1 00:00:02,688 --> 00:00:04,521 Announcer: IN EVERY GENERATION, THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE. 2 00:00:04,521 --> 00:00:06,563 SHE ALONE WILL STAND AGAINST THE VAMPIRES, 3 00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:07,688 THE DEMONS, 4 00:00:07,688 --> 00:00:09,438 AND THE FORCES OF DARKNESS. 5 00:00:09,438 --> 00:00:10,813 SHE IS THE SLAYER. 6 00:00:13,104 --> 00:00:14,479 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 7 00:00:14,479 --> 00:00:16,479 XANDER, HE WAS OBVIOUSLY IN CHARGE. 8 00:00:16,479 --> 00:00:18,479 HE WAS A PUPPET. SHE WAS USING HIM. 9 00:00:18,479 --> 00:00:20,438 HE DIDN'T SEEM LIKE THE TYPE OF GUY 10 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,438 WHO WOULD LET HIMSELF BE USED. 11 00:00:22,438 --> 00:00:24,104 THAT WAS HER GENIUS. 12 00:00:24,104 --> 00:00:25,896 HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS PLAYING SECOND FIDDLE. 13 00:00:25,896 --> 00:00:27,563 BUFFY. HUH? 14 00:00:27,563 --> 00:00:31,062 WHO WAS THE REAL POWER: THE CAPTAIN OR TENNILLE? 15 00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,563 UM, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? 16 00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:35,646 THE CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE? 17 00:00:35,646 --> 00:00:39,521 BOY, SOMEBODY WAS RAISED IN A CULTURE-FREE ENVIRONMENT. 18 00:00:39,521 --> 00:00:41,521 I'M SORRY. I WAS JUST-- 19 00:00:41,521 --> 00:00:42,563 THINKING? 20 00:00:42,563 --> 00:00:44,062 NO, NOT THINKING. 21 00:00:44,062 --> 00:00:46,604 HAVING A LOT OF HAPPY NON-THOUGHTS. 22 00:00:46,604 --> 00:00:49,187 I LOVE IT WHEN THINGS ARE QUIET AROUND HERE. 23 00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:51,563 YEAH, WITH SPIKE AND DRUSILLA OUT OF THE WAY, 24 00:00:51,563 --> 00:00:53,771 WE'VE REALLY BEEN RIDING THE MELLOW. 25 00:00:53,771 --> 00:00:57,563 AND I AM REALLY JINXING THE HELL OUT OF US BY SAYING THAT. 26 00:00:57,563 --> 00:00:59,479 YEAH, BUT WE'LL LET YOU OFF THIS TIME. 27 00:00:59,479 --> 00:01:01,646 SO WE'RE PRETTY SURE 28 00:01:01,646 --> 00:01:04,104 THAT THERE ARE NO MORE TARAKAN ASSASSINS COMING OUR WAY? 29 00:01:04,104 --> 00:01:06,230 ANGEL'S SOURCES SAY THE CONTRACT'S OFF. 30 00:01:06,230 --> 00:01:07,771 HOW IS ANGEL? 31 00:01:07,771 --> 00:01:09,021 PRETEND I CARE. 32 00:01:09,021 --> 00:01:10,354 GETTING BETTER. 33 00:01:10,354 --> 00:01:12,062 AND YOU'RE LOVING PLAYING NURSEMAID? 34 00:01:12,062 --> 00:01:13,563 OH, YEAH. 35 00:01:13,563 --> 00:01:15,271 SO IS IT BETTER THAN PLAYING NAUGHTY STEWARDESS? 36 00:01:15,271 --> 00:01:16,855 XANDER... 37 00:01:22,855 --> 00:01:25,229 YOU GUYS WAIT HERE A SECOND. 38 00:01:32,688 --> 00:01:34,062 Joyce: NO! 39 00:01:35,646 --> 00:01:36,813 MOM! 40 00:01:37,855 --> 00:01:40,104 OH, MY-- 41 00:01:40,104 --> 00:01:42,021 I'M--I'M SORRY. 42 00:01:42,021 --> 00:01:44,438 I--I HEARD... 43 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,312 I--I BROKE A WINE GLASS. 44 00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:47,896 YOU'RE HOME EARLY. 45 00:01:47,896 --> 00:01:48,896 HI. 46 00:01:48,896 --> 00:01:50,688 HI. 47 00:01:50,688 --> 00:01:53,896 OH, THIS IS MY DAUGHTER BUFFY. 48 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:56,396 BUFFY, THIS IS TED. 49 00:02:55,271 --> 00:02:56,563 OKAY, HERE WE GO. 50 00:03:01,187 --> 00:03:04,771 SO, ALL THESE LATE NIGHTS AT THE GALLERY RECENTLY, 51 00:03:04,771 --> 00:03:07,354 I GATHER YOU WERE CATALOGING MORE THAN ART. 52 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:11,479 WELL, I'D BEEN LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT TO INTRODUCE YOU TWO. 53 00:03:11,479 --> 00:03:13,354 HE'S A WONDERFUL MAN. 54 00:03:17,479 --> 00:03:19,104 HOW'D YOU MEET? 55 00:03:19,104 --> 00:03:21,146 OH, HE SELLS COMPUTER SOFTWARE. 56 00:03:21,146 --> 00:03:22,479 HE REDID MY ENTIRE SYSTEM AT THE GALLERY. 57 00:03:22,479 --> 00:03:24,021 FREED UP A LOT OF MY TIME. 58 00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:25,312 TO MEET NEW PEOPLE... 59 00:03:25,312 --> 00:03:27,354 AND SMOOCH THEM IN MY KITCHEN. 60 00:03:27,354 --> 00:03:28,896 YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT. 61 00:03:28,896 --> 00:03:30,604 I LIKE MY NEW 9-GIG HARD DRIVE. 62 00:03:30,604 --> 00:03:33,104 BUT YOU DON'T LOVE IT 'CAUSE WITHOUT THE DMA UPGRADE, 63 00:03:33,104 --> 00:03:35,021 YOUR COMPUTER'S ONLY HALF A ROCKET SHIP. 64 00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:37,104 YEAH, BUT WHO CAN AFFORD THE UPGRADES? 65 00:03:37,104 --> 00:03:39,229 YOU CAN. I GET THE DEMOS FOR FREE. 66 00:03:39,229 --> 00:03:41,021 I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULDN'T GIVE 'EM TO YOU FOR THE SAME PRICE. 67 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,354 ANY FRIEND OF BUFFY'S... 68 00:03:42,354 --> 00:03:43,729 [EXCITED BABBLING] 69 00:03:43,729 --> 00:03:45,855 WHAT? 70 00:03:45,855 --> 00:03:48,187 THAT'S THE SOUND SHE MAKES WHEN SHE'S SPEECHLESS WITH GEEKER JOY. 71 00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:50,980 CAN I JUST SAY, THIS IS THE FINEST PIZZA EVER ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH? 72 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,187 WHAT IS YOUR SECRET? 73 00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:54,104 WELL, AFTER YOU BAKE IT, 74 00:03:54,104 --> 00:03:56,104 YOU FRY IT IN HERBS AND OLIVE OIL, 75 00:03:56,104 --> 00:03:58,354 BUT YOU GOTTA USE A CAST-IRON SKILLET. 76 00:03:58,354 --> 00:04:00,062 NO ROOM FOR COMPROMISE THERE. 77 00:04:00,062 --> 00:04:01,604 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD MARKET THESE THINGS. 78 00:04:01,604 --> 00:04:04,312 I MEAN, YOU CAN GET 2, 300 BUCKS APIECE. 79 00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:09,230 HUNGRY? 80 00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:10,479 NO, THANKS. 81 00:04:10,479 --> 00:04:12,521 BUFFY, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE. 82 00:04:12,521 --> 00:04:15,104 THAT WASN'T HOW I WANTED US TO MEET. 83 00:04:15,104 --> 00:04:17,896 I WANTED IT TO BE... PERFECT. 84 00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:19,479 I'M VERY FOND OF YOUR MOTHER. 85 00:04:19,479 --> 00:04:21,729 I GUESS THAT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS. 86 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:25,146 I KNOW YOU'RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN HER LIFE, AND... 87 00:04:25,146 --> 00:04:28,688 WELL, GOSH, THAT MAKES YOU PRETTY IMPORTANT TO ME, TOO. 88 00:04:28,688 --> 00:04:30,438 BUFFY, I REALLY WANT YOU TO BE OK WITH THIS. 89 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,729 BEG TO DIFFER. 90 00:04:32,729 --> 00:04:35,604 WE REALLY WANT YOU TO BE OK WITH THIS. 91 00:04:35,604 --> 00:04:37,688 I'M OK. 92 00:04:37,688 --> 00:04:39,271 YOU ARE? 93 00:04:39,271 --> 00:04:40,855 I AM. 94 00:04:49,271 --> 00:04:52,354 BUFFY, I BELIEVE HE'S, UM... 95 00:05:01,104 --> 00:05:04,312 IT'S STAKING TIME, REALLY. DON'T YOU THINK? 96 00:05:19,938 --> 00:05:21,271 ANY OTHERS? 97 00:05:21,271 --> 00:05:23,104 WELL, FOR THEIR SAKES, I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT. 98 00:05:23,104 --> 00:05:25,813 WHAT? KILL VAMPIRES. THAT'S MY JOB. 99 00:05:25,813 --> 00:05:27,271 TRUE, TRUE, ALTHOUGH YOU DON'T USUALLY BEAT THEM 100 00:05:27,271 --> 00:05:29,646 INTO QUITE SUCH A BLOODY PULP BEFOREHAND. 101 00:05:29,646 --> 00:05:31,062 EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 102 00:05:31,062 --> 00:05:32,521 YEAH, FINE. 103 00:05:35,771 --> 00:05:37,688 I KILLED A VAMPIRE HERE ON WEDNESDAY. 104 00:05:37,688 --> 00:05:39,271 WHY DO THEY HANG OUT AT THE PARK? 105 00:05:39,271 --> 00:05:40,771 WE'LL THEY'RE SCATTERED, YOU KNOW, 106 00:05:40,771 --> 00:05:42,104 NOW THAT THEIR LEADERS ARE GONE, 107 00:05:42,104 --> 00:05:44,021 WITH ANY LUCK, DEAD. 108 00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:45,646 IN TIMES OF CRISIS, 109 00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,021 THEY USUALLY RETURN TO THE EASIEST FEEDING GROUNDS. 110 00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:49,771 VAMPIRES ARE CREEPS. 111 00:05:49,771 --> 00:05:52,271 YES. THAT'S WHY ONE SLAYS THEM. 112 00:05:52,271 --> 00:05:55,438 I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE PERFECTLY HAPPY GETTING ALONG, 113 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,312 AND THEN VAMPIRES COME, AND THEY RUN AROUND, AND THEY KILL PEOPLE. 114 00:05:58,312 --> 00:05:59,813 THEY TAKE OVER YOUR WHOLE HOUSE. 115 00:05:59,813 --> 00:06:01,771 THEY START MAKING THESE STUPID LITTLE MINI-PIZZAS. 116 00:06:01,771 --> 00:06:03,104 I LIKE A MINI-PIZZA, BUT I'M TELLING YOU-- 117 00:06:03,104 --> 00:06:05,187 BUFFY... 118 00:06:05,187 --> 00:06:07,271 I BELIEVE THE SUBJECT HERE 119 00:06:07,271 --> 00:06:10,521 IS RAPIDLY BECOMING, UH, TEXT. 120 00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,438 ARE YOU SURE THERE'S NOTHING YOU WANT TO SHARE? 121 00:06:13,438 --> 00:06:15,563 NO. FORGET IT. 122 00:06:19,021 --> 00:06:21,688 THINK THERE'LL BE ANY MORE? I CAN WAIT. 123 00:06:23,021 --> 00:06:24,729 Buffy: IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD, 124 00:06:24,729 --> 00:06:25,938 THINGS WILL BECOME DIRE. 125 00:06:25,938 --> 00:06:28,271 DID YOU EVEN BOTHER TO TASTE THEM? NO! 126 00:06:28,271 --> 00:06:30,271 WELL, I DID, AND I'M HERE TO TELL YOU, 127 00:06:30,271 --> 00:06:32,688 THOSE MINI-PIZZAS HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE. 128 00:06:32,688 --> 00:06:34,604 TED IS THE MASTER CHEF. 129 00:06:34,604 --> 00:06:36,354 FINE. SO HE'S A GOOD COOK. 130 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,146 WHAT DOES THAT REALLY TELL YOU ABOUT A PERSON? 131 00:06:38,146 --> 00:06:39,229 EVERYTHING. 132 00:06:39,229 --> 00:06:40,229 YOU DON'T LIKE HIM? 133 00:06:40,229 --> 00:06:42,229 I DON'T KNOW HIM. 134 00:06:42,229 --> 00:06:45,187 SO FAR, ALL I SEE IS SOMEONE WHO APPARENTLY HAS A GOOD JOB, 135 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,855 SEEMS NICE AND POLITE, 136 00:06:46,855 --> 00:06:48,229 AND MY MOTHER REALLY LIKES HIM. 137 00:06:48,229 --> 00:06:49,771 WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER IS HE? 138 00:06:49,771 --> 00:06:51,813 I'M JUST SAYING, 139 00:06:51,813 --> 00:06:53,271 THERE'S SOMETHING A LITTLE TOO CLEAN ABOUT THIS CLOWN. 140 00:06:53,271 --> 00:06:55,187 HE'S A CLEAN CLOWN! 141 00:06:55,187 --> 00:06:57,312 I HAVE MY OWN FUN. 142 00:06:57,312 --> 00:06:58,813 BUFF, YOU'RE LACKING EVIDENCE. 143 00:06:58,813 --> 00:07:01,855 I THINK MAYBE WE'RE IN SIGMUND FREUD TERRITORY. 144 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,771 HE HAS A POINT: 145 00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,688 SEPARATION ANXIETY, THE MOTHER FIGURE BEING TAKEN AWAY, 146 00:07:05,688 --> 00:07:07,729 CONFLICT WITH THE FATHER FIGURE. 147 00:07:07,729 --> 00:07:09,104 HE'S NOT MY FATHER FIGURE. 148 00:07:09,104 --> 00:07:10,104 HAVING ISSUES MUCH? 149 00:07:10,104 --> 00:07:11,479 I AM NOT! 150 00:07:11,479 --> 00:07:12,813 ♪ YOU'RE HAVING PARENTAL ISSUES ♪ 151 00:07:12,813 --> 00:07:14,187 ♪ YOU'RE HAVING PARENTAL ISSUES ♪ 152 00:07:14,187 --> 00:07:15,729 XANDER... 153 00:07:15,729 --> 00:07:17,855 WHAT? FREUD WOULD'VE SAID THE EXACT SAME THING... 154 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:20,229 EXCEPT HE MIGHT NOT HAVE DONE THAT LITTLE DANCE. 155 00:07:20,229 --> 00:07:22,104 OK, I ADMIT IT'S WEIRD. 156 00:07:22,104 --> 00:07:23,896 SEEING MY MOTHER FRENCHING A GUY 157 00:07:23,896 --> 00:07:25,646 IS DEFINITELY A TICKET TO THERAPY LAND, 158 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,771 BUT IT'S MORE THAN THAT. 159 00:07:27,771 --> 00:07:29,646 I'M PRETTY GOOD AT SENSING WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND ME, 160 00:07:29,646 --> 00:07:31,146 AND THERE'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS...TED. 161 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,771 TED! 162 00:07:32,771 --> 00:07:33,771 OF COURSE TED. WHO'D YOU THINK I WAS TALKING ABOUT? 163 00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:35,021 HI, TED. 164 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,813 TED WHO'S HERE. HELLO, KIDS. 165 00:07:36,813 --> 00:07:38,563 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 166 00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:40,021 I'M UPDATING THE SOFTWARE IN THE GUIDANCE OFFICE. 167 00:07:40,021 --> 00:07:42,230 WHICH REMINDS ME-- YOUR UPGRADES. 168 00:07:42,230 --> 00:07:43,938 OH, WHAT A DAY! THANK YOU! 169 00:07:43,938 --> 00:07:45,521 THINK NOTHING OF IT. 170 00:07:45,521 --> 00:07:46,771 BUFFY, DO YOU LIKE MINIATURE GOLF? 171 00:07:46,771 --> 00:07:48,855 Xander: WHO DOESN'T? 172 00:07:48,855 --> 00:07:51,146 WELL, YOUR MOTHER AND I WERE THINKING MAYBE THIS SATURDAY 173 00:07:51,146 --> 00:07:54,187 WE COULD DRAG THE THREE OF YOU OUT TO THE COURSE, 174 00:07:54,187 --> 00:07:57,104 SPEND SOME TIME SWINGING THE IRON WITH THE STUFFY OLD PEOPLE. 175 00:07:57,104 --> 00:07:58,354 WELL... 176 00:07:58,354 --> 00:08:00,646 Ted: I'M MAKING A PICNIC BASKET. 177 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,563 WITH MINI-PIZZAS? 178 00:08:01,563 --> 00:08:03,688 AND COOKIES. 179 00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:06,104 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE WOULD LOVE TO, HONESTLY, 180 00:08:06,104 --> 00:08:08,354 BUT UNFORTUNATELY WE HAVE THAT THING ON SATURDAY. 181 00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:12,396 OH...THAT THING. THAT THING. 182 00:08:12,396 --> 00:08:14,521 HEY, WE CAN DO THAT THING ANYTIME. 183 00:08:14,521 --> 00:08:16,479 I'M TIRED OF DOING THAT THING. 184 00:08:16,479 --> 00:08:17,438 WE'RE ON. 185 00:08:17,438 --> 00:08:18,688 GREAT. 186 00:08:26,354 --> 00:08:27,896 HELLO, JENNY. 187 00:08:29,271 --> 00:08:30,563 RUPERT. 188 00:08:30,563 --> 00:08:31,729 HI. 189 00:08:31,729 --> 00:08:33,646 SOME OF YOUR TEXTBOOKS 190 00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:35,688 WERE DELIVERED TO THE LIBRARY. 191 00:08:35,688 --> 00:08:39,230 DO YOU WANT ME TO, UH, HANG ONTO THEM? 192 00:08:39,230 --> 00:08:40,604 YEAH, THAT'S FINE. 193 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,396 I'LL SEND THE KIDS BY TO PICK THEM UP. 194 00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:43,479 RIGHT. 195 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,646 GOOD. 196 00:08:45,646 --> 00:08:48,479 PRETTY FLIMSY EXCUSE FOR COMING BY TO SEE ME. 197 00:08:51,646 --> 00:08:54,521 YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD THE ONES I THREW OUT. 198 00:08:56,688 --> 00:08:59,146 I JUST WANTED TO, UH... 199 00:08:59,146 --> 00:09:00,604 SEE HOW YOU WERE DOING. 200 00:09:00,604 --> 00:09:03,104 I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD, ACTUALLY. 201 00:09:03,104 --> 00:09:06,855 STAYED OUT OF MORTAL DANGER FOR 3 WHOLE WEEKS. 202 00:09:06,855 --> 00:09:09,563 I COULD GET USED TO IT. 203 00:09:10,855 --> 00:09:12,688 STILL HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING, THOUGH. 204 00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,646 OH, OF COURSE. 205 00:09:14,646 --> 00:09:17,479 YOU KNOW, YOU NEED TIME. 206 00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:19,563 OR POSSIBLY SPACE. 207 00:09:19,563 --> 00:09:21,896 RUPERT, I KNOW YOU'RE CONCERNED, 208 00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:24,187 BUT HAVING YOU CONSTANTLY POKING AROUND, 209 00:09:24,187 --> 00:09:28,771 MAKING LITTLE PUPPY DOG EYES AT ME, WONDERING IF I'M OK, 210 00:09:28,771 --> 00:09:32,354 YOU MAKE ME FEEL BAD THAT I DON'T FEEL BETTER. 211 00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:35,479 I DON'T WANT THAT RESPONSIBILITY. 212 00:09:35,479 --> 00:09:37,604 I'M SORRY. 213 00:09:37,604 --> 00:09:39,312 I CERTAINLY DON'T MEAN 214 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:43,563 TO MAKE, UM, DOG EYES AT YOU, BUT I'M JUST... 215 00:09:43,563 --> 00:09:45,771 WORRIED. I KNOW. 216 00:09:45,771 --> 00:09:48,521 I SHOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED YOU. 217 00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:56,521 SO MOM'S LIKE, "DO YOU THINK TED WILL LIKE THIS?" 218 00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:57,646 AND "THIS IS TED'S FAVORITE SHOW," 219 00:09:57,646 --> 00:09:58,771 AND "TED'S TEACHING ME COMPUTERS," 220 00:09:58,771 --> 00:10:00,312 AND "TED SAID THE FUNNIEST THING," 221 00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:01,521 AND I'M LIKE, "THAT'S REALLY GREAT, MOM." 222 00:10:01,521 --> 00:10:03,688 AND THEN SHE SAID I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, 223 00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:05,521 WHICH I WAS, BUT I'M SORRY IF I DON'T TALK ABOUT TED ALL THE TIME. 224 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:08,604 SO ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE AT SOME POINT? 225 00:10:08,604 --> 00:10:10,271 I'M SORRY. 226 00:10:10,271 --> 00:10:12,187 I JUST HAVE SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH. 227 00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,229 I DON'T NEED SOME NEW GUY IN MY LIFE. 228 00:10:14,229 --> 00:10:17,396 NO, BUT MAYBE YOUR MOM DOES. 229 00:10:17,396 --> 00:10:20,479 WELL, SURE, IF YOU'RE GONNA USE WISDOM. 230 00:10:20,479 --> 00:10:23,396 LONELINESS IS ABOUT THE SCARIEST THING THERE IS. 231 00:10:23,396 --> 00:10:27,271 OK, SO MY MOM NEEDS A GUY IN HER LIFE. 232 00:10:27,271 --> 00:10:29,229 DOES IT HAVE TO BE TED? 233 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,354 YOU HAVE SOMEBODY ELSE IN MIND? 234 00:10:31,354 --> 00:10:33,813 THERE'S A GUY OUT THERE THAT WOULD SATISFY YOU? 235 00:10:33,813 --> 00:10:35,729 MY DAD. 236 00:10:37,479 --> 00:10:40,354 YEAH. OK, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 237 00:10:40,354 --> 00:10:43,688 FINE, FINE. I'LL GIVE TED A CHANCE. 238 00:10:43,688 --> 00:10:45,646 I'LL PLAY MINI-GOLF, 239 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:49,521 AND I'LL SMILE AND CURTSY AND BE THE DUTIFUL DAUGHTER. 240 00:10:49,521 --> 00:10:51,104 DO I HAVE TO LIKE HIM? 241 00:10:52,187 --> 00:10:53,813 KISS ME. 242 00:10:53,813 --> 00:10:56,187 FINALLY, SOMETHING I WANT TO DO. 243 00:11:01,354 --> 00:11:04,604 AH! THE DREADED 5-PAR CUCKOO CLOCK. 244 00:11:04,604 --> 00:11:05,646 HAH! 245 00:11:05,646 --> 00:11:07,187 SO MANY HAVE COME. 246 00:11:07,187 --> 00:11:09,688 SO FEW HAVE CONQUERED. 247 00:11:09,688 --> 00:11:11,938 OH, THAT PICNIC WAS DELICIOUS. 248 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,479 YOU KNOW HOW RARE IT IS TO FIND A MAN THAT COOKS? 249 00:11:14,479 --> 00:11:17,855 I KNOW I'VE BEEN LOOKING A LONG TIME FOR ONE. 250 00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:19,604 SO, BUFFY, 251 00:11:19,604 --> 00:11:21,354 I BET THE BOYS ARE LINED UP AROUND THE BLOCK, 252 00:11:21,354 --> 00:11:22,688 TRYING TO GET A DATE WITH YOU. 253 00:11:22,688 --> 00:11:24,438 NOT REALLY. 254 00:11:24,438 --> 00:11:26,771 OH, THEY ARE, BUT SHE'S ONLY INTERESTED IN-- 255 00:11:26,771 --> 00:11:28,438 UH, HER STUDIES. 256 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,146 "BOOK-CRACKER BUFFY." 257 00:11:30,146 --> 00:11:32,354 IT'S KIND OF HER NICKNAME. 258 00:11:32,354 --> 00:11:34,187 Ted: GLAD TO HEAR IT. 259 00:11:34,187 --> 00:11:37,271 I BET THAT MEANS YOUR GRADES WILL BE PICKING UP SOON. 260 00:11:37,271 --> 00:11:39,604 MY GRADES? 261 00:11:40,604 --> 00:11:42,146 HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT MY GRADES? 262 00:11:42,146 --> 00:11:43,688 I TOLD HIM. 263 00:11:43,688 --> 00:11:45,688 HE WANTS TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. 264 00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:48,187 HE'S CONCERNED. THAT'S A GOOD THING. 265 00:11:48,187 --> 00:11:49,521 OH, NICE SHOT, TED. 266 00:11:51,104 --> 00:11:52,354 KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL. 267 00:11:52,354 --> 00:11:53,521 WATCH THOSE ELBOWS. 268 00:11:55,646 --> 00:11:58,563 Ted: OHH! BAD LUCK, LITTLE LADY. 269 00:11:59,604 --> 00:12:01,229 OH, WE WON'T COUNT IT. 270 00:12:01,229 --> 00:12:02,354 Ted: WE WON'T? 271 00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:03,563 IT'S JUST MINIATURE GOLF. 272 00:12:03,563 --> 00:12:05,729 IT IS, BUT THE RULES ARE THE RULES, 273 00:12:05,729 --> 00:12:08,104 AND WHAT WE TEACH HER IS WHAT SHE TAKES OUT 274 00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:10,187 INTO THE WORLD WHEN WE'RE NOT THERE, 275 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,062 WHETHER IT'S AT SCHOOL OR AN UNCHAPERONED PARTY. 276 00:12:13,062 --> 00:12:15,688 I DON'T MEAN TO OVERSTEP MY BOUNDS. 277 00:12:15,688 --> 00:12:18,271 THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MOTHER. 278 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,062 I JUST THINK RIGHT IS RIGHT. 279 00:12:23,146 --> 00:12:24,813 HE HAS A POINT. 280 00:12:24,813 --> 00:12:28,521 FINE. I'LL JUST GO HIT MY BALL FROM THE ROUGH. 281 00:12:43,688 --> 00:12:46,438 HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT?! I GOT A HOLE IN 2! 282 00:12:46,438 --> 00:12:48,688 BEG TO DIFFER. 283 00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:53,521 OK, SO FINE MY SCORE OR WHATEVER. 284 00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:56,563 I THINK YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT HERE, LITTLE LADY. 285 00:12:56,563 --> 00:12:58,938 RIGHT IS RIGHT. WRONG IS WRONG. 286 00:12:58,938 --> 00:13:00,896 WHY DON'T PEOPLE SEE THAT? 287 00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:02,813 IT'S JUST A GAME? 288 00:13:02,813 --> 00:13:04,855 RIGHT. IT'S JUST A GAME, DO YOUR OWN THING. 289 00:13:04,855 --> 00:13:06,646 WELL, I'M NOT WIRED THAT WAY, 290 00:13:06,646 --> 00:13:10,938 AND I'M HERE TO TELL YOU IT IS NOT A GAME, 291 00:13:10,938 --> 00:13:12,688 IT DOES COUNT, 292 00:13:12,688 --> 00:13:15,438 AND I DON'T STAND FOR THAT KIND OF MALARKEY IN MY HOUSE. 293 00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:18,146 THEN I GUESS IT'S A GOOD THING I'M NOT IN YOUR HOUSE. 294 00:13:18,146 --> 00:13:21,980 DO YOU WANT ME TO SLAP THAT SMART-ASS MOUTH OF YOURS? 295 00:13:23,229 --> 00:13:24,771 WHO'S UP FOR DESSERT? 296 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,438 I MADE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. 297 00:13:27,438 --> 00:13:28,896 YUM-MY! 298 00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:29,980 COOKIES! 299 00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:32,187 YEAH. I MADE TOO MANY, 300 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,855 SO YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE SOME HOME. 301 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,271 MMM! BUFFY, YOU'VE GOT TO TRY ONE OF THESE. 302 00:13:37,271 --> 00:13:38,646 THEY'RE REALLY GOOD. 303 00:13:38,646 --> 00:13:39,980 OHH! MMM! 304 00:13:50,354 --> 00:13:52,271 [JOYCE HUMMING] 305 00:13:53,855 --> 00:13:55,563 GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE. 306 00:13:55,563 --> 00:13:56,855 HI. 307 00:13:56,855 --> 00:13:59,062 I'VE GOT JUICE. I'VE GOT STICKY BUNS-- 308 00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:00,521 OH! DON'T THEY SMELL GOOD? 309 00:14:00,521 --> 00:14:02,021 TED MADE THEM. 310 00:14:03,271 --> 00:14:04,438 WHAT? 311 00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,813 I'D JUST LIKE TO EAT SOMETHING AROUND HERE 312 00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:08,813 THAT TED DIDN'T MAKE. 313 00:14:08,813 --> 00:14:11,312 WHAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE IS THAT? 314 00:14:11,312 --> 00:14:13,187 LOOK, MOM, I KNOW YOU THINK HE'S GREAT AND ALL-- 315 00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,229 YOU KNOW, HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE NICE TO YOU, 316 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,438 AND YOU COULDN'T SAY TWO WORDS TO HIM ON SATURDAY. 317 00:14:17,438 --> 00:14:20,354 I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO LOVE HIM RIGHT AWAY LIKE I DO, 318 00:14:20,354 --> 00:14:22,104 BUT I DO EXPECT YOU TO TREAT HIM DECENTLY. 319 00:14:22,104 --> 00:14:23,896 YOU LOVE HIM? 320 00:14:26,104 --> 00:14:27,771 I--I DON'T KNOW. 321 00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:31,312 THAT JUST SLIPPED OUT. 322 00:14:31,312 --> 00:14:33,479 BUT I GUESS. 323 00:14:33,479 --> 00:14:35,563 I MEAN, IT'S NOT EXACTLY LIKE MEN BEAT DOWN THE DOOR WHEN YOU'RE-- 324 00:14:35,563 --> 00:14:37,062 A SINGLE PARENT. 325 00:14:38,729 --> 00:14:41,146 HONEY, LOOK, I WOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANYBODY 326 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,479 IF THEY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT HE DOES. 327 00:14:43,479 --> 00:14:45,396 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN'T SEE THAT. 328 00:14:45,396 --> 00:14:47,980 HE THREATENED ME. 329 00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:49,771 WHAT? 330 00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:53,479 HE THREATENED ME. 331 00:14:53,479 --> 00:14:56,521 HE SAID THAT HE WAS GONNA SLAP MY FACE. 332 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,187 HE SAID NO SUCH THING. 333 00:14:58,187 --> 00:15:00,479 HONEY, TED TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED. 334 00:15:00,479 --> 00:15:03,563 HE CAUGHT YOU CHEATING, DIDN'T HE? 335 00:15:03,563 --> 00:15:05,146 YEAH. I KICKED MY BALL IN. 336 00:15:05,146 --> 00:15:07,604 PUT ME IN JAIL, BUT HE TOTALLY WIGGED. 337 00:15:07,604 --> 00:15:08,688 AND HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT 338 00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:10,146 IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS, DID HE? 339 00:15:10,146 --> 00:15:11,563 N-NO, BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S-- 340 00:15:11,563 --> 00:15:13,479 I THINK THAT WAS REALLY DECENT OF HIM. 341 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:17,855 TED SAID WE ARE JUST GONNA HAVE TO GIVE YOU TIME TO COME AROUND. 342 00:15:17,855 --> 00:15:20,604 OH, SPEAKING OF WHICH, HE'S MAKING DINNER FOR US TONIGHT, 343 00:15:20,604 --> 00:15:23,521 SO I'D LIKE YOU HOME, PLEASE, PROMPTLY AT 6:00. 344 00:15:29,146 --> 00:15:31,646 MMM...MMM! 345 00:15:31,646 --> 00:15:32,938 THIS IS SO DELICIOUS. 346 00:15:32,938 --> 00:15:34,646 Willow: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, CHECK HIM OUT? 347 00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:36,312 I MEAN, INVESTIGATE HIM-- 348 00:15:36,312 --> 00:15:38,229 FIND OUT HIS SECRETS, HACK INTO HIS LIFE. 349 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,771 CAN YOU SAY "OVERREACTION"? 350 00:15:39,771 --> 00:15:41,896 CAN YOU SAY "SUCKING CHEST WOUND"? 351 00:15:41,896 --> 00:15:45,187 BUFFY, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE YOU WANT HIM TO BE CORRUPT OR SOMETHING. 352 00:15:45,187 --> 00:15:48,146 THE GUY LOST HIS SENSES OVER MINI-GOLF. 353 00:15:48,146 --> 00:15:49,646 SO HE'S A LITTLE UPTIGHT. 354 00:15:49,646 --> 00:15:52,146 LAST I HEARD, THAT'S NOT A SLAYING OFFENSE. 355 00:15:52,146 --> 00:15:54,729 DON'T GIVE ME THE LOOK. I'M ON YOUR SIDE. 356 00:15:54,729 --> 00:15:56,646 I'M JUST SAYING THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT. 357 00:15:56,646 --> 00:15:58,187 AND I'M SAYING TED AIN'T ONE OF THEM. 358 00:15:58,187 --> 00:16:00,855 HEY, CORDY, NICE OUTFIT. 359 00:16:00,855 --> 00:16:02,521 OH, VERY FUNNY. 360 00:16:02,521 --> 00:16:03,813 NOT REALLY. 361 00:16:03,813 --> 00:16:04,813 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! 362 00:16:06,396 --> 00:16:08,438 NICE OUTFIT? 363 00:16:08,438 --> 00:16:10,938 WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. 364 00:16:10,938 --> 00:16:13,230 WOULD YOU GUYS EXCUSE ME FOR A SEC? 365 00:16:14,187 --> 00:16:15,855 WHAT'S UP WITH THEM? 366 00:16:17,896 --> 00:16:18,896 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 367 00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,271 I GAVE YOU A COMPLIMENT. 368 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,312 IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS. 369 00:16:21,312 --> 00:16:22,354 THEY'RE GONNA KNOW! 370 00:16:22,354 --> 00:16:24,230 KNOW WHAT? 371 00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:26,855 PLEASE! IT'S TOO TRAUMATIC FOR ME TO EVEN SAY IT. 372 00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,230 THAT WE KISSED? 373 00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:29,896 UGH! 374 00:16:29,896 --> 00:16:32,563 LOOK, I'M NOT GONNA TELL. THEY'RE NOT GONNA KNOW-- 375 00:16:32,563 --> 00:16:36,312 NOT YOUR FRIENDS, NOT MY FRIENDS. 376 00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:38,229 YOU WANT TO GO TO THE UTILITY CLOSET AND MAKE OUT? 377 00:16:38,229 --> 00:16:40,187 GOD! IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT?! 378 00:16:42,563 --> 00:16:44,604 OK. 379 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,312 WILL, I'M NOT WRONG HERE. 380 00:16:46,312 --> 00:16:47,688 TED HAS A PROBLEM WITH ME. 381 00:16:47,688 --> 00:16:49,604 HE ACTS LIKE I'M IN THE WAY OR SOMETHING. 382 00:16:49,604 --> 00:16:51,771 AND MOM'S BEEN TOTALLY DIFFERENT SINCE HE'S AROUND. 383 00:16:51,771 --> 00:16:53,354 DIFFERENT LIKE HAPPY? 384 00:16:53,354 --> 00:16:54,479 LIKE STEPFORD. 385 00:16:54,479 --> 00:16:55,729 WILL YOU HELP ME? 386 00:16:55,729 --> 00:16:57,312 YOU KNOW I WILL. 387 00:16:57,312 --> 00:16:58,563 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO LOOK FOR? 388 00:16:58,563 --> 00:16:59,855 LET'S START SMALL. 389 00:16:59,855 --> 00:17:02,229 CAN YOU FIND OUT WHERE HE WORKS? 390 00:17:07,563 --> 00:17:09,563 YEAH, IT'S A TERRIFIC PRODUCT. 391 00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:11,646 NO PC SHOULD BE WITHOUT IT. 392 00:17:11,646 --> 00:17:16,521 NO, MRS. LAWNSDALE, IT IS NOT AN INEXPENSIVE PIECE OF SOFTWARE. 393 00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:19,604 AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT'S A VERY EXPENSIVE ONE, 394 00:17:19,604 --> 00:17:22,438 WHICH REMOVES THE RISK OF CRASHING YOUR WHOLE SYSTEM. 395 00:17:22,438 --> 00:17:24,646 OF COURSE, IF YOU PREFER SOMETHING CHEAP, 396 00:17:24,646 --> 00:17:27,146 I CAN ALWAYS RECOMMEND-- 397 00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:29,813 TRUST ME. YOU WON'T BE SORRY. 398 00:17:29,813 --> 00:17:32,230 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 399 00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:44,604 GOIN' TO LUNCH. 400 00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,688 YOU'RE NEW, AREN'T YA? 401 00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:53,771 OH-- I'M NEAL. 402 00:17:53,771 --> 00:17:55,980 I'M BU--LINDA. 403 00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:59,729 BELINDA. I'M JUST TEMPING FOR THE DAY. 404 00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:01,187 WOW. THAT GUY'S A SALESMAN. 405 00:18:01,187 --> 00:18:03,479 I GUESS HE'S THE ONE TO BEAT AROUND HERE. 406 00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:04,688 NOBODY BEATS THE MACHINE. 407 00:18:04,688 --> 00:18:06,646 THE GUY IS A GENIUS. 408 00:18:06,646 --> 00:18:09,604 KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS, NEVER LOSES A CLIENT. 409 00:18:09,604 --> 00:18:12,312 IF I SOUND BITTER, I AM. 410 00:18:12,312 --> 00:18:14,563 WELL, NOBODY LIKES AN OVERACHIEVER. 411 00:18:14,563 --> 00:18:17,604 HE'S PROBABLY GOT EX-WIVES AND FAMILIES TO SUPPORT. 412 00:18:17,604 --> 00:18:19,187 HE'S JUST GOT A GIRLFRIEND. 413 00:18:19,187 --> 00:18:22,354 I'M AMAZED HE LET HER CLUTTER HIS DESK. 414 00:18:22,354 --> 00:18:26,230 THANK GOD HE'S TAKING OFF FOR THE WEDDING. 415 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,354 THE WEDDING? 416 00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:29,896 YEAH, HE'S GOT IT SET FOR 2 MONTHS FROM NOW. 417 00:18:29,896 --> 00:18:33,062 BELIEVE ME, I AM COUNTING THE DAYS. 418 00:18:33,062 --> 00:18:35,271 UH-OH. THE UBER-BOSS. 419 00:18:35,271 --> 00:18:37,354 BACK TO THE SALT MINES. 420 00:19:11,021 --> 00:19:14,271 Ted: WE THANK YOU FOR WHAT WE ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE, 421 00:19:14,271 --> 00:19:17,438 AND WE ASK THAT YOU BLESS THIS HOUSE 422 00:19:17,438 --> 00:19:22,479 AND HELP THE PEOPLE IN IT TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE, MORE CONSIDERATE... 423 00:19:22,479 --> 00:19:24,646 AND MORE HONEST. 424 00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,354 AMEN. 425 00:19:26,354 --> 00:19:28,188 Joyce: AMEN. 426 00:19:28,188 --> 00:19:30,396 WELL, ANOTHER GREAT DAY AT WORK. 427 00:19:30,396 --> 00:19:32,146 HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY, BUFFY? 428 00:19:32,146 --> 00:19:33,146 DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING? 429 00:19:33,146 --> 00:19:34,688 QUITE A BIT. 430 00:19:34,688 --> 00:19:35,855 GOOD FOR YOU. 431 00:19:35,855 --> 00:19:38,021 WELL, JOYCEE, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 432 00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:40,312 I THINK EVERY HOME SHOULD HAVE ONE OF YOU. 433 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:41,646 IT'S FANTASTIC. 434 00:19:41,646 --> 00:19:42,729 DON'T YOU THINK? 435 00:19:45,479 --> 00:19:47,230 LOOKS GOOD. 436 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:48,146 WELL, YOU KNOW, LITTLE LADY, 437 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,521 IT'S NOT JUST FOR LOOKS. 438 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,229 IT'S FOR BUILDING STRONG BODIES. 439 00:19:54,354 --> 00:19:56,062 HONEY? 440 00:19:58,354 --> 00:20:01,146 ARE YOU TWO ENGAGED? 441 00:20:01,146 --> 00:20:03,062 GOODNESS, NO! WHATEVER GAVE YOU THAT IDEA? 442 00:20:03,062 --> 00:20:05,938 NOW, JOYCEE, LET ME HANDLE THIS. 443 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:09,813 BUFFY, YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE TAKING IT ONE STEP AT A TIME. 444 00:20:09,813 --> 00:20:11,646 AND IF THINGS GO THE WAY I HOPE, 445 00:20:11,646 --> 00:20:14,312 MAYBE SOMEDAY SOON, 446 00:20:14,312 --> 00:20:17,521 I JUST MIGHT ASK HER TO TIE THE KNOT. 447 00:20:18,855 --> 00:20:22,396 HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 448 00:20:22,396 --> 00:20:24,896 IT'S OK TO HAVE FEELINGS, BUFFY, 449 00:20:24,896 --> 00:20:27,521 AND IT'S OK TO EXPRESS THEM. 450 00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:29,729 I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF. 451 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,104 BUFFY! 452 00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:33,021 NO, NO. I TOLD HER TO BE HONEST. 453 00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:36,563 SWEETHEART, YOU SHOULD TRY AND GET USED TO ME 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? 454 00:20:36,563 --> 00:20:38,855 I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 455 00:20:38,855 --> 00:20:41,396 MAY I BE EXCUSED? 456 00:20:41,396 --> 00:20:42,938 YOU CAN GO TO YOUR ROOM, YOUNG LADY. 457 00:20:42,938 --> 00:20:44,229 THAT'S WHERE YOU CAN GO. 458 00:20:50,479 --> 00:20:53,521 TED, I--I AM SO EMBARRASSED. 459 00:20:53,521 --> 00:20:54,771 I--I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER. 460 00:20:54,771 --> 00:20:56,271 JOYCE... 461 00:20:56,271 --> 00:20:58,438 YOU DON'T GET TO BE SALESMAN OF THE YEAR 462 00:20:58,438 --> 00:21:00,604 BY GIVING UP AFTER A COUPLE OF REJECTIONS. 463 00:21:00,604 --> 00:21:02,479 SHE'LL COME AROUND. 464 00:21:19,104 --> 00:21:22,271 VAMPIRES. 465 00:21:22,271 --> 00:21:23,980 HERE, VAMPIRES. 466 00:21:36,146 --> 00:21:37,563 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? 467 00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,438 YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU TO GO TO YOUR ROOM, BUFFY. 468 00:21:39,438 --> 00:21:42,604 YOU AND I BOTH KNOW SHE DIDN'T MEAN CLIMB OUT A WINDOW 469 00:21:42,604 --> 00:21:44,396 AND GO GALLIVANTING ABOUT TOWN. 470 00:21:44,396 --> 00:21:46,980 FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS MY ROOM. SECOND-- 471 00:21:46,980 --> 00:21:48,229 YOU'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH MY THINGS? 472 00:21:48,229 --> 00:21:49,896 YES, I HAVE. 473 00:21:49,896 --> 00:21:51,771 THAT'S MY PERSONAL PROPERTY. HOW DARE YOU! 474 00:21:51,771 --> 00:21:53,521 I DON'T SEE HOW IT'S ANY DIFFERENT 475 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:57,062 FROM YOU SNOOPING AROUND MY OFFICE. DO YOU? 476 00:21:57,062 --> 00:22:00,229 WHAT EXACTLY IS A VAMPIRE SLAYER? 477 00:22:00,229 --> 00:22:01,855 THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 478 00:22:01,855 --> 00:22:03,688 BEG TO DIFFER, LITTLE LADY. 479 00:22:03,688 --> 00:22:08,021 EVERYTHING YOU DO IS NOTHING BUT MY BUSINESS FROM NOW ON. 480 00:22:08,021 --> 00:22:09,646 I THINK YOU'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE, NOW! 481 00:22:09,646 --> 00:22:11,396 OR WHAT? 482 00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:13,813 YOU'LL SLAY ME? 483 00:22:13,813 --> 00:22:15,563 I'M REAL. 484 00:22:15,563 --> 00:22:19,312 I'M NOT SOME GOBLIN YOU MADE UP IN YOUR LITTLE DIARY. 485 00:22:19,312 --> 00:22:21,271 PSYCHIATRISTS HAVE A WORD FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 486 00:22:21,271 --> 00:22:22,855 DELUSIONAL. 487 00:22:22,855 --> 00:22:25,813 SO FROM NOW ON, YOU'LL DO WHAT I SAY WHEN I SAY, 488 00:22:25,813 --> 00:22:29,021 OR I SHOW THIS TO YOUR MOTHER. 489 00:22:29,021 --> 00:22:30,980 THEN YOU'LL SPEND YOUR BEST DATING YEARS 490 00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:33,271 BEHIND THE WALL OF A MENTAL INSTITUTION. 491 00:22:33,271 --> 00:22:35,312 YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE GOING TO BE HAPPY. 492 00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:38,187 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STAND IN THE WAY. 493 00:22:38,187 --> 00:22:40,604 SLEEP TIGHT. 494 00:22:40,604 --> 00:22:44,688 THAT'S MINE, AND YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THIS ROOM WITH IT. 495 00:22:44,688 --> 00:22:46,980 TAKE YOUR HAND OFF ME. 496 00:22:46,980 --> 00:22:49,271 NO. 497 00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:55,729 I WAS SO HOPING YOU'D DO THAT. 498 00:23:04,146 --> 00:23:05,688 BUFFY! STOP THAT! 499 00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:06,938 STOP IT! 500 00:23:06,938 --> 00:23:08,021 OOH! 501 00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:19,438 TED! 502 00:23:19,438 --> 00:23:21,521 TED. 503 00:23:21,521 --> 00:23:23,062 TED! 504 00:23:30,271 --> 00:23:32,104 YOU KILLED HIM. 505 00:24:03,688 --> 00:24:06,688 MA'AM, I'M DETECTIVE STEIN. 506 00:24:06,688 --> 00:24:09,354 I'M SORRY, BUT I NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS. 507 00:24:09,354 --> 00:24:11,646 YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DECEASED? 508 00:24:11,646 --> 00:24:14,230 WE WERE, UM, SEEING EACH OTHER. 509 00:24:14,230 --> 00:24:16,563 CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED? 510 00:24:16,563 --> 00:24:17,813 HE FELL. 511 00:24:17,813 --> 00:24:21,312 DOWN THE STAIRS. HE FELL. 512 00:24:21,312 --> 00:24:23,396 I SEE. UH, DID HE SLIP? 513 00:24:23,396 --> 00:24:24,813 DO YOU KNOW WHAT MADE HIM FALL? 514 00:24:24,813 --> 00:24:27,062 Buffy: I HIT HIM. 515 00:24:29,646 --> 00:24:31,646 I HIT HIM. 516 00:24:48,938 --> 00:24:52,187 HE WAS IN MY ROOM... 517 00:24:52,187 --> 00:24:54,312 AND WE GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT. 518 00:24:54,312 --> 00:24:55,438 ABOUT WHAT? 519 00:24:58,104 --> 00:24:59,354 HE, UM... 520 00:24:59,354 --> 00:25:01,229 WAS THIS THE FIRST TIME 521 00:25:01,229 --> 00:25:03,646 THAT YOU TWO HAD HAD AN ARGUMENT? 522 00:25:05,479 --> 00:25:06,479 NO. 523 00:25:08,396 --> 00:25:09,563 HE THREATENED ME. 524 00:25:09,563 --> 00:25:11,563 HE SAID THAT HE WOULD SLAP ME. 525 00:25:11,563 --> 00:25:12,521 THAT WAS TONIGHT? 526 00:25:12,521 --> 00:25:15,771 NO. BUT HE HAD MY DIARY, 527 00:25:15,771 --> 00:25:18,230 AND I TRIED TO TAKE IT BACK, 528 00:25:18,230 --> 00:25:20,062 AND THAT'S WHEN HE HIT ME. 529 00:25:20,062 --> 00:25:21,938 WHERE? 530 00:25:24,563 --> 00:25:28,062 WELL... IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE HIT YOU VERY HARD. 531 00:25:28,062 --> 00:25:30,312 I DON'T BRUISE EASILY. 532 00:25:30,312 --> 00:25:32,187 SO YOU'VE BEEN HIT BEFORE? 533 00:25:32,187 --> 00:25:33,354 YES. 534 00:25:33,354 --> 00:25:35,312 BUT TED NEVER HIT YOU. 535 00:25:35,312 --> 00:25:37,062 I TOLD YOU-- BEFORE TONIGHT. 536 00:25:37,062 --> 00:25:38,688 TED NEVER HIT YOU BEFORE TONIGHT. 537 00:25:38,688 --> 00:25:39,688 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 538 00:25:39,688 --> 00:25:41,646 I--I TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED. 539 00:25:41,646 --> 00:25:42,646 I DIDN'T MEAN TO-- 540 00:25:42,646 --> 00:25:43,771 I BELIEVE YOU. 541 00:25:43,771 --> 00:25:45,021 THINGS GOT OUT OF HAND. 542 00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:47,021 HE'S A BIG GUY. 543 00:25:51,396 --> 00:25:53,396 Joyce: ARE YOU CHARGING HER WITH SOMETHING? 544 00:25:53,396 --> 00:25:55,604 WE'RE NOT BRINGING ANYTHING UP AGAINST YOUR DAUGHTER RIGHT NOW. 545 00:25:55,604 --> 00:25:58,604 SHE SAYS MR. BUCHANAN STRUCK HER, AND IF THAT'S THE CASE... 546 00:25:58,604 --> 00:26:01,104 ANYWAY...WE'VE GOT TO EXAMINE IT FURTHER. 547 00:26:01,104 --> 00:26:03,396 RIGHT NOW I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE HER HOME, 548 00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:07,188 AND THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD TRY AND GET SOME REST. 549 00:26:46,312 --> 00:26:47,563 BUFFY. 550 00:26:49,354 --> 00:26:50,896 ARE YOU OK? 551 00:26:50,896 --> 00:26:52,146 HOW COME YOU'RE HERE? 552 00:26:52,146 --> 00:26:53,813 I COULDN'T STAY AT HOME. 553 00:26:53,813 --> 00:26:56,312 MOM WON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME. 554 00:26:56,312 --> 00:26:57,896 WHAT HAPPENED? 555 00:26:57,896 --> 00:27:00,021 UNLESS YOU DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. 556 00:27:01,771 --> 00:27:04,104 WE HAD A FIGHT, AND I LOST MY TEMPER. 557 00:27:04,104 --> 00:27:06,104 I REALLY LET HIM HAVE IT. 558 00:27:06,104 --> 00:27:08,646 THE PAPER SAID HE FELL. 559 00:27:08,646 --> 00:27:11,187 HE FELL...HARD. 560 00:27:11,187 --> 00:27:13,396 WHAT WAS HE? 561 00:27:13,396 --> 00:27:14,563 WHAT? 562 00:27:14,563 --> 00:27:17,104 WHAT WAS HE-- A DEMON, A GIANT BUG, 563 00:27:17,104 --> 00:27:19,688 SOME KIND OF DARK GOD WITH THE SECRETS OF NOUVELLE CUISINE? 564 00:27:19,688 --> 00:27:22,563 I MEAN, WE ARE TALKING CREATURE FEATURE HERE, RIGHT? 565 00:27:24,021 --> 00:27:26,354 OH, MAN. 566 00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:27,938 BUT I'M SURE IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. 567 00:27:27,938 --> 00:27:30,604 HE STARTED IT. 568 00:27:30,604 --> 00:27:32,646 YEAH. THAT DEFENSE ONLY WORKS 569 00:27:32,646 --> 00:27:34,771 IN 6-YEAR-OLD COURT, WILL. 570 00:27:34,771 --> 00:27:37,771 COURT? WH-WHAT, ARE THEY CHARGING YOU WITH SOMETHING? 571 00:27:37,771 --> 00:27:39,354 I--I DON'T KNOW. 572 00:27:39,354 --> 00:27:42,104 I--NOT YET. 573 00:27:45,146 --> 00:27:47,896 HE WAS A PERSON... 574 00:27:47,896 --> 00:27:49,229 AND I KILLED HIM. 575 00:27:49,229 --> 00:27:50,479 DON'T SAY THAT. 576 00:27:50,479 --> 00:27:51,604 WHY NOT? 577 00:27:51,604 --> 00:27:54,229 EVERYONE ELSE IS. 578 00:27:54,229 --> 00:27:55,396 AND IT'S THE TRUTH. 579 00:27:55,396 --> 00:27:57,229 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 580 00:27:57,229 --> 00:27:58,563 I'M THE SLAYER. 581 00:27:58,563 --> 00:28:00,771 I HAD NO RIGHT TO HIT HIM LIKE THAT. 582 00:28:00,771 --> 00:28:03,188 LOOK, BUFFY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED EXACTLY. 583 00:28:03,188 --> 00:28:04,563 BUT I DO KNOW YOU. 584 00:28:04,563 --> 00:28:07,230 AND I KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER HURT ANYONE INTENTIONALLY. 585 00:28:07,230 --> 00:28:08,604 WELL, YOU KNOW, UNLESS-- 586 00:28:08,604 --> 00:28:10,813 UNLESS...THEY WERE DATING MY MOTHER? 587 00:28:13,188 --> 00:28:14,229 I GOTTA GO. 588 00:28:28,104 --> 00:28:29,187 BUFFY? 589 00:28:32,354 --> 00:28:34,563 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 590 00:28:34,563 --> 00:28:36,896 STUPID QUESTION. I'M SORRY. 591 00:28:36,896 --> 00:28:39,271 IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU NEED, OF COURSE, JUST ASK. 592 00:28:39,271 --> 00:28:41,062 WHAT'S GOING ON? 593 00:28:42,354 --> 00:28:44,396 OH, YOU NEEDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. 594 00:28:44,396 --> 00:28:46,479 THEY'RE--THEY'RE JUST ASKING A FEW QUESTIONS. 595 00:28:46,479 --> 00:28:51,062 YOUR BEHAVIOR. UM...UM... 596 00:28:53,021 --> 00:28:55,938 OF COURSE I TOLD THEM YOU WERE... 597 00:28:59,604 --> 00:29:01,062 MAN, THIS IS KILLING ME! 598 00:29:01,062 --> 00:29:04,021 THAT BASTARD WAS UP TO SOMETHING. I KNOW IT. 599 00:29:04,021 --> 00:29:06,187 IF I COULD JUST GET MY HANDS ON HIM... EARLIER THIS WEEK. 600 00:29:06,187 --> 00:29:08,354 I THOUGHT YOU LIKED HIM. 601 00:29:08,354 --> 00:29:10,688 I SOMETIMES LIKE THINGS THAT ARE NOT GOOD FOR ME. 602 00:29:10,688 --> 00:29:14,146 BESIDES, NO WAY NO HOW DOES BUFFY PUT THE BIG HURT ON AN INNOCENT MAN. 603 00:29:14,146 --> 00:29:15,521 NICE UNCLE TED WAS DIRTY. 604 00:29:15,521 --> 00:29:17,104 WE'VE GOT TO PROVE THAT SOMEHOW. 605 00:29:17,104 --> 00:29:19,521 XANDER, DO YOU HAVE A PEN? 606 00:29:19,521 --> 00:29:21,855 IF BUFFY HAS TO GO TO JAIL BECAUSE OF THAT CREEP, 607 00:29:21,855 --> 00:29:23,146 I'M GONNA LOSE IT. 608 00:29:23,146 --> 00:29:24,855 HE'S GOTTA BE IN THERE, WILL-- 609 00:29:24,855 --> 00:29:26,479 HISTORY OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, CRIMINAL RECORD. 610 00:29:26,479 --> 00:29:28,230 OOH! COOKIES. 611 00:29:28,230 --> 00:29:29,354 I DON'T GET IT. 612 00:29:29,354 --> 00:29:30,896 BUFFY'S THE SLAYER. SHOULDN'T SHE HAVE-- 613 00:29:30,896 --> 00:29:32,396 WHAT, A LICENSE TO KILL? 614 00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:33,813 WELL, NOT FOR FUN. 615 00:29:33,813 --> 00:29:35,146 BUT SHE'S, LIKE, THIS SUPERMAN. 616 00:29:35,146 --> 00:29:36,271 SHOULDN'T THERE BE DIFFERENT RULES FOR HER? 617 00:29:36,271 --> 00:29:38,062 SURE, IN A FASCIST SOCIETY. 618 00:29:38,062 --> 00:29:40,230 RIGHT! WHY CAN'T WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE? 619 00:29:40,230 --> 00:29:41,896 BUFFY'S NOT GOING TO JAIL. 620 00:29:41,896 --> 00:29:43,688 IT'S NOT FAIR. 621 00:29:43,688 --> 00:29:45,813 WHATEVER THE AUTHORITIES HAVE PLANNED FOR HER, 622 00:29:45,813 --> 00:29:48,271 IT CAN'T BE MUCH WORSE THAN WHAT SHE'S DOING TO HERSELF. 623 00:29:48,271 --> 00:29:50,271 SHE'S TAKEN A HUMAN LIFE. 624 00:29:50,271 --> 00:29:52,813 THE GUILT, IT'S--IT'S PRETTY HARD TO BEAR. 625 00:29:52,813 --> 00:29:53,813 IT WON'T GO AWAY SOON. 626 00:29:53,813 --> 00:29:55,062 I GUESS YOU SHOULD KNOW, 627 00:29:55,062 --> 00:29:56,396 SINCE YOU HELPED RAISE THAT DEMON 628 00:29:56,396 --> 00:29:57,521 THAT KILLED THAT GUY THAT TIME. 629 00:29:57,521 --> 00:29:59,062 YES. 630 00:29:59,062 --> 00:30:01,354 DO LET'S BRING THAT UP AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. 631 00:30:01,354 --> 00:30:03,729 SO, GILES, YOU TAKIN' OVER TONIGHT? 632 00:30:03,729 --> 00:30:06,521 UM, WELL, BUFFY'S NOT IN ANY SHAPE TO PATROL. 633 00:30:06,521 --> 00:30:09,771 THE LEAST I CAN DO IS PICK UP THE SLACK. SOMEONE HAS TO. 634 00:30:09,771 --> 00:30:12,062 GILES, YOU SHOULDN'T GO OUT THERE WITHOUT THE SLAYER. 635 00:30:12,062 --> 00:30:15,354 UNTIL BUFFY REGAINS HER EQUILIBRIUM, THERE IS NO SLAYER. 636 00:30:15,354 --> 00:30:16,729 IF YOU NEED HELP... 637 00:30:16,729 --> 00:30:19,021 OH, UH, BUFFY NEEDS YOUR HELP MORE THAN I. 638 00:30:19,021 --> 00:30:20,813 YOU, UH, CARRY ON INVESTIGATING, 639 00:30:20,813 --> 00:30:22,688 SEE IF YOU CAN FIND OUT 640 00:30:22,688 --> 00:30:24,646 AS MUCH ABOUT THIS BUCHANAN CHAP AS POSSIBLE. 641 00:30:24,646 --> 00:30:26,646 BE CAREFUL. 642 00:30:26,646 --> 00:30:27,771 I--I WILL. 643 00:30:30,187 --> 00:30:32,521 TED'S GOT NO CRIMINAL RECORD! 644 00:30:32,521 --> 00:30:35,021 DAMN! THIS GUY'S, LIKE, CITIZEN OF THE YEAR. 645 00:30:35,021 --> 00:30:35,980 DON'T SWEAT IT. 646 00:30:35,980 --> 00:30:37,396 IT'LL BE FINE. 647 00:30:37,396 --> 00:30:39,646 DON'T SWEAT IT? 648 00:30:39,646 --> 00:30:41,438 YEAH, CUTE BUDDY. 649 00:30:41,438 --> 00:30:43,646 WE'LL WORK IT OUT. NO WORRIES. 650 00:30:43,646 --> 00:30:46,062 WHAT HAPPENED TO "THIS IS KILLING ME"? 651 00:30:46,062 --> 00:30:49,438 WORRYING ISN'T GONNA SOLVE ANY PROBLEMS. 652 00:31:04,646 --> 00:31:06,062 CAN I HELP? 653 00:31:07,271 --> 00:31:08,396 IT'S DONE. 654 00:31:10,855 --> 00:31:13,438 I'VE BEEN MEANING TO CLEAN OUT THIS JUNK FOR MONTHS. 655 00:31:16,896 --> 00:31:18,604 DO YOU, UH, HAVE HOMEWORK? 656 00:31:18,604 --> 00:31:21,187 I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HIM. 657 00:31:21,187 --> 00:31:23,021 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 658 00:31:23,021 --> 00:31:24,104 MOM, PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO KNOW-- 659 00:31:24,104 --> 00:31:26,187 I CAN'T. NOT YET. 660 00:31:26,187 --> 00:31:30,229 PLEASE, BUFFY, JUST...GO TO YOUR ROOM? 661 00:31:42,396 --> 00:31:43,354 Willow: OK. 662 00:31:43,354 --> 00:31:46,021 Xander: WHAT DO WE KNOW? 663 00:31:46,021 --> 00:31:49,688 WELL, APPARENTLY, THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS NOT LOVE. 664 00:31:49,688 --> 00:31:51,563 WHAT IS IT? 665 00:31:51,563 --> 00:31:55,021 I'M NOT POSITIVE, BUT I THINK IT'S DEMATORIN. 666 00:31:55,021 --> 00:31:56,479 IT'S LIKE A TRANQUILIZER, 667 00:31:56,479 --> 00:31:58,771 KEEPS YOU ALL MELLOW AND COMPLIANT. 668 00:31:58,771 --> 00:32:02,146 IT ALSO SHARES A FEW COMPONENTS WITH ECSTASY. 669 00:32:02,146 --> 00:32:03,813 THIS IS EVIDENCE. 670 00:32:03,813 --> 00:32:06,187 THIS IS REAL EVIDENCE THAT TED WAS SOME KIND OF A CROOK. 671 00:32:06,187 --> 00:32:08,688 BUFFY'S CLEARED. WILLOW, YOU ARE THE BEST HUMAN EVER. 672 00:32:08,688 --> 00:32:09,813 I ADORE YOU. 673 00:32:11,729 --> 00:32:14,271 WELL, THAT'S THE COOKIES TALKIN', BUT YOU ROCK! 674 00:32:14,271 --> 00:32:17,062 Cordelia: WELL, YOUR SEARCH FINALLY HIT PAY DIRT. 675 00:32:17,062 --> 00:32:18,980 GOT SOME PERSONAL RECORDS, MARRIAGE CERTIFICATES, 676 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,813 AND AN ADDRESS. 677 00:32:20,813 --> 00:32:23,354 WELL, LET'S CHECK IT OUT, GET OUR SLAYER BACK ON HER FEET 678 00:32:23,354 --> 00:32:24,688 BEFORE SOMEBODY ELSE GETS HURT. 679 00:32:37,396 --> 00:32:38,396 AH! 680 00:32:40,479 --> 00:32:42,855 YEAH, I GET THAT REACTION FROM MEN ALL THE TIME. 681 00:32:42,855 --> 00:32:44,980 JENNY, WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 682 00:32:44,980 --> 00:32:46,938 SAW YOUR CAR BACK THERE. I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE. 683 00:32:46,938 --> 00:32:48,521 IT'S NOT-- NOT THE BEST TIME-- 684 00:32:48,521 --> 00:32:51,187 NO, NO. PLEASE, LET ME GET THIS OUT. 685 00:32:51,187 --> 00:32:55,438 UH...I WAS SO... HARSH THE OTHER DAY. 686 00:32:55,438 --> 00:32:56,896 I AM SO SORRY. 687 00:32:56,896 --> 00:32:59,438 I MEAN, I KNOW HOW BADLY YOU MUST FEEL 688 00:32:59,438 --> 00:33:01,771 ABOUT PUTTING ME IN DANGER BEFORE AND... 689 00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:04,479 IMAGINE HOW I MUST FEEL NOW. 690 00:33:08,729 --> 00:33:10,563 [DOOR OPENS] 691 00:33:10,563 --> 00:33:11,855 MOM? 692 00:33:16,312 --> 00:33:18,104 THE HELL WITH THIS. 693 00:33:23,104 --> 00:33:24,312 SHE NAILED IT SHUT. 694 00:33:26,312 --> 00:33:28,771 WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL. THIS DAY CAN'T GET ANY WORSE. 695 00:33:31,646 --> 00:33:33,354 BEG TO DIFFER. 696 00:33:42,521 --> 00:33:43,855 YOU DIED. 697 00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,896 THAT'S RIGHT, LITTLE LADY, YOU KILLED ME. 698 00:33:45,896 --> 00:33:48,438 DO WE HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT? 699 00:33:48,438 --> 00:33:50,646 ARE WE SORRY? 700 00:33:50,646 --> 00:33:52,604 WHAT ARE YOU? 701 00:33:52,604 --> 00:33:54,146 I'M A SALESMAN! 702 00:33:54,146 --> 00:33:56,438 THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. 703 00:33:56,438 --> 00:33:58,980 NO MATTER HOW YOU PUT HIM DOWN... 704 00:34:01,104 --> 00:34:04,646 A GOOD SALESMAN ALWAYS BOUNCES BACK. 705 00:34:04,646 --> 00:34:06,187 ARRRRRRGGGH! 706 00:34:06,187 --> 00:34:07,479 AAH! AAH! 707 00:34:08,938 --> 00:34:10,021 [SNARLING] 708 00:34:10,021 --> 00:34:11,438 MY BAG! 709 00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:36,521 YOU SEE, I HAD TO SHUT DOWN FOR A WHILE TO GET YOU OFF MY BACK. 710 00:34:36,521 --> 00:34:38,855 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE INTERN'S FACE 711 00:34:38,855 --> 00:34:41,729 WHEN I GOT UP OFF THE TABLE. IT WAS A HOOT. 712 00:34:41,729 --> 00:34:43,062 FUN'S OVER, THOUGH. 713 00:34:48,354 --> 00:34:50,521 SAY GOOD NIGHT, BIG GUY. 714 00:34:51,896 --> 00:34:52,813 Giles: OOH! Jenny: AAH! 715 00:34:52,813 --> 00:34:54,980 OH, GOD! 716 00:34:56,771 --> 00:34:58,855 OH, NO! 717 00:34:58,855 --> 00:35:00,104 Vampire: HA HA HA HA! 718 00:35:00,104 --> 00:35:01,521 NICE SHOT, LADY. 719 00:35:01,521 --> 00:35:03,855 AAGGGH! 720 00:35:08,604 --> 00:35:10,521 OH, GOD! 721 00:35:19,771 --> 00:35:21,021 EEAAGGH! 722 00:35:21,021 --> 00:35:23,729 THAT WASN'T PLAYING FAIR, MISSY! 723 00:35:23,729 --> 00:35:25,646 YOU'RE GONNA FIND-- 724 00:35:25,646 --> 00:35:29,021 HELL OF A DAY. MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE 18 AGAIN-- 725 00:35:29,021 --> 00:35:32,021 THAT I DON'T LIKE BEING DISOBEYED. 726 00:35:34,813 --> 00:35:35,855 [DOOR CLOSES] 727 00:35:44,813 --> 00:35:47,479 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME AND YOUR MOTHER. 728 00:35:47,479 --> 00:35:49,187 WE'RE GOING TO BE VERY HAPPY. 729 00:35:56,938 --> 00:35:58,229 Willow: CAREFUL. 730 00:36:06,188 --> 00:36:07,354 LET'S LOOK AROUND. 731 00:36:11,521 --> 00:36:12,855 I'LL TAKE THE BACK. 732 00:36:12,855 --> 00:36:15,230 CHECK FOR COOKIES. 733 00:36:15,230 --> 00:36:17,021 FOR EVIDENCE. 734 00:36:17,021 --> 00:36:19,896 SO FAR, I'VE COUNTED 4 MARRIAGE CERTIFICATES. 735 00:36:19,896 --> 00:36:21,062 ANY DIVORCE PAPERS? 736 00:36:21,062 --> 00:36:22,688 NOT A ONE. 737 00:36:22,688 --> 00:36:25,896 SO EITHER OUR BOY WAS A MORMON, OR-- 738 00:36:25,896 --> 00:36:28,396 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 1957? 739 00:36:28,396 --> 00:36:31,646 TED MUST HAVE MARRIED YOUNG, LIKE PRESCHOOL YOUNG. 740 00:36:31,646 --> 00:36:34,230 NOTHING INTERESTING BACK HERE. 741 00:36:34,230 --> 00:36:35,855 DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYBODY'S WORKED HERE, LET ALONE LIVED HERE. 742 00:36:35,855 --> 00:36:37,230 SOMETHING'S MISSING HERE. 743 00:36:37,230 --> 00:36:39,354 THIS DOESN'T SEEM LIKE TED AT ALL. 744 00:36:39,354 --> 00:36:42,563 YEAH, AND THIS RUG? IT DOESN'T GO WITH THE REST OF THE DECOR. 745 00:36:53,479 --> 00:36:55,354 [FOOTSTEPS] 746 00:36:56,813 --> 00:36:59,855 BUFFY...I'M SORRY. 747 00:36:59,855 --> 00:37:01,521 I--I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO-- 748 00:37:01,521 --> 00:37:03,104 [GASP] 749 00:37:03,104 --> 00:37:04,813 JOYCE? 750 00:37:04,813 --> 00:37:06,646 TED... 751 00:37:06,646 --> 00:37:08,229 IS IT REA-- 752 00:37:08,229 --> 00:37:09,771 BUT YOU WERE-- 753 00:37:09,771 --> 00:37:11,312 I'M OK. 754 00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:13,230 I'M OK. 755 00:37:13,230 --> 00:37:15,230 I--I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. 756 00:37:15,230 --> 00:37:16,646 YOU WERE DEAD. 757 00:37:16,646 --> 00:37:19,104 THEY SAID I MUST HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR 6 MINUTES. 758 00:37:19,104 --> 00:37:21,688 THEY SAID ANY LONGER, AND IT WOULD HAVE CAUSED BRAIN DAMAGE. 759 00:37:21,688 --> 00:37:23,104 OH, WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL US? 760 00:37:23,104 --> 00:37:24,688 NOBODY KNEW. THEY TOOK ME TO THE MORGUE. 761 00:37:24,688 --> 00:37:27,230 I WAS UNCONSCIOUS FOR ALMOST A DAY. 762 00:37:27,230 --> 00:37:29,813 AN INTERN FOUND ME. IT'S A MIRACLE, JOYCE. A MIRACLE. 763 00:37:29,813 --> 00:37:30,938 OH, TED! 764 00:37:30,938 --> 00:37:32,230 I KNOW. 765 00:37:34,521 --> 00:37:37,354 OH, MY GOD! BUFFY! 766 00:37:37,354 --> 00:37:40,062 TED, I SWEAR, SHE NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU. 767 00:37:40,062 --> 00:37:41,312 YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME. 768 00:37:41,312 --> 00:37:42,729 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BUFFY. 769 00:37:42,729 --> 00:37:44,521 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. 770 00:37:44,521 --> 00:37:46,438 DADDY'S HERE. 771 00:38:07,104 --> 00:38:09,604 [FIFTIES MUSIC PLAYS] 772 00:38:09,604 --> 00:38:11,438 FEELS LIKE HOME... 773 00:38:11,438 --> 00:38:13,729 IF IT'S THE FIFTIES, AND YOU'RE A PSYCHO. 774 00:38:31,938 --> 00:38:33,688 WHAT YA GOT IN THE CLOSET, TED? 775 00:38:41,646 --> 00:38:42,646 LET'S GO. 776 00:38:42,646 --> 00:38:43,563 BUT WE NEED EVIDENCE. 777 00:38:43,563 --> 00:38:44,563 WE GOT IT! 778 00:38:44,563 --> 00:38:45,771 WHAT'S IN THERE? 779 00:38:45,771 --> 00:38:47,312 HIS FIRST 4 WIVES. 780 00:38:50,187 --> 00:38:52,104 YOU KNOW WHAT BROUGHT ME BACK, JOYCE? 781 00:38:52,104 --> 00:38:53,604 IT WAS YOU. 782 00:38:53,604 --> 00:38:55,104 I COULDN'T GO INTO THAT LIGHT. 783 00:38:55,104 --> 00:38:56,604 I HAD TO COME BACK FOR YOU. 784 00:38:56,604 --> 00:38:59,855 I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SO HAPPY. 785 00:38:59,855 --> 00:39:01,396 YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN. 786 00:39:01,396 --> 00:39:03,396 I FEEL FINE. NEVER BETTER. 787 00:39:04,771 --> 00:39:07,688 TED...I THINK I SHOULD TALK TO BUFFY FIRST, 788 00:39:07,688 --> 00:39:09,312 BEFORE SHE SEES YOU, BECAUSE-- 789 00:39:09,312 --> 00:39:12,230 DO WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BUFFY RIGHT NOW?! 790 00:39:12,230 --> 00:39:14,604 HOW ABOUT WORRYING ABOUT TEDDY?! HE'S THE ONE WHO DIED! 791 00:39:14,604 --> 00:39:16,187 I-I-I'M SORRY. 792 00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:17,771 I JUST... 793 00:39:17,771 --> 00:39:19,521 I--I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 794 00:39:19,521 --> 00:39:21,813 DON'T I ALWAYS TELL YOU WHAT TO DO? 795 00:39:21,813 --> 00:39:23,896 I'M GOING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT, 796 00:39:23,896 --> 00:39:25,312 THEN YOU AND I-- 797 00:39:25,312 --> 00:39:27,146 WANT A LITTLE GRAVY WITH THAT-- 798 00:39:27,146 --> 00:39:30,855 CAN GO AWAY WHERE NO ONE WILL BOTHER US AGAIN. 799 00:39:32,521 --> 00:39:34,062 TED, I--I THINK 800 00:39:34,062 --> 00:39:36,896 YOU MIGHT WANT TO REST FOR A WHILE. 801 00:39:36,896 --> 00:39:38,062 I THINK YOU MIGHT 802 00:39:38,062 --> 00:39:39,271 WANT TO STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. 803 00:39:39,271 --> 00:39:41,187 I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM WOMEN. 804 00:39:41,187 --> 00:39:42,771 I'M NOT WIRED THAT WAY. 805 00:39:43,938 --> 00:39:46,354 OH, GOD. I AM SO SORRY. 806 00:39:46,354 --> 00:39:47,813 I THINK I'M ALL RIGHT. 807 00:39:47,813 --> 00:39:49,354 NO. YOU'RE JUST IN SHOCK. 808 00:39:49,354 --> 00:39:51,813 NO, NO, REALLY. I DON'T THINK IT WENT IN TOO DEEP. 809 00:39:51,813 --> 00:39:53,646 THE ADVANTAGES OF LAYERS OF TWEED. 810 00:39:53,646 --> 00:39:56,312 IT'S BETTER THAN KEVLAR. 811 00:39:56,312 --> 00:39:57,646 OH! OK. ALL RIGHT. 812 00:39:57,646 --> 00:39:59,146 WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO THE HOSPITAL. 813 00:39:59,146 --> 00:40:00,187 YES, YES. 814 00:40:00,187 --> 00:40:01,271 OW! OW! OW! OOOH! 815 00:40:01,271 --> 00:40:02,354 I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! 816 00:40:02,354 --> 00:40:03,312 LET'S MOVE SLOWLY, SHALL WE? 817 00:40:03,312 --> 00:40:04,479 SORRY. OK. 818 00:40:08,354 --> 00:40:10,021 [GIGGLING] 819 00:40:10,021 --> 00:40:12,813 WHAT? WH-WHAT IS IT? 820 00:40:12,813 --> 00:40:14,563 SOME NIGHT, HUH? 821 00:40:14,563 --> 00:40:18,354 YEAH, YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO WOO A GIRL BACK, DON'T YA? 822 00:40:18,354 --> 00:40:19,688 OW! OW! 823 00:40:19,688 --> 00:40:21,187 HOSPITAL. YES. 824 00:40:27,855 --> 00:40:29,813 [GROANS] 825 00:40:29,813 --> 00:40:31,146 [COUGHING] 826 00:40:34,104 --> 00:40:36,396 I--I THINK I COULD USE A DRINK. 827 00:40:36,396 --> 00:40:38,104 UM, TO--TO CELEBRATE. 828 00:40:38,104 --> 00:40:40,104 WE SHOULD PROBABLY BE HITTING THE ROAD. 829 00:40:40,104 --> 00:40:41,354 HITTING THE ROAD? 830 00:40:41,354 --> 00:40:42,813 YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THE HOUSE. 831 00:40:42,813 --> 00:40:44,855 IT'S FURNISHED JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE IT. 832 00:40:44,855 --> 00:40:49,021 I SPENT A LOT OF-- TELLING ME WHAT TO DO-- TIME DECORATING. 833 00:40:49,021 --> 00:40:52,146 WELL, THEN I'D--I'D PROBABLY BETTER GO PACK. 834 00:40:52,146 --> 00:40:54,021 I ALREADY HAVE YOUR CLOTHES. 835 00:40:54,021 --> 00:40:55,438 THEY'RE YOUR SIZE. 836 00:40:55,438 --> 00:40:57,521 THEY'RE ALWAYS YOUR SIZE. 837 00:40:57,521 --> 00:41:00,855 YOU LEFT ME ONCE, BUT I KEEP BRINGING YOU BACK. 838 00:41:00,855 --> 00:41:03,104 HUSBAND AND WIFE IS FOREVER. 839 00:41:03,104 --> 00:41:04,479 FOREVER. 840 00:41:06,438 --> 00:41:08,229 LET'S GO. 841 00:41:08,229 --> 00:41:09,896 TED, LET GO, PLEASE. 842 00:41:09,896 --> 00:41:11,563 GET OFF ME! 843 00:41:14,396 --> 00:41:16,312 FINE, THEN. 844 00:41:16,312 --> 00:41:18,062 I'LL HAVE TO CARRY YOU. 845 00:41:18,062 --> 00:41:20,146 [FLOORBOARD CREAKS] 846 00:41:41,771 --> 00:41:44,479 BUFFY, COME OUT! 847 00:41:44,479 --> 00:41:47,146 I DON'T STAND FOR THIS KIND OF MALARKEY IN MY HOUSE. 848 00:41:47,146 --> 00:41:48,521 UNCLE TEDDY? 849 00:41:51,980 --> 00:41:53,563 THIS HOUSE IS MINE. 850 00:42:02,396 --> 00:42:04,146 BUFFY... 851 00:42:04,146 --> 00:42:06,438 HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF PARCHEESI? 852 00:42:32,271 --> 00:42:34,563 DO YOU WANT TO RENT A MOVIE TONIGHT? 853 00:42:34,563 --> 00:42:36,146 SOUNDS LIKE FUN. 854 00:42:36,146 --> 00:42:38,187 JUST NOTHING WITH HORROR IN IT. 855 00:42:39,813 --> 00:42:40,980 OR ROMANCE. 856 00:42:40,980 --> 00:42:42,938 OR MEN. 857 00:42:42,938 --> 00:42:45,396 I GUESS WE'RE THELMA & LOUISE-ING IT AGAIN? 858 00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:47,354 GOOD CALL. 859 00:42:51,354 --> 00:42:53,938 I STILL THINK HE'S GONNA JUMP OUT AT ME. 860 00:42:53,938 --> 00:42:56,438 ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT THE POLICE FOUND IN HIS HOUSE. 861 00:42:56,438 --> 00:42:58,271 IT'S JUST TOO HORRIBLE. 862 00:42:58,271 --> 00:43:00,229 I WOULDN'T WORRY. 863 00:43:00,229 --> 00:43:01,521 HE'S NOT COMING BACK. 864 00:43:01,521 --> 00:43:03,938 I WISH I COULD BE SO SURE. 865 00:43:03,938 --> 00:43:07,521 TRUST ME. HE'S ON THE SCRAP HEAP. 866 00:43:07,521 --> 00:43:08,729 OF LIFE. 867 00:43:11,813 --> 00:43:14,271 Xander: SO I'M TED, THE SICKLY LOSER. 868 00:43:14,271 --> 00:43:16,646 I'M DYING, AND MY WIFE DUMPS ME. 869 00:43:16,646 --> 00:43:17,646 I BUILD A BETTER TED. 870 00:43:17,646 --> 00:43:19,646 HE BRINGS HER BACK, 871 00:43:19,646 --> 00:43:22,396 HOLDS HER HOSTAGE IN HIS BUNKER O' LOVE UNTIL SHE DIES, 872 00:43:22,396 --> 00:43:26,354 AND THEN HE KEEPS BRINGING HER BACK OVER AND OVER. 873 00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:29,229 NOW, THAT'S CREEPY ON A LEVEL I HARDLY KNEW EXISTED. 874 00:43:29,229 --> 00:43:32,312 THE SAD PART IS, THE REAL TED MUST HAVE BEEN A GENIUS. 875 00:43:32,312 --> 00:43:34,563 THERE WERE DESIGN FEATURES IN THAT ROBOT THAT PREDATE-- 876 00:43:34,563 --> 00:43:37,229 WILLOW, TELL ME YOU DIDN'T KEEP ANY PARTS. 877 00:43:37,229 --> 00:43:39,855 NOT ANY...BIG ONES. 878 00:43:39,855 --> 00:43:43,438 OH. WILL, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE YOUR POWERS FOR GOOD. 879 00:43:43,438 --> 00:43:45,980 I JUST WANNA LEARN STUFF. 880 00:43:45,980 --> 00:43:48,729 LIKE HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN SERIAL KILLER? 881 00:43:48,729 --> 00:43:50,062 IT'S SO HARD TO RENT ONE NOWADAYS. 882 00:43:50,062 --> 00:43:51,187 CAN WE JUST DROP THE SUBJECT? 883 00:43:51,187 --> 00:43:52,438 ABSOLUTELY. 884 00:43:52,438 --> 00:43:53,688 I PLAN TO FORGET THE WHOLE THING 885 00:43:53,688 --> 00:43:54,896 AND PICK UP RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF. 886 00:43:54,896 --> 00:43:57,688 OK. THAT'S IT. I GIVE UP. 887 00:43:57,688 --> 00:44:00,021 DO I HAVE TO SOUND AN AIR HORN EVERY TIME I WALK INTO A ROOM? 888 00:44:00,021 --> 00:44:03,271 I MEAN, WHAT IS IT WITH GROWNUPS THESE DAYS? 889 00:44:44,729 --> 00:44:46,521 GRR! ARRGH!