALLY GOT ME NOW.
I MEAN, THIS IS A DIABOLICAL PLAN.
THROW YOURSELF AT MY FEET WITH A BROKEN ARM
AND NO WEAPONS OF ANY KIND.
HOW AM I GONNA GET OUT OF THIS ONE?
YOU GOT A NICE SETUP HERE. BUT YOU MADE ONE MISTAKE.
WHAT WAS THAT?
WELL, I'M NOT ACTUALLY POSITIVE,
BUT STATISTICALLY SPEAKING, PEOPLE USUALLY MAKE AT LEAST--
IT SEEMED KINDA WEIRD.
YEAH, WEIRD'S A PRETTY GOOD WORD FOR IT.
BUFFY WOULDN'T JUST TAKE OFF.
THAT'S JUST NOT IN HER NATURE,
EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME
SHE DISAPPEARED FOR SEVERAL MONTHS AND CHANGED HER NAME,
BUT THERE WERE CIRCUMSTANCES THEN.
THERE'S NO CIRCUMSTANCES.
DOES BUFFY HAVE A HISTORY OF EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS?
'CAUSE ON MY REQUEST FORM,
I WAS PRETTY SPECIFIC ABOUT A STABLE NON-SMOKER.
I DON'T THINK THIS IS HER HANDWRITING.
I BET THERE WERE CIRCUMSTANCES.
WE'VE PROBABLY BEEN SO WRAPPED UP IN OUR OWN PETTY LIVES
THAT WE TOTALLY MISSED THE CIRCUMSTANCES.
WE'RE BAD FRIENDS.
WIL, LET'S THINK THIS THROUGH.
HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?
LONG, ARDUOUS HOURS OF PRACTICE.
NOW, EITHER BUFFY TOOK OFF,
OR SHE WAS ROBBED OR--
IT'S A PRANK!
XANDER.
HOW ARE MY GUYS?
I DON'T KNOW YOU, DO I?
NO.
THIS IS VERY INTRUSIVE, ISN'T IT?
LITTLE BIT.
XANDER. KATHY.
DO WE HUG?
I THINK WE'RE TOO MANLY.
WHAT'S THE PRANK? PRANK?
OH, THE ROOM.
WELL, SOME FRIENDS OF BUFFY'S PLAYED A FUNNY JOKE
AND THEY TOOK HER STUFF
AND NOW SHE WANTS US TO HELP GET IT BACK
FROM HER FRIENDS WHO SLEEP ALL DAY AND HAVE NO TANS.
OHH, THOSE FRIENDS.
FUNNY GUYS.
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
THEY TOOK THE CHEST.
WELL, LET'S GO. LET'S GO TO OUR FRIEND.
IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU, KATHY.
YOU, TOO.
LET'S GO TO WIL'S, GET SUPPLIES.
IS BUFFY IN DANGER?
SHE'S IN A HOLDING PATTERN. WE'VE GOT SOME TIME.
OHH. UNH! UNH!
OH, AND THIS.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE ITEM.
YOU DON'T WANNA TOUCH THAT.
NO! AAH!
THIS ARM'S NOT LOOKING SO GOOD.
GAAH! AAH!
IT MIGHT HAVE TO COME OFF.
YOU WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH?
I ONLY NEED ONE.
THIS IS STARTIN' TO SUCK.
WHOA.
WHEN YOU LOOK BACK AT THIS,
IN THE 3 SECONDS IT'LL TAKE YOU TO TURN TO DUST,
I THINK YOU'LL FIND THE MISTAKE WAS TOUCHING MY STUFF.
WHAT ABOUT BREAKING YOUR ARM?
AAH!
HOW DOES THAT FEEL?
LET ME ANSWER THAT QUESTION WITH A HEAD-BUTT.
AND FOR THE RECORD... THE ARM IS HURT.
IT'S NOT BROKEN.
HEY, BUFF.
NEED A HAND?
NO THANKS.
I'M GOOD.
SO, ALL THAT OTHER STUFF IN THERE--
THAT'S JUST GONNA SIT IN THERE, RIGHT?
I MEAN, NO ONE OWNS IT IN THE STRICTEST SENSE.
IT SEEMS WRONG SOMEHOW.
DIBS ON THE ROWING MACHINE.
BUFFY!
HI, GILES.
WHAT'S WITH THE ARSENAL?
I'VE BEEN AWAKE ALL NIGHT.
I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO TEACH YOU SELF-RELIANCE,
BUT I CAN'T LEAVE YOU OUT THERE TO FIGHT ALONE.
TO HELL WITH WHAT'S RIGHT. I-I'M READY TO BACK YOU UP.
LET'S FIND THE EVIL
AND--AND--AND FIGHT IT TOGETHER.
GREAT. THANKS. WE'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT.
THE EVIL IS THIS WAY?
MY ROOM IS.
HEY, GILES, CAN YOU GET THIS BOX ON TOP?
SO, COLLEGE NOT SO SCARY AFTER ALL, HUH?
IT'S TURNING OUT TO BE A LOT LIKE HIGH SCHOOL,
WHICH I CAN HANDLE.
AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.
GRR! ARRGH!