1 00:00:16,227 --> 00:00:19,967 We're approaching insertion target area, about a mile from your D.Z. 2 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,885 You ready, WD-40? 3 00:00:23,515 --> 00:00:26,200 I never felt more ready in my life. 4 00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:31,474 Oh, damn! What the hell-- Steele, are you crazy? 5 00:00:31,762 --> 00:00:35,406 Good afternoon, WD-40. 6 00:00:35,598 --> 00:00:38,570 We now begin "the free world's in double jeopardy" round of your mission. 7 00:00:38,762 --> 00:00:41,160 - He's a sadistic criminal mastermind... 8 00:00:41,352 --> 00:00:43,845 and international arms dealer who has brokered a deal... 9 00:00:43,941 --> 00:00:48,448 to sell a stolen Scorpion missile to a Middle Eastern terrorist cell. 10 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,654 The question is. Who is Rancor? 11 00:00:50,846 --> 00:00:52,956 That's right. General Derwood Rancor. 12 00:00:53,051 --> 00:00:56,791 So why don't you begin your mission. And good luck to you, WD-40. 13 00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,531 And don't forget, WD-40, as always, 14 00:01:00,723 --> 00:01:03,983 this tape will self-destruct in three seconds. 15 00:01:04,175 --> 00:01:08,682 Steele! 16 00:01:53,849 --> 00:01:56,534 General Rancor, your chopper's waiting. 17 00:01:56,726 --> 00:02:00,179 Fine. Be there in a minute. I ain't done with this one yet. 18 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,055 Talk to me, boy! 19 00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:08,042 He doesn't want to talk. Take him outside and shoot him. 20 00:02:18,207 --> 00:02:23,002 And when you shoot him, use the silencer. 21 00:02:39,112 --> 00:02:40,838 Thank you. Have a nice flight. 22 00:02:43,332 --> 00:02:45,057 Have a great flight. 23 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:46,976 - Enjoy destroying the world, sir. - Thank you, ma'am, I will. 24 00:02:49,565 --> 00:02:52,155 I'm going in there. 25 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:55,990 My God! Look at you. 26 00:02:56,182 --> 00:02:59,059 - You are such an incredible man. 27 00:03:00,689 --> 00:03:04,812 It's my job, darling. I do it for my country. 28 00:03:05,004 --> 00:03:08,649 Hmm? Oh. Good luck. 29 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,237 Luck's got nothing to do with it. 30 00:03:30,896 --> 00:03:33,773 Nothing can stop me now! 31 00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:38,472 Not even that sanctimonious secret agent Boy Scout Dick-- 32 00:03:38,664 --> 00:03:40,582 Y oo-hoo! 33 00:03:43,362 --> 00:03:45,184 Steele? 34 00:03:48,637 --> 00:03:51,322 - Oh, Dick, don't drop me! - Hold on! Whoa! Don't! 35 00:03:51,513 --> 00:03:55,254 - Grab my wrist! - Oh! 36 00:03:57,747 --> 00:04:02,158 Whoa! 37 00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:04,843 - Don't drop me, Dick! Don't drop me! 38 00:04:05,035 --> 00:04:08,679 - Honey? 39 00:04:29,105 --> 00:04:33,709 A man of intrigue He lives for the thrill 40 00:04:37,256 --> 00:04:42,338 Always has places to go and people to kill 41 00:04:44,736 --> 00:04:47,901 Danger is the game he plays 42 00:04:48,093 --> 00:04:52,120 And he holds every card 43 00:04:52,312 --> 00:04:54,997 'Cause if you wanna win 44 00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:58,737 You gotta spy hard 45 00:05:01,422 --> 00:05:06,217 A man of the world so suave and discreet 46 00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:13,889 He trips over the women piled up at his feet 47 00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:19,834 But evil's lurking 48 00:05:20,026 --> 00:05:24,437 So he's always on his guard 49 00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:27,410 'Cause if you're gonna spy 50 00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:32,685 You better spy hard 51 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:36,040 He's always there 52 00:05:36,232 --> 00:05:40,644 When the chips are beginning to fall 53 00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:44,000 He wouldn't care 54 00:05:44,191 --> 00:05:46,589 If they kicked him and grabbed him 55 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,603 And shot him and stabbed him 56 00:05:48,795 --> 00:05:52,343 And nailed both his ears to the wall 57 00:05:53,973 --> 00:05:56,371 Facing death every day 58 00:05:56,563 --> 00:05:59,726 Is a tough job for any man 59 00:06:01,165 --> 00:06:04,330 But his hours are flexible 60 00:06:04,618 --> 00:06:07,686 And he's got a great dental plan 61 00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:12,865 By the way if you walked in late 62 00:06:13,057 --> 00:06:16,700 Allow me to reiterate 63 00:06:16,892 --> 00:06:20,249 The name of this movie 64 00:06:20,441 --> 00:06:23,892 Is Spy Hard 65 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:27,920 They call it Spy Hard 66 00:06:28,112 --> 00:06:31,373 You're watching Spy Hard 67 00:06:31,661 --> 00:06:37,798 It's the theme from Spy Hard 68 00:08:01,035 --> 00:08:04,967 Sir, I hate to disturb you, but we're picking up something interesting on the compound... 69 00:08:05,158 --> 00:08:07,460 - infrared detection system. - Well, what is it? 70 00:08:07,652 --> 00:08:09,666 Oh, it's this really neat security system, sir. 71 00:08:09,858 --> 00:08:13,981 - It picks up the body heat on the intruders-- - Fine! What is it detecting? 72 00:08:14,173 --> 00:08:18,297 Oh, well, it looks like Agent Barbara Dahl, sir. 73 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:27,215 Barbara Dahl? 74 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,709 Hot damn! At last! 75 00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:31,722 Arm me. 76 00:08:33,352 --> 00:08:36,421 Y eah. Now, bring me the bait. 77 00:08:38,244 --> 00:08:40,065 Welcome, Miss Dahl. 78 00:08:40,161 --> 00:08:43,326 General Rancor would like to see you. Don't even think about it! 79 00:08:43,517 --> 00:08:46,011 Put the gun down! 80 00:08:51,381 --> 00:08:55,409 Move. Don't try anything funny. 81 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,093 Oh, you morons! 82 00:08:58,285 --> 00:09:00,875 Let go! Oh! Oh! 83 00:09:01,162 --> 00:09:04,422 - Well, look at you. 84 00:09:04,614 --> 00:09:06,820 Barbara Dahl. 85 00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:10,177 If you ain't the spitting image of your mama. 86 00:09:10,273 --> 00:09:15,259 Don't you talk about my mother, you hybrid curiosity. 87 00:09:15,451 --> 00:09:17,465 My mother was twice the man you are. 88 00:09:17,656 --> 00:09:19,766 Hey, lady, I think you're carrying... 89 00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:23,314 this "spitting image" thing a little bit too far. 90 00:09:23,602 --> 00:09:26,191 Now that I got Barbara Dahl, 91 00:09:26,383 --> 00:09:30,698 it's just a matter of time before Dick Steele comes to get her. 92 00:09:46,329 --> 00:09:48,247 Have you confirmed this transmission? 93 00:09:48,439 --> 00:09:51,028 I have. It's confirmed. It's Barbara Dahl. 94 00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:53,618 Who authorized Agent Barbara Dahl to go on this operation anyway? 95 00:09:53,905 --> 00:09:56,398 No one. She's working on her own. 96 00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:58,316 This one is personal, Coleman. 97 00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:02,344 Well, this personal mission may have cost a good agent her life... 98 00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,453 and put the entire free world in jeopardy. 99 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:07,139 - We must inform the director. 100 00:10:07,331 --> 00:10:09,824 This is the director. What is it, Coleman and Bishop? 101 00:10:10,112 --> 00:10:13,084 Sir, we've intercepted a very disturbing satellite transmission... 102 00:10:13,276 --> 00:10:15,386 from our listening post on the Rock of Gibraltar. 103 00:10:15,578 --> 00:10:17,688 - Well, what is it? - It's this really big rock... 104 00:10:17,879 --> 00:10:20,372 sticking out of the water on the south coast of Spain. 105 00:10:24,304 --> 00:10:26,126 What is the transmission? 106 00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:29,003 You will have to see it to believe it, sir. 107 00:10:40,798 --> 00:10:43,580 - You've got to put it on channel three. - No, four. 108 00:10:43,771 --> 00:10:46,935 - Switch it to VHS. - And take it off of cable. 109 00:10:47,127 --> 00:10:49,333 Put it on the monitor. 110 00:10:49,429 --> 00:10:52,498 And now this special message from Rancor Industries. 111 00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:54,799 She makes a pretty hood ornament, don't you think? 112 00:10:54,991 --> 00:11:00,074 - Rancor! - Y es, it is I, good ol' General Rancor. 113 00:11:00,265 --> 00:11:03,333 I'm back, big as life and twice as ugly. 114 00:11:03,525 --> 00:11:06,019 - But Steele blew him up! - Apparently not. 115 00:11:06,211 --> 00:11:08,704 You did everything except eat me, 116 00:11:08,896 --> 00:11:10,621 and I'm still alive. 117 00:11:10,813 --> 00:11:13,307 All Steele did was blow off a couple of arms. 118 00:11:13,499 --> 00:11:15,417 That's no biggie, no big thing. 119 00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:17,335 Now I got plenty of arms! 120 00:11:17,527 --> 00:11:21,842 Big arms. Pretty arms. something. 121 00:11:25,966 --> 00:11:29,034 Your pretty little agent is now part... 122 00:11:29,226 --> 00:11:31,527 of the nose cone on top of my missile. 123 00:11:31,719 --> 00:11:35,938 This missile will be launched in 36 hours... 124 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,911 - and nothing will stop me! - He's a madman! 125 00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:42,172 Only thing is, I'm missing one little chip... 126 00:11:42,364 --> 00:11:46,103 that controls my satellite, and, daggone, I want it back! 127 00:11:46,391 --> 00:11:49,652 Now you hand me my chip, and I'll give you back your agent. 128 00:11:49,844 --> 00:11:53,199 Good God. He must be stopped! 129 00:11:53,391 --> 00:11:56,268 Dick Steele couldn't stop me 15 years ago, 130 00:11:56,460 --> 00:12:00,776 and all the dicks you've got won't stop me now! 131 00:12:00,968 --> 00:12:02,789 Apparently, he hasn't seen the size... 132 00:12:02,885 --> 00:12:04,803 of some of our newer members! 133 00:12:04,995 --> 00:12:07,776 - With the chip, he rules the world. 134 00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:11,803 - Without the chip, he destroys the world and-- 135 00:12:11,995 --> 00:12:15,448 - Would you practice someplace else? I'm trying to think! 136 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,667 - The world? Ha! 137 00:12:19,859 --> 00:12:22,065 We all know what General Rancor really wants. 138 00:12:22,256 --> 00:12:24,462 - Steele. - That's right! 139 00:12:24,654 --> 00:12:27,722 - And we're going to give Steele to him. - Steele? 140 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:32,134 Have you forgotten what happened the last time Steele was placed in the line of fire? 141 00:12:47,861 --> 00:12:51,121 We are stopping here. Traveller wants to mingle with the crowd. 142 00:13:16,438 --> 00:13:20,082 - Oh! Oh, my God! - Steele, what the hell are you doing? Get off me! 143 00:13:20,273 --> 00:13:23,246 - Get him in there! Get him in the limo! Cover him! 144 00:13:23,438 --> 00:13:27,274 Go, go, go! Go! Go, go! 145 00:13:33,124 --> 00:13:35,521 The bridge is out. 146 00:13:35,712 --> 00:13:38,494 Do not enter. The bridge is out. 147 00:13:38,686 --> 00:13:42,330 The bridge is out, damn it! Stop this car! 148 00:14:10,523 --> 00:14:12,825 - Stay away from the window, sir. 149 00:14:13,016 --> 00:14:15,318 Steele, do something! 150 00:14:33,346 --> 00:14:34,880 Good job, Steele! Thanks! 151 00:14:35,072 --> 00:14:38,045 - It's about time that jerk did something right. 152 00:14:38,237 --> 00:14:41,018 - Hang on, Mr. President! 153 00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:52,813 The bridge is out. Do not enter. 154 00:14:54,252 --> 00:14:58,662 Thank God our president was one hell of a good swimmer. 155 00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:03,458 Nonetheless... there's only one man for this operation. 156 00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:05,855 Agent WD-40. Steele. 157 00:15:05,951 --> 00:15:07,964 Dick Steele. 158 00:15:08,156 --> 00:15:12,376 Dick, Dick, Dick Steele. 159 00:15:12,568 --> 00:15:14,870 Dick. 160 00:15:15,062 --> 00:15:19,376 Oh, Dick, that was incredible. 161 00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:21,486 - Thank you. 162 00:15:21,678 --> 00:15:23,596 Don't thank me, darling. 163 00:15:23,788 --> 00:15:27,432 The art of lovemaking takes two. 164 00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:31,843 Sometimes three or four, depending on how well you do at the crap tables. 165 00:15:32,035 --> 00:15:33,473 - Fore! - Well, my putter's up. 166 00:15:33,569 --> 00:15:35,679 - Fore! - Well, my putter's up. 167 00:15:35,870 --> 00:15:38,556 Oh, Dick, I'm exhausted. 168 00:15:38,748 --> 00:15:43,542 - You are insatiable. - Fifteen minutes to tee- off time. 169 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:47,378 I think there's something you and I should talk about openly and honestly... 170 00:15:47,570 --> 00:15:49,679 before I head off to my golf game. 171 00:15:49,871 --> 00:15:53,036 - What is it, Dick? - It's a game. 172 00:15:53,132 --> 00:15:56,009 People dress funny. Hit a little ball with clubs. 173 00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:58,118 Drinking is involved. 174 00:15:58,310 --> 00:16:00,228 Is something wrong, Dick? 175 00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:02,626 Whatever we've had between us, 176 00:16:02,722 --> 00:16:05,503 I think it's only fair that you know my heart still belongs... 177 00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:08,187 to the girl I fell in love with years ago. 178 00:16:08,379 --> 00:16:10,585 Victoria. She fell off a cliff. 179 00:16:10,777 --> 00:16:13,462 - She died. - Yes, I know. 180 00:16:13,654 --> 00:16:15,571 I was just getting to that. 181 00:16:15,763 --> 00:16:18,640 But after Victoria Dahl, well, I don't think... 182 00:16:18,832 --> 00:16:21,517 I'll ever find room for another woman in this... 183 00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,585 ripped-apart, torn-up, scarred, burned-out... 184 00:16:24,777 --> 00:16:27,079 Iump in my chest... 185 00:16:27,271 --> 00:16:29,956 where a human heart once beat. 186 00:16:30,148 --> 00:16:33,216 I hope you understand what I'm trying to say to you. 187 00:16:33,408 --> 00:16:36,285 Oh, I'll live, Mr. Steele. 188 00:16:36,477 --> 00:16:40,216 It's your life I'm worried about. 189 00:16:40,408 --> 00:16:42,710 I'm glad you understand. 190 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:46,834 - I know how much these things can hurt. 191 00:16:47,026 --> 00:16:48,751 Mr. Steele. 192 00:16:48,943 --> 00:16:51,245 [ Woman ] Hi, Dick. 193 00:16:55,656 --> 00:16:57,382 - Hi, Mr. Steele! - Good morning, Mrs. Hudmucker. 194 00:16:57,574 --> 00:17:00,259 Fore! - Watch out. 195 00:17:04,479 --> 00:17:06,780 - You all right? - Thank you. 196 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,657 A little help, please? Thank you. 197 00:17:12,246 --> 00:17:16,753 Dinatelli foursome to starter's window. Mr. Jack Dinatelli. 198 00:17:16,945 --> 00:17:20,302 - Duck! 199 00:17:24,904 --> 00:17:27,398 - Dick, wait! 200 00:17:27,494 --> 00:17:31,713 Well, Steve! 201 00:17:31,904 --> 00:17:35,549 - Steve Bishop. You look great. - Thank you. We go back a long way, huh? 202 00:17:35,741 --> 00:17:37,083 Yeah. 203 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,919 - Let's have a drink. - Okay. 204 00:17:41,111 --> 00:17:43,029 Just sit right there, Steve. 205 00:17:43,221 --> 00:17:46,002 - The usual, Mr. Steele? - You betcha. 206 00:17:46,194 --> 00:17:48,303 - Well, how's everything at the agency? - Ah, Dick... 207 00:17:48,494 --> 00:17:51,564 it used to be such fun killin' a few spies... 208 00:17:51,659 --> 00:17:54,153 with gas from a banana grenade. 209 00:17:54,345 --> 00:17:57,509 But now, huh, it's all bureaucratic politics. 210 00:17:57,605 --> 00:18:00,386 You gotta fill out 20 forms in triplicate... 211 00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:02,400 just to take a piss! 212 00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,620 - Boy, that was fun. 213 00:18:20,716 --> 00:18:23,784 - Y eah. - Thank you! 214 00:18:23,976 --> 00:18:26,182 Oh, man, they don't do stuff like that at the agency any more. 215 00:18:26,374 --> 00:18:28,292 I'm sorry to hear that, Steve. 216 00:18:28,484 --> 00:18:30,785 - Uh, Dickie... there is something. - Relax, sugar. 217 00:18:30,881 --> 00:18:33,086 Steve, I'm out of the Service. 218 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,868 There's a plot to launch a satellite. 219 00:18:35,964 --> 00:18:39,799 - Now, I'm out of the Service. Talk about something else. 220 00:18:39,991 --> 00:18:42,293 - Bishop. - Bishop here. 221 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,307 - Got a new lead. Gonna need you here. - Uh-huh. Yeah. 222 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,225 - And get a dozen eggs and a gallon of milk. - Okay. 223 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,142 - I'll leave right away. - Thank you, sir. 224 00:18:48,334 --> 00:18:50,348 - No more headsets. 225 00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:52,458 Ear buttons. They put the receiver right in your head now. 226 00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:55,526 - I gotta get back to the hotel. 227 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:58,595 - The director wants you to see this. - I'm not interested, Steve. 228 00:18:58,787 --> 00:19:01,280 Please, Dickie. Take a look at the tape. 229 00:19:01,376 --> 00:19:01,472 Please, Dickie. Take a look at the tape. 230 00:19:01,472 --> 00:19:03,198 It'll change your mind. 231 00:19:18,446 --> 00:19:20,746 Hmm-hmm. 232 00:19:32,350 --> 00:19:34,748 She makes a pretty hood ornament, don't you think? 233 00:19:35,036 --> 00:19:39,926 [ Chuckles ] Yes, it is I, good ol' General Rancor. 234 00:19:40,118 --> 00:19:44,625 I'm back, big as life and twice as ugly. 235 00:19:47,885 --> 00:19:50,187 - All Steele did was blow off a couple of arms. - Rancor! 236 00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:54,214 - That's no biggie, no big thing. Now I got plenty of arms. - He can't be alive. 237 00:19:54,406 --> 00:19:57,379 - Your pretty Barbara Dahl-- - My God! 238 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,777 Barbara Dahl. 239 00:20:02,845 --> 00:20:06,873 Victoria... why would your daughter join the agency... 240 00:20:07,065 --> 00:20:09,079 knowing what happened to you? 241 00:20:09,271 --> 00:20:10,900 Why? 242 00:20:12,243 --> 00:20:13,969 Why? 243 00:20:14,257 --> 00:20:16,654 Why, why, why, why? 244 00:20:16,846 --> 00:20:22,216 Victoria Dahl... you were the only woman I ever loved. 245 00:20:22,408 --> 00:20:26,340 Raindrops keep fallin' on my head 246 00:20:26,532 --> 00:20:31,806 And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed 247 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,683 - Nothin' seems to fit 248 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:39,861 Those raindrops are fallin' on my head They keep fallin' 249 00:20:40,053 --> 00:20:45,423 So I just did me some talkin' to the sun 250 00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:50,985 And I said I didn't like the way he got things done 251 00:20:51,273 --> 00:20:53,670 Sleepin' on the job 252 00:20:53,862 --> 00:20:57,602 - Those raindrops are fallin' on my head 253 00:20:57,698 --> 00:21:02,205 They keep fallin' But there's one thing 254 00:21:02,396 --> 00:21:04,314 I know 255 00:21:04,506 --> 00:21:08,055 The blues they sent to meet me 256 00:21:08,247 --> 00:21:10,931 Won't defeat me 257 00:21:11,123 --> 00:21:14,959 It won't be long 'til happiness 258 00:21:15,151 --> 00:21:17,261 Steps up to greet me 259 00:21:24,261 --> 00:21:26,179 Raindrops keep fallin' on my head 260 00:21:26,371 --> 00:21:30,015 But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red 261 00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:33,563 For today's top story, we now join Kelly Lange live downtown. 262 00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:36,056 Kelly Lange here for Channel 3 lsland News. 263 00:21:36,248 --> 00:21:40,564 A tragic accident has claimed the life of a businessman identified as Steven Bishop, 264 00:21:40,755 --> 00:21:45,550 when a huge grand piano fell from the 17th floor of the Mayan Hotel... 265 00:21:45,646 --> 00:21:45,742 when a huge grand piano fell from the 17th floor of the Mayan Hotel... 266 00:21:45,742 --> 00:21:47,947 directly behind me and landed on his car. 267 00:21:48,043 --> 00:21:49,866 - An accident? - It seems the man was-- 268 00:21:49,961 --> 00:21:52,071 - Having a kid at 60, that's an accident. 269 00:21:52,166 --> 00:21:55,619 Having a piano fall on you, that's... bad luck. 270 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:59,263 We're told that they had to remove the driver's body from the oil pan of the car. 271 00:21:59,455 --> 00:22:01,660 - Police are ruling this as an accident. - Operator. 272 00:22:01,852 --> 00:22:04,058 Operator, get me Washington. 273 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:06,072 - George? - D.C. 274 00:22:11,442 --> 00:22:14,415 I'll take care of the luggage, just some overnight things. 275 00:22:27,264 --> 00:22:29,950 - Bonjour, monsieur. - ...no parking. 276 00:22:30,142 --> 00:22:33,211 Do not leave your baggage unattended. 277 00:22:33,403 --> 00:22:36,279 It looks like you could use a hand. 278 00:22:39,348 --> 00:22:42,991 I'm afraid I'm pretty clumsy. 279 00:22:43,183 --> 00:22:46,923 - You must be headed to Los Angeles. - How do you know that? 280 00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:51,430 - It's written on your ticket. - Oh! Thank you. 281 00:22:51,526 --> 00:22:53,732 You are welcome. 282 00:22:53,924 --> 00:22:56,130 Have a nice flight, and I wish you adieu. 283 00:22:56,321 --> 00:22:59,678 Oh, thank you, but I'm quite satisfied with the 'do I have. 284 00:23:06,870 --> 00:23:10,034 If you want to see me again, turn around now. 285 00:23:19,624 --> 00:23:21,926 Aha. 286 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:33,624 [ Flight Attendant ] It's right here on the aisle. 287 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,653 [ Man ] No, no, no. I asked for a window seat. 288 00:23:37,940 --> 00:23:41,009 I can't be getting up and down just because somebody wants to be getting in and out. 289 00:23:41,105 --> 00:23:45,228 - I have too much to do. I always have a window seat. - Excuse me, sir. 290 00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:49,256 - I was wondering, do you mind? - No problem. Please, be my guest. 291 00:23:49,448 --> 00:23:52,037 - Actually, I prefer an aisle seat. - Excuse me. Excuse me. 292 00:23:52,228 --> 00:23:55,297 - Be my guest. Here. - Here, let me help you with these. 293 00:23:55,489 --> 00:23:59,996 I hope that this will be the last of the conversations on this trip. 294 00:24:00,092 --> 00:24:01,530 Your ticket. 295 00:24:09,106 --> 00:24:10,928 Take it easy with that luggage! 296 00:24:13,422 --> 00:24:16,778 Excuse me, sir. Could you put your tray table up for takeoff, please? 297 00:24:16,970 --> 00:24:20,614 No, the tray table stays down, please. Thank you very much. 298 00:24:20,806 --> 00:24:23,875 You've made things inconvenient enough as it is. 299 00:24:23,971 --> 00:24:26,176 - What-- What is this? 300 00:24:26,367 --> 00:24:28,190 Is this yours? Do you mind? 301 00:24:28,382 --> 00:24:31,738 - It's my briefcase. Let me make more room for you. 302 00:24:37,779 --> 00:24:41,423 Excuse me. Is this seat taken? 303 00:24:41,615 --> 00:24:43,341 Please. 304 00:24:43,533 --> 00:24:45,259 Thank you. 305 00:24:48,808 --> 00:24:53,123 Do you always take matters into your own hands? 306 00:24:53,219 --> 00:24:56,479 Things often end up in my hands. 307 00:24:56,671 --> 00:24:59,164 And I bet your hands end up in a lot of things. 308 00:24:59,356 --> 00:25:01,082 Let's just say, my hands and things... 309 00:25:01,274 --> 00:25:03,480 are often in the same place at the same time. 310 00:25:05,014 --> 00:25:06,835 Could I get you something to drink? 311 00:25:07,027 --> 00:25:11,343 We'll have dry Minoli and Russos, on the rocks, 312 00:25:11,535 --> 00:25:13,261 stirred, not beaten, twist of lemon, 313 00:25:13,453 --> 00:25:15,658 in chilled glasses, not frozen. 314 00:25:15,850 --> 00:25:18,343 And two of those curly little straws. 315 00:25:52,674 --> 00:25:55,072 Thirty hours, 11 minutes and 10 seconds. 316 00:25:55,264 --> 00:25:57,660 Thirty hours, 11 minutes and 8 seconds. 317 00:25:57,852 --> 00:25:59,770 Thirty hours, 11 minutes and 5 seconds. 318 00:26:04,182 --> 00:26:07,442 [ Director Over Intercom ] Miss Cheevus, when Agent Steele arrives, send him right in. 319 00:26:07,634 --> 00:26:09,360 Mm-hmm. 320 00:26:16,456 --> 00:26:20,484 - Miss Cheevus, is the director available? - No, he's married. 321 00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:24,320 - Oh, you kidder. 322 00:26:24,511 --> 00:26:29,403 Miss Cheevus, you wouldn't be trying to make things hard for me? 323 00:26:29,595 --> 00:26:32,567 Oh, Dick, if only I could. 324 00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:36,787 But you know you and I would work so well together deep undercover. 325 00:26:36,978 --> 00:26:42,061 You know the agency's rules about secrecy. They're very... rigid. 326 00:26:42,252 --> 00:26:46,185 - Yes, and we wouldn't want to blow it, would we? 327 00:26:46,376 --> 00:26:48,294 Why don't you two just get a motel room? 328 00:26:48,581 --> 00:26:50,979 I need you in here now, Steele! 329 00:27:20,324 --> 00:27:24,543 Miss Cheevus, wasn't the director in the office here? 330 00:27:24,734 --> 00:27:28,379 [ Miss Cheevus Over Intercom ] He just buzzed me from in there, my little pumpy - whumpy. 331 00:27:28,571 --> 00:27:30,488 I'll just sit down and wait for him. 332 00:27:48,996 --> 00:27:52,736 Great Scott! Steele, see a doctor! 333 00:27:52,928 --> 00:27:56,572 Good show, Steele. 334 00:27:56,763 --> 00:28:00,600 I hid for two weeks from my ex-wife's attorney in this outfit. 335 00:28:00,792 --> 00:28:02,997 It's good to see you, WD-40. 336 00:28:03,093 --> 00:28:05,010 You're always my most noble warrior. 337 00:28:05,202 --> 00:28:07,408 - Glad to find you, sir. - Yes, yes, well, 338 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,189 we have to find someone else far more important now. 339 00:28:10,381 --> 00:28:13,833 - You saw the tape with Rancor? - I can't believe he's alive. 340 00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:16,231 He's a madman. He wants the world. 341 00:28:16,422 --> 00:28:19,587 But I'll be perfectly frank, Dick. He wants you first. 342 00:28:19,875 --> 00:28:23,423 He knew I'd send you the tape, especially with Barbara Dahl on it. 343 00:28:25,053 --> 00:28:27,163 Barbara Dahl. 344 00:28:27,355 --> 00:28:30,039 Looks just like Victoria when she was alive. 345 00:28:30,135 --> 00:28:32,149 We don't have time for flashbacks. 346 00:28:32,341 --> 00:28:35,602 Rancor wants the world. Fortunately, he wants to kill you first. 347 00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:39,629 That may give us needed time. Barbara Dahl's last transmission was from Los Angeles. 348 00:28:39,821 --> 00:28:42,219 We couldn't hold the trace long enough to pinpoint her. 349 00:28:42,410 --> 00:28:46,821 Find her, you find him, you find the rocket. 350 00:28:47,013 --> 00:28:49,507 For the rest of it, your guess is as good as mine. 351 00:28:49,698 --> 00:28:53,151 - Miss Cheevus, tell Noggin we're coming. 352 00:28:53,535 --> 00:28:55,260 - Hello, Noggin. - Steele. 353 00:28:55,452 --> 00:28:58,904 Good to see you again. Do you have a refill of that deathray laser watch? 354 00:28:59,096 --> 00:29:00,823 - Ah, a new air freshener? - Careful! 355 00:29:00,919 --> 00:29:02,165 - Ah, a new air freshener? - Careful! 356 00:29:02,357 --> 00:29:04,274 Whoo-hoo Oooh 357 00:29:04,466 --> 00:29:07,056 Not again. Oh! 358 00:29:07,247 --> 00:29:09,645 Give me! 359 00:29:09,837 --> 00:29:11,754 Well, this looks like a clever contraption. 360 00:29:11,946 --> 00:29:14,919 A mini-- A mini mobile crime lab? 361 00:29:15,111 --> 00:29:17,413 - It's a briefcase. - I know. What does it do? 362 00:29:17,509 --> 00:29:20,960 It holds important papers, files, pens and a calculator. 363 00:29:21,056 --> 00:29:23,454 I understand. But these numbers here, are they in a certain sequence? 364 00:29:23,646 --> 00:29:25,851 The briefcase is timed to explode? 365 00:29:26,043 --> 00:29:29,303 No, it's a lock so people other than myself can't open my briefcase. 366 00:29:29,495 --> 00:29:32,468 Very complex contemporary technology. 367 00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:36,783 All right, Steele, this is your standard, state-of-the- art field kit with three additions. 368 00:29:36,975 --> 00:29:41,003 This is our latest development: microchip Z-ray lenses, 369 00:29:41,195 --> 00:29:43,113 capable of penetrating a layer of clothing. 370 00:29:43,401 --> 00:29:45,605 You'll be able to see if an enemy is carrying a weapon. 371 00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:47,140 Oh. Director? 372 00:29:47,332 --> 00:29:51,743 Oh, now, Steele... should you find your hands bound, 373 00:29:51,839 --> 00:29:57,017 what you can do is just reach down and pull this pin with your teeth. 374 00:29:59,703 --> 00:30:03,346 Put the tube in your mouth, and squeeze and it will emit a laser beam... 375 00:30:03,538 --> 00:30:06,319 powerful enough to cut steel. 376 00:30:06,415 --> 00:30:08,238 Fire in the hole, Director. 377 00:30:08,429 --> 00:30:10,922 - Huh? Oh. - Thank you. 378 00:30:15,238 --> 00:30:17,060 Oh, and one more thing. 379 00:30:17,348 --> 00:30:19,073 This micro-detonator has a built- in timer... 380 00:30:19,265 --> 00:30:21,567 set to explode 30 seconds after you plant it. 381 00:30:21,759 --> 00:30:24,156 It has enough power to blow up a two-story building, 382 00:30:24,348 --> 00:30:26,074 - so be careful. - Fantastic. 383 00:30:26,266 --> 00:30:28,279 All right. Well, here we go and, uh-- 384 00:30:28,375 --> 00:30:31,444 - Oh, the glasses. - Yeah. Thank you. 385 00:30:31,636 --> 00:30:33,458 Good to see you again, Noggin. 386 00:30:44,294 --> 00:30:46,500 Bienvenidos a Los Angeles. 387 00:30:46,691 --> 00:30:48,706 Welcome to Los Angeles. 388 00:30:48,897 --> 00:30:50,815 Ciudad de los angeles. 389 00:30:51,007 --> 00:30:53,020 City of the angels. 390 00:30:53,212 --> 00:30:55,130 ?Dónde esta Maria? 391 00:30:55,322 --> 00:30:57,048 Where is Maria? 392 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,734 Maria esta en la biblioteca. 393 00:30:59,926 --> 00:31:01,651 Maria is in the library. 394 00:31:01,843 --> 00:31:04,912 - Do you have a lighter? - I use matches. 395 00:31:05,104 --> 00:31:07,597 Does your mother know you smoke? 396 00:31:07,693 --> 00:31:07,789 Does your mother know you smoke? 397 00:31:07,789 --> 00:31:10,378 Y es, but I don't inhale. 398 00:31:10,569 --> 00:31:13,926 - Kabul. - Uh... 399 00:31:14,118 --> 00:31:16,707 I'm Kabul. Agent WD-40? 400 00:31:16,899 --> 00:31:18,912 Get in, get in. 401 00:31:19,104 --> 00:31:21,022 In the car. 402 00:31:24,475 --> 00:31:27,159 Hello. Excuse me. Ha! 403 00:31:27,351 --> 00:31:30,324 Our operatives believe you may already be in grave danger. 404 00:31:30,516 --> 00:31:34,065 Please take a look at this, Mr. Steele. 405 00:31:34,257 --> 00:31:36,270 In that file is a photo of Desiree More. 406 00:31:36,461 --> 00:31:40,681 She's an expert trained in karate, kung fu and is a crack shot. Be on your guard. 407 00:31:40,777 --> 00:31:43,270 Rancor may have sent her to take you out. 408 00:31:43,462 --> 00:31:46,243 She likes easy-listening and guys who share their feelings. 409 00:31:46,435 --> 00:31:51,038 Her measurements: 36-24-36-22. 410 00:31:52,668 --> 00:31:55,641 Aye, and for God sakes, be careful, WD-40. 411 00:31:55,833 --> 00:31:59,189 One time I got two cousins that got salmonella poisoning in this hotel. 412 00:32:19,135 --> 00:32:22,396 Ah, sure looked like her. 413 00:32:22,588 --> 00:32:25,464 But you can't be too sure. 414 00:32:25,656 --> 00:32:28,341 Y eah, almost positive. 415 00:32:28,533 --> 00:32:30,260 Mm-hmm. 416 00:32:31,602 --> 00:32:33,329 Drink? 417 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,013 - Only when I'm thirsty. - Tap water okay? 418 00:32:36,205 --> 00:32:38,507 Poured, not decantered. 419 00:32:38,698 --> 00:32:40,329 Sometimes you see a woman you'd... 420 00:32:40,521 --> 00:32:42,246 just love to have kill ya. 421 00:32:42,438 --> 00:32:45,795 But timing is everything, so that was not going to be today. 422 00:32:45,986 --> 00:32:48,000 Says who? 423 00:32:48,288 --> 00:32:50,877 She's pretty smart. I decided to play it casual. 424 00:32:51,164 --> 00:32:53,850 Casual is overrated. 425 00:32:57,015 --> 00:32:58,837 Oops. 426 00:33:07,180 --> 00:33:09,193 I think the game is over, Mr. Steele. 427 00:33:09,385 --> 00:33:11,687 You're gonna look like Swiss cheese when they find you. 428 00:33:11,974 --> 00:33:15,811 Oh. That's no Gouda. 429 00:33:48,607 --> 00:33:51,195 "Coca Cabana." 430 00:33:56,470 --> 00:33:59,538 - I'll be back for you. - Where are you going? 431 00:33:59,730 --> 00:34:01,744 In my country we have a saying: 432 00:34:01,936 --> 00:34:04,142 "A man who rides a camel is rich, 433 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:07,210 but a man who drives a Ferrari can get lucky. 434 00:34:09,991 --> 00:34:13,732 - Oh, gee, I am so sorry. 435 00:34:13,923 --> 00:34:15,649 - What's your phone number? - Loser. 436 00:34:15,841 --> 00:34:17,759 Oh, thank you. 437 00:34:17,951 --> 00:34:20,348 Oh, like, look at what you've done. 438 00:34:20,540 --> 00:34:22,842 End of the line, pal. 439 00:34:23,034 --> 00:34:24,759 Uh... 440 00:34:39,336 --> 00:34:41,829 Hey, goombah! 441 00:34:42,020 --> 00:34:44,226 Huh? 442 00:34:49,788 --> 00:34:52,281 Well, well, if it isn't Agent Steele. 443 00:34:53,816 --> 00:34:57,364 Excuse me. Uh, do you have a light? 444 00:34:59,953 --> 00:35:03,022 Y eah, sure. I got a light. 445 00:35:06,282 --> 00:35:09,255 Ow. Ow. Ow. 446 00:35:18,557 --> 00:35:20,379 Very good. 447 00:35:20,571 --> 00:35:22,968 Well, remind me never to light your cigarette. 448 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,270 You don't lose guys like that for long. 449 00:35:25,366 --> 00:35:27,380 Let's get the bus. We'll be safe there. 450 00:35:29,969 --> 00:35:32,558 - Transfer? Uh, no, thank you. 451 00:35:35,339 --> 00:35:38,504 Mmm, nice dress. 452 00:35:42,723 --> 00:35:44,545 Next stop: 453 00:35:44,737 --> 00:35:46,847 Sunset Boulevard. 454 00:35:47,039 --> 00:35:50,203 I guess it's Sunset Boulevard. 455 00:35:57,970 --> 00:36:00,368 Pop quiz, hotshot. 456 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,382 Someone on the bus without a transfer. 457 00:36:02,574 --> 00:36:06,793 He won't pay the fare. What do you do? What do you do? 458 00:36:06,984 --> 00:36:08,711 Stop the bus and let him off? 459 00:36:08,902 --> 00:36:12,931 Negatory, honcho, because he cut the brake line. 460 00:36:26,643 --> 00:36:29,041 Excusez-moi, monsieur. 461 00:37:33,483 --> 00:37:35,113 That was nice. Nicely done. 462 00:37:35,209 --> 00:37:36,552 That was nice. Nicely done. 463 00:37:36,744 --> 00:37:38,661 Thank you. Thank you. 464 00:37:38,853 --> 00:37:41,826 Next stop: Melrose. I think. 465 00:37:42,114 --> 00:37:45,183 Well, you must be "fameeshed." Let's mangez. 466 00:37:45,374 --> 00:37:47,675 That sounds good, but I'm hungry. 467 00:37:47,867 --> 00:37:49,593 Let's eat first. 468 00:37:52,662 --> 00:37:55,443 - Here you go. You both enjoy yourselves. 469 00:37:55,730 --> 00:37:59,183 - Brian will be right here to take your drink order. 470 00:37:59,375 --> 00:38:02,348 We shared an airplane, a drink. 471 00:38:02,540 --> 00:38:05,512 We've been chased, bussed, seated, but... 472 00:38:05,704 --> 00:38:08,677 I still don't really know you. 473 00:38:08,869 --> 00:38:12,416 I'm Bud Fudlacker. I have a small mail- order business. 474 00:38:12,608 --> 00:38:14,718 I travel with the American Gladiators, 475 00:38:14,910 --> 00:38:17,403 I'm 55, I like small appliances... 476 00:38:17,499 --> 00:38:19,322 and I do tax accounting on the side. 477 00:38:19,513 --> 00:38:22,581 Let me guess. You are Dick Steele, 478 00:38:22,773 --> 00:38:26,034 Agent WD-40 with the Secret Service. 479 00:38:26,130 --> 00:38:29,774 You are 52, you like big screen TVs... 480 00:38:29,965 --> 00:38:32,267 and you want to stop General Rancor. 481 00:38:32,459 --> 00:38:35,144 That could describe a thousand guys. 482 00:38:35,336 --> 00:38:37,062 Tell me about you. 483 00:38:37,253 --> 00:38:40,994 I like loose-fitting clothes, and I drive a '69 Pinto. 484 00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:44,446 [ Chuckles ] Hi, I'm Brian. May I take your drink orders, please? 485 00:38:44,638 --> 00:38:47,898 - I'll have-- - A dry Minoli and Russo on the rocks. 486 00:38:48,090 --> 00:38:50,392 Stirred, not beaten. 487 00:38:50,583 --> 00:38:54,227 With a twist. In a chilled glass, not frozen. 488 00:38:54,419 --> 00:38:57,680 With two of those curly little straws. 489 00:38:57,871 --> 00:38:59,502 Be right back. 490 00:39:01,420 --> 00:39:03,817 Tell me, who are you? 491 00:39:04,104 --> 00:39:07,365 Why don't you use your... 492 00:39:07,557 --> 00:39:10,721 Iegendary skills, and guess? 493 00:39:10,913 --> 00:39:14,941 You carry a UB-21 Schnauzer with a Gnab silencer. That's K.G.B. 494 00:39:15,133 --> 00:39:18,106 You prefer an H&K over an A.K. Your surveillance technique is N.S.A. 495 00:39:18,298 --> 00:39:21,078 Your I.D. is C.I.A. You received your Ph.D. at NYU. 496 00:39:21,270 --> 00:39:25,873 Traded in your G.T.O. for a B.M.W. You listen to CDs by R.E.M. and S.T.P. 497 00:39:26,065 --> 00:39:29,901 And you'd like to see J.F.K. in his B.V.D.s, getting down with O.P.P. 498 00:39:30,092 --> 00:39:34,216 And you probably put the toilet paper back on the roll with the paper on the inside. 499 00:39:34,408 --> 00:39:36,229 Hmm. 500 00:39:36,421 --> 00:39:40,066 Here's to your remarkable powers of observation, Mr. Steele. 501 00:39:40,258 --> 00:39:44,860 I am Agent 3.14, Veronique Ukrinsky. 502 00:39:45,052 --> 00:39:46,778 My father is the professor. 503 00:39:46,970 --> 00:39:50,902 Oh, yes, I know. The megachip. 504 00:39:51,094 --> 00:39:54,354 When he found out he was making the chip for Rancor, and not for the U.S., 505 00:39:54,450 --> 00:39:56,752 he escaped with it, and he is in hiding. 506 00:39:56,943 --> 00:39:58,766 In hiding? Where? 507 00:39:58,957 --> 00:40:00,876 He would not take the chance in telling me where he was headed, 508 00:40:01,067 --> 00:40:04,615 but he said, "The pendant-- 509 00:40:04,807 --> 00:40:10,177 Follow the path of your pendant to find me." 510 00:40:10,368 --> 00:40:14,588 Hmm... haven't seen too many like these. 511 00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:16,507 - Pendant. - Pendant. 512 00:40:16,698 --> 00:40:18,232 - Pendant. - Pendant. 513 00:40:18,424 --> 00:40:21,685 - Pendant. - We don't have much time, WD-40. 514 00:40:21,780 --> 00:40:24,178 Sooner or later, Rancor will find him. 515 00:40:24,370 --> 00:40:28,397 - I'll order our food to go. - Oh, Dick, I am so worried about my father. 516 00:40:28,589 --> 00:40:31,658 What shall we do, huh? What shall we do? 517 00:40:33,864 --> 00:40:38,370 It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished them well 518 00:40:38,562 --> 00:40:43,454 You could see that Pierre did truly love the mademoiselle 519 00:40:45,658 --> 00:40:51,125 And now the young monsieur and madame have rung the chapel bell 520 00:40:51,221 --> 00:40:53,042 "C'est la vie" said the old folks 521 00:40:53,234 --> 00:40:55,824 It goes to show you never can tell 522 00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:06,852 Excuse me. Do you have reser. 523 00:41:07,044 --> 00:41:10,208 - Steele's here somewhere. 524 00:41:10,304 --> 00:41:13,852 Rancor wants him dead. Find him. 525 00:41:16,825 --> 00:41:18,742 - Dance time is over. Cigarettes? Cigars? 526 00:41:18,934 --> 00:41:20,757 - There he goes. Kill him! - Throwing knife? 527 00:41:20,948 --> 00:41:23,826 Cigarettes? Cigars? Throwing knife? 528 00:41:24,017 --> 00:41:25,456 Thanks. 529 00:41:25,648 --> 00:41:28,044 Cigarettes? Cigars? 530 00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:31,881 - Whoops. 531 00:41:32,169 --> 00:41:33,895 Why? 532 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,526 Quick. Get this up against the door. 533 00:41:49,909 --> 00:41:52,018 I got an idea. 534 00:41:52,210 --> 00:41:54,224 This is a picture of my father. 535 00:41:54,416 --> 00:41:57,389 If we get separated, find him, save him. 536 00:41:59,882 --> 00:42:01,896 Why? 537 00:42:02,088 --> 00:42:06,020 - Go! Go, go, go! 538 00:42:06,212 --> 00:42:09,663 - Oh, shut up! - Ow! I came here to dance! 539 00:42:09,855 --> 00:42:12,732 - Ow! Dick, help me! 540 00:42:12,924 --> 00:42:14,555 - I'll kill you! 541 00:42:14,746 --> 00:42:17,335 - Get in this-- - No, let me go! 542 00:42:30,665 --> 00:42:35,076 - Okay, let's go! - Dick, help me! 543 00:42:41,502 --> 00:42:44,570 Follow the path of your pendant to find me." 544 00:42:44,761 --> 00:42:47,735 - What is that? - It's her pendant. 545 00:42:47,926 --> 00:42:49,940 "Follow the path of the pendant to find me." 546 00:42:50,131 --> 00:42:52,433 Have you ever seen anything like that? 547 00:42:52,529 --> 00:42:56,269 - Ah! - What? What? 548 00:42:56,461 --> 00:42:58,475 No. 549 00:42:58,666 --> 00:43:01,160 Any idea where it came from? 550 00:43:01,351 --> 00:43:04,516 - Museum of Natural History. - How do you know that? 551 00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:07,968 It says it really small right there at the bottom. 552 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,845 All right. Take me to the Museum of Natural History. 553 00:43:11,037 --> 00:43:15,065 - You know, in my country we do have a saying-- - I'm sure you do. 554 00:43:15,161 --> 00:43:15,353 - You know, in my country we do have a saying-- - I'm sure you do. 555 00:43:15,353 --> 00:43:19,668 The saying goes: "The museum is closed at 5::00. You go the next morning at 9::00." 556 00:43:21,874 --> 00:43:24,654 Excuse me, Mr. Pushy! 557 00:43:24,846 --> 00:43:26,572 Son of a bitch. 558 00:43:28,682 --> 00:43:31,655 I'm getting sick and tired of your-- 559 00:43:42,299 --> 00:43:44,217 Mm-hmm. 560 00:43:48,245 --> 00:43:50,354 No, he'd never fit in there. 561 00:43:50,546 --> 00:43:54,958 Ah. Sir- 562 00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,026 I'm sick and tired of these games. 563 00:44:02,821 --> 00:44:07,424 This is stupid. Stupid. We're a government agency, for God sakes. 564 00:44:10,780 --> 00:44:12,603 Huh? 565 00:44:14,903 --> 00:44:16,630 Aha! 566 00:44:21,042 --> 00:44:23,822 Good God! You're sicker than I thought! 567 00:44:25,069 --> 00:44:27,466 What is it, Coleman? I'm busy! 568 00:44:27,658 --> 00:44:31,111 - I, uh, can see that. - You wouldn't understand. 569 00:44:31,303 --> 00:44:33,220 It's the ancient art of origatsi. 570 00:44:33,508 --> 00:44:37,152 What I don't understand is your insistence in keeping Steele on this assignment! 571 00:44:37,344 --> 00:44:39,550 He still is no closer to Rancor, 572 00:44:39,646 --> 00:44:42,426 and we have who knows how little time left before Rancor launches this satellite. 573 00:44:42,522 --> 00:44:46,742 You better let me take over this search before I-- 574 00:44:46,934 --> 00:44:48,659 Before you what, Coleman? 575 00:44:48,851 --> 00:44:50,865 I don't know whose monkey you spanked to get this job, 576 00:44:51,057 --> 00:44:53,646 but as far as I'm concerned, you're a disgrace to the Service. 577 00:44:53,742 --> 00:44:55,564 How dare you! 578 00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:58,057 You and your one-for-all-and-all-for-one bleeding heart nonsense! 579 00:44:58,249 --> 00:45:00,934 You're too old to run this agency! 580 00:45:01,126 --> 00:45:03,332 And since you won't step down, 581 00:45:03,524 --> 00:45:06,112 you'll, uh, be stepped on! 582 00:45:08,222 --> 00:45:11,579 - Ha! Loser! 583 00:45:11,771 --> 00:45:16,085 - What you got? - Is there a jewelery district in Los Angeles? 584 00:45:16,277 --> 00:45:19,730 Come on, this is Hollywood. We have jewelery. We have women who are willing to sleep-- 585 00:45:19,922 --> 00:45:23,757 - More important, is there a Russian jewelery section? - Da. 586 00:45:23,949 --> 00:45:26,347 - Where? - I don't know. 587 00:45:26,538 --> 00:45:30,087 There used to be a bunch of Russian jewelers hung out at the warehouse at, uh... 588 00:45:31,525 --> 00:45:33,443 at 31st and Phlegm. 589 00:45:33,634 --> 00:45:36,991 - Ah, damn it! 590 00:45:37,183 --> 00:45:38,909 Meet me back at the hotel. We'll split up. 591 00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:41,018 - After you. - Thank you. 592 00:45:41,210 --> 00:45:42,937 Excuse me. 593 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,334 - Get off! 594 00:46:01,157 --> 00:46:03,459 Whoa! Whoa! Wh-Whoa! 595 00:46:16,308 --> 00:46:18,322 Watch it! Watch it! 596 00:46:31,076 --> 00:46:32,802 - Whoa. 597 00:46:36,159 --> 00:46:37,885 - Cheerio. 598 00:47:03,968 --> 00:47:07,133 You're mine, Steele! 599 00:47:13,846 --> 00:47:15,956 - Whoa! 600 00:47:18,737 --> 00:47:21,134 - Whoa! - Whoa! 601 00:47:26,696 --> 00:47:30,532 - Huh? 602 00:47:50,383 --> 00:47:54,697 Okay, bring it up! Bring it up! Up, up, up! 603 00:47:54,889 --> 00:47:57,766 Okay, that's where the sign goes! 604 00:47:59,685 --> 00:48:01,603 Ah, 31st and Phlegm. 605 00:48:01,794 --> 00:48:03,520 I'm on the waiting list for a co-op. 606 00:48:09,946 --> 00:48:12,342 You better get outta here. I'll see you back in half an hour. 607 00:48:12,438 --> 00:48:14,356 Oh, half hour? I can drop off my dog at the groomer. 608 00:48:44,276 --> 00:48:48,687 - Wha-- - Mr. Steele, I presume? 609 00:48:48,783 --> 00:48:52,524 - Professor-- - Ukrinsky. With a "Y.'" 610 00:49:01,538 --> 00:49:04,798 Ah. Right. 611 00:49:07,004 --> 00:49:09,497 The pendant. 612 00:49:09,689 --> 00:49:11,798 And I suppose... 613 00:49:11,990 --> 00:49:14,100 this is what you need. 614 00:49:14,196 --> 00:49:18,990 - And this is? - This is the controller chip for Rancor's satellite. 615 00:49:19,182 --> 00:49:21,484 Ah, Rancor finally made his megachip. 616 00:49:21,771 --> 00:49:23,498 Who'd have thought the fate of so many human lives... 617 00:49:23,689 --> 00:49:25,608 would rely on something so small? 618 00:49:25,799 --> 00:49:28,580 Well, there's only one thing to do with this. 619 00:49:31,649 --> 00:49:35,964 No! No! What are you doing? 620 00:49:36,155 --> 00:49:39,608 - Trying to make the world safe from tyranny. - You mustn't do that! 621 00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:42,294 This can also be used for world peace! 622 00:49:42,389 --> 00:49:44,307 Oh, I'm sorry. 623 00:49:44,498 --> 00:49:48,143 You'd better let me get that into the proper hands and get you to safety. 624 00:49:50,732 --> 00:49:52,841 - You found me through my daughter, the pendant. - Right. 625 00:49:53,033 --> 00:49:57,157 - Veronique is safe? - Yeah, the van they took her in has dual air bags and seat belts. 626 00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:02,239 - Kabul. - Nice new wheels, huh? 627 00:50:02,431 --> 00:50:05,884 Yeah, quite an improvement. In the back, Professor. 628 00:50:06,076 --> 00:50:08,665 We have to find a safe place for the professor. 629 00:50:08,857 --> 00:50:10,678 In my country, we have saying: 630 00:50:10,870 --> 00:50:13,939 "The rabbit hops, the spider crawls, but the camel spits". 631 00:50:14,131 --> 00:50:16,049 Let's see if this Charger can run. 632 00:50:21,419 --> 00:50:23,337 Now I don't want you to be surprised. 633 00:50:23,529 --> 00:50:27,364 This guy's one of our top agents. He's most capable. 634 00:50:32,543 --> 00:50:34,460 - McCluckey! - Kabul! 635 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:42,037 - Come on in. - All right. Come on. 636 00:50:42,229 --> 00:50:44,625 McCluckey, we need to hide the professor. 637 00:50:44,913 --> 00:50:47,886 - Professor Ukrinsky, it's an honor. - How do you do? 638 00:50:48,078 --> 00:50:51,051 I've read all your work and your last paper on laboratory loneliness. 639 00:50:51,243 --> 00:50:53,831 - Superb! - Well, thank you. 640 00:50:54,023 --> 00:50:56,421 - McCluckey, I'd like you to meet Agent-- - Dick Steele. 641 00:50:56,613 --> 00:51:00,064 Agent WD-40. Good to see you back in action. 642 00:51:00,256 --> 00:51:04,764 Your video on deception, Is It A Woman? Is The Moustache Real? 643 00:51:04,860 --> 00:51:06,682 Beautiful work! 644 00:51:06,778 --> 00:51:10,134 - Thank you. - McCluckey, we need to hide this guy. 645 00:51:10,326 --> 00:51:13,586 Sure, sure. Come this way. He'll be safe here. 646 00:51:14,641 --> 00:51:16,464 Do you have a telephone? 647 00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:18,477 Right over there. 648 00:51:18,668 --> 00:51:21,642 - Is it clean? - I have a woman that comes in once a week. 649 00:51:25,861 --> 00:51:28,450 - Sir? - What? 650 00:51:28,642 --> 00:51:31,135 I have Dick "Luscious Lips" Steele on the line. 651 00:51:31,327 --> 00:51:34,395 Put him through. 652 00:51:34,587 --> 00:51:36,313 Director, is it safe? 653 00:51:36,409 --> 00:51:41,492 Safe? Just a minute. I'll use the cloaking device. 654 00:51:50,793 --> 00:51:52,903 Go ahead, Dick. It's safe. 655 00:51:53,095 --> 00:51:56,356 I have the chip Rancor needs to launch his satellite. 656 00:51:56,548 --> 00:52:00,575 Good, Dick, good. Are you coming in? 657 00:52:00,767 --> 00:52:02,781 No, Rancor kidnapped the professor's daughter. 658 00:52:02,973 --> 00:52:04,891 I've got to find her. 659 00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:07,863 - Yes, well... good, Dick. 660 00:52:08,055 --> 00:52:11,795 Good luck. Call me if I can help. 661 00:52:19,755 --> 00:52:23,399 - Nineteen hours and 35 minutes. - That Steele's gonna be sorry... 662 00:52:23,591 --> 00:52:25,700 his mama ever met his papa. 663 00:52:25,796 --> 00:52:29,824 - We gonna heat up the fire! Boys! 664 00:52:30,016 --> 00:52:31,742 They always seem to know every move we make. 665 00:52:31,934 --> 00:52:33,659 It's inside. It's got to be somebody inside leaking. 666 00:52:33,851 --> 00:52:36,440 Well, I'm not leaking. I can prove it. 667 00:52:36,632 --> 00:52:38,359 - You go ahead, ask me something. - What? 668 00:52:38,550 --> 00:52:41,235 Ask me something. Ask me who's the director of our agency. 669 00:52:41,427 --> 00:52:44,400 - Who is the director of our agency? - I don't know. 670 00:52:44,592 --> 00:52:46,318 You see, I know who it is, you see? 671 00:52:46,510 --> 00:52:50,345 But I'm not going to tell you, you see, because I am no leak. 672 00:52:50,441 --> 00:52:52,935 This place has got to be a front for Rancor and his men. 673 00:52:53,126 --> 00:52:57,922 - There's one of them now. Follow him. 674 00:52:58,113 --> 00:53:00,510 Do you have to keep revving the engine? 675 00:53:00,702 --> 00:53:04,730 Ah, but it's an American V-8. It's such a beautiful sound. 676 00:53:05,018 --> 00:53:07,031 - Oh, Steele, listen to this. 677 00:53:07,223 --> 00:53:10,292 - My cousin's a recording star. 678 00:53:10,484 --> 00:53:12,881 - Duck! Ow! 679 00:53:24,005 --> 00:53:26,498 - Did he see us? - Shh. Okay. 680 00:53:33,594 --> 00:53:35,800 - I'm going in there. - Okay. 681 00:53:35,896 --> 00:53:39,253 - Give me cover. - I got to buy my lottery ticket. 682 00:53:44,431 --> 00:53:46,829 - Rancor's guy is here. - Right. 683 00:53:47,020 --> 00:53:50,664 That saved a wretch 684 00:53:50,856 --> 00:53:53,349 Like me 685 00:53:53,541 --> 00:53:57,952 I once was lost 686 00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:02,747 But now am found 687 00:54:02,939 --> 00:54:05,049 Was blind-- 688 00:54:09,076 --> 00:54:12,721 - What are you doing here? - I am... the new choirmaster. 689 00:54:12,912 --> 00:54:16,939 - Where did you come from? - The humble room. I was doing refractories. 690 00:54:17,035 --> 00:54:19,625 - "Refractories"? - A new popal revelate. 691 00:54:19,817 --> 00:54:22,501 Uh, John, chapter 7, verse 2. 692 00:54:22,693 --> 00:54:23,940 "Popal"? 693 00:54:24,132 --> 00:54:27,776 Uh, sisters. Michael, chapter 7, verse 2. 694 00:54:27,968 --> 00:54:29,790 "Sing as ye play. 695 00:54:29,982 --> 00:54:33,529 Yea, unto thee a voice like a blenth." 696 00:54:33,721 --> 00:54:36,119 And as you approach the allo tropo, please, 697 00:54:36,311 --> 00:54:40,050 tres mucho picante abierto. 698 00:54:40,242 --> 00:54:43,407 - You know you make me want to shout 699 00:54:43,599 --> 00:54:46,284 Kick my heels up and shout Throw my hands up and shout 700 00:54:46,476 --> 00:54:49,352 Throw my head back and shout Come on now 701 00:54:49,544 --> 00:54:51,558 Don't forget to say you will 702 00:54:51,750 --> 00:54:54,435 - Are you gentlemen with Rancor? 703 00:54:54,627 --> 00:54:57,695 - Steele's here somewhere. 704 00:54:57,887 --> 00:55:00,381 - Sing it right now baby - Well, find him! 705 00:55:00,572 --> 00:55:02,490 - Say you will - Come on, come on 706 00:55:02,682 --> 00:55:07,093 - Say you will - Say that you will 707 00:55:07,285 --> 00:55:09,778 Say that you love me 708 00:55:09,970 --> 00:55:12,847 Say that you need me Say that you want me 709 00:55:13,039 --> 00:55:16,203 - You want to please me - Come on now 710 00:55:16,395 --> 00:55:20,423 Come on now Come on now 711 00:55:20,615 --> 00:55:25,218 I still remember when I used to be nine years old 712 00:55:25,409 --> 00:55:28,670 - Hey, yeah and I was a fool for you - All right, random inspection. 713 00:55:28,862 --> 00:55:31,738 - From the bottom of my soul - Directive 21, Psalm 2. 714 00:55:31,930 --> 00:55:36,150 Yeah, yeah I want you to know 715 00:55:36,342 --> 00:55:40,177 - I said I want you to know right now Ew! 716 00:55:40,465 --> 00:55:42,671 You been good to me sisters 717 00:55:42,863 --> 00:55:45,356 Much better than I've been to myself 718 00:55:45,548 --> 00:55:47,849 So good, so good 719 00:55:48,041 --> 00:55:52,740 And if you ever leave me I don't want nobody else 720 00:55:52,932 --> 00:55:57,438 Hey, hey I said I want you to know 721 00:55:57,630 --> 00:56:00,220 I said I want you to know right now 722 00:56:00,316 --> 00:56:02,138 - Veronique? 723 00:56:02,234 --> 00:56:04,343 - Dick. - You all right? 724 00:56:04,535 --> 00:56:08,946 - Get out of here. This is a front for Rancor. - Yes, I know. 725 00:56:09,138 --> 00:56:14,796 I'll-- I'll get out of here, all right. But you're coming with me. 726 00:56:14,892 --> 00:56:16,522 Stat! Code Yellow! Code Yellow! 727 00:56:16,714 --> 00:56:19,303 - Get me three CCs of epinephrinox! - Right away. 728 00:56:19,495 --> 00:56:21,988 - Get me two liters of gasohol mixed with neonephicine! - On my way. 729 00:56:22,180 --> 00:56:24,385 - Get the electrostatifyer, now! - I'll warm up the generator, sister. 730 00:56:24,577 --> 00:56:26,495 She's about to go into fibrolcanination! 731 00:56:26,591 --> 00:56:28,701 - Prepare the operating room! Yes, sister. I'll get right on it. 732 00:56:31,673 --> 00:56:35,318 For God's sake, can anyone in this hospital help me? 733 00:56:35,510 --> 00:56:39,537 - Say it right now, baby 734 00:56:39,729 --> 00:56:41,647 - Come on, come on. 735 00:56:43,181 --> 00:56:45,099 - Say that you will. 736 00:56:45,291 --> 00:56:49,127 - Now wait a minute 737 00:56:49,414 --> 00:56:52,292 Oh. Mm-mm. No. 738 00:56:52,483 --> 00:56:54,400 You know you make me want to shout 739 00:57:03,798 --> 00:57:05,908 High blood pressure. 740 00:57:10,032 --> 00:57:14,347 Here. You'll be safe here. I'll be right back. 741 00:57:23,074 --> 00:57:26,910 - Okay, the coast is clear. 742 00:57:27,006 --> 00:57:31,609 Oh, Dick, it's so cold. 743 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:36,020 What have they done to you? They'll pay for this. 744 00:57:36,212 --> 00:57:38,033 Oh, Dick... 745 00:57:45,130 --> 00:57:47,719 Move 'em, fat heads! 746 00:57:47,815 --> 00:57:50,309 Sisters, make 'em holy! 747 00:57:52,706 --> 00:57:55,007 Oh, Dick, you came for me. 748 00:57:55,199 --> 00:57:58,556 Tell me, what's been happening? 749 00:57:58,843 --> 00:58:02,295 Well, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching, getting in touch with my inner child. 750 00:58:02,487 --> 00:58:04,213 I have decided I love you. 751 00:58:04,405 --> 00:58:06,515 But what about my father? 752 00:58:06,707 --> 00:58:09,776 Well, I like him. I just have to get to know him better. 753 00:58:09,968 --> 00:58:12,172 No, is he okay? Have you got his chip? 754 00:58:12,364 --> 00:58:14,474 Oh, no, he's fine, and I've got the chip. 755 00:58:14,666 --> 00:58:16,872 - Oh, I love you too. 756 00:58:20,515 --> 00:58:24,064 - Look out, you crazy nun! 757 00:58:30,105 --> 00:58:32,503 Thanks, guys, I stopped you. You could have been killed! 758 00:58:32,695 --> 00:58:36,146 Quick, let me help. 759 00:58:36,338 --> 00:58:38,160 You smell nice. 760 00:58:40,270 --> 00:58:42,764 Where is my father? 761 00:58:42,860 --> 00:58:44,681 Is he safe? 762 00:58:44,777 --> 00:58:48,038 He's safe, Veronique. Safe as you and me. 763 00:58:48,230 --> 00:58:50,436 So cute. 764 00:58:50,627 --> 00:58:52,832 - Oh! Oh! 765 00:58:52,928 --> 00:58:55,134 - Safer. 766 00:58:55,326 --> 00:58:58,491 In my country, when an irate, armless, psychotic weirdo... 767 00:58:58,683 --> 00:59:00,409 chase your woman, you must hide her. 768 00:59:01,655 --> 00:59:03,477 Upstairs. Apartment 5B. 769 00:59:03,669 --> 00:59:05,491 I'll wait downstairs. I'll keep my eyes open. 770 00:59:09,518 --> 00:59:12,587 I just put in new carpet. Take your shoes off. 771 00:59:19,971 --> 00:59:24,191 Oh, Dick... it is so nice to know... 772 00:59:24,479 --> 00:59:27,163 that everything is going to be all right. 773 00:59:28,985 --> 00:59:31,287 You have the chip. 774 00:59:31,479 --> 00:59:34,931 My father is safe. 775 00:59:35,122 --> 00:59:37,616 You love me, Dick. 776 00:59:37,808 --> 00:59:39,630 Love? 777 00:59:41,069 --> 00:59:44,808 Let me tell you about love, Veronique. 778 00:59:45,096 --> 00:59:48,548 Love is a dew drop on a rose petal. 779 00:59:48,644 --> 00:59:51,234 - Love is a drop of rain, 780 00:59:51,426 --> 00:59:54,590 pure and shimmering and trembling. 781 00:59:54,781 --> 00:59:57,850 So moist, so wet. 782 00:59:58,042 --> 01:00:02,837 - And those tiny little drops of love, 783 01:00:03,028 --> 01:00:04,851 they come together, 784 01:00:05,043 --> 01:00:08,878 gathering up broken buds and fallen flowers... 785 01:00:09,070 --> 01:00:13,002 and dirt and dung... 786 01:00:13,194 --> 01:00:15,016 - and deer droppings, 787 01:00:15,208 --> 01:00:19,714 flowing faster and faster, outward to the sea. 788 01:00:19,906 --> 01:00:22,304 - Onward and onward - 789 01:00:45,127 --> 01:00:46,949 Good night. 790 01:00:47,141 --> 01:00:50,784 We'll talk more in the morning. 791 01:01:16,964 --> 01:01:19,170 - Hey, hotshots. 792 01:01:19,458 --> 01:01:23,006 - Come and get me. - Why, you little, no- good juvenile delinquent! 793 01:01:23,198 --> 01:01:24,828 - Go on! Get him! - Come on! 794 01:01:26,650 --> 01:01:29,719 - Cool. Heads up! 795 01:01:31,157 --> 01:01:33,362 - Nice shot. I'm going. - Go on! Go on! 796 01:01:33,458 --> 01:01:36,623 - We got you now! 797 01:01:36,815 --> 01:01:38,733 Where's the professor? 798 01:01:38,925 --> 01:01:41,131 With Gilligan, dickweed. 799 01:01:45,158 --> 01:01:47,939 - No! - This is for Getting Even With Dad! 800 01:01:48,035 --> 01:01:50,528 - And this is for My Girl. - And this is for My Girl 2. 801 01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:53,597 I wasn't even in My Girl 2. 802 01:01:53,789 --> 01:01:55,899 - We don't care! - We don't care! 803 01:01:59,062 --> 01:02:00,789 Last time I'm gonna ask you, smart boy. 804 01:02:00,981 --> 01:02:04,433 - Where's the professor? - Okay, okay, down the hall to the right. 805 01:02:06,064 --> 01:02:08,269 Okay, the left! 806 01:02:12,105 --> 01:02:14,119 Help! Somebody help me! 807 01:02:14,311 --> 01:02:17,571 They're taking us to Kikiree lsland! 808 01:02:20,831 --> 01:02:25,626 - They've taken him to Rancor! - They won't kill him... not until he's installed the chip. 809 01:02:25,914 --> 01:02:29,270 - Wha-- - Probably not even then. Maybe just torture him a little. 810 01:02:29,462 --> 01:02:32,818 - We'll talk about this on the way. Let's get to Kikiree. 811 01:02:43,271 --> 01:02:45,573 You like this disguise? 812 01:02:45,764 --> 01:02:47,683 It's very good. 813 01:02:47,874 --> 01:02:49,600 I'm proud of this one. 814 01:02:49,792 --> 01:02:52,956 Like this, I can look like anybody. 815 01:02:53,148 --> 01:02:56,889 - Rancor Industries owns this little island. 816 01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:57,176 - Rancor Industries owns this little island. 817 01:02:57,176 --> 01:03:01,491 The natives say there are stranger goings-on here than at Neverland Valley Ranch. 818 01:03:01,587 --> 01:03:04,273 - Look. - Uh-huh. It's nice. 819 01:03:05,711 --> 01:03:09,546 - Kabul, stay in the boat. - Why? 820 01:03:09,738 --> 01:03:11,465 There's a saying in my country: 821 01:03:11,656 --> 01:03:14,533 "When you hear the words, 'Stay in the boat', you stay in the boat." 822 01:03:14,724 --> 01:03:16,739 - Bye-bye. 823 01:03:24,122 --> 01:03:26,616 Dick, this is crazy. 824 01:03:26,808 --> 01:03:31,794 Crazy? Some people think walking down the street muttering to yourself is crazy. 825 01:03:31,986 --> 01:03:33,712 I'll tell you what crazy is. 826 01:03:33,904 --> 01:03:36,493 Crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, 827 01:03:36,685 --> 01:03:38,699 saying, "I'm a hamster.'" 828 01:03:38,891 --> 01:03:41,096 "I'm a hamster.'" That's crazy. 829 01:03:47,905 --> 01:03:49,823 - Ooh. 830 01:03:50,014 --> 01:03:52,700 My life's work is now complete. 831 01:03:52,892 --> 01:03:55,385 Your cooperation is commendable, Professor. 832 01:03:55,577 --> 01:03:57,302 Thank you. 833 01:04:00,371 --> 01:04:02,098 Throw him in the cell. 834 01:04:02,290 --> 01:04:05,166 - But you said it was for the world peace! Yeah, yeah. 835 01:04:13,605 --> 01:04:17,537 Hello, General. It's Skippy. They're on the island. 836 01:04:17,825 --> 01:04:19,935 Yeah. 837 01:04:20,126 --> 01:04:23,386 Well, well, well, what perfect timing. 838 01:04:23,578 --> 01:04:25,400 - It seems we're gonna have more guests. 839 01:04:25,496 --> 01:04:27,510 - Steele's not dead. 840 01:04:27,702 --> 01:04:29,428 He's on his way here. 841 01:04:29,620 --> 01:04:33,072 - Throw her in with the others! - No! Please! Please! 842 01:04:33,264 --> 01:04:37,100 - I thought you loved me! - Naw, I was just usin' you. 843 01:04:37,292 --> 01:04:39,976 [ Countdown Voice ] Seven hours, 59 minutes and 41 seconds. 844 01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:43,141 Seven hours, 59 minutes and 38 seconds. 845 01:04:43,333 --> 01:04:45,059 Seven hours, 59 minutes and 30-- 846 01:04:50,717 --> 01:04:53,210 Dick, look out! 847 01:04:53,498 --> 01:04:56,950 - Got you now, Steele. 848 01:04:57,142 --> 01:04:59,060 Hey, where you goin'? 849 01:04:59,252 --> 01:05:03,855 Take that! 850 01:05:03,951 --> 01:05:05,868 Hey, come back here! 851 01:05:08,937 --> 01:05:11,335 Nowhere to go, Steele. 852 01:05:16,897 --> 01:05:19,582 How fast can you run, my friend? 853 01:05:19,774 --> 01:05:22,170 - My God! 854 01:05:23,993 --> 01:05:25,911 All right, men, tie him up. 855 01:05:26,103 --> 01:05:28,884 - Okay, go ahead, kill me. 856 01:05:29,076 --> 01:05:32,623 I got a bomb. You touch me, and you'll blow up yourself. 857 01:05:32,815 --> 01:05:36,651 You don't really think I'm gonna fall for that old tied- to-the-bomb trick, do ya? 858 01:05:36,843 --> 01:05:43,076 - Well, how about the old snake trick? 859 01:05:43,268 --> 01:05:46,241 - Ahh! 860 01:06:05,899 --> 01:06:07,721 - What is it? - Shh. 861 01:06:15,489 --> 01:06:18,366 Let's go. 862 01:06:18,558 --> 01:06:22,777 Two hours, 59 minutes and 26 seconds to launch. 863 01:06:22,969 --> 01:06:26,421 Two hours, 59 minutes and 21 seconds to launch. 864 01:06:26,709 --> 01:06:29,777 Two hours, 59 minutes and 19 seconds to launch. 865 01:06:29,969 --> 01:06:29,969 We've got to find a way into Rancor's complex. 866 01:06:32,750 --> 01:06:35,532 - Are you ready? - Ready. 867 01:07:13,410 --> 01:07:15,136 Here, help me with this. 868 01:07:15,328 --> 01:07:18,397 - How patriotic, Dick. - And deadly. 869 01:07:18,589 --> 01:07:20,698 Ooh, Dick. 870 01:07:28,657 --> 01:07:30,576 Bearing 177.5. 871 01:07:30,767 --> 01:07:33,453 On my mark. Hi, Mark. 872 01:07:33,645 --> 01:07:36,137 Get set. 873 01:07:36,329 --> 01:07:38,727 - Father! - My child. 874 01:07:38,918 --> 01:07:43,522 Well, well. Dick Steele. 875 01:07:43,714 --> 01:07:46,398 I'd shake your hand, but I don't remember where it landed. 876 01:07:46,590 --> 01:07:49,947 - Clever! Clever? Clever. 877 01:07:50,139 --> 01:07:52,153 Take their weapons. 878 01:07:55,700 --> 01:07:57,427 - Mm-hmm. 879 01:07:59,728 --> 01:08:02,796 Throw her in with the others. Bind him. 880 01:08:06,537 --> 01:08:09,893 - Oh, Papa. 881 01:08:10,084 --> 01:08:12,674 - Dick Steele? - Oh, Ms. Dahl. 882 01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:16,222 - Barbara Dahl. - Get your paws off me, 883 01:08:16,318 --> 01:08:18,331 - Huh. - you damn dirty apes! 884 01:08:22,264 --> 01:08:24,278 - No! - You remember Barbara Dahl. 885 01:08:24,470 --> 01:08:26,196 Victoria's daughter? 886 01:08:26,388 --> 01:08:31,566 I'd like to see you watch her go up like you watched her mother go down. 887 01:08:31,757 --> 01:08:36,072 But I'd rather let you just be a dessert for my little pet. 888 01:08:37,895 --> 01:08:40,676 What's left of you will have to watch helplessly... 889 01:08:40,772 --> 01:08:45,278 while I play Mortal Kombat with the entire world! 890 01:09:23,446 --> 01:09:27,952 Huh? 891 01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:38,022 It's gonna blow! Hurry up! 892 01:09:48,858 --> 01:09:51,638 Come on! 893 01:10:32,587 --> 01:10:34,504 You are very immature. 894 01:10:34,696 --> 01:10:36,902 Bullies tend to have very bad self- esteem. 895 01:10:39,108 --> 01:10:42,176 Aha! 896 01:10:43,710 --> 01:10:46,204 Oh-ho! 897 01:10:49,081 --> 01:10:51,382 Leave me alone! I'm an unarmed man! 898 01:11:21,398 --> 01:11:25,137 - Oh, Miss Cheevus. - Dick, I'm sorry. 899 01:11:25,329 --> 01:11:28,590 - One minute and 22 seconds. One minute and 21 seconds. 900 01:11:28,782 --> 01:11:30,796 - One minute and 20 seconds. - You were under the influence of an evil man. 901 01:11:30,988 --> 01:11:32,905 - One minute and 19 seconds. - It was still a lousy thing to do. 902 01:11:33,096 --> 01:11:36,741 One minute and 18 seconds. One minute and 17 seconds. 903 01:11:36,837 --> 01:11:41,248 - One minute and 16 seconds. - Oh-oh. General, it's broken. 904 01:11:41,344 --> 01:11:45,084 Well, you'll like space. Lots of elbow room and-- 905 01:11:45,276 --> 01:11:47,290 - One minute and 12 seconds. - Oh, whoops. Sorry. 906 01:11:47,386 --> 01:11:50,837 - One minute and 11 seconds. One minute and ten seconds. 907 01:11:51,029 --> 01:11:55,441 Y eah, you lose, Steele! That countdown is irreversible! 908 01:11:55,633 --> 01:11:58,509 - Really? 909 01:11:58,701 --> 01:12:00,043 - One minute and five seconds. - Well... 910 01:12:00,235 --> 01:12:02,058 - let's just see how... - We need to go! 911 01:12:02,249 --> 01:12:05,031 - One minute and three seconds. - irreversible that really is. 912 01:12:05,127 --> 01:12:06,948 It's irreversible, 913 01:12:07,044 --> 01:12:10,113 and there's nothing you patriotic pansies can do about it! 914 01:12:10,305 --> 01:12:12,415 - 59 seconds, 58 seconds. Let me tell you what being patriotic really is, 915 01:12:12,606 --> 01:12:15,291 you scumbag poop. 916 01:12:15,578 --> 01:12:18,935 This is a great country where a man can sue anyone he wants anytime he wants. 917 01:12:19,127 --> 01:12:22,676 It's a great country because thousands of people die every year... 918 01:12:22,772 --> 01:12:25,168 from handguns, and, yet, at this very moment, 919 01:12:25,360 --> 01:12:29,964 you can still walk into a convenience store anywhere and buy one of those guns. 920 01:12:30,155 --> 01:12:32,264 - That's democracy. - It's finally time somebody does... 921 01:12:32,456 --> 01:12:34,278 what that fool Steele should have done. 922 01:12:34,470 --> 01:12:36,101 - This is a great country... - And it's gonna be me! 923 01:12:36,292 --> 01:12:41,087 - because anyone who's male has the right... - Let's go! 924 01:12:41,183 --> 01:12:44,540 - to run for the office of the President. - Let's go! Move it! 925 01:12:44,731 --> 01:12:47,417 - This is a great country because any moron can 926 01:12:47,609 --> 01:12:49,622 - All right, everyone, drop your guns! 927 01:12:49,813 --> 01:12:51,827 I'm, uh, taking over! 928 01:12:54,417 --> 01:12:56,623 Steele... get down from there. 929 01:12:56,815 --> 01:13:00,362 - Dick, come on. We have to go. 930 01:13:00,458 --> 01:13:03,048 - Now! - Oh! 931 01:13:03,144 --> 01:13:04,966 - Come on! Come on! - I wasn't finished. 932 01:13:05,158 --> 01:13:06,883 Quick! Hurry up! Just move it! 933 01:13:07,075 --> 01:13:08,801 Twenty seconds. 934 01:13:12,158 --> 01:13:15,514 Steele, you're always doing this to me! 935 01:13:17,528 --> 01:13:19,925 - You lose, Steele! 936 01:13:20,021 --> 01:13:21,844 I'm not through! I'll be back! 937 01:13:21,939 --> 01:13:24,336 Maybe just tissue or a brain! 938 01:13:24,528 --> 01:13:27,213 - Open the door! I'm stuck in here! - I'll be back! 939 01:13:27,405 --> 01:13:30,570 - I'm going up, but you and your whole world... 940 01:13:30,761 --> 01:13:32,679 are going down! 941 01:13:32,871 --> 01:13:35,364 - I'll be back, maybe without legs... - Open the damn door! 942 01:13:35,556 --> 01:13:39,200 - or some other minor organ. - Wait! I don't want to miss the fireworks! 943 01:13:50,708 --> 01:13:52,722 How about a hand for General Rancor? 944 01:13:54,736 --> 01:13:57,420 You're not through with me! 945 01:13:58,763 --> 01:14:01,256 - Ah, well. 946 01:14:01,448 --> 01:14:01,448 - Houston, we have a problem. 947 01:14:21,011 --> 01:14:26,477 A man of intrigue He lives for the thrill 948 01:14:29,258 --> 01:14:34,820 Always has places to go and people to kill 949 01:14:36,930 --> 01:14:39,998 Danger is the game he plays 950 01:14:40,190 --> 01:14:44,026 And he holds every card 951 01:14:44,218 --> 01:14:47,094 'Cause if you wanna win 952 01:14:47,286 --> 01:14:50,451 You gotta spy hard 953 01:14:53,232 --> 01:14:58,219 A man of the world so suave and discreet 954 01:15:00,904 --> 01:15:06,082 He trips over the women piled up at his feet 955 01:15:09,439 --> 01:15:11,740 But evil's lurking 956 01:15:11,931 --> 01:15:16,247 So he's always on his guard 957 01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:19,316 'Cause if you're gonna spy 958 01:15:19,508 --> 01:15:24,494 You better spy hard 959 01:15:24,686 --> 01:15:27,947 He's always there 960 01:15:28,139 --> 01:15:32,549 When the chips are beginning to fall 961 01:15:32,741 --> 01:15:36,002 He wouldn't care 962 01:15:36,194 --> 01:15:38,495 If they kicked him and grabbed him 963 01:15:38,591 --> 01:15:40,413 And shot him and stabbed him 964 01:15:40,605 --> 01:15:44,537 And nailed both his ears to the wall 965 01:15:46,070 --> 01:15:48,084 Facing death every day 966 01:15:48,276 --> 01:15:52,880 Is a tough job for any man 967 01:15:53,072 --> 01:15:56,331 But his hours are flexible 968 01:15:56,523 --> 01:15:59,688 And he's got a great dental plan 969 01:16:01,223 --> 01:16:04,770 By the way if you walked in late 970 01:16:04,962 --> 01:16:08,798 Allow me to reiterate 971 01:16:08,990 --> 01:16:12,250 The name of this movie 972 01:16:12,442 --> 01:16:15,895 Was Spy Hard 973 01:16:16,086 --> 01:16:19,826 They called it Spy Hard 974 01:16:20,018 --> 01:16:23,566 You just saw Spy Hard 975 01:16:23,662 --> 01:16:29,224 It's the end of Spy Hard