1
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,428
Hang on there, Clyde-

2
00:01:27,763 --> 00:01:29,433
Sorry, miss, we're closed-

3
00:01:29,599 --> 00:01:32,999
Just look at what I'm selling-
You'll plotz-

4
00:01:46,415 --> 00:01:48,975
Good work, Harley girl-

5
00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:54,645
Now, what would be a suitable trade
for our joke-in-the-box?

6
00:02:06,569 --> 00:02:10,339
For some reason, this just speaks to me-
What do you think, Harl?

7
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,906
It's you, pudding-

8
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:27,876
Awfully nice doing business
with you-Ta-

9
00:02:28,891 --> 00:02:30,881
What a pleasant fellow-

10
00:02:36,632 --> 00:02:41,762
It's weird-All this junk and the Joker
only takes one lousy statue-

11
00:02:42,104 --> 00:02:45,944
Especially since word on the street says
he's desperate for cash these days-

12
00:02:46,108 --> 00:02:49,308
Things are never what they seem
with the Joker-

13
00:02:50,846 --> 00:02:53,366
I guess the night brings out
all the wackos-

14
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:04,120
It was made of jade,
worth maybe a hundred grand-

15
00:03:06,762 --> 00:03:08,232
I'd like a closer look-

16
00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:15,197
Hey-He can't leave a crime scene
with evidence-

17
00:03:15,371 --> 00:03:18,361
You want to stop him, be my guest-

18
00:03:39,061 --> 00:03:44,161
According to this, the <i>Laughing Dragon</i>
has earned quite a foreboding reputation-

19
00:03:45,301 --> 00:03:48,431
Ever since it was carved in China
nearly 30 years ago...

20
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:52,514
...it has passed through several owners,
all of whom died prematurely-

21
00:03:52,675 --> 00:03:54,575
And I can tell you why-

22
00:03:54,910 --> 00:03:59,110
This so-called jade
is emitting low-level radiation-

23
00:04:00,382 --> 00:04:04,082
Alfred, isn't Bruce Wayne about due
for a trip to Metropolis?

24
00:04:04,253 --> 00:04:07,313
Yes, but do you think
this is an appropriate time?

25
00:04:08,524 --> 00:04:11,794
I'd say the timing couldn't be better-

26
00:04:28,511 --> 00:04:30,641
Ladies and gentlemen of the press...

27
00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:34,413
...if you stay calm, you may actually live
to write about this-

28
00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:36,023
Is the president secured?

29
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,788
Copy-We've already informed him...

30
00:04:38,954 --> 00:04:41,554
<i>...of our change in flight plans.</i>

31
00:04:49,465 --> 00:04:51,455
- What's going on?
- What's he doing to her?

32
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,504
Let's make an example of this hero-

33
00:04:59,074 --> 00:05:02,044
A very tragic example, I'm afraid, Miss...?

34
00:05:02,211 --> 00:05:05,381
- Lane-
- Lane? Lois Lane?

35
00:05:05,781 --> 00:05:08,011
The one Superman always saves?

36
00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,154
Afraid so-

37
00:05:24,633 --> 00:05:26,733
Thanks for strapping me in-

38
00:05:46,922 --> 00:05:49,652
Happy I could help out, Mr-President-

39
00:05:56,165 --> 00:05:58,625
I hope I didn't shake you
and the others up too badly-

40
00:05:59,134 --> 00:06:01,934
I hate to say, I've gotten used to it-

41
00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:09,940
Superman?

42
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,902
Yes?

43
00:06:12,548 --> 00:06:14,408
How can I put this?

44
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,683
I was just thinking, it might be nice
to see each other...

45
00:06:17,853 --> 00:06:21,923
...when I wasn't, I don't know,
falling out a window or something-

46
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:25,221
I'm grateful for all the times
you've helped me, you understand...

47
00:06:25,561 --> 00:06:28,121
- I understand-
- You do?

48
00:06:35,704 --> 00:06:40,014
- It's the First National Bank-
- You'd better go-People might...

49
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:42,339
Get hurt-

50
00:06:47,349 --> 00:06:50,079
"I understand, Lois-"
"Really, you do?"

51
00:06:50,252 --> 00:06:53,422
"Yep-You're a complete moron-"
"Why, thank you, Superman-

52
00:06:53,589 --> 00:06:56,249
I think I'm a total loser too-"
Jeez-

53
00:06:56,659 --> 00:06:59,459
"A grateful president
bestows heartfelt thanks...

54
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:03,898
...on Metropolis' favorite son,
Superman-"

55
00:07:04,066 --> 00:07:06,296
Favorite son, my...

56
00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:11,504
Mercy-
Start the car-I'm coming down-

57
00:07:13,442 --> 00:07:15,542
Right away, Lex-

58
00:07:36,532 --> 00:07:39,302
The office-Now-

59
00:07:39,468 --> 00:07:41,868
Swell, Mr-L-

60
00:07:43,072 --> 00:07:46,012
"Mr-L-"? Mercy?

61
00:07:47,576 --> 00:07:50,066
Oh, yeah, she had a little accident-

62
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:04,187
All right, missy-I don't know
what your game is...

63
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,590
...but I promise you
you'll pay dearly for this!

64
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,689
You're dead-Do you hear me?

65
00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:12,996
Blah, blah, blah-

66
00:08:13,335 --> 00:08:16,665
Whoa, mama!
Check out the cute hitchhiker-

67
00:08:18,407 --> 00:08:19,837
Yoo-hoo!

68
00:08:27,816 --> 00:08:30,576
- Joker-
- Lexy, old kid-

69
00:08:30,753 --> 00:08:34,283
Do I have a deal for you-

70
00:08:49,921 --> 00:08:52,481
Rich Corinthian leather-

71
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,087
What do you want?

72
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:58,456
I sense we are kindred spirits,
you and I-

73
00:08:58,629 --> 00:09:02,929
Oh, there are differences to be sure-
Like hair-

74
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:07,160
But underneath it all, we're both
entrepreneurs, men of vision-

75
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,428
We see an opportunity, we grab it-
Am I right?

76
00:09:13,778 --> 00:09:15,008
Right-

77
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:18,973
But in the past few weeks,
I've had a run of bad luck...

78
00:09:19,150 --> 00:09:20,950
...bad luck that wears a cape-

79
00:09:21,419 --> 00:09:24,909
Thanks to that miserable,
pointy-eared rodent, Batman...

80
00:09:25,089 --> 00:09:28,859
...all my operations in Gotham City
have been shut down-

81
00:09:30,294 --> 00:09:34,064
But you too have an overgrown bully
in long underwear...

82
00:09:34,232 --> 00:09:37,032
...which brings me
to my little proposition-

83
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,531
I'm listening-

84
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:42,573
Pay me one billion dollars,
and I'll kill Superman-

85
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,172
What makes you think
you can kill Superman...

86
00:09:47,345 --> 00:09:51,435
...when you can't even handle
a mere mortal in a Halloween costume?

87
00:09:52,683 --> 00:09:56,713
There's nothing mere
about that mortal-Besides...

88
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,048
...I've read up on your flyboy-

89
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:02,133
I know his weakness-

90
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:08,056
See? Solid Kryptonite-

91
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,902
You know I can't be connected to this
in any way-

92
00:10:11,269 --> 00:10:15,329
Oh, you'll be Mr-Clean,
I promise-Deal?

93
00:10:16,974 --> 00:10:18,604
Deal-

94
00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:29,149
I hear Wayne's deal with LexCorp could
run into the billions-He's a high roller-

95
00:10:29,553 --> 00:10:32,153
I hear he's nothing but Gotham trash-

96
00:10:32,323 --> 00:10:34,323
Rich, spoiled...

97
00:10:35,226 --> 00:10:37,816
...and absolutely gorgeous-

98
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,260
- Mr-Wayne-Mr-Wayne-
- What brings you to Metropolis?

99
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,736
How long will you stay?

100
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,280
Quick, is my hair straight?

101
00:10:54,845 --> 00:10:59,145
Excuse me,
aren't you the famous Lois Lane?

102
00:11:03,154 --> 00:11:08,864
Me? Famous? Well, hardly-
I mean, uh... This is Clark Kent-

103
00:11:09,193 --> 00:11:10,963
Mr-Wayne-

104
00:11:11,729 --> 00:11:14,219
I read all about your adventure
on Air Force One-

105
00:11:14,699 --> 00:11:18,229
- You're quite the newsmaker-
- No more than you-

106
00:11:18,669 --> 00:11:21,369
Which brings up the question
of why you're in town-

107
00:11:21,539 --> 00:11:23,969
Mr-Wayne, your car-

108
00:11:24,942 --> 00:11:28,142
Maybe we can discuss it over dinner,
if you're available-

109
00:11:28,713 --> 00:11:32,743
Totally-I mean, I think so-
I'll have to check my calen... Yes-

110
00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:36,054
Great-I'll pick you up at 8-

111
00:11:57,141 --> 00:12:01,011
Who'd have figured a guy named Weasel
could cook this good?

112
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:03,668
Caesar Carlini, my old pal-

113
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,818
Why, I haven't seen you since...
Wait-

114
00:12:06,984 --> 00:12:09,654
I've never seen you, have I?
You need to get out more-

115
00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:12,850
- Who is this clown?
- Not "Clown-"

116
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,794
Joker-

117
00:12:17,161 --> 00:12:21,001
I'm in town on business
and I need a place to hang my hat-

118
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,765
Try the Motel Nine-

119
00:12:22,933 --> 00:12:27,273
But it would be so much cozier
at your place, like a sleepover-

120
00:12:27,438 --> 00:12:29,428
Are you nuts?

121
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:31,097
Kill him-

122
00:12:35,846 --> 00:12:37,676
Can I play too?

123
00:12:48,926 --> 00:12:53,056
Carlini, all that spicy food-
You look a little gassy-

124
00:12:54,765 --> 00:12:57,095
No-Stop-

125
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:13,180
Holy guacamole-Looks like
you need a new leader-

126
00:13:13,350 --> 00:13:15,910
I nominate me-

127
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:18,680
I second the nomination-

128
00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:22,317
All opposed?

129
00:13:23,227 --> 00:13:25,247
They found him like this
at the city dump-

130
00:13:26,897 --> 00:13:28,867
The lights are on but nobody's home-

131
00:13:29,033 --> 00:13:30,433
But we know who did it-

132
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,541
He's telling us right now-

133
00:14:08,729 --> 00:14:13,389
As you can see, the WayneLex T7
can traverse the most difficult terrain...

134
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:15,967
...never losing sight
of its ultimate target-

135
00:14:32,286 --> 00:14:34,716
Fourteen-point-eight seconds-

136
00:14:35,089 --> 00:14:36,609
Congratulations-

137
00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:39,090
This is your project too, you know-

138
00:14:39,493 --> 00:14:41,993
Well, I'm proud of the work
both our teams have done-

139
00:14:42,663 --> 00:14:46,333
These robots are gonna revolutionize
unmanned space travel-

140
00:14:47,701 --> 00:14:51,261
Actually, there may be a use
for them closer to home-

141
00:14:54,775 --> 00:14:57,205
The Joint Chiefs
have shown tremendous interest-

142
00:14:57,378 --> 00:15:01,178
It doesn't take much imagination to
envision these robots on the battlefield-

143
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:05,120
Except I won't allow it-

144
00:15:05,419 --> 00:15:08,689
- What?
- I don't like guns-

145
00:15:08,856 --> 00:15:11,946
Well, Bruce, I think I have something
to say about this-

146
00:15:12,359 --> 00:15:14,419
Not according to our deal-

147
00:15:14,595 --> 00:15:17,685
All technological applications
need my approval first-

148
00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:19,699
Blame it on me, Lex-

149
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,030
Tell your pals at the Pentagon...

150
00:15:22,202 --> 00:15:24,642
...I just don't have the imagination-

151
00:15:27,174 --> 00:15:30,944
So he just appears when there's trouble?
No special signal?

152
00:15:31,111 --> 00:15:33,881
He's not like your Batman,
thank goodness-

153
00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:35,648
Then how do you contact him?

154
00:15:36,917 --> 00:15:38,977
Committing a felony helps-

155
00:15:39,453 --> 00:15:42,053
Listen, you seem awfully interested
in Superman-

156
00:15:42,222 --> 00:15:45,222
- Do you want me to fix you two up?
- Sorry-

157
00:15:45,392 --> 00:15:47,422
No, I'm sorry-
It's just that I was hoping...

158
00:15:47,594 --> 00:15:50,664
...to get away from the subject
of the Man of Steel for one night-

159
00:15:51,165 --> 00:15:53,325
I've been a little too consumed
with him lately-

160
00:15:59,606 --> 00:16:02,406
Maybe we could change subjects-

161
00:16:03,444 --> 00:16:05,314
No more men in tights?

162
00:16:05,479 --> 00:16:06,949
Deal-

163
00:16:28,135 --> 00:16:29,685
So just keep your ears open-

164
00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:32,640
Let me know if you hear any buzz
about the Joker-

165
00:16:36,076 --> 00:16:37,836
Sure thing, Mr-Kent-

166
00:16:38,846 --> 00:16:40,606
But, uh, which one?

167
00:16:40,781 --> 00:16:43,411
There's lots of jokers around here-

168
00:17:11,445 --> 00:17:15,135
Hey, sweetheart-
What are you, deaf? Another round!

169
00:17:18,986 --> 00:17:21,046
- What's going on?
- What's happening?

170
00:17:21,255 --> 00:17:22,475
Who is he?

171
00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:29,757
It's been a long time, Binko-

172
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:35,333
I heard your boss Carlini's been replaced-

173
00:17:35,502 --> 00:17:37,102
We need to talk-

174
00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:47,883
Let's get out of here-

175
00:17:55,823 --> 00:17:57,553
Get him!

176
00:17:59,827 --> 00:18:01,057
Hey!

177
00:18:17,845 --> 00:18:19,395
Where's the Joker?

178
00:18:19,580 --> 00:18:21,910
Who knows?
Making ha-ha with Harley Quinn-

179
00:18:23,817 --> 00:18:27,017
I don't know-Honest-
I never went back after he muscled in-

180
00:18:27,187 --> 00:18:29,517
I don't want nothing
to do with that clown-

181
00:18:29,957 --> 00:18:32,927
That's enough-
I think you got your answer-

182
00:18:50,844 --> 00:18:54,754
I heard you were crazy-
I didn't think you were stupid-

183
00:18:58,952 --> 00:19:01,752
- Bruce Wayne?
- You peeked-

184
00:19:02,089 --> 00:19:04,419
I won't have vigilantism in my town-

185
00:19:04,825 --> 00:19:08,515
You'll be rid of me-
As soon as I find the Joker-

186
00:19:08,962 --> 00:19:11,592
That may not be soon enough-

187
00:19:15,736 --> 00:19:17,426
It doesn't take much, does it?

188
00:19:18,105 --> 00:19:21,195
The Joker has 20 pounds more
where this came from-

189
00:19:21,642 --> 00:19:23,942
Thought you might like to know-

190
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,270
- Hello-
- Hi-

191
00:19:55,442 --> 00:19:58,002
I just wanted to let you know,
I'll be in late tomorrow-

192
00:19:58,345 --> 00:20:00,005
I'm having breakfast with Bruce-

193
00:20:01,715 --> 00:20:02,935
Isn't that special?

194
00:20:03,350 --> 00:20:05,840
Do I detect a note of disapproval?

195
00:20:06,019 --> 00:20:08,149
You were the one
who compared him to garbage-

196
00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:10,262
<i>Well, I was wrong.</i>

197
00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:13,448
He's very thoughtful and much deeper...

198
00:20:13,627 --> 00:20:16,187
...than the gossipmongers
would lead you to believe-

199
00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:19,630
- You'd be surprised-
- Would I now?

200
00:20:22,936 --> 00:20:25,096
<i>I'll let you go so you can count sheep...</i>

201
00:20:25,272 --> 00:20:29,402
<i>...or whatever you Kansas boys
dream about. Bye.</i>

202
00:20:50,897 --> 00:20:52,867
Touché-

203
00:21:30,836 --> 00:21:32,826
[ENGLISH]