1 00:00:01,707 --> 00:00:02,688 Just the man I was looking for. 2 00:00:02,788 --> 00:00:03,849 You went to catholic school, right? 3 00:00:03,949 --> 00:00:05,691 St. Mary's. 12 horrible years. 4 00:00:05,791 --> 00:00:08,333 I still have limited use of my knuckles. 5 00:00:08,433 --> 00:00:09,654 Remember a Sister Margaret? 6 00:00:09,754 --> 00:00:10,775 Oh, she was the ringleader. 7 00:00:10,875 --> 00:00:12,977 Scary, awful, monster of a woman. 8 00:00:13,077 --> 00:00:15,418 Well, she speaks highly of you too, Paul. 9 00:00:15,518 --> 00:00:17,380 She's coming by here later this afternoon. 10 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,141 She's having problems with the neighborhood around her school. 11 00:00:19,241 --> 00:00:21,864 So I told her you would sit down and talk to her about them. 12 00:00:21,964 --> 00:00:23,745 Never. Not in a million years. 13 00:00:23,845 --> 00:00:25,627 Correct answer was, "Yes, I'd love to, 14 00:00:25,727 --> 00:00:27,828 "and good morning, sister." 15 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,350 Good morning, sister? 16 00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:30,791 Hello, Paul. 17 00:00:30,891 --> 00:00:32,892 (WHIMPERS) 18 00:00:34,013 --> 00:00:36,435 Morning. What could I do for you, Sister Margaret? 19 00:00:36,535 --> 00:00:37,876 Well, you could start by telling me 20 00:00:37,976 --> 00:00:40,118 why I never see you at church anymore. 21 00:00:40,218 --> 00:00:42,220 I... I joined a different parish. 22 00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:44,562 And who's your priest? 23 00:00:44,662 --> 00:00:46,663 Father O'... Connor? 24 00:00:47,824 --> 00:00:49,446 O'Leary? 25 00:00:49,546 --> 00:00:51,547 O'Cohen? 26 00:00:51,948 --> 00:00:53,949 Oh, my. 27 00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,411 You're lying. 28 00:00:55,511 --> 00:00:56,892 Oh, God. 29 00:00:56,992 --> 00:00:59,093 Now you've taken the Lord's name in vain. 30 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,214 Oh, God, I'm sorry. 31 00:01:00,314 --> 00:01:01,816 Oh, God! I did it again. 32 00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:04,178 Oh, God... Oh! I can't stop. 33 00:01:04,278 --> 00:01:06,279 Oh, ga-ga-ga-God... 34 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,502 Sister, I'll take care of this for you. 35 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:11,303 Ow... 36 00:01:11,403 --> 00:01:13,405 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 37 00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:26,235 Okay. Hopefully, it's not too transparent 38 00:01:26,335 --> 00:01:27,636 an attempt to attract voters. 39 00:01:27,736 --> 00:01:28,877 We got the go-ahead on that free concert 40 00:01:28,977 --> 00:01:30,238 at Madison Square Garden. 41 00:01:30,338 --> 00:01:31,920 The rumors are true. That Maxwell, Travis, and Johns 42 00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:33,841 are going to reunite for one night only. 43 00:01:33,941 --> 00:01:35,202 Didn't they play at Woodstock? 44 00:01:35,302 --> 00:01:38,005 So what? They've gotta be, like, 90-years-old. 45 00:01:38,105 --> 00:01:41,287 Why don't we just reunite The Andrews Sisters? 46 00:01:41,387 --> 00:01:43,429 Hey, back off, man! M.T.J. rocks. 47 00:01:46,191 --> 00:01:47,813 When I was 15, my mom drove me 48 00:01:47,913 --> 00:01:49,214 to the concert in Madison. 49 00:01:49,314 --> 00:01:53,017 You went to the concert, the band rocked, 50 00:01:53,117 --> 00:01:55,699 you bought a $65 T-shirt, 51 00:01:55,799 --> 00:01:56,940 and you screamed like an idiot 52 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,041 when the band said, "Hello, Wisconsin!" 53 00:02:00,483 --> 00:02:02,484 Were you there? 54 00:02:03,725 --> 00:02:05,727 Okay, then. Meeting is adjourned. 55 00:02:06,607 --> 00:02:08,769 I say, meeting is adjourned. 56 00:02:09,850 --> 00:02:11,231 What? 57 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,153 We wanna know if you're going to break up with Carrie. 58 00:02:13,253 --> 00:02:15,034 When did it become office policy 59 00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,036 to review my personal life at the morning meeting? 60 00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,957 You started it, Mike. When you became single, 61 00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:23,081 all you wanted to do was talk and talk and talk. 62 00:02:23,181 --> 00:02:25,283 It was kind of like a soap opera. 63 00:02:25,383 --> 00:02:28,465 First, it was really, really irritating... 64 00:02:30,787 --> 00:02:32,408 but you listen to enough of it 65 00:02:32,508 --> 00:02:34,510 and all of a sudden, boom! You're hooked. 66 00:02:36,071 --> 00:02:37,933 So, today on 67 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,034 "Deputy mayor in heat..." 68 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,058 All right. 69 00:02:44,158 --> 00:02:46,299 I like Carrie a lot, 70 00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:48,341 but she walks that fine line 71 00:02:48,441 --> 00:02:50,563 between incredibly intense 72 00:02:51,243 --> 00:02:53,865 and borderline loopy. 73 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,227 So I'm afraid tonight I'm gonna have to break up with her. 74 00:02:56,327 --> 00:02:58,429 Hold on a second. Paul couldn't be here. 75 00:02:58,529 --> 00:03:00,531 He asked me to tape it. 76 00:03:04,454 --> 00:03:06,075 Okay. One last item. 77 00:03:06,175 --> 00:03:07,917 I'm having a secret meeting 78 00:03:08,017 --> 00:03:09,358 tomorrow morning 79 00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:11,199 without Paul. 80 00:03:11,299 --> 00:03:12,961 I'd like you all to show up 81 00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:15,062 around 5:00 a.m. 82 00:03:22,228 --> 00:03:24,230 4:30 is better for me, Mike. 83 00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:32,857 That's you and me at the duck pond. 84 00:03:32,957 --> 00:03:35,098 Don't we look happy? 85 00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:36,660 Oh, yeah. Very, uh... 86 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,581 Very happy, happy. 87 00:03:38,681 --> 00:03:40,743 Happy us. 88 00:03:40,843 --> 00:03:42,224 What's going on with you, Mike? 89 00:03:42,324 --> 00:03:43,866 You're all nervous. 90 00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:45,147 Oh, no. 91 00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:46,708 Boo! Oh! Gosh. 92 00:03:46,808 --> 00:03:48,749 See? Come on, lighten up. 93 00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:50,391 I can hear your heart beating. 94 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,112 I think it had stopped. 95 00:03:52,212 --> 00:03:54,594 (GIGGLING) 96 00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:57,236 Okay. What did you want to say? 97 00:03:57,336 --> 00:03:59,958 Okay. All right. Here it goes. 98 00:04:00,058 --> 00:04:03,801 Carrie, I just, I feel very strong... 99 00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:05,163 Can we move that? 100 00:04:05,263 --> 00:04:07,264 'Cause the glare is really killing me. 101 00:04:09,226 --> 00:04:11,468 There, there. All better. 102 00:04:12,268 --> 00:04:14,050 Okay. You were saying? 103 00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:15,371 Here it goes. 104 00:04:15,471 --> 00:04:17,833 I think that... Okay, now it's just staring at me. 105 00:04:19,474 --> 00:04:20,615 Okay. Fine. 106 00:04:20,715 --> 00:04:22,617 You're having trouble with conversation starters. 107 00:04:22,717 --> 00:04:23,777 I've got one! 108 00:04:23,877 --> 00:04:25,459 I'm ready to have children 109 00:04:25,559 --> 00:04:27,600 and I think you'd make a great father. 110 00:04:30,723 --> 00:04:33,305 Questions? Comments? 111 00:04:33,405 --> 00:04:35,447 I've only known you for three weeks. 112 00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:37,148 I mean, I... 113 00:04:37,248 --> 00:04:39,430 Normally, I don't discuss fatherhood 114 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,532 or kids until... 115 00:04:42,773 --> 00:04:44,794 Never. 116 00:04:44,894 --> 00:04:48,237 I am too old to go down a very long road with someone 117 00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:51,159 unless I am sure they're going to the same place. 118 00:04:51,259 --> 00:04:53,261 What if we're not? 119 00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:56,524 Well, then I guess 120 00:04:56,624 --> 00:04:58,745 I'd have to break up with you. 121 00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:06,151 Get outta town. 122 00:05:06,992 --> 00:05:08,693 Are you... Are you serious? 123 00:05:08,793 --> 00:05:10,795 I am totally serious. 124 00:05:15,159 --> 00:05:16,139 Wow. 125 00:05:16,239 --> 00:05:18,241 Well, then I... 126 00:05:18,842 --> 00:05:20,743 I guess... 127 00:05:20,843 --> 00:05:22,845 I guess it's over. 128 00:05:23,846 --> 00:05:25,847 I can't believe you did this to me. 129 00:05:27,529 --> 00:05:29,270 Oh, Mike. Maybe we should think about it. 130 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,632 No, no, no, no... No, no. 131 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:34,194 No, no, no. That wouldn't be fair to you, 132 00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:36,075 dragging it out like that. 133 00:05:36,175 --> 00:05:38,497 No, no, no. No, you've got a schedule. 134 00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:42,000 This just happened so fast. 135 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,142 I know. I just never saw it comin'. 136 00:05:46,944 --> 00:05:48,946 Well, I gotta go. 137 00:05:49,306 --> 00:05:51,508 Wait! Mike... 138 00:05:52,909 --> 00:05:53,970 Just because we're not gonna spend 139 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:55,371 the rest of our lives together 140 00:05:55,471 --> 00:05:56,812 doesn't mean we can't have 141 00:05:56,912 --> 00:05:59,114 one more night together. 142 00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:01,856 Wait. 143 00:06:01,956 --> 00:06:03,537 You just broke up with me 144 00:06:03,637 --> 00:06:05,639 and now you want to... 145 00:06:05,959 --> 00:06:07,961 What are you, a guy? 146 00:06:12,845 --> 00:06:13,866 Wait a minute. 147 00:06:13,966 --> 00:06:15,347 You dumped her and slept with her 148 00:06:15,447 --> 00:06:17,449 in the same night? 149 00:06:17,969 --> 00:06:19,971 I mean, you're like James Bond. 150 00:06:21,532 --> 00:06:22,873 Congratulations, Mike. 151 00:06:22,973 --> 00:06:25,235 Yeah, we're so proud of you. 152 00:06:25,335 --> 00:06:29,458 I was in a very vulnerable place last night, okay? 153 00:06:30,819 --> 00:06:32,821 I'm ashamed of myself. 154 00:06:36,984 --> 00:06:39,566 You just pulled down your own rebound, Mike. 155 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,128 Very few guys in our league 156 00:06:41,228 --> 00:06:42,529 can score on a play like that. 157 00:06:42,629 --> 00:06:43,850 I got a question for you. 158 00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,592 Did you guys have sex before or after you broke up? 159 00:06:47,393 --> 00:06:48,453 After. 160 00:06:48,553 --> 00:06:49,734 I've got news for you, honey. 161 00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:51,836 You didn't break up. 162 00:06:52,397 --> 00:06:53,417 What's she talking about? 163 00:06:53,517 --> 00:06:56,220 Any sex within 24 hours after the break-up 164 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,661 is technically make-up sex. 165 00:06:57,761 --> 00:06:59,762 Technically, you made up. 166 00:07:02,885 --> 00:07:04,186 No... 167 00:07:04,286 --> 00:07:05,467 (ALL CLAMORING IN AGREEMENT) 168 00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,769 Aw, I'm so glad that I was informed. 169 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,271 I wish somebody would just write down 170 00:07:10,371 --> 00:07:11,752 all these rules for me. 171 00:07:11,852 --> 00:07:12,913 I'll give you one. 172 00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:14,955 Next time you want to end a relationship, 173 00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:17,056 try letting the woman shake your hand. 174 00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:23,001 Hey, Paulie. What's up? 175 00:07:23,101 --> 00:07:24,723 You look like hell. 176 00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:27,425 There was no secret meeting, was there, Mike? 177 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:35,291 Afraid not, Paulie. 178 00:07:35,391 --> 00:07:37,393 Sorry about that. 179 00:07:38,393 --> 00:07:40,395 (WHISPERING) It's tomorrow. 180 00:07:45,839 --> 00:07:47,841 Sorry to keep you dudes waiting. 181 00:07:48,762 --> 00:07:50,743 No problem, Mr. Mayor. 182 00:07:50,843 --> 00:07:52,825 This is wonderful tea. 183 00:07:52,925 --> 00:07:54,346 Well, thank you. 184 00:07:54,446 --> 00:07:55,587 That's a rock 'n roll thing, right? 185 00:07:55,687 --> 00:07:56,868 That's good for the voice? 186 00:07:56,968 --> 00:07:58,970 It keeps me regular. 187 00:08:00,451 --> 00:08:02,453 Okay. Rock on. 188 00:08:03,574 --> 00:08:04,955 I hope you guys don't mind me asking, 189 00:08:05,055 --> 00:08:07,357 but why did you fellas break up in the first place? 190 00:08:07,457 --> 00:08:09,358 (CLEARS THROAT) That may be thin ice, sir. 191 00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:11,460 What? That's all right. 192 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:14,242 We just lost sight of why we played music. 193 00:08:14,342 --> 00:08:16,344 You know, it became all about money. 194 00:08:17,585 --> 00:08:18,926 So, you boys got those contracts? 195 00:08:19,026 --> 00:08:21,028 Yeah. 196 00:08:22,949 --> 00:08:26,892 Just put your Herbie Hancocks right there. 197 00:08:26,992 --> 00:08:29,554 Herbie Hancocks. That's a little rock 'n roll humor. 198 00:08:30,315 --> 00:08:32,317 Yeah. It's a good one. 199 00:08:33,197 --> 00:08:34,699 You see, I thought you broke up 200 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:36,540 because you, Kevin, write all the music 201 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:37,741 and the lyrics, 202 00:08:37,841 --> 00:08:41,224 but Johnny here seems to get all the attention. 203 00:08:41,324 --> 00:08:42,505 Yeah, Johnny always did have a knack 204 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,266 for sticking his face out front. 205 00:08:44,366 --> 00:08:46,588 I don't deserve a little recognition? 206 00:08:46,688 --> 00:08:47,669 I tell you what... 207 00:08:47,769 --> 00:08:49,671 Let's play "first one to sign the contract 208 00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:52,653 "gets a free picture of the Mayor on his vacation." 209 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,075 Oh, look, Johnny. 210 00:08:55,175 --> 00:08:56,316 It's the same island 211 00:08:56,416 --> 00:08:57,997 you and your bimbo girlfriend stayed on 212 00:08:58,097 --> 00:08:59,358 while I was holed up in the studio 213 00:08:59,458 --> 00:09:00,840 writing our last album. 214 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,121 I should have renamed that one 215 00:09:02,221 --> 00:09:05,103 "Bite me, you ungrateful, self-centered jerk." 216 00:09:06,704 --> 00:09:07,845 Well, hey, now, we both know 217 00:09:07,945 --> 00:09:09,947 that wouldn't sell a million copies. 218 00:09:10,307 --> 00:09:12,309 I'm outta here. 219 00:09:16,552 --> 00:09:18,554 Way to go with the picture, Mike. 220 00:09:23,518 --> 00:09:25,259 Would you care for a cup of coffee, sister? 221 00:09:25,359 --> 00:09:27,941 I take my strength from the Lord, Paul, 222 00:09:28,041 --> 00:09:30,043 not from some popular narcotic. 223 00:09:30,884 --> 00:09:32,885 (MOUTHING) 224 00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:34,787 Now... 225 00:09:34,887 --> 00:09:37,389 Tomorrow I'm coming with the entire parish 226 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,390 to talk about our security issues. 227 00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:41,272 I want a plan for keeping those hooligans 228 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,433 off the property. 229 00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:43,954 You could put a big picture 230 00:09:44,054 --> 00:09:46,056 of yourself out front. 231 00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:49,138 That might do the trick. 232 00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:56,404 (BUZZER BUZZES) (JANELLE OVER SPEAKER) Carrie's here. 233 00:09:56,504 --> 00:09:58,506 Oh! Just a minute, Janelle. 234 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,449 (DOOR OPENS) 235 00:10:02,549 --> 00:10:04,551 Mike? 236 00:10:06,352 --> 00:10:08,294 You look terrible. 237 00:10:08,394 --> 00:10:09,655 There are going to be good days, 238 00:10:09,755 --> 00:10:12,337 and there are going to be bad. 239 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,058 Why did you want to see me? 240 00:10:14,158 --> 00:10:16,880 I guess I just... I had to know for sure 241 00:10:18,362 --> 00:10:20,363 that it was really over. 242 00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:23,085 I'm sorry, Mike. It is. 243 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,690 Well, that's okay. I just had to know... 244 00:10:29,370 --> 00:10:31,372 for sure. 245 00:10:32,213 --> 00:10:34,214 Shake? 246 00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:41,160 You know, it's been tough on me, too. 247 00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:43,041 I mean, I sat there last night. 248 00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:44,803 I laid in bed all night 249 00:10:44,903 --> 00:10:47,205 hearing nothing but the sound of that clock 250 00:10:47,305 --> 00:10:50,287 next to my bed, counting away my life. 251 00:10:50,387 --> 00:10:54,330 Tick, tick, tick. 252 00:10:54,430 --> 00:10:56,512 And then I realized what I need to do. 253 00:10:57,473 --> 00:10:59,475 Get a digital clock? 254 00:11:01,276 --> 00:11:03,098 I can't wait any longer, 255 00:11:03,198 --> 00:11:06,180 so I'm just gonna go ahead and have a baby on my own. 256 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,261 That's great. 257 00:11:07,361 --> 00:11:09,182 Me? I'm gonna go out and have 258 00:11:09,282 --> 00:11:11,284 a couple of beers with the guys, but... 259 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,747 We all handle grief in our own ways. 260 00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:18,490 See? Your sense of humor. That's such a wonderful trait. 261 00:11:19,851 --> 00:11:23,214 Ahh, that's why I'm so happy I'm having your baby. 262 00:11:32,141 --> 00:11:34,242 Are you telling me that you're pregnant? 263 00:11:34,342 --> 00:11:38,005 Nope. But I will be, thanks to you. 264 00:11:38,105 --> 00:11:39,847 Wait, am I missing a step here, 265 00:11:39,947 --> 00:11:44,090 because if you're talking about last night, 266 00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:46,212 I took precautions... 267 00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:47,773 We took precautions. 268 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,135 Let's just say I'm the kind of girl 269 00:11:50,235 --> 00:11:52,357 that never throws anything away. 270 00:11:58,882 --> 00:12:00,884 I put it in the freezer. 271 00:12:01,364 --> 00:12:03,606 You froze my guys? 272 00:12:05,728 --> 00:12:07,829 I'm just here to get your blessing. 273 00:12:07,929 --> 00:12:10,031 What am I, the Pope? 274 00:12:10,131 --> 00:12:11,152 Don't yell at me. 275 00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:14,114 Those are my guys! I want them back! 276 00:12:14,214 --> 00:12:16,116 All right, look. If you're gonna be all weird about this, 277 00:12:16,216 --> 00:12:17,197 I'm just gonna leave. 278 00:12:17,297 --> 00:12:19,298 You can't do this! 279 00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:23,222 Give me back my sperm! 280 00:12:28,786 --> 00:12:30,788 How you guys doin'? 281 00:12:35,151 --> 00:12:36,492 Crucified in the press. 282 00:12:36,592 --> 00:12:40,095 My approval ratings have dropped overnight. 283 00:12:40,195 --> 00:12:42,177 Get that band back together again, Flaherty. 284 00:12:42,277 --> 00:12:44,279 My first priority, sir. 285 00:12:45,119 --> 00:12:47,801 Okay. Mike's fertility clinic open for business. 286 00:12:49,443 --> 00:12:51,344 Nikki. Medical. Go. 287 00:12:51,444 --> 00:12:52,705 This particular insemination method 288 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,347 can actually work, 289 00:12:54,447 --> 00:12:56,068 although obviously it isn't popular 290 00:12:56,168 --> 00:12:58,170 amongst most women. 291 00:12:59,251 --> 00:13:01,652 For one, they don't get dinner and cab fare home. 292 00:13:03,014 --> 00:13:04,275 All right. Legal. 293 00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:06,757 Basically, the rulings are confusing 294 00:13:06,857 --> 00:13:08,718 and arbitrary, 295 00:13:08,818 --> 00:13:11,841 referring to lots of cases in books 296 00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:13,942 I couldn't find. 297 00:13:17,825 --> 00:13:19,847 Keep in mind I'm not a lawyer. 298 00:13:19,947 --> 00:13:21,949 Mike, that's Carrie on line 2. 299 00:13:22,709 --> 00:13:23,930 Uh, Carrie. Hi. 300 00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:25,291 Uh, yeah. 301 00:13:25,391 --> 00:13:26,572 Listen, um, um... 302 00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,574 What? What? Put her... put her... 303 00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:29,935 Put her on hold! Trust me. 304 00:13:30,035 --> 00:13:32,037 Put her on... Put her on hold. 305 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:35,219 Carrie, I'm just gonna put you on hold. 306 00:13:35,319 --> 00:13:38,742 Mike, I was this close from getting into the CIA. 307 00:13:38,842 --> 00:13:40,704 Trust me, we gotta treat this 308 00:13:40,804 --> 00:13:42,805 like a hostage situation. 309 00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:47,329 Lassiter here. 310 00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:50,392 Yes, I am fully apprised of the situation. 311 00:13:50,492 --> 00:13:52,914 Now, before we can even begin to talk, 312 00:13:53,014 --> 00:13:54,675 as a show of good faith, 313 00:13:54,775 --> 00:13:56,116 you have to release one, 314 00:13:56,216 --> 00:13:58,378 maybe two million of the hostages. 315 00:14:09,547 --> 00:14:11,569 Look, Kevin, I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this, 316 00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:15,111 but I got some photographs of you and Elton John. 317 00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:19,335 I think you might want them back. 318 00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:21,757 I used those as Christmas cards in '84. 319 00:14:23,998 --> 00:14:25,940 All right. That was my best shot. 320 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,341 Look, you gotta understand. 321 00:14:27,441 --> 00:14:29,483 I got a lot going on right now. 322 00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:32,025 I... 323 00:14:32,125 --> 00:14:35,328 I had sex with this woman, Kevin, 324 00:14:36,328 --> 00:14:38,330 and she wants to get pregnant. 325 00:14:39,891 --> 00:14:41,893 She kidnapped my guys, 326 00:14:42,573 --> 00:14:44,575 and she put them in the freezer. 327 00:14:45,295 --> 00:14:47,297 That old story. 328 00:14:48,058 --> 00:14:49,759 Uh, James. 329 00:14:49,859 --> 00:14:52,441 Kevin Travis, this is James Hobert. 330 00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:54,243 He's the Mayor's speech writer. 331 00:14:54,343 --> 00:14:55,444 Hi. 332 00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:57,605 I'm your... Uh... 333 00:14:57,705 --> 00:15:00,588 Yours... all your albums... 334 00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:03,770 Anyway, if you're going to say no, 335 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,872 I dare ya. Say no to him. 336 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,815 ♪♪ Baby, baby 337 00:15:09,915 --> 00:15:11,917 ♪♪ I love ya, baby♪♪ 338 00:15:13,158 --> 00:15:14,979 That song changed my life. 339 00:15:15,079 --> 00:15:16,260 Mine, too. 340 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,022 Went double platinum. I bought an island. 341 00:15:18,122 --> 00:15:20,304 (LAUGHS) 342 00:15:20,404 --> 00:15:21,825 I'm your biggest fan. 343 00:15:21,925 --> 00:15:24,787 I bought the vest you wore on your first tour for $1,000. 344 00:15:24,887 --> 00:15:26,889 Never worn a vest in my life. 345 00:15:29,371 --> 00:15:31,372 Oh, God. 346 00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,456 I see that you're supposed to be meeting 347 00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:37,838 with the lesbian activists tonight. 348 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,279 And I've got Sister Margaret, 349 00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:40,920 so I was wondering, 350 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:43,963 what do you say we trade, okay? 351 00:15:44,063 --> 00:15:46,805 My nuns for your lesbians. 352 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,247 They're not baseball cards, Paul. 353 00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:51,929 And besides, what do you know about lesbians? 354 00:15:52,029 --> 00:15:55,092 What do lesbians know about me? 355 00:15:55,192 --> 00:15:57,574 This could be a fabulous opportunity. 356 00:15:57,674 --> 00:15:59,675 To remind them why they're lesbians? 357 00:16:03,438 --> 00:16:04,619 All right. Carrie's on her way. 358 00:16:04,719 --> 00:16:06,701 I gotta get going. You all know your assignments. 359 00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:08,182 Carter, Stuart, you're gonna come with me. 360 00:16:08,282 --> 00:16:09,343 While I break into her apartment, 361 00:16:09,443 --> 00:16:10,984 you hold the cab, you hold the elevator. 362 00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:12,546 Nikki, you are plan "B." 363 00:16:12,646 --> 00:16:14,827 I want you to distract Carrie with these. 364 00:16:14,927 --> 00:16:16,629 Sperm bank pamphlets? 365 00:16:16,729 --> 00:16:18,310 Yeah. It's a list of donors. 366 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:19,711 It's probably a fool's errand, 367 00:16:19,811 --> 00:16:21,152 but see if you can find somebody 368 00:16:21,252 --> 00:16:23,254 who's got something I don't. 369 00:16:24,415 --> 00:16:26,076 Mike, I didn't get an assignment. 370 00:16:26,176 --> 00:16:28,839 Yours is the most important job of all. 371 00:16:28,939 --> 00:16:31,180 You stay here and look busy, okay? 372 00:16:32,061 --> 00:16:33,362 I gotta get going. 373 00:16:33,462 --> 00:16:34,883 ' Cause by my precise calculations, 374 00:16:34,983 --> 00:16:36,325 she should be here in five minutes. 375 00:16:36,425 --> 00:16:37,566 Hi, Dad. 376 00:16:37,666 --> 00:16:39,667 Damn this watch. 377 00:16:40,228 --> 00:16:42,970 Hi. Carrie, please, right this way. 378 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,331 Carter, Stuart, 379 00:16:44,431 --> 00:16:45,852 I have to take this meeting, 380 00:16:45,952 --> 00:16:47,774 so I can't take the other meeting I was going to take. 381 00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,875 If you could take that meeting for me? 382 00:16:50,796 --> 00:16:52,297 Wait a minute. What meeting? 383 00:16:52,397 --> 00:16:53,558 I thought you guys were going to break into the apartment. 384 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,380 Now you understand why your role in the mission 385 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,461 is to stay here and look busy. 386 00:16:57,561 --> 00:17:00,024 Carter, Carter, before you go, 387 00:17:00,124 --> 00:17:01,985 I'm begging you, switch with me. 388 00:17:02,085 --> 00:17:04,087 Please. I'll do anything. 389 00:17:05,488 --> 00:17:07,429 STUART: I can't believe you'd rather commit a felony 390 00:17:07,529 --> 00:17:08,711 than talk to some nuns. 391 00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:10,952 PAUL: Just stand there while I get my bearings. 392 00:17:11,052 --> 00:17:12,714 I have a very keen night vision. 393 00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,355 In a few moments, it's going to seem 394 00:17:14,455 --> 00:17:16,036 like broad daylight in here. 395 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:17,638 Does this help? 396 00:17:17,738 --> 00:17:19,399 Ow. Ow. 397 00:17:19,499 --> 00:17:22,061 Ouch. No, my pupils were fully dilated. 398 00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:25,204 I still can't get over that outfit. 399 00:17:25,304 --> 00:17:26,725 You can stand there and laugh, 400 00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:28,166 but when we're fleeing from the police, 401 00:17:28,266 --> 00:17:30,208 which one of us you think they're gonna notice first? 402 00:17:30,308 --> 00:17:31,729 I'm gonna guess the guy that looks like 403 00:17:31,829 --> 00:17:33,831 Catwoman on steroids. 404 00:17:35,872 --> 00:17:37,373 Come on. Let's get going. 405 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,015 And watch out for your fingerprints. 406 00:17:39,115 --> 00:17:40,416 Paul, we don't have to touch anything. 407 00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:41,857 Just unplug the refrigerator. 408 00:17:41,957 --> 00:17:43,218 By the time she figures out what happened, 409 00:17:43,318 --> 00:17:44,339 it'll be too late. 410 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,441 I think I got it. 411 00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:50,144 Oh. That's not it. 412 00:17:50,244 --> 00:17:51,585 Just grab the stuff and let's go. 413 00:17:51,685 --> 00:17:53,386 You grab the stuff. I paid for the cab. 414 00:17:53,486 --> 00:17:54,587 I picked the lock. 415 00:17:54,687 --> 00:17:56,149 I broke the toaster. 416 00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:58,350 (POLICE SIREN WAILS) Oh, my God. We're gonna get caught. 417 00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:00,832 Oh, God. I'll never see the light of day again. 418 00:18:00,932 --> 00:18:02,033 Get the package. 419 00:18:02,133 --> 00:18:03,354 What package? 420 00:18:03,454 --> 00:18:05,476 Aaah! I'm panicking! 421 00:18:05,576 --> 00:18:07,938 Every man for himself! (SIREN WAILS) 422 00:18:16,785 --> 00:18:18,166 How'd it go, guys? 423 00:18:18,266 --> 00:18:19,287 Go ahead. Tell him, Paul. 424 00:18:19,387 --> 00:18:21,369 Tell him how you saved the day. 425 00:18:21,469 --> 00:18:22,690 Is this it? 426 00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:24,932 Welcome home, fellas. 427 00:18:25,032 --> 00:18:27,193 Mike, that's frozen yogurt. 428 00:18:29,035 --> 00:18:30,776 Mike, you gotta understand. 429 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:31,937 Mike, the bad news is 430 00:18:32,037 --> 00:18:34,039 you're going to be a father. 431 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,622 The good news is we saved you a teaspoon 432 00:18:37,722 --> 00:18:39,964 of this fat-free frozen dessert treat. 433 00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:42,225 Mike, please. 434 00:18:42,325 --> 00:18:43,667 Understand there were sirens 435 00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:45,788 and they kept getting closer and closer... 436 00:18:45,888 --> 00:18:47,350 And then what happened, Paul? 437 00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:50,012 They kept getting farther and farther away. 438 00:18:51,453 --> 00:18:53,595 All of you failed at your assignments. 439 00:18:53,695 --> 00:18:54,675 No, no, no, Mike. 440 00:18:54,775 --> 00:18:56,777 Not me. I'm busy. Busy-busy. 441 00:19:02,902 --> 00:19:04,603 Okay. Now I know 442 00:19:04,703 --> 00:19:06,445 that you really want to have a baby with someone, 443 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:07,926 and I know that you're afraid 444 00:19:08,026 --> 00:19:09,327 that you're not going to find that person. 445 00:19:09,427 --> 00:19:10,728 I am afraid, too, 446 00:19:10,828 --> 00:19:12,490 but believe me when I tell you 447 00:19:12,590 --> 00:19:13,971 one day you will, 448 00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:17,434 and you're going to be so, so happy that you waited. 449 00:19:23,558 --> 00:19:25,220 Blah, blah, blah, 450 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,582 blah, blah, blah, blah. 451 00:19:27,682 --> 00:19:29,683 Okay. You're nuts. 452 00:19:36,129 --> 00:19:39,031 You padlocked the freezer. 453 00:19:39,131 --> 00:19:42,173 Fine. I'm taking the whole thing with me. 454 00:19:49,179 --> 00:19:51,181 Could you hold the door for me? 455 00:19:56,025 --> 00:19:58,026 Well, we did it. 456 00:19:58,547 --> 00:20:00,929 How'd we do it? 457 00:20:01,029 --> 00:20:02,850 Sir, he's got a daughter applying to colleges, 458 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:05,292 and once he found out my father was president of Yale, 459 00:20:05,392 --> 00:20:07,334 things just really fell into place. 460 00:20:07,434 --> 00:20:09,976 I thought your father was a pharmacist. 461 00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:12,318 Sir, with all due respect, do you wanna rock, or what? 462 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,302 Hey, Mike, how'd it go? 463 00:20:17,402 --> 00:20:19,403 Just call me Pops. 464 00:20:19,964 --> 00:20:21,905 Can't you feel the excitement, Mike? 465 00:20:22,005 --> 00:20:23,066 Oh, yeah, sir. 466 00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,988 A couple of hippies stumble out of retirement 467 00:20:25,088 --> 00:20:27,290 and pad their investment portfolios. 468 00:20:27,770 --> 00:20:29,351 Whoopee, sir. 469 00:20:29,451 --> 00:20:31,513 This is more than some old hippies, Mike. 470 00:20:31,613 --> 00:20:33,615 This is Clark, Prado, and Conrad! 471 00:20:34,335 --> 00:20:36,337 No. Those are your attorneys, sir. 472 00:20:36,937 --> 00:20:38,359 (CROWD CHEERING WILDLY) 473 00:20:38,459 --> 00:20:42,082 New York City knows how to rock 'n roll! 474 00:20:42,182 --> 00:20:43,523 And as a thank-you to our fans, 475 00:20:43,623 --> 00:20:45,965 get ready for the biggest rock band in history 476 00:20:46,065 --> 00:20:49,087 to give you the biggest light show in the history of Rock Them. 477 00:20:49,187 --> 00:20:51,369 Let's rock! 478 00:20:51,469 --> 00:20:53,471 (ELECTRICITY ZAPPING ) 479 00:21:00,596 --> 00:21:02,338 Mike, you're not supposed to hold the lighter up 480 00:21:02,438 --> 00:21:04,620 until the end of the show, I think. 481 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,301 That is the end of the show, sir. 482 00:21:06,401 --> 00:21:08,182 Power's out all over the city. 483 00:21:08,282 --> 00:21:10,624 Everywhere? It's a tragedy. 484 00:21:10,724 --> 00:21:11,905 I mean, the city can't exist 485 00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:14,628 without its subways and its traffic lights, its... 486 00:21:14,728 --> 00:21:16,729 Refrigerators. 487 00:21:27,178 --> 00:21:29,980 We've got bigger problems than melting ice cream, Mike. 488 00:21:31,501 --> 00:21:33,503 I don't, sir. 489 00:21:37,266 --> 00:21:39,127 PAUL: Ladies, the power's going to be off for a while, 490 00:21:39,227 --> 00:21:41,129 so we should get started. Let me just say 491 00:21:41,229 --> 00:21:43,130 first off that this administration is very proud 492 00:21:43,230 --> 00:21:45,973 of its open attitude towards alternative lifestyles. 493 00:21:46,073 --> 00:21:47,934 Who you choose to share your bed with 494 00:21:48,034 --> 00:21:50,616 or who you choose to shower with 495 00:21:50,716 --> 00:21:53,819 or whatever, is entirely your choice. 496 00:21:53,919 --> 00:21:56,301 Consensual sex is entirely that. 497 00:21:56,401 --> 00:21:58,643 Consensual. So, enjoy. 498 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:03,407 Ugh. 499 00:22:04,768 --> 00:22:06,469 I'm sorry. 500 00:22:06,569 --> 00:22:08,571 It's the wrong room.