Announcer: PREVIOUSLY ON BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER...
- DRUSILLA. - WHO ARE YOU?
SPIKE HAS FOUGHT 2 SLAYERS IN THE LAST CENTURY,
AND HE'S KILLED THEM BOTH.
THE LAST SLAYER I KILLED,
SHE BEGGED FOR HER LIFE.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE.
ME AND DRU, WE'RE MOVING IN.
[SNARLS]
[HOWLING]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ WELL I DON'T SAY MUCH, BUT I... ♪
I KNOW. IS THE BRONZE SO NOT HAPPENING
OR WHAT?
OH, HI.
HI.
I'M WAITING FOR BUFFY.
GREAT. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE MEETING DEVON,
BUT HE'S NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
IT'S LIKE HE THINKS BEING IN A BAND
GIVES HIM AN OBLIGATION TO FLAKE.
WELL, HIS LOSS IS YOUR INCREDIBLE GAIN.
SO I TOLD DEVON,
"YOU CALL THAT LEATHER INTERIOR?
MY BARBIE DREAM CAR HAD NICER SEATS."
BUFFY?
BUFFY.
HI.
UM... LATE.
ROUGH DAY AT THE OFFICE.
SO I SEE.
HEY, IT'S A LOOK.
A SEASONAL LOOK.
BUFFY... LOVE THE HAIR.
IT JUST SCREAMS STREET URCHIN.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I NEED TO GO...
PUT A BAG OVER MY HEAD.
DON'T LISTEN TO HER.
HEY, YOU LOOK FINE.
YOU'RE SWEET.
A TERRIBLE LIAR...
BUT SWEET.
I THOUGHT WE HAD...
A DATE. YEAH.
SO DID I.
BUT WHO AM I KIDDING?
DATES ARE THINGS NORMAL GIRLS HAVE.
GIRLS WHO HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUT
NAIL POLISH AND FACIALS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK ABOUT?
AMBUSH TACTICS.
BEHEADING.
NOT EXACTLY THE STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE OF.
CAPPUCCINO?
HEY!
YOU'RE VOLUNTEERING.
BUT I HAVE TO GET TO CLASS.
SNYDER MUST BE IN CHARGE OF THE VOLUNTEER SAFETY PROGRAM
FOR HALLOWEEN THIS YEAR.
NOTE HIS INTERESTING TAKE ON THE VOLUNTEER CONCEPT.
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
A BUNCH OF LITTLE KIDS NEED PEOPLE TO TAKE THEM TRICK OR TREATING.
SIGN UP AND GET YOUR OWN PACK OF SUGAR-HYPED LITTLE RUNTS
FOR THE NIGHT.
YIKES.
I'LL STICK TO VAMPIRES.
MISS SUMMERS.
JUST THE JUVENILE DELINQUENT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.
PRINCIPAL SNYDER.
HALLOWEEN MUST BE A BIG NIGHT FOR YOU--
TOSSING EGGS, KEYING CARS, BOBBING FOR APPLES.
ONE PATHETIC CRY FOR HELP AFTER ANOTHER.
WELL, NOT THIS YEAR, MISSY.
GOSH, I'D LOVE TO SIGN UP,
BUT I RECENTLY DEVELOPED CARPAL-TUNNEL SYNDROME
AND CAN TRAGICALLY NO LONGER HOLD A FLASHLIGHT.
THE PROGRAM STARTS AT 4:00.
THE CHILDREN HAVE TO BE BACK AT 6:00.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
WE HAVE TO GET DRESSED UP AND THE WHOLE DEAL?
SNYDER SAID COSTUMES WERE MANDATORY.
GREAT. I WAS GONNA STAY IN AND VEG.
THE ONE NIGHT A YEAR THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET FOR ME.
HALLOWEEN QUIET?
I FIGURED IT WOULD BE A BIG OL' VAMP SCAREAPALOOZA.
NOT ACCORDING TO GILES.
HE SWEARS THAT TOMORROW NIGHT
IS, LIKE, DEAD FOR THE UNDEAD.
THEY STAY IN.
THOSE WACKY VAMPIRES. THAT'S WHY I LOVE 'EM.
THEY JUST KEEP YOU GUESSING.
HARRIS.
HEY, LAR, YOU'RE LOOKING CRO-MAG AS USUAL.
WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?
YOU AND BUFFY, YOU'RE JUST FRIENDS, RIGHT?
I LIKE TO THINK OF IT LESS AS A FRIENDSHIP
AND MORE AS A SOLID FOUNDATION TO FUTURE BLISS.
SO SHE'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
ALAS, NO.
YOU THINK SHE'D GO OUT WITH ME?
WELL, LAR, THAT'S A TOUGH QUESTION TO--
NO. NOT A CHANCE.
WHY NOT? I HEARD SOME GUY SAY SHE WAS FAST.
I HOPE YOU MEAN LIKE THE WIND.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
THAT'S MY FRIEND YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
OH, YEAH? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
I'M GONNA DO WHAT ANY MAN WOULD DO ABOUT IT.
SOMETHING DAMN MANLY.
OW!
GET GONE.
OOH! DIET.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID?
SAVED A DOLLAR?
LARRY WAS ABOUT TO PUMMEL ME.
OH, THAT? FORGET ABOUT IT.
OH, I'LL FORGET ABOUT IT,
MAYBE 15, 20 YEARS WHEN MY REP FOR BEING A SISSY-MAN FINALLY FADES.
XANDER, DON'T YOU THINK--
A BLACK EYE HEALS, BUFFY,
BUT COWARDICE HAS AN UNLIMITED SHELF LIFE.
OH, THANKS.
THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR HELP.
BU--
OHH...
I THINK I JUST VIOLATED THE GUY CODE BIG TIME.
POOR XANDER.
BOYS ARE SO FRAGILE.
SPEAKING OF, HOW WAS YOUR DATE LAST NIGHT?
MISFIRE. I WAS LATE DUE TO UNSCHEDULED SLAYAGE.
SHOWED UP LOOKING TRASHED.
WAS HE MAD?
ACTUALLY, HE WAS PRETTY UN-MAD,
WHICH PROBABLY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT
THAT CORDELIA WAS DROOLING IN HIS CAPPUCCINO.
OH, BUFFY, ANGEL WOULD NEVER FALL FOR HER ACT.
YOU MEAN THAT ACTUALLY SHOWING UP WEARING A STUNNING OUTFIT,
EMBRACING PERSONAL HYGIENE ACT?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
SHE'S NOT HIS TYPE.
ARE YOU SURE?
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HIS TYPE IS.
I'VE KNOWN HIM LESS THAN A YEAR,
AND IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,
HE'S NOT EXACTLY ONE TO OVERSHARE.
TRUE. IT'S TOO BAD WE CAN'T SNEAK A LOOK AT THE WATCHER DIARIES
AND READ UP ON ANGEL.
I'M SURE IT'S FULL OF FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL.
YEAH.
IT'S TOO BAD.
THAT STUFF IS PRIVATE.
ALSO, GILES KEEPS THEM IN HIS OFFICE
IN HIS PERSONAL FILES.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT WOULD BE WRONG.
BUFFY. EXCELLENT.
NOTHING. HI.
I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT TOMORROW NIGHT.
AS IT SHOULD BE CALM,
I THOUGHT WE MIGHT WORK ON SOME NEW BATTLE TECHNIQUES.
YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SCARE ME, GILES.
YOU NEED TO HAVE SOME FUN.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S THIS PLACE YOU CAN GO, RIGHT,
AND YOU SIT IN THE DARK,
AND THERE ARE THESE MOVING PICTURES, RIGHT?
AND THE PICTURES TELL A STORY.
YES. HA HA. VERY DROLL.
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE VERY MANY RELAXING HOBBIES.
SUCH AS?
WELL, UM...
I ENJOY CROSS-REFERENCING.
DO YOU STUFF YOUR OWN SHIRTS,
OR DO YOU SEND THEM OUT?
SO...
HOW COME HALLOWEEN IS SUCH A BIG YAWNER?
DO THE DEMONS JUST HATE HOW COMMERCIAL IT'S BECOME?
UM, IT'S INTERESTING... NOT, I SUSPECT, TO YOU.
WHAT IS IT YOU'RE AFTER?
OF COURSE IT'S OF INTEREST TO ME.
I'M THE SLAYER. I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS.
YOU CAN'T KEEP ME IN THE DARK ANY LONGER.
LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!
I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THESE GAMES.
MS. CALENDAR SAID YOU WERE A BABE.
SHE SAID WHAT?
SHE SAID THAT YOU WERE A HUNK OF BURNING...
SOMETHING OR OTHER.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
UM, I...
I DON'T REALLY...
BURNING HUNK OF WHAT?
LOOK, YOU KNOW HOW DISGUSTING IT IS
FOR ME TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE YOU GROWNUPS HAVING SMOOCHIES, BUT...
I THINK YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT.
BUFFY, I APPRECIATE YOUR INTEREST, BUT...
BUT I'VE OVERSTEPPED MY BOUNDS.
IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, YOU KNOW?
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
MY GOD! SHAME, SHAME.
I GOTTA GO.
A BABE?
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
Buffy: MAN, LOOK AT HER.
Willow: WHO IS SHE?
IT DOESN'T SAY, BUT THE ENTRY'S DATED 1775.
ANGEL WAS 18... AND STILL HUMAN.
SO THAT'S THE KIND OF GIRL HE HUNG AROUND?
SHE'S PRETTY... COIFED.
SHE LOOKS LIKE A NOBLEWOMAN OR SOMETHING,
WHICH MEANS BEING BEAUTIFUL WAS SORT OF HER JOB.
AND CLEARLY THIS GIRL WAS A WORKAHOLIC.
I'LL NEVER BE LIKE THIS.
COME ON. SHE'S NOT THAT PRETTY.
I MEAN, LOOK AT HER.
SHE'S GOT A FUNNY... WAIST.
LOOK HOW TINY THAT IS.
THANK YOU. NOW I FEEL BETTER.
NO. SHE'S LIKE A FREAK.
A CIRCUS FREAK.
YUCK.
MUST'VE BEEN WONDERFUL TO PUT ON SOME FANTABULOUS GOWN
AND GO TO A BALL LIKE A PRINCESS
AND HAVE HORSES AND SERVANTS AND YET MORE GOWNS.
YEAH. STILL, I THINK I PREFER BEING ABLE TO VOTE.
OR I WILL, WHEN I CAN.
SO, BUFFY, YOU RAN OFF LAST NIGHT
AND LEFT POOR LITTLE ANGEL ALL BY HIS LONESOME.
BUT I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO COMFORT HIM.
YEAH, I'LL BET.
SO WHAT'S HIS STORY ANYWAY?
I MEAN, I NEVER SEE HIM AROUND.
NOT DURING THE DAY ANYWAY.
OH, PLEASE. DON'T TELL ME HE STILL LIVES AT HOME.
LIKE, HE HAS TO WAIT FOR HIS DAD TO GET BACK BEFORE HE CAN TAKE THE CAR?
CORDELIA, I THINK HIS PARENTS HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR A COUPLE OF HUNDRED YEARS.
OH, GOOD. I MEAN--
WHAT?
ANGEL'S A VAMPIRE.
I THOUGHT YOU KNEW.
OH. HE'S A VAMPIRE.
OF COURSE.
BUT THE CUDDLY KIND.
LIKE A CARE BEAR WITH FANGS.
IT'S TRUE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
I JUST THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO SCARE ME OFF
'CAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF THE COMPETITION.
LOOK, BUFFY, YOU MAY BE HOT STUFF
WHEN IT COMES TO DEMONOLOGY OR WHATEVER,
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO DATING,
I'M THE SLAYER.
[PUMPKIN SCREAMS]
WHAT DID YOU GET?
A TIME-HONORED CLASSIC.
OK, WELL, CAN I GIVE YOU A LITTLE FRIENDLY ADVICE?
IT'S NOT SPOOKY ENOUGH?
IT'S JUST YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET NOTICED
IF YOU KEEP HIDING.
YOU'RE MISSING THE WHOLE POINT OF HALLOWEEN.
FREE CANDY?
IT'S COME AS YOU AREN'T NIGHT.
THE PERFECT CHANCE FOR A GIRL TO GET SEXY AND WILD
WITH NO REPERCUSSIONS.
OH, I DON'T GET WILD.
WILD ON ME EQUALS SPAZ.
DON'T UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF.
YOU'VE GOT IT IN YOU.
HEY, XANDER.
WHAT DID YOU GET?
THAT'S NOT A COSTUME.
I GOT FATIGUES FROM AN ARMY SURPLUS AT HOME.
CALL ME THE $2.00 COSTUME KING, BABY.
HEY, LIKE, XANDER,
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THIS MORNING.
DO YOU MIND, BUFFY?
I'M TRYING TO REPRESS.
OK, THEN I PROMISE FROM NOW ON
I'LL LET YOU GET PUMMELED.
THANK YOU.
OK, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I THINK I COULD'VE--
HELLO?
THAT WAS OUR TOUCHING
RECONCILIATION MOMENT THERE.
I'M SORRY, IT'S JUST...
LOOK AT THIS.
IT'S AMAZING.
TOO BULKY.
I PREFER MY WOMEN IN SPANDEX.
PLEASE, LET ME.
OH, IT'S--
MAGNIFICENT. YES, I KNOW.
THERE.
MY, MEET THE HIDDEN PRINCESS.
I THINK WE'VE FOUND A MATCH,
DON'T YOU?
OH, I'M SORRY.
THERE'S NO WAY I COULD EVER AFFORD THIS.
OH, NONSENSE.
I FEEL QUITE MOVED
TO MAKE YOU A DEAL YOU CAN'T REFUSE.
Spike: HERE IT COMES.
REWIND THAT.
I WANT TO SEE THAT AGAIN.
SHE'S TRICKY.
BABY LIKES TO PLAY.
YOU SEE WHERE SHE STAKES HIM WITH THAT THING?
THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL RESOURCEFUL.
REWIND IT AGAIN.
MISS EDITH NEEDS HER TEA.
COME HERE, POODLE.
DO YOU LOVE MY INSIDES?
THE PARTS YOU CAN'T SEE?
EYEBALLS TO ENTRAILS, MY SWEET.
THAT'S WHY I'VE GOT TO STUDY THIS SLAYER.
ONCE I KNOW HER, I CAN KILL HER.
AND ONCE I KILL HER, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR RUN OF SUNNYHELL
AND GET STRONG AGAIN.
DON'T WORRY.
EVERYTHING'S SWITCHING.
OUTSIDE TO INSIDE.
AHH.
IT MAKES HER WEAK.
REALLY?
DID MY PET HAVE A VISION?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS?
LEECHES.
COME ON, TALK TO DADDY.
THIS THING THAT MAKES THE SLAYER WEAK.
WHEN IS IT?
TOMORROW.
TOMORROW'S HALLOWEEN.
NOTHING HAPPENS ON HALLOWEEN.
SOMEONE HAS COME TO CHANGE IT ALL.
SOMEONE NEW.
[GRUNTS]
THE WORLD THAT DENIES THEE,
THOU INHABIT.
THE PEACE THAT IGNORES THEE,
THOU CORRUPT.
CHAOS.
I REMAIN AS EVER
THY FAITHFUL, DEGENERATE SON.
Willow: WHERE ARE YOU MEETING ANGEL?
HERE, AFTER TRICK OR TREATING.
MOM'S GOING TO BE OUT.
DOES HE KNOW ABOUT YOUR COSTUME?
NOPE.
CALL IT A BLAST FROM HIS PAST.
I'LL SHOW HIM I CAN COIF WITH THE BEST OF THEM.
OK, WILLOW, COME OUT.
YOU CAN'T HIDE IN THERE ALL NIGHT.
OK. BUT PROMISE YOU WON'T LAUGH.
I PROMISE.
WOW.
YOU'RE A DISH.
I MEAN, REALLY.
BUT THIS JUST ISN'T ME.
AND THAT'S THE POINT.
LOOK, HALLOWEEN IS THE NIGHT
THAT NOT YOU IS YOU,
BUT NOT YOU, YOU KNOW?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH, THAT'S XANDER.
ARE YOU READY?
YEAH, O-OK.
COOL.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE BOYS
TO GO NON-VERBAL WHEN THEY SEE YOU.
PRIVATE HARRIS REPORTING FOR--
BUFFY,
LADY OF BUFFDOM,
DUCHESS OF BUFFONIA,
I AM IN AWE.
I COMPLETELY RENOUNCE SPANDEX.
THANK YOU, KIND SIR.
BUT WAIT TILL YOU SEE--
HI.
CASPER.
HEY, WILL, THAT'S A FINE BOO YOU GOT THERE.
THIS IS YOUR GROUP, SUMMERS.
NO NEED TO SPEAK TO THEM.
THE LAST THING THEY NEED IS YOUR INFLUENCE.
JUST BRING THEM BACK IN ONE PIECE,
AND I WON'T EXPEL YOU.
HI.
AH AH.
WHERE'S YOUR BODYGUARD, HARRIS,
CURLING HER HAIR?
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
OZ. OZ.
HEY, CORDELIA.
JEEZ, YOU'RE LIKE A GREAT BIG CAT.
THAT'S MY COSTUME.
ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING TONIGHT?
YEAH, AT THE SHELTER CLUB.
IS MR. I'M-THE-LEAD-SINGER, I'M-SO-GREAT,
I-DON'T-HAVE-TO-SHOW-UP- FOR-MY-DATE-OR-EVEN-CALL
GOING TO BE THERE?
YEAH. YOU KNOW, HE'S JUST GOING BY DEVON NOW.
WELL, YOU CAN TELL HIM THAT I DON'T CARE,
AND THAT I DIDN'T EVEN MENTION IT,
AND THAT I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU
SO THAT'S JUST FINE.
SO, WHAT DO I TELL HIM?
NOTHING.
JEEZ, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
NOW, WHY CAN'T I MEET A NICE GIRL LIKE THAT?
OH, I'M SORRY.
SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
SORRY.
OK, ON SLEAZING EXTRA CANDY:
TEARS ARE KEY.
TEARS WILL NORMALLY GET YOU THE DOUBLE-BAGGER.
YOU CAN ALSO TRY THE OLD "YOU MISSED ME" ROUTINE,
BUT IT'S RISKY.
ONLY GO THERE FOR CHOCOLATE, UNDERSTOOD?
OK, TROOPS...
LET'S MOVE OUT.
WHAT DID MRS. DAVIS GIVE YOU?
SHE MUST BE STOPPED.
LET'S HIT ONE MORE HOUSE.
WE STILL HAVE A FEW MINUTES BEFORE I NEED TO GET YOU BACK.
[SPEAKING LATIN]
Willow; COME ON, GUYS.
TRICK OR TREAT. TRICK OR TREAT.
OH, MY GOODNESS!
AREN'T YOU ADORABLE?
[SPEAKING LATIN]
[WIND HOWLS]
OH, DEAR.
AM I ALL OUT?
SHOW TIME.
I COULD'VE SWORN I HAD MORE CANDY.
I'M SORRY, MR. MONSTER.
MAYBE--
GRR!
AAH!
NO! LET HER GO!
RRR! RRR!
STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
RRR! RRR!
STOP!
[SCREAMING]
[GROWLING]
OH, MY GOD.
RRR! RRR!
I CAN'T BREATHE.
OH, MY GOD.
I'M A REAL GHOST.
[MACHINE GUN FIRES]
XANDER?
XANDER,
IT'S ME, WILLOW.
I DON'T KNOW ANY WILLOW.
XANDER, QUIT MESSING AROUND.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
YOU DON'T KNOW ME?
LADY, I SUGGEST YOU FIND COVER.
NO, WAIT!
OH.
WHAT ARE YOU?
XANDER, LISTEN TO ME.
I'M ON YOUR SIDE, I SWEAR.
SOMETHING CRAZY IS HAPPENING.
I WAS DRESSED AS A GHOST FOR HALLOWEEN,
AND NOW I AM A GHOST.
AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A SOLDIER,
AND NOW I--I GUESS YOU'RE A REAL SOLDIER.
YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT?
NO! NO GUNS!
THAT'S STILL A LITTLE KID IN THERE.
STEP OUT OF THE WAY.
NO GUNS! THAT'S AN ORDER!
WE JUST NEED TO FIND BUFFY!
BUFFY, ARE YOU OK?
RRR!
THIS COULD BE A SITUATION.
BUFFY, WHAT DO WE DO?
[MACHINE GUN FIRES]
BUFFY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
WHAT?
ARE YOU HURT?
BUFFY, ARE YOU HURT?
BUFFY?
SHE'S NOT BUFFY.
WHO'S BUFFY?
OH, THIS IS FUN.
WHAT YEAR IS THIS?
1775, I BELIEVE.
UH, I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHO ARE YOU?
WE'RE FRIENDS.
FRIENDS OF WHOM?
YOUR DRESS,
EVERYTHING IS STRANGE.
HOW DID I COME TO BE HERE?
BREATHE, OK, BREATHE.
YOU'RE GOING TO FAINT AGAIN.
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET THROUGH THIS WITHOUT THE SLAYER?
WHAT'S A SLAYER?
Demon: HA HA HA!
AAH! AAH! AAH!
I SUGGEST WE GET INSIDE BEFORE WE COME ACROSS ANOTHER--
A DEMON!
IT'S NOT A DEMON. IT'S A CAR.
WHAT DOES IT WANT?
IS THIS WOMAN INSANE?
SHE'S NEVER SEEN A CAR.
SHE'S FROM THE PAST.
AND YOU'RE A GHOST.
YES. NOW, LET'S GET INSIDE.
JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M TAKING A LOT ON FAITH HERE.
WHERE DO WE GO?
WHERE'S THE CLOSEST...
WE CAN GO TO A FRIEND'S.
ALL CLEAR.
HELLO?
MRS. SUMMERS?
GOOD, SHE'S GONE.
WHERE ARE WE?
YOUR PLACE. NOW, WE JUST NEED TO--
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
DON'T OPEN IT.
IT COULD BE A CIVILIAN.
OR A MINI-DEMON.
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
THIS...
THIS COULD BE ME.
IT IS YOU.
BUFFY, CAN'T YOU REMEMBER AT ALL?
NO.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS.
THIS IS SOME OTHER GIRL.
I WOULD NEVER WEAR THIS,
THAT LOW APPAREL.
AND I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE.
AND I DON'T LIKE YOU.
AND I JUST WANT TO GO HOME.
YOU ARE HOME.
SHE COULDN'T HAVE DRESSED UP LIKE XENA?
RRR!
NOT A CIVILIAN!
AFFIRMATIVE!
HEY, WHAT DID WE SAY?
BIG NOISE SCARE MONSTER, REMEMBER?
GOT IT.
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
DAMN IT.
OH, SURELY HE'LL NOT DESERT US.
WHATEVER.
NO!
OH!
SOMEBODY HELP ME!
OH! AAH! AAH!
AAH! AAH!
AAH! XANDER!
HELP ME!
COME INSIDE.
Cordelia: NO!
CORDELIA.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OK, YOUR NAME IS CORDELIA.
YOU'RE NOT A CAT. YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
AND WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS. WELL, SORT OF.
THAT'S NICE, WILLOW.
AND YOU WENT MENTAL WHEN?
YOU KNOW US?
YEAH, LUCKY ME.
WHAT'S WITH THE NAME GAME?
- A LOT'S GOING ON. - NO KIDDING.
I WAS JUST ATTACKED BY JOJO, THE DOG-FACED BOY.
LOOK AT MY COSTUME.
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT PARTY TOWN'S GOING TO GIVE ME MY DEPOSIT BACK?
NOT ON THE LIKELY.
HERE.
THANKS.
OK, YOU GUYS STAY HERE
WHILE I GET SOME HELP.
IF SOMETHING TRIES TO GET IN, JUST FIGHT IT OFF.
WELL, IT'S NOT OUR PLACE TO FIGHT.
SURELY SOME MEN WILL PROTECT US.
WHAT'S THAT RIFF?
IT'S LIKE AMNESIA, OK?
THEY DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
JUST SIT TIGHT.
WHO DIED AND MADE HER THE BOSS?
WELL, THIS IS JUST...
NEAT.
YOU, CHECK UPSTAIRS,
MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S LOCKED UP.
SURELY THERE'S SOMEWHERE WE CAN GO.
A SAFE HAVEN?
THE LADY SAID STAY PUT.
YOU WOULD TAKE ORDERS FROM A WOMAN?
ARE YOU FEEBLE IN SOME WAY?
MA'AM, IN THE ARMY WE HAVE A SAYING.
SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE--
WHOA!
SHE MUST BE RIGHT.
WE MUST HAVE SOME KIND OF AMNESIA.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS,
BUT I'M CERTAIN I DON'T HAVE IT.
I BATHE QUITE OFTEN.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?
I DON'T.
I WAS BROUGHT UP A PROPER LADY.
I WASN'T MEANT TO UNDERSTAND THINGS.
I'M JUST MEANT TO LOOK PRETTY.
AND THEN SOMEONE NICE WILL MARRY ME,
POSSIBLY A BARON.
THIS AIN'T NO TEA PARTY, PRINCESS.
SOONER OR LATER, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT.
FIGHT THESE LOW CREATURES?
I'D SOONER DIE.
THEN YOU'LL DIE.
OH, GOOD, YOU GUYS ARE ALL RIGHT.
IT'S TOTAL CHAOS OUT THERE.
WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?
[POLICE SIRENS]
GEE!
HI.
SO, HOW...
HA.
OK, SOMEBODY WANT TO FILL ME IN?
DO YOU LIVE HERE?
NO, YOU KNOW THAT. BUFFY--
I'M LOST HERE.
YOU--
WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR HAIR?
THEY DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
EVERYONE'S TURNED INTO A MONSTER.
IT'S A WHOLE BIG THING. HOW ARE YOU?
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
[GASPS]
DO YOU MIND?
YOU TAKE THE PRINCESS AND SECURE THE KITCHEN.
CATWOMAN, YOU'RE WITH ME.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH YOU.
I LIKE THE MAN WITH THE MUSKET.
COME ON.
DO YOU HAVE A MUSKET?
I DIDN'T LEAVE THAT OPEN.
AAH! RRR!
AAH! AAH! OH!
RRR!
STAKE!
A WHAT?
GET ME A STAKE!
[VAMPIRE GROWLS]
HURRY UP!
AAH!
OH, GOD.
BUFFY, NO!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.
PLUS I CAN'T TURN THE PAGE.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, LET'S--LET'S REVIEW.
UM, SO EVERYBODY BECAME WHATEVER THEY WERE MASQUERADING AS.
RIGHT. XANDER WAS A SOLDIER,
AND BUFFY WAS AN 18th CENTURY GIRL.
AND, UH, YOUR COSTUME?
I'M A GHOST.
YES. BUT, UM...
WELL, THE GHOST OF WHAT EXACTLY?
WELL, THIS IS NOTHING.
YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT CORDELIA WAS WEARING.
A--A UNITARD WITH CAT THINGS
LIKE EARS AND STUFF.
GOOD HEAVENS.
SHE BECAME AN ACTUAL FELINE?
NO.
SHE WAS THE SAME OLD CORDELIA,
JUST IN A CAT COSTUME.
SHE DIDN'T CHANGE?
NO.
HOLD ON.
PARTY TOWN.
SHE TOLD US SHE GOT HER OUTFIT FROM PARTY TOWN.
AND EVERYBODY WHO CHANGED,
THEY-- THEY ACQUIRED THEIR COSTUMES WHERE?
WE ALL GOT OURS AT A NEW PLACE.
ETHAN'S.
YOU SURE SHE CAME THIS WAY?
NO.
SHE'LL BE OK.
BUFFY WOULD BE OK.
WHOEVER SHE IS NOW, SHE'S HELPLESS.
COME ON!
DO YOU HEAR THAT, MY FRIENDS?
SOMEWHERE OUT HERE IS THE TENDEREST MEAT
YOU'VE EVER TASTED.
AND ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND HER FIRST.
PRETTY, PRETTY.
HELLO?
ANYONE HOME?
GILES?
Giles: JANUS: ROMAN MYTHICAL GOD.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
PRIMARILY, THE DIVISION OF SELF.
MALE AND FEMALE.
LIGHT AND DARK.
CHUNKY AND CREAMY.
OH, NO, SORRY.
THAT'S PEANUT BUTTER.
WILLOW, GET OUT OF HERE NOW.
BUT--
NOW!
HELLO, ETHAN.
HELLO, RIPPER.
HA HA!
NO! OH! NO!
GAAAAH!
RRR!
UHH! UHH!
UHH!
BUFFY, ARE YOU OK?
AAH!
WHAT'S YOUR DEAL? TAKE A PILL.
HE'S--HE'S A VAMPIRE.
SHE'S GOT THIS THING WHERE SHE THINKS--
AW, FORGET IT.
IT'S OK.
ANGEL IS A GOOD VAMPIRE.
HE WOULD NEVER HURT YOU.
REALLY?
ABSOLUTELY.
HE'S OUR FRIEND.
IT'S STRANGE, BUT BEATING UP THAT PIRATE
GAVE ME A WEIRD SENSE OF CLOSURE.
Willow: GUYS!
WILLOW.
GUYS, YOU GOT TO GET INSIDE.
WE NEED A TRIAGE.
THIS WAY.
FIND AN OPEN WAREHOUSE.
LADIES, WE'RE ON THE MOVE.
WHAT?
NO HUG?
AREN'T YOU PLEASED TO SEE YOUR OLD MATE, RUPERT?
I'M JUST SURPRISED I DIDN'T GUESS
IT WAS YOU.
THIS HALLOWEEN STUNT STINKS OF ETHAN RAYNE.
YES, IT DOES, DOESN'T IT?
DON'T WISH TO BLOW MY OWN TRUMPET,
BUT IT'S GENIUS.
THE VERY EMBODIMENT OF BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
IT'S SICK, BRUTAL.
AND IT HARMS THE INNOCENT.
OH, AND WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE CHAMPION OF INNOCENCE
AND ALL THINGS PURE AND GOOD, RUPERT.
IT'S QUITE A LITTLE ACT
YOU'VE GOT GOING HERE, OLD MAN.
IT'S NO ACT.
IT'S WHO I AM.
WHO YOU ARE?
THE WATCHER?
SNIVELING, TWEED-CLAD GUARDIAN OF THE SLAYER AND HER KIN?
I THINK NOT.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, RUPERT,
AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF.
BUT THEY DON'T, DO THEY?
THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOU COME FROM.
BREAK THE SPELL, ETHAN.
THEN LEAVE THIS PLACE AND NEVER COME BACK.
WHY SHOULD I?
WHAT'S IN THE BARGAIN FOR ME?
YOU GET TO LIVE.
OH, RUPERT, YOU'RE SCARING--
OOH!
AAH!
OVER HERE!
CHECK IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER WAYS IN.
OK, JUST STAY HERE.
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
OH, FABOO, MORE CLINGING.
RRR!
GO!
RRR!
AND YOU SAID THE RIPPER WAS LONG GONE.
TELL ME HOW TO STOP THE SPELL.
SAY "PRETTY PLEASE."
OHH!
[SNICKERS]
Spike: LOOK AT YOU.
SHAKING...
TERRIFIED...
ALONE.
LOST LITTLE LAMB.
I LOVE IT.
BUFFY!
AAH!
[LAUGHS]
TELL ME HOW TO STOP THE SPELL.
JANUS.
BREAK THE STATUE.
UGH!
OOH!
WHAA!
NOW, THAT GUY, YOU CAN SHOOT.
WHAT THE...
HI, HONEY.
I'M HOME.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S GOOD TO BE ME.
UGH!
HEY, BUFF, WELCOME BACK.
YEAH, YOU, TOO.
YOU GUYS REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED?
IT WAS WAY CREEPY.
IT'S LIKE I WAS THERE, BUT I COULDN'T GET OUT.
YEAH, I KNOW THE FEELING.
THIS OUTFIT'S TOTALLY SKINTIGHT.
YOU OK?
YEAH.
HELLO?
IT FELT LIKE I WAS TALKING.
MY LIPS WERE MOVING AND--
GIVE IT UP, CORDY.
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET BETWEEN THOSE TWO.
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.
WELL, I GUESS YOU BETTER GET THEM BACK TO THEIR PARENTS.
YEAH. EVERYBODY SEEMS TO--
WHERE'S WILLOW?
WHO IS THAT GIRL?
TA-DA!
JUST LITTLE OLD 20th CENTURY ME.
YOU SURE YOU'RE OK?
I'LL LIVE.
I DON'T GET IT, BUFFY.
WHY'D YOU THINK I'D LIKE YOU BETTER DRESSED THAT WAY?
I JUST--I WANTED TO BE A REAL GIRL FOR ONCE.
THE KIND OF FANCY GIRL YOU LIKED WHEN YOU WERE MY AGE.
OH.
OH, WHAT?
I HATED THE GIRLS BACK THEN.
ESPECIALLY THE NOBLEWOMEN.
YOU DID.
THEY WERE JUST INCREDIBLY DULL.
SIMPERING MORONS, THE LOT OF THEM.
I ALWAYS WISHED I COULD MEET SOMEONE EXCITING...
INTERESTING.
REALLY.
INTERESTING HOW?
YOU KNOW HOW.
STILL, I HAD A REALLY HARD DAY,
AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TELL ME.
YOU'RE RIGHT,
I SHOULD.
DEFINITELY.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
GRRR! ARRGGH!